6 years ago
Largest Gay Sugar Daddy Dating Site


Seeking Arrangement welcomes gay Sugar Daddies, Sugar Mommas, and Sugar Babies

250,000 LGBT Members Strong

Gay arrangements are a rising trend among the gay online dating community. SeekingArrangement.com prides itself on being one the largest LGBT arrangement website with 250,000 gay members! We are proud to announce the unveiling of our new Gay landing page, honoring the largest online community of gay Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mommas and Sugar Baby daters.

Unlike normal gay dating sites that feel more like meat markets than places to find “true love”, SeekingArrangement has a professional, warm, sincere feel to it. Here older and wealthy gay Daddies or Mommas are looking for more than intimacy. They are actually interested in helping grow young men and women into successful adults.

Gay Sugar Daddies don’t necessarily fit your average gay stereotype, as many married heterosexual men are experimenting here for their first time as well. Here on SeekingArrangement, about half of the gay Sugar Daddies are bisexual or closeted men in heterosexual relationships.

Most gay Sugar Babies are of the Twinkish variety (between 18-25), and are struggling to pay for rent, college, or just have a desire to explore the world without having to worry about expenses.

“I know that my looks are going to fade over time… Eventually, I’ll loose my hair like my maternal grandfather did, for example. I think it’s smart to aim for the top and not apologize for it.” - Anonymous gay Sugar Baby

Finding a Sugar Momma

Sugar Mommas do exist, yet they are greatly outnumbered by their wealthy male counterparts. Heterosexual males and lesbian Sugar Babies do their best to woo these powerhouse women.

Rich gay men: This is a general term for gay men who make approximately $150,000+ a year, or pride a net worth of at least $100,000.

Rich closeted gay men: Often looking for both male and female Sugar Babies, rich closeted homosexual men and bisexual/curious men prefer discreet arrangements with gay partners.

Rich gay studs: They are hot enough to date any twink or stud they want, yet they are also rich enough to get not only the hottest guys, but also the most ambitious twinks to accompany them in their stylish gay bachelor life.

Rich gay singles: This type of gay Sugar Daddy is looking to find a true life partner — eventually. The rich gay single understands that although life’s ultimate goal may be to find your soul mate, there’s plenty of time to explore the world and all it has to offer in the meantime. Rich gay single men are often looking for short to medium length arrangements that can possibly lead to something more.

Young gay twinks: They’re your gorgeous bubbly musical theater buffs or fashion majors, and they might even be seen on a skateboard or two. They are out, proud and ambitious, and in today’s economy, finding a positive gay role model who can also provide financial and career assistance is a very tasty option.

Young gay men:This is a general term for any “out” young gay male. This includes gay teens (18 & 19), young gay adult males, and any other out gay male between 18 and 35.

Gay Sugar Babies: These are the boys you see on the arm of their gay Daddy at Castro, or maybe West Hollywood. Wherever they are, gay Sugar Babes are generally go-getting, upwardly mobile sweethearts.

Finding your gay Sugar Daddy OR Sugar Momma has never been easier.

Comments On

72 Responses to “Largest Gay Sugar Daddy Dating Site”

  1. dreamer says:

    wow. Im glad that sa is revolutionizing this :) makes me proud! So what about sm’s? We need to find something to bring them out of their shells!!

  2. ChicBaby says:

    This is so great! I’ve always wondered how popular the male SB’s were. Hopefully we can get to hear from some new people!!

  3. BlondeinNYC says:

    Spread the love!

  4. yael says:

    well, the SM’s are sooooo shy and there are so few of them… most of then seem so sweet if only they would log on more… most of them rarely log on to the site… some of them there last login if listed was months ago so I stopped really checking for them….. but I can see how…. women I think are just a bit more distracted then men and probably put their dating lives on hold for their careers… most of them, if they are true to their profiles are very rich but probably very busy they are also a bit younger than the SD’s on average so I can only imagine that they are busy. then in if they have kids they more than likely have them with them all the time so it’s hard to make arrangements…. and maybe I’m generalizing but it’s just a theory… or maybe they blissfully found their SBs and are off somewhere in the caribbean soaking up sun with their babies…… I hope more will come… and I like the rest of you am excited to share some stories and experiences with some of the male SBs… I wonder do they have some of the same experiences we have LOL…

  5. yael says:

    on a seperate note… I may have great news… I sent some pics to one of the largest management agencies on the east coast for volumptuous models.(Think along the lines of King Mag, XXL, Eye candy and Smooth) and I may be a part of their agency!! I’m not getting my hopes up but I actually got a call from the CEO himself after he read my email and saw some of my pics.. Haven’t signed anything or made any promises… just talking possibilities and they sound pretty good. so looks like if I get a big deal and make good money I may be posting MYSELf as a SM… LOL… I’ll see how it goes…

  6. BlondeinNYC says:

    Yael- congrats! I am so wishing you all the best :)

    Stephan- I’m confused about the category you listed: Rich Closeted Gay Men:Do you mean that they’re on GAYSA looking for women to be their beards/dates or what?

