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Decoding Sugar World Jargon
  • Posted Jun 1, 2011
  • Written by Brandon Wade

Decoding Sugar World Jargon:

From RC msb:

Light Smoker……..I smoke cigarettes with the word ‘Light’ on the package.

Social drinker……..Either ‘I only drink when others are drinking’
or ‘I need a few rounds in me just to be social’

Distinguished……..Older

Discreet…………….’I have a spouse’ or ‘I’ll hide from your spouse’

Successful…………Rich

NSA………….…….I am on the right site.

LTR………….……..I might be on the wrong site

Soul mate………….I am definitely on the wrong site.

Sponsor…………….I will probably Not have sex with you

Sexy………………..I will probably have sex with you.

Passionate…….…..I will definitely have sex with you.

Open minded….…..I will engage in sex that is illegal in Alabama.

Kinky……………….Handcuffs may be involved.

Erotic………………..I will bang you till your bleeding out your eyes.

Test Drive…………….I just want to bang you and then dissapear like a fart in the wind.

“Couldn’t find my true love on Match, thought I’d give this site a whirl”……….Dumber than a can of Tinker Toys.

************

From Honey:

Rubenesque……….. Fat

Thick……………………..Fat

NSA…………………….. I just want to fuck you and never talk to you again.

“I deserve…”………… I can easily find another guy who will take me out to eat

Ads from the web:

Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and fish giblet gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks!

Don’t Piss Me Off and Read this Ad!
Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked crossdressing infielder. Like screaming and marking territory with urine? Let’s make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. You bring the salsa.

************

From SDinLA:

Princess……………….Entitled.

“I deserve”……………Entitled.

“spoil me”……………..Entitled.

“I’m not a gold digger”…………………………I’m a gold digger.

“I’m not materialistic”…………………………..I’m materialistic.

“I have expensive tastes”……………………I have a $3k per night drug habit.

“A friend told me about this site”. ………..Saw it on Craiglist when I was looking for a hookup.

(In the old days when SA advertised on CL -or- “It came up on the first page when I googled ‘Sugar Daddy’”)

“I’ve never done this before”………………My pimp usually handles all my bookings.

“I take pride in my appearance and work out regularly”…….I am narcissistic and shallow.

NSA ………………..I am fine with Pay to Play

Listed age/Real age
18-25………….18-25
27-29………….32-35
early 30s……..late 30s

Height under 5’9″ + “model”……………. you can find naughty photos of me if you pay to join certain websites.

Skeezy pornstar profile photos + “student”………..If I put down “pornstar” only the perverts and Dirty Old Men will message me.

“In need of immediate assistance”……………I owe my drug dealer a lot of money -or- I am a compulsive shopper/gambler/whatever and am in way over my head in debt.

“Package deal”/”Two for one”/”My hot friend and I”…………When we get you in a hotel room, our Russian gangster associates will burst in and help us blackmail/rob you.

“Bi/Looking for a SD or SM”………………I’m a lesbian but the car needs to be repaired and I have bills to pay so I can put up with a penis if you give me money.

Passionate ……………..I have a temper

Drama free………………you get lots of drama, for free

Classy……………………..but keep in mind I also think the people on Jersey Shore are classy.

Looking for Mr. Right/true love/marriage………….Lacks in reading comprehension

I have high standards/am picky……………………….you’d better have a really big wallet if you’re not hot

Sophisticated…………………………..I prefer TMZ to Perez Hilton for my celebrity gossip

I just recently ended a fantabulous arrangement when my SD moved abroad…….. ……………..My SD dumped me because I am batshit crazy and if I say he moved abroad you can’t check up on my story.

**************

From Midwest Mistress of the Dark SB:

Separated…………….Married, but trying to clear my conscience.

Bad Boy……………….Man who calls you names when you ask for an allowance.

Mature………………….Over 60.

Former Rocker……..Still living in mom’s basement playing drums with high school buddies.

**************

From DallasBaby:

First time sugar daddy……….No one has ever gotten a red cent of me YET !

First time sugar baby…………I’ve been giving it away every night for free at local bars.

I am fixed…………………………..No condom sex.

