2 years ago
Don’t Fall In Love With Your Sugar Daddy
  • Posted Oct 19, 2012
  • Views 10080
  • Written by JennSA

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There’s a reason why sugar and love are not usually mentioned in the same sentence. In a traditional relationship, you aspire to love, and by default transpire drama (which is why you may have ended up here in the first place).  But sugar is meant to be a fantasy, an alternate reality that is absent of the normal drama that comes with love. You enter into a sugar relationship knowing exactly what you are going to get out of it, and exactly what to give. It’s supposed to be an arrangement; you’re not supposed to fall in love. But we all know things don’t always go according to plan…

 

When love replaces lust in a sugar arrangement, it’s hard to know what to do. Whether your Sugar Daddy is married, or you and your Sugar Baby agreed to an NSA arrangement, someone is bound to get hurt if your feelings don’t match your sugar partner’s. Which is why your arrangement should be carefully discussed upfront, and all scenarios presented before you enter a sugar arrangement. If your Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby has made it clear that a romantic relationship is not in the realm of possibility, then don’t set yourself up for a heartache.

Here’s what some of you had to say about love in terms of sugar:

“Am I the only one that realizes that sugar is it’s own little fantasy and has dangerous consequences in the real world? This goes for both sexes. When emotions get carried away, things get messy…drama gets involved….and inevitably people get hurt. IMHO, taking sugar and trying to make it into something real defeats the purpose of sugar. If you want strings, why not have a mistress or a girlfriend? Would you risk your marriage, your family, your assets for the hope that sugar becomes real? It may work for the .01% but we all know that’s the exception. I want to believe in happily ever after, but I am not convinced the sugar bowl is the place. – Midwest SB (May 2010)

“Your best bet for a long term, faithful mate who remains interested only in you would be a well bred Labrador or Golden Retriever puppy. The downside is, of course, that there is no sugar, just an abundance of love. “ -flyr (June 2012)

“When going into a relationship with a married SD – you have to know you can’t fall in love. Yes, support him, care for him, enjoy your time together, enjoy each other – but don’t fall in love. I know many times that’s easier said than done…but, it’s a mind-set you have to have. I know it’s hard to keep deep emotions out of any relationship, but this isn’t an IRL relationship. It is, at heart, an arrangement. I’m not the girlfriend, I’m not a candidate for the next Mrs., I’m someone to spend time with and that time will be nothing but enjoyable.” – CA Dreamin SB (December 2009)

……………………………….

Don’t get us wrong, we love a happy ending! We have been invited to many sugar weddings over the years, and nothing makes us happier than two people who found love on our site. But it’s the exception to the rule, and setting yourself up with unrealistic expectations will only hurt you in the long run. So be honest, tell the truth and fall in love with sugar, not your Sugar Daddy (or Baby).

 

Have you fallen in love with your Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby?

How do you deal with unrequited love in a sugar arrangement?

Do you think love and sugar can coexist?

 


125 Responses to “Don’t Fall In Love With Your Sugar Daddy”

  1. Jennifer says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. Stormcat says:

    Well I am the benchmark disaster example of this topic. I’ve tried it with three SBs and none have worked out anywhere close to good. But I’m not sure if it’s the site or just me. I guess I expect things to come too easily.

  3. Blogbaby says:

    I have been on this blog, but unfortunately have to write this time under another blog name (the subject is delicate, especially if my SD will see it)

    This is the MOST important thing in a sugar relationship. NEVER fall in LOVE with your Sugardaddy. You can love, respect and develop a friendship, but not actually “falling in love”.

    I have to say, that I have been pretty successful in a SB/SD relationship and NOT falling in love. For one, I am choosing ONLY those men, with whom I can not fall in love.
    But, from what I have understood, even though all men at the first place come to SA looking for an arrangement, in a way, all of them are looking for love and devotion from a woman they are with (and not necessary are ready to give back the same).
    And, unfortunately “love” sells better. All men are little boys, who still like to believe in a fairy tale.

    So, I have been quite good with creating the illusion of love. I know what a person in love should do… So I recreate it. A lot of the time, when I am with my SD, every move of mine, every word and every look is thought over. Like looking at him with in-love eyes during dinner, with my mouth slightly open, my hand caressing his. Not because I am really feeling like this, but because that is the thing I have to do to keep him. Unfortunately rich people, not just men, are paranoid that everyone else is with them just for their money. And in sugar world, if a SD thinks this way, you are not going to last 3 dates.
    How good I am in what I do? Well, good. Cash, presents and even a 5* holiday for all of my family, amounting close to $25000 for 2 weeks. Do you think that would have happened to someone who would “just like” a person?

    Is it fair? No, it is not. But then, a Sugar relationship isn’t fair all together. In the end, he will leave. No matter how much you “love” him. And you do not want to end up with a broken heart.

  4. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Never give up hope Stormcat.

    I believe that all good relationships have some form of emotional connection. It is unavoidable not to have some feeling of some description.

    Lust, Fun, to Love and something more serious ……
    It is when one person wants more than the the other and the expectations and boundaries move, when it can become painful

    So many fantastic memories though.

  5. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Good Morning to you All !!

  6. GenuineSD says:

    I agree, the discussion of boundaries is important. I’ve been through the scenario where the boundaries shifted… Then shifted back. We never recaptured the same chemistry… It was a tribute to the long term nature of the arrangement that it continued on for another year… But something subtle was lost…
    Gotta know what you want going in… State it clearly.., make sure there’s comprehension…

  7. RussianSB says:

    It’s supposed to be an arrangement, you’re not supposed to fall in love. Here we are !
    1. Women tied very close to their mentors and providers, always, and it is natural process, never forget that fact Sugardaddys, you can discuss boundaries every day – it will change nothing. LTR 1 or 2 years , and lady, for sure, fall in love. If not, she is not woman, she is robot.
    2. Once, my the best sugar travel partner propose to me, not from big love, but he decide that I will be perfect wife. So, I explane, that I am perfect girlfriend for one week and very loyal to his naughty moods, but as a wife I am not going to smile and be nice every time when he goes wrong.
    3. My friend have married SD, they really in love with each other, lots of drama, year 4.
    And both the same age. But she start thinking wise last time – she said ”I have the best part – we don’t have everyday routine as married couple, he treats me very special, all romance is mine (they spent 1 week at Seyshellas, and 2 weeks at Tenerife this summer), and as 40 y.o. I don’t feel that I want sparckle and perform every day for him ”.
    And his wife not pay attention to husband emotionally and sexually, that make sugar connection even better from all poins of wiew.

