2 years ago
Don’t Get TAKEN: Sugar Baby Safety
  • Posted Oct 1, 2012
  • Views 8512
  • Written by JennSA

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Sugar Daddy Dating may be a niche dating genre, but that doesn’t mean the same risks of online dating do not apply here. We all love money and sugar, but nothing is more important than your safety. Whether you’re meeting with a new potential Sugar Daddy for the first time, or traveling abroad with an already established Sugar Daddy, you need to be aware of your personal safety at all times. Don’t be the one who gets taken. Here are a few ways to avoid danger during the pursuit of sugar, brought to you by MissTravel.

 

 

Get To Know Your Date

We screen all profiles and approve members in-house, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cautious while getting to know your potential date. If a profile is not “verified”, don’t be afraid to ask them for a background check.  Do not accept a date with someone who makes you uncomfortable – trust your gut. The desire for sugar should never outweigh your value on personal safety. Insist on a background check. Google them. Skype, call, text BEFORE YOU LEAVE for your date. Ask questions, and discuss your intentions and expectations before you get there.

Be Aware

Never meet up with a potential Sugar Daddy at a private location. Insist on meeting somewhere public, and if possible, familiar to you. Don’t have him pick you up, and never give out any personal information until you are better acquainted.  If possible, valet your car, so you won’t be in a situation where you are being walked to a darkened parking garage at the end of the night. Always take the elevator at night, never use the stairs. If you are traveling to meet a Sugar Daddy, confirm all travel plans to and from, and make sure you research the destination ahead of time.

Be Cautious

As a woman there will always be a concern for personal safety. Demand respect from the moment you first lay eyes on each other, and dress accordingly. Even if you really need the money, desperation should never be a flaunted trait. Don’t overindulge yourself on alcohol, and always watch your drinks. In the sugar bowl, everything seems almost to good to be true, so you need to be even more cautious and guarded to determine the validity of a proposed arrangement. A first meeting should never turn into a sexual transaction. If he’s leading you down that path, he is not a true Sugar Daddy. Take control of your safety, it’s better to be paranoid than a victim.

If you do become a victim, chances are, Liam Neeson is not going to be there to save you. If you can’t prevent something from happening, you need to be able to take control of the situation. So, just in case you do get taken…. you might want to read our next blog.

What other safety precautions would you advise? 

Sugar Daddies: what advice would you give to new Sugar Babies to protect their safety?

 

 

 


228 Responses to “Don’t Get TAKEN: Sugar Baby Safety”

  1. Jennifer says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. VASD says:

    Hello…anybody in here…??

  3. Jennifer Pillow says:

    Im a single mom, i enjoy going out having a drink meeting new people and to maybe even go eat dinner or watch a movie.

  4. BrownSugahBaby says:

    I’ve recently come out of retirement after more than a decade of being my own Sugar Moma. There’s no sugar like your own! But now that I’ve started a new business, and business is slow, I find it expedient to give up some of my self-sufficient independence and rely again upon the generosity of a sponsor, or two.

    Since I don’t know any Sugar Babies here in the DFW area, who can mentor me, it helps to be able to turn to the virtual community for support.

    Thanks for this Blog and advice!

  5. VASD says:

    As an SD, I agree with most of the above. Make sure your gut feels right in the first place. 1st meeting in public neutral places. Absolutely do take control of your safety. If a pot SD wants you to come to him (not advisable), make sure any significant travel costs are covered by him UP FRONT–and again, 1st meeting in a neutral place. If you’ve travelled, then he should provide YOUR OWN hotel room, and it’s your option to invite him to stay. Not sure if I agree with no-sex-on-first-date–sometimes it happens. As a matter of trust and earnestness, I always go out of my way to let pot SBs know exactly who I am, where they can find me–before going anywhere private. I always let them know that I want everyone to feel safe, happy, comfortable–that if they don’t, they are free to go at ANY time, they daon’t OWE me anything (I’ve also cut SBs short when I’m not feeling ok about things). Also, nothing happens without a clear understanding as to ‘the deal’, who is to provide what and when. It’s really up to the guy to make you feel safe, comfortable–if he doesn’t, stay away.

  6. Circe says:

    Good suggestions for being safety conscious. I would add that I recommend all women take a self defense class. Not some fancy martial arts program (though those are fine). I mean a real, down to Earth, effective in real life situations, self-defense class. Know how to use your body to defend yourself. Don’t rely upon weapons or something like that which can be used against you. Just because the other person may be bigger than you, does not mean you can’t get away.

  7. Circe says:

    @VASD: “Not sure if I agree with no-sex-on-first-date–sometimes it happens.”

    I think of it in terms of expectations. Don’t go there expecting to have sex on the first date. Because, yes, it happens. But it should be because both parties had a connection and enjoyed their time together; not because of a feeling of expectation or obligation. And as others have said before, if you’re feeling obligated or pressured to engage in sexual activity then that SD isn’t an SD.

  8. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Very sensible advice.

    Thank you all for sharing.

  9. NewParisianSB says:

    Great poste.

    And I agree on most, though I would imagine that if a man had plans on “taking” me, it would not make a big different how I was dressed.

    But telling a friend that you a meeting a man that you know from an Internet site, that is a good ide.
    Also just to text her to say that everything is fin.

    If you want to bee a bit extra safe, then never drink anything that you haven’t seen been open, or made. (In Paris night life you have to been quite careful about drugs in drinks :(

    Self defens I agree is very smart, something all women should learn.

    But the famouse womans intuition or gut feeling is the one that I think will make the difreens.

  10. alytheSB says:

    Question…..

    I just spoke to a pot SD on the phone today for the first time, and almost all of his questions for me were sexual in nature. I have never been a SB before, so I don’t know if this is normal. However, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. None of the other pot SDs I’ve been speaking to brought up anything sexual until after our first meeting (if at all). He also wanted to know if I would be willing to go back to his house to have oral intercourse on our very first meeting. He asked me this AFTER I told him that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing anything of that nature until at least our third meeting!! Is it reasonable for me to want to wait until the third meeting to do anything sexual? I am not experienced sexually, and I tell pot SDs this upfront… Also, should I even bother meeting with this man? I like a lot of the other things about him, but after talking to him on the phone, it seems like the only thing he really cares about is the sex…

    Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

    Aly

  11. California SB says:

    If you have a good requirement, Mr. Snatcher, take me please… ( I had to say that…)

  12. California SB says:

    *equipment, damn it

  13. AnnaMW says:

    SBs need to remember that this isn’t match.com. I recommend using an alias and google voice or non-tracable phone number initially. I hear of a lot of girls meeting men they’ve only exchanged a few emails or phone calls with which isnt enough time to have a sense of a persons demeanor and intentions. If a man is serious about getting to know you, he will be equally interested in establishing trust and getting to know you. Most real deal SDs care very much about privacy and are concerned with the quality of person they may allow into their lives. They also aren’t fans of wasting time and would prefer to establish some chemistry prior to meeting face to face.

    RE: Blog Relationships
    I had one. It was good. We kept it discreet, in fact, its been over for quite a while and this is the first i’ve mentioned it. I think that as long as boundaries remain in tact that it is a fine way to meet people, although that doesn’t seem to be the consensus. :)

  14. Jack says:

    I am not “verified,” (because I don’t want my SS# and other personal data in any more databases than they are already in) but I am extremely “verifiable.” I usually provide my last name very early on in the email communication and invite pot SB’s to Google me. I am quite present on the internet, so I believe this is at least as good or better than being “verified” on this site. I realize some may think that providing my last name so early on may be risky, but I think the risk is small and worth taking, given the benefits.

    Providing my last name enables pot SB’s to verify my medical and legal licenses–and they can even find out I’ve never been subject to any adverse action in Calif and Texas, where I hold my licenses. I’ve also written blogs and books that are accessible on the net.

    I believe that the above has made pot SB’s very comfortable on first meetings, which is all to the good, I think.

    I also hold a Texas CHL (concealed handgun license), enabling me to carry a concealed loaded weapon on me out and about, which means I have been screened by the State of Texas through all sorts of criminal and terrorist databases, plus a background check probably substantially more rigorous than what they do on SA, but I have never mentioned this credential to a pot SB because I am afraid they might (ironically) think I would present a GREATER, rather than lesser risk.

    What would pot SB’s think if were to disclose that? It’s not that I feelI need to, I’m just curious.

    Jack

  15. Jack says:

    I have to disagree with Anna. My preference is to meet a pot SB fairly soon after making email contact and having a phone call. I actually think it is more efficient this way. I think face-to-face meeting reveals much more and is a far better screening tool than multiple emails.

    Jack

  16. Jessie says:

    @travelersb – You have very delicate sensibilities :). If a SB can’t vent here about EVERYTHING (including a small package) where is her safe haven? This site is different from every other dating site because each party is able to say EXACTLY what he/she wants. I see no disrespect in stating what your preference is. Requesting a pic (which I’ve done, and gotten without any excuse or obvious discomfort) is just another screening/weeding tool.

    @Content – Not sure what to refer to you as…Madame Stockholder/DareDevil/SluttySB…hahahaha. Gotta say I love that your BF is helping you to, “take the world by storm.” Psss…just called my mom and asked her if she needs a housesitter anytime soon…LOL. BTW, don’t sweat the FB thing, I think you’re just trying to find your own boundaries….without an allowance it’s a little more difficult. If you ever check it out again, your only thoughts should be, “Dang, I’m the one that put that smile on his face” ;).

    @AnnaMW – That’s always been the way I do things also, if there’s no chemistry during our conversations via email/text/phone I don’t EVER meet. That’s been one of my best screening tools. For me, chemistry can’t be “created,” so it’s usually pretty obvious from our first few emails.

    @Grasshopper – What’s up girl?

  17. California SB says:

    When I meet a POT SD for the first time I make a point of looking at each other’s drivers license “I’ll show you mine, you show me yours”. If he doesn’t want to show me his license or passport….it is a red flag and I usually cut the meeting short. I never allow someone I don’t trust to walk me to my car. I never sleep with someone on the first date ( unless he looks like George Clooney which never happens anyway, unfortunately).

    I also make a point of not drinking alcohol when meeting a SD for the first time. I want to be sober to avoid temptations and being misled by a good talker. I also don’t want to be the “$100 on the dresser girl” ( LOL) so I always tell him the amount I expect.

    I like to be the one in control, so when he starts posing as the “SD calls the shots”, I turn tables around and control the situation by saying “I’ll be right back” and I walk to the ladies room slowly, graciously, like a queen, making every man in the room look at me. When I come back to the table, he will be eating out of my palm of my hands… it works every time. :P

  18. jonny says:

    I’ve met plenty of SB’s in my time, flying most of them in for a weekend. I never give my personal information to anyone. I don’t expect her to give me personal information either. You simply don’t do that until you know someone better.

    Not giving out personal information is extremely important to the safety of a sugar daddy. Blackmail anyone? Identity theft?

    What I’m saying is that if a SB demanded all of that from me, there wouldn’t be a first date.

    For the record, only 1 has ever made demands like that

    Personal safety works both ways

  19. Grasshopper says:

    @Jessie – Hello, my darling! Great to see you :) Glad it’s October (my birthday month)! \m/ Hope you’ve been up to no good, yes?..heh ;P

  20. Ms. New York says:

    @VASD I don’t agree with sex on the first meeting of course there are exceptions to every rule. I can only speak about my own experience. SD first contacted me & wanted to met me the same day I told him no. I then let him know when he can met with me. He then contacted me again & asked me if i can met him at a party. I thought that was strange & should of went with my gut instinct not to ever met with him at all but i figured if I told him no again he would know that he can’t get over on me if he still wants to met. He agreed to met the day I told him we could met. He told me the address & I googled it to find out it was a luxury apt building that had security in the lobby so i felt safe about that thinking he would met me in the lobby. He wanted me to come up to his apt I went which wasn’t a smart move at ALL. We did discuss an arrangement the conversation went well just when i thought our met was over he said well don’t leave let me see what I’ll be getting for (what we discuss) a part of me said no but then apart me said we came to an agreement & I would see him again so why not. It was awful…I got there at 2:00pm discuss an arrangement & had sex & left at 2:20.Get the point. I had red flags & wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I contacted him when I got home he didnt reply. 2 days later I contacted him & told him I’m canceling our arrangement if there was really one & he still didn’t reply. I knew in my heart he was trying to get over & didn’t follow my instinct. That situation won’t ever happen to me again.

