1 year ago
Falling In Love with Sugar
  • Posted Mar 8, 2013
  • Views 58175
  • Written by Angela

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Girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. If only it was that simple.

Motives behind Sugar vary based on what each Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby is looking for. Many look for a serious relationship with the option of marriage or something long-term in the end, others may be married and looking into a discreet arrangement. But more often than not, it is used as casual dating with a mutually beneficial twist.

No strings attached goes hand-in-hand with the Sugar Bowl like peanut butter and jelly. Some people prefer only having one, but most people like them together. What happens if the Sugar starts becoming more than an addiction? Instead of being a treat, you start needing it like insulin for a diabetic. What do you do when you find yourself falling in love with your Sugar?


1. Access what you are feeling. Are you really in love or simply infatuated by having someone: Sugar Babies- who is rich and treats you like a princess every time he or she meets with you; Sugar Daddies-who gives you undivided attention and satisfies you in every way.

2. Abort, dive in, or ignore. These are the options you will need to choose from. To abort would mean giving up your Sugar to avoid any awkward arguments or incidents. Diving in would require coming outright with your true feelings. Sugar Daddies keep in mind that if she “reciprocates” you MUST stop the allowance part of the relationship. Sugar Babies, it’s the same for you as well. If a relationship does evolve, then spoiling can resume after the trial a period of non-Sugaring. You can also ignore these feelings and continue on as if nothing is wrong. The latter usually never works and inevitably ends in sour or bitterness.

3. Execution is everything. If you have chosen to dive in and admit to having feelings, you will need a solid plan as to how to break it to your Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby. Choose a meaningful and private location where no one will bother you. Broach the subject at the end of the evening, but carry on the rest of the date as you would any other meeting.

4. The Sugar-less period. Good news! If you made it this far, then everything went well. This is by far the most difficult part, since you will have to undergo a period of time without the financial aspect of the arrangement. Continue to be mutually beneficial, however do not give or expect any money until you can see how each other reacts to this type of setting.

Have you ever fallen in love with Sugar? What happened?
What do you think a Sugar Daddy or Baby should do if they fall in love with his or her Sugar?

129 Responses to “Falling In Love with Sugar”

  1. Angela says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. Bella says:

    First! :D

  3. Bella says:

    Also, I think I’m falling in love with sugar. Not with my SD, but the sugar itself. This is my kind of love. :D

  4. Tina says:

    yo! second! sweet}{!yhijj\g

  5. Tina says:

    ahhhh, blog effects of a 70# dog who thinks he fits in my lap

  6. Tina says:

    After reading this post a little more closely, it seems to me that we’re mixing topics. Is the topic of this post supposed to be falling in love with your SD/SB, or is it supposed to be falling in love with the sugar itself? These two items are quite different from one another. Are you falling in love with the person, or are you falling in love with the benefits of the relationship. That is something SDs and SBs both need to have clear, since there are different consequences for the two issues.

  7. Phoneguy says:

    Access? ;-)

  8. Phoneguy says:

    }{!yhijj\g
    Well said, Tina. ;-)

  9. Tina says:

    Haha veeeery funny @Phoneguy :P Brat!

  10. Tina says:

    And that quote was from my dog, actually

  11. sTacy, says:

    Why would gift$ and $poiling need to go away if you move into a more traditional relationship? If the basis of the sugar is a nice, generous guy wanting to take care of you, how does that become a problem in a relationship?

  12. Phoneguy says:

    @stacy, because if you really have feelings for her and her for you, you want to know it has nothing to do with sugar and can exist outside of sugar.

  13. Lo says:

    I think I just realized why my SD may have shorted me..I refused unprotected sex…

  14. Bella says:

    Then I’d kick him to the curb, Lo. If he can’t respect your health, he’s not worth your time.

  15. sTacy, says:

    I think it’s funny how men are so willing to completely ignore the pregnancy risk. Yes, there’s birth control, but let’s be honest – how many times have you forgotten to take your pill? Yet they don’t even ask – they just assume you’ve got it covered so they should be able to go bareback ’cause they prefer it.

  16. YoungLady says:

    I was trying to think of something cute to say, to introduce myself with a BANG… however, I’m been working soo hard, and studying even harder I am off to have a glass of wine (I haven’t seen daylight in weeks). Woops okay, two things wrong with my sentence; It’s 215 in London and I’m not much of a drinker. Ahh, oh wells ((Shy face)) Whilst I’m talking gibberish.. Tina and Russian, marry me?!

    Okay, enough of my bad grammar. Take care everyone. I’ll be back at 0200 with something that actually correlates to this post. <– goodness bad English too? Exhaustion for you.

    Soft Kisses

    YoungLady xx

  17. YoungLady says:

    I’ve just realised my picture looks familiar ((Thinking face)).

  18. Lo says:

    i know..ew..

  19. Frank says:

    To bring up a thread from last topic and it ties into this one as well.

    @So gross when SDs don’t provide what they agreed to – unless you somehow upset him and he was trying to teach you a lesson?

    When my SB and I got back together, one of the things I told her was that I was going to limit her money to the agreed amount ( I give her an allowance weekly, whether we see each other or not), which she assented to. Since then she has consistently been overdrawn at the bank and has asked for help, which I have done, but in the guise of an advance of next weeks allowance. Last week she asked for help and I gave her her allowance in advance. We were to meet last Sunday, but she canceled, because of illness. We had rescheduled for Tuesday. Early on Tuesday she texted and asked for money to meet a pressing bill. I told her I was unable to it that week, and she said OK. About 10 minutes later, she texted me and said she had been asked to come in and work overtime, and would not be able to see me.

    So my question is, who taught who a lesson?

    Any way I was supposed to be out of town for the weekend, but as it turned out, am coming back Sunday.. I asked her if she wanted to meet, but she told me she was very sorry, but had made other plans.

    Now we are supposed to meet Thursday. Any bets on whether she comes up with another good excuse? (clue, she just got back her tax return, and does not need money right now)

  20. Tina says:

    Losing an hour on your weekend blows. ‘Nuff said.

