There are all kinds of sugar daddy arrangements out there, but one aspect of a mutually beneficial arrangement that no sugar should neglect is appreciation – not just for the material sugar, but for the arrangement as a whole.
While even most newbie sugars know that being grateful goes a long way in making an arrangement sweet, many have reported a less than desired level of sugar gratitude…
“Unfortunately, generosity does not always beget appreciation, but rather greed. The phrase “no good deed goes unpunished” comes to mind . . .” - NYGent
The most important thing I’ve learned regarding sugar relationships that this is not about paying for sex but about giving and appreciation. Sex is a part of the relationship, but sex by itself is cheap and does not worth much. Conversations are part of relationship too, but who cares about conversations with people we don’t appreciate! - Margo
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
Tags: sugar baby appreciation, sugar daddy appreciation, sugar daddy gratitude
How important is feeling appreciated to you in an arrangement?
I don’t expect anything from my input. I had realized it is the best way to avoid factors that would hinder of influence future actions. However, I appreciate being appreciated.
Do you test potential sugar daddies or babies for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
I’d rather use the word ‘observe’ to ‘test’. Appreciation/Gratitude gets my attention. For some unknown reason, I feel awkward when one express their gratitude/gratefulness verbally….
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
This varies depending on the individual. Personally, it will depend on what a person needs or wants. It’s about filling a void. That is what makes me happy.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
I think that initiative is doomed to not be productive in the long-run. While it may be a challenge that would bring much excitement, one can easily see an end in sight! (Katrina Elam-no end in sight).
Being that my views are liberal, I find everything OK and Not OK. The final word is based upon the reasoning and whether or not a person finds it reasonable or unreasonable-subjectivity.
By the way, thanks for the site.
Allll L- interesting
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
It should be a part of it as in any IRL relationship. It should be a mobius strip of “thank yous” and enough compliments to fluff up each other’s egos
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
I think Alll L is right in that watching their reaction will tell all
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
Simple gestures are nice, but there if you “thank” someone too much, it may make them uncomfortable.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
No way. People who are impossible to please are impossible to be around after a while.
Morning SBNxtdoor! Did everyone go away when the new blog opened?
So, yeah – I’m not “feeling” work today….
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement? It is very important to me. I mean, sure, we’re both getting something out of it, but show me that you “want” to spend your time with me. Have a smile on your face when you see me, be happy to hear from me when I call. It’s definitely important and should occur on BOTH sides….
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how? Well, I think it’s by the look on the face or the tone of their voice when you see them, but otherwise, no I don’t test them.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more? Probably. I mean if an SD is talking to two SBs and one seems happy to see him, says thank you, has a smile in her voice when he calls and the other doesn’t, then he’ll more than likely stick with the one who shows more gratitude that he is in her life.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book? No, I just don’t think that’s the best approach. At some point, it will come back to bite you. At some point, you have to be satisfied…if not and you need to keep getting more, more, more, then there are probably other reasons you’re not satisfied and they have nothing to do with the sugar life.
Hope everyone’s having a great day. Ciao!
Good Morning all!
Hey, everyone.
I’m new to this whole ~SugaWorld thing, but I was just reading about this appreciation thing.
Just curious; does ‘appreciation’ on the SBs part have to be sex? Do all SDs expect that type of appreciation after just one meet or one gift?
Just trying to get a feel of how things are around here; sorry if that was a little off base, or has been covered before.
SBJason – In my very limited experience, the SDs who expect sex after the first meet aren’t worth my time.
Jason — for most people, the first meeting is a chance to see if there is chemistry and mutual attraction. Intimacy sometimes happens on the first meeting, but I would say most of the time it doesn’t.
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement? I feel it is human nature to want to feel appreciation in all aspects of life; not just an arrangement. Work, friendships, marriages, etc.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how? No, not at all. I feel doing so is a bit manipulative. If my actions are a ‘test’ with an expectation and not genuine, then why should I expect genuine appreciation? I like what Alll L said about ‘observing’ rather than ‘testing’. If appreciation and gratitude are motivators for behavior, then you can generally tell by a person’s body language, gestures, etc.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more? Is this question transposed somehow? Why would a sugar who shows less get more? I’m confused.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book? Absolutely not. Many emotions and personality traits (compatibility) are important to the well-being, growth and health of an arrangement. Lack of gratitude is probably the worst thing you can exhibit in an arrangement and the quickest way to end one.
re “open minded” – it seems pointless. generally one assumes that a married guy looking for a sugar baby is looking for a few things and one of them is a woman who will do more than ‘married sex’ with him. it’s redundant somehow…
.
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
i don’t think it matters what the relationship. i start getting upset when i feel that people are taking and taking and taking from my generous nature without ever noticing or thanking or buying me brunch… just let me see you noticing some of the ways i help you, you’ll never see them all of course
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
i don’t test people, i just trust them and like them and if their true colours emerge i move on. but i usually give people far too much benefit of the doubt or like them long past good sense.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
probably. people always say that they want a smart and together woman, one who is funny and bright and well built and whatever… they say they don’t want guessing games or whatever and yet?
here i am, all of those things and i don’t get a second date. it is (to my mind) in large part because i am that open and friendly person everyone says they want.
where’s the challenge in that?
i am really starting to think there’s something to this ‘hard to get’ crap… and i don’t even mean sexually. i mean with information and self. i think i even mean it when it comes to friendship with men; it’s like if you ask them to go for a beer they think you’re asking them on a date or something, regardless of how you say it.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
i read a profile once of a guy who wanted a hot young thing to spoil. he wanted her to use him for his credit card and demand help or whatever at all times and there was to be no sex of any kind.
so go figure
red flags?
guys who out of the blue send me an email with a cell number and a request that i call/email them…
guys who talk about meeting but never come up with a detail
ill fitting clothing
should be calling an escort
couples
obesity – i’m sorry, i know it’s shallow but it also isn’t. i lost one of my very best friends to a heart attack when he was 49 years and about 400 pounds old. i can’t take it … furthermore, if i hang out with slothful people i fall into slothful habits. no thanks
text or cool speak. i’m an adult, talk to me like one
overly boastful
In response to SBjason’s question: “Just curious; does ‘appreciation’ on the SBs part have to be sex? Do all SDs expect that type of appreciation after just one meet or one gift?”
If you are to meet and be with a quality SD, I would say no, it is not expected. (Not in my experiences anyway.) However, if there is mutual chemistry on date one and you can’t keep your hands off each other, go with what feels right.
I just went back and read a few old blog comments and found a question from HLurker to me regarding the woman being the one tasting the wine.
Yes, HLurker, I am a bit of a wine connoisseur and the SDs I have been with have known this about me, therefore, always gave me the first opportunity to look at the wine list and order the first bottle. By the simple virtue of that, I SHOULD be the one to taste the wine since I made the selection. I should have elaborated more on that little comment of mine in that posting.
To be clear, what I meant is that the gentlemanly quality in this is not that he allowed me to taste the wine first, but that he asked if I would like to select the wine since I know wines. It seems a SD is more likely to want to please you in every way and if ordering the wine makes you happy, he will give that to you. Regular dates tend to find it emasculating to allow the woman to order without regard or thought to the fact that she likes to. That’s one reason I love my SB life!!
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
I think it is the basis of a mutually beneficial arrangement. So, mandatory.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
No testing here – games take too long..no ty. I think it is pretty apparent if someone is appreciative or not.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
I think depending on the sugar – this ‘could’ be true. For example, some men like the chase – are drawn to the chase (ie: IRLSD for one), and perhaps in the beginning before the chase is realized, they could get more benefits intitially – but again – that depends on what benefits are important to you. For myself I would not say this is true, b/c the type of SD that is interested in ‘the chase’ is not for me. I am looking for a game-less arrangement with someone that APPRECIATES me, not BUYS me. The best benefit for me would be chemistry and honesty. I am soooo not a ‘princess’…however, it would be nice to feel like one once in awhile
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
Again that is just more games. NOT ok in my book at all.
Hello sugars…
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
It’s very important. We’re all busy and have many different facets of life to attend to, but I like feeling that when I wear a new sexy dress or have my hair done up for my SD that it doesn’t go unnoticed. Whether I feel appreciation by verbal praise and/or with little trinkets, appreciation is a two-way street and a fabulous feeling none the less. We all want to feel like we matter to the person we’re with. But the great thing about a MBA is that it’s a step out of the mundane ordinary dull cycle that the rest of our lives can become. So it’s important to recognize and appreciate these little snippets of sugary sweetness when they come our way. They don’t call it the Sugar Bowl for nothing…
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
I agree with the mention of observing how someone reacts. If the chemistry starts to sour and it feels as if there are mind games and machinations occurring, then it takes all the fun out of it. Noone likes to feel as if they’re constantly having to be “on.” In the sugar world as IRL, if I’m not genuinely into someone, I’d rather not be in an arrangement with them. I just don’t have the energy or desire to fake it.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
Hmmm…I feel that you have to sense and use your best judgement on the appropriate level of appreciation. Whatever that level may be, it should be heartfelt and not forced. Again, I’m not one for manipulating and withholding appreciation simply because I might get something else out of it. But I do love to get playful with a little teasing now and then…
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
Ewww…who wants to be around someone like that? Absolutely not. An arrangement should be mutually beneficial, and I don’t know about you but I’m not gonna willingly put myself in the company of someone with a toxic attitude who is never satisfied. It’s a very unattractive personality trait to have. And, I’m pretty sure that a good spanking isn’t gonna modify that sort of behaviour.
Hope you’re all having a lovely day.
Chairman and I had lunch today, it was very professional. He has my resume and promises to get in touch with me with contacts I should call and drop his name to get an instant-interview. I also had a different job interview today that lasted for FOUR hours and went very, very well. I think it’s a done deal. CEO dude isn’t texting or pursuing any interest in me. It’s the married men who can’t leave me alone, the single men largely lose interest and wander off…. I guess they have something to lose, in their minds (their freedom/independence) whereas the married men have already lost that and can’t get any less single by trying to start up something sexy with me.
(I guess I’ll get into this html thing like everyone else =P )
Gail – ZOMG that’s not too far away. <3 Sav is a blast.
ElegantSugar – The question’s not transposed. It’s asking if you act like the gifts are nothing, will your SD try and impress you more by giving you more stuff.
cleo – Yes there is something to this whole “hard to get” thing. I suggest you watch the movie “The Tao of Steve”. Good chic flick, and it touches on the whole issue.
Thanks for the words, CA Dreamin & NC Gent.
So if the first meet is supposed to be just a test-run on how the relationship could be going, would it be a bad idea if he suggested me flying out to him and enjoying the weekend together? Is that a bit too much for a first meet, or…? Idk, I’m so new at this! haha.
Congrats, Taylor. That’s good news. I think it’s best that you pursue the business contact before trying to pursue any other sort of situation. Sounds like CEO is still interested in playing the field cause if he’d been really into you, he would have not let you out of his sight when you were at the club that evening. And he definitely wouldn’t have let you get away with spending the evening in the arms of another dance partner. Good luck with the job prospects!
Thanks for the clarification, SPup. I think that is just ridiculous. What MAN would do that and be happy? I guess there some out there? I haven’t encountered them yet.
Just catching up with the blog through the monsoon that’s going on here in SoCal.
SDN — I nearly shot Coke Zero out of my nose when I read your “freak in the sheets” comment. I think that’s totally subtle, you should be good! In fact, since you don’t want to be seen in public with them, you might want to add “Wam, bam, thank you Ma’am!” just so they know their role!
nycbella that was my take on that guy as well.
.
jason? i think it might not be the same. like how the gay community has manline and the str8 one has lavalife… i mean that’s too generalised but nonetheless, i wonder a little if it would be different the way we don’t have bathhouses.
damn that isn’t coming out right, do you knwo what i mean?
anyway some sbs have gone on weekend meets with people but generally after taking a lot of care with their safety first. there is a lot of great advice about keeping yourself safe in the older blogs… i think it was even a topic wasn’t it?
Hi Cali SB! Any new yogurt or other foods recommendation? It seems you always have some input that includes delicious food. I feel like I always have to run to the fridge after some of your postings. Ha ha.
Jason, if you read through some of the older blogs, there’s some helpful info about how to handle the situation. However, on a first meet since you are the SB, then I think it’s more appropriate for the pot SD to fly to you. Simply to establish that your level of comfort is a first priority. My pot SD this weekend flew to visit me and it definitely put me at ease and showed that he was serious.
SBJason: I have met most of my pot SDs on trips to other cities. Because I am often in the public eye and well-known locally, I choose to have a long-distance arrangement. I have only gone on these trips ONLY after I had communicated with them both online and via phone and had enough information about them to feel completely safe. They have always booked me my own hotel under MY name room or put me in one of their condos. Cleo is right, there is a blog about safety you can search for.
NYCBella, you’re right. However, the single CEO dude has no idea that any one danced with me in their arms, as he left before I danced with anyone. We were all just dancing around solo on the dance floor and then he had to go to the hospital since the M.D. got anaphylactic shock and went in an ambulance to the ER and he wanted to go along for support… so he has no idea that his colleague put the moves on me later on in the night. Still, if he was into me, he’d want to know when he is seeing me again…..
Playing hard to get definitely gets results. However, I want a guy who finds me all the more charming for being genuine, sincere, sweet, and open-hearted. Those guys might be rare but that type will snatch me up in a heartbeat when he finds me (and if I’m into him too), and I’ll wait around for those rare but right-for-me connections.
Cali SB: Just checked the weather and you are having a serious storm! Wow.
Thankfully I wasn’t drinking anything when I read your post! I like your “Wam, bam, thank Ma’am” line, very poetic. I mightl use that line for my heading or do you prefer “I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock”?
SDN – ME TOO!!! It’s been raining here for 3 days…my dogs are swimming in the back yard
DEFINITELY use the Fred Flintstone heading
CA Dreamin: Thanks for the second on the Fred Flintstone line. I know it probably made you hot for me :O I am a smooth talker.
SDN, baby, you have no idea…
Taylor…you definitely have the right idea going…and there’s plenty of men out there who will appreciate and recognize just how lucky they’d be to have you in their life. It just always takes patience and perseverance (now if only I could remember my own advice…lol).
SDN, I def like the Flintstone’s one…I’m sure you’ll get plenty of attention for that one…hahaha (though just be sure you don’t get attention like NCG…he apparently got a little more than he bargained for)
CA Dreamin…I’m still cracking up over the idea of rodeo/dog/monkey guy!
SDN — Have you heard that Bed Rock song?? “You can call me Flintstone, I can make your bed rock”.. I love that song!!! haha
Elegant — Hey! A friend of mine made soup the other day and it was absolutely delicous! Chicken broth, tomato soup and dash of cayenne pepper for the broth, then cut up chicken, potatoes, carrots, sweet peppers and penne pasta. Sooooo good!!!!!
Ever since my date with a trans-sexual, I always ask my potential SBs if I can see their throat closeup….. I wonder why I don’t get any second dates???
NC Gent – You do NOT!
That is too funny….
Were you wearing a black cape, fangs and speaking in a transylvanian dialect?
NC Gent…ha ha! That could have many, many meanings. I won’t even go there!!
lol Elegant
Grrr I’m so frustrated right now!! My friend’s grandmother passed away this morning and I’ve been trying desperately to find him a flight he can afford to get back for her funeral and the cheapest (LAX to Cleveland) is $604 and probably doesn’t even include tax. I can’t believe that airlines either don’t offer bereavement rates anymore or only give like 5% off the highest rate. He probably won’t be able to afford to go say his final goodbyes.. that makes me so angry.
Ooooh, Cali SB, that soup sounds great and pretty healthy too! (Especially if you use whole wheat penne pasta too!)
lol at NC Gent I remember a few years ago when I worked at a department store, there used to be a person who came in all dressed up in heels, mini skirt, silk blouse, etc. It approached me one evening to ask if we had a certain color of lipstick, his voice threw me off and I remember seeing his adams apple, lol Funny thing is he looked more like a woman than most of the woman that shopped there. They came in in sweats and tshirts, and the such.
Now back to my mattress vacuuming and trying to avoid being squashed as I squeeze between my king size matress and my box springs. lol
Elegant — It’s seriously better than most restaurant soups I’ve ever had! I still have a bowl left in the fridge.. it’s a bout to get devoured!
Afternoon Sugar’s,
I need some advice. Last year I thought I had a pot SD. We sort of ‘bump” into each other. He was emailing me as I was emailing him. Anyway, he seemed like he was interested. He asked me out, gave me his #. Then he had to cancel the “meeting” because of business. Okay. After that I never heard from him. Just now, I was checking the new members and I saw his profile. I know it’s him, I recognize his name. Should I contact him or leave it alone. I don’t have the same profile name as I did last year. Also, I haven’t post any pictures of myself yet, so he won’t know it’s me. Tell me what you think.
NJLady…hmmm…did he ever try and reschedule. Was there anything specific that occurred between your confirming the date and him cancelling?
NJLady — nothing ventured nothing gained, but then again, if he didn’t reschedule with you last time it means he isn’t that serious about you either. If it was me, I wouldn’t email him, but consider what you paid for my advice!
Lisa — this “woman” was actually attractive — kind of scary!
First he said we would meet for drinks then dinner the following week. He set this up. I’m in NJ he’s in NY. The day we were suppose to meet for drinks he did call and explained that he had the fun raiser to go to that night but we could meet for an hour, he said I could meet him near where he worked. I told that I understood we could meet another time since he had something to do. Then I never heard from him. He just signed up today. You know what…I’m leaving it alone! If he respnds to my profile, (then) I will let him know it’s me. Other than that, it wasn’t in the cards.
We’re having hurricane-like rains right now, this is nuts!!!
one – i have an adam’s apple
two – i have strong and capable hands because i use them every day
three – i have compassion
four – a transgendered or transsexual person is NOT AN IT
NOT AN IT
people are gendered as they are dressed, if she is wearing heels and lipstick she’s a she, if she is dressed as a man then of course one would say he
i mean i get that ncg had a shock but not one ounce of compassion for someone in the middle of such an enormous event in their lives? we just make fun of them and call them it?
i’m so offended right now i have no idea when i’ll be back here
NJLady, probably for the best…who knows, he may seek you out again. But no use wasting time over a guy who won’t follow through.
NJLady: I, personally, would not contact him. It sounds like he possibly had his ego hurt that you didn’t make the one hour impromptu ‘meeting’ for drinks. I have encountered SDs who have had the attitude of, “If you don’t want to, someone else will.” – in response to my not wanting to drive 2 hours to meet for one hour at a happy hour bar.
Cleo -
Let me apologize for any offense. Are you transgendered or transsexual? I ask because you say you have an Adam’s apple, but I thought you were a female SB. You’re right, it’s how a person identifies themself, but I think we (yes, I’m including myself) sometimes make assumptions regarding who we’re talking to.
