2 years ago
Fifty Shades of Sugar: Does Your Sugar Daddy Tie You Up?
  • Posted Jul 11, 2012
  • Views 6444
  • Written by JennSA


“Let me ask you something first. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky fu*kery at all?”
― E.L. James, Fifty Shades Darker

So, there’s this book out–you may have heard of it. It’s essentially about a Sugar Daddy and a Sugar Baby who fall in love. Oh, and there is a ton of “kinky fuckery” along the way. If you have read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, you must have guessed this post was coming. After all, Christian Grey is the most wanted man in America. He’s a successful, wealthy, attractive man who is looking for a special arrangement. He is just looking for a beautiful girl to spoil and pamper, preferably one who can keep up with his lifestyle. And he has the means and know how to make sure it’s worthwhile for everyone involved. Sound familiar?

Though E. L. James never actually calls him a Sugar Daddy in the book, that’s exactly what it sounds like to me. Every Sugar Daddy has his own terms to negotiate, though Christian’s are much more sexual, and explicitly outlined in a formal contract that spans several pages. To say he is emotionally scarred is an understatement–he definitely has a few mommy issues that lend to his sexual tendencies. But his unwavering generosity, assumed good looks and kinky sexual preferences are leaving women across America panting at the turn of every page. He makes a “non-disclosure agreement” sound sexy, and you would be hard-pressed to find any girl who wouldn’t sign his contract.

“My world was ordered, calm, and controlled, then you came into my life with your smart mouth, your innocence, your beauty, and your quiet temerity …and everything before you was just dull, empty, mediocre …it was nothing.”
― E.L. James, Fifty Shades Freed

Thanks to the exploits of Christian Grey, the Sugar Daddy has become the new leading man. It’s the “Fairy Tale” effect all over again. “When will my Prince Charming come and save me from my life of mediocrity?” Eventually, these disgruntled housewives and twenty-somethings will finish the book and chalk it up as another fantasy that will never come true. While those who are wise enough to call it what it really is, will be laughing all the way to the bedroom.

Christian Grey may be a character in a book, but living out that fantasy is a reality far easier to attain than anything Disney could ever whip up (or adapt) — give or take a few whips and chains (if that’s not your thing). So what are your hard limits?

Have any of your arrangements mimicked “Fifty Shades”?
How open are you to these types of relationships?
Does the Dominant-Submissive arrangement appeal to you?

158 Responses to “Fifty Shades of Sugar: Does Your Sugar Daddy Tie You Up?”

  1. Jennifer Gwynn says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. JustBeachy says:

    LOVED all three books. I don’t have a sugar daddy that ties me up, but if I could find one….mmm!!

    It seems like every girl I know has read and loves these books, which brings up two interesting points:

    1) I have a lot more kinky-minded girl friends than I ever would have imagined
    2) AMERICA has a lot more kinky-minded girls than I ever would have imagined

    How many guys are secretly in to this??

  3. TexasSB says:

    How old is Christian grey in the book?

  4. Teeny says:

    I have not read the books yet, nor do I have a SD. That being said.. I am active in the BDSM lifestyle and prefer a SD who is as well, tho its not a requirement. At this point I can not say how I would feel about a scenario like in the book since I havent read it, but if its anything like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, sign me up!

  5. Grasshopper says:

    I know this is totally random…but just had to share that as of right now my profile has been viewed exactly 666 times…
    That rocks in a sick, twisted sort of way \m/

  6. ChocolateIvy says:

    This certainly gives young women across America something to ponder, and it is quite sexy. Maybe because of my personality I’ve, however, found myself on the dominant end of things in what I would call female-led relationships with SDs. I think some very successful men find it fulfilling to relinquish their power to a woman. Still, I wouldn’t mind exploring life on the other end.

  7. Surferjack says:

    If you like the power play and obedience aspect I highly recommend a film called ‘secretary’. It’s a very powerful and occasionally moving film about just what we are prepared to do for love and how really true happiness can be found in the strangest places and in arrangements that ‘normal people’ would probably dismiss as wrong.

    I think if we all stop feeling guilty about what it is we actually want and are open and honest we’d all be a lot happier.

    So, where’s my SD?! I’m still waiting to be whisked away from a dull routine :)

  8. Lindy says:

    I had this type of relationship before and honestly wouldnt do it again (although I did read and love the books!!). When your with someone who dominates and controls you in the bedroom and has financial control- its hard (well for me) to not having a controling relationship out of it. Its a mind game thing- one I unfortunatly am not good at playing :/. Although the sex is incredible and it still turns me on to think about that stuff, my experience was a lot different than Annastasias and I personally would not do it again. The men who are truely dominant- before the books came out, have very controlling and intimidating personalities and its hard not to get suckered into an unhealthy relationsip… careful!

  9. HoneyBee says:

    I love the idea to an extent…by all means take control and have your way, but don’t be over bearing… I like a guy who can get a little demanding and rough during a subtle moment…makes the waterfall over flow ;-)…of course my profile doesn’t express so because what daddi and I do in the privacy or public for bliss….is our own little secret! 8)

  10. subdaddave says:

    I’m pretty similar to the men whom ChocolateIvy describes. I am drawn to dominant SB’s and was once in an arrangement with a SB who tied me up.

  11. SDinLA says:

    @Grassy Where ya been kiddo? Check it out, after months and months of refusing to work, my gravatar decided to start working all on its own!

    Don’t know anything about these books and TBH they sound kind of like they’re aimed squarely at the female demographic anyway, ergo probably not too realistic, I’m imagining one step up from romance novels, or Danielle Steele with BDSM rather than modern day Nabokov.

  12. TotalSugar says:

    This is the Harry Potter of people who dream of having sex but don’t have a partner to do it.

  13. VegasBaby says:

    Can someone Please check out my profile!? I am still considered new to the site. I try and update my profile often but I am at a stand still. Helpful feed back please and no negative.

  14. TotalSugar says:

    The book is unrealistic, since Grey is 26 years old and a billionaire. It would be more believable and less laughable if Christian Grey actually had a job and was in his 40′s. The sex scenes are for bored housewives. Anyone who has had real sex knows this book is total BS.

  15. gerard4211 says:

    I had a SB that wanted to explore a bit of the rough stuff. At first it was a bit awkward but as we got comfortable with it we enjoyed it a lot. We both discovered that some controlled pain stimulates adrenaline and heightens the senses., and intensifies the whole experience.
    I would be happy to share the graphic details in a private email to anyone interested.

  16. Treasured says:

    Ok, my views on the subject:

    1) Book itself: I would call it a “housewife porn”. Badly written, the whole plot consists of fuc*king and fuc*king again. In every way imaginable (with some bits of “suspension” thrown into, just to get it off the porn section). Novelty wore off after the first half of the first book.
    Obviously, very little resembling the reality of BDSM, but perfectly well describes the sexual fantasy of an average woman (to meet a powerful man, handsome, unavailable, who falls madly in love with her, provides for her, loves fashion and gives her an orgasm every single time, starting with a first ;) )

    2) BDSM for me. Personally for me, I love to spice things up and take them further. And I am the one who prefers to be tied up and not to tie up ;)
    So, I am VERY open and even prefer this type of an arrangement.

  17. Jinx says:

    I’ve not read the books but I’ve not been interested either. Most women I am friends with say they wasted their time reading them. Although, a married male friend of mine says ever since his wife has been reading the books he has gotten more sex in that time period than in the last year. Hah! It is a fantastical book for “normal” wives to spice up their sex life, given they have little imagination
    I’ve had an active life in bdsm/sm as a dominatrix and switch; it is really all in preference. I wouldn’t mind having a SD tie me up as long as he knew what he was doing and took great care. Given it’s a turn on to have a man that is both powerful and passionate, that of which you can see in his eyes and feel with each touch.

  18. Grasshopper says:

    @SDinLA – I’ve been here!…Well..not “here” here..but here in a “here and there” sort of way; But not “always”…Just “sometimes” ;)
    Yes! It HAS been MONTHS since you first tried displaying a gravatar! Wonder how and why it has decided to show up on it’s own like that! Curse glitches! I’m glad you have one now, though :) I am only using my phone to view blog, so the image is quite small. It’s a cat, correct? Ah..only if ALL men knew to put the pussy in their lives on a pedestal…*sigh*

  19. isabelle says:

    Ive read the reviews and now im intrigued..i think ill purchase the book to see what the fuss is about..

  20. Mad says:

    I actually think that the book is quiet accurate in describing BDSM relationships and it is surprisingly similar to what I already researched on the topic due to a friend who was not only in love with me but decided that the only way to please me is to sell himself to a real (I would like to highlight that) and exploiting sex slavery. My friend John ended up in kneeing next to the toilette for hours each day waiting for his master to urinate into his mouth. I can not begin to describe how worried I was. In the end my friend ended up in a psychiatric institution.

    When Christian Gray breaks down and totally blanks out, that’s the true effect of abusing dominance. It’s not all money and glamour. Not only that, but it is addictive. So is the power over another human being.

  21. Littlemisssunshine says:

    I’m happy for anyone who is getting happiness and/or pleasure from the books, however, I can’t get through even the first one. The writing is horrible! I’ve even ‘fast forwarded’ to the sex scenes thinking I’d want to read more. Unfortunately not.
    I also agree that it is completely unrealistic, even for fiction.
    I have a friend who sped through all 3 in less than a week and raves about it!
    But again, I’m happy for everyone who does love it AND for the author who is now bringing in over $1,000,000 a WEEK!! :)

  22. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    I read the book since everyone were talking about it, and SA site ask !!! us Qs about this book, and a wife of my SD read it and said “I have not learned anything knew from this book”.

    SDinLA you are sharp and smart as always :) “Danielle Steele with BDSM ” I would add with very light SM.