    Obviously I’m having a blonde moment

  7. stephan says:

    BlondieinNYC: You got it! They’re looking for beards, as well as trysts with same-sex dates. The key is that their not ‘out’ to one or more of the following: family, friends, or peers/co-workers, so they have to keep a sexuality cover (e.i., marriage cover).

    There are many ways to interpret what ‘closeted’ means these days, but for rich closeted gay men, arrangements can be a way to enhance their hetero-image by arranging a ‘beard’ arrangement with a girl, or to have a more traditionally mutually beneficial arrangement with a boy.

  8. BlondeinNYC says:

    Stephan- okay so then where would you find them?? Do you put up a flag? Wave wildly in a crowd?? Check in closets with a flashlight??? I mean, what do you do???

  9. stephan says:

    Where? ***Here!*** If they’re looking for a girl (beard), you’ll be able to see them when you Log-In and do any Sugar Daddy Search :D But ya know, now that you mention it, there really isn’t a way for a gay Sugar Daddy to search for a Female Cover Arrangement… I don’t think that’s been publicized well… hmmm, I’ll forward a suggestion to add a check-box or some option of letting SD’s and SB’s know that a ‘beard’-type arrangement is being sought. Meanwhile, if you wanted to be creative, and capatalize on the lack of competition, especially in New York, you could sign up as a Sugar Baby Male and advertise your “female accompaniment” service for example “guaranteed to maintain your hetero cover!”, or something more discreet perhaps… anywho, might be fun to try and see the response! Plus, you wouldn’t have to worry about not being attracted to your SD! ;)

  10. BlondeinNYC says:

    Stephan- the problem is that when you click on here- it just brings you to sa, not gay sa!

  11. stephan says:

    hmmm…. the “***Here***” link above goes to our gay landing page… – still the same SA site, but just a special landing page for people searching for Gay and Lesbian Sugar daddies and sugar babies. If you were meaning that one of the links goes to the str8 landing page instead of the gay one, tell me where it is and I’ll change it to link to the gay landing page :)

  12. BlondeinNYC says:

    It goes to the the SA landing page, the only difference is the photos. If you register with it, it brings you back to the hetero site. Does that make sense?

  13. stephan says:

    BlondeiNYC: Yes, it will still take you to the main SA pages when you register… the gay page is not a new site, but it does give gay sugar daddies, sugar mamas and sugar babies looking for sugar on the web a clear signal that they are welcome on SA! When you register, whichever settings you choose (i.e., SD seeking SBF (sugar baby female) or SBF seeking SM (sugar mama), or SBM (sugar baby male) seeking SD & SM) determine who you can see, and who can see you. If you were to sign-up as a SBM seeking SD, you would be able to arrange with gay SD’s *we allow women or men to register as different genders for this reason*.

  14. BlondeinNYC says:

    So I need to sign up as a SBM? Instead of a SBF?

  15. stephan says:

    For the purpose of being able to arrange something with a gay sugar daddy- yes, tho your profile can express anything you chose it to, as long as it’s truthful :)

  16. BlondeinNYC says:

    Thing is once you’ve created your account, you can’t change it to anything else…

  17. BlondeinNYC says:

    Stephan- I looked at my profile in edit mode, and there isn’t anything there. Can you change it? It’s Profile Number 252868 thanks!

  18. stephan says:

    BlondeinNYC: There’ya go :)

  19. BlondeinNYC says:

    Stephan: You are amazing! MWAH!

  20. BlondeinNYC says:

    Stephan re-logged in and it still says female…..hmmm

  21. BlondeinNYC says:

    in fact it was changed BACK to female!

  22. stephan says:

    i don’t know why that is… I’m changing it to SBM, and it should stay that way, unless there’s something I’m not aware of. I’ll try changing it again, and if it doesn’t work this time, you might have to register a separate account type as SBM, which would probably be easier to manage anyway, still wondering why it changes back automatically for you tho *curious face*

  23. BlondeinNYC says:

    it hates me…sigh

  24. BlondeinNYC says:

    it’s back to sbf

  25. dreamer says:

    how interesting! I would love to find a man like that! Thats sorta what i have been looking for, but i havent been able to find a sd like that. And yael, ill be your sb! Good luck!