    It is very easy to tie woman by money means, or with sexual ancor (only if sex is the best).
    So, to avoid, SB fall in love for you, here some tips :
    - sex must be worse than averege ;
    - play with allowance numbers each month – make her nervous and hating you, and delay it a little everytime ;
    - make empty promices here and there.
    Some boys stick to my programme and already very good at that :)
    But perfect SDs always at risk !!!

  8. RussianSB says:

    I re-insert it from last blog, it is not about love, but who care about love in modern world.
    One rock star singing : ”Don’t tell me that you love me, tell me that you want me , baby ! ”

    Just come across some research lines and I know the blog where it can be disscused !
    “Research by Arvalea Nelson indicates that consistently or…ic women tend to describe themselves as contented, good-natured, insightful, self-confident, independent, realistic, strong, capable, and understanding while non-or…ic women tend to describe themselves as bitter, despondent, dissatisfied, distrustful, fussy, immature, inhibited, prejudiced, and sulky.”

  9. twiceshy says:

    @RussianSB
    *gazes at RussainSB* sooo…just 1 or 2 years to be in love? mmmm….

    How did you know he didn’t propose out of an undying love and infatuation?

  10. Theresa says:

    This may be hard for me, I fall in love (or at least lust) with everybody!! I haven’t found a S/D yet, but knowing me, I’ll probably fall in love with him.
    Any advice?

    d DD

  11. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    My thoughts are, lots of people start with all good intentions and it works. They do not go out of their way to fall for another but sometimes it just happens.

    Best advice I can give Theresa is to always remember the agreement made initially. Those boundaries are there to protect each person. It doesnt mean to say there are no feeling involved but there should be no expectations beyond that. People can only talk it through and take it from there. We are all vulnerable to emotions and in life we all learn to deal with the good and the not so good ones in our own ways.

    Life is a funny thing :-)

  12. RussianSB says:

    @Theresa, it is woman’s nature, you can’t help it, and those SDs can be so attentive to your needs and secret wishes, use all their connections to help you out with paper problems, kids, health, divorses, carreer promotions etc. If you will meet real SD, you will see that it is mix of ideal man and Bond007 and never you will agree to have connection with someone out of that League. It is not problem at all, men have huge ego and they like that attractive women have warm feelings for them, problems starts if ladies start to send romantic messeges at 3 a.m. :)

  13. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Oh RussianSB. If you know Bond007, please send him this way. I wouldnt mind having him

    Yummy xx

  14. RussianSB says:

    @Twiceshy – we never use L-word, and never behave like that, and he propose me with words ”anyway I won’t find someone better than you …” Now he is dating woman of his age, we change calls and letters sometimes and he remind me that ” one day I make you an offer you cannot refuse ”.
    I am professional SB, misstress, trophy wife so I can change only status but not life-style. When I don’t have SD I do have well-paid job, when I have SD I don’t have job becose I must be available when he is available. And absolutely no games – soboring to be with me ! So,when he propose, he knew what the marriage waiting for him :)

  15. emerald says:

    So, I have a question for everyone out there:

    I met a potential, he was great. Email turned to text, which turned to phone. He was very good in the beginning wwith answering fairly quickly. He promised to make it to meet me last Wednesday. At 5pm, he told me he was still tied up in meetings and couldn’t make his 530 flight. I was ok with it, but asked him to please not make plans he couldn’t keep. To make up for it, he said he sent me a chanel bag (I have yet to receive it). He promises to come Friday. On Thursday I ask him to confirm whether he’s coming or not. He doesn’t answer my text message within 5hours. I send another one. He apologizes and tells me he will call at 10pm. He didn’t. The next day, I text him again. Same story… Reads the text, but doesn’t answer until I send another one in which I have a slightly annoyed tone. He apologizes, says he will call or text, does nothing of the above. Finally he says(12h later) that he can’t come, will be sure to make a 3pm plane. I tell him I am excited to meet him. No answer. Send another text, no answer. So last night I dumped him, saying that respect was very big for me… That I don’t ask for much, except to call when he says he will, do not ignore. Texts and please do not flake at the last moment. I haven’t heard back from him.

    Question: did I overreact?

  16. RussianSB says:

    Interesting who is your type, English rose Lady Vuitton : young Seon Connery, Brosnan, Dalton, Moore ??

  17. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Young Connery would be number one, he was the Bond, followed by Brosnan and Craig is not doing a bad job :-)

    I just adore men in suits and Tux and they all wear them well.

    Of course they may have a few other good attributes

    Who is your Russian SB?

  18. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Emerald, I think you gave this person lots of opportunities and you were clear about asking him to let you know .

    I would say you did the right thing. He would have to make up for it in big style.

  19. emerald says:

    Thank you vuitton. So many poof daddies out there. I don’t understand why people want to waste time like that. If they have a change of heart, I think it’s much more mature to TELL the other person, instead of stringing them along.

    I just didn’t know if I was supposed to keep my mouth shut on things like this, or not. I think it’s completely disrespectful, but I also know this is supposed to be no drama.

  20. GenuineSD says:

    @Emerald. You didn’t overreact. You are correct that respect should be a given.
    It seems that communication is one of the biggest areas of issue for both men @ women here.
    It’s frustrating when good communication starts to fade out.
    I always give the benefit of the doub, t but at some point one has to look at poor communication and missed appointments as indicative of a lack of interest, respect or honesty. Especially if you two were planning a first meet !
    Communicating well is part of “putting your best foot forward” and is part of building trust and confidence in each other. Sounds like you made a good choice.

