“I take screening to another level. We all have “haves” and “have nots”, but then you want to make sure this person is genuine. Part of that is done via communication and some is homework. Sometimes (not all) a genuine SD is willing to let you know who he is, what he does, etc and you can verify it on the internet. There are also free public records (in the US) that help confirm is someone is from a particular area. Lastly, you can search e-mail addresses and cell phones to see if they have posted them on CL or other sites where you may learn he’s into pros or BDSM. I just recently learned you can use tineye dot com to reverse search images to see if he/she lifted an image from somewhere else.
The communication side of things include asking open-ended questions such as:
1- Have you ever had an sb before?
2- What did/didn’t you like?
3- How long have you been on SA? What was your experience so far?
4- What do you see as your ideal arrangement?
5- Why is he looking here instead of other sites?
6- What is he looking for in a lady?
You get the idea. Ask the question, then do nothing but listen intently. Resist the urge to respond until you are sure he is done talking. You will learn a great deal from his reply. You will find out what a mutually beneficial arrangement is in his mind. You will find out if he is comfortable giving an allowance. If he’s new, find out what he knows and how he decided to join SA. Don’t be offended if he doesn’t have a full grasp on it yet, but instead invite him to the blog. Red flags will come up naturally…trust your instincts and know that if it sounds questionable there is a high likelihood it is questionable.
Mind you – don’t drill him with every question. Just ask a few that appeal to you and incorporate them into the conversation. Even add, “if I were your sb, what would make you happiest?” while asking the others to keep him from feeling interviewed or defensive. If you don’t understand a reply, ask him to clarify in a curious fashion. Some people skip this and go straight to the meet, but I have found it to be very useful in my approach and I’ve managed to stay away from the flakes. We’ve all had different experiences, so do what works best for you. Overall, be SAFE!”
- Midwest SB