  21. aerynsun says:

    I’m still waiting to be taken by a Sugar Daddy!!! :)

  22. SD Guru says:

    Sorry I haven’t been on the blog lately, too busy enjoying paradise… :)
    If there are any outstanding email exchange requests please post them again or email me directly and it will be taken care of.

    @Treasured
    “I am a college SB, but, living in Europe, I don’t have an .edu email. Can send a picture of my student card… HOW do I do that.”

    You can contact the SA Support Center here.

    @California SB
    “let’s say his equipment was not the biggest in town… how do I pretend not minding his equipment is small?”

    Thanks for bringing up this interesting dilemma which is a bit tmi. I’ve enjoyed reading all the responses! :P
    There is no need to pretend if this is a deal breaker for you, doing so will just make you both unhappy and unsatisfied.

    @Content SB
    “In my sluttier days, I brought a guy home from the bar, we had our jeans off, and started having some fun with a little dry humping…”

    What would it take to get you back to your sluttier days? :mrgreen:

    @TravelerSB
    “I have never seen a comment from a sd here on the blog who came here to say about a date that ” she had oh so many stretch marks or that her boobs were too low or that they were too small or whatever”

    That’s because a gentleman would never tell… ;)

    @Jonny
    “I’ve met plenty of SB’s in my time, flying most of them in for a weekend. I never give my personal information to anyone. I don’t expect her to give me personal information either”

    How can you fly them in without them giving you personal info to arrange the flights? Maybe you send them money in advance for them to make their own travel arrangements?

    @AlyTheSB
    “I like a lot of the other things about him, but after talking to him on the phone, it seems like the only thing he really cares about is the sex…”

    When in doubt, trust your gut instinct!

    @Tina
    “Hey Guru, you ready for that care package yet?”

    I’m always ready! Will it be delivered in person? 8-)

  23. Ms. New York says:

    @Aly I wouldn’t met with him inless you are getting an allowance up front & I don’t know how you would feel about that. I call that a call girl move. Just my opinion. Not offending any one who does that. I do agree with Jonny personal safety works both ways. Cause if you ask for an allowance on the first met the SD runs the risk of never seeing a SB again. I have email/phone contact & then the first met I discuss everything. I don’t have sex on the first met I learned my lesson.

  24. Lafite says:

    @alytheSB: I think most good SD’s will want to look after you. If he can’t make you feel comfortable at the outset, it’s unlikely to get any better!

    That’s one of the SD’s responsibilities in the arrangement.

  25. twiceshy says:

    @jonny interested in how you arrange to meet etc. without sharing information, and then when you do meet how do you still keep your real name etc. to yourself? In the better hotels the staff pride themselves on remembering guests and using their names. Also if she doesn’t give her name how do you check her out first?

    That sounds more like an escort obtained through a reputable service than a SD/SB arrangement to me. Not saying anything is wrong with moving like that, but just my opinion :-)

    And je*** ch***!!! I wasn’t worried about BLACKMAIL before!! I’m pretty open with the women I talk to, because there’s travel involved so there is the whole comfort level to consider.

    I have a SB I want to break it off with, it just isn’t working out. SHe said No Drama and every week it’s some drama or complaint, and a financial emergency. Just…not working out for me. Do I need to consider Blackmail? :-)

  26. EllenSugarB says:

    “A first meeting should never turn into a sexual transaction.”. Uh, ok. Should ANY meeting (first or 100th) turn into a sexual transaction? No. No meeting should turn into a sexual transaction.

  27. EllenSugarB says:

    Jack “What would a pot Sb think if I disclosed that [I have a Texas CHL License]“? They will probably think youre a serial killer ha! I can see the headlines now “Model citizen goes wacko and slaughters Sugar Babes.” But really…That kind of depends on the Sb and their views on guns. Most women I know just don’t know about guns so they are uneasy about the subject in general. I myself don’t think it’s necessary to disclose up front, but I would imagine that it would come up in the “getting to know you” process.

    Jonnny – I wonder how she will be able to contact you in six months to let you know that she has HIV is she doesn’t even know your name? Hmmmmm

  28. SingleSB says:

    I agree. The gut feeling is the best one. After being on this site for +6months, I’ve run into mostly fakes who’ve tried to get my address within 2 seconds of emailing me, or a guy who wanted to audition me with sex. Can you believe that?!

    I’ve only met two real guys and they weren’t even that great.

    Maybe my profile makes me seem like I’m ripe for t taking. Will some of you check it out and let me know? 993203

  29. Jack says:

    Hi EllenSugar,

    Thanks for your thoughts on the CHL. It actually hasn’t even come out in the getting-to-know-you process, except with a few SB’s who were interested in learning to fire a pistol and it came up when we went to the firing range.

    And I agree wholeheatedly, EllenSugar, that no meeting should ever turn into a “sexual transaction”–although I believe prostitution should be legal in the US (as it is in many countries) and I do not judge others if that is their thing. It’s just never been my thing, and indeed, if I feel an SB is interested in me more for my ATM abilities than for who I am, that situation will never become an arrangement.

    Jack

  30. Nawty Molly says:

    Hi all! I’m thinking of moving back to Tennessee. I just don’t think I can live in Upstate NY anymore. With all the heartache and dissappointment I’ve experienced here, I just don’t think I can be here anymore. I need to start over, somewhere new. I want the best for everyone, but, I need to be apart of the happiness too! I want to be happy and starting over in a new state sounds pretty good to me. Need advice…please.

  31. DULCE says:

    Love this topic! Safety is super important to me! Any body that gives me bs and doesn’t even try to make me feel safe and comfy is Basura! Garbage out the door! q
    @ VASD
    Im from the old school as well and prefer face to face encounters and phone convos. You can read the person better. I like to see the look in your eyes and feel the change in your breathing and shivering of your hands.
    @Jack
    If prostitution were legal it wouldnt be as exciting. That’s half the fun! Oh and Id rather know ahead of time if your carrying a big gun so I can prepare myself .

  32. DULCE says:

    Where’s my Blog Bff Just a Thought?

  33. DULCE says:

    Another Safety Tip! Before meeting someone for first time tell somebody! Someone you trust and send them name and a pic of your date and exactly where your going. Just in case.For me I have a Sugar Baby friend designated for this. I don’t do this every time. But there have been time where men travel from miles to see me and bring their cars. In that case I do get in their car on the first date but someone needs to know where I’m going who I’m with.

  34. JustAThoughtSD says:

    I love Tenn., which part you thinking about? Nash,Knox,Jax?

  35. Nawty Molly says:

    Chattanooga! That’s where I grew up. However, I’m thinking of moving to Nashville, I lived there for several yearsl! I’m confused… :(

  36. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @TwiceShy and @Guru

    re: Breaking It Off w/o repercussion
    That is a great question. I recently told a pot let’s just be friends. We tend to frequent the same area, and she had started saying some weird things about me to people I knew. So better to nip it in the bud before I put myself into a more compromising situation. I still wonder, what her stories will be now.

  37. JustAThoughtSD says:

    I love Nashville. Can you move? I know you want to start over emotionally, but do you want to start over socially, and possibly financially as well. I’m sure you’ll make an informed decision. Of course, I’m all for SB’s relocating 20 hrs closer. :D

  38. JustAThoughtSD says:

    When I said can you move, I meant are you able to do it smoothly and easily.

  39. VASD says:

    @alythesb You told him nothing of a sexual nature til 3rd meeting and he nevertheless persisted. He’s being disrespectful–not a gentleman. If I were you I wouldn’t continue communications with him.

    @MsNewYork In most situations, I prefer a ‘get-to-know-you’ meeting in a neutral public place–usually just drinks–with it clear that nothing sexual will happen. If we agree to meet a second time, it will likely be more involved, and I am clear in my communications up front that, if the attraction is there, sex might be a possibility. Some, like aly, have been clear in return that it is not on the table–fine, I am a respectful gentleman.
    Your story of being pressured into sex is terrible–sounds just like the ‘fake sugar daddy’ site @russionsb was talking about in the ‘Entering a Sugar Arrangement’ conversation. The lesson for all SBs should be–meet in a neutral public place, nothing happens without a clear understanding of who does what and when in the arrangement

  40. ContentSB says:

    @Jessie — LOL! Hopefully she needed someone to watch her house in the near future! I think you and Mr. Bond would have a GREAT time doing that! The dirty talk surrounding that situation is surprisingly hot in a cliche way haha. If you have the opportunity you’ll have to let us know how it goes! ;)

    @Guru — For you? It wouldn’t take much ;)

  41. ContentSB says:

    @Guru — Oh, also…could you exchange my email with Tina? Thanks! :)

  42. Rasha SB says:

    Help please. I’m new to this SD/SB relationship. A pot SD has contacted me and I need advice. My main concern is my safely, physical and identity wise. He has agreed to meet me in my area in two weeks which is fine with me. But he hasn’t contact me since the first time we spoke over the phone, Instead he has had me speaking with an assistant of his to arrange everything (travel, hotel, money). I need to know is this the norm or is it safe?
    (to go through someone other than the pot SD)

    Personally I would prefer to speak with the SD. That would make me feel more
    comfortable plus it would help me get to know him better and discuss his intentions. The pot SD said that he always has his assistant deal with the arrangement so Im not sure what to do. Plus the pot SD said he will be away on business for a while so I dont really want to bother him at this time. I’m basically just waiting for him to contact me back..

    The assistant gave me his name and the name of his company. His name can be a common name so when I googled it nothing concrete came up. When I google his company, which he says he has had for fifteen years, nothing solid came up either.

    Plus the assistant is trying to set me up a personal account to help out with funds. I need to know is this safe as well? Maybe I watch too much Criminal Minds and Cold Case but the more we (the assistant and I) discuss things the more paranoid I become. I think its just that, paranoia, but on the other hand I dont want to be naive either.

    Can someone please help me?

  43. DULCE says:

    Wow being moderated is annoying! Hello all! Feel free to read my previous post!

  44. DULCE says:

    cricket cricket cricket.Dang. What do I have to do to get sum entertainment around here?

  45. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hello Dulce from the UK

    Very interesting and valid idea you mention in you last post.

    Keep safe everyone!

  46. DULCE says:

    Thank you darling. Is it raining over there as much as it is here? Went out for 5 min got super wet.I’m here in NY listening to music and dancing in my undies trying to fight boredom. Nha amore ke jadore amore Oh Ya! Love Kizomba and Zouk muzik! Whooo

  47. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Dulce

    I am afraid it has been pouring down here! British weather at it’s best.

    I dream of sunshine!

    Sounds like you are making the best of your night. I hope everyone appreciates your singing :-)

    I cant sing at all except in the shower where I think I am fantastic.

  48. DULCE says:

    Lol. I’m sure you are fantastic dripping wet. Whether singing or not.Men become tone deaf when they see boobies.

  49. Midwest SB says:

    AM – You can be happy anywhere if you find happiness within. Don’t ever give anyone else the power to control your happiness. Tenn is beautiful and I’m sure the winters are milder, but you don’t need to relocate in order to find happiness. Hugs!

    Is Polar Express a Pixar movie? (Yes, I’m late)

  50. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    :-) They would have to be very tone deaf in my case!

  51. DULCE says:

    I wonder if that’s how some of these horrible singing pop stars got famous?
    @Anna Molly
    been reading your blogs since you started posting. I am secret fan. You seem like a fun vivacious woman who makes the best of life and can make people smile. Do not let this person steal the joy from your spirit. You shouldn’t rearrange your life for someone who hurt you. NY is a Huuuge state! There’s other places you can move maybe switch counties or stay with some close friends or mini vacation just to clear your mind. Any move if you really want to not cuz of butthole ex. PS I am bored lonely housewife if you want some company… just saying

  52. California SB says:

    Molly, moving to a new place can be the best thing to lift your spirits. If going to a new place didn’t make people happy…. the travel and entertainment industry would be doomed.