  26. BlondeinNYC says:

    I really think it would be a fun experience :) So I did it and we’ll see if I get any emails.

  27. blazn says:

    hi everyone! I was wondering if any sugar babies try to get free tickets to the party?? I sent the email requesting for one…how long do I have to wait …anyone?

  28. ChicBaby says:

    I sent an email requesting one as well, and haven’t heard back. Guess I’m just not hott enough, lol!

  29. martin says:

    7GV9xp hi! its a nice site!

  30. Dating Agencies For Married says:

    Hi! Nice. Waiting for more:))

  31. зaйкa says:

    Читал про это в Википедии. Вообще конечно прикольная тема.

  32. CTИЛЯГA says:

    Так интересно, но так банально… :)

  33. Mike says:


    as a newbie to all this, I thought I would get some advice and get this gay SD blog moving again. there are lots of us here, yet most of the blogging is hetero. No offense to them, but would like to here from my side of the fence.

    as a SD my question is to potential SB’s. How would you want to meet a potential SD who lives far from you? Would you want him to visit you first or, what would encourage you to hop on a plane to fly to his city (assuming the SD pays your airfare)? Comments and thoughts are welcome.

  34. Andrew says:

    Finally a site for gays

  35. EDOL says:



  36. PatientlyWaiting says:

    Just curious. Does anyone know why there is a gay blog page without any articles/entries? Will this ever be updated? I am willing to bet there is a very large pent-up demand in the LGBT community for articles to comment on…

  37. young - looking for the 1 says:

    Mike: Good question … Im a new gay SB … I would probably prefer to have you come to my city just because I would feel more safe, but I also would not mind taking a bus or plane to an SD’s city … I would not really want to stay with you at an SD’s place, maybe after meeting and hanging out things would change but meeting for the first time I would want to security of having a place to stay at night if we just dont click.

    I have a question for you though and other SD’s … Do you get many responses? What do you look for in an email from an SB? or from an SB in general?

  38. Mike says:

    Hi young – looking for the 1,

    I get almost no responses as I am ‘lurking’ in a hidden mode. There are many reasons, partly as I am insanely busy with several jobs at once altho I think I can solve that by the end of summer! I do try to review the SA site regularly tho, with a major goal of watching. It has been revealing. Some SB’s have very divergent goals.

    In my case I will be looking for honesty in a SB as it is probably difficult to make any arrangement based on dishonesty – remember I am a newbie too. I am an introvert, so if a SB is seeking a heavy social life, I think I would be rather a ball and chain from his perspective, so I would probably want someone compatible in that sense. I think it will at times be similar to online dating, in wanting to get along, as no amount of spoiling will change it if you are not comfortable with me. On the other hand since I am seeking a nsa sort of arrangement (friends with benefits – real benefits in my case!) it allows both of us to not worry about “is this true love” which would occur in dating.

  39. young - looking for the 1 says:

    Hey Mike –

    I think all that makes sense, hopefully you can have a bit more free time soon!

    Do you know many people who have had luck in findingout what they were seeking from this site?

    If you have any other questions for me, feel free.

  40. Sisyphus says:

    Hi Mike, as an SB I thought I would chime in as well. The answer, really, is it all depends. I’ve become friends with several SDs so if they were to now ask me to visit (and I were interested in being more than friends), I would not have a problem going to their respective city and even staying with them.

    If it were someone new or someone I’ve only just started talking to (probably less than a few weeks or a month), I would feel comfortable going to another city, but certainly not staying with the person.

    On the flipside of Young’s question. I don’t get any mail either as my profile is also hidden. The rare time I see someone I want to send a message too, I more often than not get a response, even if it is a rejection. I have been getting less responses lately, but I haven’t really put any thought into why. It’s most likely a distance issue or they just didn’t like my profile lol.

  41. Michael says:

    Hi Young looking for the 1 & Sisyphus,

    To Young’s:

    What do you look for in an email from an SB? or from an SB in general?

    I did not really address part of your question. For an email, I would expect some explanation of what you are after. It is surprising how divergent SB are and what they expect here on SA. I am not after a life story in an initial email, but perhaps goals and if applicable why my profile caught your eye. Email (& profiles!!) are not the same as real conversation, it is easy to be too brief, or rude, or just confusing – heck I did it in not answering your first question! Sorry about that.

    I have met two SB socially who have ads on this site, but was not comfortable bringing up the fact I recognized them, partly it is a delicate topic in a public area to raise and also I am very busy with work. One SB turned out to be pretty far out there in wild, which is not my scene – I am far too boring for him – er that is being diplomatic…

    At this point I have not contacted anyone via SA, but hope to soon.

