Sugar Daddy Arrangement Blog

Having Your Leg Pulled?

It was supposed to go as planned. But then you got a call, or an email, or worst of all, nothing.

Excuses are easier to give than take.

This is not a black & white issue… What if someone ‘forgot’ to send their most recent picture (post-op?) until the day of your 1st scheduled meeting — and it wasn’t so pretty? What if you learn something awful about a potential SD or SB and have to cancel your arrangement?

Arrangement Excuses

* My college finals are comming up and I didn’t realize how much studying I’d have to do… sorry

* My wife has fallen Ill and I must remain by her side… sorry, but I can’t pick you up from the airport now

* My Pastor gave a touching sermon on infedelity yesterday, and I’m afraid I can’t do this anymore

* My boyfriend proposed to me

* Sure, I can still make it… is it all right if I bring my kids?

Again, put yourself in their shoes… if they think the truth would hurt you more than a lie, they’ll probably tell you a lie (if their nice?). If the truth is that they found someone else, or that they’re not interested in you, would you really wanna hear it?

C’mon, wouldn’t you rather be able to vilify someone as a liar or a flake than know the painful reasoning behind them finding you “not good enough”? I think so. I’ll be the first to admit that, at this point, I don’t even THINK about looking at my “sent” message folder… what a waste. Believe me, I’ve been through my fair share of online rejection, so I am stickin to what I know.

One Sugar Baby writes:

“…so many of the sugardaddies I have had contact with are full of dramatic excuses not to meet.  I do have 2 potentials to meet in the next couple weeks, keeping my fingers crossed, but I have had some crazy excuses, cancellations, etc.
I wonder if this has happened to other members?  One guy had a really bad rolloever automobile accident and although he was hurt bad, managed to be on this site everyday.  Afterwards he caught the flu and is really sick.”

When, if ever, is lying acceptable to get out of an arrangement?

Does anyone have thoughts about excuses? Is it ever acceptable to make an excuse just to get out of an arrangement? What are some excuses you’ve heard that you thought were lies? Anything funny? Dramatic? Obvious?

Comments ON

Sugar Daddies & Sugar Babies Learn to Set Limits

What a weekend… can we say, Oink!?

Whether it’s a 3:00 AM call on your home phone from a drunken sugar baby, or a surprise bouquet sent to your office from a man everyone knows ISN’T your husband… setting and respecting sugar daddy & sugar baby boundaries is a key ingredient of these no-strings-attached relationships.

As mentioned in recent comments, making arrangements is similar to speed dating; efficient, honest, & upfront. Yet speed dates usually slow way down upon successful matchmaking - ya know, it takes time to build a traditional relationship… Sometimes I think people treat arrangements as if they’re not worthy of respect, kind of like a side dish to their ‘real’ life. However, I know that many sugar daddies and babies on the site cherish their SD/SB bonds, perhaps even more than they would a traditional relationship.

Speaking in terms of mutually beneficial dating - boundaries are EVERYTHING. So how can you establish them without negatively impacting the shared experience?

A while back, I recall Ben and another Sugar Daddy discussing the idea of a “trial period“… perhaps boundries can be established within such a period. The exciting part about this is that establishing boundaries after you meet can allow for surprises… but I don’t have to say how many edges are on that sword.

Comments ON

This Morning, Someone Wrote Into The Site…

I received a pop up from your website and I couldn’t believe my eyes. The idea is disgusting. It completely ruins the sanctity of marriage and commitment. It’s horrible that you support marriages falling apart and disrupting homes. Just Disgusting!!!

Stephan from SeekingArrangement.com writes…

I’m glad you wrote in. I offer you a link to our member blog not to be snide or bold, but to lend you access to simply; additional information about this subject- whether you like it or not, it’s happening… so here’s what the people living the life have to say…

Marilyn’s Take:

“Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives”

“A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe and leaves before she is left.”

“Never take a woman’s man. Not intentionally, that is.”

“I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.”

