Tina, et. al, regarding issues with the fake SDs – it’s late but I thought I would post this anyway.
Before I write further, please understand that these are things that are generally true, but we all know there are exceptions. Here is my little tick-list of things that tell you to “RUN THE OTHER WAY” – particularly when talking to a potential SD:
* From the first email, they seem too good to be true. They promise you everything – rent, car payment, a car, tuition, etc. Most SDs are that because they have succeeded in business and no matter how much $$ they have, most got it by making good business decisions, so the genuine SDs will take it slower and want to get to know you better.
* Closely akin to the point above, a genuine SD will be concerned about you and your feelings and your comfort level.
* Immediately start asking about sex, what you like, etc. Most likely, they are being controlled by the wrong head. Wait a few hours or a day or two – they will completely change their discussion topic or disappear altogether.
* If they use guise of “I want us to be open” and then want to talk about sex and other intimate topics from the beginning.
* If they pressure you to come to them for the initial meeting – especially immediately after you first make contact. It is usually best if the SD meets the SB in her town, simply for safety’s sake. An SD will understand this. He should be a gentleman at ALL times. There may be times when it makes more sense for the SB to go to him for the first meeting – it can happen. But he will be a gentleman about the arrangements (you will have ticket in-hand, hotel arranged, etc.). Generally though, he should go to her. Be PATIENT – there will be time for traveling to each other later on.
* If the SD pressures you to meet him the first night after you first make contact with each other. He needs to go to another site because he’s not looking for a SB.
* He will insist that you and he “go to your place” after your first meeting. A SD and a gentleman will not push the intimacy. It must be mutual and everyone needs to be comfortable with it. Make the decision with what you’re comfortable with before meeting and stick with it.
* You decide to meet and he cancels at the last minute more than once – be careful! I know things come up, but it’s a pretty good sign he’s getting cold feet and he’s not genuine if he cancels at the last minute twice in a row.
* This is more about his profile than about how he behaves. Is he “too hot?” Is he manicured to the nines and stiffly posing in typical model poses? Does he have pancake makeup on (as indicated by excessively even coloration of the skin)? Is the guy absolutely catalog-perfect, every single hair in place, clothing immaculate, positioning camera-ready? If so, he may be a fake.
* Genuine SDs won’t be in a rush – they will want to get to know you. There is a line here that has to be drawn because many SBs will have in their profile that they are no into endless emails – in other words, the SD will want to email, chat, and text but never want to move it forward. There is a balance – but primarily the difference will be that the SD will not push you to move it forward more quickly than you want.
* Be wary of SDs that talk about the financial arrangement in terms of xx$ per meeting or visit. Finances need to be discussed at a mutual comfort level, but a SD that talks about the financial arrangement in terms of $$ per visit – watch out! He’s either terribly naïve, ignorant or a player. He needs to go to another site.
* Genuine SDs will read your profile. If your profile states that you are not into sex chat and the first thing he writes is all about sex, you know he hasn’t read your profile. Ladies, you know us guys are 90% visual, but that doesn’t excuse not reading the profile. We are big boys and a genuine SD will be more interested in getting to know you than getting “it” as soon as possible!
* Genuine SDs will demonstrate chivalry – you should be able to tell if he is chivalrous. It may take him a while to figure out how to express the chivalry in ways that you appreciate, but you should see the effort being made in him.
Ok, it’s late but I am sure there are other “fake SD identifiers” that others can add – especially the SBs.