    For both you and Sisyphus, how has your experience been in meeting SD? Met any, had any problems or successes?

    Best of luck guys.

  42. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi Michael,

    In my messages I make an effort to include what attracted me to send it in the first place, and just a brief description of what I’m looking for or what my take on the site is. I’ve been in some ways treating this site as a dating site, but expanding my horizons as I would not otherwise be able to afford dating someone out of town. Of course, I am not expecting a real relationship from here, friends, or friends with benefits are ok too until I find something more serious. I’m also quite independent so I thought this site may be a good way to teach myself how to let someone else do something nice for me lol.

    I have yet to physically meet any SDs. They are few and far between north of the border. I have talked extensively with 3 all from the US. One has disappeared, the other 2 have become friends with whom I exchange emails on a regular basis. In my experience, people tend to prefer convenience and are not inclined to do the long distance thing.

    To Michael, what are you looking for in a SB? And for the gay/lesbian SBs what are you looking for in a SD?

  43. Michael - SD says:


    I wonder, are you busy pushing boulders up big hills? Have you done anything really naughty lately?????

    You may have seen my post in Sugarpendence, but I would prefer an independent SB. Basically I do not want to babysit anyone. Am happy with the idea of mentoring if my skills and knowledge are transferable to the SB. I am also very busy, so do not need “major problems” from a SB.

    In a sense I am seeking an affair, that is still warm and friendly, without it being thought of as likely to become permanent. Sort of Mr. Right Now, with benefits.

    Probably will approach the SB in my neck of the woods first, mostly for convenience. Must admit I am leery of the whole thing, but hey, I try things. I can be bold.

    A big one for me is personality, there would have to be some chemistry of at least casual friendship. If he has to think of England during sex, I would not be interested in him.

  44. SisyphusSB says:

    Just one or two boulders…no more than anyone else I am sure. My union has assured me they will never grow in size and I will receive an excellent pension once eternity ends :)

    As for the naughty…maybe just a little…I suppose it depends on who you ask. I’m sure god would have a word or two with me if he were real…you know, that whole living a life of sin thing :P

    Yep, I saw your posts. I agree with the no major problems aspect…for any relationship. No minor problems would be pretty great too but I think that may be asking too much.

    England? haha, I am afraid to ask. Does London count? It’s a fine line between the appropriate amount of independence and being distant. A friendly affair sounds about right lol, you should coin that term. I would want my SD to be independent, I don’t see the need to talk every single day, but not so much so he doesn’t return my emails or phone calls.

    I’m realizing I would like someone a bit quirky/eccentric who can make me laugh. Otherwise things would become stale quite quickly.

    SA really needs to put together an official gay blog. This hijacking of other blogs isn’t working so well. Does anyone else have anything to add? What do you look for in a guy/SD Ryan?

  45. young - looking for the 1 says:

    Ive been gone for a bit … SisyphusSB I definitely agree on the whole separate gay blog … but this will kind of due for now.

    Mike – Ive met one and almost met another. Getting back to the distance, its really a interesting thing, I felt obliged to stay with the one I didnt meet because he was saying Id get my own room and stuff, but he flaked and I had to figure stuff out from there. It turned into a wonderful weekend for me so its all good, but it makes me nervous for going to meet an SD in a city far away. Im almost always not looking to have sex after saying hello (even after a conversation) … so planning on staying under the same roof doesnt appeal to me too much. This was a bad experience in terms of trying to meet the SD… but lesson learned.

    The one I met was really nice and everything went well, it was all good, we talk at times still but we live far away from eachother and its always hard to tell whether I should commit or not. We didnt talk about any arrangements and any time I mentioned coming to visit it normally meant me paying to come visit and him paying for dinner … Id rather be the one paying for dinner if the other one had to pay for a flight, but thats just me.

    Talking about the arrangement is hard, I never know how to go about it … Im probably different from the both of you in that Im not opposed to finding someone serious on here …

    What do you think is the best way to bring up an arrangement on here? Specially since hookups in the gay world kind of happen everywhere you turn …

  46. Michael - SD says:

    Hi Young looking for the 1,

    Sorry to hear you had some bad experiences, even if only minor.

    My original thots for long distance SB would be either fly to meet them (now my favourite – but with my schedule difficult) or bring them to my city. Basically my plan would have been a lot more generous than what you were offered, ie I would book them a hotel in my city for the duration which I viewed as an easy escape for either of us. I intended (and still intend) to pay both such a hotel and the flight. Seems only fair to me, but I have always done my own thing, and I am so honest most people view it as surprising. And generally I would set the first date as dinner only, just to meet, greet and develop an in person rapport, so any the following days is avoidable for either party.