  21. NC Gent says:

    Emerald – you didn’t overreact. In fact, I would say you were much too patient. I suspect the guy is a fake and was just stringing you along. Sorry about your experience

  22. RussianSB says:

    LadyVuitton !!! Same – yong Seon Connery is sex symbol. Brosnan, just perfect male ideal looks, Moore not attractive, Dalton -loks like Russian actually, not like British (!).
    Craig – my friend been in same sailing with him, said ladies avoid him , coze he is narccistic and boring person, and as Bond he is also worst :(

  23. RussianSB says:

    @Emerald – that is web decease – anonimity – people use bad language staying anonymus, and they poof last moment, boys – their plans change, girls – not in the mood this day or have skin problems. But serious man never act like that – so it is also part of screening process. You are lucky he poofs. You never will recieve Chanel bag – it is also will show to you that he plot this joke from the begining and ,dear, have a thick skin.

  24. Flyer says:

    @emerald. My guess is that he was pursuing several and juggling to keep them all in play. T
    Here are times when business interferes but if that happens then the second attempt should be a time when his risk of needing to cancel was really low

  25. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    You are my favorite professional SB. No nonsense. No bullshit. Good information without hurting people intentionally. And very accomodating from what I have read in your posts. Awesome.

    @Stormcat
    Don’t give up. RussianSB has outlined how sb’s fall in love. Maybe you can use her formula. I don’t know what guidelines you’d put in your profile to weed out some of the more subtle red flags. I do know that if you’re a romantic, try to be as picky as possible, you’ll almost inevitably fall for the next one that gets over 50% of your hard list.

    @Theresa
    Keep your profile and pics at the best level possible, and still be prepared to wait. NOTE: If you fall in love really easily, you may at least want to put the “looking for longterm with poss of serious relationship” or just go straight for “looking for serious relationship with established man”. Before any of you start to flame me for the whole “sugar” idea, we all know there are some classy men looking for a classy woman seeking LTR. Theresa, you may have people tell you that this isn’t the right site for it, but I already know one male example. Better to know yourself, and be prepared. RussSB made a very good point, and even she may not be immune to L under the right circumstances. Besides, Match.com doesn’t have an income check box do they?

    @Emerald
    Poof is sometimes just part of the system. Girls and guys do it, young and old. It happens. It’s annoying as hell. Some people just aren’t ready. Sometimes it may be you. Remember this day, and try not to be the poof to someone else when you really think you should. And as always, just keep swimming.

    @Everyone
    “This is the nature of the universe. We struggle against it, we fight to deny it; but it is of course a lie. Beneath our poised appearance we are completely out of control.”

  26. Honey says:

    hello all! Been super busy. Hope all are doing well! I am!

  27. RussianSB says:

    Tequila, thank you for your warm words, I am deeply mooved. And, yes, it is stupid to discuss boundaries of relationship (sugar IS a relationship also) while nor boys nor girls cannot control their emotions. The only border is when man honestly tell in the beginning that he is married and not going to divorse and even here he can change his mind.
    I am convinced now that American culture lost something very important, if such a natural courtesy between lovers as gifts and pumpering, man offering to a woman, is not popular and judjed by society lifestyle. In Russia we don’t have ”Sugar”words describing relationship,we call people with such arrengement ”lovers” (coze not married to each other) and sugar is normal and natural part of that arrangement. NSA – even impossible to translate into Russian , on dating sites they find nothing better than ”not broking into each others private lifes” and in Russian it sound very long and not natural . To keeping that way treating women and women also said they want be treated like that, sexes equal rights etc. Just doomed nation,like dinosaures :(

  28. RussianSB says:

    Tequila, even you not comment my post about orgasmic women !
    Or everybody just stop reading after word ”research” ?

  29. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Rusiian SB.
    Who did this research?
    what university or research group ?
    you think/ believe a person personality so close related to the intensity / ability of orgasm ?

  30. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    I can see your quote at OK Cupid web site.
    did you read the whole article? if you can write/ give link to the article please.

  31. RussianSB says:

    @I LoveWestCoastGirl, I put it for fun, not for serious thinking. I am surprised boys not comment it. Have you never notice a connection between woman’s behavoir and satisfaction ?

  32. flyr says:

    @emerald “I just didn’t know if I was supposed to keep my mouth shut on things like this, or not. I think it’s completely disrespectful, but I also know this is supposed to be no drama.”

    Sorry this happened. With the state of the airlines today and the challenges of sugar dating I would add to the next experience checklist a request that he report in on a couple of milestones as appropriate for the situation as a matter of courtesy. ie On the way to the airport , checked in From that point you can go to flightaware.com and see how the flight is doing. Not the BS the airline feeds you but where is the airplane now.

    On the last point of having your final word – do what you need to get him out of your mind. Your mission is not to convert him to a decent human but to terminate. For some being told they are a loathsome looser is mentally processed as good thing that I dumped the bitch.

    If your are still conversing on SA then block them . Go do something nice for yourself and get on with lift knowing that you were lucky to discover the truth early.

  33. Midwest SB says:

    Good morning sugars! It’s Fall and it’s beautiful outside!

    Re: Falling in love

    It’s happened even with boundaries or expectations that it’s never going to happen. The reality is that you’ve fallen in love with part of a person…the part that has no drama, no issues, who dedicates him/herself to you for the few days that you are together before you both return to reality. When that reality sneaks in, it’s no longer “sugary sweet” regardless of the perks that come with the relationship. What is unfair is when one partner is married or unavailable and they are disappointed that you “valet your heart” instead of diving into that abyss of disappointment. Sugar is intoxicating and you have to know when to say “when”.

    I know sugars who have transitioned to traditional relationships successfully and I know it can work. It all comes down to being ready, being realistic and being available.

    Russian SB – I, too, am becoming a big fan!