  21. sTacy, says:

    Frank – seems like she needs to be on a P4P arrangement in order to incentivize her to show up for your meetings. Even though I have a very set arrangement with my SD he always has extra treats when we get together so I’d never cancel on him.

  22. RussianSB says:

    Some boys here date over 50 woman from the site … and still seeking, that I call sugar addiction.

  23. RussianSB says:

    So, Maldives.
    (Travel junky guide).
    Who am I to complain … but a big no-no for modern businessman.
    Slow Wi-Fi , small islands , sea plane communication only. Slow-thinking and slow-moving islanders,
    I guess New-Yorkers looks for them like a nervous brake-down creatures. One island – one hotel, no way to get out – can you imagine tropical paradise in Alkatraz ? All country above 1 meter from the sea level, one good wave …. Also Russians turn it into family resorts , but it nice for me – feels like home , and some Russian contract-workers can help me if nobody understand my bad English. I don’t think that to bring small kids is a brilliant idea, because if something happens , who knows how long you will wait for emergency plane there. When we leave, they have some political street protest at Male. Pity that I miss it , I just want to look at protesting islanders, who clean the room longer than 2 hours.
    Phoneguy – I am happy that you find a GF there , now it is time for me to find a husband there !
    English newbie, I do love English roses, I do love your grammar, by the way Moscow welcoming me with -5’C (nice spring weather, I guess), and I really don’t thing the wine will be much of help. What can be better that single molt wiskey ?

  24. RussianSB says:

    Sugar daddy win that beautiful trip on charity auction, and have nobody to go with. That is sad.

  25. RussianSB says:

    Reading now ‘’The adventure of Sherlock Holmes’’ :
    “I tell you, Mr. Holmes, this man collects women, and takes a pride in
    his collection, as some men collect moths or butterflies. He had it all in
    that book. Snapshot photographs, names, details, everything about them.
    It was a beastly book–a book no man, even if he had come from the
    gutter, could have put together. But it was Adelbert Gruner’s book all the
    same. ‘Souls I have ruined.’ He could have put that on the outside if he
    had been so minded. However, that’s neither here nor there, for the book
    would not serve you, and, if it would, you can’t get it.”

  26. YoungLady says:

    @ Russian: If only I’d seen your post earlier (thanks moderation, hehe), you are very correct, the wine did nothing. Hmm.. Stress relief, stress relief, stress relief? Any ideas? -5′C? Wow beautiful, I thought England was the land of horrid weather, I’d be happy to share some of our 3′C with ya’? (By the way, you Russian creatures – creatures in the mystical sense – are some of the most beautiful things in the world; no fair ((Sad face)).

    Falling in love with sugar??

    The lifestyle: Easily done, understandably too. However, very dangerous. I am currently coming out of my no sugar phase (I decided, God knows why, that I wanted to go the independent route. Two months ago, I stopped – or tried to – Sugar and got a second Job. NEVER AGAIN. Oh my, I haven’t worked two jobs, whilst studying, since I was 16; I am 18 for the curious).

    I also see why daddies can be addicted, excluding the lucky ladies youth, the generosity aspect can be very addicting. I just spent £1000 on mummy dearest for her birthday (not that I could afford it, right now, haha – I miss Sugar), she was so happy, I want to do it again and again and again. Now for mothers day; I’m taking her for lunch (first mothers day I’ve spent with her since I was 13 maybe so, wish me luck).

    The Sugee: Big no no for me. One of the reasons I ventured into sugar was not to fall in love however I must not be good at it because nearly all the gentlemen (even after a short two months) ALWAYS say that scary four letter word. What am I doing wrong?

  27. YoungLady says:

    To my wonderful and sexy-smart business daddies: any suggestions as to where I could find a business mentor? I do not want to mix business with sugar (my business – not yet launched, is my baby). Or even, business communities (international, online, ect)? I’ve been looking for a month, nothing (Sad face). Anyone who can help, I’ll love you forever.

  28. YoungLady says:

    Again.. excuse my grammar. I am currently writing this with one heel on.

    Kisses

    YoungLady

  29. Frank says:

    sTacy-

    You suggested turning this into a P4P sort of thing. I have thought of that as a possible solution. Any thoughts on how to accomplish that?

  30. Lo says:

    Hi Frank, I’m sure Tracy will have a good suggestion but you can say, I will offer x amount per meet. I don’t say no to those kinds of arrangements as long as the amount per meet isn’t low otherwise I’d feel like an escort.

  31. Lo says:

    i mean stacy

  32. Theresa says:

    I need to make an arrangement for an allowance with my SD. Right now he only gives me a little when we meet up and I’m not making it. How do you think I should bring up the idea of a regular allowance? I’ve only seen him twice and I feel like I should be getting a regular allowance instead of being a P4P girl.

  33. Bella says:

    All you can do is talk about it with him, and he’s probably expecting you to bring it up. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, move on. This should be a convo you have on the first date or before in email! It saves on awkwardness later. :P

  34. sTacy, says:

    @Frank:

    “Baby, I’m starting to feel a little toyed with when you call for help with expenses and then aren’t there for me when I want to see you. I need to switch to giving you an allowance of $500 every mtime we meet so I won’t feel used when you have to reschedule at the last minute.”

  35. sTacy, says:

    @Phoneguy -

    Under that same logic, does she need to stop being young and attractive, put on 30 lbs. and stop getting dolled up to make sure you’re really attracted to her? If she tells you that she’s really into you, trust that (unless, like Frank’s SB) her actions say otherwise. If a man’s generosity is part of what attracts a woman to him, those guys are a dime a dozen, it’s the rest of the package that keeps her attached – eliminating sugar just puts unnecessary strain on the relationship.