    As for hooking up, yes I think there is a different perspective in the gay community, which is why I like this separate blog. In negotiating the visit – to either city, I would include a blunt request for a hookup, but I would also offer some spoiling in return. But I think being very honest and including some escape routes for both sides, I would be taken seriously. Am not sure how much SB have viewed other SB profiles, but there are some mighty different expectations that way.

    I think some of the SD on this site view all the SB as being in dire financial situations, which I think is very inaccurate. Many SB seem to be after some mentoring and a boost so to speak, but could continue without it if nothing comes of this site. In other words you could pass on any SD you viewed as a jerk or worse.

    Then again if a SD (or SB for that matter!) seems intent on trying to get something for nothing from the very beginning, or to just treat you in a shabby fashion, I doubt they will improve, so I would suggest discerning them. The only caveat, make sure you explain yourself well via email or over the phone, am often amazed how badly some people do that!

    How would you guys {young and sisyphusSB} and any other SB react to the kind of offer I outlined above – assume we have chatted a bit to at least the point where the offer is not a surprise – ie not the first chat!


  47. SisyphusSB says:

    Young Looking for the 1:
    You’re not alone in being open to something serious. I’m completely open to let a relationship develop as it may. That’s awful you were stood up in a strange city, I’m glad it all worked out for you though. It’s shocking to think someone would do that to another, potentially financially strapped, person.

    As far as sex on the first date, I never say never, but it would be a rare thing. I am always safe regardless. I also have no idea how one might broach the subject of an arrangement. I’ve always preferred when the other man takes the lead so perhaps I would wait until he brought it up.

    I know exactly what you mean as far as the honesty thing. I am very honest, especially in my writing and it is surprising, if not off-putting, to some people. I suspect they think, oh, if he’s this open now, he must become so much worse once he really opens up, but what you see is essentially what you get.

    As far as the hooking up issue, if I liked the person I was with, it would be something I want to do, and therefore would not feel like an obligation in any way. I think you are spot on in your thoughts on the SB community. I can’t say how representative of the population I am, but I am financially independent for the most part and have many options romantically. I would not be able to afford dating someone in another city, or enjoy frequent outings as I’m putting myself through school but I am in no way desperate. In some ways, this site is simply a tool to expand my dating pool with a potential for other benefits.

    Yours is an ideal offer and I’m sure many SBs would receive it very positively. I have to admit, I’m not really one for shopping so anything above what you offered would probably seem excessive to me lol. That last sentiment, I’m sure, is not one shared by many SBs. Perhaps, instead of dinner, there might be a more suitable activity to break the ice, like taking a walk, or doing something unique for that city if the person has never been there before. I suppose it’s something you could discuss one on one with your SB. Have you had any luck yet? or are you still testing the waters?

  48. young - looking for the 1 says:

    Thanks for the sentiments.

    Micheal – Your offer is kind of what I would hope for if I was going to come visit. Mainly because, coming on this site I assume SD’s have some money to throw around if they actually find someone worth it.

    Also, you are right in that Im not dire need of money, Im just in school and doing the whole student/work thing.

    SisyphusSB – Do you ever get in contact with an SD, but then they go silent? I seem not to go much further than an email or two. And normally the emails are like I think we are a match, we should talk more and arrange something, but then all the sudden they go quite after I reply with a positive but slightly hesitant response. Something along the lines of ‘yes, we should get to know eachother and possibly meet in the future.’

    Micheal – let us know if you had luck in your offer … I am pretty sure most SB’s would be very open to that offer.

  49. Michael SD says:

    Hi SisyphusSB and Young looking for the 1,

    For Sisyphus, yes, IF I were to make any such offer, I would have wanted to chat a lot on the phone, not to mention some emails etc, basically to the level of at least some of the framework for any arrangement – which ensures we are compatible on things like expectations etc. I was rather brief on my last blog entry – always a tricky thing to judge.

    My own take is that I think the personal compatibility is going to be the toughest, and that really is chemistry. I suspect (as a neophyte) that it is different from say online dating, but there are some overlaps. I think SB that are “born to party” would view me as a wet blanket, so I would want to weed them out for the benefit of both him and I. I also like intelligence, I need a conversation! Plus the less drama the better. To some extent students or someone with a life that is going somewhere appeals the most to me.