    If I were you, I would move. I remember when I was living with my mom in one state…. I didn’t have many friends and was always sad. When I moved to another state with my dad, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I made great friends and had a very happy teen years because of my move. So, you never know. A change of scenery might be good!!!!

  53. Stormcat says:

    AnnaMolly ~ Seriously Babe! You think moviing back home will make you happy? CaliSB is right that a change of scene can be a much needed boost. But going home is a regression. If you want to move find a situation that facilitates it at a new place with circumstances that make it possible to live comfortably. Then you can start afresh and give yoiurself a chance do it right in the way that you think it should be.

  54. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Lafite- I agree that water sports are amazing. I love waterskiing and wakeboarding on the lake.

    @AnnaMolly- Good luck with your move. I hope the decision you make brings you peace and happiness.

  55. Unhappy Sugarbaby says:

    The best advice I could give any girl is this….
    Trust your gut. If there’s a little voice inside your head that’s saying “red flag” don’t push it aside and keep going. Listen to it because it is right! Almost always. Even if you don’t, proceed with caution.

  56. DULCE says:

    Why r u Unhappy.
    @LV Good Morning London! It’s 8am here in NY. So Foggy out here looks like a ghost town

  57. LeMaitre says:

    @aerynsun

    with a name like that …..come on down ……..

  58. Flyer says:

    First meetings (or second meetings)

    If someone is coming over to my hotel room , home or apartment on the first or second meeting my natural inclination is to believe that sex is in the air. Perhaps not a promise but certainly a substantial probability if the discussion goes well.

    The second red flag should be reaching an agreement very quickly. Someone who is looking for a long term arrangement is probably going to want to know more about you, visualize how you might fit into a lot of situations from a quiet evening to a trip to dining out to a business or social function.

    Even if there is an intent to consummate the relationship that evening a little more time spent getting to know the person signals a longer term intent.

    However, if there is a connection, a comfort and an agreement then it seems pointless to defer the good stuff unless there’s a strong desire to make it a special event. Personally I’m a believer that the first 10 minutes of nakedness is likely to have a major impact on the long term relationship and its time for both to bring their best game.

  59. VASD says:

    @Rasha Heed Unhappy Sugarbaby–listen to your inner voices of caution. That said, if you have a pot SD coming to visit, great, but neutral meeting place first. Establish your best case scenario/arrangement up front (ie. unless something has been clearly said/implied already, what your comfort levels will need to be before actually spending a night with him). If he gives you money ahead of time, you don’t OWE him anything. On banking info, perhaps better to set up a Paypal account to preserve your security.
    If you want to talk to him again before you meet, insist on it.

  60. Flyer says:

    An alternative strategy is to politely decline any payment until after the first discussion. Ok a small gift is ok but do you want to go to the first meeting with a “SOLD” tag on your ear.

  61. AnnaMW says:

    Rasha – Email me. If you are interested, I have a lot of advice and input but would prefer to discuss off blog

  62. Rasha SB says:

    @AnnaMW how would I go about emailing you?

  63. Lafite says:

    @Nwsugarbaby: I would need someone to pick up the pieces and put me back together again if I went waterskiing! The intro to this blog mentioned “Here are a few ways to avoid danger during the pursuit of sugar”. Maybe we could add a few ways to avoid the dangers inherent in men trying act like supermen in the pursuit of Sugar Babies…

  64. Rasha SB says:

    @VSAD Thanks for the advice. It is very helpful and appreciated.

  65. Lee says:

    From the Male SB perspective…

    New to the site – but not to being an SB

    As a guy you are far safer meeting a female HOWEVER

    After a few rough experiences – make sure there is some form of written communication about what you are doing that you have saved to cover your back and make sure you have in your mind a good idea of the persons intentions, if they give you a bad vibe – walk away.

    3x Horrid Situations i have found myself in over the last few years:

    At an evening event – i had basically been duped into it to incite fury from a cheating husband – i failed to establish the circumstances of the SM, agreed to the night out very quickly (it was our first meet) and found myself on the receiving end of near violence from a very very angry husband.

    Cited in a divorce – trust me this is not a situation you want to find yourself in if you value any form of your own privacy – the court making you out to be a basically a male whore is not pleasant.

    Do it now – i’ve had a few SM over the years act like they own me and that i had to do what they said, when they said it – establishing your boundaries with a perspective SM (And theirs with you) is very important to it working for both of you.

  66. EllenSugarB says:

    Lee – I am curious as to why you prefer written communication and what exactly you think it does for you. I hope that I never experience your three Horrid Situations. (I do think that all 3 can happen in real-life dating, btw, not just sugar dating) Cited in a divorce?! Ick. I’m thinking either one or both parties in the marriage would have to completely despise one another to play dirty like that, or someone wanted more $ in the divorce settlement. I’m going with: someone wanted more $ in the divorce settlement … probably the divorce attorney, talk about a whore!!! lol !

  67. EllenSugarB says:

    …OOPS ::covering mouth:: , sorry if there are an divorce attorneys writing on here. That wasn’t a very nice thing for me to say.

  68. EllenSugarB says:

    ….(pssst…but they called you one first)….

  69. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Dulce

    Thanks for the Good Morning from New York this morning!

    The UK continues it tradition which great weather. Yes it is raining again! Sorry to hear about your fog today.

    Hope everyone is keeping well and enjoying a good evening.

    Wave and smile to you all

  70. California SB says:

    I’m going to meet a sugar couple this weekend. Any suggestions? Should I pay more attention to the mommy or the daddy during dinner? Should I dress conservative? Or Slutty? Should I play bubble head or smart? If I just be myself I know I’m gonna intimidate the lady cuzzz I’m full of myself and I know how to work the crowd. LOL LOL Just want this to go well, the $$$$sugar is gooooood!!!

  71. RussianSB says:

    Hello,Lady Vuitton ! Sometimes I think that Ilive in London too. Some kind of raining season starts in Moscow, it rains every day,morning, daytime, evening,night. By forecast nothing will change next two weeks, and no sun, so I understand you – I call it ”Tim Barton picture”. California and Florida, you have no idea how blessed you are !
    @Lee, so far as I can see, Sugar Ms are more generouse than Daddys, and more human by nature with their babes , you just have very bad cases, really. And in some familys it is agreement that both partners happy in marriage , and both having lovers (babes). And in some – you can be atacked by husband, for example in Russia better to know who is the HUSBAND, so divorse is not the worse scenario. Better be with unmarried woman, here lots of independent, selfsufficient, successful and divorced bussiness women nowadays. All my conclusions I make from real storys, not from moovies ir statistics (just in case). I can write a book, if only not my high respect to private
    life – I never cross the line of privacy.

  72. RussianSB says:

    @CaliforniaSB, if the couple is nice and hot, and you sure that you want to join –
    pay attention only to the mommy – she and only she will decide :)))))
    How sexy you are, babe, I am so old fashioned – only one SD and no upscale adult partys.

  73. RussianSB says:

    About male whores :) ))))
    In my opinion dirt stick only to woman and never to a man. Only we, girls, called whores even if we are behave like nuns!
    Whore – girl who sleep with everybody.
    Bi…ch – girl who sleep with everybody, but not with you ! Hehe, I am in silly mood tonight

  74. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hello RussianSB

    Glad to hear that we are not the only ones who are getting such terrible weather.
    I am sure I am beginning to get webb feet like a duck which is not a good image for a potential SB :-)

    Always good to hear your insight into the questions asked here. I always enjoy reading them

    By the way old fashioned is good.

    Enjoy your evening

  75. RussianSB says:

    Lady Vuitton, I knew , you enjoy that :)) We even have WORSE weather then you, we can have only ONE sunny day during whole winter (year 2011). And that epidamic flu, a ”must have” this season, I am already fight it with chicken soup and no medicines – becose it doesn’t matter, anyway you will fall of life for 5-7 days. I dream about frost and snowfalls starts – the only way rains stops. How I survive that winter without warm SD under my arm ?

  76. LOL says:

    Ladies of Cali, be aware of who you sleep with. Hopefully he got her consent.

    http://thedirty.com/2012/10/how-is-he-so-successful-in-orange-county/#comments

  77. EllenSugarB says:

    With a sugar couple, I wouldn’t pull the “walk into the room like a queen” move. Women can sense fraud and manipulation – especially if you’re trying it on her man. My guess is she knows how to work him over better than you can imagine. Don’t be a stuck up brat, and I’m sure they will love you.

  78. California SB says:

    OK ill remind myself: don’t walk like a queen, don’t be a brat, smile. Upscale adult parties? I’m always in! If he has a small c*ck… at least I can go for the girl :P

  79. EllenSugarB says:

    Hahahahahaha…perfect :)

  80. Tina says:

    @Guru: anything for you my dear!

    @Nawty: come on down to Austin honey bunny! We could cause all KINDS of trouble together ;)

    @all re: CHL in Texas: if you live in Texas, it’s no biggie. Seriously. It’s Texas. You CAN have a gun in your truck. And we do.

    @Midwestie Babe: Nope, Polar Express isn’t a Disney/Pixar film, it’s just an animated one.

    Speaking of, what’s shakin’ JaTSD?

  81. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    I just left you a response on the other blog, im sure you’ll get it. :) Oh, you’re gonna get it :D And the smiles keep getting bigger.

  82. emerald says:

    DEAR BRANDON (or anyone else that reads this),

    am i the only one that thinks this website needs either a) a chat room, or b) the capability to instant message?!

    also, what can a girl do to get her profile viewed more often? even as a premium sugar baby, i don’t think it equates to many more views than a non premium. also, how do we get to the coveted “feature profile” section?! ;)

  83. Lee says:

    @ Ellen – Written because you have a record of what was to transpire between the two of you… In case of any legal accusations – I have a friend who is a male escort who was accused of rape by one of his clients after he refused to see her anymore – His written records showing her bookings, communication etc were invaluable in his defence.

  84. Lee says:

    @ RussianSB

    I agree SM are very generous and usually very warm – do this long enough you experience a few bad times though.

    On the other hand – i’ve had real life partners who were worse!

  85. AnnaMW says:

    The whole male SB/ female SM thing kind of eludes me. I know that it may seem very dense, but I wonder under what circumstance a woman would consider a male SB when casual sex is so easily procured for the subset of the population that have vaginas. How does the psychology behind SB/SM relationships different from that of an SB/SD?

  86. AnnaMW says:

    Rasha – The BLOG GODS wil get us connected!

  87. Lee says:

    Anna – You are correct, Young Males with washboard abs are ten a plenty for rich women.

    Most of my SM relationships have been either non sexual or irregularly sexual.

    Intelligence, romance without risk, dignified companionship all seem to be common requirements.

    I do a lot of business dinner engagements, charity events, business trips etc

  88. flyr says:

    Re Emerald – What can a girl do to get more profile hits

    Differentiate between real hits and ego hits. If you make the featured list you will have people focused only on your photo without any knowledge of where you are – thus 99% of the hits will be geographically irrelevant.

    Make sure you think about how searches work. If you live in Culver City for example you might want to put Los Angeles since the default search is for the named area only.

    Your lead picture has to be great it’s your packaging – does it appeal to your target audience. Does it stand out , is it you at your best? You need a real guy to evaluate your pic not a metrosexual. What age group are you looking for. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

    Are the colors appealing, does the background provide adequate contrast. Is the background appropriate (a junky bathroom is not an appropriate background – Neat, clean one is ok.)

    You are stranded in a city with no girlfriends – dress in something and go to the park or a museum. Ask a couple passerby to take some pictures of you to send to your family or boyfriend pick someone who has a good camera because they will be more likely to know how to use yours. Alternative is to get a timer for your iphone.. In the museum you might even ask a distinguished gentleman to take your picture. If he seem interested you might mention that well it’s really for a dating site without mentioning the details and see what happens.

    Your one liner also has to be great , again focused at the group you want to attract.

    Once you have the initial stuff you are on your way. But too many snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by making the profile all about them. Focus on what the relationship could do for your target. create a picture……

    Finally , if you have a male friend whom you can confide in ask him demonstrate how he searches the site. You can also look at other female profiles.