Please don’t leave the blog.
Cleo — I completely understand why you’re offended. I have many gay friends and living in LA I see many transgendered people regularly (hell, I even know of an elderly man who has huge breast implants but lives as a man). I don’t think that NCG’s story was in any way to make fun of the girl he had a date with, I think the laughs were at NCG’s expense, just laughing with him at his own situation. I thought the story was funny, just because I could picture NCG in that situation since I know his personality and image from the blog. I would never laugh at the TG/TS person and of course I feel for what she is going through. I don’t believe Lisa meant to be offensive by saying “it” either, though I completely get why it’s offensive. She even complimented how she looked even more pretty and womanly than the women who came into her store. I think the regulars here know each other’s personalities pretty well and I can’t imagine that you can honestly think that anyone would truly mean offense to any TG or TS person here and I hope that you don’t leave the blog. *hugs*
Cleo…I apologize as well. Cali is right, I was just ribbing NCG because of his unexpected surprise on a date he had. Many of my friends are TS/TG and I would never intend anything to be taken in offense. I do understand how many people haven’t been exposed to alternative lifestyles and as such are still uncertain how to behave when they find themselves faced with something new and unexpected. While empathy is of upmost importance, it is also important for people to be upfront and honest on profiles (which was the point of our discussion on the previous blog). Because, without honesty, there is no foundation for any sort of relationship to develop. There is no extension of trust to be established.
Cleo: I will miss you if you aren’t on the blog.
Cleo — I understand what you are saying, but were was the compassion of the person in not telling me ahead of time and hiding their true sexual gender from me. ALSO, I NEVER called the person an IT as you suggested. If you read closely, you will see I said either her, she, him or he. I have many gay friends and I really don’t give a crap about a person’s sexual orientation. It really just sucked to be shocked like that after having been mislead. I think it sucks to mislead someone no matter what your gender or sexual orientation.
MMMM Sprinkles cupcake!! I only have 2 left now! They’re surprisingly still good since I’ve kept them refridgerated.
oh to clarify – i don’t mean i’m never coming back, i mean i’m taking a day off
ciao bellas
Lighten up Cleo My post was directed to NC Gent about his date.
Of course there are people on the blog that think my neighbors (living off welfare, popping out babies in highschool, not speaking Enlish although they gladly take this countries handouts, and are to blame for most of the crime in my neigborhood) are quality people and I’m the bad person. Of course since i’m a white Repubilican woman who doesn’t take governement handouts, i’m the bad person.
“people are gendered as they are dressed, if she is wearing heels and lipstick she’s a she, if she is dressed as a man then of course one would say he”
Cleo i understand where your frustrations are coming from, but classifying ppls’ gender by how they dress does not exactly make sense… that, too, could be regarded as a close-minded statement.
in any case, we value your comments and advice, don’t go
Cali…I’m sooo jealous! My trainer won’t let me have cupcakes or any kind of indulgence like that right now…I’m drooling over the thought of Magnolia’s…though I’m going to be a good girl. My tuckus will thank me later…lol
Cleo – I am sorry you are offended… I respect people no matter what… transgener or not it makes no difference to me… however I side with NC Gent… it was unfair that she mislead him… I also dont think anyone said “IT” regarding to the transgender person…
NJLady – Nice to see you back! You can try and contact him however he just may think you are desperate… or he may want to reconnect… either way do not get your hopes up
agree with NYC SB about NC Gent. He intended no harm, rather humor. If you remember the film “The Crying Game” you can see how concealment can lead to shock value.
Also, the “It” comment was not by him. I don’t think Cleo really intended to say it was, but I can see how one could have interpreted her comment that way. Hopefully this will all blow over quickly.
NYCBella — That’s why I don’t work out.. too restricting! haha Actually, that’s my favorite phrase “That’s why I don’t work out…” I like to use it when people tell me they sprained their ankle at the gym or have sore arms or something, I always say “That’s why I don’t work out.. too dangerous!”. I really should start working out though, I would like to have more muscle definition again. I have a bunch of Wii workout games (some I got for free), I should try them out! But I could NEVER give up cupcakes! I have way too big of a sugar tooth. I’m one of those people that has to have dessert after every meal, sometimes even AS a meal!
I just need a cupcake with sprinkles and I am good to go! Have a wonderful evening everyone!
I think we ran NC Gent off……..
NC Gent — Sprinkles is a brand of cupcakes, they’re AMAZING. You need to rework your schedule and come to the CA meet so you can have one while you’re in LA! Totally worth it, I promise!
Awww…NC Gent, come back…Cali…funny you should mention it…I was a dancer for nearly 20 years till I blew out my knee…but I’ve now found my new regime which keeps me mostly injury free (pilates, yoga and my all-time fave Pole Dancing!). Though I’ve got a few bruises on the legs and feet and I just noticed a new one on my inner bicep which actually looks like someone grabbed my arm (gotta love concealer!) I highly recommend pole dancing though, cause it’s fun, you learn a sexy little hobby and I’ve never had a true 6-pack till I started doing it. And it’s not just for strippers (I have no intention of pursuing that line of career, though kudos to those who do)…check out Felix Cane…she’s my inspiration in all this!
NYCBella — I’ve always wanted to try pole dancing (as a class, not a job!). A 6-pack sounds enticing! I haven’t had one of those since I played softball/soccer in high school. I’ve also been wanting to take hip-hop dance and Zoomba classes. I need to do some online research to find some places!
There’s a lot of places in LA (atleast that’s what my teacher and I were talking about today, because I need a studio to study at when I’m visiting over there…I’ll be sure to let you know when i find out the locations). You should def try it…only a few months already and I’m noticing dramatic changes in my strength and muscle tone. Hip hop with jazz infusion is fun, though I’ve never tried Zoomba (a gf of mine has and she likes it, but I think it’s more low cal burn than say a salsa or latin dance/ballroom class would be). In pole dance you can burn up to 1000 cal an hour…the only thing I’ve found to rival that is boxing with a bit of martial arts/gymnastics thrown in.
I am wondering right now if my second meet up with my pot SD is even going to happen. Was supposed to be end of this month, meaning already in less than a week, or at the latest, in about ten days, depending on how his work schedule went about now. He’s not keeping me abreast of that, and he writes one line emails on his blackberry, was supposed to call when he woke up today but instead emailed complaining of a chest cold and not enough voice to talk to me, and checks his SA constantly. I’m going to be shocked if I ever see this guy again, based on the gut feeling I have right now.
I am so crestfallen about this, although I’m trying not to be. It’s NSA, right? :/ I think next time I’ll go into this slightly more guarded until at least the second meet-up.
Good Evening sugar family!! I hope everyone had a productive, good day!!
VA SB: Not “feeling” work today.. LMAO!! ME either!
SBJason: I’d suggest that before you fly out to meet him, have an arrangement agreement. Tell him up front, I”m coming to meet you, not sex you. Let him know your rules, YOU are taking the risk of flying. I made a HUGE mistake a few weeks ago, so please, learn from my stupidity. Make sure everything is the way YOU want it. If you feel you are not ready, DO NOT GO! Make sure you are prepared for this whole meet. Learn from these blogs, go back and read. You will learn SO much from the wisdom of experienced SBs on here.
WOW, Cleo got on a soap box. I guess I just never thought about it. I’m kinda biased about TS, being from the mid-west, there just wasnt’ that many of them to be exposed to. It is seen as “odd” and well, uncommon! I did have an experience with one once, she was acting like she wanted to be my friend, then started flirting with me, which really confused me, since I was obviously pregnant at the time, and then I realized she was a he, and I was REALLY confused. Just got creeped out and asked her to please leave me alone.
Cali SB: I was watching Bonnie Hunt, and she had a nutritionist on there. She said if you are trying to loose weight, and need a sugar fix, use the 3 bite rule. Only eat 3 bites, then put it away. Will be enough to satisfy your craving. I think that will work!!
Hello Sugars!
Cleo – You are a very intelligent woman and can understand that some meanings can be misinterpreted in this forum. I hope we see you soon!
Northern CA Sugars – Does anyone have contacts at Emerald Nuts?
SDN – You were in great form today!
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement? It is one of the most important aspect of any relationship.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how? I echo the others in that I observe. I will say that a gentleman’s manners often reflect how appreciative he would be for the long term.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more? I’ve seen women pull off the “b*tch” attitude and have a guy fall at their feet. I wonder if that doesn’t play into the sub/domme preferences. I have no will or talent for playing the b*tch. I do believe that there are many who like the chase and there is a bit of a balance.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book? In very few instances could I imagine that working for the long term.
Cali SB — if you expand the search to surrounding airports he may have to drive some, but a different airport might give better rates. also kayak is a great site for comparing all but southwest.
Cali SB – For short notice flights/stays I find that hotwire gives you the best deals. You might try there and see if you get any better luck.
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement? Very. Right near the top in factors.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
Yes. I sometimes am very generous early on to see if they will try to take advantage. If they do it’s a red flag. Many do, which helps me weed them out.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
No, I don’t think so.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
Short term, maybe. Long term, definitely not. And not OK.
Hi everyone, how’s it going?
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
Appreciation is a key factor in all relationships. It lets them know you care that they took the time to think of you or do something for you and it goes both ways.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
A person’s personality is a big giveaway of what you are getting into, so if you have to give a test, then you probably already know what the answer will be.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
That’s a good question…to each their own I guess.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
No. If someone has a “never satisfied attitude”, it ruins things for both of you because nobody will be happy after a while of dealing with that.
Taylor. I definitely believe in trusting your instincts, but he is making a point to keep in touch rather than just dropping off the face of the earth. You’ll really not know for sure till you meet again (or don’t). Either way, just keep cool, play it by ear and make sure you have fallback plans like a girls night out if things don’t pan out so you’re not sitting at home with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a sappy chick flick and a major pity party; and just keep putting yourself out there…one of my mantra’s is “nothing like a new pot to get your mind off an old pot.”
Yeah…the whole NSA thing…I’m having to decide whether or not to see a pot again simply because I’m concerned about it being able to stay NSA. :/
NYCBella: I feel you on your decision. That is a tough one; I have been there. Is it you that is feeling more attached or the SD? Sorry if you explained this before. I am 3 blog posting new and have to admit when I sign in, I just cannot catch up on every single comment. I try to, but limited on time.
Wow, really quiet tonight. I gotta go. Gotta get up at 5:45, and I’m so not a morning person. Night all, sleep well..
Good night, ESB.
So there’s this very touching commercial by State Farm with the theme song “I’ll be there” by a singer who isn’t here. I just find that ironic. Time to step away from the TV.
This sugar is in need of a long, hot bath and a great massage. Well, the massage will have to wait. Have a great night all!
Cali SB: love your blogs, very insightful and incisive. Maybe see you at the SoCal meet end of February?
Can you see you way clear to welcoming Flo Rida back to the blog? Just say “yes” or “aye” and it’s done. Let’s just get it done . . .
NY Gent – I’ve put my two cents (and more) on the Flo Rida situation before…I wish she’d come back. Her insight was wonderful.
Cali Dreamin: thanks but my comment directed at Cali SB who’s a SoCal girl.
Whoops! Sorry – speaking out of turn! (But I still wish she’d come back!)
So you guys actually steer clear of arrangements with guys you might develop too-strong feelings for? Why aren’t you open to the possibility that perhaps love blossoms, mutually, and the two of you could transform the arrangement into a traditional, serious romantic relationship?
NYCBella — Awesome, please let me know if you find any places here!
ESB — I’m not on a diet or trying to lose weight, thankfully, or I would die with the 3 bite rule! I have no control over my sweet tooth. I would just take 3 bites of everything sweet in my apartment!
Niki/SPup — I found a flight for $272 through Travelocity but it’s out of his budget right now. I feel bad. If I could afford to pay for it, I would, it’s just not in my budget right now either.
NYGent — Thank you. I will be at the meet. I wasn’t aware that you were going, glad to hear! As for Flo, I wash my hands of her/him. I don’t tolerate anyone who blatantly lies, let alone says “f*** you” to fellow bloggers who did nothing offensive or wrong (I’m sorry, calling someone out on their blatant lies is the right thing to do). A real lady doesn’t speak like that (and has no place in this type of an environment of people who are looking for “classy” arrangements) and a real lady has more respect for herself and for others than to ever talk to someone else like that. I don’t associate with people of that low of a caliber and I feel the blog is better off without her or him or whatever persona she/he is playing today. I’m sorry.
In other news.. there is a tornado warning in LA right now! WHAT THE HECK!!
Ok, that came out not as I intended. Anyway….I’m going to take a stab at the questions for a change.
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
Insanely important. I want to see my SDs face light up when he sees me and for him to sound happy when he hears from me. I want to feel the same way too.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
Nope. I look for certain qualities and assume that someone of that intelligence, kindness and charming personality would be wise enough to appreciate me.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
I hope not!
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
Again, I hope not. I can’t imagine wanting to be with someone who didn’t enjoy and appreciate me and everything I offer and I can’t wanting to be with someone I didn’t feel the same way about.
Taylor I am very open to it but don’t put alot of faith in serious relationships anymore. I always thought as I got older, it would be easier but the fact is men my age and older still are not looking for anything lasting. My last boyfriend was 58 years old, adored me, and then dropped me the minute his life situation changed. He purchased a new home and then his grown daughters moved in with him so he sent me an email that he could no longer date because of his situation. I would not be able to stay over because of his daughters. Keep in mind, one daughter is there because her husband beat her up and then burned the house down, and of course insurance doesn’t cover arson. He is in jail and she and her 2 kids have lived with him for 2 years. My ex always bragged that his his daughter had such a good career, so I find it odd that she can’t find an apartment for her and her daughters. The other daughter is unmarried, 22, and has a baby every year by a different guy. Lives with dad, doesn’t work, etc. So my ex boyfriend spends his evenings and weekends babysitting 5 kids while his daughters are out partying. He contacted me a few months ago wanting a booty call relationship. No dinners or dates, just wanted to stop by. I told him maybe we could set up an arrangment, he wasn’t interested. He contacted me again 2 weeks ago wanting to come over to “talk” I suggested an arrangement, he vanished. He keeps contacting me because he can’t really find a new woman since he can’t date and just wants booty calls, so he thinks he will look up an old girlfriend (me). Anyway the guy is 60 now and still not looking for anything serious. So I don’t have much faith in real relationships anymore.
Elegant…it’s kinda vague at this point. I can definitely see myself becoming more emotionally involved than is advisable and kinda wanna cut bait before that happens. But it’s more just a 6th sense that I have going on at this point…I can’t necessarily even put it into words…only that it feels like we’ve each exchanged the “look” of awkwardness about it being a mba versus just dating…though neither one of us wants a traditional “dating” scenario. I’m not one to shy away from dealing head on with an issue or bringing something up if it needs to be dealt with, but I find my ordered thoughts just getting all jumbled when we spend time together…and that’s never a good sign…lol. Of course the minute we’re apart, I’m kicking myself and saying “why didn’t I say this, or that.” Also, I think he reminds me of an xbf too much. And, I do have a pattern for a certain type of guy IRL.
Cali SB: sorry you feel that way, and that strongly.
Based on your comments count me out for the Cali/Socal meet.
Cali SB – Tornado warning? What the heck?!!! Well, it’s warmer and dryer in NY than in LA. Maybe I overpacked. Guess was a good time to get away. The third storm was just rollin in as the plane took off.
Elegant – I’d be happy to exchange notes with you if you like. OC, Desert Bunny, Cali SB and a few others have my email address. Folks, can someone pass that along?
I don’t have time to read the rest of the blog. I will probably just fall behind, but for good cause.
NY Gent – Not to speak for Cali SB, but why does Florida need her approval? I Florida has given me a lot of good advice and I never had any beef with her, but as I recall, she got a little nasty with Cali and OC. Why doesn’t she just come back and apologize to the people she told to F off and anyone else who may have been offended, and let bygones be bygones? Anyhow, sorry to meddle and not trying to be regional, but just calling it as I see it.
Muse: I agree with all your answers. especially the “lighting up” one.
and yes, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If I get screwed by this strategy, and I often do, so be it, I prefer that to being totally cynical going in.
What did Flo rida ever do to be declared “God of the blog”?
Lisa – wow, what a story. So sorry, hon. Well, I guess it is an unavoidable fact in life that people will let you down. However, you shouldn’t lose faith in serious relationships. He just wasn’t the right one. I know I don’t know you and apologies if I’m stepping on toes…but you should never lose faith. I love that feeling of dancing on the razor’s edge when you fall in absolute love! It isn’t something I am looking for now at this point in my life, but I have had it (and lost it) and know in my heart, I want it again someday. (I was talking with one of my pot SDs about this just today.)
Taylor – I think most SBs on the site who have NSA preference have either just gone through a major life change (divorce, separation, etc) or they are married, or perhaps they have another important area in their lives they need to place a ton of focus on (school, new career, kids, etc). Or, they no longer have faith in men because someone hurt them.
Ok, all others, my curious nature has the best of me. Could someone point me in the direction of where I can ’see/read’ the Flo Rida incident?
NYGent~ didn’t Flo choose to leave the blog??? I did ask her in an email to come back… she said she won’t!
She isn’t banned…. That i know of… She told me she would NOT come back… her own choosing…
I wish you would come to the LA meet, I would love to meet you!!!
LASB: I don’t remember who told whom to F—off. I don’t remember who if anyone is more to blame. The whole thing has gotten too petty. All I’m saying is if the girls don’t get it straightened out don’t expect any SD’s (at least me) for the SoCal meet, not interested in that kind of bs.
Midwest – Funny you should mention that… I had a blow out on the interstate… we are all ok, just shook up.
Hope everyone had a better day than me
That cruise is looking pretty good right about now
ElegantSugar: thanks, I’ve just lost interest in serious relationships. I’d love to have one that lasted forever but he would have to really make me feel secure as words don’t mean much. This ex actually wanted me to help him choose a house and showed me pics or houses he liked and I even went with him to shop for household furnishings. He dumped me the week before he moved and I never got to see the house even though months earlier he wanted me to move in with him when he got the house.
Photogirl: So glad you are all ok!! Those are scary.
PLEASE DISREGARD my request to know what happened with Flo Rida. Sounds like a lot of drama. What I don’t know won’t kill me.
I might be in CA end of February visiting friends! Are ALL invited?
The F word should never come from any lady’s lips. Profanity is just ugly and especially coming from a woman.
Hi Muse, NYGent and LASB!!
NYGent – since you are not going to the Cali Meet – perhaps you want to help me plan a Toronto Meet?!?!?!? Come on – you know you want to
It isn’t thaaaat far! 