    P.S. – any other SBs get bully texted and harassed by an SD from North Carolina who says he works in telecom? I received about 20 awful texts in a row one night from this snake who pretends to be an SD then gets ugly and nasty when you ask about being taken care of in a reciprocal manner (as he’s not attractive in a way that many girls would be able to see).

  36. Phoneguy says:

    @Stacy,
    Hey it wasn’t my idea. I just agree with it. ;-)
    And yes to an extent. I think the relationship does need to become a little more traditional. Yes, I’d like to see her in sweats and a pony tail, no makeup. If she’s been holding back on sharing things about her life and difficulties she is having, now is the time to make it real. Money in an evelope tucked in a GF’s purse? Ugh.

    If she tells you that she’s really into you, trust that
    Oh Lord, if I had a nickel for every time…. ;-)

  37. sTacy, says:

    But Phoneguy – if her difficulties are financial haven’t you just made them more difficult by taking away the financial support you’d otherwise be giving?

  38. sTacy, says:

    And, guaranteed – if you thought she liked you then you found out it was just about your $$$ there were a bijillion warning signs along the way you chose to ignore.

  39. Phoneguy says:

    @Stacy,
    Hopefully she doesn’t have financial difficulties. If she did, hopefully she has saved some for a rainy day during the months until we fell in love. Barring all that, I’m a softie and would probably help regardless. But if she is going to be my girlfriend, maybe I need to take a more active roll in helping her with fiscal responsibility. Instead of making a deposit or handing her cash and not worrying about what she is doing with it, I may need to help her look at her income and expenditures and see if changes need to be made. Maybe we need to pay off some bills to lessen her wasted interest expense and improve her cash flow.

    The rules are definitely different for GFs than SBs.

  40. sTacy, says:

    Phoneguy- to me this is exactly what a great SD would do, and having him be so helpful and caring would make me like him more, for how well he uses his money in order to make my life better, not because of the money itself. And, if an SD were offering this sort of support in the beginning of a relationship why should he stop all of a sudden just because I develop feelings for him?

    I also point out that dating a wealthy man is expensive! Am I going to accompany my SD/BF to a $1,500 a plate black tie fundraiser in a dress off the rack from Target and chewed fingernails? No! I would be humiliated to look so cheap and out of place, and it would be cruel if him not to recognize that.

    When the real feelings start is when the sugar should get sweeter.

  41. Lo says:

    Stacy I know it’s expensive. And some of these damn SD’s notice everything like hair color..false lashes..blah blah blah. So I’m bracing myself for a potential SD to tell me off. I just flaked a half hour before meeting him for the first time because I’m pmsing like a mad cow and when I saw the traffic on the freeway I was like hellz no and turned around.

  42. Lo says:

    I emailed him telling him the circumstances but won’t give me his phone number so hopefully he’ll see my message…

  43. Phoneguy says:

    I also point out that dating a wealthy man is expensive! Am I going to accompany my SD/BF to a $1,500 a plate black tie fundraiser in a dress off the rack from Target and chewed fingernails?
    I wonder what percentage of SB dates involve this? I’ve never taken one of my SBs to such an event. ;-)

  44. Lo says:

    Theresa if I were you I’d just get a second SD if you’re not making it with the first. i told my first SD what I was aiming for each month and he was like yeah I can get you close to three grand each month. Yeah my asshole. Some of these guys are so full of shit, I’d just get another SD and combine sugar incomes.

  45. sTacy, says:

    Theresa – keep the SD who you seem to like and keep looking for another, then once you’ve found a more lucrative offer tell SD #1 that you need more – he can meet your needs, you can keep him as a side dish, or dismiss him all together. But, wait until you have options first – since it seemed like you liked him originally.

    Phoneguy – It’s a big expectation from my SD – at least a few events a month. I imagine most SDs don’t take their girls to events like that because they pursue women who are inappropriately young and not intellectually capable of fitting in at an event like that.

  46. Phoneguy says:

    Well then you have an excellent argument for asking for sugar after you fall in love with your SD. ;-)

  47. sTacy, says:

    Phoneguy – you are a hopeless romantic.

  48. Phoneguy says:

    I imagine most SDs don’t take their girls to events like that because they pursue women who are inappropriately young and not intellectually capable of fitting in at an event like that.
    Or because they don’t go to those events. ;-)

  49. Phoneguy says:

    Thank you Stacy! :-)

  50. Lo says:

    Jersey why do you disappear when SDinLA disappears??

  51. Lo says:

    a potential SD I haven’t even met up with yet just messaged me out of nowhere and said “maybe we can have sex early in the day”. SMDH

  52. Lo says:

    UPDATE: so he says he’s expecting regular sex, and i said okay if we’re going to be so blunt and upfront what will be the financial aspects of this arrangement. And this creeper has the nerve to demand two meets a week at a measly two grand per month. I tell him what other SD’s have offered in comparison and he responds by saying you’re actually getting that much??? WOWW you must be real good. Then he tells me he dated a girl of a similar ethnicity who didn’t complain about what she was getting and I said it’s because she didn’t know any better.

    Smh that’s enough tomfoolery for one night folks.

  53. EllenSugarB says:

    Oooohh…another interesting topic.

    I agree the “trial non-allowance” period is essential if you think/feel/or actually are in love with your SD and truly want a real relationship with him. However, I do not agree with PhoneGuys line of thinking that the sugar detox will prove or validate the integrity behind someones expressed emotions. (…No personal offense phoneguy, I’m just using the example…) In my experience, when someone questioned my feelings and suggested taking the sugar out of it because they want to “see if the feelings are real” I had a few reactions: (1) I thought that it was pathetic that they didn’t have enough confidence in themselves to believe that my feelings were genuine. The lack of confidence was unattractive in itself. (2) I was offended that they would question my integrity. (3) Then came the acceptance stage lol. It goes something like this – (don’t read on if you don’t want to hear my rant lol)

    “Ok. That’s a great idea. Lets take the sugar out of the equation. And while were doing that, lets be honest about a few things that the sugar does in the relationship to benefit you. For one, tolerate a LOT of nonsense from you that would otherwise prove unacceptable. Being that I’ve put up with a bunch of your bs (flakiness, constant schedule changes, emotional ineptitude, social awkwardness, immaturity, fatness and laziness, general lack of relationship and communication skills, etc.) that I otherwise would NEVER have considered bothering with, you really have little to no idea how hard it is going to be (for You) to actually have a REAL relationship with me. So, now that we’re staring out the window into the world of Real Relationships, lets go ahead and toss the sugar out the window – oh, ya..and while we’re at it, were going to toss all of my patience for the flakiness, schedule changes, emotional ineptitude, social awkwardness, immaturity, fatness and laziness, general lack of relationship and communication skills out the window as well. See, what you don’t know yet is that the bar is actually a LOT higher than you think it is. So let’s see how much you like cleaning up your act. And then were going to see how much you like it when I’m not accommodating you.