  89. travelersb says:

    I would love to be a SM if I had money, and it would definitly not be for sex. Even if I wasn’t having sex with anybody else. I don’t want a guy thinks that I give him money for sex or worst, that he thinks I need to pay to get laid. I just find that it is important to help people who need it and that it his important to keep in touch with younger people as we get older. It keeps the mind more alive and young. Well, one day when I’ll be wealthy I’ll be a SM. For now I’m a SB :)

  90. Tina says:

    @ JaTSD: I can handle the whole hammer, and it might end up as a toothpick when I’m done with it.

  91. EllenSugarB says:

    Lee and whoever else – I have a vagina, “Ta-Daa”!!!! Because of this (and the fact that I an easy on the eyes), I could probably sleep with whomever I want to. (I just happen to not want to sleep with many people.) BUT, I don’t think being a SB is just about sex. I MYSELF am an SB, and if I could afford it I would definitely indulge in financially procured male companionship. There are SO many hot guys everywhere – it’s their attitude, over inflated ego, immaturity, and lack of a common sense of respect that makes the vast majority of them completely undesirable in my eyes. So … then you get a HOT guy with a good attitude who is humble, mature, and respectful – what a rarity! Yes, I can see successful women wanting to make this guy a SB for sure!

    Thanks for explaining why you get something in writing. Makes a lot of sense.

    Did you ever see the skit on comedy central where they do a satire about Kobe Bryant getting girls to sign a contract before they sleep with him. Pretty funny!

  92. Lafite says:

    @EllenSugarSB: I charge very reasonable rates – I’m sure you could afford me… :-)

  93. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    Dammit, Tina, I don’t want you to break it. Just to make sure it’s rode hard and put away wet just like any hardworking horse will be.

    @Ellen

    What about 40 years young men, with a WARM bod, that can be dicks? No SugarMomma for us?? Guess I’ll have to stick to what I know then.

  94. California SB says:

    Hey peeps I’m thinking about going “verified”. Is it really true that people who are verified get lots of emails?

  95. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: awww, I won’t break it as long as I get what I want. >:) Riding hard and putting things up very wet is something I’m quite good at……yeehaw!

  96. flyr says:

    When you get verified you may get your picture only shown as a verified . You may get a lot of clicks from people all over the globe.

    I do not know what the ratio of high quality responses is to verified vs non verified. If you go verified then you need to put even more emphasis on your photo.

    SA introduced keyword searches recently. Your new or old profile should be edited to maximize keyword hits.

    A number of us believe that the verification process leaves too many permanent tracks that you may not want to deal with in 20 years.

  97. emerald says:

    Thanks fly, but you didn’t say how to get featured on the part of your screen where it says “featured profile”

  98. California SB says:

    Flyr: Tracks? Like…. the year 2050 my granddaughter will say OMG grama California was a sugar when she was 23???LOL LOL

  99. flyr says:

    Tracks

    Or that in 2020 you’ll be running for the school board in some exclusive area and your opponent will smile and ask you during the debate, say sugar , did you declare your income as a sugar baby…….. and did you ever get over the guy with the floppy

  100. flyr says:

    about checking pictures

    a friend sent this to me……………….. not sure if it was intended but click on the horizontal head shot ……………… 350601 Never post a picture that you think is cropped

  101. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Lafite- I think tip one is don’t do it in front of a sugar baby if you haven’t completed what you are trying to do before hand. We want our sugar daddy to stay reasonably safe. After all the drive to the hospital could be uncomfortable if you are in the very beginning stages of setting up the arrangement. However, it would be great to do together so you can both be equally embarrassed if it is something silly. A sugar daddy can also be dangerous in bed and sugar babies consider that a great trait.

    @Flyr- good point on the verification process. the reason I didn’t get verified was more related to identity theft, but I can see where a person would use that information as an invasion of privacy…blackmail of some sort.

  102. Treasured says:

    @flyr – Ooopsy :D Awkward.

    And once again, no wonder some SBs have 0% success rate.

  103. VASD says:

    @flyr Is that Tim Tebow with 350601?

  104. Tina says:

    Dang it, I can’t see the profile :(

  105. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    I think you can view your own profile first and then substitute the numbers at the end for the numbers of the profile you want.

  106. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: thanks for the tip, and for being my own personal bad influence :)

    Wow, that’s just bad.

  107. JustAThoughtSD says:

    As I was drifting through a bar, I saw a nice looking lady. Of course, I went over and said hi. I didn’t realize at first that she was older than me, but she looked great, and I had to see if she had personality. I made no mention of sugar, arrangements, relationships, or anything else. She said I seemed a little young to be checking her out, as she caressed my face and proceeded to call me cute. I insisted that she was charming, and good looking. I simply went with the flow. No interviewing, no contracts to prepare or fill out, all I had to do was bask. Unfortunately, she had to get up early for an 8 hour drive back home, but said if I was ever up that way that she’d give me a tour of the city and show me her house. What a nice drinking experience. It was an interesting change.

    I think I’ve just been “cougared”. :) Is this how most of you SB’s feel when you meet an SD for drinks the first time? Getting the invite for the tour of the city and the house, etc?

  108. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    You’re welcome. I take it as my personal duty, to touch your boody. Remember the safe word is “fluggaenkdechioebolsen”.

  109. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: who needs a safe word? Oh, wait, you would. ;) And did you feel flattered with the cougar? (And yes, you did get cougared you cute little thing!)

  110. AnnaMW says:

    @JustAThought – Congrats on being cougar-hunted!!

  111. Tina says:

    heeeeeeeeeeeere kitty kitty kitty

  112. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    Flattered? Yes. Any of you hot ladies may feel free to stroke my *AHEM* ego anytime. I’m quite the attention whore when I want to be. She brought a nice big bowl of compliment cream, and I was licking all over it like the big cat I am.

    That particular safe word above is from one of my fave comedies, “Eurotrip.” If you haven’t seen it, you simply must. Be warned, it’s not disney/pixar.

  113. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @AnnaMW

    Thank you. Even when I was with older women in the past, I still was the smooth talker. Of course, my older women back then were younger than I am now. lol

    By the way, keep us posted on the move idea. I still like Nashville. I am also tentatively planning a move to that area for work and other stuff. Of course I’d have to split some time between there and my home state. In fact, the gorgeous lady I met was also from TN. I guess the handwriting is on the wall for me.

  114. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @AnnaMW

    And no, i’m not going there just cuz you and the hot mama would be in the same state, the two of you are just bonus. :D

  115. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: your smoothness just hit a bump: AnnaMW and Anna Molly / Nawty Molly are two different ladies. It’s Nawty that’s looking to go to TN.

    And WHAAAAAAT? Texas is SO much better than TN. Come on down! ;)

    I’ll have to check out Eurotrip…..it sounds interesting. I actually just saw Looper, and it wasn’t bad at all! :)

  116. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi All

    Weekend at last and I hope you all have a great one.

    Very interesting posts.

    I think I can say I am a cougar as there are not many SD’s older than me but hey I have a young attitude.

    JustathoughtSD I am glad you had the experience :-)

  117. AnnaMW says:

    I figured there was a mixup. The south is full of lovely people, but is just not for me!

  118. Tina says:

    @AnnaMW: I’m just curious how JaTSD is going to “talk” his way out of this one ;)

  119. RussianSB says:

    @JustAThoughtSD – Oh, baby, you have chance to be used and abused now.
    You will have fu…delic night with mature, experienced, sexually open woman and in the morning, she say that she need to go to work etc. Just kidding… don’t take it seriously.
    Sugars, why boys just going crazy when we use them only for good enimal sex ??
    They dream about NSA connection, but when you really NSA, they start histerical voices and ask why don’t want BF/GF things with them ???

  120. RussianSB says:

    It is old true sentence – when people say in profile drama-free , that mean you going to have lots of drama, for free.

  121. EllenSugarB says:

    Lafite- “reasonable rates”. Lmao

    Just a thoughtSD – “no SM for a 40 y/o d!ck” Age doesn’t matter, I think it’s more about personality. and I doubt that you ack like a d!ck. you seem pretty cool. Case in point: your recent coug experience. There’s something for everyone!

    On getting verified – I politely decline for reasons stated by flyr above. I keep my personal life personal. Dating is personal.

  122. EllenSugarB says:

    Russian Sb “lots of drama for free”. Lol

  123. EllenSugarB says:

    Flyr – thanks for the tip on editing and adding key words. I’m way overdue to edit my profile. Hmmmm….I wonder what kinds of key words a SD would seek out: fun, NSA, discreet, no drama, chemistry, connection …

  124. Tina says:

    @Ellen: that’s a good point.

    Oh dearest blog super SDs, what type of keywords do you look for in quality SBs?

  125. RussianSB says:

    I am affraid key words will be : bi-sexual, love to travel, yong, nympho, drama-free,
    MBA educated, know 4 languages, 20 y.o. model – they do believe that such girl existing. And, we are looking for Mr.BIG and believe that he existing. hehe

  126. Midwest SB says:

    JatSD – You’ve been cougared??? You must have been in my neck of the woods :-) I’ve been known for dating younger men, but my SDs have all been older gents. There is something flattering about having a younger man show a genuine interest and even better if he is looking for someone who is more settled down than our younger counterparts. As for your question…the uniqueness of your meeting with this lady is that you had never met before…no preconceptions…no talk of likes/dislikes…just pure attraction and curiosity. It’s lovely when it works out! Enjoy!

    Heyyyyy sugars! Hope all is well!

  127. Tina says:

    Oooooh Midwest! Smooches! How’s school going? One semester almost done!

  128. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi Midwest. All well here. Hope you are too. x

  129. Flyer says:

    Keyword

    Might be hobby. Skill. Or something like mentor. Flying sailing three MBA. Phd. Cuffs. Acrobatic

  130. JustAThoughtSD says:

    *****Answering bloggies after a night of margaritas is funnnn.*****

    @AnnaMW and @NawtyMolly and @Tina
    Oops. Sorry about the mix up, but feel free to complete the Bon-us Trifecta.

    @Tina
    My smoothness mechanism malfunctioned. Please allow me to make amends. You want coupon??

    And let me know after you finally watch the movie so you can share a giggle on all the other silly parts.

    @Lady V
    Yes. Good experience. Thank you. Your young attitude probably brings all the boys to the yard.

  131. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Russian SB
    I didn’t get abused. It’s not abuse if I’m willing…then it’s just called kinky. But really, we went old school. I walked her to her door. Eventually got to first base. Then I left. I did not “Release The Kraken!” on this particular night. Oh but to sleep, and perchance to dream. I rarely get used for animal sex and released back into the wild. They usually choose to attempt to domesticate me, so they can enjoy the wildlife at any given moment. Of course, somewhere within the housebreaking and potty training they realize I’m just a wild animal that can’t be caged or contained, and that will wet the floor as soon as they change the newspapers. I have to run free. No zoo for me. Not for now anyway. Whatever this crazy post means.

    @EllenB
    It was just the idea that the ideal male sb is “young,HOT,great personality” so I simply had to play the devil’s advocate, and speak up for the “40 year old, WARM, dick personality.” After all dicks need love too, and you did say there’s someone for everyone LOL.

  132. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Midwest
    Yeah Midwest, you can sink your cougar claws into me anytime. I don’t care if you’re 15 seconds older than me I’ll still count it as cougaring. We can cougar, cuddle, rinse, and repeat.

    I didn’t tell you that she had a great voice, and sang to me. I was as giddy as a schoolgirl. Ooh,seductress. Also, it was nice that she knew what an LP (album) was. Some days 19 y.o.’s just annoy me.