I, for one, don’t know why Flo was called a liar in the first place?! I could call bullshit to A LOT of things that have been said on the blog – but it doesn’t mean they are not true just b/c I don’t think so. We all live/lived different lives, with different experiences. I have not yet been able to understand this at all. True that Flo lashed out – but why? There was a tone of harshness and judgement for a bit before that towards her…
I do believe Flo brought a lot of spunk, wisdom, and charm to this blog, and definitely think it is missing ’something’ since she has left.
That is horrible, Lisa. But you know, those types of things make us stronger and also help us to have a deeper appreciation for the wonderful people who come into our lives. My dad used to say, “If not for the depths of grief, we would not know the heights of joy.” I think someone famous said it first, but my dad always repeated quotes like that when I was down. I guess that’s why I try to find the positive in everything!
Taz: you are so right and I’d be happy to consider a Canadian meet. Maybe it could be scheduled on a weekend instead of a Thursday to accommodate SDs.
All~
I have held my tongue in regards to that incident you speak of Cali SB. What has happened behind the scenes no one will ever know except for the people involved. You would be surprised at how many sugars lie or stretch the truth on the internet. I do know that confidentiality on the SA blog has been violated.
Flo rida was pissed and stated what SHE FELT is true and happens all the time on the blog. Flo rida is a welcomed sugar sister on the SA blog. So the way I look at it…no need to ask anyones permission : ) BLOG AWAY FLOR IDA!!! BLOG AWAY WITH THE SUGARS THAT ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND THE HELPFUL INFORMATION YOU CONTRIBUTE
If there is a tornado warning in LA…there is one here too!!!
And if I you do not hear from me after this….or this is deleted…I have been ban ned or on long term mod er a tion.
Love your nickname, TT! Cute, cute.
Gail: Right on.
NYCBella: Your little story is actually quite endearing. That’s a tough call. I guess listen to that inner-voice and go with your gut, girlfriend! What’s the worse that will happen?
Wow…I’m sorry all of you, but as a new blogger here, I feel like I just stepped into KinderCare.
ElegantSugar~ I don’t know why people are getting mad…. Flo made a choice… I wish she would come back,,, I asked her… but she said “No”!
Where are you from?
Hi Gail
Beach_Girl: I am a Florida girl, but spend quite a bit of time in NYC too. What about you?
ElegantSugar~ I’m in Montreal!
photogirl is in Florida…
Hi Lisa~ how are you?
Hi Beach_Girl doing ok. Had 2 great days off, have to work the next couple days
NY Gent…..I thought you were going to do a Northern Cali meet… I will hold out for that one after my trip back from the East Coast. It is so much closer than southern Cali for me. NC Gent and I were talking about wine country.
Yasmine….I just saw Mr. Cooper on tv : ) Has he taken the place of your #1 SD…Steve Wynn? lol…..
Lisa…the F word….you mean FUN right?….(smile)
Photogirl….Are you okay? I worry when things like that happen…I had a blowout on the freeway, both tires of my cars, one side only, on a beautiful summer day. I ran over two waving wings of a dead bird, so it’s poor little bones punctured my tires : (
Ok, everyone in SugarLand…I’m off to run on the treadmill for a bit, shower, finish packing and then up at 5:00 a.m. to head out on a 3-day Sugar trip! Sweet, sugary dreams everyone!
Psssst….I hope you all kiss & make up while I’m gone. We’re SUGARS here, not SOURS.
Night, night.
Cali SB – A simple yay or nay would have sufficed. I agree that all parties spoke harshly and inappropriately. That said, it is not up to any one person to determine who does or does not “belong” here. We are all here to share experiences. What I saw was speculation running wild. I know that others have agreed to let bygones be. I know that she made efforts to reach out to you. It’s a shame when someone doesn’t feel welcome in a public forum. At this point, I hope she does realize that the majority of us welcome her input.
On a more sugary note, I have a dream date with SD. Goodnight to all. Peace, love and sugar.
Gail no I wasn’t thinking fun, but ok, I meant fun, now excuse me while I start singing the Spongebob song about FUN, lol
NYGent – That’s because you and I have our priorities straight.
**disclaimer: above comment is not intended to imply that anyone on here doesn’t.**
If anyone is interested, I was thinking of a NoCal meet – I was trying to shoot for the week of March 8 but that might be too close to the SoCal meet. Still – if anyone is interested – let me know!
midwest: you are such a font of wisdom. all i asked for was a simple “let bygones be bygones” statement to get us over the pettiness and instead got a rant. Then other SBs supported the rant. Let them meet together in SoCal, or wherever, hope they have fun. I for one won’t be there.
Gail, yes, a NorCal meet is still a concept, I hope to make it happen and hope you can make it.
Photo- sorry to hear and I hope you are well. That’s not something you get to fix easily…unless you have two spares. Let me come down there and I will bring you another spare
I’m all for a NorCal meet. I spent a few days in Napa in August and it was spectacular. I also enjoyed the drive down the PCH stopping at Carmel and Monterey on the way to LA. I wasn’t crazy about LA, but we didn’t stay long enough to take it all in.
Hi Beach :-X
Ok..now I really am off to dreamland.
NYGent — I’m sorry you feel that way. The only thing I ever said was that it seemed a little fishy that whatever that fake SD that Flo made up’s posts were the same format and style as Flo’s posts and Flo even posted as that SD under her name and said “oops, I meant to post as if I was in his shoes” and then later said that she and the SD were on some Amazing Race like trip and were posting from her phone and that’s where the confusion was. That’s all I ever said about it. I just pointed it out, never personally attacked anyone. Never have, never will. I have not gotten into any “petty bs” as you call it, even when she told me to “F off” (if you forget that she said that, please feel free to go back and look). I have always been the bigger person by ignoring it, not speaking about it on the blog even when others have, and certainly never using profanity to or about her. She chose to leave the blog, I didn’t force her to leave, neither did OC or anyone else. I don’t control who posts on the blog, nor do I care, I just have no desire to associate with someone of that low of a caliber and who conducts themselves in such a vulgar manner. If she were to post, I would ignore her posts and talk to everyone else as normal. I don’t call that petty at all, I call that having respect for myself (sorry but I’m not going to just let someone use the most vulgar word in our language and be okay with it) and respect for the other bloggers here. What I call petty is emailing everyone and their mother asking them to contact me about it and yet being too little of a person to make an apology for yourself (her not you). I see absolutely nothing wrong with how I have handled the situation, and frankly I don’t think there is a “situation” at all because I said nothing more but point out her lie/inconsistancy, it’s not affecting my life. The fact that you don’t want to come to the CA meet because I have respect for myself and can properly handle situations is unfortunate and, forgive me for saying, a little petty.
Gail — I have no doubt that much was said “behind the scenes” because some girls are petty like that, but I can guarantee that it wasn’t me doing that talking. I am a truthful person and pride myself on that (I can’t even exaggerate on a job resume!). I have not once spoken ill of Flo behind her back (I say nothing behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t say to them). In fact, I haven’t even talked about any of this with anyone until a few days ago when I got an email from someone on the blog asking me if it was okay to give someone else my email to pass along to Flo. I declined and gave my reason, not nearly as long as just stated to NYGent. I was asked twice more within the past 2 days by one other person and again declined. Nothing was said in those emails that I didn’t just mention here, in fact, much more was just said here.
Frankly, I’m a bit annoyed right now about this whole situation. Why is this my fault at all? I mean honestly. I called someone out on their lie and said nothing else. That person flipped their lid and said very vulgar things to myself and others and somehow I am now the bad guy because I hold some inanimate power to keep her from the blog? Do you realize how stupid that sounds? I never asked her to leave, she left on her own. All I ever said was to point out that she was making up an SD, and I was right. Seriously, this is absolutely ridiculous. This is a public internet forum, not 6th grade recess.
NYGent~ I wasn’t supporting any Rant , just saying what Flo told me many many times, she doesn’t want to come back.. I wish she would come back… I agree that it’s petty!
I don’t know why you are getting mad…
We should all be able to share and take what we need from all of the bloggers…No matter if you like them or not… This is a public place for Sugars to share…We all have different personalities and we should all accept each other for what we are..
Good bye All…
ElegantSugar….definately not kindercare : ( just sincere care for a fellow SB.
Muse…nice disclaimer…(smile)
Oh no….Brown just won the Massachussets election…. : (
I am turning off the computer…off the internet…going back to the real world….Good nite sugars!!!
Sorry Gail have to disagree with you on this one
Oh no….Brown just won the Massachussets election
us right wingers are gaining control 
Goodnight everyone, gotta get up at 6 am
BG — Yeah, it sounds to me that not only did Flo like to cause drama ON the blog but now she’s causing it OFF the blog. It’s really unfortunate because this is a place for people to come to get and give help, and even just make friends. It doesn’t help any of us when people lie and make up fake personas (SB’s or SD’s). I have done everything in my power to stay out of her drama after pointing out her lie, but clearly she needs the attention and somehow managed to manipulate people into forgetting what actually happened. I’d ask anyone to please feel free to go back and read the actual blog in question and read the facts before you support lies and drama. It’s unfortunate that I even had to waste 5 minutes of my life writing this and the last 2 posts because I haven’t concerned myself with her or that situation at all since the first and ONLY thing I ever said, which was to correctly point out her lie. I’ve said all I have to say and talking about this any more is deminishing what this blog was created for and what I come here for.
Cali~ Flo didn’t say anything to me off the blog… Nothing about you or anyone else!
I just wish people would get along, if you don’t like someone skip their posts! We are all here to share!!
it looks like a bunch of ppl have gone to bed, i should have posted this earlier! i have my first meeting with a pot sd tomorrow morning and i’m so nervous!!!! even though we both stated our location as the nearest major city, he’s doing me a favour by coming to my city so that i don’t have to take the bus… but the thing is, i’d rather take the bus than risk being “found out” by anyone who knows me here. at the risk of sounding ungrateful, i agreed and we’ll be meeting for coffee. we’ve sent a few e-mails back and forth, mostly just setting up this meeting, but from the little i know about him, he seems nice. he is also new at ‘arrangements’ and suggested a pay per meet of $300….. thoughts anyone??????
I didn’t see Midwest’s post, so unfortunately I had another to reply to even though I said that was my last. Sorry.
Midwest — I gave my feeling of the situation. I didn’t say “yay” or “nay” because I don’t have the power to control who blogs, nor would I want to. I never said who does or doesn’t “belong” here. I don’t care who blogs, I just don’t associate with people with no self-respect or respect to others. I never got “harsh” or “innappropriate”. Please feel free to go back and read the blog and let me know where you think I did, because you won’t find it. There was no “speculation running wild”. Again, go back and read that blog. Flo ADMITTED that she was posting for this so-called SD after first swearing to the high heavens they weren’t the same person. Flo made efforts to reach me by you emailing a SD on the blog and asking him to ask me to give you my email to give to her. That’s ridiculous. I don’t give out my email to just anyone and don’t want everyone having it and she has no need to have it. She felt the need to talk vulgarly to me in a public forum, then she can apologize in a public forum. It’s that simple, she is not a child, if she wanted to apolgize so badly she could have figured it out. She has no need to have my email address, only a handful of bloggers have it. As I have said numerous times, I care not about the situation as it makes not the slightest difference in my life, I just choose to not associate with someone who talks to others in that manner now or ever, apology or not, I have more self-respect than that.
Various SBs: I respect your decision to not want to “make up” and to continue to stick to your “principles.” Please respect my decison to decline to attend your SoCal meet.
BG — I didn’t say she did say anything to you through email. Gail suggested things were said, and I know they weren’t by me. That post was only directed at you because you said that Flo told you she doesn’t want to come back. And as I said in my previous post, I don’t care who posts. If she posts, I will ignore her (i.e. skip her posts, not reply to her posts) because someone of that low a caliber is not worth associating with. I have already said this. I’m tired of repeating myself.
It’s absolutely ridiculous that I should even have to defend myself against people supporting someone who would talk so vulgarly to another blogger who merely POINTED OUT HER LIE.
Kiki – there are various thoughts for/against pay per meet arrangements. If you can do a search, there was a specific blog that asked the question. You’ll definitely get some good insight.
It’s too bad things are a little tense on the blog tonight. Hopefully it will settle soon. It’s hard enough trying to “live” the sugarlife, we shouldn’t be at each other’s throats….even if that wasn’t the original intent.
On a lighter note (I hope), are there only three of us getting together in DC for drinks? Aren’t there any other SBs in the DC/MD/VA area who want to come out with us and have some good times….? I think it’s going to be a blast. Maybe we’re just in a bad location or maybe we’re “unknowns”, but if any SBs or SDs want to come and hang out, we really wish you would. It’s always fun meeting new friends.
Soooo, if you “are” interested, ask Stephan for my email address….Stephan please feel free to share….Thanks!
Photo–Sorry to hear about your blowout, but I’m glad you’re okay. Your and Beach’s cruise idea sounds very nice.
NYC SB,
Thanks. I’m not to contact him. When or if, he sees my picture up, it’s his decision if he wants to contact me or not.
Niki~ Hey girl!!! how are you?
Yes a cruise sounds amazing right now , doesn’t it? it’s so cold here!
Did you get the photos?
Yeah, I would sooooo go on a cruise. I love them, even for a few days. I had hoped to go on another one this year, but the finances just aren’t there. It’s my son’s senior year and I wanted to take him for his senior gift, but alas, that is not to be. I’ll have to figure something else out.
NYGent — There is nothing to “make up”. I don’t care what anyone else does, but I will not associate with someone who says “F— you” to me. I have more self respect than that. I would never be able to say “F— you” to someone for absolutely no reason and expect for them to talk to me again. Me reading/replying to any of Flo’s future posts doesn’t affect your life and I have never talked about her on the blog so I can’t fathom how this could possible affect your life, especially when it’s not affecting mine (except for having to type these ridiculous and useless messages). If she doesn’t want to post because I am never going to read or reply to her posts, then that is stupid — even more stupid than this already is. I’m sorry you feel so compelled by someone talking so vulgarly to someone else (who did absolutely nothing to deserve it) to defend them and not go to a friendly meet because of that.
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
Very important. The whole point is to provide for someone who shows her appreciation.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
I don’t test them per se. I provide and see if they appear appreciative or if it seems like they feel entitled to be given to. In the first case, my giving will be reinforced, and in the latter case, I will dump them pretty quick. The worst is if an SB keeps nagging for more than what was agreed.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
In the short time maybe, but definitely not in the medium to long run.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
Again, in the short term it might have worked when I was less experienced. Now, they’d get just a little at the beginning and be dumped quickly if they are never happy.
IRLSD — Thought you disappeared!
Cali SB…Way too much information for me. Some things are best left unsaid. Who controls the blog?…..Posting on the blog is kinda like politics. You don’t want to piss the wrong person off. I have already been there and done that…lol…
Yaaaaay!!!! A Northern Cali meet : ) I would like warm weather : )
CaliSb: i don’t think it appropriate for you to be using the “lie” word so casually and frequently. It is a slanderous statement and should be used with more care and evidence. There are many, many “stories” on this blog that are, shall we say, suspect, from exaggeration of SB/SD “successes,” and fictitious “pots,” to anonymous bloggers pretending to be somebody that they aren’t, to people reappearing under new names when it’s obvious they are former bloggers with a “nom de plume.” It is just part of the territory, and I’ve given up trying to separate the truth from the “lies” and am very hesitant to accuse people of the latter. If all of us called each other “liars” every time we disagreed with or were aggrieved by something they said, or doubted their stories, there would be little left to the blog. I personally discount about 40-50% of what is said on the blog, and try to benefit from the nuggets of truth that the majority of bloggers, who I trust, put forth. Just my view, so feel free to reject everything I say.
Beach I’m great. How about you? It’s finally getting warmer here, but not quite warm enough. Yeah, I got the pictures–thanks…they’re great.
Gail — I agree. Honestly, I don’t care at all. I haven’t said a word about the entire thing and was never harsh or mean, on or off the blog. I just feel very attacked when I did nothing wrong and haven’t said a word. It’s very unfair to me and I don’t deserve to be treated like trash to begin with and then treated like I’m the bad guy now. I’ve been ignoring the whole thing and plan to continue to do so regardless of if she posts or not. I just also don’t deserve to be attacked for being the bigger person and ignoring everything, so I needed to say my peace and get the facts straight because clearly they were muddled somewhere. I don’t believe that posting a defense should “piss off the wrong person”, but I would be completely happy if all of the posts regarding the Flo situation were deleted so we can continue to blog as normal, as things have been.
NYGent — A lie is a lie is a lie. Saying it is not a lie doesn’t make it any less a lie. As a lawyer, you should know this.
Holy drama! Just popped on for a minute and I’m like, wow!
Back to sugar talk, thank you.
So the pot date that I had on Sunday, who wanted me to drop my life an become his new bff and live-in gf… I wimped out and sent him an email to let him know that it wouldn’t work. I know, email rejections suck, but I’m so bad at doing it live. I tried to be honest and direct, not rude at all, and let him know that I both appreciated and respected his honesty in letting me know what he wanted and hoped to have with me, but that I just couldn’t be that person for him. Bottom line, I want something with ALOT less pressure and long term commitment when getting to know someone.
Is it mean or too impersonal to send an email rejection versus phone or meeting face to face after you’ve met a pot? Bear in mind that I did not accept any money or gifts from him, and we only had one dinner date.
Ok, shugs…going to call it a night…it’s a “Ladies who Lunch” day tomorrow, followed by trip to salon, dance class and then meeting a new pot SD! Ah, this crazy merry-go-round that is our little bowl…sweet dreams, luvs…
Niki~ I’m good… you should get my email from Midwest or SDN or something… would be great to catch up!
I did have a great time and i am glad i got to meet you! you are too sweet!
Geez. I can’t stay away. Just finished my run and stopped to ‘look’ again before showering. (I’m addicted to the SUGAR BOWL! Aaaahhh…)
Kiki: As VA SB stated, do the search and read all the feedback. After that, at the end of the day, remember you and your SD are the only ones who BOTH need to feel comfortable with your arrangement. If the “pay per meet” feels too transactional to you and not what you are looking for by signing up, be honest with your pot SD and tell him so. You two obviously had enough of a connection to meet so it seems you should be able to communicate your feelings. Since he is new in this arena as well, you two can probably (hopefully) create your own little happy sweetness! Communicate! Communicate! Good luck and keep us posted.
I’m really hopping in the shower now! G’night!
Will do…it’ll be fun to catch up and keep in touch. I’m glad too and so are you.
Kiki~ I agree with ElegantSugar… you and your pot SD are the only ones who need to be comfortable with your arrangement!
Good luck tomorrow!
IRLSD you have been missed
STEPHAN – Can you please pass along my email to ElegantSugar? Or anyone else who has both our emails… I did not realize she was in Florida!
For those who asked, THANK YOU… yes we are fine. Could have been much worse!