“Sex is a part of nature, I go along with nature”

It’s something that isn’t new and just won’t go away… the unending paradox of love, desire & commitment… “The greater the love, the more false to it’s object. Not to be born is the best for man”- Auden

Comments ON

What’s Your Favorite Sugar Daddy Experience?

Be honest. What does the ultimate sugar daddy experience involve in your opinion? Food? What kind of play?

There are normal dates in which one courts a potential boyfriend or girlfriend (or reliable booty-call), but most sugar daddy dates pack-in as much fun as possible in a relatively small amount of time. Sugar daddies, being men of considerable significance in their professional industries and communities, often seek exclusive settings for their dates with sugar babies.

Sugar Baby Writes:

“It would be nice to hear what other sugar babies and sugar daddies think about the “best” way to have an arrangement date, especially if you haven’t met before. I’ve had 2 dates so far and both were in totally different settings. One was a dinner date, the other was at a fancy hotel nightclub. Personally i favor a less intimate 1st sugar daddy date as to set things off on a fun/sexy/light tone. What do sugar daddies prefer? What do other sugar babies prefer?”

Comments ON

What Should You Get For What You Give?

Have you ever expected more, or frankly, less, from an arrangement than what you ended up receiving? Arrangements are supposed to be simple, easy, and most of all, fun. If the process becomes a process… then your probably not in the right lane. If you want to avoid running around in circles with a potential, you should plan the arrangement before you write the first message. What I mean by that is, have an idea of when you are prepared to start the arrangement, what benefit you think you can provide the other, and what benefit you think the other can provide you. If you do not have a clear idea of the previously stated “arrangement essentials” (time & mutual benefit), then your setting yourself up for possible headache.

A Sugar Baby wrote in to the blog this morning:

“I would like to know what the men think they are paying for and vice versa. Is it for sex? Companionship? Adventure they can’t get elsewhere? NSA? If NSA, what does that mean to each party and why must it be paid for. I know my married man thinks he would be paying for sex and also thinks he doesn’t have to. I keep trying to explain its not sex. But, let’s see what others have to say. Shall we?”

We have had some great conversations on this blog about what it means to be a sugar daddy or sugar baby. We’ve touched on the subject about what to ask for, how to ask it, and when to do the asking; but today’s blog is about what you think your getting VS what you actually receive.

Don’t assume that a sugar baby or sugar daddy will help you find time for an arrangement, or walk you through your own qualms about the concept of NSA, mutually beneficial dating. If you need some moral guidance, let it all out on the blog, or ask a trusted friend… but don’t expect a sugar daddy or sugar baby to convince you or persuade you to become a sugar dater. You must make that decision alone.

Most importantly, when the time comes to jump in the cold water, jump. But if your not ready, be honest with yourself and save an aspiring sugar daddy or sugar baby the time, money, and discouragement. Don’t lead a sugar baby or sugar daddy to believe they found a match, only to find that what they really had was a pair of cold feet.

Comments ON

Sugar Babies- American Geisha?

Cre8tor writes:

“I like to think of myself as an American Geisha… a different perspective on an honest relationship. Many times in the process of trying to find love we look for red flags and annoying habits. In a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship, those things do not matter. If he leaves the toothpaste cap off, its not a problem because he goes home. If he doesn’t like the fact I don’t make the bed everyday, no worries, he has his own place. The relationship becomes about pleasing and being pleased. Ladies, we are here to make their manhood a priority and to appreciate them for the time we have with them. If they didn’t like taking care of a woman that cares for them, they wouldn’t be on this site. Its not about need but rather appreciation, respect and honesty. All of us have our sad stories about why we ended up here. Its not sad! Love? You will have some variation of whatever love is but the expectations are different and much easier to live with. Enjoy!” -cre8tor

Many of us Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies have wondered how love ties into mutually beneficial relationships. Folks in the traditional dating scene seem to think they have a monopoly on love, but like cre8tor mentioned, “…you will have some variation of whatever love is but the expectations are different and much easier to live with.”