    I would be curious to hear from both of you on your take on the chemistry side – Young for the 1, that could be the silent treatment you got – then again, you are literate, which might put some SD off, but I would recommend you stay literate!

    For SisyphusSB, I am still lurking, have an out of town guest for awhile, and work’s still busy, but August looks hopeful. The comments from both of you are insightful and useful, which I hope will bring me some luck, if not success when I have the time to approach a SB or two. Good luck for both of you guys.

    As your mum always said, “Don’t forget to wear your rubbers – it’s wet out there!” ;o)


  50. Michael SD says:


    I think the other aspect of honesty that sets people back is that dishonesty is pronounced in the gay community. Gay men learn to lie very, very effectively to keep their closet when they are young. As a result many of them grow up thinking that is how you have to be, to be gay. Early gay lib theory advocated being “out” and “honest”, as lying about who you really are means you feel bad about it and that will harm you.

    Just think about how many gay men you met who were really good at lying to you! Is it a big number??


  51. SisyphusSB says:

    Young – looking for the 1

    There have been a couple, that after a few emails, we both pulled back…if someone is disinterested in me I am generally also disinterested in them. It’s not that I want to be pursued, but I want someone who will at least meet me half way in their effort to make conversation. I tend to mirror the personalities around me so if someone is quiet or anxious, they make me feel anxious and more introverted. There was only one who I talked with quite extensively who surprised me when he disappeared. He seemed genuinely interested, then stopped responding to emails/phone calls, reappeared for a while and then did the same. It completely baffled me and I have given up trying to understand it. It’s possible he found someone else, decided now was not the time for any type of relationship, or simply lost interest.

    It’s possible your email to him made you seem less interested than you really are. How short was the email? Was there anything else to it aside from what you wrote here? If you genuinely want to get to know him you should show it in your email. Ask questions you might have and let him get to know you as well. And I agree with Michael, stay literate…it’s a turn on for those that matter :P

    Are there any other gay lurkers that would care to share any success or failure they have had in their search?

  52. SisyphusSB says:


    I think after getting to know someone on the phone & through email before hand, getting together would be more like meeting a friend opposed to a first date. In that case I think most people would already know if they are going to, or willing to, sleep with that person (especially in the gay community where things seem to move quicker).

    As for the chemistry…we are all neophytes in this game called life! I’ve come across a few SDs who really like to party. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional night out dancing or what have you, but as a lifestyle it’s not for me. I do not want to be in constant competition with an ever changing cast of bar stars lol. If drinking is involved, I would rather it be at home or in a lounge where we can passionately debate (argue? lol) about philosophy over pints or wine, express our dreams & wishes…anything but stand around judging others/spreading lies & rumors, which seems to be prevalent in the club scene.

    Haha…yes, wet indeed…another reason I stay away from partyers. My mum never gave such sage advice, as a child I was featured in the newspaper with my sister for walking to school, in pouring rain, with nothing but sandals, shorts and a t-shirt :P Not an article on parenting lol, but just a cute photo to go with something about the weather. I’m not sure what the neighbors thought but she was still mortified. I found it all quite entertaining of course.

    The number of those who have lied to me is very high, and unfortunately for me, the number of those who have done it successfully is very low. I think being able to see through people actually puts one at a disadvantage. Ignorance is bliss right? I’m fairly new to the gay community so I find your insights on the topic helpful. :) So have you blossomed into a seasoned con artist? :P

  53. Michael SD says:


    Well I could have blossomed into a seasoned con artist as all my friends do trust me as I just refuse to lie. Some personal issues I might decline to discuss, but I would disclose that, yet keep my dignity. The benefits are obvious, I keep my integrity [important to me anyways] and my friends still trust me after all these years [also important to me]. So I am not a con artist, as I do not want to be.

    For Young for the 1: The initial SB I will contact will be local ones, partly as it is safer and of course easier. IF they do not work out, I will move further afield. Then my plan is to visit them if possible.



  54. SisyphusSB says:

    Hey everyone…well, Michael and Young looking for the 1 lol.

    I was just teasing Michael. I know, as you said in previous posts, that you are honest. I am the same way and I suspect if honest people started to lie, they would not be known as the well respected, loyal person they are, for much longer.

    I know we’ve talked a lot about what us SBs and SDs want as far as personalities, arrangements, but what about the physical? What are you usually attracted to Michael? What about you, Young looking for the 1? Obviously nothing is written in stone, there are always exceptions. For me, it tends to be that older, distinguished looking man in his 40s or 50s…I’m a sucker for a mature man in a suit :) Some extra weight doesn’t bother me, I’m most attracted to a face and I find that the more I like someone’s personality, the more I find them physically attractive.