And technically, it would be libel. As I said, you are more than welcome to go back and read the other blog. I don’t care to do so, but you will find that if you do there is sufficient evidence to prove “lying”. First by saying she was posting as if she was in his shoes, then by saying she was posting for him on an Amazing Race style adventure (what’s the name of what they supposedly did anyway? I for one would love to look up the details and do one myself, and if it happened there should be details available to prove it wasn’t a lie, right?). I believe it was even said she didn’t know him and then she was sitting next to him in the car. I don’t remember for sure, but you can check it out if you want. Point is, not all of the things said could plausibly and feasibly be the truth, so at least one of those things must then be a lie.
I’m going to go enjoy time with my friends, I absolutely hate negativity and have no place for it in my life (which is why I have ignored everything said about this situation for the past month or however long it’s been). Sugar is about fun and carefree and some people are turning this into something other than that and it’s really unfortunate.
Hi OC! And bye.. be back later!
Photo — is there bad weather in FL??? What would not be fine?
Hola Miss Cali SB hope you aren’t going outside! It is dark and ugly out there. The storms are still brewing Bwahhha! Scary!
All right everyone – this has been fun, but the topic has died down. Hope everyone has a great night. Talk to you tomorrow. Ciao!!
Uncommon: (Just my opinion here….)
I think the mode of communicating the rejection is all dependent upon your comfort level and how you two communicated prior to the (seemingly ‘awkward’) date that brought you to a point of having to make a decision. If you both used email to communicate frequently before you had to make a decision, then I think it’s perfectly normal. And the bottom line is, you made a decision and let him know the truth without stringing the situation along so I think that is the most important action you took.
Good Nite VA SB. Sweet Sugar Dreams
Yes, would LOVE photogirl’s email address!!! Hip East Coast girls unite! (a la David Lee Roth) Yay!
CaliSB: I agree a lie is a lie. And as a lawyer I try to look at evidence. Like you I was initially a skeptic about ‘Flo Rida’s “cross country driving” story with NewBie, sharing a computer, etc.. It seemed bogus, I admit. But to several of us (apparently not you) she produced documentary evidence that, at least to this blogger, seemed persuasive and authentic and caused me to reverse course and accept her Newbie story. I guess if you haven’t seen it you can’t comment and can be excused for your healthy skepticism . But to me it just points out the fact that calling somebody a “liar,” before all the evidence is in, is imprudent. Maybe the whole thing is fabricated, and maybe Flo Rida is not all she claims to be, but this lawyer is humble enough to admit that i was maybe I was wrong the first time and , details aside, Flo Rida’s “basic” story was “true” and not a “lie.” If somebody proves otherwise, I will stand corrected.
We can’t place people on the blog under oath, so there will always be uncertainty about their stories. I just don’t think it productive to be flinging around “liar” accusations left and right.
Elegant Sugar I agree with you. I think that Uncommon had a very uncomfortable communication situation and at least she let him know her feelings and decision.
Uncommon SB sugar hugs to you for giving closure.
haha… no the weather here is lovely! Although I think that NYGent to a bit of the warmth back with him!
The highway and tires however were not a good mix for me tonight!
ElegantSugar~ Can I have your email too???
OC can you send me Elegant’s email??? Please
thanks to everyone who replied to my query — i’m off to bed, i’ll let you know how it goes
night all!!
CaliSB: just to be clear, I applaud you for pointing out the holes in the story and how not “everything” could be true. I don’t doubt that you have (in a very lawyerly fashion) exposed some inconsistencies. But I’ve never, in 30 years, encountered a witness who told 100% of the truth and couldn’t be tripped up in some inconsitency. It doesn’t make them a “liar” generally speaking. It just means they’re human and shade things from time to time. We all do.
Kiki~ Have fun and go with you gut! it will be fine
Have a good night, let us know how it went!
Good Night Kiki
Just take a deep breath. He is most likely nervous too!!!
Yes, I am very open to sharing my email address with the regulars on here. I have been somewhat of a ‘lurker’ for a while before deciding to hop on and post so although I am NEW to all of you, I actually feel I know some of you from reading past blogs. I have wanted to hop on for a while, but didn’t want to until my previous arrangement officially ended and I re-entered the ocean of sugar seeking a new SD. My intent is to share my feedback as an experienced SB to new SBs and then to also learn from other experienced SBs and SDs.
Really and truly stepping away now! Haven’t even packed. Egads.
May visions of Sugar Daddies/Babies dance in your heads…
Elegant Kisses
xoxo
Hi Beach! I can send yours to her. But she would have to give the ok for hers to be sent out.
BTW I sent a note to Desert Bunny tonight. I will let you know what I find out
Elegant~ good night girl
OC~ how you been? sorry forgot to say hi before sorry sugar, can you forgive your Canadian French sister?
OC ~ meant to day, your Blond French Canadian Sister!
oh my I can’t type, meant to Say! hahha
I could never be upset with my Canadian Sister! Catching up on my emails still. What a slow poke I am.
2Chic: I want an update!!! ha-ha
Elegant Nit’e nit’e sugar. Keep in touch
OC~ I mailed Desert Bunny too… but no news! I wish i knew more…
Cali – I was hoping to facilitate peace…not to offend. Ask OC her thoughts and I hope she would concur. Methinks thou does protest too much.
NYGent – The one strength you complimented her for a few days ago will now force this conversation into greater depths than necessary. Join me for a cocktail?
Uncommon – E-mail is not my favorite form of communication, but it does make the bad news a lttle less dramatic. I wou;dn’t worry too much about it. Has he replied or just let it go?
I know I’ve said it before…Goodnight and sugar dreams!
midwest: absolutely a cocktail. and you are indeed a peacemaker.
Cheers to all with a nice Syrah…*clink*
Hi Midwest
OC: HI
Really, REALLY going!
Midwest Mistress of the Dark ~ Meow… good night … Prrrr!!!
Midwest: don’t worry, you didn’t say anything “wrong.” Don’t let anybody suggest otherwise.
Uhhhh, what happened while I was away? I feel like I stepped into a verbal women’s BYU v. New Mexico soccer game. Let us just let cooler heads prevail. Coming from a gal who has Sicilian blood flowing through her veins, let us just not keep going there. Attack- counter-attack, this neither “breaks our legs, nor picks our pockets” (brownie points if you know where that came from) so let’s fughetaboutit. This kinda stuff sends boys running for the hills ladies. All is well. Carry on.—
I have written in to get some advice. I play a sport. I used to play this sport with a group of guys, who I hang out with sometimes. Call me an attention whore, but I love being the only girl. I went to watch “Joe” and his brother, Ted was there. Never met Ted formally but when we went out for drinks after, Ted was trying to get my attention. He obviously has a crush on me and IM’d me through FB today. He invited me to come hang out w/ him and his Joe to watch Kings game at a bar w/ another common guy friend, Bob, in the group and I declined. I got a text from Bob also inviting me (Bob is not trying to hit on me) to come out. He might be trying to fix me up w/ Ted. I told Bob that I couldn’t make it because I had a date. Ha! That is you guys and some laundry. Well, this makes me nervous and uncomfortable, because I am not interested and it is too incestuous for me. What should I do? If he asks me out I don’t even know how to reject him. I’m terrible at this stuff. I don’t want to look callous in front of my guy friends either.
Is there a sugar reset button anywhere for the blog? Somebody? Anybody?
No mas, nicht mehr, pas plus, no piu.
hmm SBnxtdoor.. it’s a tough one. i kinda do the same thing: if i think i know what might happen, i avoid that social situation all together. but think of the fun you’re missing by not going out with the guys! if i were you, i’d think of a light, playful blow-off ahead of time just in case ted asks you out, and hopefully, since you let him down easy and with tact, there would be no hard feelings amongst the group. i’m not sure what you could say… i’m so awkward :S maybe something like “i’ve got so much going on right now i don’t even know if i could fit a date in my schedule!” like i said, i’m not good at these things!! haha… but i’m sure someone here will have a suggestion. ok.. so now i’m actually going to bed – i swear!
although you did tell bob that you had a date… so maybe something like “i’m casually seeing someone at the moment.. ”
NIGHT!!!!!
is it me or is this site just not working out for me at all?
Grrr…I can’t sleep.
SBNextDoor. A guy friend of mine gave me the best advice several years ago for how to let someone know you aren’t interested in them. If he asks you out, simply look him square in the eye and sincerely say. “Thank you, but I’m just not interested.” Men respond so much better if you’re direct and to the point. Oh, and don’t make any big deal about it…just play it off as if he asked you if you wanted mustard for your burger. And, voila…things will be back to normal and you’ll be just “one of the guys” in no time. If you go the route of making excuses or saying you’re “seeing someone else” it won’t be an absolute “No.” Which means he might still pursue you, and then things will only get more awkward. After the first time I used the “I’m just not interested” phrase (which I was so nervous and unsure of), and saw how effective it was to be blunt and up front, I’ve found it soooo easy to navigate the waters of unwanted suitors. Good luck!
NYGent said
“There are many, many “stories” on this blog that are, shall we say, suspect, from exaggeration of SB/SD “successes,” and fictitious “pots,” to anonymous bloggers pretending to be somebody that they aren’t, to people reappearing under new names when it’s obvious they are former bloggers with a “nom de plume.” It is just part of the territory, and I’ve given up trying to separate the truth from the “lies” and am very hesitant to accuse people of the latter. If all of us called each other “liars” every time we disagreed with or were aggrieved by something they said, or doubted their stories, there would be little left to the blog. I personally discount about 40-50% of what is said on the blog…”
AMEN TO THAT!!!!!
Believe me guys, not everything that is being said on this blog is true….Some people just loooove to over-exaggerate their experiences so they could feel important or seem more successful in the sugar world than others. Ex: I could start saying tommorrow that I have found a multi-millionaire SD who showers me with $$$$ and takes me on expensive shopping sprees and has my closet overflowing with designer clothes or shoes, takes me around the world, introduced me to the Pope blah blah blah when I know damn well none of it is true. How the hell can you all verify that only 20% of that is the actual truth??? After all, this is a blog, and no one knows what REALLY goes on in people’s real lives! Calling a blogger “liar” this or “liar” that will only transform the blog into a war zone.
If someone feels like they want to come to the blog and feed us with lies about their SB/SD life then LET THEM! If that’s what floats their boats then fine!!! lol
, If you feel they are “stretching” the truth……SKIP THE POST! 
lol
If you dont like someone’s posts just skip it
AYE for Flo’s return!
Gail~ No Steve Wynn is not my dream SD……I DREAM of WORKING for the man because he is a visionary and he has accomplished amazing things with his resorts and other business ventures but I dont see myself being intimate with him…..Just not my type….lol Just being real
( I hope he is not reading this LOL)
Oh and yeah Cooper is my hero! I just hope he doesnt get hurt doing his job in Haiti….
Oh also…..Cleo you are coming back right??
I am interested in a NoCal meet! I live in Oregon so that would be easier for me to attempt. Any other Oregonian sugars?
Is being an Oregon resident a bad thing?
NYGent – let’s do this – I am sooo down!! Anytime – weekend works great for me and I am sure many SB’s!
Elegant – the name is kind of a joke that started late night on the blog one night…and continued a bit and it stuck til I can think of something better
It is a partnership with Naughty Molly and Alluring Anna…only I don’t have sisters 
Gail – you hit it on the head – wise sugar! I hope I am around to know you better
I was going to leave this alone – I stated my opinion – but I do have to be clear here. Yes everyone has FREEDOM of choice but to all sugars avoiding/ignoring/or trying to put the blame on Flo – you cannot make someone feel so unwelcome and then say it is their free will. To be honest reading this I was saddened with much of the apathy and poison and really don’t know if this fam is for me.
CaliSB – I like you – I like everyone on the blog b/c they are unique and ANYONE who posts has something to offer someone, if not you, or me personally. NYGent is upset b/c no one should feel alienated when we are all here to support each other. He is passionate about another person’s feelings and human RIGHTS – he did not attack you at all. Not sure if it was you or not, but definitely a California SB – when they first joined the blog had some problems with violence with their ex – I do recall this was about a month before you say she lied. Anyhow – Flo gave nothing but compassion and if I do remember correctly very valuable info to the sb in need. I don’t think what she has gotten in return after helping so many is called for. Perhaps this lady you speak so harshly of has really been THERE and DONE that…she certainly has a WEALTH of knowledge to back up such a ‘farce’. Perhaps then it can be true, even if it has not been something that has been true to you?
Is a simple let bygones be bygones that hard? NYGent did not lash out at you. How did anything that took place so competely offend you in the first place? Maybe I am completely out of the loop and there is more to it, but as far as I can see she is defnitely a strong personality and obviously threatening to many, especially those that are insecure, however she is also a compassionate and real human being that should be treated as one. I would not have anyone crucified for what one ‘thought’. Who are we to judge? I do believe labeling someone a liar is not what the blog was created for either…just b/c it is not YOUR reality does not mean it is not HERS.I don’t see how you could KNOW anything about Flo or the situation that took place…except for what YOU saw. The perception that YOU had. Until you have seen it from many perspectives it is not very sugary to call someone a liar on one closed minded perspective alone.
Just for one moment imagine that your perspective is different and everything Flo said was in fact true. We are all unique and her reaction was not the same as yours of course, but you can’t understand where she is coming from? How NOT being accepted for who you are is alienation? How she would NOT FEEL WELCOME!? Everyone – really?!?!Where we are ALL supposed to be a family? Did you know that accusing someone of something that is FALSE is more damaging and hurtful than accusing someone of something true? Perhaps that was why her reaction was so strong?? If I was accused in that manner, I would not feel welcome either – public forum or not. NYGent did not ask you to associate with her right now. He was just asking for a little sugar towards a fellow SB. She is not even here to defend herself and you are calling her out? Taunting her it seems. Your attacks are outlandish, she was trying to resolve this OFF the blog. You were the only one who was not being sugary. B/c of that this blog IS being poisoned – not in PRIVATE as FLo asked for, as you said, many times now…
As humbly as I can say this – you are not being the bigger person by ignoring everything. You are not even giving her a chance. You are avoiding it b/c maybe…just maybe – she IS telling the truth. You called the girl a liar in a sugar forum. She said F*@# you. You won’t talk to her now when she is trying to reach out to you? It was ok to acknowledge her to make her feel alienated though? Am I truly missing something – do the two of you know each other IRL? Is there some crazy grudge here? You seem to be taking it pretty intensely to ignore someone who asked for a bit of your time, but claim you do not care. You can be HATEFUL enough to call her a liar over and over, and still not give her your time after you have trashed her vehemently? You claim Flo is TRASH now b/c she used the F-bomb? Really?? I use it quite often myself. Does that also mean I am trash? Class is much more than the words we speak. It radiates from within. It is in one’s essence – not their outward projection of ‘masks’. I find it interesting you accuse her the way you do – we often look for the faults in others we see and deny in our own selves.
CaliSB – reading further – you cannot recall the details? You called someone a liar without first knowing, or at least asking for verification? That being said Flo has provided MANY bloggers with ample evidence I am sure – she sent it to me but I felt disgusted at the thought of someone thinking they have to PROVE themselves to me. And never opened the attachments. I am sure she would like to offer you the same opportunity, but you are not open to maybe admitting that you could have been a bit quick to judge IMHO…which obviously does not seem so humble anymore
In that this blog is titled SUGAR APPRECIATION – could we ALL not let bygones be bygones and appreciate each other ALL as unique and wonderful sugars??!
That is my 0.02 – take it or leave it. I suspect most will follow the flock.
I haven’t decided if I want to be here on the blog, even if I am allowed back. I have never felt such a vibe of UN-sugary – even on my very worst sugar disaster
Uncommon – I would opt for email in ‘most’ situations myself. Depends what you feel most comfortable with
And I suppose how “close” the two of you have become…
Yaz!,,,, I love you!!!
Very well put…..clapping.
As I was reading (catching up) your words expressed my thoughts to the T.
Taz, you BETTER not leave this blog!!!!….
If everyone keeps letting the negative control them, it wil bring an end to what has been a positive and nurturing haven. Obviously the blog does more good than harm. For that very reason, we should never let the negativity of a few affect this positive environment for many. There’s so much more good than bad on this blog. Never forget why we are here, to help each other as a family. Just like any family; some will disagree, but we do not walk away from the entire family because of the negativity of a few. I am also speaking to all my Sugar sisters who are sitting out. Stand for the greater good of this blog. Never give up your power to do good due to negativism in people, situations, or events. If you do, you have given that person, or thing the power to control you.. This my dear,… is negative, choose the greater good. It totally outweighs the bad.
2Chic – my girl – I HEAR you – trust me I do. But will not contribute in a space where people are made to feel horrible and forced away from something. Have you noticed I haven’t been around so much since it all happened?? I can’t pretend everything is ok when people have been so mean…and feel JUSTIFIED in doing so.
OC — I just saw the 10 o’clock news replay. There was a tornado in Huntington Beach today!! Is everything okay down there?! My driveway keeps flooding up to the bottom of my car door, I’m afraid that when it rains harder tomorrow I won’t be able to leave my apartment because my car will flood out. Figures, I have a job interview tomorrow! Oh and just now the news said there was a small earthquake tonight here. haha Perfect. Armaggedon anyone??
NYGent — That was my point. I’m not saying EVERYTHING she said was a lie, I’m just saying that it’s not possible for everything she said to be true. Seriously, it doesn’t make a difference to me, it never once affected my life, I just pointed out the inconsistancies in the story, that is all. Not once did I say anything derogatory or mean, I just said it was fishy and pointed out the similarities in grammar and message composition and let it go at that. It was absolutely not justified for her to tell me or OC “F— you”, however, and that is the reason I don’t care to converse with her at all. That’s what my issue is with her, not the fact that she did or didn’t lie. That has nothing to do with her being on or off the blog, it just means that I will not be talking to her if she does return, but I have never been anything but nice to anyone here even if it wasn’t reciprocated.