Can we make it official? Is love, or some variation of it possible in a sugar daddy relationship? Now, this may be dangerous territory for the blog, as many of us are just fine without the L word (and I don’t mean the show) interfering in our lives. But this weekends blog isn’t about the love between two monogomous partners, it’s about what it means to feel love for someone in a no-strings-attached arrangement.

How To Tell When Your Falling In Love With Your SD/SB

* when you picture a future together

* when you wish you were maried

* when you wish he or she wasn’t so desirable so you could have them all to yourself

* when you wish they’d change their mind about NSA

Sugar Daddies, Sugar Mamas, Sugar Baby Females and Sugar Baby Males: What are your thoughts? Should we create the Ten Commandments of Love and Sugar?

Thou shalt not expect more than is offered

Thou shalt make hast no later than sun rise

Thou shalt not lie about thine annual income or net worth

Does anyone think love should always stay out of an arrangement? Or, is there a special type of love that can exist in mutually beneficial sugar daddy relationships?

Comments ON

Sugar Daddy by persona, heart-breaker by trade, meet Mr. Big. (Sex and the City)

The Man Behind The Sugar

As a Business man, he’s fueled a record of financial success. The suit, the power lunches, the briefcases, the flow charts…

Yet, whether he’s a retired daddy, workaholic daddy, or trust-fund daddy, he’s come to realize that in today’s world, limited time means limited commitment. He’s got everything a girl could want, and he only wants a girl who doesn’t want too much of him… He’s looking for a sugar baby.

Who’s Your Baby?

* she looks just like the girl in your dreams

* she’s got looks, personality & class — now she wants the money and power

* she’s fun, sweet, considerate, affectionate and willing to try new things

*she’s curious about life, and appreciates someone with an inside edge

The Sugar Daddy loves a good hunt. A mogul in business, he jumps at the chance to flex his muscles of persuasion. He’s revered in the boardroom, notorious amongst his competitors, and will pull out all the stops for the right girl… or group of girls. One Sugar Daddy on the site has a house of live-in Sugar Babies - each of them receiving monthly allowances.

The sugar daddy usually starts the arrangement with a date. He might take you on a casual night out, usually because he wants to get a feel for how well you appreciate normal things. Being able to woo you turns him on, so a moderate first date can leave room for bigger things ahead. On the flip side, he might invite you to the Seeking Arrangement Party in Vegas, or maybe he’ll surprise you with an expensive gift. If he’s succeeds, he’ll discover exactly how to keep you wanting more.

Who’s Your Daddy?

* in a meeting by default

* invites you to runaway for pleasure’s sake

* the man with the envelopes

* a bit of a mystery, you wonder what he’s thinking… He is a man, after all

He knows pleasure is a two way street, and truth be told, he wants to get you off. But he’ll do so in ways other men can’t. He seeks to romance you, not only with his money, but with his talent. He’s the guy who’s been special all his life, and unlike most of his peers, he made it. Will you allow him to make you his gift?

Comments ON

Off The Wall Sugar Daddy Dating Requests!

Have you ever wondered how to respond to a strange sugar daddy or sugar baby request? Do you have an interesting, unusual and/or unique arrangement proposal and would like to share?

Breaking The SugarDaddy Ice…

* don’t be too specific, leave room for possibility

* write smart, thoughtful and sexy

* don’t be automated, add a personal touch to your message

* type with intent, chat flirty

* don’t waste your time, shoot for a meet within the week

First contact is one of the most important steps you’ll ever take with your sugar daddy, or sugar baby. Will you play it safe, and be brief, polite, and slightly vague? Or is captivating your sugardaddies/sugarbabies attention part of your strategy? I’ve heard some pretty spicy initial emails… Some of them begin with the first 5 menu options of a 5 star restaurant in Abu Dhabi, others begin with backhanded complements, playful teasing or sometimes blatant criticism, followed by gentle and somehow all the more sincere complements.

If you’ve ever thought a SugarDaddy or SugarBaby request was a bit odd, and wanted to get another opinion, leave your comments, questions and advice here! Some funny requests or demands would be GREAT?!