  34. Midwest SB says:

    PS – Intense, orgasmic women and intensity of the relationship….it’s true. I’m multi-orgasmic and some are pretty intense. I also have some serious skills that leave a man wanting more. (I know how conceited it sounds, but it’s true and related to the topic :) ) I think it’s a huge ego boost to a man to be with a woman who is that intense in bed and he is quickly smitten. Now…not all men can deliver the same results, but it’s still a compliment to him that I am having such a good time.

  35. flyr says:

    Saving the Economy

    Little noticed in the war of words and spin that is the Presidential election cycle is the fact that the administration ceased publishing information on how they were doing with the stimulus program. Despite the fact that they are required to publish quarterly data they ceased a couple cycles ago when the cost of the stimulus per job (direct and indirect ) created or “saved” was approaching $400,000/ per job. As you have probably heard thousands of the jobs have already disappeared. .

    My suggestion is that they turn over the entire program to Midwest and a few of her friends and that the government provide matching funds for sugar relationships on a 1/3 – 2/3 basis. Thus, for every dollar the SD contributed the government would contribute $2 up to some maximum, perhaps $2,500 per month. Instead of spending $400,000 on one job that will be gone when the government loan funds are spent, the same amount would subsidize a sugar relationship for 200 months.

    But it only gets better as most SB’s will recycle the money into investments in education, wardrobe, hair, the stock market , rent or home ownership etc. Not much of the money will leak out to China , rather it will stay in our economy. Perhaps a few foreign trips and cars, but most of the travel will be within the USA. Money will flow into the Main Street .

    No longer would there be so few real SD’s here as new SD’s would leap at the opportunity to enjoy a great relationship. Economic recovery would be just around the corner.

    Most all of us who pay taxes are, in effect, about $50,000 further in debt for just the federal and state deficits incurred over the past 4 years, Wouldn’t it be better for all of us if the money had gone to the SB’s of America rather than Wall Street and the Bankers.

  36. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    “or…ic” ? This word was censored at the time of the article. Since men don’t take hints, my brain simply put the paragraph on hold until you filled in the blank LOL (I actually read it the first time you wrote it. The word “research” usually does not stop me.) Yes, I have noticed a connection between behavior and satisfaction. I’ve also believe that it moves the other way as well, because no one wants to have sex with a multi-orgasmic lady if she’s a real bitch…not for very long anyway.

    I also try to factor environment into the equation. I honestly believe that if a woman was on a desert island with the same man and no money, no prada, no ferrari, no relationship labels, no other women for either of them to impress, that they would find a way to be extremely happy together (until another man or woman or society found them.)

  37. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Flyer

    Of course, the number of good, responsible SB’s is heavily outnumbered by a majority of SB’s that really wouldn’t put the money to the good uses you outlined. This 90% would invest much of it into trips, high-depreciation material goods, and high-risk red flag investments ( like bad relationships.) Once this has potentially been exhausted, they would then rally and march on the MidwestSB 10%, claiming that the gov’t got them accustomed to a different lifestyle and now since the gov’t wasn’t helping anymore, that the Midwest10ers should equally share what’s left of theirs.

  38. RussianSB says:

    I can imagine Sugar REHAB :) as a goverment programme !
    I’d like participate at AA programme (in Russia it is huge problem , we have 800 years drinking tradition), but now I see what is God’s plan for me :)

  39. California SB says:

    Falling in love for your SD is like falling in love for a married man…. you’re asking for trouble. Love is a dangerous subject on its own. I think love is so dangerous like this because it makes us do irrational things. And when your brain is so intoxicated with all that love drug…. you only make mistakes. So, don’t love and text, don’t love and drive and don’t love and sugar. No sir.

  40. Nawty Molly says:

    Hello all! Back from my trip and I had a great time! :D

  41. Nawty Molly says:

    Time to catch up on the blog!

  42. Honey says:

    Hi, Molly and Hi, Russian Sb, the blog looks like it is going gangbusters!

  43. emerald says:

    These idiots always poof–second dude within a month. Reaching my wits end. No one knows basic communication is a common courtesy on this site. And if I don’t want to talk to someone again, I always have the consideration to tell me. It’s sad they can’t extend the same courtesy to me, that I do to them. We’ll see about the chanel bag. I’ll let you know if it arrives, but given his track record, I am not holding my breath, even though he insists he sent it.

  44. GenuineSD says:

    @ California SB “don’t love and drive”…,
    Reminds me of a late night drive along the beach in my youth…. Lol

    Kidding aside, I agree with your comment and Midwest’s, too…
    It’s a mine field …

    And in reality sugar dates usually only reveal the very best part of a relationship.., its a little oasis in time…

    So we enjoy it for what it is, for as long as it lasts…

  45. California SB says:

    GenuineSD: “late night drive along the beach”

    I think that kind of love and drive is OK :D

  46. California SB says:

    I put 100K miles in my brand new car in 3 years for love. Still wondering if was worth it….

  47. California SB says:

    I’ve probably sent hundreds of thousands of lovie-dovie texts and in the same 3 years and spend hundreds of hours on the phone too. I don’t know, love is a wacky thing.

  48. JustATequilaSD says:

    @CaliSB
    ” It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.”

    @Honey
    Welcome back, it’s been a while.

    @Nawty Molly
    Welcome back, hope you had a nice trip. Where’d you go? Were you checking out your relocation options?

  49. Sugar Kat says:

    @CaliforniaSB You are so right! Don’t love and sugar! I love it! My main sugar daddy jokes around and says if he were 25 years younger he would marry me in a heartbeat! I have to try hard not falling in love with him at times!

    @Midwest SB That is awesome! Good for you. Unfortunately never had any orgasms with my SD. Never had any orgasms from sex period. Sex and love go hand in hand. The SD mentioned I break out some toys and he wants to watch me cum… Ok! lol

  50. California SB says:

    JustATequilaSD: The most insane thing is that I still love him. What sets me free is when I met my Daddies. The fact he doesn’t know about this part of my life, makes me feel independent of his love. I tried braking up with him several times. I just can’t do it. He already told me he won’t marry me. What am I still with him? He is just too handsome, too hot and so adorable. I know, I am an idiot.