Taz — No one is feeling alienated here but me. I don’t know how many times I have to say that I don’t care who posts on the blog, if I don’t like them then I am not reading or replying to their posts (which is what you and others suggested, but somehow when I keep saying that, I’m getting persecuted for “ignoring her”.) Flo did NOT try to reach out to me. Having her ask Midwest to ask someone who has my email to give my email to Midwest to give to her is ridiculous. I don’t give my email out to just anyone and she can figure out how to contact me (this is a public forum, you know) in another way. As I said, she decided to publicly tell myself and OC to “F— you” so she can publicly apologize for her apalling behavior as well. The fact that she gave “good” advice to myself or anyone in the past is not relevant to the fact that she may or may not have lied nor does it negate or excuse the fact that she was vulgar to me. I said I don’t recall exactly what she said because my life doesn’t revolve around the blog and I’m not going to say verbatim when really, I don’t care about this at all, so I’m not going to go back in the blogs to look and I don’t care to be scrutinized for getting a single word incorrect. What I do know for sure is that all of the details she gave aren’t plausible to all be true and therefore at least some of it was a lie. I don’t care about that, I care about the fact that she told me and OC to “F— you” for no reason as I never attacked her, and for the last time, I don’t care to associate with someone like that. I have never ONCE been mean to Flo or anyone else, not once. Please feel free to go back in the blogs and find anywhere that I was, because you can’t. Pointing out inconsistancies in someone’s story is not mean. Telling someone “F— you” is. And you’re right, it does seem like she feels justified in doing so since she can cause all of this drama but never be big enough to apologize for being so crude and downright nasty. And I was gone from the blog for quite some time around the holidays so don’t try to use me as a scapegoat for why you haven’t been around because I wasn’t even here to notice that you OR Flo haven’t been here. I just talk to the people who ARE here, I don’t think about who isn’t unless it’s someone I talk to regularly. I don’t mean that to be harsh at all, I just mean that there are a LOT of bloggers here so I usually don’t notice if people aren’t around because there is so much to catch up on as it is and I just don’t think about it.
2Chic — The negativity is exactly why I never wrote a single thing about the situation (I wasn’t even aware there WAS a situation) after pointing out the inconsistancies. Internet drama is so stupid and pointless, just like any drama. I keep that out of my life, there is no need for it. It’s unfortunate that somehow pointing something out is a reason to be attacked and felt okay to be told “F— you” by someone, and I wasn’t going to just let myself be the scapegoat for someone else’s disgusting behavior. But I’ve spent long enough talking about something that doesn’t make a smidge of difference in my life. I’m done repeating myself because people are talking in circles.
For the last time, I have not mentioned a single thing about Flo before it was brought up tonight. I am giving my reason for ignoring her posts if/when she does decide to return. You don’t have to agree with me (something about unique people here, right?) but you should respect my decision to just ignore her (as has been suggested and which I said even before that) like I have been. I could see if I said “F— you” to her if she came back (wait, that’s okay, right?), but I have been nothing but civil even when she didn’t deserve it, so if anyone has been un-sugar here it is everyone who keeps prodding me about a situation that shouldn’t even be talked about because it’s ridiculous. It was never a situation to me and still everyone seems to keep trying to make it one. I would have never said a word about it if people didn’t keep saying things about it to me here, which never should have been done in the first place. As far as I am concerned there has never BEEN a situation involving me and Flo. Pointing something out doesn’t create a situation, had I lashed out back at her nasty comments to me THEN there would have been a situation, but I didn’t. I have not been mean to a single person on this blog. Emailing everyone off the blog and asking them to get involved in drama that doesn’t even exist is incredibly immature and unneccessary. It’s not right to email multiple people and ask for my email address because I will not give it to her andn it’s wrong to put those people “in the middle”, especially multiple times. Until the other day when I gave my email to SoCal SB’s about the meet, only THREE people on the blog had my email address, that’s it.
Taz:
But will not contribute in a space where people are made to feel horrible and forced away from something
Now what if we all felt like you? I guess we would all leave the blog, and what will happen to so many of us when we are in a tough spot? Heaven forbid some new babe seeks the blog for advice and no one is posting because of something so trivial and negative. What if that same babe ends up in a horrific situation that could have been avoided if we would’ve chose to NOT let the little negatives stop the large amount of good we were doing. This is about all of us, not a few people who disagree. The blog is bigger than that. Taz YOU are bigger than this, and so much more wiser than to let confusion dictate your choices. If you leave…. who are you hurting? Yourself, a chance to sow a good seed in another life. I love your intellect, DON’T make me take a trip to Canada!!!! :0
You are right she is away from the blog b/c some people made her feel BAD. With their JUDGEMENTS. Her character was diminished and her integrity as a human being. She had every right to lash out. To be honest when you came on here and DAYS later had a huge run in with violence with your ‘ex’, you were ‘living’ with…could have been a complete b/s lie – someone coming on the blog to play victim to get some sympathy and perhaps a handout. It is all a matter of perspective. But if someone called you a LIAR – based on an ASSumption – b/c that is what a few ‘new sb’s’ at the time did – would that have been fair? But it was all done before on the blog – so clearly we could have ASSumed the same about you. Instead we were warm and caring – sugary. Welcoming. Maybe you should go back through the blogs and see who did welcome you. You were very welcomed on the blog. You have since then shown that you are a real SB looking for much of the same as many SB’s on this blog. Flo has proved – starting looong before you and I arrived by her wisdom and spirit that she is indeed a TRUE sugar. When salt is in the sugar packet you are allowed to say a F you or two IMO. Her being VULGAR – using the “F” word gives you the God given right to judge?? Did you predict that she would say F you – since you first hung her? Apologize for HER appalling behaviour? Seriously – sweetie – re read everything written here tonight. You have alienated Flo – past and present, and you are now alienating yourself by being completely unsugary with a simple plea from a caring blogger(s). No one else – you did that and you can own that. That is the truth. You accused her of lying BEFORE she said a very warranted Fuck you. Did it attack your integrity? Your self worth?? Did she name call? Or lash out b/c she was HURT! She needs to apologize to you? I think both of you need to apologize to each other, or at least hear the girl so you can stop spreading blasphemous LIES (BUT ‘SHE’ IS THE LIAR? – again I think you are seeing your reflection somehow) – or “MAYBE’s” since you really do not know. So many people are saying they want her back – b/c what she added was quality, depth and wisdom. If I left the blog, and perhaps yourself, I am sure we would not be quite so missed or long lived in ppl’s minds. This closes everything I have to say. Happy sugar hunting everyone. Signing off.
Cali Sb – you are so playing the victim. You started something and you are refusing to finish it – you are avoiding it so you do not have to take accountability. Yes we said to ignore posts that you did not like – HOWEVER – you started something by poking and prodding her and trying to keep the mask of the victim in tact. NOW you decide to follow our advice? But not before…hmmmm…Definitely NOT classy or sugary.
Cali SB
Personally I would have made contact with Flo before I said anything else about the situation. We are all grown women, and it’s not good to discuss this with the blog when clearly it is between the two of you. So she said something you did not like, as long as you harbor it, it will grow like a vine of bitterness. Baby girl… as long as you have breath in your body, people are going to say things that you do not like. You either rise above them, to their level, or beneath them. I hate to sound tough, but the two of you need to work it out. This blog is not about Flo and yourself. And….. if ANY OF US leave the blog because “she/he said something I didn’t like, so I am going to take my ball and go home”, then that tells me a lot about that your maturity level. Rise above the nonsense.
Um ok, there’s a huge amount of drama since I last lurked.. but this is what has been happening across a mutual site, the site I joined just recently.
I’ve got a date! Yay, so our arrangement is roughly two meetings a week, a few hours each and a 500 a week allowance, with no dinners just visits to his place.
I met up with him a few days ago, and have had other potential sd’s contact me from other states – but I find myself somewhat attracted to this guys sd experience (having had 4 sb’s over the past few years), the arrangement should be nothing new, or awkward one hopes.
it’s all rather exciting and new to me, and he’s asked many questions and set out a handful of expected and guidelines, boundaries needed incase one party becomes more involved or ‘confused’, but i will be given a three month trial period, with expected intimacy and exclusiveness.
i’m really not sure what will happen (aside from ‘intimacy
during these meet ups, but i suppose i will have to ask won’t I?)
For Heaven’s sake arent we all adults here????!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
CaliSB, I read your long post to Taz and reread it again and it seems to me that the fact that Flo dropped the F Bomb is one of the reasons why you are so mad at her. You repeated that word at least 6 times in your post.
Listen, we are all adults here and I believe we have ALL heard wayyyyy worse than that in our personal lives! I am way younger than you but it would take a WHOLE LOT more than someone saying “F… you” to me for me to get REALLY pissed. When you are part of a blog/forum you have to have a very thick skin because stuff like that is bound to happen.
Many bloggers here have been called FOS by other bloggers ( and wayyyyy worse than that!) and yet they kept blogging and didnt make a big deal out of it! In earlier blogs last year Lisa has even been called all kinda of names by a fellow blogger and I admire the way she handled the whole thing.
Would it change everything if Flo came back today and apologized for dropping the F Bomb to you??
In that case, I am getting on my knees and apologizing to you on her behalf!!! Im sincerely apologizing to you on her behalf and on the behalf of EVRERYONE ELSE on the blog for what she said to you.
Can we all move on now??? Can we please stop calling each other liar this liar that, trashy this or whatever…..
This is getting very toxic and it is the very reason why I am not even blogging like I used to…SMH
Thank you Yaz…and 2Chic..I rest my case. My life has been too wonderful lately to poison myself any further…
Emy
Hopefully the trivial spats will be put aside so we can focus on what this blog is about.
My .02: I do not know where you live. It sounds like all he wants is sex, and wants to pay for just that, … that is what escorts are for. Honi….love YOU enough to desire better. There is a reason he has been through four babes within a few years. I think it is disrespectful.
Taz…. Now you sound like “My Girl”. Big sugar hug just been sent your way… : )
SBnxtdoor:
Many have expressed the need for appreciation. I think identifying peoples expectations is important in understanding individuals.
VA SB:
I find the willingness to reciprocate a virtue. However, in SD/SB relationships the SBs expectations are limited. What do you think?
ElegantSugar:
I view what you term “human nature” in the sense of gratitude as the “norm”. A friend thinks the same way like you do for the need of recognition.
cleo:
“…just let me see you noticing some of the ways i help you, you’ll never see them all of course”.
Funny line, I wonder which ones you expect them to notice and if they are aware of your expectations…
“where’s the challenge in that?”
Someone once told me simple is boring.
Oh! and I think a man wants the exact opposite of the kind of personality they describe in a woman. However, when it comes to physical features what a man describes is what he wants/desires.
TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz):
I am drawn to the idea that when it comes to appreciation, the SB is likely to carry most of the burden, feel compelled to or simply more likely to react that way. I am not sure why my thoughts are geared this way.
NYCBella:
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
” An arrangement should be mutually beneficial,…”
This statement sounds nice….Are you implying satisfaction is what some might be seeking on here? That would be impressive!
Midwest Mistress of the Dark:
You caught my attention mentioning a relationship when discussing a mutually beneficial arrangement (MBA)!
All relationships are not MBAs but all MBAs are relationships. Which do you prefer?
“Boys are not stupid, girls are just smarter”- says a friend.
NYGent:
A lack of appreciation/gratitude signify taking advantage of your generosity?
Niki:
I like your idea of test. I also think it is likely to make a person focus on negativity.
Muse:
One needs to be attentive around you, I am guessing.
IRLSD:
You must be easily pleased if appreciation is the “whole point” of your SD/SB arrangement.
Not to change the subject from all this lively drama, but…. TWO QUESTIONS for SBs!!!!!!!
First one: pros and cons of having a SD who is in your city vs. a-plane-ride-away?
I’m single, so my discretion isn’t the top priority. But it’s a small city which feels more like a village sometimes, and so it’s hard not to run into the same people when out and I don’t want to have friends of mine with raised eyebrows about an older guy. However, if it’s a married SD in my city does that potentially solve my issues, since he won’t want to be so visible in the public scene with me.
I also LIKE traveling outta here and getting to other places. It’s nice to have a reason to. However, I get bored during the stretches of time at home, if there’s no one around to play with. One here and one away?
Actually no, I prefer the concept of just having one SD. But I’m new so maybe I’m being naive. There are very few men in this area who can truly afford to be a generous sugar daddy who provides a monthly allowance plus spoiling, so…. it would be a tough thing to even find one, I think, and especially one that I would find chemistry with.
There’s one prospect, however. I put up an incredibly erudite, articulate ad about what sort of arrangement I’d like to have and what sort of man I’d like to have it with, on a dating site for this country, and I got immediately an answer from a very intelligent sounding man. He’s just 6 years older, pretty good looking from 3 photos, and a partner in a start-up IT company, and married. He wrote several long paragraphs in flawless english. Good sign. He says he’s been on a search for quite some time for a truly charming, stunning, princess to spoil and pamper but hasn’t found anyone that really wowed him enough to want to bother with it. When saw my photos and says he’s mesmerized already and would like to set up a date. I wrote back and explained exactly what I’m seeking: #1- friendship as the basis, I need to LIKE him #2- sexual attraction growing relatively early on and my being able to imagine it growing stronger, #3 – him being generous with a stable allowance because he likes me too and simply wants to help, and #4 – us having the same idea of fun together and seeing eye to eye on how to have a great time together, what to do/where to go, as well as bedroom activities. I.e. I like fine dining, theaters, jazz clubs, comedy shows, museums, and of course, shopping, and having the man behave like a complete gentleman and have me believe I’m the only woman on his mind not just that moment but perhaps that entire week or month (despite him being married). He’ll call me this evening. Let’s see. I am surprised it only took 3 hours after posting an ad in this country to get a very thoughtful, long response (and because it’s in english I know it was written just for me, not copy/pasted) from a great looking guy in my age range. Who seems to be down with the program. I thought it didn’t exist over here, given that there’s one large middle class and that’s about it, and traditional gentlemanly manners/chivalry are out the window and the locals behave with no class whatsoever.
Now that I’ve been shopping around a bit and gotten even a bit burned by feeling neglected by the first SD I got weak in the knees for, I realize that I do need a pretty strong level of passion also on HIS end, for me to feel secure and enjoy this… if he’s married, I want to imagine he’s not seeking anything besides, me,a nd his entire libido is wrapped up and focused in my direction, for the period of time that the passion is working. And I’d like to be equally into him, but it’s more important to me that I feel that he’s super into me and isn’t shopping around mentally or in actuality.
SBs: how important is it that you feel that your SD has an insatiable passion for you and is (relatively, if married) exclusively involved with you? Do you mind if his interest is lukewarm/somewhat-strong but perhaps he has outside pursuits as well? i.e. he’s not counting down the moments until he gets to see you soooo desperately because he’s maybe crushing on others simultaneously or keeping one eye open to others….?
I have no other promising prospects right now other than the overseas pot SD I met with two weeks ago who I’ve gotten pretty burned by already, who may or may not be seeing me again by the end of the month. Any of ya’ll out there scrambling around to find some good prospects but not having it pan out so easily? It’s not that I’m not the whole package, I am, but…. well I’ve only been searching for a month and had a couple of first dates, so perhaps it just takes time to find that mutual attraction which is also coupled with mutual intentions on the specifics of an ideal arrangement.
Ok, ok, re: the blog topic, I’ll answer it too.
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
VERY. I need to feel like he is crushin’ on me pretty hard, and the little gestures that show it without words are the ones that melt me and have me plotting similar gestures in return.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
Nope, apparently it’s just there or it’s not.
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
I have no idea, I’m too green!
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
It’s not me. So I can’t fake that.
Hi Kiki – not sure if this post is too late, but I think you should decline the $300 per meeting offer. IMHO the guy is looking for an escort not a sugar baby. Best wishes!
So I have read through the blogs and I am reminded of one of my favorite internet sayings that is also very politically incorrect…. so if you are a PC kind of person, please don’t read any further….. “Arguing on the internet is kind of like being in the Special Olympics…. you may win but you are still retarded” Thank you in advance for any abuse that you may be offering!
whatsitgnatake4utobemine:
You will never know unless you ask that individual.
You want someone to be yours, own them?
I can sense a high degree of willingness on your part.
If it is mutual, I’d love to hear more of your story.
This site is good. This, I can assure you.
Taylor:
pros and cons of having a SD who is in your city vs. a-plane-ride-away?
I love easy access and flying is thrilling!
It won’t bother me either way.
how important is it that you feel that your SD has an insatiable passion for you and is (relatively, if married) exclusively involved with you? Do you mind if his interest is lukewarm/somewhat-strong but perhaps he has outside pursuits as well? i.e. he’s not counting down the moments until he gets to see you soooo desperately because he’s maybe crushing on others simultaneously or keeping one eye open to others….?
I need some space sometimes. I do not need to see anyone everyday but I’d like to think they are thinking about me. If intimacy is involved, i will demand exclusivity. I do not mind if they are keeping an eye open but I’d expect them to let me know when they make a decision to get involve with another.
“I need to feel like he is crushin’ on me pretty hard, and the little gestures that show it without words are the ones that melt me and have me plotting similar gestures in return.”
What if the SD is waiting for you to initiate such gestures…and those gestures would have him plot his treats?
It’d be funny if two people are waiting for the other to act first!
Three hundred dollars per meeting? I missed that. Yep, sounds like he’s trying to ‘arrange’ an ESCORT.
Hi Taylor — yes Kiki got offered $300 per meeting. Actually, cheaper than an escort because escorts are around $200 to $400 per hour…
NYCBella – I don’t usually substitute arrangement for relationship. I feel its a very fine line in the sugar world. As long as all expectations are set early on, I think a relationship within the arrangement is great for the intimacy. We are dealing with human needs and for many women a level of trust and chemistry makes the iintimacy so much better. The important aspect is knowing where to stop so hearts don’t get broken and bitterness follows. That was a long answer to a short question. I hope it made sense.
NYCBella – I don’t usually substitute arrangement for relationship. I feel its a very fine line in the sugar world. As long as all expectations are set early on, I think a relationship within the arrangement is great for the intimacy. We are dealing with human needs and for many women a level of trust and chemistry makes the iintimacy so much better. The important aspect is knowing where to stop so hearts don’t get broken and bitterness follows. That was a long answer to a short question. I hope it made sense.
Taylor- I may have answered your second question above. To expand, I’m don’t see multiple peoople at one time and hope that the one I’m with provides the same attention.
As for dating outside your city- james lives a few hours by car and its a comfortable distance. We both live in small towns and seek a certain level of anonymity. I would consider a LDR if an SD was in a hub. I enjoy learning about new cities and adventures. You have to factor in time/expense for SD.
Midwest-Thank you for your response. And it does make sense. There’s more info that I haven’t shared (for obvious reasons), but I do agree with you 100%. There’s certain standards that I feel are not going to be met by pot #3 and despite my attraction towards him, I should not compromise on those standards. (Amazing what a good night’s rest will do for giving perspective.)
Well, I’m off to get ready for the day.
Ciao!
Good Morning Everyone!
Hi to all the new bloggers who I have not “met” officially!
Kiki:
Even *IF* you’re ok with “pay per play” arrangements…in my humble opinion, $300/meet is just cheap. I know girls who cocktail at bars and make around $250ish on a Fri/Sat night.
—————————————————————-
Midwest:
Have fun on your date with your SD!
——————————————————————-
Taylor:
Whether the SD is local or long distance really doesn’t matter for me. As long the 2 people can agree on the # of times they see each other, allowance, and the SD is willing to cover travel costs if any…..then I don’t care if he’s local or long distance.