    If everyone would not talk about this book I would not have finished it. So I finished it – cheesy as Mama Mia show. Yes, a few spankings, and some more… nothing too shocking or …

    She is in LOVE with him, he is in LOVE with her, Ana cries and very upset half of the book , her GF angry with Grey coz he makes her upset and crying a lot.
    She did not accept any presents, she was offended with them. She returned a car, computer, did not touch the clothes he bought – she did not ENJOY this perks (she did enjoy first class airplane tickes though).
    What allowance -? she did not take a penny from him..
    Well I read only the first book, first 1000 pages …. may be later ? She agreed to some perks ? After they had sex for 50 times?

    I want to smile and enjoy !!! my relationships i- even if it is only a small gift or something nice is done for me , my positive energy and his nice thoughts Count.

    SD/SB relationship is not about to be in love . ? or they are?

    About a Virgin to be seduced by a rich 6 years older guy?

    And from a girly point of view – oh… she is 22 (i believe) and she is a virgin (never touched her self before , never played with toys or guys – so I would think she is not a sensitive girl, her sexually sleeps till she is 21-22 y old? ) before him, and she has her first orgasm as he touches her breast, and she is having multiple orgasms all the time non stop , even during her defloration ; how real is that?

    If she is SO sensitive and so sexual – how come she was not interested , curious to explore her sexuality before she graduated from college ?

    And about her bj

    I stop here…. yes, Midwest NYG “puts her self out there” as always , coz nyg is a passionate girl :)

  23. JustAThought SD says:

    On a pedestal causes HUGE problems for everyone. I’m looking at Helen of Troy just as one instance. Maybe if guys could elevate it to a coffee table rather than place it out of one’s reach. :)

  24. Jennifer Gwynn says:

    @I LoveWestCoast Girl some sugar does turn into love.. but even in the case of “Fifty Shades” that was never his intention in the beginning. She may not take a specific allowance from him, but she does get a car, a Macbook, a wardrobe, a blackberry and phone plan…only returning these things at the end of their arrangement. etc. Whether you liked the book or not, millions of women in America are putting this man on a pedestal, not realizing that he is essentially a “Sugar Daddy”, albeit a very specific kind.

  25. Jennifer Gwynn says:

    @Total Sugar Well maybe they are all just living sheltered, vanilla lives and don’t know any better :) All fiction is unrealistic is it not? Harry Potter is also unrealistic, technically.

  26. babydoll says:

    yes!!!! hahahaaaa we are in this type of sd – sb relationship, i love all of it and we enjoy each other a lot and i am comfortable to know that we trust each other and confident that we will be able to provide each others fantasies with no worries!!

    we have this book and we both laughed because the write ups in London that i have read were funny as not a lot of people manage it,never mind a very unconventional relationship we have. but yes,these exists because i am one of those who is in it!!!!

    sorry sugars,been too busy to write but will write on my own blog soon and i hopeyou all have a good weekend ahead….xxxx

    busy weekend with sd xxxxx kisses and hugs from London xxx

  27. Nicole says:

    I dont have a Sugar Daddy period, my profile number is 569210

    I feel like Im not good looking.

  28. Brian says:

    I have had 3 sb relationships off this and another site. I am ONLY interested in sb who like being spanked and enjoy BDSM. There are a lot more sb looking for this than there are SD who like it, in my experience.

    It certainly adds to the relationship, at least for me. I don’t like vanilla.

  29. Rachel says:

    I have been interested in exploring a relationship that likens some aspects of what the book portrays – there are two things in which I found some disconnect: Christian Grey’s Age, Anastasia Steele’s naivety. Despite those things, I found the book to be a delicious distraction from the rest of my life. I am not praising the quality of the writing – I am admitting that my own imagination and thoughts were able to use these words…

  30. NYDULCE says:

    I like a little pain with my sex.love mind torturing sex games.I don’t like dominating anymore when I was a young control freak yes.Now Im more open to letting the man take charge.I never knew what I was missing out on! Either way a good f*ck is a good f*ck no matter how you f*ck it.
    And I’ve found love in an arrangement but we were both married. Now were both seperated from our spouses but he moved to Asia for work :(
    Now I’m looking for someone to have fun with and help me escape…

  31. Warner says:

    I agree with Brian. Most of my relationships/arrangements have been with women who enjoyed being dominated, rough sex and/or BDSM. While I have been a bit surprised at the number of women who enjoy this, what has amazed me is the number of much younger women who tell me they do not enjoy vanilla relationships and actually push me to be more controlling. The book, although not well written, appears to have made it easier for women to express their interest in this aspect of sexuality.

  32. TotalSugar says:

    ” I want to struggle out of his hold, to maintain some distance, but his arms are wrapped around me. He’s pressing me to his chest. I melt. Oh, this is where I want to be.”

    50 shades darker page. 14

    “Desires explodes like the 4th of july throughout my body and I’m kissing him back, matching his fervor, my hands knotting in his hair, pulling it, hard. He groans, a low sexy sound in the back of his throat that reverberates through me and his hand moves down my body to the top of my tight, his fingers digging into my flesh through the plum dress (….) YOU. Are. Mine.”

    50 shades darker P. 27

    So…. are we supposed to be excited by reading this? I feel like laughing….so horribly written it makes me want to throw up!!

  33. Blondie says:

    I’ve read all the books… LOVE THEM.

    Have yet to run across and similar exp. on here.. but who know… anything is possible.. honestly, I could do with or without the whole “falling in love” part. Just doesn’t fit my plans right now… but I thought the books were very well written… Turned me on like no other book… Especially the first one.

  34. Blondie says:

    However, I do agree with some of the comments of it being unrealistic that she cums while he is playing with her nipples… Come on!! But may I remind everyone, this is fiction, it’s meant to be unrealistic… don’t use your logic; use your other parts and you’ll find it’s actually a very erotic book… Just my thoughts. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I totally honor and respect that…

    To each their own, and to all I hope you find what you’re looking for…

  35. Grey_Steele says:

    I would like to respectfully argue that Anastasia and Christian’s relationship is not one of a sugar daddy/sugar baby. First, she rejects almost all of the gifts given, he is not that much older than her, and they come to have their relationship because of a paranormal strange attraction to each other. Which brings me to the point that this is an eroticized Twilight, (you can look it up, it started out as twilight fanfiction of edward and bella just having a BDSM relationship). Edward and Bella are certainly not in a sugar relationship. Also Twilight is, a modernized Wuthering Heights with a happy ending that Meyer created instead of Bronte’s rather depressing one. But going back to the root story Cathy and Heathcliff had a deadly unhealthy relationship, which Ana and Christian do also, and 50 Shades trilogy is almost as dark and gothic as Wuthering Heights. But in Wuthering Heights, obviously there is no such arrangement even possible as a sugar baby/sugar daddy one. In her sister’s Shirley, which is presumably based on E Bronte, it defines the titular character as independent and it can be seen that as the Brontes wrote about what they knew, that Cathy’s independence comes from Emily. It is also henceforth through a series of literature lineage that Ana is an independent spirit who would be in control or despise someone controlling her, yet kind and open to the idea of a relationship. This is why, in my opinion, that Anastasia and Christian do not have a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship and is sort of insulting to great literature such as the Brontes to imply that they do, for I’m sure they must be rolling in their graves. Also these books like Twilight must insult them even more as the writing style is awful. While James writes with no more talent than Meyer (which is why many are not surprised it was practically self published), arguably James collectively made a more societal impact (or will) with the trilogy and a movie deal on the way and it being opened to more critique from a variety of communities. And as neither Wuthering Heights nor the 50 Shades trilogy were meant to be a fairytale, it isn’t hard to see why a sugar relationship does not exist in either, as a sugar relationship is much more idealized and less in the spotlight.

  36. DominantLA says:

    The book is very unrealistic, but dominant sugar relationships not only exist, but are common — and the dominant can either be the man or woman.

    Unfortunately this is one of the very sucky things about SA.com. It is extremely difficult for like -minded people to find each other on a site with so many members, but no text search. The ability to type “dominant” or “submissive” or even “50 shades” into a text search would seem like an obvious positive feature for the site. All these new features like “verified” are basically useless. Give us a text search so we can find each other without clicking through thousands of profiles.

  37. Dan says:

    I’m an executive who is available and successful in Seattle and I was just sent this blog and told that I’m the guy in the book! I don’t know much about it but, I know the guy who built the building in Seattle the book is based on. We were talking at the Met and he was like, “What the fuck is the deal with the book? He said people have been driving buy Escala and wanting a tour. He said he rented out the Penthouse for some filming and such but didn’t know what it was about.” Then a woman I know started telling me I was that guy! I’ve never tied anyone up…well….It wasn’t my plan….but, it was fun. So, we’ll see where this goes in the future and I’ll let you know if it’s true…

  38. Blondie says:

    @DominantLA … It really is a “sugardaddy” site first… there are several other dating sites more fit for the S&M type arragnements. The arragnements here are more financial than S&M.. but can be both of course… who doens’t like a little fun??!!! I kknow I do… but people TOO OFTEN seem to lose site of the fact that this is a “sugar daddy” website and “MBA” are a must… if you are looking for something more like just an S&M relationship, there are some great sites out there where there is not sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship.

    Some people might be more suited on that site. I am just tired of (and not at all directly this towards you at all!) people losing site of what this site is about.

    Have a great night!

  39. VA SB says:

    I’m new to this and still havent had my first SD. I haven’t read these books because they weren’t my type. Is it my misconception that SD’s are supposed to be older? That automatically says they couldnt be in a sugar relationship. Any profile tips or advice on meeting a good man is appreciated.

  40. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    “Whether you liked the book or not, millions of women in America are putting this man on a pedestal” Jennifer.