  51. Tina says:

    @AM and Midwestie Babe: MWWWWWAAAAAAAAAA ladies! Good to see you back!

    @AM: how are things dearie? How’s the SD search? How was the trip? Oooohhhh, tell all! :)

    @Midwestie Babe: I SO definitely want to be you when I grow up now! Ooohhh the tingles! ;)

  52. flyr says:

    @Honey welcome back How are the chickens doing?

  53. JustATequilaSD says:

    @CaliSB
    As much as I hate to say it, typical of your age range and beauty, the guy that you can’t have is the one you pine for. I still have people from my past that I may see a picture and touch on a poignant memory. As years pass, and the parties start to become monotonous, you’ll see past him, and hopefully can find the guy that will fold into each other totally giving, yet at the same time can tell you “no”. This type of balance is beautiful. The good, bad boy.

  54. Midwest SB says:

    I have to believe that there are more than 10% of SBs who use their allowance responsibly. Of the ones that I have met, more than 10% have invested in a portfolio, their business, school, their home,etc. and have still allowed a little extravagance that we crave. On the flip side, I remember one who would spend money on waxing, hair styles, new shoes, purse and outfit before she went on a first date with a potential…she didn’t last long. I tend to believe the long-lasting SBs are the ones who have goals and want to reach that goal before sugar runs out. :-)

  55. Midwest SB says:

    Tina – Mwaaaaahhhh! Lots of tingles!!!

    Flyer – I bet even Obama has an SB! Maybe he would buy into your plan!

    CaliSB – I’m kind of in the same boat. I have been dating someone for two years who I love in spite of myself. Love knows no logic and turns a strong woman into mush. I even tried to eliminate all contact for 60 days….it lasted for 21 days until he contacted me. The other part of it is that there are few men my age or older who a) are marriage material and b) want to go back to raising kids. That leaves me (us) with the rest. Every time I go on a new date with someone, it starts out fine, then I can’t get out of the room fast enough….even if he’s someone I find interesting. My bff has met an amazing man a few years ago, so somewhere I still hold a glimmer of hope.

  56. JustATequilaSD says:

    @MidwestSB
    It wasn’t an actual figure, it was more along the lines of semi-joking as rebuttal to Flyr’s idea. Of course most of the sb’s you know will figure out what to do with the sugar. You’d do your best to inspire them in the right direction if they weren’t sure.

  57. JustATequilaSD says:

    @MidwestSB
    You can’t leave the room fast enough because you are thinking about the 2 year dating guy?

  58. California SB says:

    Mid: I even tried to eliminate all contact for 60 days….it lasted for 21 days

    I just broke up with him one hour ago. I might have to throw my phone away. I can’t stop looking at his texts. I hate being a girl sometimes….

  59. Midwest SB says:

    CaliSB – You can text me instead. Don’t beat yourself up over it. There are apps that will block his messages and you can have his calls go straight to voicemail or use a silent ringtone for his contact. Here’s one important lesson I’ve learned…if you wait longer and longer to respond, but DO respond, then he will try harder and harder to get you to respond. If you DON’T respond, he will go away. He will have one major, “give it his all” attempt, but then he will go away if you do not respond.

    JATSD – I come off way to serious sometimes (having a Sheldon Cooper moment if you will). I loved the joke and think he may be onto something! You are right in that we do tend to run in the same circles…seems to be a common characteristic of many of the blog ladies. We are driven, smart and beautiful…the perfect compliment to our gents!

    As for leaving the room…I don’t know why. It’s almost a feeling of claustrophobia. I make up a reason and just end the date. Granted, a few hours have passed already, dinner is done and cocktails have been enjoyed. I just don’t want to be there anymore. I feel bad for leaving, but I guess I’m just not ready to date someone new yet. My friends keep telling me to just be alone and not worry about it. Great advice, but hard to follow when you have fun with the one that also makes you crazy!

  60. JustATequilaSD says:

    @CaliSB
    Sorry for your loss. I’m not sure why you broke it off. I didn’t realize AT ALL that you were even contemplating love at this point in your life. You actually seemed quite happy in the sb lifestyle. Was this merely a binary decision? I am confused, and concerned at the same time.

    @MidwestSB
    Maybe it was actually a statement rather than a question. Perhaps, you tank the new dates because of some latent or blatant feelings you have for 2 year guy. Who knows.

  61. GenuineSD says:

    @CaliSB. I’m sorry you’re struggling with your choice…
    Can you use sugar as the distraction to help break away ?
    It sounds like you know what’s best for you, but the habit is hard to break…

  62. NC Gent says:

    Good morning all — interesting discussion going on. Love and sugar can be quite messy, but I personally feel that it is impossible for most people to completely valet their heart.

    @Content — Go Packers! I made an email address for us:
    packersrulebearsdrool at hotmail dot com

    hopefully you will see this before it gets deleted! Drop me a note :)

  63. California SB says:

    My dear friends of this blog I love so much: it didn’t work… we are still together. Call me a dumb blonde. Yes, thank god for sugar that at least gives me a great distraction from this guy. I don’t know, I know I will be strong enough someday to leave him.

  64. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Good Evening Everyone!

    How are you all

    x

  65. Treasured says:

    Hi all :)

    I just left my Sugardaddy. This is another good example of why NOT to fall in love with your Sugardaddy and why you should always have the means to leave him.

    My ex SD was requiring monogamy from me. And was swearing he is monogamous to me. So, since the trust was established, we were VERY close to each other (by “close” I hope you all know what I mean.)

    But, you always feel that there is something wrong. And, if you do feel that, that usually means something is INDEED wrong.

    Today I got my proof. I was cold, and when I am cold I have cold feet. So, when he had a business meeting, I looked to borrow his socks. And, found an opened pack of condoms. BUUUM. Red lights.