———————————————————————
Taz Says:
Class is much more than the words we speak. It radiates from within. It is in one’s essence – not their outward projection of ‘masks’.
I can’t agree with the above statements even more. Personally, I know there have been many times in my life when out of frustration/anger I have used the “F” word towards others….but I don’t think that makes me classless….I think it makes me human. I have plenty of friends who have lashed out at me with the “F” word out of anger/frustration, but I understand that doesn’t define who they are as a person. If there is someone out there who is capable of having total control over what they say even when extremely angry/frustrated, then kudos to them. But personally, I’m not that perfect.
————————————————————————-
Re: Flo Rida
All I will say is that when I first joined the blog months ago, she was the very first person to befriend me, and gave me very valuable advice on and off the blog. I was completely new to sugar dating, and she gave me answers to some very basic questions without making me feel like an idiot. Although I have no way of controlling who does and does not post on the blog, I do wish Flo would return because I found her posts very informative and quite entertaining.
Alll L- I’m not sure if I was just put-down or complimented so I’m taking it as the latter. Thank you.
Hi everybody
Muse and Anna:
Hi!
————————————————————-
NC Gent:
LOL at your internet saying…but its very true.
————————————————————–
Taylor:
Re: Your 2nd Question
I don’t see my SD as my BF. I’m ok with my SD having other SBs. The only thing I ask is honesty. I view my SD as a friend/lover. If he’s not thinking about me every waking moment, that’s ok with me. I don’t expect to be the “love of his life”…even if its just for now.
Wow drama!
Ok… here are my two cents on this… feel free to skip through
Flo has been a great source of information… sure her experience is unique… sometimes unbelievable but for the cross country trip she has provided some undesputable evidence… I speak to her off the blog and she wants to make things right with Cali SB … negative karma is never good to float around… Other than that I will once again say that her advice was always on point… she really did try and help anyone and everyone out…sure sometimes she comes off harsh but she never said anything (advice wise) with the intention to bring harm onto another sugar member… I do miss her crazy stories on the blog and her advice. I am very glad that I have her email and can ask her for advice off blog.
I ask all of you to try and keep this blog for what it is intended to be: sharing of sugar experience and offering help and advice to those who need it. Lets not judge anyone’s experiences… I dont question whether the stories posted on here are true or not… They are not mine and therefore I cannot judge. Some of us have had amazing experiences and others not so much. It is so easy for someone who hasnt had the best luck to think that people embelish the stories posted on here… for me? I have had the good and the bad…
I have had awesome SDs who have supported me in the most wonderful ways and others who have hurt me… It is with the support of the blog members that I have overcome the hurt and learned from my mistakes. If it wasnt for them I will most likely still be with my first SD and hating myself…
I have met such awesome people from all walks of life. All of these sugars have had an enormous impact on my life. OC’s guidance has probably shaped the way I view sugar dating right now. NC Gent and I share some similar experiences and both of us talking through them helped us reach decisions as to what to do. Flo has given me good advice on keeping my SD happy. Villa is just an amazing friend with whom I keep in touch with daily. Ababy (a one hit wonder blogger) is probably my best friend and the first person I could talk to about sugar life. CB is my partner in crime and we look out for each other with NYC pots. Midwest is probably the nicest person ever. NY Gent’s generosity reaffirmed my belief in NYC SDs… and the list continues
This just goes to show a small picture of how this blog has affected my life… I can only hope each one of us has the same experience on the blog… So sugar family lets keep drama out of the blog and focus on being supportive towards each other.
Rant over… thank you for reading
Can we ALL move on now??? Thank You
In recent news, Haiti just got hit by yet another earthquake ( well their biggest aftershock) this morning……Jesus, can’t they get a break?? I am really starting to wonder….
Muse~ I missed you again!!!
‘Sup girl???
Hi Yaz — yes it is a tragedy what is happening in Haiti. I hope you are doing well!
Yaz – it is truly devastating… Nassau is one of the main ports where they load aid (food, medicine, etc) for Haiti. NYSE and I will be there this weekend and have commited some time (about 3 hours each day) to help with the sorting of stuff and loading them into the planes.
Hi Allll L – Couldn’t agree more, but although many of our SDs may have all the money they want, something simple to show that we “enjoy” spending time with them may go a long way. Soooo, maybe once you get to know him and realize that he’s a huge Dan Brown fan (for example), buy him a book that he doesn’t have….something like that. I think those gestures can go a long way.
Kiki – I tend to agree that the pay per meeting can be circumspect. How about he arrange to split the payment in two and provide it to you monthly either via your bank account or through Paypal (I have one of those and it’s great). I think it would be difficult to spend time with someone and each time you go to leave, he hands you a stack of bills….Now, that’s not to say that you need to change things if you’re comfortable, but if you are feeling uncertain or uncomfortable with the arrangement, you should definitely discuss it with him.
Ciao!
Good Morning Sugars (a rainy one but none the less good)
It was a bumpy blog last night and I hope that this morning things will calm down.
To blog or not to blog is an individual question we each must ask ourselves.
Bloggers come and go and then come back again. That is the nature of the sugar bowl.
The best outcome for any situation that can’t be resolved is to “Agree to Disagree”
But seriously, I really don’t want to continue to add to the situation and I am hoping you all will move forward with a more supportive stance towards all who blog.
I think Stephan should delete all posts related to last night…
Taylor – I am not sure where it is in the blog archives – but search Flo Rida – she gave a wealth of knowledge on many topics (listed in point form), safety and travel to meet a pot being one of them
NCGent – thank you for your humor
You are right!
TXSB – I agree and it is nice to see someone else admits to be human as well..
OC – I agree it should be put to rest at this point. There is nothing to be gained at all. As far as posts being deleted – I don’t think that is an answer at all – but I am not the blog god so it does not matter I suppose
Have a great day sugars!
Hi OC — I think it would be great if the posts from last night were deleted, well except for any comments that might pertain to perky breasts!
i actually think OC’s idea on deletion is a good one. For some reason a tinderbox got ignited, tempers flared, things got out of control, snowballed, and just got away from us. Many of us probably said some things we’d like to take back, myself included. I think we are past it now though.
NC Gent Perky Boobies will always float to the top, they are delete proof (.) (.)
NYC SB: Your long post is sheer eloquence. Hear, hear.
Also, wonderful that you found a way to help out in Nassau.
NC Gent: Love your saying!!
Yaz: Did you see the clip of Anderson carrying the boy who was all bloody from being hit with a rock? It killed me!
Amanda – Mr Cooper aiding that boy was beyond touching… he just became 1000000% hotter
hey guys , thanks VA SB, TXSB, Taylor, NC Gent and anyone else who offered advice. so i met him this morning… he was nice enough but you guys are right – he wants to meet 2 or 3 times/month, daytime only (nights and weekends are for his wife) and i don’t know… the whole thing just feels wrong.
i told him i’d get back to him after a few other meets with pot sds, but the truth is, he’s pretty much the only person who has e-mailed me (other than “are u a sub?” which i seem to get a lot from other men). i’m going to tell him (part of) the truth – which is that i’m not comfortable with the fact that he’s married…. oh well. i thought this was going to be FUN!!
Wow lots of drama going on.
Cleo – For the record I respect anyone and everyone and no human being is an “it”. That being said, wearing women’s clothing does NOT make a man a woman. It is also extremely disrespectful for a transgendered person to deceive a man by not disclosing his true status (i.e born with a penis). People have a right to know that someone they share a mutual romantic interest in was actually born as the gender that they present. As far as the man that Lisa saw in a department store that is his/her business. I will guarantee you that I am not alone in my opinion and I can assure you that I am far from a bible thump-er. Deception is always wrong!!!!
Kiki – thats one way to let him down… you could also tell him the truth… you are not comfortable with the pay per play arrangement and it feels to you like he is looking for an escort… maybe (probably not) he will rethink his ways
James – thank you for the kind words
NYC SB – I know several chefs that would love to volunteer their services (Their ability to caterer for very large groups even in very remote locations ) in Haiti. I would imagine that the ability to feed the masses would be a need right now. So I’m wondering if you know of any opportunities for them to help?
Yesssss Amanda!!!!!! I did post something about Anderson and that little boy on the previous blog!
He made my heart melt. That guy is soooo passionate about what he does!
and I agree with NYCSB that he became 1000000000 times hotter!!
So there is a new pot who I am supposed to meet, and I wanted to know what everyone thinks of this e-mail I just got?
So, I am going to give you my schedule, and I’ll let you decide what you want to do. As far as my schedule, my free time during the day LITERALLY would be probably 12:45-4:15. I have school until 12:00pm and then have to be at work at 5:00pm. So, that is the time during my day that is free. If we work something out to where we meet at your apartment at 2:00pm 2x per week for about a half an hour everytime, then yes, things could work, since both of us know what this is, I don’t think either one of us need or want anymore time than that? Correct me if I’m wrong. I just know that you said you wanted someone to meet with twice a week, so I feel like we can definitely do it, only with the condition that you and I could only spend about 30 minutes together each time, which honestly, I think is plenty of time. If you agree, let me know.
I don’t think this is exactly what I was looking for, but then again, there is something to say about such a simple and uncomplicated arrangement. Any opinions?
Hi IRLSD — well it certainly doesn’t leave much time for an emotional connection, and it seems like the arrangement will be almost completely physical in nature, unless you just talk during some of the half-hour sessions. Personally, I would pass on that type of arrangement. Also, my immediate thought was that she is an escort.
Also, to update everyone, last Friday I asked about my in-limbo SB who has a bunch of other sugar trips planned. Anyways, I texted her on Friday and asked her if she was free Sunday night, but she would not get back till late, so we’re seeing each other Thursday night instead. I guess I’ll just leave things in limbo while I search for others and see how things go. We’ve been texting a little every day. Having thought about it, there is no point in pushing her to commit to me when I am not completely sure about her. I guess I’m looking for some sort of love or lust at first sight so I just know it’s the right SB, but hasn’t happened yet.
NC Gent, exactly my thoughts. I don’t think she’s an escort because she is so newbie-ish about everything. But her view of this relationship is purely a physical one.
30 minutes?? Talk about wham, bam thank you ma’am. LOL Doesn’t even leave much time for taking your clothes off. Jeez!
Hi all, long time no write. Hope everyone is okay.
And as for Flo, she has been nothing but helpful to everyone on the blog including me with no ulterior motives. But if she doesn’t want to come back I think we should respect that. I think what went on is between her and 1-2 other bloggers and they will work it out eventually.
Then keep on searching IRL SD!
I have to agree with NCGent – if that is what you are seeking go for it, but it does sound escort-ish…
So! before I begin the 2 hour reading of the blog. Let me answer the questions primero:
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement?
I don’t want to just feel like a piece of ass, in the same way I imagine my SD doesn’t want to feel like a walking credit card.
Very important. Isn’t that the reason we sugar date?
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how?
No. As the SB I don’t test/probe/lay traps for – my SDs. I consider the arrangement to be about them (and they should feel the same, so vice versa we’re both selfless to the other).
Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more?
Wait, what? I think it’s more.. sugars who show less appreciation get less benefits.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book?
Bad strategy, bad idea. Comes off desperate/needy/selfish/spoiled/etc.
IRLSD – She is the epitome of an escort. I want to date and enjoy the person, go out, dine, travel, and of course I want intimacy. I thought this was sugar dating, what you two are limited to in 30 mins twice a week will be far from dating.
IRLSD – wow, well at least she was to the point. But she definitely does not sound like who you’re looking for…
Hi AM: did you sleep late today? This is the first time in a long time that the new day on the blog hasn’t started with your cheerful *Good Morning*
James: OK, which one of us is going to change our blog name? You even confused me, since I didn’t think I had posted today!
Stupid question for the SBs but a question nonetheless…
What are the “extras” that a SB may want to ask for in an arrangement?…other than the almighty allowance LOL…..If you were asked ” What else would u like?” What would be your answer?
SDs fee free to chime in….
Uh Oh everyone ran away!!!!
Do I smell?? lol
Not sure what you mean….material things or just warm and fuzzies?
PAX
OC and I have made peace and though my coming back may offend some (undisclosed) people, some people have asked me to come back and if that is for the greater good i’m guardedly willing to do so.
I contritely apologize to a certain blogger for past, present and future offenses. Yes I do lie (but not on the important things), yes I am a drama queen and yes I’m far from perfect and yes I have caused offense (to you). I sincerely and unreservedly apologize. By way of explanation rather than excuse I overreacted in anger and regret what I said. Someone once told me that love cannot be bought, or bargained for it can only be given, and given freely and when it is returned it is the most beautiful thing in the world. Well forgiveness is the same, I can’t buy it or atone for it, only you have that power to freely grant it.
I haven’t been reading the blog (apart from posting once as Lurky Lurkeson – first post first post first post!) but that was a 3am silly post which was moderated by the way. Other than that one incident of immaturity i’ve had no idea of what’s going on in the blog.
To the friends who have supported me, I am humbled and thank you. Special thanks to (in no particular order) NYGent, TX-SB, DC, Beach, Cleo, Midwest, Gemi, NYSB, VC. Ophelia, Taz. Anna Molly – sie haben meine verpflichtung!
To those of you who do not know me and must think i’m full of myself I say I am full of myself! But give me time, and with good grace, a strong sail and a fair wind, we may become better acquainted.
If my coming back does more harm than good i’ll retire (for the 4th time
I did once post that I was a drama queen!
As Yogi Berra once said ‘when you come to a fork in the road…. take it’. i’ll post more later, sorry for the diatribe…
PS i’m not really female, or male, or human, i’m a koala bear chewing eucalyptus bark and making key strokes
ciao peeps, pax, love everyone!
Yaz – the one extra I would ask for is career mentoring… and of course louboutins
Glamazon – I will definitely ask around to see how your chef friends can help… although I am thinking non perishable foods would be super handy… I think that the resort we are staying in is providing food for all the volunteers
Flo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy lord. Lots of drama happened yesterday. Good thing I was out of the loop.
I will say though, CaliSB – I happened to start lurking around the blogs around when fake SDs etc came into question, and I do think that yes, Flo was pretending to be whatever that SDs name was. That’s about all I can say on that matter because I don’t know her, or her relationship with anyoen else. I do think there was some catty/petty activity being thrown on both sides of the fence, so no one can really claim to be perfectly innocent- but considering it happened two, 3 weeks ago? Everyone should just kiss and make up
Cleo – my undergrad is infamous for being extremely liberal and one of the most LGBTQ friendly campuses in the country. Having said that, of course referring to a transgender or transsexual person as an “it” is completely horrible (not sure who exactly said that here on the blog) but at the same time, clothes do not make the person their gender.
Chaz Bono said it best when he (as we all know he was born a female, then transitioned to male) said (loose quote here): Gender isn’t about what’s between the legs, but what’s between the ears.
Gender is conceived in the heart and mind of an individual and reflected as they please. In a similar way as a lesbian dressing more butch dyke than femme (lipstick) dyke would *not* consider herself a “male” by any means, so to does a gay (or straight) man (cross)dressing or dressing in drag not consider himself a female. Clothes are most often used as performance in gay culture. Drag is like couture in that the performers OVER-emphasize and exaggerate female aspects (such as extremely large/high hair, large breasts, white cheek bones, fake eye lashes etc) in order to enact a role on stage. It makes us then question, what is female? And within clothing, some lesbians prefer to wear male clothes not because they feel they are male, but because they wish to reject societal norms that were placed upon them – and so it becomes, again, almost a performance, as it is at once a protest that makes us question, what is society’s perception of female? And some lesbians prefer to wear heels and lipstick, not because they seek to protest the fact that society states women should be girly and like pink, but because they are standing firm in the belief that lesbians too can be as girly as the “straight” society perception of a female role.
All of this is to say, transgender and transsexual, and queer – are very complex identities that will never be defined to “it” or “pants” or a “dress” but within themselves have unique situations that constantly bring us to question, what is gender?
Anywayyyy.
IRLSD: 30 minutes is much too short. She sounds rather boring – like she has sex down to clockwork and has meticulously planned her schedule as: Monday
breakfast 9 – 930
gym 930 – 1030
class 1030-130
sex w/ SD 130-2
shower 2 – 215
driving to work 215 – 230
work 230 – 8
and so on. Do you really want to have sex with a robot? Zzz.
& as VA SB stated, we have made reservations for the DMV meet up if anyone is interested they should come by!
We are all one big happy family again! YAY!!!
omg, blog-o-drama! glad I missed out on all that… I like to live my life drama-free!
So whats up sugar world? Appreciation in a MBA? Oh hell yes, there better be appreciation! If I don’t feel like I’m being appreciated, like my looks or demeanor are being appreciated, or that my personality or what I bring to the table isn’t being appreciated…then I’m out of there!
Uh, what were the rest of the questions? Oh yes. I don’t test anyone, that is juvenile and non-genuine, and I prefer to be with genuine adult people. The “never satisfied” type of personality gets old REALLY QUICKLY. And sometimes it seems like the ones who show the least amount of appreciation get more, but that is because I think the negative stories get told more on the blog than the positive stories.
Flo!!! MUAH! Missed you sugar
I do hope we can all get along!
Hi Flo Rida – we’re not friends…yet… but based on the posts from others, I think I could learn a lot from you and I’m looking forward to many more of your posts.
Your post above was nice – a bit tongue-in-cheek
– but very nice and I’m glad you’re back with us. Plus, it’s okay to be a drama queen — I’m one myself, although I’ve been “very” good on the blog.
Glad to see you with us again!
Ciao!
Yay! Welcome back Flo.
Yaz – I’ve also been confronted with that question a lot and it’s really hard to say. I already have a lot of “crap” (ie jewelry, clothes, purses, electronics etc) so I definitely don’t want to say, uh a new Tiffany bracelet? At the same time, if my SD just surprised me with a Tiffany bracelet I would be all putty and mush because he was thoughtful enough to think about me and it’s more the thought that counts.
Also…..
I would feel as though, going beyond my allowance and asking for something else (even if he offered) would still make me feel like I’m asking for *too* much already.
Does anyone else (SBs) feel that way?
I mean, I understand that SDs are wealthy and if they can afford an SB then they can afford a Tiffany’s bracelet, but .. idk.
Yaz: Ditto the career mentoring. That’s every bit as important to me as a financial agreement.
Flo – like I said above ^^ I wasn’t really around when the official drama began or ended, but I do think your note was very mature. It takes the bigger person to apologize.
Now, also as mentioned above ^ we can all kiss and make up.
Sugar kisses all around muah! :*
Ahhh – okay, I get the question now. Yes, definitely mentoring and the opportunity to get connected with the right people to help me get that corner office. Because ultimately, tha’s what I want – the corner office, executive assistant, salary out the ying-yang, perks that make my head spin, and all the power that comes with it. Yeah, that’s me. I don’t apologize one bit. So, if my SD can give me access to the right people, then I’ll be loyal to the end – even when the sugar relationship stops.