Comments ON

New Meaning of Torture: SugarBaby Blackmail…

Former Senator, 2004 Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee and 2008 Presidential Hopeful John Edwards Yanked Out The SugarDaddy Closet!

I’ve met John Edwards… it was brief, but he has a firm, moist shake. I’ve never met his cancer stricken wife, Elizabeth. My friend Lisa had dinner with the battle scarred couple in the mid 90’s, before the death of their 16 year old son, Wade. She said they were a little stiff, perhaps even dull. I’m guessing that what went on behind closed doors was anything but.

Senator Edwards Becomes Notorious Sugar Daddy!

He met a girl at a bar, she was a barely known filmmaker who proposed a “working assistant” sugar daddy arrangement. In this arrangement, she would produce some fluff youtube videos chronicling the senators campaign, giving her the perfect excuse for going all around the country with him in very close quarters, “documenting the real side” of the senator… I bet. Amazingly, she received $114,000 from the John Edwards Presidential Campaign, apparently, all for her “website/internet” services. Quite an allowance, eh?

Mr. Edwards came out with a statement today, it was so humble I wanted to leave the tv room to escape the overwhelming sense of embarrassment permeating through the screen. He said that he had become increasingly “narcissistic”, due in part to years of fan-clad campaigning. But the more telling statement came from the newly anointed SugarDaddy wife — Mrs. Edwards herself…

Sugar Daddy Edward’s Wife Speaks Out!

“…John made a terrible mistake in 2006. The fact that it is a mistake that many others have made before him did not make it any easier for me to hear when he told me what he had done. But he did tell me. And we began a long and painful process in 2006, a process oddly made somewhat easier with my diagnosis in March of 2007. This was our private matter, and I frankly wanted it to be private because as painful as it was I did not want to have to play it out on a public stage as well. Because of a recent string of hurtful and absurd lies in a tabloid publication, because of a picture falsely suggesting that John was spending time with a child it wrongly alleged he had fathered outside our marriage, our private matter could no longer be wholly private. The pain of the long journey since 2006 was about to be renewed…”

As for the SugarBaby, Rielle Hunter, she’s claiming that her newly born son is fathered by none other than her $114,000 SugarDaddy — John Edwards. Perhaps she’s seeking the ultimate long-term sugardaddy arrangement…Child Support!

Is this the ultimate in SugarDaddy blackmail? SugarDaddies… are you scarred? What do you think?

Comments ON

The art of Giving Sugar Style

Whether your a SugarDaddy or SugarBaby, there is an Art to making your contribution in a mutually beneficial relationship irresistible.

Unlike ordinary relationships, an “arrangement” is based 100% on having a good time and getting what you want. Not everyone can give you what you want, either because they don’t own it, or don’t have it… you get my drift?

This space is for people who are honest about what they want. It’s Simple. When you know what you have, and how much it’s worth, only then can you begin to trade, invest, and sell your goods.

SugarDaddies are usually judged purely on their wealth, though there are always exceptions. If you’re a sugardaddy, than I don’t need to tell you what wealth is, but perhaps you have some your not even aware of…

A Sugar Daddy Gives…

*without too many words or details…

*designer shoes given at random, red pairs never fail

*the security of having more than you’ll ever need

*expensive gifts professionally wrapped by sweet old grandmas

The idea is to make it effortless. If your thinking about what to give, than your missing the point. Outside of predetermined details, like allowance amount, travel arrangements, etc, the majority of your gifting should be spontaneous, and as a result, you’ll be irresistible. A good arrangement just “feels” right. When your having fun and the time flies, hold on to that moment as long as you can. Don’t lose it by dragging in baggage from past relationships, cuz this ain’t a “relationship” relationship!

A Sugar Baby Gives…

*enthusiasm and the spark of life

*hotness to look at, walk with or be next to

*another reason to go to your high school reunion

*adventure, change and newness: the keys to youth

If a SugarDaddy has chosen you, than your “work” is done. Being open is your only duty. It’s more about what you don’t do than what you DO do. You don’t want to judge your SugarDaddy, nor do you want to be closed off to different ideas or possible opportunities. Toe the line of getting what you want, while being a vulnerable, open minded and willing participant in the finer things in life.