    ***OK drunken babble over.****

  133. nicole says:

    I’m very nee to this whole thing, i’ve takes to men of the site but have never met any of the site… But as far as I can tell they have no interest in helping you out unless they get what they want first, I think they are just rich arrogant jerks who want to buy sex….. The end

  134. RussianSB says:

    @JustAThought SD.
    Release the Kraken ! Really ? It is how you call the process in US now? I never catch up with modern language . Hehehehehehhehe… release the Kraken….. (demanding)Release the Kraken ! Grate moovie, anyway, I love ”part of the chip – part of the crew” when someone works too long and too hard in the same company. Tomorrow I am leaving that rainy hell and go to Carrebean Hard Rock . Tell me, please, blog citezens, ”Chance of T-storms, 70% chance of precipitation” – what does it mean ? T-storm will be, or just big waves ?
    And what is better, in your opinion for RussianSB – be taken away with storm (but with chance to ”release the Kraken” – game) or be drawn in Moscow non-stop rain (being part of the crew at work) ??
    @JustAThoughtSD again. I am going to give you ”mamma” advice.
    1.Never believe to a woman, when she tells you “I want nothing from you”. If she not send you away at morning after boomboom – she want marry you and start her devil’s planning already.
    2.Never give your credit card to a woman,boy. hehehe

    Cougar word sound not nice to me… And 40 y.o.,come on, guys, they look like boys now at 40 , easy life, no hard phisical work. I am 25 and have strong rule to date only 38y.o. males.

  135. EllenSugarB says:

    So, Russian, you are leaving rainy hell for rainy heaven. At least you can enjoy the rain in a bikini while sipping a Mai tai. Tropical storms are gorgeous. And Mr. Big totally exists! Didn’t you see SexAnd the City 2? Lol. Why no credit card? Haven’t you heard of the Square app for iPhone? As we departed, my prior SD got me one and said “Ok, now you go on and swipe your way to a down payment that house you’re saving for.”

    If cougar is a bad word (I actually don’t think so) then is “Manther” a bad word?

    Re: keywords. I will add “cuffs”, “MBA” (as if they would care), and “women are soft and pretty, and they smell nice-I’m open to sharing SB duties with another sweet little lady” in college it was “ok, you can do my boyfriend but you have to do me first ::big grin::”….oh, and “boom boom” lol. Boom boom is the best one so far! But “acrobatic” now THAT got my attention ! Intriguing. I think I will also add, “Let’s treat each other as we would treat a dear friend. Trust is the key.”

  136. EllenSugarB says:

    ….and “mentor” for sure!

  137. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    RussianSB You are making most envious. You are going to sunshine with the odd “shower”

    Have a wonderful time and enjoy.

    I am sure no storm will take you away, if it does make sure you can still read these blogs.

    :-)

  138. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @RussianSB

    “Release The Kraken!” is what I think in my head before I unzip my pants with the women. But you can say it any time aloud anytime you are next to me. :D

    ”Chance of T-storms, 70% chance of precipitation”—Chance for thunder storm, high chance of rain.

    1.Never believe a woman? This is very good advice. The first time I heard this was in a different way, and from a man. He said “Don’t trust anything that can bleed for 7 days and not die.”

    Cougar…mountain lion…puma…ready to pounce on innocent little piece of sweet meat…if he’s lucky.

    And for me, I did physical work from age 6 to age 18. Then the work got easier. On my 26th birthday someone mistook me for 35-40 y.o. At 30 same thing. At 35, same thing. Now at 40, they say 36-43 y.o., I guess that’s ok.

  139. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: ooooh, I think I like your drunken kinky rants! Where are you at again? Oh, yeah, too far away from Texas for any fun. Phooey! And I am DEFINITELY going to have to check out Eurotrip, since I just read a quick synopsis for it (and I have always had a crush on Matt Damon ever since Good Will Hunting)

  140. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: I’m 34 and keep getting told that I look more 25-28. It kind of gets old when people look at your ID funny when buying alcohol. :)

  141. RussianSB says:

    Thank all of you, now I undertand that T-storm do exist and make it’s performance only in Moscow.
    @JustAThoughtSD, I perfectly understand who is Kraken (I am sure I even see it few times), and affraid that from now I will call it only Kraken name ;))))))))
    @EllenSugarB- always lady you are, but “Let’s treat each other as we would treat a dear friend. Trust is the key.” – no good. We are not boom-boom our friends, it is not nice, against good friendship rules.
    @Lady Vuitton , only you, dear, and Canadians can really understand me.
    Will report if Hard Rock is SD/SB spot. But I always think that the less stars hotel have,
    the more beautyful ladies it has.

  142. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @RussianSB

    I was trying to get you to see that I have the Kraken…not everyone. Everyone else can have Medusa, the Minotaur, or even Pegasus. But the Kraken…that’s MY secret weapon. So you would have to be next to ME to demand it. Anything else is Fake Kraken. LMAO

  143. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @RussianSB

    Since we are sharing secrets, about my friend.
    The Kraken, Mjolnir, Mt.Kilawomansjawo, and the Amazing Fun Rod are all the names I am trying to purchase trademark and copyright. Other names I like include the 9th Wonder of the Ancient World, Godzilla, Eiffel Tower, Chitty-Chitty BANG BANG, H.R.Puffinstuff, and “ItsStillNotAsBigAsYourEgo”.

  144. California SB says:

    I never thought I would say this but… there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing”. This is the perfect example: 327524

    After reading that…give me a regular guy please!

  145. Tina says:

    @CaliSB: that’s interesting….I will admit, it DOES make you think “what’s the REAL deal here?” And yeah, “regular” ain’t that bad at all! :)

  146. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: Puff the Magic Dragon? Cyclops? Rajun Cajun? Pocket Rocket? (I got a million of ‘em)

  147. JustAThoughtSD says:

    ****Day 3 of my sis-in-law’s bday party, twice as bad as last nite****

    @Tina
    The One-Eyed-Wonder-Worm, Moby Dick, The Man with Two Brains, girl, I could do you all day…do this all day, I mean. :P

    @CaliSB
    Wow, this guy is hot! I finally found someone with an ego bigger than mine, and he doesn’t even know it.

  148. California SB says:

    Had a blast with the sugar couple!!! She was way more interesting than him. He said he was 5’11 but was about 5’9 and his equipment failed a couple of times. But she was hot and that made the whole thing worth it. :P

    JustAThoughtSD and Tina on “big ego” guy:

    You know I have a funny feeling about this dude. This guy is totally gay…. straight guys don’t spray tan their bodies. Just saying….

  149. flyr says:

    The LA Party

    I was wondering if there was any post party communication from SA to the guests.

  150. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Glad to hear it went well California SB

    What approach did you take when you met them in the end?

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend :-)

  151. California SB says:

    Hey lady! I wore skinny jeans, nude heels and a black blouse with very light make up. I also bleached my teeth and I took a couple of saint john’s worth to calm me down. LOL I drank coors light and acted like a college girl needing some money to cover tuition ( which is kinda true, except I already graduated).

    I didn’t want to play the party girl ( which I am). It turns out the lady was a total sweetie, skinny and very pretty who wanted her first bi experience. :) He was OK, nice equipment (when it didn’t fail). I would do it again, it was so fun.

    Flyr, I went to the party but never received any communication.

  152. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: bring it on honey, bring it on

    @CaliSB: I’m glad you had fun! And a good lover knows that his equipment isn’t the only part that can give a girl a good time ;)

  153. California SB says:

    Tina: A good lover… I haven’t seen those in a long time!! :(

    Just read a SD defining his ideal sugar: “More than a hook up and less than a girlfriend.”

    :P

  154. Tina says:

    @CaliSB: me either dear! I’m in need of one! Any takers? ;)

  155. Tina says:

    Damn, where’s a drunk JaTSD when you need him?

  156. ContentSB says:

    Hi kids! How was everyone’s weekend?? Hopefully as eventful as @CaliforniaSB and @JaTSD! Threesomes and alcohol?? Count.Me.In!! ;)

  157. Tina says:

    Hey Content! The first day of my weekend was good since I got a chance to share a solution to a problem with a friend. Teehee. Now he just needs to get off his ass and get that taken care of, so we can get down to bizness

  158. ContentSB says:

    @Tina — Yay!! Was that friend on board with the possible solution? I can’t wait to see how all of this unfolds :)

  159. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    “Damn, where’s a drunk JaTSD when you need him?”

    Off somewhere getting drunk, of course. Not that I get drunk before 5 o’clock, I just haven’t stopped since 5pm of my 18th bday. Have no fear though, my favorite drinking game is see who “O”s first…then second,third,fourth, and so on. Clock starts from the first kiss and stops when you leave the state. Everybody wins in this game.

  160. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @ContentSB

    I’ll bring the alcohol. As long as I get to choose the drinking game.

  161. VASD says:

    @Tina @ Ellen Re keywords…”suck a golfball through a garden hose” would catch my attention.
    I dunno about any particular keywords. I just look for ladies that come off as intelligent, informed, fun, sexy, adventurous…interested in giving as much as getting–in all aspects.

  162. Treasured says:

    A random thought…

    Men are curious creatures. Since I am back in the game, I have changed my hair colour – am a brunette now. And a funny thing has happened. Now, when I have new brunette pictures on my profile (profile itself stayed absolutely the same), the rest of the sugardaddies from Europe (there are not too many of those. Legit ones, I mean :D) contacted me. Even though, as a blonde, my own messages to them were completely ignored…

    Who thought hair colour is so important. Hehehehe

  163. SassyInMass says:

    Glad to see members chimed in abt safety calls and letting someone know where you are! How could a safety post leave this out? Man o man, tons of fun going on in the comments as usual lol. Hope everyone finds the SD, or cougar, or large equipment of their dreams! :) flyer- what happened with picnic girl?

  164. Stormcat says:

    Okay this post is about picnic girl! I mean we had a couple of dates since and started to get close so then I asked her why she doesn’ tet me pick her up at home for dates or send a car around for her. She tells me that she is still living at the same house with her Ex. but she assures me that they haven’t slept together for years. ( Are they really seperated) Then I ask her about her divorce and she tells me that she hired an attorney a year ago but he hasn’t filed anything yet. So I am starting to think that she is just a player who is stepping out on her husband. I hate to be suspicious as I have always been really streight and never told anything that wasn’t true. I really like her though and am willing to go through some hard times with her and support her. But am I just being a naive fool in thinking that she is into me in any other way than physical! The thing is that she messages me to send her more poetry and those things that I do. Maybe I made a mistake in telling ther that she was the most inaccessable person I had ever met. She apploigised for it but then she seemed to become even more inaccessable. Should I ignore her for a while? That doesn’t seem to be a very honest response! I know she is into me but playihng a game with her just seems to cheapen the result. The thing is that I really like her and want to make it right so I can be with her.

  165. stlsb says:

    If I take up drinking would I get invited to these drinking games lol.

  166. stlsb says:

    I finally remembered Matt d part in eurotrip…. Too funny

  167. Treasured says:

    @Stormcat

    1) I can almost bet that she is playing a game. Whatever her reason are: money troubles, bored, wants more sex or everything put together – but from what you have described, she is still with her partner. How close they are, is a different question altogether.As I like to ask potention sugardaddies “is your wife aware that you are separated” ;)
    2) She probably does like you. To what extent only you can tell.

    What you have to decide is what you want from that relationship (just NSA or something more). And would you put up with the fact that most likely she will not change her family situation.

    Only you can decide :)

  168. SassyInMass says:

    Stormcat- thx for update. Sorry for mixing up names. Good for you spotting an issue and asking her abt it. It may be true theyre not sleeping together, but it sure sounds like she isnt on the divorce path or even the moving out path. Id ask myself how I felt abt that longterm. Youre like a catch, I bet she is asking for more poems! You seem quite smitten with her, I hope it works out for you

  169. Theresa says:

    Escort or Not?
    I just got off the phone with my daughter (I’m an older SB, so I have an adult daughter) and she said that I shouldn’t believe the hype and that most SBs are just escorts. She also said that most of the men are pervs. Is this true or is she just jaded because she works in the club industry and is surrounded by the worst people in humanity? I need to know because I am starting up with a potential SD and he will be in town in the next month or so. I know everybody says that sex is neither given nor expected as part of the deal, but my (ever so loving) daughter says that if you don’t have sex, you are just mercilessly hit on until you give in. Now, I no prude but I am NOT an escort, and I don’t want to be treated like one at this time in my life.

  170. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Stormcat

    It’s a very sticky situation. If you’re looking to help her cheat on her husband, then it will be the simplest of the potential situations. If you’re looking for love, well, I can only foresee heartache. Even if you helped her to get divorced and move out from her hubby, I always ask myself how long will it be before she’s doing the same to me. It doesn’t matter what her real reasons are, or what stories she’ll tell you. If she hasn’t taken the real steps to be free of him, expect her to let drama linger around for the duration of your relationship.