NOW….if one of the wonderful SDs on the blog would like to help with the mentoring, access, etc., I would LOVE that….I don’t need to be your SB (really, I don’t) – you can just be an awesome person that I know and who introduces me to people that can help with my career…
Other than that – the financial aspect will take care of everything else….
wow lots to catch up on
to clarify, i do NOT think that it was okay that that person deceived nc gent in any way (and nc gent it was lisa and not you who called a transvestite an it, i didn’t mean to imply that you did and i’m sorry that what i wrote implied that in any way); of course they should have been up front about it.
that said, the general response on the blog was really off putting to me as i read it all in a row with no breaks… by the time lisa said it regarding a human being i lost it.
i don’t think it’s okay to lie to people but wow… i’m not sure that the way y’all ribbed nc gent was very sugary toward people who are already having a hell of a hard time…
kiki: i asked a transsexual how i should address them regarding pronouns, that was her answer and since i have lived in the heart of the gay community for about 7 years of my adult life i think my opinion is pretty valid. that said, yes, we all have different ideas, that’s what makes us interesting.
.
VA SB? (i think said it) no, i’m not a man
but i’ve had a man go on a date with me SIMPLY to see if i was a real woman after he heard my voice and spied my adam’s apple in a photo.
i’ve been called sir at least a hundred times on the phone by phone company and pizza delivery people alike
i’ve had people argue that i’m not me because they know me and i’m a woman and they are clearly on the phone with a man
just saying, big hands (because i work with them and have my whole life and can swing a mean hammer/axe/sledgehammer/spade/etc) and a deep voice and an adam’s apple do not a man make; i mean take a look at kathleen turner right?
DC – I went to a very liberal undergrad school too and I really enjoyed your post. Thank you for sharing that.
Hi Yaz! – Definitely mentoring. I know I will be successful. I just wouldn’t mind a little bit of good advice and a nudge in the right direction to save me some mistakes along the way.
Also, am I the only one who doesn’t have a crush on Anderson Cooper? I mean..he’s attractive and well-spoken and compassionate…wait a minute. Why don’t I have a crush on him! He’s perfect!
Thanks Cleo – I missed that post – no offense implied by my question, was just curious. Be that as it may, I’m glad you’re back as well…
It’s been a rough couple of days on the blog – but damn if I’m not practically addicted to this darn thing. I think with all the serious stuff / drama I deal with at work each day, the blog is a “fun” outlet. I’m glad it’s getting back to normal.
Oh yes, I do love me some Anderson Cooper, with his sexy self……
Afternoon Sugar’s
WOW!!!! All my Children couldn’t top this drama if they tried, I’d like to use some of this for my next screenplay. lol. Glad to see everyone is friends again. If some of you SB’s, who are more knowledgeable, leave, what’s going to have to us new – kids-on-the-block?!
P.S.
let me know if anyone out there is a NJSB
Good afternoon everyone
wow last night’s blog had adverse effects on my health. I must have gotten slight food poisoning from the spring rolls I ate yesterday as I was up all night throwing up. Just got home from a very hard day at work, I got no sympathy although I threw up 3 times at work. I still can’t eat anything.
Muse – I have a little crush on him but its more of “he is an amazing human beeing” crush rather than “i want to rip his clothes off” crush…
Also, I thought he was gay? Not that there is anything wrong with that
DC SB: you are, of course, entirely correct. i was referring pretty specifically to drag/transgendered folks who are living as the sex they weren’t born into.
chaz became a he when chaz decided that’s what he was.
but, when in doubt you apply (and i’m really talking male->female here rather than the other way around because i would never call a really butch lesbian “he” unless she told me she was a male) the gender in which they are dressed. and anyone transitioning in m->f is usually fairly obviously living as a woman.
drag queens are she and not he… at least they are in vancouver and toronto. if you see them not in drag? they’re he.
anyway that’s enough of that.
.
also? OMG FLO !!
yay
Muse – thank you
i always appreciate fellow liberal collegers, we can sometimes be too quirky for mainstream taste, but we’re much more interesting 
NYC SB – he is gay. which further makes me hate the gays for having all the hot ones
especially the older hot ones! yumm. makes me which i was at least a boy so i could dabble. but all my gays refuse to even acknowledge my vagina. haha
anderson cooper does nothing for me… but i want to know how it’s possible that i’m the only one on the blog with a crush on richard branson?
that guy is *mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm* and he does things like WINGWALKING!
sooo hot.
Welcome back Flo!!
cleo – yes, i guess very simply speaking one could share that rule with those who are less informed w/ the LQBTQ community than those who are well-informed.
drag queens are she in performance, and he outside of performance, although some do take it to extremes and like to stay in character even through everyday interactions by playfully referring to themselves as ladies/women/girls/fairies etc. But of course, no, this isn’t to imply they really wish they were female, just that they’re pushing performance beyond the stage.
Hey are there any blog SDs or SBs from Seattle?
Hey james.m, I haven’t posted in a while and I know you’ve been active since then. But I wanted to make sure NYC SB and some of the other “old timers” recognized me when I weighed in on that particular topic. I’m happy to try out a new *nom de blog* as a courtesy to you and to avoid future confusion, so long as it’s clear to all I’m not trying to disguise my identity. James NYC doesn’t help much, it just means more typing for other people. Any suggestions anyone? Be careful though, the new name may start to speak in a different voice!
anderson cooper, brad pitt, and george clooney are how i *hope* my man will age.
or if I could find an SD like either of the above ^ swoooooooon.
James (nyc) that’s a tough one, i have a small blog crush on your current self… so try not to change too much
Taz, on the “extras”, it’s best not to ask. I used to ask all the time what I could get for an SB in addition to her allowance. I got them TVs, living room furniture, paid off several thousand dollar loans, etc. But SBs who keep bringing up broken cars, credit card loans, etc, etc are such turn-offs. If an SD asks at the beginning what extras an SB would hope for, the best answer would be, “To pitch in when I need things, within reason, things down the road if everything works out well.”
There was one SB who was such an aggressive money grabber. At one point, she wanted these super-expensive shoes and honestly I wouldn’t have minded getting them for her at all, except that she was so aggressive about the whole thing. The shoe store was next to this sushi place and she tried to take me there when we met for sushi, but it was closed the first time, so she wanted the same sushi place again the next time we met! I changed the place and ran off after lunch, only to find myself across the street from the shoe place with her yet again, lol. She didn’t last long.
Sounds like it’s a good thing I missed the blog drama. My two cents is that everyone doesn’t have to like each other to get along.
Cleo, I’m blushing. By the way, it’s overdue, but I think the photos you finally selected are terrific, full of fun personality and physical appeal!
DC SB – I sooooo agree with the Pitt/Clooney/Cooper statement…..I can keep wishing and waiting and hoping.
Yes, Anderson Cooper is gay, but he is still a hot tamale and oh boy, if he wasn’t…..mmmm mmmm!
As far as ‘extras’, I too am very happy with mentoring. I have found a wonderful SD that does just that. For now from a distance I am MORE than happy – perhaps in the next few weeks when we do meet it will be a very sugary end to my current search in ALL aspects
Any other extras, (materially) are ‘nice’…however I am a very frugal SB and would much rather have my finances in better order so that I can focus entirely on my wonderful SD
I am more than content with my agreed upon allowance and would not ask/expect my SD to give/offer more.
Hi James!! Nice to see you again
Guten Tag Flo!!
James M – I was late to the party today…LOL
Hi everybody!!
Lisa, hope you feel better soon.
Hi Cleo – good to see you back again ** hugs **
James – Harvard Club SD… lol
I had a frugal SB, and I liked it better. Much better to know the money I’m giving someone is not being wasted on getting trashed drunk at a bar or on a purse when the rent is not being paid.
IRL SD – omg no!
Hey All. Seems like the blog has been kind of slow lately. Maybe I can get you people fired up about something!!!
James – it sounds like I want to post as “Anderson Cooper”
lol take all the drama off the blog and its like the wind has been taken out of our sails lol
James (nyc) It seems you’ve been here longer, so I’ll change – just as soon as I think of something better…
Baaaaahhhhaaaaa – Fred Flintstone!!! Love you SDN!
Taz: Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.
SDN – on the bedrock?
Taz: You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the blog!
SDN – I haven’t heard that one before…LOL.
AM: Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
SDN – Please don’t stop. I’m enjoying this.
Muse: I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
muse – thats what she said!
NYC SB: Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
WOW, you all been busy, Lots to catch up on!!
Just wanted to say HI!! I’ll start catching up, then come back to see what’s the hot topic today!
SDN – Oh you’re too good.
so hard to read with such long posts by one person at time lol i miss chatrooms
Gemini: I must be dancing with the devil, because you’re hot as hell!
SDN – I think I’m in love…swoon.
AM: You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line
Taz: Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
Gemini: f I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
JAMES you are BACK!!! I have asked about you often. Now my day is complete! Forget working, happy dance… James is back
NYC SB – lol
SDN – do you know all these lines by heart or are you looking them up?
whoa think I just spilled my hidden double top secret blog crush Ha-Ha
Favorite cheesiest pickup lines???
You must be a general because my privates are saluting you!
Muse: Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
NC Gent: Props on the saluting! You are da man.
Gemini: You got a sports jersey?
My pickup lines are mere mortals compared to your repertoire of pickup lines, SDN!
LMFAO…defintely what the blog ordered
Gemini: Cause I need your name and number.
Taz: ** holding out my hand ** Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
SDN – I don’t need to think anymore…I AM IN LOVE. You are such a charmer I just can’t resist you anymore baby.
SDN – LOLOLOL!!! teehee- I liked the 5 cent line though.
Taz- Awesome right?
WOW, I am SOO glad I missed all that last night. WTH?? I will agree on one thing though, the “F” word should NEVER come out of a LADY’S mouth.
As for me? If my SD (if I ever find one) and I decide that things are going beyond the “arrangement” and moving forward to a relationship, I am all for it.
How important is feeling appreciated to you in a mutually beneficial arrangement? Very important to me. I think it is important in ANY relationship. I want to feel as I’m adding to his life, and yes, seeing him “light up” when he sees me would be a major bonus for me as well.
Do you test potential sugars for appreciation/gratitude? If so, how? No, just observe and see how he responds to the little things. Does he thank the waitress, or treat her like she’s so beneath him. Little things like that tell alot about a person.
>b>Do sugars who show less appreciation get more benefits than those who show more? I would hope not. I would never play that game with anyone.
Is having a ‘never satisfied’ attitude a way to get more sugar for less? Is this strategy OK in your book? Again, not my style. If someone does something for me, I let them know how much it meant to me that they tried. Small gestures go a long way with me.
Hi AM! Or not so a.m. today it seems …
OC, I’m blushing again … had a busy holiday season, then a quick vacation, kids still home from school, just now getting back into the swing of things. Missed you guys but lurking lately and staying out of the crossfire. Hope all’s well with you.
NYC SB, that’s perfect, I just might have to go with that! But it might reveal too much of my MO … need to keep a few surprises up your sleeve, right?
cleo: Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Flo: Let’s make like a fabric softener and ‘Snuggle (snuggie?)
AM/NM/AA: Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.
Taz: You’re so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.
OC: This isn’t a beer belly, It’a a fuel tank for a love machine.
Midwest: I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
Niki: If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
ElegantSugar: Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water! (yes this is a gross – bite me it is still funny)
SBnxtdoor: Excuse me…..Hi, i’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you…
Ca Dramin: You are the reason men fall in love.
VA SB: Were your parents Greek Gods, ’cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
TXSB: I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
Cali SB: Is your name Katrina? ‘Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!
** Any one I have missed is a pure over site on the part of the author. No offense was intend or implied. If you feel you need a cheese pickup line directed to you just let me know **
OMG!!!! SDN you are too much! those are hilarious….how in the world do you have all of those pick-up lines in your memory bank!
That’s great though – I really needed this laughter tonight. Those really were great….
SDN – you always bring so much fun and charm to the blog – thank you so much for that! PS – ummm you sent someone an email and then don’t respond??? :O
James my secret blog crush was bound to come out sooner or later
Looks like I will have to share you with Cleo 
I am sure we can work out a fair schedule!
Welcome back Sugar
Things are going ok. My SD/BF relationship is having its normal ups and downs. The bumps in the road to his recovery has been hard for him personally and challenging for those who care about him. It is hard for me to not just go with my “old” ways of giving up and moving on. I hate that fickle girl. But for now I will give it my all. Going back into the sugar bowl has been a fleeting thought now and again. One day at a time
PREFACE: THIS IS VERY LONG and I apologize in advance, but you must read in its entirety before posting a response. I have something I wanted to seriously discuss; leaving defenses and drama at the door, please.
Hello, Sugars!
I hope everyone is enjoying their day so far. Finally landed in Vegas! Feel like I’ve been flying for days. I caught up briefly on the blog early this morning before leaving for the airport, but haven’t had a chance to read anything new. I promise all of you I am not intending to re-invite any type of drama; however, I would like to express my thoughts on an area I personally found disheartening during the communication exchanges sparked by the whole incident. I would love any and all genuine feedback as I was really bothered and I was really enjoying the blog and wanted to be a contributing voice here in sugar land. Here goes…
This whole “believe only 40-50% of what I read here and ignore the stories I think are exaggerated.” (That isn’t verbatim, but something like that was said a couple of times.) Is this how most people on here truly feel? I realize believing everything you read on the Internet shouts naivety in bold colors, but honestly, I have no reason NOT to believe the stories shared on this blog based on my OWN personal SB/SD experiences. After reading that, I quickly realize why some of my contributions of comments were completely ignored.
Now a little bit of how I ventured into this world…
Due to an unforeseen economic downturn in my personal situation a year ago, I decided to secretly pursue a SD/SB arrangement. I heard about this SA site on a talk show and decided to check it out. Within 2 weeks I officially had my first SD. My experience with him from day one was amazing beyond belief and I had to pinch myself several times a day to see if I was dreaming. The shopping and trips were non-stop. And just the difference in the level of how I was now being treated by a man opened my eyes up to a whole new realm I was happy to be in. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t date horrible men prior to my first SD, he was just in a higher level of gentlemanly class beyond what I was accustomed to. The way he dressed from head to toe was flawless (custom Italian suits, cuff links every day), the manner in which he spoke to people was on a different playing field and the absolute respect he commanded just from his presence alone was intoxicating, and then the extra layer of care he took to ensure I was happy was indescribable. I was really living the princess fairytale and because this is an area of my life I really must keep very private, I couldn’t share all of my newfound sugar happiness with ANYONE! I have always dressed immaculately myself so no one really thought twice about the new clothes and jewelry I was now wearing. There were times I was BUSTING AT THE SEAMS to tell my best girlfriend, but still, I chose to keep things to myself.
My second SD experience was just as amazing as my first; amazing gifts, trips, even meeting high-profiled people of celebrity status, etc. Since I was still keeping this all to myself, being the writer that I am, I began to journal all of my experiences. One day, I stumbled upon this blog and NYC SB’s blog, Goal Digger, and suddenly I felt like I could FINALLY share my experiences with people who understand. People who wouldn’t judge me and would share their own stories with me and we would offer support to one another – I was ecstatic! Now after coming out of ‘silent’ mode and appearing actively on the site for about a week, I am disheartened to know people don’t even believe the stories that are shared by other SDs and SBs. Based on my own personal experiences of being a solidified SB for a year now, I know there are SDs who have the means to do some of the most amazing things for their SBs and I love to hear all the experiences! And instead of reading their stories with half my eyes open, I feel a flutter in my stomach and have a broad smile on my face for them; knowing the incredible excitement they feel!
Like I have shared before, I have remained friends with both of my SDs and have frequent dinners with my first SD and his new SBs (he usually has 2-3 he is seeing at a time) and I told one of the girls about this blog and she was thinking of joining. Her first story out of the box would automatically put her into that “only believe 40-50% of what you read” category. Why? Because he bought her a Mercedes and made it possible for her to move into a beachfront condo among many other things he has done to enrich her life! Is that so hard to believe? I’M HERE TO TELL YOU THESE FAIRYTALE-LIKE STORIES ARE TRUE. Maybe not ALL experiences are of this caliber, but in MY experiences and the SBs I have met, they are very much 100% true.
I guess I don’t see the reason or value in someone fabricating these stories at all. What is one to gain by doing so? Furthermore, what does a person gain by disbelieving a story? It is sad that people come on here to share their excitement with the very people who should be happy for them – but with a large chance they are just going to be ignored because their stories sound too good to be true.
I guess there are different levels of SDs and SBs and unless you have experienced all levels, I personally don’t feel anyone has the right to discredit another person’s story. Remember, anyone who chooses to share on here is a fellow SD/SB who has reached out to others because there is commonality between all of us.
Someone, (such as myself )who , for various reasons, cannot share openly this somewhat clandestine sugar world we have opted to live in, appreciates having a mutual place to share my stories; good and bad. I enjoy reading all of your stories and will do so NOT with a doubtful eye, but a warm kinship and a quiet knowing within myself that my lifestyle is accepted – if not anywhere else in my life – HERE, within this Sugar Bowl Blogosphere.
Thank you for reading my very long-winded message.
xoxo,
ElegantSugar
PS – if anyone is in the Vegas area and would like to meet up, let me know – I am free Thursday morning until the afternoon and would love a shopping or lunch partner!
ive been a sb for almost a year and it doesnt just go for the sb’s being great ful,what ive come to learn is that 95% of the sd’s that ive met are VERY un greatful, if theyre not living up to they’re arrangement, they’re expecting me to drop everything just so i could keep them company or go to dinner with them, thats all fine, but seriously i can take my self to dinner or go with my friends. SDs need to realize that sbs have needs to, and if the needs arnt met dont be surprised,pissed or curious why we dont text back or call anymore.
Thanks OC, and thanks for sharing — I was wondering about that. Hang in there. What I see is someone showing Character — someone who reminded me once how important that is.
James: thanks! i’m now considering what to replace the middle or last one with… too many smiles *g*
don’t blush, it’s just true
.
NC Gent: *hugs* thanks, i was never really going, just had to go let the head of steam dissipate
.
SDN: rofl – awesome
Just remember you guys get to serious on me again I will whip up a big batch of Velveeta (think about it) and start the pickup lines again.
cleo:
ElegantSugar- I take most of everything written on the internet with a tiny grain of salt. That said, I think you can quickly and easily tell when certain people are embellishing their stories or when something is fiction or when a story is true. I do on the other hand believe that there ARE real fairy-tale SD/SB relationships (and the bennies that come with them) and that the people talking about them are true.