    C.Grey was physicality abused as a child , at age of 15 th seduced by Dominatrix who was his mother age (who would collar him and made anal sex). since then he bought many “submissive on training ” in Seattle area.
    According by his employee – he is a “hell on the wheels”, at his office everyone is so nervous and scared of him .
    He has mood swings, gets angry suddenly all the time. Every time Ana look at him she is scared and do not know what to expect – he is going to hurt her, beat her or make L… wait C.Grey does not make love “I make fucking only , I do not make love” in his words.
    Ana afraid of physical pain , told him Numerous time “I am afraid u r going to hurt me” .

    Her mother and her GF see she suffers and do not understand what is going on (except that she is in love).

    If millions of American woman wants to put this man on the pedestal … I do not know , they might as well put Humbert Humbert next to him.

    One day we can sit cozy on your sofa and read Nabokov out loud :) and your 19 y old hot coed can serve us tea from a samovar. :) :)

    Все это суета сует, классики уже все давно поняли, сказали и написали.

  41. 2Chic says:

    You know I recently asked about S&M, for I was proposed such an arrangement. I had no clue what it entailed, After making it half way through the book, my questions were answered. I am kinda half and half, I think I would like to experience bits and pieces, but not some of the very painful practices. If the Dom has dark issue from his past, I would not participate at all. As for the characters in the book, I am not turned on by young guys, so the entire time I had imagine Christian as an older guy. It also was refreshing that he was not much older than Ana. But when I see some guys close to 60 trying to entice a college girl into such a situation on the site, it’s pretty twisted, that’s just MHO.

  42. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    yes, yes and yes!

    *with the caveat that trust has been established and everything is done with respect and adoration and all boundaries respected.

    What it basically comes down to is exchange/remitting of power and that can be fun ;-)

  43. DominantLA says:

    @Blondie… I didn’t say anything about the site not being a sugarbaby site. Actually I don’t understand your comment as it doesn’t even address what I said.

    Dominant/submissive is just one type of sugarbaby/daddy type of arrangement, just like two people who like to travel can have an arrangement, or two people who like tennis, or two people interested in motorcycles, or any of a thousand other things.

    What’s tiresome on this site is a minority who thinks there is only one type of arrangement, and that being whatever type they are interested in. Plus, then the site not offering a good way for like-minded individuals meet each other.

    It should be the first priority of this site to make it so two people interested in Dom/sub, or motorcycles, can find each other and then set up an arrangement. The site should not be catering to the minority on this site who just use it for escort encounters. Arrangements involve people with similar interests seeing each other more than once. The site needs a text search, to encourage people who are into the same thing to get together.

  44. Monika says:

    I’ve never been in a relationship like this and don’t think I ever will. It seems to be becoming more popular (or just more talked about?) but it seems a little over the top to me and I don’t think I could ever take anything like this seriously. Reading the book, I was laughing at many scenes and at the dialogue. The book itself was poorly written and unrealistic at points but it’s all fun I suppose. Anyways, I guess I’m just boring! Oh well *shrugs*

  45. NYDULCE says:

    So there’s this guy who keeps emailing under different aliases.I was on another Sugardating site and he emailed me asking if I wanted to have” a submissive boyfriend who would cook, clean and surrender to you….and be your slave”. Nowhere in my profiles do I make myself sound like a mistress( I’m retired now got a normal job).We’ve exchanged numbers 3 times already! Does he not realize its me? Anyway I’m gonna get to the bottom of it. He won’t give me a pic and He’s given me Sooo many names…. He’s either dum not to realize he keeps talking to the same girl( my page has pics!) or is embarrassed cuz he can’t decide to meet me or not so pretends he doesn’t remember emailing and exchanging numbers a hundred times! Its actually cute his story.His Mistress/SB left him to go back home.Now he’s all alone like a puppy without an owner! And he’s looking desperately to find someone who will take him as their B*tch. I’m intrigued to meet this lost puppy mystery man. If your on here please be serious this time!!! There is only Sooo far I can go for a mystery puppy!
    And there was another guy we exchanged text and phone calls for a month only to both say forget it.Our first convo he said he wanted an SB he can discipline. But once again his profile made no indication that this is what he wanted. I was so annoyed each conversation he got more and more detailed I had to think about it each time. Had he been clear about All of it from day 1 in his page and his emails I wouldn’t have wasted my time. I can’t believe the nerve of some of these men looking like they got run over by a truck asking me for Sex! And they are so arrogant about it also. At least if you were sweet I might over look your love handles, receding hairline, age spots… Either way maybe you can try making it a little easier for both of us sweetie.You got money! Buy some hair, sprinkle on a little Rogaine do some situps!Im not expecting a Grey. But at least someone I want to look at! Cmon Hun lets try to make this a little less obvious.I dress cute and Conservative in public and You try to a look a few years Younger.And be nice.Were not computers you can’t just pull out cash or mention money and like magic a wet vagina! I know went off topic there but had to get that off my chest.

  46. anonymous says:

    If SeekingArrangement is honestly going to insist on comparing itself to ’50 Shades of Grey’, I will no longer endorse it or have anything to do with it. I admit that I haven’t finished ’50 Shades of Grey’, but mainly because Anastasia Steele is the most annoying and helpless protagonist I have faced to date. I thought sugar babies were supposed to be gorgeous, intelligent, and ambitious (outside the sugar baby relationship, as well as within)? Steele has no idea what she wants with her life besides Christian Grey and she certainly doesn’t know why she wants what she wants. I thought sugar babies were supposed to be driven and quick witted, yet Steele can hardly keep her thoughts and actions in check. Also, I was unaware that I would ever need to sign a contact in a potential sugar relationship. Trust is a huge return on investment in any relationship, and any truly attractive and intelligent young lady would realize this upon entering a sugar relationship, so why would we ever need to sign a piece of paper outlining the terms of the arrangement? Honestly, that’s not generosity at all. Engaging in a BDSM type relationship in the sugar world is one thing, but marketing the idea that it’s standard for a SA arrangement to include a written contract is absolutely drawing the line for me. It’s too bad; I liked SeekingArrangement.

  47. TexasSB says:

    So i’ve been noticing that I will get messages from potential SDs, and they will say that they’re interested. And then I reply and ask for a photo. Won’t hear from them again.

    What gives?

  48. SDinLA says:

    Heads up to all of you who didn’t think much of the books….

    Andrew Shaffer is writing a parody of this book, to be titled “50 Shames of Earl Grey” to be published at the end of this month.

    Quote from a NY Times article on the parody:

    Unlike Anastasia Steele, the naïve heroine of “Fifty Shades,” his heroine, Anna Steal, is experienced and confident. Her lover, Earl Grey, smells like Coconut Lime Breeze body wash and has sexual proclivities that are shockingly tame. “He’s like, ‘I like to spank girls,’ “ Mr. Shaffer said. “And she’s like: ‘Really? That’s it?’ “

    And on what Shaffer thought of the original:

    Mr. Shaffer was among the early mainstream critics. “Most of the little things that hurt my head about #50shadesofgrey could have been fixed by a good editor,” he wrote on Twitter in March.

    He also calls the premise “an outdated romantic trope.” “The heroine is so clueless — not only is she a virgin, she’s never even masturbated,” he said in a phone interview. “Her validation comes from everything this man teaches her.”

  49. SDinLA says:

    @ILWCG/NYG двадцать два, не девятнадцать. Depends what you’d be wearing…

  50. Brandon Wade says:

    @DominantLA We get it … you want text search! That is something we will implement in 2-3 months after we have upgraded our servers to be able to support this feature.

    I do however disagree with your comment that “background verification” is useless. I can assure you many have found this feature very useful. And verified profiles are prominently displayed right below Diamond Certified members, to all verified profiles are getting at least 5 times more views and responses.

  51. jamescrawford40 says:

    The books are a bit silly but, like the movie Secretary, the reaction to them shows that many women are excited by the general concept of sexual submission. Is that at all surprising? So too are many men, although they are culturally less likely to express it. Ecstasy is a form of surrender, and inhibitions are easier to overcome if one is given permission to do so.

    I don’t mean to sound pompous, but I think that any seriously erotic person understands that the dominant/submissive or power exchange theme is a part of the sexual dynamic, whether it’s acknowledged as such or not. And I think that any objective observer would recognize that there is a strong element of that theme in an SD/SB relationship — I mean, we’re called Daddies, for a start, who are spoiling or pampering our babies. It’s not conventional dating/mating.

    Personally, almost every erotic relationship I’ve had has, at some point, involved an element of this kind of play — I’ve known very few genuinely sensual women who did not, at least in some moods, desire to be dominated in bed. And most women will not respect as a sexual partner a man who is not at least capable of playing that role. Men who are perceived as personally and sexually powerful know this, it’s a fact of life, in my opinion.

  52. Monika says:

    @TexasSB Many reasons. One, it may be a privacy thing. They feel weird giving out a pic of their face to someone they don’t know/trust yet. Some men can’t avoid to be indiscrete. Then – they may be, um, unnatractive? Annoyed you care about looks? A scammer/photo collector. Etc etc. Maybe wait till a few more messages/emails have been exchanged before you ask for photos :)

  53. TotalSugar says:

    As Joplin sang so many decades ago, I plea to my SD:

    “Oh daddy, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ? My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends. Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So daddy, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?” Just throwing it out there.. :)

  54. Teeny says:

    As I said before I have not read the book and I do not have a SD but here are my thoughts on everything so far…
    1. I agree that a text search or a more advance search option (such as willing to travel/open to non locals) would be awesome, but it does take time.

    2. I see a lot of profiles looking for a submissive sb. I have also talked to several guys from here and other sites that are not looking for a sb but for a submissive. I think there needs to be a distinction. Wanting a submissive sugar baby is one thing and appropriate for the site, looking for submissive is fine but go somewhere else for it. Im all for having a dominant SD but if I just want a Dom I would look for him elsewhere.