    Just my thoughts.

  171. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Theresa

    The club industry isn’t always the worst people in the world, but lots of alcohol really helps bring it out of them. And depending on which clubs we’re discussing, nightclub, strip club, or country club, patrons will have different ideas of what’s appropriate behavior.

    Your SB experience is simply that…yours. You should decide what you’re after, your limits, your restrictions, and expectations. Sex almost invariably comes up in one form or another with most SD’s. It’s best when you both have similar timing. And it helps to know what he expects as well. If he’s getting what he truly expected from you, then you should be as well. In the end, always trust your gut with these situations.

  172. Tina says:

    @Stormy: Oh honey! You deserve so much more than that! I know that you adore her, but she isn’t doing right by you. If she’s been with you at ALL, she already knows what a sensitive soul you are, and is playing on that. She should decide where her own life is supposed to be before bringing someone else in the way she has with you. I adore you, and only wish you the best, but am afraid that until she makes her difficult decisions that you’re bound for heartbreak. :(

    @JaTSD: I have tequila….wine…..rum….name the alcohol, time and place you naughty man ;)

    @Content: yup, he was open to it, now he just needs to get off his ass and do it. Radio silence didn’t last long, even the way that we did it before….SHEESH! We’re pathetic!

    @Theresa: Escorts have sex for money. SBs have a relationship with a gentleman that includes an allowance. The nature of the relationship is between both adults, although intimacy is usually part of an adult relationship. The sex isn’t for money – it’s because you are both attracted to one another and have chemistry. The allowance is a formal arrangement for assistance in exchange for your time. Put it this way – have you ever had a husband/boyfriend pay for dinner or the date every time? Every had a man in your life (other than a parent) pay for something that you need help with or are passionate with? And how is that any different than an arrangement, other than the fact that and arrangement is formal?

  173. Midwest SB says:

    Theresa – It all depends on how you allow yourself to be treated. If you don’t accept being treated as an escort, then you have no problem…you just “next” the guys who try to pull that nonsense before you ever meet them. Your advantage is that your experience allows you to know when a guy is full of BS or is a true gentleman. I’m in my 40s and love being an SB. There are fewer “hits” due to our age, but it’s a natural screening tool. The men who are truly interested are experienced and are usually gentlemen. Good luck!

    JATSD – Good advice to Stormy. He’s always a sucker for the fairy tale ending.

    Oh and about “who Os first”….shouldn’t ladies always go first? :-) The rest is open for discussion.

  174. Midwest SB says:

    Hi Tina!!!!!

    Heyyyyyy sugars!

  175. Tina says:

    Midwestie babe! Smooches!

  176. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina
    I’ve had quite a few tricky situations in my time. A quote growing up, from a mentor, “How she comes to you, is how she’ll leave you.” I have lived it several times.
    Also, I found this for you on YT if you still haven’t watched it. It’s been out a few years and I don’t know if your local redbox would have it. watch?v=FIau1GounkY

    @Midwest
    The O-game is ladies first, but you’re not supposed to know that. Of course, since even I can’t “guarantee” you the 1st , I always offer you 2nd,3rd,4th,and 5th hopefully in rapid succession. :D

  177. Circe says:

    Hello again everyone! Looks like I missed a bit again. I am at an 8 day dance seminar. Boy are my feet getting sore! Does anyone here give good foot massages?

    Glad you had a good time CalifSB! Love the ladies. ;)

    Since it seems to have somewhat come up, I would like to offer a response to the following question:

    What’s the difference between kinky and perverted?

    Kinky is when you use a feather and perverted is when you use the whole chicken.

    Hope that clarifies things.

    Enjoy the rest of your week Sugars.

  178. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: awwww, but we could have some fun! :)

    @Circe: the whole chicken – NICE! :)

  179. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    OOPS, that quote was related to stormcat’s situation. But you already know I’ll let Drunk JaTSD out of the box very soon. *Insert mischievous smile here* (Or insert whatever part of me you choose anywhere you like.)

  180. Alice says:

    This is sooo incredibly important and was my biggest concern when stepping into the sugar lifestyle. I completely agree with getting to know the sugar daddy you’re interacting with. I tried to chat and talk on the phone with every man for at least half an hour before I’d go to meet him. It’s also important to exchange substantive emails and try to get a read on the person’s character.
    Character is the most important, I think.
    The problem is that many sugar babies don’t think straight when someone is offering them cold hard cash or the possibility of an immediate arrangement. If someone does this – this should be the time when you should MOST have your wits about you.
    I’ve been really lucky in sugar dating, but I always erred on the side of caution. I found some awesome sugar baby safety tips here: http://quainternational.com/sugar-dating/safety-tips-for-sugar-babies/
    They’re laid out in practical, easy-to-follow detail. If you just stick to them, you should be fine :)

  181. sassyteacher says:

    I posted the following, elsewhere, and a friendly SB suggested that I repost this here. I was also given your name MidwestSB as a possible mentor since we are both of the same age. I am also having a few technical difficulties with the Blog site but there does not seem to be an email adress where I can send technical questions. Any suggestions?

    I am an attractive, sexy high school teacher from Quebec. I am 45 years old and am a little discouraged with regards to the kind of interest that I am receiving. I am getting emails and winks, etc. but I think that most of the men must think that I am desperate and so are simply offering a one-niter for cash. Or, is this the norm? I am polite when I refuse them and then wish them good luck. Am I looking through rose-tinted glasses in thinking that I may meet an interesting man on this site who would be interested in a woman of 45? I have been someone’s mistress before, which was great! We also had a sexual chemistry that left me breathless. I was very lucky. It was fun, stimulating and naughty! It lasted for close to 5 years and has recently ended because of his ill health. We are still friends. I hope to find the same here but I’m not so sure that it’s going to happen.

    I have my beauty to offer a man, although not the youth, but I do have the education, intelligence experience and elegance that my previous SD adored.

    Should I be patient?

    Thank you for your feedback.

    Sass

  182. sassyteacher says:

    @ Theresa: Hi, although, I am new to this site, I have been someone’s mistress before and so feel that I can speak from experience.

    Escort: There are defintely no strings as an escort. Your relationship with the man begins and ends with the clock when you are an escort. His feelings are not considered and neither are yours. And, you certainly don’t have a choice with regards to your ‘customer’ whereas choice is the cornerstone of being a SB.

    Sugar Baby: The best synonym for a Sugar Baby is a mistress. We often say that there are No Strings Attached but I beg to differ. There are but they are different from your conventional relationship. Yes, there is a financial for sex exchange but that is whithin a very different context. First of all, mutual attraction is important and necessary. You are with this man because you are attracted to him and like him. He can see/feel this. He is willing to spoil you/ take care of you because you are ready and willing to be with him without the strings, again, which is very different from your conventional relationship. He is cognizant of this and is saying thank you. You are willing to spend time with this man without expecting him to come to your cousin’s wedding, without the drama, and without the criticism. He comes to you for enjoyment, relaxation, yur beauty, your smile, your touch and your understanding. You are with him because his success, power, intelligence, smile, charisma, etc. turn you on. It’s also exciting being someone’s mistress, knowing that he can’t wait to get his hands on you. I love it!

    Most importantly, an SB can be mistaken for an escort, if she is with a man that she isn’t really attracted to or admires. It also depends on how she allows herself to be treated. It’s up to you to set the boundaries/parameters.

    And, it also doesn’t really matter what your daughter says. First of all, what a person says in public is not always necessarily what they actually believe. Secondly, if she really does think that SBs are escorts, does it matter? I don’t like green peppers but that doesn’t mean, that they are not good! ;-) It’s like the friend who has no children telling you how to raise your kids. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! And, yes, I have retried green peppers but they still taste (and smell) awful. LOL

    Sass

  183. Jack says:

    Hi SassyTeacher and Theresa,

    I think I can respond to both of your queries in a single (verbose, as is my custom!) post.

    I believe that the men and women on this site represent a continuum of humanity–from straight-up escort to (believe it or not) some women who state in their profile that they want to be supported to the tune of $10,000/month (or more) but declare up front that “no sex shall be involved.” As is true about life in general, both extreme ends of the continuum described above are rather rare.

    To put some numbers on it, I would say 5 to 10% of the ladies on this site are straight-up “escort” ladies (although none of them would actually call themselves that because it would violate this site’s TOS and for other obvious reasons) and probably 5% or less state in their profiles (in one way or another) that sex will not be part of their planned SA relationship.

    The other 80-90% fall somewhere in the middle–with some closer to the “escort” end of the spectrum and others closer to the other end. Some are looking for exclusivity, others do not care. Some have no problem with (and some even say they actually prefer) married SD’s, while others will say “Married men need not apply.”

    Again, this site is a microcosm of real life, except that people here tend to be clearer about their desires than people are in real life. I will say that the vast majority of SD’s expect that sex will be part of the relationship, and most of the men probably won’t wait months for that part of the relationship to materialize. But a key distinguishing feature between ladies on this site versus escorts (a major difference in my mind), almost all women on this site will say that chemistry is a must for the relationship to progress to the physical, whereas an escort is not usually too concerned with chemistry. Obviously, different women will have a different threshold as to what constitutes “chemistry” for them.

    And SassyTeacher, as to age (and race, for that matter), I cannot speak for all SD’s, but I can say I am an “equal-opportunity” SD–and I suspect that the other SD’s who post here are probably of similar mind. But in my case, that is largely due to the fact that I am looking more for a BF/GF relationship than an NSA-type fling. With me, the sugar has always flowed–whether it’s someone I met through this site or through more conventional means–but the difference for me (in terms of what I am looking for) is that a BF/GF relationship satisfies something in me that an NSA-type relationship does not. Of course, until I find the GF I am looking for, I am meeting women through SA for dating and such.

    Having said all the above simply as background, the bottom line answer to your questions is “This site isn’t ‘about’ X, Y or Z–but rather, it is ‘about’ what YOU want.” In other words, SassyTeacher, if a guy offers you cash for a one-niter, and that isn’t your thing, then simply ignore or respond nicely, as you do. No biggie.

    I am positive there are many guys here who would be interested in an attractive, intelligent 45-yo, and indeed, there are several women in their 40′s who post here and have had plenty of success. I have been on this site for 5 months now, and I have liked the women in their 30′s and 40′s that I have met here (meeting a 46-year-old later this week) but the relationship didn’t advance for one reason or another. And although I haven’t found the one I have been seeking quite yet, I have gotten pretty close a couple of times. It will happen–maybe next month, maybe next year. Who knows?

    But always remember that you can have fun along the way and enjoy the process as much as the end result! Yes, there will be some not-so-fun experiences along the way, but that’s life.

    Good luck!

    Jack

  184. SassyInMass says:

    Another Sassy :) Hi! good advice Jack. SA is certainly a mix. And yes I noted multiple women here on the blog say that theyre 40+ and successful in sugar. Here’s hoping Sassyteacher is next!

  185. VASD says:

    @Sassy and @Jack EXCELLENT entries both as to the nature of relationships here. As per Sassy, if you think it’s not TO SOME DEGREE financial arrangement for sex (unless explicitly specified not) then your kidding yourself. On the other hand, I think SD/SB is VERY different than escort, that there are feelings and attractions considered in the former. And, as per Jack, to each their own–something likely here for everyone with patience and determination.

  186. Flyer says:

    @theresa.

    This a recurring theme that defies a precise definition. Perhaps the Supreme Court Justice , struggling with the definition of porn put it besta, I may not be able to define it but I know it when I see it.

    I think your daughter is wrong ain some ways and perhaps has reasonable concerns in others. IRL there are many relationships that would not exist without a disproportionate financial investment by the man. There are a number of very bright , successful women here who have had long term sugar relationships that were positive. There are also amen and women here who are looking for or to provide pleasure by the hour.

    The first part is managing expectations to filter out those who are looking for a industrial debutantes through your profile and your response. What are the characteristics of a man that you would like to add to your life – maturity, intelligence, takes you to nice places, exposes you to a more interesting circle, more devoted lover, someone you can call in the middle of the night when faced with a dilemma ? And of course someone who helps keep the wolf from the door or leaves you with more time to pursue your educational or career dreams.