D&D Free………………………….Do you “Seriously” think I would tell you I do drugs and have HIV ?

No drama………………………….You better not have any problems as I have enough of my own already and i’m all that matters anyway.

420 friendly……………………….You will be on you knees til 4:20 am working my viagra lincoln log !

This is not match.com………..Looking for a fast chic who puts out right away!

Lets meet for coffee or drinks………..I want to spend little time and money to find out if you will sleep with me free.

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From Michael Alleycat:

420 friendly………………….I’ll be so off my face there’ll be no sex tonight, or any night….

*****************

From LASB:

a few extra pounds …………….. fat in a way you can’t deny it
athletic ………………  fat like a line backer
average ………………. fat like the average American
slim ………………. average according American medical standards

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*A very special thanks to all the sugars who contributed! Thank you Midwest SB for suggesting the page and RC msb for collecting and organizing the various decoders!*


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11 Responses to “Decoding Sugar World Jargon”

  1. jake3_14 says:

    This is useful and hilarious (in a dark way)! Thanks for the laughs and the warnings.

  2. SD Guru says:

    @Alli
    Do I keep probing and asking how much before I meet him? Should wait until I meet him and then I tell him I would like the money before I agree to sleep in his hotel room?

    Like most newbie SB’s you’re putting the cart before the horse and overlooking common sense. Given the situation you described, there are more important questions you should be asking yourself before worrying about these two money questions you posed. Such as, will there be chemistry and compatibility when you meet? Are you comfortable with sleeping with a stranger you just met?

    he wants me to stay in his hotel room… He said he would be fine with just sharing the bed and if anything did happen that’s fine too.

    If that’s the case and he really doesn’t care what happens, then why does he want you to share the bed at all??

    I made it clear I wanted financial help and he said he would be generous and give me an amount I would be pleased with.

    That’s a non answer. Does the amount depend on what happens in bed??

    Thoughts? What would you do?

    Is he in town for one night only or longer? How often does he come to town? Do you care if this turns out to be an one time “pay for play” and you never see him again? Generally speaking, a first meeting is for both sides to get to know each other and see if there is mutual interest to proceed further. If he’s in town longer and he comes to visit often, then there is potential for an on-going arrangement and there shouldn’t be a rush to share the bed during the first meeting. Otherwise it’s just a p4p situation and it’s up to you whether that’s something you want.

  3. maedonahue says:

    These comments are so true and thought of a few of my own too!!!

  4. NYCGoddess says:

    May I ask a question? What EXACTLY does “No Drama” mean?? I take it as “Don’t tell my wife or go all Fatal Attraction on me and put down the crack pipe honey and if I get a call from your pimp, we’re going to have a serious problem.” Okie dokie, that’s a no-brainer. But other than that, that term is relatively subjective, isn’t it? One person’s idea of “drama” may actually be another person’s rightful concern. Thoughts?

  5. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    Maedonahue – Feel free to share…we all love a good laugh!

    NYCGoddess – yes, it is relative. However a few minor offenses could include:
    1- Pouting when he/she can’t see you when you want or spontaneously
    2- Whining if he/she cancels (unless it’s become an issue)
    3- Creating a scene or fighting when the end comes…just depart quietly
    4- Lack of understanding when family issues create an inconvenience
    5- Making her ask for her allowance/ gifts instead of being proactive.

    You get the idea. It’s supposed to be fun. Anything that detracts from that can often be considered drama.

  6. Midwest SB aka Cougarlicious says:

    A few more

    6- Canceling regularly or being more than 15 mins late regularly
    7- Dressing inappropriately or in a way that brings unwanted attention
    8- Having excuses for everything

    I could go on and on!

  7. Ana says:

    :::Grabs pen and paper:::

  8. SteamSugar says:

    Hey sugars
    lmao at some of the sugar jargon translations broke me out of my funk

  9. Ana says:

    These are all too funny!

  10. lynette gonzales says:

    I am new to this, what does NSA stand for?

  11. NewYorkGirl says:

    NSA
    No strings attached .
    no feeling attached?
    He can drop you without explanations and still have clean conscious . :(
    :(

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