    When he came back, I started the discussion “it is ok if you have got someone else”. I have never asked for monogamy, just honesty. I hate lying. Can’t tolerate. Not even for all the sugar in the world. I feel, that lying breaks trust much more than just cheating.
    So, obviously, he was swearing, that he doesn’t need anyone else, and he is happy just with me.
    Doh.
    So, when he went out again this evening, I hacked his iPad. Yes, I know – kill me. And ALL the history was right there. LOTS of girls, meeting which already have happened and the ones which are being planned to happen.

    I packed my bags, left a note, booked a hotel and left while he is away. Needless to say, he is not going to see me again.

    I am disgusted. But thank God, my heart is in one piece. :D

  66. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Sorry to hear Treasured.

    Well done you for being strong and independent beyond this.

    x

  67. Treasured says:

    Lady V: It was kinda expected. Still I am disgusted.

  68. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Treasured
    I’m sorry for your loss. At least he was using a condom with all the others. I understand your anger at his deception, and I’m glad your heart is in one piece.

    @CaliSB
    I’m glad to see that you are “kinda” happy again. You already know the situation between you and this guy and are ok with it for now. I don’t think you’re a dumb blonde for that. I didn’t understand why you suddenly needed to break away from him, unless you really just wanted to see if he gave a shit about you breaking away.

  69. twiceshy says:

    I think I am infatuated with someone from this blog who I’ve never met and can’t have.
    Where is the post for me?
    ^_^
    *wink* *wink*
    :-P

    @Treasured sorry to read about that :( I know it must hurt terribly.

  70. sassyteacher says:

    @twiceshy I think we probably all can figure that one out! LOL I would suggest positive thinking and self-affirmation with Stuart Smalley! He said the wise words, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” haha-just teasing! I wouldn’t take her lack of interest personally. I’m sure she has good enough resons that you may not agree with. You’ll need to keep the vibes open for another as I’m sure there is a wonderful SB out there who’s waiting just for you. Good luck!

  71. Jack says:

    Sorry to hear about your ex-SD, but I know you’ll find a better one to replace him.

    I am with you on the lying, I simply won’t tolerate it either.

    Jack

  72. Reach The Beach SB says:

    CaliSB – At some point, you will be ready. Until then, make the most of it :) He must have some redeeming qualities.

    Treasured – I’m sorry to hear about the deception and I’m also sorry you felt you had to confirm what you already knew. It’s scary when you find yourself compromising your own values in order to find validation. Next time, I hope you can just tell yourself “it’s just sugar” and walk away without having to validate. You certainly gave him an out and it’s a shame he felt he had to 1) lie and 2) not be mature enough to have a mutually open relationship. (((hugs))) I’m sure sweeter sugar isn’t too far off in the horizon.

    Twiceshy – Should we change your name to Smitten&Shy and write it in a language she may find more comfortable :-)

  73. RussianSB says:

    Oh, God ! I told before, that we are not robots, we do fall in love. And modern BF/GF relationship is not like 50 years ego, most of the time it is NSA, open or secretly seeing other people. And Sugar boys… I love South Park episode about Tiger Woods – ”Why rich and famous cheat ?” – simply becose they can :) I am not talking about blog gentelmen – they never do or is they do – they do it smart and not left evidence !

  74. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Twiceshy
    I say go for it. I think the kitten with which you’re smitten is no longer forbidden. I think she’s definitely ready for some “strictly sugar.” Seize the day.

  75. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    This blog gentleman usually goes where the tequila tells him, and it has no secrets. LOL. I’ve been sober for what seems like weeks. My posts are actually starting to make sense again. What has come over me?

  76. RussianSB says:

    Hi, Jack, you absolutely right, I do blog a lot !

  77. RussianSB says:

    @Twiceshy, I hope that bad lady not me, so many miles, time zones (3:30 a.m. now) divide us. Snow will be next week… I change my climate to yours without even thinking !

  78. RussianSB says:

    @Tequila…and you asking me ??? I am dumb blond and I am proud of it ! I even cannot drive a car, and use an iPhone, dear, all that mooves with two fingers when people open pictures on sensetive screen exites me in a bad way. Look inside you, I hope something left of good old days, in high quality tequila always happy worm swimming :) and singing
    PapamparaparapampamTequiiiila !

  79. RussianSB says:

    Today I was offered to wiew pictures trough ”what’s up” application – it is just offensive to my blond hair !

  80. twiceshy says:

    @RussianSB
    *gazes*
    hmm?

    Yes, so many miles. But yet so near ;-)

    The world is just a global village, and hearts find their way around eventually.

  81. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    I need to know other good russian words. I know very little, but I want to know where is bar? where is hospital? where is bathroom?

    Pajalusta.

  82. Tina says:

    @Tequila: don’t leave anything out, you know you also want to know “where’s bedroom for boom boom”

    ;)

  83. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Tina and @RussianSB
    Sorry, I forgot. Yes, how do I know when girl says in russian language “Release The Kraken?”

  84. Tina says:

    @Tequila: oh dear, why do you need words? A quick crotch grab should answer THAT for you ;)

  85. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Tina
    Oh and while I’m at it, I’d like to know how say both in Texan?

  86. JustATequilaSD says:

    @Tina
    Well, that answers all my questions. The crotch grab IS pretty universal.

  87. Jezebel says:

    Hi everyone, first time posting on the blog but have been reading for a little while.

    I recently got involved in my first real sugar relationship in August. I’ve not seen my sugar daddy a whole lot since we live three hours away from each other, but we have been having a lot of communication by texting between visits. Anyway, I feel kinda of crazy because even though it’s been a short period of time…I find myself falling for this man. I don’t know what to do. From some talking with him, I get the feeling he MAY feel the same way, but I’m not sure. Because I’m not sure, I’m afraid to bring this topic up at all.

    I just feel so confused right now. When I signed up on this website and made a profile, I never really thought I would find someone I really enjoyed being with. I figured I’d find a guy I could tolerate seeing once a week, or a few times a month, and that would be that. Instead, I found a man that treats me like gold, a man that actually respects me…buys me flowers, opens doors for me. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

    I spent the night at his house earlier this month and it was so wonderful. He’s always talking about how he wishes I was there sleeping next to him again like that time. Things like that, and when he tells me he has to watch his feelings and “be careful” leads me to believe I’m not alone in this.