    Personally for me any SD i may have needs to be lifestyle friendly. He dosnt necessarily need to be active, but at least accepting. I make my living off fetish/kink/bdsm (Im a fetish model, and i have no intention of giving up my livelihood for a man) so either they accept it or they dont.

  55. Drew says:

    I have never been into BDSM but I did have the wildest experience in my life with an SB from SA. She lived in a distant city and we corresponded for a few months before we hatched our plan. I flew to her city, rented a suite and added her name to the reservation. Then I went shopping for a few hours while she checked into the room. I then snuck back into the room and abducted her, tied her up and had my way with her in every conceivable way. This was our first ever meeting. By far the most intensely erotic experience of both our lives.

    To pull this off we first pulled a few sugary friends into the loop so there could be no rape accusation. We also created a safe word – Santa Claus – but it was not required. The men I talked to all thought I was nuts for taking the risk and the women were universally turned on.

    Oh and I was 45 and she was 23.

  56. DominantLA says:

    Hi Brandon,

    Great to hear there will be text search. But to most men and women verified-by-you is not a huge thing. _I’ll_ verify anyone who I am going to be involved with.

    While I don’t mind you doing whatever verifying you do, I’m certainly not going to trust my life to your verification. While it might be a nice improvement, it is a small one compared to making it easier to find someone I am interested in.

    And another way to put it is: I don’t care if people I have no common interests with are verified. :) Once I find someone I have common interests with, THEN I start thinking about verifying/security, etc.

  57. DominantLA says:

    LOL, and now “poof” there is a keyword search link! Cool.

  58. Red Blooded Woman says:

    You men know exactly where to find a mistress! Im coming to the conclusion that this site is not for real SB/ SDs but a place for men to find exactly what they want a discounted rate called the monthly allowance. Stop sugar coating. Sex in exchange for money is prostitution. Regardless if it’s P4P by the hour or by the month. And you know good and well if you went to a dungeon or hired a mistress it would cost you $500+ an hour. It would be the same for a hooker. So you come here and lie and say you want Sugar babie you really want uninformed girl who will be impressed by ridiculous allowance and little perks and will be willing to sleep with you for them. I’m well informed. And once again will not be breaking my back or letting my back be broken for chump change….

  59. Red Blooded Woman says:

    Will not participate in discounted prostitution.

  60. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:


    @ILWCG/NYG двадцать два, не девятнадцать. Depends what you’d be wearing…”

    I will be wearing whatever you (and this 22 y old) want me to be wearing …. coz I am that easy :)

  61. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    To DAN.

    “I’m an executive who is available and successful in Seattle …”

    if you Think you are available and successful and have Connections in ESCALA …
    we should have a private dinner in there (and this penthouse sight seeing). I will bring the book with me :) so we can follow it step by step .

    The helicopter on the Escala’ roof is guarantied with your connections, right, we have to follow the book.

    PS. I promise I will not participated in “discounted prostitution” LOL.

  62. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ Drew – It’s called consensual non-consent. Care to ‘abduct’ me sometime? ;-)

  63. Rachel says:

    @Dan in Seattle. I’m in Seattle, perhaps we should talk ;)

  64. Jack says:

    To Brandon,

    Maybe the “verified” SB’s are getting 5X more hits because they are prominently featured on a key page of the website, not because they are verified?

    To Red Blooded Woman,

    It escapes me why anyone who finds the activities on this site so despicable would even bother to come and post here.

    To borrow a line from Shakespeare: “Methinks she doth protesteth too much?”

    That line is supported by this language from your last post:

    “Will not participate in discounted prostitution.”

    OK, I think now I’ve got it. You only want to participate in “full-price” prostitution!!

    So what do you charge per night or per month?

    And to Blue Eyed,

    Who would have thunk? LOL.


  65. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ Jack – I’m full of surprises :-)

  66. flyr says:

    @ Red Blooded Woman “Im coming to the conclusion that this site is not for real SB/ SDs but a place for men to find exactly what they want a discounted rate called the monthly allowance. Stop sugar coating. Sex in exchange for money is prostitution. Regardless if it’s P4P by the hour or by the month.”

    I have been on and off SA over a number of years and had sweet relationships that sprouted like spring flowers in unexpected places.

    If I were looking to get laid for a minimal cost I would follow the well worn path to the local saloon, take someone to dinner or just sit and talk to someone over coffee for a few hours. If that was not working, an overnight trip to SF or Vegas or even just putting them in the right seat for a sundown flight over the Pacific . All below the CpL for a good sugar baby.

    I have been involved in a number of wonderful sugar relationships over the years. One of the things that distinguishes them is a genuine desire for the relationship to be a mutually positive experience for both.

    I spent probably 50 hours counseling one SB who was being bled out by the banksters in a hopeless situation. The loss of productive time was substantial and it was not fun. But it helped her to accept that bankruptcy was not a mortal sin.

    I have had the extreme pleasure of seeing SB’s receive graduate degrees and on going on to hang out her shingle ( former SB now MD) It was not just financial help but someone covering their back when the going got tough, a friend to talk to someone to call at 3am when they needed a friend.

    It’s far from a one way street. When my mother was dying I came back to the apartment I kept in the LA area. It was far past midnight and as I walked into the dark, cold hollowness a candle was burning. A little voice said ,” I did not want you to be alone, ” It was just one of a number of wonderful things that have happened.

    That’s the difference between commercial sex and a true sb relationship..

    If someone needs a more graphic illustration of the differences, FOX’s Richard Morris was asked about the hookers he entertaining while on the phone with his boss Bill Clinton. A female reporter asked Morris if he really paid hookers $400 per hour to come over and suck his toes etc. No, Morris replied, I pay them $500 to leave when I am done.

    In summary I think you get what you come for. If you are here looking for a John you will find one. If you are looking for an SD in any one of 15 shades you will find one if you are patient and thoughtful.

  67. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:


    seriously ?
    2 hours after my post?

    :) :)

    SDinLA .

    May be I would like to send GURU cigars (he gave me a lot of advices! ) …or … send him my boudoir photographs.? :)) :) (kidding , how to do a green smiley? )

    OMG we do need this option ! :)

    What do I do for Midwest ? she is a great gal.
    Ok, if I get invited to Escala , I will ask to fly Midwest to the Escala’ roof for her fav cocktail. (Midwest , what is you fav one?)

  68. Mistress Montaine says:

    I actually run and own a kinky B&B in Monterey, CA where you can act out your own private fantasies in a safe, discrete environment.
    I have been in the BDSM/Leather/Fetish Lifestyle for over 23 years.
    I have lots of experience and plenty of toys.
    Come play in my dungeon!
    Mistress Montaine

  69. blondeandbeautiful says:

    After having felt with possessive men or no libido marriage.I’m concidered a guys dream I’m not inhanced with plastic surgury like most girls.I feel there must be a mutual attraction.the few guys I have spoken with say either I’m out of there league which isn’t true.I wanna met a attractive man with a heart of gold.who’s willing to travel to see me to.why is this so hard for guys. If they met me they would be anticipating the next time they saw me…where is my prince charming..

  70. Summer (UK) says:

    Hello all,
    Christian Grey is 27 in the book and supposedly a multi millionaire also a helicopter pilot too, has had 15 subs and one Mistress who started him out in BDSM at the tender age of 15. I didn’t think there were that many hours in the day to do all that by the age of 27?
    I have read the first book and it turned me on immensley. I have a partner and we were into BDSM anyway but it has revitalised our Dom sub relationship. In fact I am due to sign my contract with him this evening (and presumably consumate it too Hmmmm). If anyone would like any further views or details contact me.

  71. subbabe says:

    As DominantLA suggested, a seach feature would eliminate a whole lot of guesswork. As it stands, the only shot you have is choosing ‘Search by nickname’ and plugging in your keywords there. What’s the deal SA?

  72. subbabe says:

    I just noticed the keyword search function was implemented yesterday! This will be fun!

  73. Annetthe says:

    I loved all 3 books! The moment I download it to my kindle I simply couldn’t put it down. I have been extremely LUCKY to have met SD’s here for many years which showed me worlds I could only dream of! Then in Jan of this year I met CHRIS, who open a world such as Fifty Shades, and now I’m finding out who I am inside and loving it more than ever. Ok he’s not Christian Grey, but boy does he give me what I want in and out of the bedroom. He makes sure I know I’m only his, yet he gives me the freedom to be me! Merci beaucoup monsieur Wade for introducing me to my very own Christian Grey! Best of all I know he won’t ever propose marriage like the others, so I know I won’t run again!

  74. Terri Fox says:

    I am currently in a relationship similar to that of Anna & Grey, only with a married man & not a great lavish lifestyle. We see each other once every couple of weeks and use our time together to relax, have lots of fun and explore our sexual fantasies… we have delved into BDSM a lot .. down to under the bed wrist & ankle restraints, belts, whips, blindfolds etc., let’s just say I end up with a very red bottom afterwards, he has expectations of how I should look, act etc when around him and if I disobey I will be punished… its kind of like role play, and no before you think he’s controlling, it was my idea…my fantasy, then we also have ‘vanilla’ sex, we cuddle, have a laugh together, breakfast & lunch together and have a good time relaxing away from the stresses of work & real life.
    I think with the books a lot of people are drawn into the love story of the 50 Shades book, me on the other hand would love a Mr Grey red room of pain and all!! Lol

  75. Anna Molly says:

    Couldnt get into the books at all for some reason.

    My first SD was a naughty, kinky boy…mmm, hmmm

  76. sookiexxx says:

    I have always been a natural submissive,,so to find a Daddy that’s into looking after and nurturing me would be heaven, no !!! I’m not a silly young girl either, quite the opposite, I’m mid 30, run my own business, just love the sensual domination of powerful men, Daddy must wear a suit…..xxx

  77. SanDiegosb says:

    I didn’t care for the book. I think it’s given some women an easier way to discuss sexual fantasies they may not think are “normal.”