  55. Michael SD says:


    Well what do I look for physically? *sigh* I fit the stereotype, I like cute young men, and am a sucker for a handsome face. On the other hand, I insist on brains, I need someone to talk to! Ironically I get along very well with young people, as I do meet a fair number in my life.

    I also would refuse a man who is a smoker. I put up with it in my two lovers, but never again!

    And SisyphusSB, I can do the suit routine very well, but almost never bother. I am a blue jeans and denim shirt sort of guy.

    How about you, Young for the 1?



  56. stephan says:

    hey all. just poking in to say hello. I’m Family ;)

  57. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi Michael

    I guess I fit the stereotype for the older, distinguished man as well. We’re all walking cliches I suppose. I would never consider a smoker, maybe, just maybe someone who smokes cigars occasionally, but that’s it. I’ve never had the desire to try it. I don’t know anyone who actually enjoys wearing a suit all the time, well, maybe one or two, but I think most people prefer jeans. I prefer wearing khakis or jeans, I’m a fashion disgrace for the gay community probably. I think Young-Looking for the 1 may have disappeared…

    Welcome Stephan :) This makeshift/hijacked gay blog of ours is in dire need of a fresh voice! lol. It’s a bit hidden so no one seems to see it. I’ll ask you the same questions we’ve been asking each other :)

    Have you had much luck in finding SDs on here?
    What do you look for emotionally & for personality?
    What are you physically attracted to?

    Hmm…I’m sure there are more things we’ve discussed but that’s all I’ve got for now :P

  58. stephan says:

    Hi SisyphusSB,

    Thanks for the warm welcome!

    I have been somewhat of a lurker on the site as far as my sugar daddy seeking. When i first joined about a year and 3 months ago I got a few responses, and i had one date planned with a potential, but I skipped it because I felt guilty about my boyfriend – which I now regret. haha

    This is kind of a hidden little cove isn’t it? I like what you guys have done with the place :)

    I have met a friend sugar daddy here – but we’re not in an arrangement, I don’t get any financial support from him.

    In terms of what I look for emotionally, I’d say I’m searching for an incredibly wise, humorous, industrious, spontaneous friend to form a deeper mutually beneficial connection with.

    Physically I tend to be attracted to all types of guys. I like short guys like myself (5’7) and can enjoy a tall guy just as well ;) I hadn’t really been into older guys until recently, but if I met the Right SD I could totally find myself being attracted to them.

    How about you? How has your sugar journey been going?
    Are you in a relationship? Have you been or do you want to be?

    Hope you’re having a great night :)

  59. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi Stephen, and lurkers :)

    I’m definitely a lurker too, I keep my profile hidden. I’m probably far too picky :P I’ve been off and on since December. I’m definitely looking for the same thing emotionally, industrious is a key word I think! Someone who’s experienced and aware of the world.

    I haven’t met anyone off the site yet, but I have become friends with 2 SDs from the US who I talk with regularly. They provide no support of course, I support myself. I think the American SDs are much less interested in pursuing a relationship with a Canadian :( but I can’t really blame them, distance is for sure an inconvenience.

    Lately I’ve been into taller men, but it’s mostly all about the face for me, and how they treat me, and treat others (manners, etc). Thoughtfulness is a big turn on for me. I’ve always been into older men, physically and emotionally. They just have more experience and know how to treat a person, no drama :)

    My situation is becoming more complex by the week lol. I’m not really looking for anything too serious, which is why I’m on here, but I’ve been dating someone who wants something more serious. He’s not from this site, I’ve known him for 2 years and things started to pick up 4 months ago. He’s wealthy and I can’t afford to eat at expensive restaurants, go to shows all the time, etc, so in that respect, I suppose he’s sort of been an SD as he always wants to go out. He wants me to move in with him and we just went on a trip to a major city in the US. He wants to go somewhere else before I return to school.

    This all sounds great on paper, but I’m not comfortable taking so much from someone who wants more from me, when I’m not prepared to give more. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, I may even consider something more serious down the road but with my school and everything else, I’m just not ready for it. I’m fairly new to the whole gay community, so I still feel like I need to explore a bit. There’s also a closeted prominent member of the community wanting me to “cheat” on the person I’ve been seeing and be a sex buddy which is just stressing me out lol…don’t even get me started :P Yeah, so like I said, it’s complicated…I’m a one person guy, but I don’t want to be committed to something serious at the moment, if that makes sense…

    For you and Michael, How has your weekend been? Any upcoming prospects in your sugar life?