    What do I do at this point? I’m so torn over this. I wonder if I’m just being ridiculously naive with my head stuck on some romantic notion that doesn’t actually exist. Should I just let it go and continue on? I don’t want to scare him away if he doesn’t actually feel the same way…I don’t want to lose this good thing I have.

  88. Tina says:

    @Tequila: I cannot share those secrets with people outside of Texas. Once you cross state lines, all will be revealed ;)

  89. Midwest SB says:

    Am I the geekiest for admitting that hearing “release the Kraken” takes me back to fantasies about Harry Hamlin? I used to watch that movie (with the cheesiest special effects) all the time! (and yes…I do get the joke :) )

  90. Tina says:

    @Midwest: Nope! I think of the original “Clash” all the time when it’s said! (Public Service Announcement: the new version of “Clash of the Titans” is time that I will never get back again. Don’t bother – it’s HORRID! End of PSA)

  91. RussianSB says:

    @everybody, I give Russian lessons, feel free to ask me about grammar :)
    So,Tequila, you have been in Russia already, I see. I ask Russian boys (nobody speak English) how they communicate with foreign ladies, they say we use only one word – SHOPPING. Charming… and it works!
    With whom you identificate yourself, Tequila – with Davy Jones or with Jack Sparrow?
    I need it for better translation.

  92. RussianSB says:

    We have Irish Pub – on every corner
    ”Show me the way to the next wisky bar and don’t ask why…
    Show me the way to a next litttle girl…”

  93. RussianSB says:

    Why, in Wild West they don’t use English ,Tina ? Then what – TexMex ?
    I love Berlitz travel frasebooks – I have for all popular languages. Berlitz is the best.
    It has me&police, me&hospital, me&in-broken-car-in-the-middle-of-nowhere,
    me&and girl telling me she is not ready for kissing yet. I also offer to you, Tequila, my translator servise when you in Moscow next time.

  94. RussianSB says:

    Today is 0′Celcium in Moscow, point when rain become a snow – like every bloganimal I go to deep long sleep till March Hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  95. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    I have not been to Russia yet. The wife of one of my best friends is from Ukraine. She started to teach me very little, but then they moved to the west coast. When I was younger, I learned speaking to girls in their native tongue was a good thing. Now, I just want to know where the party is at no matter who’s around me or what country I’m in. :)

  96. RussianSB says:

    but you have perfect spelling, I will take you as a student :)

  97. RussianSB says:

    Where the party is ? – [GDE VECHERINKA, ch - like in word choose]
    party is everywhere…Moscow never sleep !!!

  98. RussianSB says:

    Tequila, can youdo me a favor and check spellingin my profile, and , maybe even write profile in your tequila style ? It shows up when you use such key words”looking for sugardaddie for travelling to Carrebean pirate rootes ” and,of course,”releese the Kraken !”

  99. RussianSB says:

    25 years sugardaddys start to write me a lot … Iunderstand that I have such ”mamma” looks, oh, and all of them CEO,of course, I am just play with them like cat with a mouse,
    for their stupid questions I invent even more stupid answers.
    - I don’t believe you,proove that you real (me)
    - tell me how to proove and I will (he)
    -if you smart enough to be CEO, you will find the way to proove(me)
    POOOOOF

    I am rude, but where SA advertise this days, they all so young…

  100. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    Yes I can do that for you. If you do not want to post your profile number here ask the BLOG GODS to exchange our emails.

  101. RussianSB says:

    But you can find with a key words,really, or
    BLOG GODS please, do change e-mails with JustATequilaSD

  102. RussianSB says:

    How the exchange going on ?

  103. RussianSB says:

    If only SA can advertise at Playboy halloween party :)

  104. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    After I look at it I will send you my ideas and suggestions to your email. Should be within about a day after I see it, depending on how my day is going.

  105. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    It may take a day for them to see the request. As much fun as you have I don’t see why you need any changes to your profile. lol

  106. RussianSB says:

    It can wait, it can wait…. Thank you , Tequila !
    But Me-Me-Me style I’d like to keep, coz it is who I am, I want to be honest from the start !

  107. RussianSB says:

    Coz my grammar start attract scoolboys with a bad grammar and I want snobbish Harvard lawyers ! Or even better… ”silence in my court ! ” :)

  108. RussianSB says:

    And I love your posts… I want JustATequilaThought profile… but with my pictures :)
    What a X-Mass post card it will be !!!

  109. RussianSB says:

    Nice that you sober theese days …

  110. RussianSB says:

    I think I also need sail in Carrebean, hook up a huge tuna fish and make a nice picture with fish, like guys do ! I am sure, boys will be impressed !

  111. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    You don’t want to impress boys, you want to seduce men. :) You don’t want to go fishing for big tuna. You want island beaches, warm weather, and a really good kisser. This is what many girls want.

    re: Sober
    I am overdue to be drunk. Very, very soon. This weekend will be extra fun since many halloween parties will happen.

  112. JustATequilaSD says:

    @RussianSB
    But I do understand I have been less drunk lately, and I have not missed it. But my brother owes me a night out since he cancelled on me, and I will be in rare form. By the way, if it answers your earlier question, I was thinking of being Captain Jack Sparrow for Halloween.

  113. RussianSB says:

    I was sure you are Jack Sparrow !!! Then ”releese the Kraken” will be
    ”ONI VUPYSTILI KRAKENA”
    Sure I don’t want fishing, I just want nice picture with fish -itwillattract more fishermans tomy profile. I want lowyers, fishermans and ”old sharks”,of course.Think about it while party, you have editor talants, Ibelieve in you my boy.
    As about boys, you all boys for me, starting from 5 y.o. to 100,
    boys with their toys.