    Secondly, sugar affords me more leisure time. Leisure time which I spend with you. Now, instead of you being the center of my world, you will simply fall into the cracks and we will see each other when I have spare time, which is seldom.

    OH…and by the way…since we are throwing the sugar out the window, let’s go ahead and stop sleeping together as well. After all, I want to know if you REALLY love me, and that you’re not just in it for the sex.

    So lets do this! Lets have a real relationship. It’s really a win-win for me because now you’re going to have to clean up your act, and in the end, you’re going to keep giving me an allowance, anyway. Only now, there will be no more envelopes. (“Ew” is right!) It will be you spoiling me in more specific and personal ways. So, basically, I only see this turning out in my favor. But really, get over yourself with the “prove that you love me without sugar” nonsense. It sounds pathetic.”

  54. EllenSugarB says:

    “two meets a week at a measly two grand per month.”

    That’s a boyfriend, not a SD.

  55. EllenSugarB says:

    I know, I know…I sound like a total brat in that post above lol.

    But really, I do see the point in sugar detox before entering into a real relationship. Inevitably, there will be a shift in the dynamics of the relationship. Whether great or small, there will be a shift.

  56. EllenSugarB says:

    On another note…I met a SD recently. He gave me a teeny-tiny amount when we first met (maybe $200). But something really weird happened…we actually LIKED each other. “For-real” like, not “sugar-blind” like. As the date went we realized that we had a LOT in common, including our sense of humor, which is rare but totally cool. As the date went on that $200 was burning a hole in my purse, and it kinda felt gross and I wanted to give it back. YES! Give-It-Back! Wtf?!?! That has NEVER happened before. I said, “Whoa I really like you, but I DONT want to meet you like this.” So, I told him about a hangout I go to (totally public and safe) which, coincidentally, he also frequents. And I said, “I’d rather forget that this ever happened, and if we just randomly run into each other somewhere, lets take it from there. In a normal way.”

    So weird, but sorta on the topic.

  57. Lo says:

    lol ellen “we actually LIKED each other” hahahahah omg if we were allowed signatures I’d make that mine.

  58. EllenSugarB says:

    Incoming: “maybe we can have sex early in the day”

    Outgoing: “maybe you can pay my rent this month”

    Notice that was written as a statement. no “?”

    Take notes ladies…lol

  59. Phoneguy says:

    @Ellen,
    You’re all over the map here. You agree AND disagree? You agree for different reasons? You’re quoting “prove you love me” but I can’t find anyone saying that on the page.
    Again everyone, the idea was put forth by the writter of the topic, not me. If you don’t like, don’t do it. If you don’t plan on falling for your SD, I don’t even know why you are here discussing this. Useful tool…interesting idea…your milage may vary…bla bla bla.
    Also you’re coming off very aggressively. All this “win-win”, “clean up your act” nonsense does not sound like you are falling in love with anyone. ;-)

  60. EllenSugarB says:

    easy now – I admitted that I was complaining

  61. EllenSugarB says:

    “@stacy, because if you really have feelings for her and her for you, you want to know it has nothing to do with sugar and can exist outside of sugar.”

    The above post implied that there was a need to prove feelings.

    Dude, I like you. And I like your posts. My rant has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own personal past experience.

    But you’re right—I shouldn’t have brought up your name. My bad! :)

  62. EllenSugarB says:

    You’re right, I agree that from a practicality standpoint it’s necessary to see if the relationship is sustainable outside of the sugar context. I disagree that it is necessary to prove said feelings. I like to think that there would be enough trust between the two of you that you didn’t need proof and tests to validate their feelings.

    I also agree that I totally sounded aggressive – that guy I was complaining about was SO annoying, annoying beyond words. Hence my disclaimer “don’t read on if you don’t want to hear my rant.”

    The sad part…we did have feelings for each other. I did and still do have love for him. But the sugar made me compromise my standards, and when the time came to get serious and I raised the bar – he didn’t measure up. And it was disappointing.

  63. RussianSB says:

    I am not see much difference between my sugar relationship and regular ones.
    When I have BF, he buy me fashion trifles, cosmetics, computers, furnitures , pay some of my bills. Because he can do it and want do it, not because we have some arrangement . And he does it with pleasure, not with knife at his throat. So I don’t see much difference, and I not put away my ”drama” options for any amount of money :) But I can be discrete, but never boys ask for that, they dying to show everyone their attractive, well dressed, cute babe (even married guys !!!).
    It is so natural – to take care about your GF, if you have some extra $$$.
    Every sugarbaby and every sugardaddy is unique, and every situation is unique.

  64. Treasured says:

    “…he dated a girl of a similar ethnicity…” – What an asshole! So, does it mean, that white girls should get more and black girls should get less? Lovely. NOT.

    If you fall in love, should sugar stop?
    Hmm… Let me think. Just maintaining my beauty hair, nails, body, etc. etc. etc. costs me close to 1000 GBP. Us, girls, don’t look the way we look just rolling out of beds. Should this stop too? I wonder how long, any of you, SD, will be happy in this situation?
    In MY opinion, if the relationship DOES start (as in, falling in love), any SD actually should sit the girl down, and ask, what amount does she NEEDS per month? Not wants, but needs. And act according to her needs.
    Guess what actions should earn more respect and love? Cutting out my allowance or actually taking into consideration what would make my life easier.