Comments ON

Temptation…

Not all SugarDaddies and SugarBabies have the same story. I don’t think everyone’s here because they’re bitter about love, but rather because they’re realistic about life and the importance of being happy NOW. Is there a turning point at which you chose to play a different role in the dating game?

For all you arrangement virgins, keep in mind that just because this is a sugardaddy site, you don’t have to “play the role” of a sugardaddy or sugarbaby. I was chatting with a friend this morning who says that she uses SeekingArrangement not for the money, but for the company; “I like to surround myself with successful, considerate, high-quality people… any Joe Shmoe 20 something can take me to a ball game, grab me a bite and call it a date… but I want a maverick”.

I’ve also met some SugarDaddies who put Sex near the bottom of the SugarBaby wish-list. Plenty of SugarDaddies favor conversation with a hot, sultry and stimulating woman over a quick romp.

SugarDaddies: Is the idea of “becoming a sugardaddy” ridiculous, or is the term well suited? Before you started sugardating, did you have a different look/style than you do now? Has it enhanced your confidence? Do all of the young and attractive sugarbabies make you want to hit the gym, buy a new car, address your MPB, etc? Basically, has becoming a sugardaddy made you beef-up your peacock feathers?

SugarBabies: Come a long way in getting here? Probably! Most sugarbabies take more than just a moment to decide whether finding a sugardaddy is the next “right step” for them. Are you like my friend Alicia who only dates sugardaddies for their company and business connections? I’d love to hear what or who gave you the extra push in getting here…was it your best friend? Reality TV shows? Your MOM?!

Comments ON

One SugarDaddy Says Some SugarBabies Are Too Needy

This morning, an anonymous SugarDaddy asked an interesting question :

“What do potential Sugar Daddies feel about SugarBabies who immediately start poor mouthing about all of their bills and financial problems? How do they feel about girls that imediately ask for help before even meeting a potential SugarDaddie?”

SugarDaddies: Now, I know plenty of you SugarDaddies can relate to this guy. If your a SugarDaddy, then I’m sure you’ve had to evaluate the expectations/needs of a potential SugarBaby before, but how do you determine whether or not to meet a SugarBabies expectations? Under what circumstances, if any, would you supply a SugarBaby with gifts, money, or travel BEFORE having met?

SugarBabies: We’ve talked about “SugarDaddy Expectations” before, but what about timing, urgency, and tact? How soon is TOO soon to ask a SugarDaddy for support? There’s something to be said for being  upfront, but perhaps it’s also important to not seem too demanding when making your desires known. What do YOU think about this SugarDaddies question?

Comments ON

Sugar Babby “ButterCup” Gives Married Sugar Daddy Advice

(ButterCup Writes)

Married men are a different kind of SugarDaddy. I am currently seeing a married man. At first I thought it was the best option, since I’d have more free time at night and on weekends, and it would put a concrete limit to any emotional escalation.

I am very attached to him now, but if I had to start all over again, I would choose a non married SugarDaddy, here’s why:

If your SugarDaddie lives with his wife, the only time you will get to talk to him on the phone is from around 10AM to 7PM on weekdays, and the occasional unexpected alone moments. Trust me babe, it gets really hard from 7PM to 10AM, or weekends, when you know he’s living his real life and you have no part in it.

When dating a married SugarDaddy, there will always be the time where he tells you about his wife. The wife is like a third, silent person in your relationship with him. The duration of the relationship in a lot of cases depends on her not finding out about the arrangement. If she finds out, you can most likely forget about your SugarDaddie. It is also possible that if she gets sick or has an accident, your SugarDaddy will decide that he has to be there for her, and end your relationship. So although a single SugarDaddie might be fickle because of personal tastes, a relationship with a married SugarDaddy can be quite unstable.