  114. AnnaMW says:

    I’ve had love for all of my SDs but havent been in love with any of them (save one). My arrangements usually ended with them wanting more. There was one bizarre case where I was so impressed with a man that I initially declined an arrangement because I knew the danger. He was persistent, and to have any relationship at all the boundary of sugar needed to be there. It was painful when it ended and took a long time for me to see things clearly. Were still friends and there are a lot of mutual regrets. It sucks.

  115. HoustonSB says:

    Hey Sugars :) I’m out if hibernation as I’ve recently relocated to Houston from NYC…any SBs in the area? I’m super lost! I don’t know anyone here…I moved for work :(

  116. nikky says:

    hello everyone good day…any SDs in the boston or nyc area contact me.

  117. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hope it goes really well for you Houston.

    I am sure there will be a few people on here that will make you feel very welcome there.

    x

  118. EllenSugarB says:

    …a little late for the party on this one…RussianSB, in regards to your post on research by Arvalea Nelson and the characteristics of consistently “or-women” and “in-or women”… great post! As usual, I enjoy reading your posts, and how you deliver things in such an insightful, yet comical, way.

  119. EllenSugarB says:

    ….was anyone else wondering why this woman is wearing lingere in the back seat of a car? Who does that?!

  120. Tina says:

    @Ellen: I was wondering the same thing….hmmmmm….

    @Houston: Welcome to the lonestar state! It’s a biggun! And full of SO many fun things (including me!) ! :) YIPPEE!

    @Tequila: you already know you don’t need alcohol to have an interesting time! :)

  121. EllenSugarB says:

    lol Tina. hahaha

  122. EllenSugarB says:

    Jezebel – I see that nobody has responded to your post. (Kind of hard to respond to people when the blog topic is changed every 3 days btw…)

    “What do I do at this point? I’m so torn over this. I wonder if I’m just being ridiculously naive with my head stuck on some romantic notion that doesn’t actually exist. Should I just let it go and continue on? I don’t want to scare him away if he doesn’t actually feel the same way…I don’t want to lose this good thing I have.”

    I have one question before I can respond: Are you in an arrangement with this man where you have each clearly expressed expectations and he has already provided you with an allowance? Your answer may change my perspective slightly.

    If NOT: Don’t get played! You have two good options: Get the agreement in place, or Bail – now. Like Russian SB says, “It’s marriage contract or sugar arrangement.” Nothing in between. After the two of you establish chemistry – he can figure it out and scoop you up, or he can step aside so someone else can. None if this lingering around being idle nonsense – In or out. Figure it out. Take action.

    If SO: Proceed with caution. Communicate clearly and explicitly about EVERYTHING. Decide if you like what he has to say. If you two don’t see eye to eye…Bail. Now. If you do, proceed with caution. Keep communicating. Repeat.

    Eiher way, the beauty of this site is that it sets the framework to clearly and explicitly express expectations up-front in order to avoid drama. There is nothing wrong at all with you two having feelings, it’s natural.

    A while back, SDGuru gave me some sound advice: “Set healthy emotional boundaries.” This one simple sentence was such a gem of sound advice. It saved me from a lot of unnecessary suffering and drama. And I am forever thankful. So, I will pass it on to you, Jezebel…

    Set healthy emotional boundaries. Getting your heart ripped out never feels good.

  123. Jezebel says:

    Hi EllenSugarB, did not see this response, thought everyone had moved on to the other post.

    We did talk about our expectations up front and said originally that we weren’t looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend, we wanted and NSA arrangement without the relationship commitment. I would’ve been fine to keep it that way as that was what I wanted too, but then he started saying these romantic things to me…it just confuses me. Why would he say those things if he didn’t mean them? I mean, he’s giving me his end of the deal, so he gets my end, there’s no need for him to really…”romance” me, if that makes sense. I guess maybe it’s just part of the sugar, creating that kind of feeling, I don’t know. This is my first serious sugar relationship, my past experiences were total crap.

    Anyway, originally I said I wanted a monthly allowance, but he convinced me to start off with a pay per visit until we were both comfortable and trusting with each other. At this point, I feel like we are there, but I haven’t pushed for the monthly allowance yet. He does give me money every time we see each other, he pays for my gas when I drive to him, he has given me flowers twice, and last visit he bought me expensive underwear.

    I guess at this point I just need to be up front and honest about how I’m feeling before I get so far gone that it’ll hurt too much if he doesn’t feel the same way. Right now if we broke it off I would be disappointed and hurt, but it would be much worse say…six months to a year or more down the line. At that point I’m certain I would be way too attached.

  124. China Rose says:

    For all the fun and sugar in the world….sugar will always be just *that* to me. An arrangment, I could never fall in love with my sugar daddy. Because the nature of sugar seems to be like this “you are always sweet you are always happy, and you make sure I feel good about myself”. Maybe that works for some….but I could never love someone who would only want the “fun” parts of me. And I don’t need a boyfriend/husband/lover to give me an allowance, buy me expensive things.

    With someone I love I would want it to be give and take. You love me at my best and love me even more at my worst. Besides, I don’t really like coach, gucci, prada, shoes etc… Pretending to like all that everyday of my life would be tiring.I mainly use sugar to fund my overseas volunteering anyways. SO, with that being taken into account…I couldn’t fall in love with someone who I had to cater to always, and who “spoiled” me because I catered to them. (say what you want about “chemistry” “fun” etc…).

    Dats why i love my BF. Because he’s everything that I could never have in an arrangement. And that’s why arrangements are for friendship/”benefits”/etc/. For me, love could never come from such a thing.

    Also, has anyone noticed how overused the word “fun” is, on SA? Every profile I see is “I’m looking for NSA fun” “a fun guy looking for a fun gal” “an older gentleman who likes to have fun” “fun times” etc. I see it so much that I don’t even know what it means anymore. Don’t we all have different definitions of fun?? :S

    Maybe I don’t get much mail because I don’t say “fun” in my profile…….

  125. kenyanGirl says:

    Interesting blog! very insightful! thank you all for your valuable advice….

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