    I do agree, that it should go both ways. A girl should stop “I will meet x times per month with you” business. And just meet when you to can/want. Again – if she stops meeting altogether and comes up with the excuses of not meeting all the time – you will see how much she “really” likes you.

    Although… There is a 3rd option. Of putting up with my other SDs. But that brings other problems. Like, how much do YOU really like me, if you are rather willing for me to fuck with someone else, instead of just supporting me?
    Unless, you are not able to afford it.

  65. Treasured says:

    Stopping the allowance to prove that you “love” me, really pisses me off!

    If I SAY I have feelings for you, I do! And, if you are idiotic enough, and don’t know me well enough, to distinguish between me lying about it and telling the truth, and want me to PROVE anything, what the fuck are you doing, trying to built a relationship, if you do NOT trust a person from the start???

  66. Phoneguy says:

    @Ellen
    It implies a lot of things but you can choose the words you like and put quotes around them.
    But the sugar made me compromise my standards, and when the time came to get serious and I raised the bar – he didn’t measure up.
    That’s fine. So what can you generalize about that experience and how would you like to handle a similar situation in the future?

  67. Phoneguy says:

    I am not see much difference between my sugar relationship and regular ones.
    And that’s why I love you RussianSB. ;-)

  68. sTacy, says:

    @Ellen – I loved your rant BTW – it’s exactly the words from my brain (except you always say them nicer). Lol!

  69. Frank says:

    Treasured, I wish I could tell when a woman was lying to me. I thought I could tell, but the last few years have shaken my faith in that having that ability.

    Its especially difficult when the relationship starts out with a lot of white lies on both sides. (You know where you tell him he is attractive to you, or he tells you he likes your sense of humor) I thought one of my SB had a genuine fondness for me (didn’t want or ever expect love) I had a fondness for her. In the end, I learned she was treating me like a ATM, just make up a big lie and get more money type of machine.

    How was I supposed to know she didn’t have feelings for me, what is the tell? Treasure, how should your SD know your feelings are genuine, and not just part of the sugar act.

  70. Treasured says:

    @Frank – in my case let’s first put into equation, what type of person SD is at the first place. If that is the most typical SD Ellen has described – you can forget about it. I am in love with the sugar, and not him. And, falling in love with such type is impossible.

    Now then, once we past it. My actions will talk more than my words. Do I genuinely don’t want to leave after meeting is over? Do I suggest/agree to unscheduled meets? Do I send you silly little notes? And, one of the biggest – are you actually allowed to call me anytime?
    Also… With me it is noticeable in a physical way… I would never want to spend a day in bed with a person, for whom I don’t have feelings. Also… I just melt… A softer side of me appears… And I am vulnerable… And do not put up with just anything – I start to say back… And it is all very new :D
    Perhaps a person who knows it, would have described it better… Alas, in the lack of one to do so, you just have to trust me. :D

  71. Frank says:

    Treasure-thanks for your insight. Am looking at my current SB, trying to determine how she feels about me. Kinda of a mixed bag-whe often cancels our dates, but has a good excuse, but always finds the time to email/text me, but these exchanges often end up in her asking for more presents, will spend extra time with me, and tells me I melt her.

    Does she like me, or does she not. That is the question.

  72. sTacy, says:

    Frank – she’s not into you. I know that sounds harsh, but she just isn’t. If you’re not sure if a woman likes you, she doesn’t. And, excuses for not being able to see you – are just that. I would move heaven and hell to be able to make it to a date with someone I was into, But for an average SD I wouldn’t do much to rearrange my schedule – unless there were money and presents for me waiting.

  73. Frank says:

    Stacy, guess you are right. Its OK, i’m not falling for her, just wish I was more to her than a job. Oh well.

  74. RussianSB says:

    Does she like me, or does she not. That is the question.

    And very good one, indeed !
    Can she stay overnight, or always invent the reasons to go home ?
    Can she find time to travel with me ? (I know … study, work, family…
    but people have one week free in year, you know ).
    Does she sound happy to hear me, when I call her, or she always ”busy” to chat ?

    My ex told me, then when woman stops to take care about her looks – the relationship is over ! Does she want look for you like a candy ?

    But not always, when you feel your lady distant and cold towards you mean
    that she don’t like you. Many women have problems with intimacy not because sugar, but generally.

  75. sTacy, says:

    Well Frank – if you’re not falling for her, why should she fall for you? Sounds like you’ve got a convenient, though unreliable, arrangement here – none of Russian’s free drama. Lol

  76. RussianSB says:

    So, I don’t think that we can ”read” signals and make calculations.
    When we meet new partner, we just lucky or not. Simply like that.
    Like marriage, after 20 years you will know if it sucsessful or not,
    but in the beginning … impossible to predict anything.

  77. RussianSB says:

    I make drama, because I am ”mirror reflextion” – if my boy tries his best for me,
    I am not silly idiot not to see that and not appreciate. BUT if he try the borders of my toleranse and loyalty (which is deep as Indian ocean)… I will answer with similar steps.
    But I am lucky enough to meet mature, smart and brilliant boys, who will never behave like that. Respect&respect to them , whenever they are at present moment !

  78. WCSD says:

    @Ellen – “But the sugar made me compromise my standards” is exactly the reason why the ‘sugar’ needs to change if feelings develop. If you are compromising your standards, then you aren’t in it for the guy, you are in it for the sugar.

    @Treasured – 1000 GBP a month to keep you ‘beautiful’. Wow! I’ve always been attracted to the girl next door or the ‘put my hair in a pony tail, let’s go for a hike’ type of woman. They wow me just waking up, and knock me over if they get dolled up for a night on the town. So if a SB was transitioning to a GF she wouldn’t have that problem.