How To Avoid His Wife FInding Out…

* do not wear perfume when you meet him

* do not use his hairbrush

* if you have to walk in the street, walk at a small distance from each other

* do not make unreasonable requests

* do not suggest any changes (perfume or appearance) - she WILL notice

* NEVER leave notes he might want to keep

* do not call him outside his “out of home” time, even to leave a voice mail

(these are only things YOU can do, doing them does not guarantee that your SugarDaddy will do all the things a married Sugar Daddy should do to stay safe and not hurt anyone’s feelings)

Some married Sugar Daddies have to be careful with their expenses, as most of them have their credit card bills sent at home where they can be scrutinized and analyzed by their wives. This means they can’t easily do things such as buy plane tickets online, pay for your phone bill in a minute if you have a problem, buy you gifts online, take you on major shopping sprees (you can only walk around with so much cash), pay for hotel rooms, or even transfer money into your account. Of course, some are smarter and have a credit card whose bill is sent to their office and will use it to spoil you, but they don’t all have one already, and it might take a while.

If only Saks Fifth billed credit cards as “worldemail.com”

Last but not least, the room for being spontaneous is greatly reduced in a relationship with a married SugarDaddy. Unless his family is on holidays at the other end of the world for a month, there is little chance you and him can act on whim and impulse together. This can be less fun, especially if you like spontaneity.

So here’s my little “article” about married Sugar Daddies Of course darling, if you have to choose between a married man you really like and a single man you like a lot less, go for the married one, but know what you’re in for before jumping in.

Good luck babe, let us know how it goes!

LOVE buttercup

aww writing this post made me sad

(Stephan from SeekingArrangement.com Writes)

Thank you SO much for sharing ButterCup!!!

*Hands ButterCup the “SugarBlogger Of The Week Award”* You needn’t be sad Butter, we love you !!!

Are there any other Sugar Babies or Sugar Daddies who date married? What have you learned that might be helpful for others to know?

Comments ON

(*this post was submitted to Blog@SeekingArrangement.com, all “sd” and “sb” original quotes were expanded to “sugar daddy” and “sugar baby” respectively by the editor)

Feel Safe?

Whether your looking for SugarDaddies or SugarBabies, you should always be, and hopefully FEEL, safe.

Let’s face it - having a date with someone you’ve never met (a blind date) can be scary enough, but flying across the globe to meet a potential SugarDaddy for the first time could be even more nerve-wrecking, albeit possibly more rewarding.

Sugardaddies should also keep THEIR safety in mind.

They too are meeting people they’ve never met, and frankly, until they actually see the sugarbabies they’ve corresponded with, they have no proof either. Sugardaddies also have to keep their financial safety in mind, as there are plenty of scam artists trying to pose as honest SugarBabies… perhaps we can call these “SugarBaby Posers” lol (inside joke, *nudges “confused”*).

SugarDaddies: If a SugarBaby wants you to send money or buy tickets before you meet, would you? Why or Why Not?

SugarBabies: Have you ever had trouble trusting a SugarDaddy? What could a SugarDaddy do to gain, or loose your trust? What kind of SugarDaddies do you trust the most?

Comments ON

Is there ever a point at which you KNOW your a Sugar Daddy, or Sugar Baby?

I think everyone has an idea of the generic “Sugar Daddy” — a guy over 40, with millions if not billions in the bank, who has an unusual obsession with bathrobes.

I also think people have an image of the generic “Sugar Baby” — a girl under 30, financially dependent, and has a Body Mass Index of less than 1% fat.

If what I just mentioned sounded even remotely familiar, perhaps you too share the same preconceived notions about sugar daddies and sugar babies as most of the world does.

For those new to SeekingArrangement.com, you may be surprised to find that many of the sugardaddies aren’t mega-millionaires, over 40 or obsessive compulsive bathrobe wearers. And there are all types of Sugar Babies as well; from petite to voluptuous, from the late teens to the late 30’s and up - sugar babies don’t come in a one-size-fits-all package.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has their own take on sugar daddy dating, what it means to BE a SugarDaddy or SugarBaby, and how you think the stereotypes of what a SugarDaddy or SugarBaby is supposed to be effects YOU.

Comments ON