    I’ve always been submissive in relationships…it’s amazing to be able to give up control to someone you trust and be in the moment without worrying about all the things you are have on your to-do-list. It’s hard to find a Daddy that understands the right balance.

  78. Profile Number 1058365 says:

    “lets chat off the site and definitely get started something asap xxxxxxxxx@xxxxx dot com is the best way to reach me … have a nice day

    I don’t understand why potential sugar daddies don’t want to continue talking to me on this site?
    Somebody please tell me what’s up with that???????

  79. Texas Sugar says:

    I desire to be one man’s dedicated whore and to be at his service in the bedroom. As long as I am treated as a queen outside the bedroom the raw sensual pleasures of the whore role playing are intoxicating and rich.

    Smart and sucessful make tough decisions all day long and we long to be dominated in the bedroom in a caring and safe way by a man that knows what he wants. Men deserve to be sexualized and for their physical desires to be met. I love to please a man and help him live out his fantasies.

  80. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Profile Number 1058365 – I took a look. You come across as a director of operations rather than a companion. Most men like to be, or at least the illusion, they are in control. Your allowance is the highest there is. Not many SDs are willing or able to go that high with a new SB. Perhaps leave it open and negotiate initially. After you become indispensable, you can talk of raising allowance. There is also an air of desperation in your profile as you mention ‘now’ and ‘asap’ a couple of times. I don’t recall anything about a connection between you and your SD, but rather a laundry list of rather exotic places and modes of transport. Those are my comments at first blush. Good luck! I hope you find what you are looking for. I’m sure our wonderful blogging SDs will provide better feedback when they get a chance.

  81. Jack says:

    @Profile Number 1058365 – I also looked at your profileand agree with everything Blue Eyed Beauty said–and then some. This profile is a major turnoff in multiple regards.

    First, I have come to the conclusion that almost anyone who thinks she is worth a quarter of a million dollars a year ($20k/month) usually isn’t, by a mile. What I have noticed is that women who put large amounts as their requirement are self-centered (at least per their profile) and think much more of themselves than their profile would suggest.

    This profile is a good example of that. The focus here is solely–and completely superficially–on money, even telling potential SD’s (who must be blue-eyed and blond!) they must have a Falcon jet in order to entertain you.

    In addition, anyone who can afford a quarter of a million bucks a year (which includes me) does not need an SB to help close his business deals nor does he need someone to select things he would like to buy.

    This is a profile I would not respond to regardless of the allowance requirement stated.


  82. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    Even my fav “The View” talked about “50 shade” book.
    They said some libraries put this book on banned list coz teenagers girls are looking for BFs and going to think this is the healthy normal relationship, and might not know how to use safety words.

    And I thought “The view” very open minded – especially after once Barbara Walters asked Elizabeth if she liked rough sex.

  83. flyr says:

    RE Profile 1058365

    I’m piling on with Blue Eyes because it fun ………………

    copied from the above profile

    ” The type of guys I want to meet… blonde and blue eyes (tall or medium) who probably works in finance, media, scientist from Palo Alto, insurance/reinsurance with global reach, angel investors, venture capitalist or executives of different variants who travels frequently around the world say in a falcon 900EX or first class commercial flights to places like Davos, Singapore, Shanghai, London, Bermuda, Beijing, New York, San Francisco, HongKong, Washington DC, Berlin, Frankfort, Geneve, Zurich, Dubai, Bahrain. I am an excellent and enjoyable companion, sharp, bright, reliable, witty, funny and well adjusted in new territories. I have a good judge of character and an asset to have during business deals if need be. I can also be a great assist in choosing appropriate outfits for different events as we land in foreign countries or within the U.S. I’ve been known to have an exceptional taste whether in fashion, hotels, chalet, beach houses or restaurants. I tend to intuit well on my companions moods and needs. If you may, think of me as your quintessential companion. I wanna meet you as soon as possible. ”

    Four words into this we’re in trouble ……. “the type of guys” how many $20,000/month guys are you looking for?

    Sections of your self description are repeated

    But the real problem is the total apparent lack of tangible benefits for the SD. “It’s all about me” screams from virtually every sentence. You did not need to tell us one of your occupations was actress.

    To digress for a moment, I needed some help with a July 4 party that I have hosted for a number of years. Usually I will find one or two UCSB students to help. However this year a friend suggested that her daughter who had been with friends in Hollywood for 5 months while she took a semester off from studying physics. Out in the country the neighbors are a motley assortment of rocket scientists, ranchers and other folks.

    She was shocked when one of the first guests introduced himself and instead of talking about who or what he was, asked her what her reaction was to the apparent discovery of a new particle . It’s got a lot of the physics folks rocked back on their heels. Later she mentioned that nobody in Hollywood seemed concerned that anything outside of Hollywood that occurs on the planet is of significance.

    Anyway the point is you are trying to sell somebody a vision of what life could be like with you as a companion. There’s not a molecule in this profile hinting at what most men are looking for in an SB. It simply reeks of ME ME ME. Many men would react, if I wanted that I would have stayed married or I would go home to my wife.

    I’m glad she has some primitive knowledge of jets. My guess is that most SB’s would be happier with an industrialist or entrepreneur who also had the skill , knowledge and discipline to fly the airplane when he chose to.

    There are some breathtakingly awesome SB profiles here that leave no doubt the SB has decoded the adult professional male brain, located the receptive sensors and pushed all the buttons. There’s no guarantee of success or failure but you can put the odds in your favor.

    If I had to write the last paragraph of your profile I would have reworded it to be something like

    ” In your heart, sir you know you are worthless scum, you are nothing and need to be seen with a beautiful woman to be seen as important and abused by that woman who has no care for you. I am that woman. “

  84. NC Gent says:

    wow harsh today…. does anyone really take a profile (SB) seriously that has greater than $20k per month as the allowance? For that matter, even the $10k+ SB? To me, there has always been more than enough attractive women in the $1k to $5k range… why pay more?

  85. James Crawford says:

    Responding to the question about why men want to email off the site — it may be simply for convenience. The site is often very slow and takes several windows to get to your mail. And it’s visually obvious — you can’t sit on a plane and look at it discreetly, whereas you can check your email anywhere.

  86. DianaSBinOC says:

    @NC Gent— ^ The same could be said in the reverse: Why accept less. I remember you compared what you do for SBs to what people are paid for in your area I think you said about $18,000 a year and that’s what you offer Sb’s. Still why are you PAYING at all? If women just love to be around you for free why even been here? It’s funny you brought up the word “PAY” instead of “GIVE”. Glad to see where you’re really coming from on what it is you’re doing here.

    Again what you can’t afford someone else can. There have been a few SD’s that have graced the blog with allowances offerings in the $10,000-$20,000 range. If that’s not you then fine but it’s not fair to insult an SB because she’s out of your allowance range.

    I don’t see a SB requesting that allowance as self centered. She is looking for a select few that match not the majority. There are many SD’s that happen to not be visually appealing yet have a laundry list a mile long of what they require. What’s even worse is that they don’t want to provide an allowance at all and have no issues calling an SB a prostitute when she brings it up.

    But go ahead if you want to vilify a SB that wants to connect with only the top SD’s on the site. I just find it funny how none of the SD’s seem to make an issue over a SD offering $300 a month or dinner and a silk chemise.

    @ Profile 1058365

    You are intimidating to most…Plus there’s are an abundance of women that will sleep with the most hideous men here for a few hundred. Because of this sad fact the majority will not measure up but there are men here that want someone that most will not be able to have. I would suggest with you looks and back round to sign up on WhatsYourPrice also. There are SD’s there too. It can’t hurt and if anything it will connect you with men that are not spamming 100 women a day with the same copy and paste message but men that will enjoy giving you something to show they are serious about starting an arrangement. You may get flakes and fakes there too. I’m not saying it’s perfect but men are less likely to send an offer , accept it, communicate and then back out.

    Still here on SA , if you have a premium membership, you’re able to search SD’s by allowance.

  87. DianaSBinOC says:

    Btw just did a search and there are 485 SD’s that have a $10,000-$20,000 allowance offer on their profile.

    My personal favorite is this one: He’s 35 and wow this guy has a great body! Seriously look at those abs!

    Profile ID: 153980

  88. DianaSBinOC says:

    1356 Sugar Daddies offering $5,000-$10,000
    550 Sugar Daddies offering over $20,000

    So yes these men do exist. Don’t let the gents that offer $1,000 deter you from meeting the one that may offer you 10 or 20 times that.

  89. Jack says:


    How you can read my post and reach your conclusions is beyond me.

    Intimidating? Are you serious? Have you read my profile?

    Can’t afford her? Can, but nothing in her post is remotely intereting to me.

    Men spamming 100 women per day? What men–Flyr, NC Gent and I?

    Vilify someone who wants to connect with the “top SD’s”? Only someone who ONLY cares about money would conclude that someone who spends $20,000/month by definition is a “top” SD, a conclusion your own post contradicts where you are basically talking about hideous looking rich guys who need to make up in money what they don’t have in other areas.

    But maybe I should approach this differently by asking YOU a question, Diana: Let’s forget her allowance request for a moment, and put on your SD hat, and tell me what I missed in reading the profile. Tell me, with as much specificity as you can muster, what in Profile 1058365 is suposed to be alluring to me as a potential SD?

    Clearly you are seeing something there that I have missed.


  90. flyr says:

    @DianaSB behind the OC
    “@ Profile 1058365

    You are intimidating to most…”

    Intimidating in the same sense as fingernails on a blackboard.

    My response to Profile 105XXXX is that it lacks any tangible illusion of benefit to the SD, unless his ego is so damaged that he needs arm candy to support his image.