    My opinion on the whole sugar and relationship thing, I agree to a level with Phoneguy. If she was becoming a girlfriend, there wouldn’t be a deposit on the 1st of the month any longer. Now, that wouldn’t be a ‘hardship’ because I don’t think I’d fall for someone who wasn’t able to stand on their own two feet without the sugar. If they are dependant on me, then I can pretty much guarantee that I’m not going to fall for them. Now would my new girlfriend still get spoiled, would I work with her to understand her financial landscape (debts, investments, etc.) and help out my girlfriend? Absolutely. But x dollars for y meets a month is not my girlfriend….

  79. RussianSB says:

    And, ladies, drama costs more ! So, it is not true, that my drama is for free :)

  80. RussianSB says:

    I feel spring in Moscow freezy air …
    I want sing and dance and have an affair !

  81. sTacy, says:

    Agreed WCSD – but I think x dollars for x meets is so close to escorting I don’t see how that would ever develop into feelings between two people anyway. It’s more something that could evolve from I spoil you and you spoil me, and we get together as often as possible.

  82. Frank says:

    Stacy. I’m not falling for her. Bit I am getting quite fond of her. So I want to know if she feels the same or are our meetings more like a second job.

    Russia. Spring is in the air here and I am feeling quite frisky as well

  83. EllenSugarB says:

    @Ellen – “But the sugar made me compromise my standards” is exactly the reason why the ‘sugar’ needs to change if feelings develop. If you are compromising your standards, then you aren’t in it for the guy, you are in it for the sugar.

    I wan’t in it JUST for the sugar. At the beginning of the sugar-relationship we were both just looking for someone to have a good time and share some fun experiences with. Naturally, through shared experiences people will tend to grow fond of one another. After about 6 months of sugar dating, we both had developed more serious feelings for one another, rather unexpectedly. He told me he loved me. I was shocked to hear it, and it took a while for me to say it back. We both agreed that it would be good to take the sugar out of the equation. We began ‘normal dating’, he still paid for all of our dates and spoiled me quite a bit.

    Now let’s remember that there is a difference between NSA dating with the intent to just have a good time, and dating with the intent to have a serious relationship. Both he and I were very clear that we weren’t looking for something serious initially. Both he and I were surprised when feelings started to develop. But hey, it happens! And when it happened, we dealt with it. We reevaluated the relationship, we communicated our expectations for a ‘real’ relationship. And we gave it our best. We gave it our best shot, and the relationship lasted over a year. All of the annoying habits (flakiness, constant schedule changes, emotional ineptitude, social awkwardness, immaturity, fatness and laziness, general lack of relationship and communication skills) were improved upon…all except for one, the fatness and laziness. That never changed. When I say “fat” I mean obese. Obese at 32 years old, cholesterol sky high, at risk for diabetes, all with a history of heart attack in the family – and doing absolutely nothing to prevent it or improve his health. Regardless of how much I tried to help him exercise and eat healthy, my efforts proved futile because he didn’t continue the healthy behavior when I wasn’t looking over his shoulder. This was a deal breaker for me. I have a very healthy lifestyle and having a partner who is the same in that respect is very important to me. If he would have done something to improve his health, the relationship would have lasted.

    So, WCSD, was I in it just for the sugar? The answer is: Not really. I was in it to go on fun dates, do fun things, and enjoy our time together. And so we did.

    Phoneguy, Would I do anything different now? Why yes, yes I would. I would have ended the relationship sooner. Probably after about three months. Three months is long enough to clean up your act (and your diet) and get healthy.

  84. EllenSugarB says:

    Stacy – “Agreed WCSD – but I think x dollars for x meets is so close to escorting I don’t see how that would ever develop into feelings between two people anyway. It’s more something that could evolve from I spoil you and you spoil me, and we get together as often as possible.”

    Do you know any escorts? If you ever happen to meet one you might want to ask them if they have ever fallen in love with a “client.” You might be surprised by the answer.

  85. EllenSugarB says:

    A past boyfriend of mine had a roommate who was an escort. Prior to meeting her I had all sorts of judgements and misconceptions about women in that business. After getting to know her and some of her escort friends a little better, I came to learn that a surprising majority of these women ended up marrying a past client. Imagine my surprise!

  86. WCSD says:

    @Ellen – Thanks for your story of your sugar turned relationship. I completely agree that an NSA relationship vs. a committed bf/gf relationship is very different, and I believe that they can evolve from one another. Interesting that the only thing you would do differently is end it earlier. Which then states that you believe how you approached the transition was the way to do it (but it just didn’t work out as a real relationship). From your story it sounds like you had a pretty open and upfront discussion when starting the transition. Awesome!

  87. EllenSugarB says:

    Frank, you should talk to her about how you feel. Just be honest and say, “You know, I think I am starting to develop feelings for you.” Then be honest about her behavior and say, “Can I tell you something? I feel like you’re not making our time together a priority.” And give her examples as to why. Then observe and evaluate the following behavior.

    It’s quite simple: Know your boundaries. Communicate. Observe behavior. Evaluate. Decide.

  88. EllenSugarB says:

    Thanks, WCSD. I could go so far as to say, “What I would do differently is not date someone overweight.” The thing is, I’ve dated (sugar and non-sugar) other men who were overweight in the past and they adopted my healthy lifestyle and got into great shape, losing over 50lbs! So I guess I believe that people can always improve – it just depends on that person and whether or not they WANT to improve.

    But now that you mention it … I think I would do something differently. Right now I am looking for something real and something serious, and I would like to date someone who I can go on a hike with. It doesn’t need to be a marathon runner, just someone healthy. I’m still sugar dating because I’m open to meeting that special someone through all different kinds of mediums – as unusual as they may be :)

    Oh, Phoneguy … my use of quotations doesn’t mean that I am quoting a specific person, it’s more like using air quotes when IRL talking. Such as when one is referring to a common phrase, so to speak. You know, a common phrase such as “prove you love me without sugar”….OH if I had a nickel… ;)

  89. RussianSB says:

    ”cholesterol sky high, at risk for diabetes, all with a history of heart attack in the family ”
    She really care about him, guys ! Example.