    Go to your average 20′s – 30′s bar or party and you will typically find women pursuing a variety of goals and strategies. It’s the same here. The probability of sex on the first second or third meeting is probably not much different. And the probability of the man asking o sex on the first meeting is probably about the same,

    I think the sexless sugar daddy relationship probably exists. And will be found right after Bigfoot

    General advice

    Think about what you want . Test those thoughts
    Put them into your profile
    Edit your profile based on responses
    Manage your potential sd expectations
    As a general rule make sure that he understands sex is not on or under the table on the first or second meeting and do not expect any sugar, My a personal feeling is that if you insist on something the first meeting that you pay a price aka later on, keep the first meeting simple and casual

    Use the interview process as a filter, especially the first few written exchanges.

  187. SassyInMass says:

    Flyer’s bit abt being clear w/pots that the first cpl meets are no sex, no sugar and just to get to know each other is exactly how I roll :) just coffee, convo, and hopefully chemistry.

  188. SassyInMass says:

    When sd’s send mail, do they have quick text options? Specifically one that sends the message- ‘Im interested in getting to know. Please respond if you are interested’ ??? Its like my inbox is on repeat lol 3 new sds but same damn initial message

  189. VASD says:

    @SassyinMassy As a gentleman and in the spirit of things, I usually give a small contribution up front to cover parking/transport/incidentals at the first meeting. Yes, clarity on expectaions from each up front is a must.

  190. SassyInMass says:

    VASD- o yes lots do that. nothing wrong with that. but i decline. Except once I accepted cab fare. We were saying goodbye curbside outside the restaurant and the cab was chartered n waiting on me. Also it was quite the visual as a minivan lol

  191. VASD says:

    Many SBs come on here asking what a good profile looks like. I just came across a new one in my area that I really liked–tells me a lot about her and what she brings to the table. Entering pertinent info, but changing any identifying info:
    Summary: Genuine girl with a huge heart :)
    Description: I like to think of myself as a jack of all trades. I am fun-loving, adventurous, and wild, but I can also be serious, passionate, and spiritual. I enjoy cooking, attending concerts, playing soccer, football games (GO XXXXXXS), dancing, traveling, yoga, reading, and spending time with family. I am an XXXXXXX Science major, with the hopes of attending XX school and becoming a XXXXX Assistant in a private clinic. I love to laugh, be happy, and make others happy. I am not greedy, but grateful in whatever I receive in life. I am motivated, driven, and proud… I love to fight for what I want, and I don’t expect anything to be given to me. However, if a wonderful person insists on pampering me… I certainly won’t argue :)
    Seeking: SD
    Descritpion: I am looking for someone to laugh and enjoy life with! I love making others happy & I can’t wait to start a new adventure :)

  192. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Hi All

    Hope life is treating you all well.

    Good to see some really interesting views and sharing of experiences about older SB’s. It is really great to see.

    Sometimes it is the starting the conversation about expectations with a SD that can be a bit difficult. Right approach and right moment. :-)

    Do SD’s often plan how to approach the subject?

  193. VASD says:

    @Lady Vuitton My profile is very up front about the sort of situation I am looking for (I’m looking for someone intelligent, fun, intellectually curious, genuinely interested in mutual exploration of physical pleasures–emphasizing that it is NOT all about the latter, but that it is expected to be on the table). Anyone who responds to my initial outreach knows that up front. If initial emails are promising, I like to meet over drinks in a neutral place. I like this to be a fun get together to see if there is compatability and attraction–and let it be known that I do NOT want to talk specifics at this time (having said that, if a pot SB tries to bring up allowance and goodies at that first meeting, that’s it–done). If there does seems to be a mutual interest and attraction after that first meeting, I’ll ask via email if she has any particular expectations on ANYTHING. If she’s uncomfortable about a specific ask re gifting/allowance, I’ll make an offer. I always like to see that both sides have plenty of face-saving outs if at any point either party is not enjoying themselves.

  194. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    @VASD

    I certainly like and respect your thoughts and approach to this. Thank you for sharing. Upfront, to the point, respectful and a gentleman. All good qualities anyone would like and truly appreciate.

    She will be a very lucky SB xx

  195. Jack says:

    Lady V,

    I am a bit different from VASD in how I approach things in that I really don’t have a specific approach. Generally, I like to screen by phone, but sometimes the screen is brief–sometimes it’s fun to just go meet somebody (don’t we do exactly that in other social contexts?) When we meet, if the woman wants to talk about an allowance, we can discuss it, although I am less interested in a woman for whom the money is the primary motivation. I am not judging here–just sharing my personal perspective.

    One thing I do NOT do is respond to women who request that I “make them an offer” in my first email. With all due respect, I think it is absurd to “make an offer” to someone I haven’t met, so I dont.

    Also, I rarely respond to women who have written me (or profiles I browse through) whose dollar range is above $5000–and pretty infrequently to those requesting $3000 to $5000. It’s not that I can’t afford it, or that I’m not generous. The problem here is my ego, which is easily bruised (moderate LOL here). Kidding aside, I am a hell of a nice guy and I bring a decent package to the table (whether on SA or in more conventional settings). I am well-spoken, well-educated and well-off, and respectful and kind to animals and people. My parents and daughters think I’m funny and even my ER patients thought so when I was practicing medicine.

    If a woman needs more than $50,000/yr (which is what $3000/month tax-free translates into) to hang out with me, she is waaay more interested in my money than she is in me, and that circumstance has never worked well for me. I’m sure other SD’s have no problem with it, so I don’t want to speak for everyone but that is my perspective.

    As to other expectations, I don’t usually have many as I get to know someone. Usually, I figure out what I need to know as we go along and that usually determines for me how far we go along. However, I am always open to hearing and discussing what expectations the pot SB has, although I have often found that time to be wasted because in the absence of knowing that other person, those expectations sometimes don’t make much sense.

    Jack

  196. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Thank you Jack.

    Two views of different approaches indeed. Both very considerate and insightful.

    Some SB is going to be very lucky.

    By the way you won me over when you said you made patients smile and laugh in ER. x

  197. VASD says:

    @LadyV Jack’s ‘kind to animals’ comment kinda warmed the cockles of my heart.

    As per Jack’s comments, good for many SBs to remember that SDs are often bringing a whole lot more to the table than their wallets–a comfortable, succesful, educated and cultured Rennaissance Man like our Mr. J case in point.

  198. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Very much so indeed VASD.

    I am sure alot of SB’s want that whole package. ie the person, personality, nice demeanour, confident, successful, educated etc

    That is what makes that person exciting to be with.

    I am glad your cockles have been warmed too :-)

  199. JustAThoughtSD says:

    Another little quick tip, that I will be enforcing (at least for myself) is the 2 drink rule on meets at least til you have an arrangement in place. It’s hard to focus on ANYONE’s expectations when you’re being the life of the party. For some reason 3 drinks always leads to that 4th one. It’s the fourth one that turns me from Dr.Jekyll into “Hyde’s Got Nothin To Hide.” (For those of you that remember the 80′s movie Jekyll and Hyde Together Again) But Drunk JaTSD will not hang out with pots (just plenty of college girls at Mardi Gras.) I do like to party hard when I find the specific occasion, and I like to plan for it.

  200. SassyInMass says:

    Great question LV and thanks for sharing Jack, VASD and JatSD! So helpful to hear sd point of view. Ive never been the one to bring up sug specifics 1st. What should a sb do when she gets thru a grt 1st meet (casual), all the post- communication (had grt time, cant wait to see you again) and is set to embark on 2nd meet (still just casual. dinner and play) in a few days, But the sugar convo hasnt come up

  201. VASD says:

    @SassyinMassy Were I you, I would introduce it in an email. Something to the effect of–’don’t mean to force the issue, but we all know why we’re here. Without necessarily writing anything in stone at this juncture, and will consider introductory conditions, what are your ideas re arrangement? I have some ideas, but would like to know that we are in the same ballpark so that we can enjoy the time we are together without these being an issue.’

  202. Midwest SB says:

    Sassyteacher – Welcome! All I can do is relate a similar experience with some sugar friends of mine. One is our age and has a good career in Montreal. She was on the site for at least two years, if not more. She came close a few times, but never found the true SD who gave her the sugar experiences with which we are familiar. Her take on it was that with prostitution being legal, it blurred the lines for sugar and pros. Another lady, in her mid-30s and near Ontario had no luck for a long time. She had one gent provide her with a lovely wardrobe, but it didn’t last long. There are a few Canadian SDs on the blog (Sincere, WCSD) who might be able to share their take on sugar in Canada. All I can say is be patient, do what’s best for you, take the advice on writing your profile that others have provided, and rock it when you get a date. All it takes is ONE SD!

  203. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Good to meet you SassyinMass. Wave from the UK x

  204. Midwest SB says:

    SassyinMass & LV – I’ve learned to delicately incorporate that I’m looking for financial support in my profile and just keep it going from there. A great way to help screen is to ask if they have had an arrangement in the past and what did they like most/ least about it. Once the conversation starts to flow, you can see if it’s appropriate to ask what terms worked best (how often, type of sugar such as gifts or allowances). In sales jargon, this is called “always closing’. :-) This isn’t really sales and it doesn’t have to be like a used car salesperson. However’ you do have to be confident in what you have to offer and the goals you are trying to achieve. If you want a peek, log in, preview your own profile, the put 835817 in place of your profile ID. Please feel free to feel inspired (had a lot of help from some of our sweet SDs) just don’t copy anything word-for-word. Thanks!

  205. sassyteacher says:

    @VASD Hi, You wrote a comment to Sassy-I think you meant me. There are two Sassys now: SassInMass and sassyteacher(me). You mentioned the following:

    “As per Sassy, if you think it’s not TO SOME DEGREE financial arrangement for sex (unless explicitly specified not) then your kidding yourself.”

    In response: I actually agree with you and did write the following (which is similar to your opinion): “Yes, there is a financial for sex exchange but that is within a very different context. First of all, mutual attraction is important and necessary.”

    I’m trying not to be too picky-sorry-just wanted to clarify my position.

    Sass

  206. Lady Vuitton *1171431 says:

    Thank you MidwestSB

    That is most helpful.

    x

  207. sassyteacher says:

    @JustAThoughtSD: I agree with your 2-drink limit. It’s better to be close to sober. If your sauced, then your tastes may be less discriminating and you may end up in the arms of someone who you may not have wanted, had you been sober. The other problem is that the SB or SD may be turned off by your lack of control and an arrangement that could have been great, becomes a no-go.

    @MidwestSB: Thank you for the warm welcome and info. I am in Quebec and live close to both the Vermont and New York borders so I’m not restricted to Canada which is a good thing because this site is definitely less popular in Canada. I have had a few discussions with SDs from your side of the border but nothing promising yet. I am patient and optimistic, though, and looking forward to the journey. I am also listening to everyone’s comments and each night, I make a change or two to my profile. It’s definitely a learning process in how best to market yourself. I have been someone’s mistress before, so I’m not a newbie in that sense but definitely raw when it comes to a website!

    @Jack: I enjoy reading your comments. You seem like a super guy! I am interested in your comment about steering away from women who indicate the $3000-$5000 range which is what I chose. I was hesitent to indicate $1000-$3000 because at the low end of the scale, it’s dinner and a show, once a week and that’s pretty much it. I would like to hear other people’s feedback/opinion with regards to monetary scale.

    This blog is lots of fun!

  208. California SB says:

    Wow, lots going on here!! My two cents on $$$$$$$$:

    I never met any SD willing to give a 5K allowance. I always give a number when we meet in person, but that number might change depending on the vibe. If the dude agrees to meet at an expensive restaurant and drives a bentley, I will always give an higher number. If the guy seems to be the “average” used BMW guy who is married with the average management job, I will give a lower number. The sugar couple… I told them I wanted a 4K one time allowance for a trial run, which they agreed, BUT they are TWO people, so that’s 2K per person.