    This is a discretionary expenditure.

    Intimidating – yes there are some profiles that are so special that they are truly intimidating in a very positive way. .They are beautiful, intelligent, interesting and selective. They are the ones to learn from .

  91. Jack says:


    I missed the arm candy component as well. All I saw was a pic that showed neither face nor body. Did you see something else in the arm candy dept?


  92. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    In all fairness, profile 105XXX did ask for advice, and advice she received. She can take it or leave it. She’s the one complaining about NO ONE responding to her. Quite a few of us here suspect why and told her so. Her profile is off putting to say the least. She needs a serious ‘profile intervention’. $20,000 allowances are for le creme du le creme. I’m sorry, but all I saw was skim milk gone sour.

  93. Teeny says:

    Truthfully I dont take any on the SD profiles that offer 20k serious.

  94. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ Jack -Unfortunately I was unable to locate the profile. I think the SB either hid her profile or decided to close her account. I was going off of the comments made about her allowance request. It’s funny because a few months back you said you had no issues doing a $10,000-$20,000 allowance if I’m not mistaken but now :

    “First, I have come to the conclusion that almost anyone who thinks she is worth a quarter of a million dollars a year ($20k/month) usually isn’t, by a mile. What I have noticed is that women who put large amounts as their requirement are self-centered (at least per their profile) and think much more of themselves than their profile would suggest.”

    Now Jack since you,flyr and Ncgent are all looking for the same things and have the same to offer I ask YOU what is a “large” amount and what is a “small” amount?

  95. TotalSugar says:

    I’m curious to see Jack’s reply as well as other SD’s opinion to Diana’s question . I’d love to know too what is large and small regarding allowances.

  96. Profile Number 1058365 says:

    Thank you so much James Crawford
    July 16th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
    For making me understand from a point of view of a busy guy possibly reading my
    message. It’s true even for me I’m uncomfortable and conscious of the person behind me
    at the airport etc public places. Maybe the person behind me is reading my SD/SB screen page.

    Hi flyr
    July 16th, 2012 at 10:30 am
    Thank you for critiquing my profile. I didn’t ask for this but you came off so passionate I can only respond. I must admit I am highly amused. However I make no apologies for my self centeredness because I am self centered. I reckoned just like you – you want to find your match or stay the course of what’s working for you. For example a man say – 36, married/kids, lives in Westchester, works in the city, worth half a million, makes 150K a year. In the past extra-curricular-relationships that worked for him are “students who just needs a little bit of help”, meet in a nondescript hotel room for an afternoon of shagging then go back to work. When that arrangement ends most likely westchester man will look for the same type of girl.

    My profile chillingly ice box as it may were the composite of the type of men that stayed with me. I guess I’m just taking stock of what kind of men I wanna meet – is to ask myself what kind of men have stayed loyal to me? What kind of men did I had the soul connections with? What kind of men did I fell in love with? (Yes L O V E the worst disease there ever was. I’m being facetious.) What kind of men did I introduced to my family?
    Three sugar daddies to be exact had those types of jobs in my profile, two of them have a private jet but I only mentioned one private jet. I’ve been to some those of destinations. I don’t view SD’s in the past or in the future as them and separate from me. This is my life. This is my taste. These are the types of men I see eye to eye with. The day will come maybe in the not so distant future I know I’ll be married/baby daddy to one of the types of guys in my profile. Ok they are dull, pale and lacks imagination but then again so am I.

  97. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Profile Number 1058365 – I’m confused. Since you have it all figured out, why did you ask for advice. Or were you just seeking a way of promoting yourself and garnering some attention of which you said you lacked in the first place.

  98. TexasSB says:




    You need to put your profile number hun.

  99. Jack says:

    Diana, very good questions, so here go the answers:

    1) Conflict between my posts a couple of months ago, and now–VERY good pickup on your part, Diana. Explanation? I did a trial 1-month arrangement in the 5 figures, paid up front. She was hot, fun, but no substance, totally self-centered, didn’t once offer to do anything special for me (help with the dishes after I cooked her an awesome meal, offer a massage, etc), and got mad when I ended the arrangement early because I met another lady, and got even madder when I refused to lend her money after I had ended the arrangement. Left a bad taste in my mouth, and just reminded me of my marriage where the more I did, the less appreciated I was.

    After that experience, I have been giving the topic much thought and have been reading the $10K+ profiles very carefully–and have interacted with a couple ladies in that range–and I have come to the conclusion you quoted above.

    2) Is the conflict total such that my opinion has totally changed? Strangely enough, despite the above experience, no. I could conceive of a woman to whom my excessive generosity would not serve as heroin, leading to greater and greater demands in order to get the same kick and failing to show her appreciation. Thus, consistent with my initial post, should I meet such a woman, $20K per month wouldn’t bother me in the least ONCE I GOT TO KNOW HER, but I doubt whether even 1 out of 10 pot SB’s who are demanding $10K+ on SA would qualify in that regard.

    3) So how do I reconcile my shifting views? The way I feel now, it is extremely unlikely I would agree to an arrangement up front that would exceed $5000/month, but for the RIGHT person, I could see it growing to much much more than that.

    So, to answer your final question, Diana, a large amount in my view would be in excess of $5000 to $6000/month, although honestly, given the quality that I seek, I doubt it would be much less than that range with anyone I do an arrangment with.

    I will close by changing the topic somewhat and say, though, that for the RIGHT person who can make use of it, the value of what I can offer in NON-financial areas will far exceed $5K/month. For example, I had a pot SB come visit me for a few days last week. She has a startup, and is interested in setting up manufacturing in the Houston area. So I rescheduled a meeting I had with the president and two directors of a bank that is seeking my business so that my friend could attend the meeting. What is a bank connection at the president level worth to someone who wants to set up a business in Houston?

    And several ladies I have met on SA have requested my mentoring thoughts on various issues pertaining to SA and beyond. Based on what they have said to me (and there is no hidden agenda on anyone’s part in those relationships), they have found that mentorship invaluable. So, for some SB’s, money may not be the most important goal.


  100. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – Care to see if I qualify for $20K / month, after you get to know me? I’m dying to know. No hard feelings if I don’t pass. PS: I love drying dishes and am great with my hands ;-)

  101. totalsugar says:

    Here is an example of a profile where this very successful guy is willing to give a top allowance of only 3K a month.

    …. So, a 5 or 10K allowance really does NOT exist. Based on what Jack just described… what we say in a profile doesn’t really matter but is how we behave in person. And let’s be honest NO person in the world is worth 10K a month. Unless you are a victoria secret model with hillary clinton’s brains.

  102. Jack says:

    Blue Eyed B,

    Trust me that I would love to meet up for dinner with you if you were in Houston and see how we like each other to begin with, but with you up in rural Canada, it’s so much harder to connect.

    But I never say never.

    And let me say that, based on your profile and your posts, if I were gonna spend $20K/month, I’d be MUCH more likely to do it with you than with profile 105XXXX. But contrary to my natural tendencies, I would work up to it.


  103. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – I’m just a teeny tiny plane ride away. Could be in Houston tomorrow ;-) And I wouldn’t say I’m in ‘rural’ Canada, unless you think all of Canada is rural lol. I’m only an hour away from your lovely country by car. Perhaps you’d like to come and see this part of the world sometime. It’s beautiful and wild (just like me).

    You may go at your own pace Jack. I’m a patient woman. We Canadians are like that.

    Que sera sera.

  104. Jack says:


    Am heading to Disneyland with my girls tomorrow (in fact, Flyr and I are gonna meet up and compare notes! LOL), then on to visit my parents in La Jolla, then in Houston a few days, then to the east Coast to visit my bro, then an RV trip, all with the girls.

    Soooo, won’t be around much the next 5 weeks, but I might just come see ya in Canada later this year. Love the country and the people and I used to do a lot of wilderness (map & compass-type) hiking/camping (Yosemite, Appalachian Trail, Sierras, etc) so the wilderness is right up my alley.

    Like you said, Que sera, sera!


  105. SD Guru says:

    Very interesting convo in the blog today…


    Looks like you came to the same conclusion that “the amount of allowance may not be directly related to the quality of the experience” which I discussed in my blog. Glad to see that things haven’t changed since I wrote it two years ago. By the way, I’d suggest that you don’t put such a big bullseye with dollar signs on your back… :mrgreen:

    “My personal favorite is this one: He’s 35 and wow this guy has a great body! Seriously look at those abs!”

    He sure looks good on paper if everything in his profile is as he represented. So why don’t you contact him and see what happens. Oh wait, he’s not a premium memeber and therefore can’t read your email! :(

    “1356 Sugar Daddies offering $5,000-$10,000; 550 Sugar Daddies offering over $20,000″

    See the same article I referred to Jack above. Anyone can put whatever they want in their profile. Neither Diamond Club nor Background Check verifies what a SD would actually offer.

    “There have been a few SD’s that have graced the blog with allowances offerings in the $10,000-$20,000 range.”

    Can you tell me who they were? I’d love to have them come back to the blog and contribute to the discussion!

  106. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – I think you and flyer should both come and see me. The fall is a beautiful time of year in my neck of the woods. Can we communicate off the blog sometime?

  107. Profile Number 1058365 says:

    The confusion or rather misunderstanding came from this comment I first made.
    “Profile Number 1058365
    July 15th, 2012 at 7:14 pm
    “lets chat off the site and definitely get started something asap xxxxxxxxx@xxxxx dot com is the best way to reach me … have a nice day

    I don’t understand why potential sugar daddies don’t want to continue talking to me on this site?
    Somebody please tell me what’s up with that???????”