  90. Frank says:

    Heck with getting him healthy, get a life insurance policy on him quick!

  91. Phoneguy says:

    my use of quotations doesn’t mean that I am quoting a specific person, it’s more like using air quotes when IRL talking
    Yeah…don’t do that. ;-)

  92. Lo says:

    can i ask the sugardaddies here a couple questions? Do you all expect super freaks in the sack? Like pornstars basically? I’m getting potential SD’s who are asking me if I do SUPER freaky things in bed. Some of these guys are just grossing me out with all their explicit questions and because it’s happening so frequently I’m wondering if it’s just the nature of these sites. I have a quality profile up, it doesn’t say anything like I like getting naughty or I like having casual fun and yet I’m attracting these types of guys. Are there any SD’s that enjoy a little female company along with sex? Or is it all about how freaky a girl can get in the sack? ugh. so grossed out.

  93. sTacy, says:

    Lo – they ALL think they want freaky. Doesn’t mean you have to do it. They’re usually pretty satisfied with average – even after they text about kink.

    Don’t know what all this ass play obsession is lately. Porn is ruining reality.

  94. Lo says:

    Stacy that’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s the porn being all about rimming and anal and even double anal and just pushing boundaries.

  95. sTacy, says:

    Lo – why would your race have anything to do with your allowance?! Asshole!!! Ewwww!

  96. Lo says:

    LOL im middle eastern if anyone was curious

  97. sTacy, says:

    Requests for DP = a phoney texting from mommy’s basement 99.98% of the time and gets someone on my do not reply list immediately.

    I’m sorry, but if you can keep your dick stiff while rubbing it against another dick, you’re gay, and just using me as a receptacle. Why would I want to do that?

    Barf!!!

  98. sTacy, says:

    And the dick pics! I’m sorry gentlemen, no matter how amazing you think your erection is, I have no desire to see it before I get naked with you. None … whatsoever … !!

  99. Lexxy says:

    @Frank I wasn’t sure if I was gonna weight in on this or not, but here is my two cents. I think most of us SB mostly enjoy spending some time with our SD, there is a need to actually enjoy them since we spend time with them (or this is my case), she is simply using you for an atm. Period. There seems to be no attraction physically or mentally. She seems more like a high paid hooker or a spoiled brat (And not a nice one). She spends little time with you, and when she does, she expects money. I’m sorry, but that just seems stupid. I would go find a SB who enjoys time with you, and doesn’t hit you up for cash constantly. That is just my opinion. We all know we all love the financial aspect of this, but if one simply wanted money, we could be high paid escorts. I think this is one of the attractions of Sugar dating, that we get to meet smart, intelligent men and get to spend time with them outside of the bedroom and learn something from them. (Again in my case, I like having a mentor too.

    On the bright side, my SD now, isn’t into freaky stuff. I like the freakystuff but rather reserve that side for my bf.

  100. Lo says:

    you’re lucky lexxy, I would love to have a more conservative SD. I can get freaky too but with a guy I have real feelings for and who I’m intensely attracted to. As long as I have eyes I can’t really go all out with these guys in the bedroom. I may need to edit my profile or something because a mentor SD who likes the company of an SB is probably what I’m aiming for, but my guys just want a weekly freak.

  101. Frank says:

    Super freaks in the sack-I don’t demand it, but I would expect a SB to have a higher than average sex drive. After all sex is the bedrock of a sugar relationship that rocks the bed.

    I am sadly coming to the conclusion that she is just not that in to me, the newness of the relationship is fading, (its been 7 months) and maybe its time to find a new SB. Have been looking for a back up, but not found any one suitable yet.

  102. Lo says:

    yeah my concern is not so much the sex drive it’s the crazy super kinky stuff they are into. Like this is the second time I’ve been asked if I like girls but there’s other stuff they ask about too.

  103. Lo says:

    Good to hear you’re a submissive girl, so after we met and if we
    click, I’d like you to address me as “daddy” during the course of
    our arrangement…are you ok with that? And my favorite position
    is the one that makes you moan and scream the loudest!:) What’s
    your favorite…doggie? Because it goes in deeper?:) Do you have
    good stamina? Do you get tired easily from long love-making
    sessions…or you’re a good little girl that tries to keep up and
    satisfy your man in any way you can?

    Waiting for your nudes tomorrow, and can you shave first so I can
    see your soft lips? Can we meet for coffee first this week?

    he just sent me this email. I’m seriously not sure if this is normal. And btw this message is from another site like this one so I’m not really outing anyones message from this site.

  104. Lo says:

    he said he’s had a two year arrangement before…

  105. Tina says:

    @Lo: for a genuine, gentlemanly SD no, this is NOT normal. For a freakazoid? Yes, that e-mail is normal. ’nuff said. ;)

  106. sTacy, says:

    That is pretty standard for the kind of emails I got. So Tina and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I wouldn’t even consider that one kinky, lol.

  107. Lo says:

    Stacy have you ever entered an arrangement with one of these freak-a-leeks who would send this kind of email?

  108. sTacy, says:

    In reality, these guys aren’t this weird – they just talk a big game. But, the majority of the time, this kind of perve never really wants to meet up.

  109. Lo says:

    LMAO there needs to be a new blog entry titled “To Freak or Not to Freak–That is the Question” a very relevant topic for this site

  110. sTacy, says:

    How about, “Trying not to vomit when your 60 year old lover wants to put his scraggly, dangly balls in your face” lol!!

  111. Lo says:

    omg hahahahah which reminds me.. I’m not super attracted to my current SD and when I go down on him sometimes I gag a little and not because I’m deep throating hahahah

  112. sTacy, says:

    Lol – funny thing is, I think a little gagging turns them on. As long as you occasionally smile and look them in the eye.