    I said this before but when the SD thinks he is the one who calls the shots… it won’t work for me. There are some SD on this blog (not mentioning any names) who seems to be like that… no wonder he can’t find anybody ( no it is not you JustAThoughtSD neither you Flyr). :P

    I would stick to the two beers rule OR one martini. I also have the big c*ck rule: “for you is free my dear” LOL LOL LOL

  209. Theresa says:

    Thank you all for the very good advice. I will take everything you all have told me and put it into practice. You’re right, I really shouldn’t take advice from my daughter since she has a “horse in the game.” I’m sure she doesn’t want me to be “out there” due to the fact that I am her mother. She would probably have mixed feelings even if I were to start dating in the non-sugar world, because that’s just how children are, they want Mommy to stay “Mommy” no matter how old they get. In conclusion, thank you again, and I will take the advice of more objective voices.

  210. Flyer says:

    Instead of asking how much are you willing to offer I think it would be much more productive to ask how would your ideal sugar relationship work, what’s important to you.

    I’m a firm believer in trying to understand the potential partners goals , a turn ons and tuRnoffs before the financial discussion. The exception is confirmation that you art talking in the same range.

    Like jack when I was searching I generally filtered out those above what I thought was reasonable. On occasion I contacted someone and usually in the second note said something to the effect that I see your indicated range……. It is beyond what I want to devote to this and I’ll understand if that’s an important threshold to you. Most of the time the answer was yes the floor was firm but on others it was something to the effect that it was as screening tool.

    Drinks – there are times when your first or second meeting evolves into a far ranging discussion of travel, the world (that calls for another drink) the meaning of life etc. the only reason I would not have more wine is if I were expecting to have sex for the first time, it’s an A game moment that only happens once.

    If the situation were reversed I would want to know how long their last relationship lasted, what was the best part, what were the challenges.

  211. Jack says:

    I think I need to explain my “$3000 rule” a bit more.

    First, let me respond to CalifSB, who states, “I never met any SD willing to give a 5K allowance.”

    Well, I have done TWO $5000+ trial arrangements in the past few months, and canned them both, and developed my “$3000 rule” as a result. Both ladies were far more into the money than me. I do not denigrate these ladies for their choice–to each his (or her) own–but it wasn’t for me. I probably have some extra sensitivity on this topic because I believe (my ex-wife will disagree) that my divorce resulted largely from my ex’s greater interest in my money than me. Although I tolerated that behavior for quite some time (love sure makes one do stupid stuff, sometimes!), I finally said enough is enough and filed!

    My $3000 rule isn’t because I think that greater amounts aren’t “reasonable” (I am not here to judge what is “reasonable”) or because “that is all I want to devote to this” (as Flyer put it). My rule has come into being because I think bigger dollar amounts simply select for women whose focus is more on the money than the person, and it also selects for women for whom being on SA IS their full-time job. I am looking for a woman who has a job or a major outside interest, and for whom SA is the icing on the cake–not the whole cake.

    The irony to my selection process is that the woman who will demand the least from me will probably end up getting the most because I am much more likely to like (and be generous to) a woman whom I believe genuinely cares for me than for a woman who views me as an ATM. I am not advocating this approach to any SB, and I am sure somebody will tell me that SB’s who don’t make their demands known up front risk getting screwed (in a bad way).

    All I am saying is that as to me, a less money-centered approach will yield far better results than the contrary.

    And SassyTeacher, thanks for your kind remarks about my comments. Feel free to say hi–my profile is 989322.

    Jack

  212. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: ooooohhhhh I’m intrigued! You’re my kind of naughty ;)

  213. California SB says:

    Jack… we are all here for the money, honey!!! 3K, 5K 1K.. One direction front row concert tickets… you name it!!! BTW if any SD wants to help me get my little sister front row One Direction concert tickets, lemme know!!!!
    :P

  214. Midwest SB says:

    Sassyteacher – A few thoughts…if you’re willing and able to travel across the border, then perhaps you can put multiple metropolitan areas as your location, then clarify in your profile that you are in Quebec and willing to travel. That may improve your chances in the search results. As far as allowances go, sugar is different from being a mistress in that the cost of entertainment (dinner, shows, travel, hotel, etc.) are considered the cost of sugar and are not typically factored into the SB’s allowance. Our gents are well aware of the cost of “dating” and it’s not necessarily to include this amount when considering an allowance. What you DO want to consider are some goals your trying to attain (business start-up, spending money, pay off bills, go to school, etc.) then determine what will help you reach these goals over a reasonable period of time. You can also choose to be a gift or travel SB where you don’t get an allowance, but you get all the perks of someone who is generous and travels. To Jack’s point, sometimes being a gift SB can be far more rewarding as there are many men who don’t like to attach an number to a relationship, but are generous to a fault. There are also SBs who don’t feel comfortable receiving an allowance, but love to shop or travel. Pick your preference and run with it :-)

  215. Stormcat says:

    Thanks for all your input

    The thing is that I feel that picnic girl is actually sincere in her situation. She doesn’t seem to be trying to cheat on her husband rather it seems that she needs to be finding some reason and confidence to give her the strength to move forward with her life. To escape the opression and subterfuge that she lives with continueously. Of course I’m a sucker for an underdog. But I recognise her situation as real and I really am attracted to her because she is really beautful and she is exactly the right person for me. I mean If I wrote out all the details of who would be the perfedt match for me phyically, spiritually, intellectually, socially, etc. She would come up as number 1 on the list.I mean I did the match thing and out of the 358 women who mutually matched me she was the first one thatr I contacted. There is something about her that just fits me and I think that all she needs is a reason to move on. A someplace ( someone) to go to, in order to give her the confidence to do the hard thing that she knows is inevitable. I just don’t want to be a rebound!

  216. Tina says:

    @Stormcat: I know how you feel – I’m getting myself into a somewhat similar situation. Just be careful with your heart – it’s very easy to overlook and justify things when you’re attracted to someone. I know, because I find myself doing it. And yes, I’m really attracted to the person that he is, but I have to be careful to not make his situation and thoughts about it seem like they are in my favor (i.e. he’s not happy in his marriage, he’s only together with her because of their son, etc. etc.).

    What I’m saying is that it’s wonderful that you’ve found someone so perfect for you. Just please protect your heart until you know he intentions with the situation. She doesn’t deserve the whole you until she makes herself available to receive it.

  217. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Stormcat

    I’ll say this as another guy,SD,and brother-in-arms, run far, run fast. I already know you won’t listen, but maybe it’ll help you to see the floor as it starts to fall out rather than once you hit the bottom. I hope things go very well for you, but I’ve been in almost exactly this same situation, before.

    “finding some reason and confidence to give her the strength to move forward with her life.To escape the opression and subterfuge that she lives with continueously.” — Her situation isn’t bad enough to garner the reason and strength to escape on her own? Perhaps, she is using him as a crutch or fallback just in case things don’t go as she has planned. This usually will backfire. You never know what someone will do when they’re living with their ex. I won’t go into details but guys get used enough when they open their heart.

    ” I mean If I wrote out all the details of who would be the perfedt match for me phyically, spiritually, intellectually, socially, etc.” — I notice you didn’t write “emotionally.” Freudian slip, perhaps. I don’t specifically know if she’s truly available emotionally, which would be a horrible predicament, because you sure are smitten. I also know that if you wrote out all the details, I would never find “living with her ex and placing me as the reason to leave him and her life of oppression and subterfuge.” Dude, you say you root for the underdog, but it’s your own white knight complex that’s kicking in. I’ve been the white knight, dudley do-right, and captain save-a-ho. Saving damsels in distress costs alot of time and money. The usual reward? Pain and heartache, my friend. Tequila and a good woman were the only things that helped me forget all the times I’ve been there. Now, all I got is tequila, but fuck it anyway.

    “I don’t want to be a rebound!” — Sugar relationships are already on a timer. When it’s over will you know if it was a rebound or if it was just sugar? You won’t care either way once it’s over. We’ll be here to chat, whether it lasts a day,month, or year. So, go for it. Enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts, and make some good memories. Pour out some tequila for my memories as you do. :)

  218. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina
    RAWR!

    @Theresa
    Personally, I’d love for my mom to find the “right” guy for her. She’ll always be mom, but she’s also a grown woman. Remind your daughter that you may have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. Just be safe out there, and trust yer gut.

  219. Brezo says:

    Good Evening to everyone! I’m new to this site but not a new SB. Well, I have been reading alot on this site since I joined. I have to say there is some interesting reading and some great advice!
    @Jack I can understand your point of view…yes there are going to be people on here that you will not “click” with…But don’t lose faith there are alot of us SB’s that will not move ahead with an arrangement unless there is true chemistry. In my case that is my number one rule. This is an arrangement between 2 people that is more than just money…I couldn’t imagine going on a long trip with my SD if the only redeeming quility he had was his money. I dont fault anyone for what they like or can “live with” but Im with you there has to be boundries. If its not working than you have to make changes.

  220. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @CaliforniaSB

    re: your big c*ck rule
    Does that mean you’ll buy me dinner,drinks, and give me an allowance? Do you draw your measuring chart on legal sized paper? How far do I have to be into the OMG section before you wonder if it was a good idea to try it?

    With Fond Wishes,
    –Your Biggest Fan *pun intended*

  221. sassyteacher says:

    @JustAThoughtSD Never heard of a captain save-a-ho. I love it! I’m going to keep that one. Probably not one that I could tell my French students. hahaha… Could you imagine their parents! “She taught you what?”. So far, their favourite expression that I’ve taught them is, “Holy flying pencils, Batman!” which I let out one day when I dropped my pencil case on the floor! LOL

    And, with regards to size… Too long is not always great. A long, skinny one sometimes leaves you with the feeling of being poked in the mouth with a broom-handle. Girth, on the other hand can be great, if you’re ready! Administering fellatio can be a problem though-this becomes the time when being called ‘a big-mouth’ is a good thing. Where are you, Chapstick?!?

    My satisfaction depends solely on the man that the member is attached to. ;-)

    Sass

  222. Brezo says:

    you girls are to funny…In my experience a man who is on the shy size of average has a few extra tricks up his sleave to make up for any “shortcomings.” Actually my last long time SD actually gave me… as the doc told me a “sex head ache” from an over load of endorphins! I sure will miss my SD :( On a different note Im glad to see not every SD on here is looking for the 20 ish SB since I am in my 40′s… so far so good

    Brezo

  223. VASD says:

    @Sassyteacher Yes, aware of the difference between SassyT and SassyM. I somehow wound up in a conversation with the both of you–forgive any confusion.

    I totally agree on the required attraction. That DOES go both ways. And, as per your ‘man the member is attached to’, comment, I feel that way about many ladies. Sure, there needs to be a strong initial attraction, but I’ve had a lot of fun with ladies who might objectively be considered plain, and been bored out of my mind with ladies who might initially be considered bombshell super-models.

    Shifting over to new conversation now.

  224. sassyteacher says:

    @VASD SassyT – I like the sound of that. Thank you and happy conversation shifting.

    sassyteacher

  225. California SB says:

    JustAThoughtSD…sooooooooooooooooooooooo how big? :P You must also be tall, have a head full of hair and be extremely handsome. Then drinks, and hotel are on me. :P

  226. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @CalifSB

    Bah, too many requirements. What if I was 3 1/2 ft tall, bald , and I could use it like a kickstand? You ever seen the Austin Powers movies?

  227. Tina says:

    @JaTSD: RAWR back atcha hot stuff ;) Mmmmm, another tequila lover? WHOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!

  228. JustAThoughtSD says:

    @Tina

    All I can do is shake my head. I fear for the people around us if we ever ever got together, and my *AHEM* smile just keeps getting bigger the more I think about it. All I can tell you is that one memorable moment while we were at the nightclub for my sister’s bday, was when I was shaking my booty down “getting low” laughing at my sis and her friend (30y.o.’s) dancing w/me that couldn’t keep up. Of course, pride goeth before a fall, and while I was down there “getting low” my booty ended up on the floor and me rolling backwards. Now my sis and her friend were laughing back at me. I was quite drunk that nite, it was very hilarious for all. I wasn’t hurt (even my pride.) Nothing that getting up and dirty dancing with some random group of college girls didn’t fix. (She stuck her butt out at me first, so it was ok.) I’m sure you have guessed what town I was in this weekend, but we’ll keep it our lil secret. I’d hate for the other SD’s to see me in the wild and point and giggle.

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