    “I’m confused. Since you have it all figured out, why did you ask for advice. ”
    You (Blue Eyed Beauty
    July 16th, 2012 at 6:47 pm)
    are confused because my question was why some guy asked me to chat off the site and e-mail him. i was wondering why not continue to email here on SA.
    James – the only person who understood my question. James said “James Crawford
    July 16th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
    Responding to the question about why men want to email off the site — it may be simply for convenience. The site is often very slow and takes several windows to get to your mail. And it’s visually obvious — you can’t sit on a plane and look at it discreetly, whereas you can check your email anywhere.”
    Then flyr
    July 16th, 2012 at 10:30 am
    Totally unrelated to my first question misunderstood what James Crawford completely understood…. went on a tirade about my profile – an amusing tirade. Hence my comment back to flyr.
    I hope Blue Eyed Beauty this series of events were somewhat clear to you now.

  108. Profile Number 1058365 says:

    Thanks DianaSBinOC
    July 16th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
    you get me, you also get the idea behind the seeking arrangement.
    Thank you for the kind words.
    It simply is that any arrangement is acceptable as long as 2 people are on the same page.
    Kind-a-like this book title Fifty Shades of Grey.
    Reading all these comments.
    There should be books
    Fifty Shades of Arrangements.
    Fifty Shades of Misunderstandings.

  109. Profile Number 1058365 says:

    Ok lovely people.
    I noticed that quite a number of men here on SA have a preconceived notion that giving/ allocating/ paying/parting a sugar baby with their hard earned cash is viewed as prostitution (may or may not say it but its there). Something utterly wrong….. If on a soul level a sugar daddy feels that way then why be on this site at all. There is truth in that, whatever you call it, is just semantics.

    I guess the gist of it all is how to find the right sugar baby if your heart is not open (i.e. personal conflicts)? Naturally the experiences I’ve been reading is a series of beautiful disasters & ugly disasters whether its 5K or 20K a month allowance.

  110. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Profile Number 1058365 – Ahhhhhh, I get it now. My sincere apologies for the confusion. Funny, cause it’s always the SD that wants to chat off SA with me. Depending on how long we’ve been chatting, I may or may not be comfortable with that (even though my email does not identify me). I usually take care of all the housekeeping issues as they say here on SA. What’s the point of going off SA if we are not on the same page. I don’t bring up going off of SA to communicate.

  111. flyr says:


    Having SA up on the computer during business hours or with other people in the office is not a good idea, especially if you own the company. . At some point you’ll shift to another program and of course when you close that your SB thanking you in intimate detail for bringing the riding crop will be up on the screen

    Can’t send pics without adding them to your profile

    Difficult to access from iphone while driving

    No way to sort mail


    Although I do not do it, is very easy to establish separate email account

    Sugar v P4P
    As the great justice noted , I can’t precisely define it but I know it when I see it.

    Some thoughts
    The SB is looking at the pot, searching for affirmative reasons to pursue relationship. The P is only looking for the reasons not to go .

    The P is looking at her watch or iphone to see if it’s time to fake an orgasm so she will not miss her favorite TV show or next appointment. The SB is wondering what for breakfast

  112. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ flyr – re: riding crop and what’s for breakfast – have you hacked into MY communications ??? lol

    SA desperately needs an iphone app pronto. Git ‘er done Brandon. :-)

  113. NC Gent says:

    Diana – you seem obsessed with me an my allowance level. Thanks for reading so much into the “why pay more” it was actually a tongue-in-cheek reference to the Walmart ad slogan…. you know… bargain shopping for SBs??!!!

    I don’t think I vilified the SB in question. Actually I commented that some of the previous comments appeared harsh, and that I really didn’t take her seriously, hardly a vilification.

    Regarding your question… why am I paying for it at all? Actually, I have a gf and I am not paying for it at all (other than typical bf-gf type stuff). I come here because I like SOME of the people and I have sugar-dated in the past, and I still enjoy the blog.

    It would be great if you weren’t obsessed with my postings and my allowance levels. Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

  114. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Jack that’s nice you and flyr are meeting and sharing notes. I hope you two have a great time.I did a check on allowances SD under $1,000 and saw there are over 8300 profiles. Most read like a to do list or have a pay for sex ring to it. How lovely to see prostitution works so well here. You may meet a $5,000 monthly allowance request and surprise her with more. Also on your assistance of SB in their relationships with their current SD’s is nice and even though you’re not providing direct financial assistance to these ladies, you are still helping with finances in some way, it just happens to not be deducted from your check book.
    Bottom line is that you do what you do, I was just wondering what changed so strongly for you to make such a statement.

    @NCGent.. You give yourself far too much credit. Remember I read the blogs and since we don’t have pictures I can only go off the memory of what someone writes to get a better understanding of how they see or may view sugar babies in the bowl. I even recall that gorgeous UK sugar baby that graced the blog and how you openly admitted to not doing more for her and wanting to reconnect. I’m pretty sure other sugar daddies would have loved to connect with her because she seemed like such a sweet lady, one that apparently you took for granted. I recall it was something like ” I want to send you a gift with no strings attached” or something to that affect. Quite nice indeed:) I wasn’t sure if you actually felt bad about not doing more or you were just rushing to get to her before some other SD did. Even a few of the other SD’s started going on about how great they are to their SB’s . It was a nice change on the blog so I was quite tickled watching the change;)

    I also remember you being quite upset when the allowance minimums of $4,000-$5,000 went up and gave a serious complaint to Brandon Wade something on the “as a paying member”speech level. It was quite hilarious actually to see how bothered you were. As if what you offer will be looked down on.

    If you notice above I remembered Jack’s entry into the blog and how he’s discussed his dealing here too so when I saw a change of heart it was very well noticed.

    Even SDinLA’s dog and horse have graced the blog. Again I have a pretty good memory because a picture isn’t something really most can go off of here.

    For someone who claims to have a girlfriend why do you even have time to blog at all? I’m sorry you feel I’m obsessed with your postings but maybe because I’m young my memory does work properly. Since you claim to enjoy the blog why would I not be allowed to do the same. Remember anything you post on a blog is pretty much here forever and I haven’t really posted on the blog for quite some time. Still if you have so much to do with your time then you can leave as well. Don’t be upset that you posted something and someone actually remembered what you said. If you’d like…. I’ll be more than happy to dig it up and quote it to jog your memory.

    “Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?”<—- You really can say that while looking in the mirror. Your tongue and cheek references of "why pay more" are not to be taken lightly. Maybe for someone new that hasn't read your posts in the past but my memory serves to show you really do feel that way.

    Ohh and @Jack -You may offer $5,000-$6,000 range but NC Gent feels that offering more than slightly above minimum wage is sufficient so in his area that's roughly $1200-$1500 a month. He's made it pretty clear based on his own offerings that anyone requesting a $3,000+ allowance is asking for too much or in a SD's case doing to much. And lets not forget he sees it as PAYING rather than GIVING. So it's clear all don't think a like and all will GIVE or in his case PAY what they desire.

    Still me bringing up allowance was no different than me bringing up someone attacking "in shape". I was shocked to read that a SB was being called "picky" because she didn't wanted an SD that wasn't spilling over his trousers in the mid section. Or someone attacked age too. Saying well under 45 isn't realistic for someone 21. I was thinking again that it's nice to see the SD's here help SB's with their profiles but not when it's directed towards something that is a desire. Allowance, body type , age. Then turn around and say the SB in question is being picky, conceited because they don't match up to those numbers. Constructive criticism is great but not when self interest is mixed in it.

  115. NC Gent says:

    Diana wrote to me – “I also remember you being quite upset when the allowance minimums of $4,000-$5,000 went up and gave a serious complaint to Brandon Wade something on the “as a paying member”speech level. It was quite hilarious actually to see how bothered you were.”

    I am going to give you an opportunity to prove that your memory is indeed accurate and better than mine. Please point us all to that alleged post of mine, because I am 100% certain it doesn’t exist.
    Regarding the recent offer I made to SweetEuro, it was indeed a no strings attached gesture and I have followed through with it off-blog. Several years ago SweetEuro and I traveled a week together in Europe. I had given her my credit card to shop during the day while I was at business meetings. When I returned back to the States, I discovered that she had only spent a few hundred dollars the entire week. We had a great time together (she will concur with that I believe), but I felt that I never did enough for her. I made up for it even though she didn’t feel it was necessary.

    I really don’t have anything to prove to you, and I wish you the best.

  116. DianaSBinOC says:

    NC I’m not here for you to prove anything to me. Really I was commenting on your comment that is all. This is a forum and when you write people will comment. If you don’t like that you can stick to reading. But you have a girlfriend now that you don’t have to “PAY” for. I’m glad you’ve found happiness with that special one:)

  117. Anna Molly says:

    Hi NC!! Long time no see!! :)
    Next time you’re in town we should get together and catch up! :)

  118. SouthernGent2 says:

    Diana – I have not read this blog in a month or two. Why I chose today I have no idea.

    It was me that complained about posting the average allowances. I’m not going to get into it with anyone about this. I am simply going to take the accusation off of NC Gent’s back. It was most certainly not him.

  119. LASB says:

    NC Gent – Wow, rough day at the office? ;) Crazy how whatever you say gets spun in such a negative way, when you’re one of the most sincere people on the planet. You’re a lovely person with a beautiful soul, and I feel fortunate to know you. Ditto to what Anna Molly said. Hugs!

    Hi AM! :) Nice to see you around! I hope you’re doing well.

  120. WCSD says:

    OK…is this where the SD’s all stick up for each other??

    @Diana – What I took from NC Gent’s ‘why pay more’ analogy, or others when mentioning the risks of what occurs when limiting to certain ages or body types is specifically this: There are more SBs than SDs. If a SB is questioning why they can’t find a SD as quickly as they expect, they may need to also look at what they are looking for? Are they limiting their options? Are these options really truly a ‘hard stop’ for them? Do they understand what happens when they limit those? Sugar is a tough world, and SD’s have the options, so in general (NOTE, I said in general not in all cases), SBs need to stand out to get noticed. Yes there is lots of screening that needs to be done (on both sides), but there is a limited supply of good SDs, and to most SDs, a fairly unlimited supply of SBs to screen.