  113. Lo says:

    I try to make convincing “mmm” sounds to compensate for the gagging lol

  114. sTacy, says:

    Oh yeah, aka the “I actually enjoy this … ‘Cause I can’t stand to be jack hammered for another ten minutes and/or I wanna watch Kardasians.”

  115. EllenSugarB says:

    Ladies, in my experience any guy who speaks explicitly about sex prior to meeting you in person has proven to be a waste of time.

  116. EllenSugarB says:

    “As long as I have eyes I can’t really go all out with these guys in the bedroom. ”

    Blindfold anyone?

  117. EllenSugarB says:

    Lo … middle eastern? I’m not sure if you reside in the US, or elsewhere – but I would think that a middle eastern SB is more of a rarity. And, dare I say, exotic? I think you should demand a higher allowance simply because you are a rarity. Then multiply by a factor of 2.5, raised to the power of (1+n) for every escalating degree of freaky douche-baggery. For instance, for a Freaky SD who rates 4 on the douchebag scale, the equation is as follows:

    Allowance from a Level 4 Freaky Douche = Normal Allowance x 97.56525

  118. Phoneguy says:

    Oh Lo, don’t tease me. I was born and raised in the city with the largest percentage of middle eastern people in the US but never dated a middle eastern girl. If only I didn’t have a GF. ;-)

  119. Lo says:

    lol you guys ! Attn genuine non freak-a-leeks please inquire within. Ellen sounds like a formula for success :D

  120. EllenSugarB says:

    The joke would have been funny if I actually knew how to type out a proper equation. Oh well lol

    Everyone knows my written skills are not my strong point. However, my oral skills are exceptional. :)

  121. Bella says:

    ^ I see what you did there… ;)

  122. Treasured says:

    @WCSD. Beauty maintenance- well, I’m a kind of girl, who CAN roll out of bed looking great, have hair in a bun and look like a model first thing in the morning. Because ALL the work comes before! Biggest expense – my hair. Monthly cut and highlights at a good hairdressers cost A LOT. Then there is gym – 50GBP per month, personal trainer – 30x2x4. Then yoga – 100, nails/mani/pedi, 80 x 2. Facial one-twice per month, maintaining my tan. Also, I’m not going to use make up/ face cream, from which my face will get covered in spots. Do ANY of you, guys, even know, that a GOOD cream costs anywhere from 100 to 500 per pot? And you need an eye, day and night. Plus serum ( no one at 27 looks like 20 just by a fluke). Also waxing…. You do the maths.
    And I don’t think that any of this is out of order.
    But most SDs AND men in general don’t get it. At 18-20 you can look great and do almost nothing (providing you have good genes). Once you get past 25 – you have to put some work in.

    Weird sexual requests. Well… In Sugar world it is normal. Just remember the MAIN rule – no requests is satisfied before the allowance! AND I NEVER send naked pictures over the net to SD. Especially before he has even seen me!
    Talking about weirdness… My SD has the best one – he is obsessed about a certain part of me. Just can’t get enough. Suits me just fine :D

    Frank- your SD uses you as an ATM, and doesn’t even do THAT with style.

  123. Treasured says:

    sTacy, says:
    March 12, 2013 at 7:56 pm
    How about, “Trying not to vomit when your 60 year old lover wants to put his scraggly, dangly balls in your face” lol!!

    LOL!

    That’s why my age limit is 50. 55 if one is exceptional.

  124. Frank says:

    Girls, girls, girls!! I’m glad we are switching to another topic. I think that when a SD wants to know if you love him, its because he fears that you are saying things like the above to all your friends.

  125. gtt_envy says:

    @Frank, you are definitely being played!! For me, I only see my SB a weekend a month usually a Friday night into Saturday lunch or Friday and Saturday leaving Sunday. Since I plan this out at least two weeks ahead 1 cancellation unless of the most dire circumstance would end it for me. That means I don’t see her for two months!!

    I know what you are saying once you build that foundation it sort of sucks having to go look for another SB I hate looking I truly do. I’m one SB guy I really don’t get how guys can just juggle the way the do. I would be exhausted.

    Best of luck!!

  126. Daniel says:

    I vascillate on whether or not there is genuine love between me and my SB. We have exchanged “I love you’s” on occasion, neither of us have ever canceled a date, she has never declined a chance to travel with me on business trips no matter how mundane, and she is quite affectionate towards me in public (holds my hand, sits next to me in restaurants and other public places, and even gropes my ass when we’re out and about. Maybe I’m naive but I tend to think there’s something there except for the fact that she rarely communicates with me when we’re apart. Texts are few and far between and phone calls more rare. I’m split right down the middle on this. We’ve been together about 6 months and it has been good so far.

  127. geegaly says:

    Bangin Blog, pun intended,fun indeed. Just stopped by to have a look-C-! You all
    have opened my eyes to a world I didn’t have an clear understanding of! Certainly is good fantasy foder, where perhaps for once ,if one has reasonable expectation,reality may finally trump fantasy.

  128. Curious SB2B says:

    I am curious as to how an SB and SD might come to their arrangements, and what kind of arrangements – especially how an allowance might be allocated!

    How do you go from wanting fine clothes, spa treatments and luxury recreation to actually meeting a gentleman willing to provide these things for you in exchange for your company?! I know I have a lot to offer as a companion but ‘pricing’ myself seems strange and I feel weird asking for things!!

    Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences, it really helps :-)

    I once had a SD I met in real life (after seeing him speak) who paid for me to fly to another city to have lunch after our initial meeting (and we hit it off, talking for ages) Paid lunches when he was in town turned into a few paid vacations overseas…I never asked for anything, it was always offered. He never gave me cash or took me shopping, just took me places he wanted company. Sadly after going on a 2 week cruise together I got cabin fever and our friendship suffered as a result (I did not have my own room and needed more space)

  129. Lo says:

    curious don’t feel weird about pricing yourself. That’s how you get over the weirdness.

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