And I agree, this is the only place I can talk about my adventures and experiences…. the sugar family is my support system
Elegant Sugar – You have brought some wonderful and promising stories and experiences to this blog. I appreciate all the we give to each other here – please do tell your friend to try us again
SDN – we *may* start up again just to have you do that
elegant sugar i for one choose to believe the lion’s share of what i read… and i don’t actually care if it’s true or not.
i want to imagine that there are women out there having the experiences you describe and frankly i see no reason why some of you can’t have exactly those…
i just want to imagine that life for myself, so please do keep the tales coming. frankly i find the high end tales almost easier to believe than the middling ones
Whew…didn’t mean to take up so much real estate in my letter!
Thanks, TT. She tans all day so I’m sure she’s lurking. Ha ha!
I am going to scroll up and catch up on things now. I think I saw Flo Rida is back. I wasn’t on when you were,Flo, but hello and welcome back! I assume you are in Florida? I am too!
IRLSD: 30 minutes? YOU?? Cutting it short for you, from what I remember!
SDN: You, my dear, are hysterical. Love your humor!
I’ve only had one by-chance ‘wow’ experience in my short sugar life. it was fleeting, but gave me just enough of a taste for me to pursue it fully about 6 months later…. and poof here i am!
meeting with a pot sd for drinks tomorrow night and shopping on saturday with another pot sd. i’m nervous about first-meets, but excited at the same time
Gemini29: Yes, those SD/SB relationships exist and I have lived it and witnessed it and hopefully, will enter another one very soon. (have met with 4 pot SDs – my bar has been set kind of high.) Isn’t it nice to come here when you are so excited about something and want to share and then also it is nice to come here seeking advice or maybe give advice or cheer another fellow SB up! Thank you for your response.
Cleo: Let the stories inspire you to continue searching for the RIGHT arrangement that makes you so happy you go to bed smiling and wake up smiling!!
All the “Sweet” stories have me staying here and hoping for the best, but I have not even recieved any messages in a week… wondering what is happening? I send out emails to the ones who look promising close to me, but no responses… guess I just sit and be patient. Gotta be someone out there for me!
SDN: ha ha ha! Just read your pick up lines!! I will put my bath water in the finest champagne flute for you, babe!
SDN – I feel so left out *pout*
Glad to see things have lightened up in here!
I’m with Cleo… I think that the fairy-tale stories give me hope. Its that castle in the sky that keeps me going in this adventure and hearing about other girls who are finding it…well it keeps me motivated. If other girls can find it, then so can I!
photogirl: I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.
elegant sugar, your stories really do inspire me to still look for my special sd,but its really hard when the ones that i have met are fake.
Well, my SD is acting weird again…I told him that I was going to logon to my account and change my picture to one that didn’t show my face…..or that I was going to hide it for the time being…..Haven’t logged on since we starting our arrangement.
WELL, he then starts saying how I must be looking for someone else since I’m logging in so he’s going to do the same thing….blah, blah, blah….I really, really, really, really HATE drama….I don’t have time for drama, especially from a man….how in the HELL can he say I’m looking for someone else when I suggested that I take my face pic “off” or hide my profile all together….. Grrrrrrrr….
Damn!!! I just don’t have the energy to be treated like a fricking child or a flake. If I tell you that I’m with you, then dammit, I’m with you…..
Where are all these suave men (aside from the Blog SDs, of course) who don’t play games, have confidence in themselves, and don’t want drama around every corner….Hmmm, that’s what I want to know.
Sorry everyone….
Oh, SDN, be still my heart….you are a dreamboat…..
SDN – aww thanks! *cheesy smile*
ElegantSugar – Thank you for sharing that. Have you been given my email yet?
Flo – Hello there! Nice to see you back
Thank you for all of your responses to my letter. I have considered starting a blog to write some of the stories from my past year – amazing, amazing experiences that most times felt surreal. I might just save them for a book. I have been extremely fortunate and do not take it for granted. The SDs in my life hear from me on a weekly basis. I genuinely still care for them and they genuinely care for me. There are GREAT men on this site, SBs – don’t let the bad ones discourage you. Keep hanging in there! I guess if the owner of this site made the process more stringent to ‘weed out’ fakes and flakes, he wouldn’t be as profitable. From a business sense, can’t say I blame him!
I’m off to find a blackjack table before ‘dolling up’ to see a show tonight!
Have a lovely night, all.
May visions of Sugar Babies/Daddies dance in your heads…
xoxo,
Elegant Sugar
OH, forgot to say WELCOME BACK FLO
VA SB – Ugh, sorry to hear that! I hate it too when the other person brings drama into the relationship/arrangement. So unnecessary. I know SDs think the SB normally brings it, but I’ve been with a few guys who always brought the drama.
Elegant Sugar – Well said… I echo the sentiments…
VA SB: Gee. This from a MAN? Sounds like he is extremely insecure. He may be on auto-pilot from bad SB experiences in the past and it has nothing to do with you at all. Do you guys have the type of relationship that you can sit and talk rationally about things and share how you feel? Sounds like he needs validation from you that you are in it for the long haul. My past SDs have shared stories with me of SBs using them for a bit and then disappearing. I can’t say I blame them for needing the security, they are bringing a lot to the table too. My one word answer for everything: COMMUNICATE! (Ok, sometimes it’s SEX.) Yes, I said it,/b>. Ha ha!
Blackjack, here I cooooooome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
ESB, 30 minutes is shorter than I’d like, but sure beats the 30 seconds my wife gives me, lol.
IRLSD: Sounds like my X!!
Photogirl: I have not received your email address. Would love to meet up when we are both in Florida!! Would be SO NICE to have a girlfriend in my REAL life that I can share things with. Right now, I have some of my past SD’s new SBs as friends, but I don’t really want to vent or share much with them because of their relationships with my past SDs who are NOW their current SD. (gee, confusing much?) Ha! In other words, sometimes it’s nice to just share things with a girlfriend who is neutral and not close with any of the other people in your life. Make sense? How do I get your email address?
ElegantSugar, I believe most of the fairy tale stories. Having said that, in my experience, many SBs join this site with Pretty Woman in mind (a few have expressly said that to me on dates), but most have a hard time finding anything even close, instead running into a series of creeps and photo collectors. I don’t offer anything close to what you describe, but I really haven’t run into SBs who are not happy with the arrangement I offer. I always wondered if SBs are looking for the guy with the air of wealth, since I tend to be more humble and dress casual and carry myself with confidence but humility. I don’t even wear a watch and if I could have it my way I’d never wear anything less comfortable than t-shirts, jeans, and tennis shoes. Perhaps I am not your stereotypical SD, just a normal but generous young guy with too much time and money and who is easily bored and therefore seeking adventure.
Ooooooh, I don`t want I don`t need I can`t stand no minute man,
I don`t want no minute man,
Ooooooh, here’s your chance, be a man take my hand, understand
I don`t want no minute man…
(a la Missy Elliott)
ElegantSugar glad you made it to Vegas safe and sound. To answer your question… I agree with you that it is a very narrow margin of SD’s that can have that kind of life transforming effect on ones life. My experience is one that I have tried to keep mainly to myself due to that very fact. I have not found a way to value both my private life and my SD/BF’s and to tell the full fairy tale stories. When you figure that one out let me know! My postings tend to tone them down but still share that fun factor and glimmer of YES it does and can happen.
My SB confidant Desert Bunny has helped to keep me grounded in all the excitement. She is one who also believes and understands the need to keep the “pinch me because this can’t be real feeling” between ourselves. But, yes it would be great to hear those stories.
ElegantSugar: My folks are in south/east FL. Would love to meet up with you next time I’m down that way!!
I’m still hoping we get some more takers on Sat. night in DC. drop me a line if your interested. VA SB and DC will be there, too. We are hoping to meet Gail on her next visit to the capital!!
OOPs, I mean my folks are in south/WEST FL, gulf coast!
VA SB, I echo Elegant Sugar. I think your issue is lack of trust on his part. I’ve discussed the issue of logging on ad nauseum before. Now I offer two options for an SB–an “open” arrangement and an “exclusive” one. In the former, they can date whomever else and get half of the full allowance for an “exclusive” relationship. I have had SBs say they want to be exclusive yet catch them cheating red-handed. Honestly, it only matters if I care about someone and want them long-term, otherwise if they run off with someone else, good riddance. But also, if an SB who logs onto SA keeps cancelling/rescheduling meets, I will assume it’s for other SDs, and the relationship will be over at the end of the allowance period.
IRLSD: Thank you for your input in my letter. I can see where what I wrote would imply a genuine SD only wears Italian custom-made suits, but I certainly did not mean to come across that way. (My apologies!) My second SD, although he owned a multi-million dollar company, always wore jeans and t-shirts or polo shirts and he gave me the same (if not MORE, actually) experiences that my first one did.
Thank you for pointing that out, IRLSD, because I would definitely like to express that to all SBs searching for their ‘perfect’ SD. Yes, SBs, WONDERFUL SDs come in all shapes & sizes. They dress differently and they speak differently. Some may speak five languages and hold a PhD. Some may only have a high school education.
I’m really hitting the BJ tables now. I think I’m addicted to this…yikes!
Hey Elegant – yeah, I think you are right. I believe he was “used” in the past, so needs a little extra attention…
We’re seeing each other on Sunday, so I’ll be discussing this with him then. He’s really sweet and I like him, but I don’t “do” drama from a man. I’m sure we’ll move beyond it, but it was very frustrating…
ESB: Fabulous! Thank you for your email address. We should all get together very soon.
OCsugarbaby: I can see the point in toning down the stories as not to come across as a braggart. That makes sense. I am not a braggart by nature, but I am VERY OPEN and EXPRESSIVE so it has been killing me to keep this sugary secret all to myself! I think because I have not shared A SINGLE story with anyone other than my dedicated journal that travels with me everywhere, when I found you guys here in blog world, I was ready to explode! So are you recommending we don’t tell all? (to prevent resentments/jealousy?) I want to follow proper protocol and be as elegant as possible in all of my deliveries. hence, the name.
Eleg Sugar: could I get your email.
OMG NO ElegantSugar, tell tell tell. I just would explode too if I didn’t have someone to tell
Ok, back to work for me. I haven’t been able to think straight since James came back. Yes, James it is building my character to grow the relationship. He is wonderful to me.
I’ll be in FL this summer, for my parents 50th Anniversary! Kinda sad for me since my marriage ended about the same time as my 25th!!
Which reminds me… the count down is on.. less than 30 days ’til it’s official and I’ll have an “absolute” divorce, not just a “limited” one. Weird how I”m having mixed emotions about that now…
I think if I had a relationship, I’d have a hard time telling some of the details, too. I would want to share enough to encourage everyone who is going through what I have been (fakes and all), but at the same time would like to keep my SD feeling safe with me that I wouldn’t want anyone else knowing our business.
ocsugarbaby i hear you and understand your fluster.
as to your relationship, i think it’s always worth working through things with people to a certain point. when i look at the long term couples that really work they all have a certain ease. a certain something that involves respect and healthy communication and a genuine liking and fascination for each other.
to my mind, if it gets really difficult really fast there may be something else going on.
THAT SAID!!! as someone who recovered from pretty life sucking injuries i must caution you to expect your man to not be himself for a while. it’s amazing the effect of long term sleep deprivation caused by pain. try to remember the man you met before the crash because that man will come back someday; i know i did. very few people really stuck with me through that but all of them will be friends for life.
he will be less sunny and happy and more cranky and irritable… and there are ways to handle it. that said, don’t let your ‘toleration level’ get so high that you’re putting up with ill treatment.
sorry if i’ve overstepped but i think i’m pretty rare on the blog for my experience with long term injury recovery (and i do it for work too) though i know a few others are also healing things. (at least one of whom i owe an email to if i could just find it)
anyway feel free to ask me for my take on things but know that you are right, adversity builds character and travel through adversity increases bonding…
ESB that is what I struggle with. You nailed it
He does not know I blog nor will he ever. Yet, I know if he was to know of my secret escape he would trust my judgement in withholding details that would reveal either of our identities. I do enjoy the fact he calls me his girlfriend. It warms me to my toes
Oh, I would NEVER give out full details or names and have even fabricated the venue or designer name of gift when sharing my stories earlier. I will openly share, but always with the SD’s absolute discretion (especially if he is married) in mind always. My SD’s needs, desires, trust and comfort level will always come first and he will always know it.
How do you guys keep me on here???? I’m supposed to be downstairs losing winning/losing money or something! Wish someone would write and tell me they are in town too so I have a buddy to shop with tomorrow or at the very least coffee!!
2Chic: Yes, you can have my email address. OCsugarbaby has it. (Could you pass along OCB? Thanks, dear!)
Hello Sugar world!
I am brand new to this site. (technically, I was on here about two years ago) I am excited to meet someone new and I am learning a lot from all of your posts. I hope I can find someone just as amazing as the last man I was with! Anyone know of any gentlemen in the Los Angeles area? I’m going to link to my profile this time but I don’t know if I will in the future. Any comments on how I can improve my profile will be greatly appreciated!
OCSugarBaby- I love that “pinch me because this can’t be real” feeling. Sometimes it does take a friend to keep you grounded.
ESB congrats? Not sure that is the right thing to say. I have been there, it is a total mixed bag of emotions. How about just “here’s to a new beginning”
Now I am seriously thinking of heading to Vegas! ElegantSugar you made me want some bright lights and shopping to get me thru my funk… Hmmm…
ESB – it is closure – and not always an easy thing to attain even when you are ready for it..or maybe not so ready for it. It was all for a reason and I am sure you made the right choice for you and your daughter. {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} not an easy time in your life…
Thank you OC. I can’t put into words what I feel. But “to a new beginning” fits!
Vegas sounds fantastic. I think it’s warmer there!!
Ugh!!!
OC, Elegant,
you two are making me long for such treatment. No I am not jealous…well maybe a little..(hehehe) . Seriously I am happy for you. I am encouraged by your experiences, and do look forward to my own fairytale.
esb i was married for way way way less time than you were. such a short time and so long ago that i say single rather than divorced
either way, it’s a very strange feeling to venture out again when you think you’re done looking for life
be well in your quest/journey my friend
TT:Baby Girl hates when I leave for the weekends. She hates being with her dad. She sees the reasons I left. I try to keep peace between her and her dad, but it’s not always easy when I have some anger there. I do well, but my son handles it best. If I start to bad mouth his dad, he simply tells me “Mom, you need to shut up”! lol He’s right!
Anyway, glad someone understands. Thank you so much for your kinds words.
Vegas would be lovely…sigh
cleo: I’m done being stupid. I think that is the biggest adjustment I had to make. Dating the “wrong” guys. Doing things that goes agains everything I stand for. I’m slowly turning back into me, and not trying to be someone I’m not. Got all that “wild” out, and am happy with who I am again. I think my trip last weekend was a turning point. Just wish I had someone to share it with. Basic human need, and I’m just talking about companionship. Thank goodness for all my friends who have held my hand along the way. You all have been a great blessing too. Thank you!!
So Cal Blondie: Welcome to the blog.
SDN: glad to see you are here. You had me laughing so much earlier. You are just toooo funny!!
ESB: Just doing some lurking
But I hate to see a new blogger not welcomed to the group!
Cleo, what kind of injury do you have that you are dealing with?
i’ve now had time to re-read the earlier posts – very sorry to be a cause of the problems. Hopefully we can get along a tiny bit better.
Elegant – I own a house in Flagler Beach but don’t spend much time there, hence the name.
LASB, Gail, Photogirl, ESB – Hello ladies! Missed everyone.
VA-SB – i’m a tiny bit over-rated, but like Haley’s comet I am capable of great (and also bad) things. i’ll try and be a voice of calm from now on.
sorry if I missed anyone.
In terms of the fairy tales they do exist (ahem) BUT there are also the train wrecks and the fairy tales take a lot of work. I always thought a first sugar date is similar to a real date but I now think it differs in the following manner:
1 some SD’s want assurance that SB like them for them rather than money
2 SBs want to be romanced and to be treated like a lady instead of like a girfriends for rent or an escort
3 there’s generally a generational gap
4 with long distance there’s a culture gap – hey New Yorker’s are very different
5 there’s a comfort with money gap – generally SBs aren’t experienced with gala events, fine clothing, business people
6 Some SDs really think about work all the time including part of the time at dinner and getting them to switch off & have fun is key
7 there’s the secrecy & cover story issue
8 SD’s may not have dated for a long time and have to re-learn dating
9 SDs are generally super successful and used to getting their way and some can come over all business and arrogant
Trust me it’s hard to make a SD feel that you genuinely like them as they have a nagging feeling that it’s the money (some choose to turn that belief off) but overcoming it is tough.
Also the SD gives allowances and frankly expects ’stuff’ and it takes SBs a while to ‘warm up’ and there can be acrimony in the ‘warm up’ period. i’m rambling.
Cleo – I know transgender people and I generally refer to people by their name.
Lisa who actually has a SD – there is no spoon – joking!
You are right SDN, we are being rude. Welcome So Cal B. Good luck in your search!
So Cal Blondie: Welcome! I would suggest you break your profile into paragraphs. Also your fourth sentence, you need to change ‘long’ to ‘along’. Happy SD searching!!
SBs….come on over to Vegas, I have my own suite here so you can crash with me!! We’ll turn it into a party!
Elegant: there you go, tempting me with a party. tsk tsk tsk.. I’ll have to turn you down, darlin. Got plans with a couple SBs this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it!
(wow, that sounded kinda kinky!) Just to meet them and have some sugar fun. Will be nice to talk to someone who knows what we all go through, and commiserate! (better;) )
Flo Rida’s ‘list’ was so perfect!!! I don’t think there is anything I could add.
Ok, beautiful Sugars…my pot SD just called. We are meeting now to hit the casino floors before a show and a movie! I was supposed to be gambling while he was in meetings, but instead, I was right here with you guys!
Had fun with everyone…
Later, suga sugas!
flo: any advice on #6? maybe a hint or 2? I’d have trouble with that one.
I meant a show and dinner…
Bye!!
Hi Flo Rida! Thanks for the welcome!
I do need to preak my information into paragraphs. Thanks for helping me out!
ElegatSugar- Good luck with your pot. I’m going to be in vegas on the 14th!
ESB i’ve had whiplash seven times, the last one took me out and caused me to have to rebuild pretty much every muscle in my body before i could move like myself again.
i would complain about the shittiness of it but truly i describe it as the most horrible positive experience that i’ve ever had.
.
elegant sugar i wish you had given me more notice and i would have flown in
.
flo: me too, but still there are times when pronouns are useful
Sorry, SoCal Blondie..I didn’t see you there. Welcome!
Good evening everyone. Staying off the computer tonight, been in bed since I got home from work. Not feeling any better, have a slight fever and chills, still can’t eat. I have to save all my ener