    NC Gents’ point (or more importantly my point) is that for all those newbies that come to the blog to get help, and all they are hearing is ‘don’t take anything less than $10K per month, and he’d better have movie star looks, etc.’ isn’t helpful either. All people (SDs and SBs alike) need to set their limits on what they want and need out of a sugar relationship, and UNDERSTAND how those choices impact their ability to find a sugar relationship.

  121. Midwest SB says:

    Heyyyyy sugars!

    I’ve been absent for a while and see there is some dissent here over allowances. Diana seems to be stirring the pot and you gents continue to fall into it.

    Here are some first-hand experiences regarding allowances over $10K.
    1- They do exist…albeit rare. I’ve seen two genuine arrangements like this. One married his SB and the other is “becoming an honest man” with his.
    2- SDs and SBs who are in these arrangements don’t brag about it. It just is.
    3- The allowance is not actually $10K plus. Instead it’s something along the lines of all living expenses covered, car, tuition, business start-up expenses, shopping, etc. and some cash for her to spend as she needs. He is generous without her keeping track of what he has spent for the month. In cities such as NYC and LA, it can easily exceed $10K in the lifestyle of the wealthy.
    4- The anonymity of the internet allows many to claim and no way to verify the truth. Typically, those who brag the most have the least to show for it.
    5- Although it’s attainable, it comes with strings…usually lots of them. It also tends to border on the bf/gf track.
    6- There is nothing wrong with accepting less if it meets your needs.
    7- There is nothing wrong with offering less if it meets your needs.
    8- Putting a high allowance is certainly a screening tool…it can also attract the worst of the worst.
    9- Just because he can doesn’t mean he should. I’m sure he has many hobbies, charities, and business ventures where his hard-earned money is well spent.
    10- and MOST IMPORTANTLY – Just because he is offering a generous lifestyle in the sugar world doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of attracting his ideal woman IRL.

    Personal note- If you’re in such a bind that you require $10-$20K to maintain your lavish lifestyle and you’re in debt well over your means, you’d better have a good reason. Why would any man invest in a sinking ship?

    PLAY NICE and quit feeding the argument.

  122. James Crawford says:

    Diana, thanks for your insight and intelligence and fresh perspective and vitality. There are a handful of people on this blog who’ve been here for a long time (as in years), know each other (often personally, after meeting here) and have established credibility as good people. You might even call them tone-setters for the site. NC Gent is one, Southern Gent too, LASB, Anna Molly, just to pick the names I see from today. I haven’t been here in a while and used to post under a different name, AM may have even referred to me recently. :) But I remember them well. They may not always agree but they accept each other’s views as based in good faith. They may not be “in the market” but they enjoy the community, like I do, which is why I popped in. No point in asking why they’re here, they like it and they’re friends and they will welcome you too if you take it down a peg. This blog has survived because it is a bit more tolerant than most, if you give it a chance.

  123. James Crawford says:

    Add MidwestSB to the list. Something in the air is rallying the clan today.

  124. Midwest SB says:

    Hi James! I’m honored :-)

  125. Anna Molly says:

    Oh my goodness! Hi James! xxoo :)

  126. Anna Molly says:

    Hi LASB! Good to see ya! :)

  127. NC Gent says:

    Wow!!!! Good to see some old friends. Thanks so much to everyone for your support – it is very much appreciated :)

  128. flyr says:

    NC Gent – Back on the horse

  129. Anna Molly says:

    NC, do you still have a GF or not? Im curious, I haven’t talked to you in a while so Im interested! :D

  130. Anna Molly says:

    NC ~ If you do have a GF, good for you!! I’m happy for you!! You deseve it!! :D

    You’re a good guy with good intentions, and it’s good to see you with a girl who has good intentions…. :)

    Email me if you need to converse. :)
    You should know my email!! “D

  131. LASB says:

    Thanks James! :) You’re right. There must have been something in the air. It’s good to see some old friends indeed. Hello everyone!

  132. James Crawford says:

    Hi to all, glad I popped in. Had to change blog name as not in NY anymore. Anna Molly you ray of sunshine hope all is great with you!

  133. Anna Molly says:

    James C – I’m well! How are you, Sweetness? It’s been a while!

  134. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    NC gent.

    I thought you are married ? No?

    You have a GF. May be I am confusing you with someone.
    I remember the post a SD wrote “if I do not do sugar dating, if I date and divorse – it is going to hurt not only me but my employees’ families …if my wife is going to have 50 % of my company …”
    I thought it was your post, but I do not remember for sure.

  135. Katie says:

    I’ve always had a bit of kink in me. Though I haven’t read the books, it sounds like something I’d be into. Though if you *really* want to have some fun, try reading Kushiel’s Dart. It’s…indescribably wondrous. Though the wind-up is a bit drawn out, once the action starts, I dare you to put it down.

  136. Katie says:

    Oh. Sorry guys. Just posted a response without actually reading any of the previous comments and accidentally interrupted the conversation. Carry on. My bad.

  137. Anna Molly says:

    Katie ~ You didn’t interrupt anything at all! It’s nice to have a change of pace! Negativity breeds negativity so in my opinion, you did us a fovor. :)
    I hate confrontation, I really do. :)

  138. Rachel says:

    I forget how interesting this place can be at times.

  139. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    THANK you !:)

    awesome ! review and it is funny .

  140. Bunny says:

    hmmm…I haven’t read the book but from what I heard it doesn’t seem like something that would interest me..I might have given it a chance if it was about men being submissive, Im all down for that lol..but the idea of being tied up myself…not pleasant :P glad all of you are enjoying it though…

    to each their own I guess…

  141. Ashley says:

    It would be nice to find a SD right about now. Ive been searching for awhile now and it just seems like theres no one onine… weird I know. hmm SD message me if your looking to :)

  142. Midwest SB says:

    Just a little note for our new posters. We don’t have many rules here, but the general goal of the blog is to help mentor those new to sugar. This can range from profile advice to setting up your first arrangement. In order to maintain blog integrity, posts that read like a classifieds ad will be removed. Also realize that posts with hyperlinks and e-mail addresses are automatically filtered by the program and pend approval.

    If you wish to be in touch with someone specific on the blog, please post a comment to the “blog gods” (we don’t take ourselves quite THAT seriously) and if it is mutual, we will do an e-mail exchange offline. If you wish to market yourself to the many SDs, please use your search preferences from your profile and contact the man of your dreams! Happy hunting!

  143. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Dear Midwest SB.

    Have you read the book? I know you are very busy – business and school and a child….here is a quote by Mr.Grey for millions American women.

    “I’m a sadist, Ana. I like to whip little brown-haired girls like you because you all look like the crack whore – my birth mother.”

  144. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    and if some women must dream to be whipped naked…
    at least dream it to be done by someone as talented as D.H.
    Here is the link – I hope it will work.


  145. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ilwcg – what colour hair do you have?

  146. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    BEB I hope you approve :) ?
    BEB – I posted link to the YouTube video – it is still pending (our Goddess has to watch it first – I do not mind :)

  147. travelersb says:

    I always felt like a very submissive person in life and in bed. But there is so much more that I want to know about someone before to get to that point that I always kept that side of me very quiet and hidden.

    In the lasts few months, I have experienced a very bdsm relationship with a man. It is someone with whom I would not have expect that at all and it wasn’t the goal of our relationship when we first met. Now that I know that this is the way I want to live my sexuality and that I feel that I am comfortable in that kind of relationship, I’m thinking that I should look for it when I look for sugar daddy. The problem is that I am affraid that if I say that openly, I will attrack the wrong men who only want rough sex and if I don’t talk about my sexual preferences, it’s risky that it ends up by being really boring in bed. We would both loose our time in that case. I once dated someone who wasn’t dominant and it was exasparating in the bedroom and in life.

  148. travelersb says:

    please excuse my mistakes when I post. English is my second language. I have to improve it :)

  149. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @travelersb – I wouldn’t put it in your profile but when you communicate via email etc. you can offer a double entendre where he can bite the bait or just see it as innocuous. Be coy about it. If he’s into the scene, he’ll pick up on your vibe.

  150. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ilwcg – I’m still not certain what the point of your post is.

  151. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:


    I am not certain myself what the point of my postS are. :)

    But my link is working now. :)

  152. VASD says:

    I was only vaguely aware of the Fifty Shades phenomenon until it was brought to my attention by a potential SB. Light BDSM never really occured to me except in an abstract notion, but it’s something she apparently really wants to do with me. We won’t get a chance to try things out til September, but I think it’s pretty hot.

  153. travelersb says:

    only one month to wait VASD! that’s not so bad. and it will worth it ;) nothing better than that feeling of being owned by someone for the girl and the feeling of totaly possessing a woman for the man :) Me, I LOVVEEE it . I wish you a good experience.

  154. allsmiles says:

    I seriously cannot see myself as a submissive, which is ironic cause I do so very much look and act the part. I’m quite defiant so I don’t take kindly to be ordered or slapped around.
    On the other hand, I used to be quite rough on my ex sometimes and I rather enjoyed it as he allowed me to experiment on him, so maybe if I were to be the dominant… just maybe.

  155. livid says:

    I just love 50 shades of grey, I really wish I could have a relationship like christian and Anastasia. I am not active on the BDSM world, for a matter of fact i never tried, mostly because i dont have no one to try with, but it’s such a turn on

  156. Great SD Catch says:

    @Jack – I looked at her profile and when I read about the fact that she claims to be an expert in fashion, and then looked at her pic, I spit water all over my keyboard….really? She is dressed like a colorblind hillbilly ready for a rodeo..lol