    Enjoy what’s left of the weekend! :)

  60. SisyphusSB says:

    Just to clarify, I am open to something serious and am a hopeless romantic in some respects, I just have the gut feeling this current person isn’t the one for me, and moving in is too serious too fast.

    I’m willing to commit and do everything you do in a serious relationship just up to the point before moving in together (as long as it’s with the right person) Until then, I want something more casual, which is what this was supposed to be :)

  61. Michael SD says:

    Hi Stephan,

    Welcome Stephan. Hope you will enjoy the blog too. Tis good if we have our own gay one, the issues are different from the other side of the fence, but of course not always.

    To answer your question, I am not in a relationship and generally no longer am seeking that. I think a friendly SB with whom I have a connection, would do well for me. I looked for a lover for over 25 years and I have gotten bored with the hunt so to speak. A lack of good results will do that to ya.

    I have recently been seeing a young man, who I met elsewhere. Am setting up another time with him and so far so good. He was much friendlier than I expected, I was expecting someone shy, which he is not! but so far so good.

    One of my preferences (see my posts above) is to be honest, so I would not be having affairs on the side etc.

    best of luck to you Stephan.


  62. Michael SD says:


    The closet case who is pressuring you to have a sex only relationship with him on the sly is the sort I generally recommend against. Basically if he gets what he wants (sex with you) he is indifferent to others, usually including you. Lying is to my mind and my experience a self-destroying behaviour. I would recommend you be cautious if you pursue anything with him – and yes I recognize an incredibly brief description by you above is not the most objective way for me to evaluate him. Besides you are uncomfortable, which basically tells you to either avoid it, or wait and see.

    As for your rich BF or SD, his pressuring you into moving in with him seems potentially controlling. I would suggest you discuss your goals in life (school, hobbies etc) and see how he responds. In this situation you could be frank and discuss barriers for you (eg paying books and tuition) as an evolution of your goals etc. Note how he responds, is it possible to steer him into the sugar relationship you are already seeking? You may have to speak obliquely initially, but then it depends on how he responds. It is fair for you to be reluctant to relinquish your independence – if he suddenly tired of you, where would you go/live etc. To borrow a popular political phrase: “You need an exit strategy”!

    You may be able to get him to let you live separately pro tem, and then decide gradually if you wish to try living together. Depending on your province, you will likely be adjudged to be common-law after two years of living together and should he break the relationship, you have legal grounds.

    If he is also new to coming out, he may be in a hurry. If he has been out awhile he should probably know better. In his place I would be thrilled to keep you living apart, but where we spend time together etc. Yes even if you are drop-dead gorgeous, it is better to take my time and work with you that way.

    IF you want to see if he is controlling, how does he treat you when you are together? From little things to big things, they all add up. Not to mention how is he towards others. If you are really bold, ask him about previous young men he dated, there will be lots of clues there.

    Caveat emptor!


  63. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi Stephan,

    What type of friendship do you have with the SD? Do you talk to him often? What changed for you to start liking or considering mature men? By the sounds of it, I’m guessing things didn’t work out with your boyfriend. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope your sugar search is going well. :)

    Thank you for the well thought out advice Michael! Nothing will happen with the closeted guy, I just hate having to say no to people or cut them out of my life. I have an irrational need to be friends with everyone and drama free. He’s not a bad person, I just prefer being honest & getting everything I need from a single person. He probably doesn’t care about me all that much either, as you said. I’ll have to find a way to get the message through to him in a diplomatic fashion, which is hard when you’re dealing with people who have major egos lol.

    I’m a pacifist :) I never go to war so an exit strategy is never required lol. He is controlling with certain things, like the food we eat. I am fine with that as it forces me to try new food I wouldn’t order otherwise, and I’m always meaning to explore new things. As far as movies, shows, plays, and most other things, he usually lets me decide or else it’s a healthy discussion & compromise. There is not much of a history with other young men, which could be a bad sign, or a good one, or else there is a history and he’s not sharing :P I will take your wise advice, live separately and just let things develop organically.

    Well, I’m starting my architecture degree this coming September and I’ve just secured my apartment so the moving issue is closed for now. I’ll be paying for everything (tuition, rent, etc) myself, using savings, grants & student loans. The idea of being dependent on someone else really freaks me out. I would have trouble asking him or anyone to pay for that for me, or discuss how someone might spend money on me. I think that’s why I joined this site, to get over my inability to let someone do things for me…I get paranoid if someone is too nice to me…healthy? no? lol

    I’m happy to hear you’ve met someone promising, that’s fantastic! :) Have you set up the second meet yet? If a shy person was energetic/enthusiastic you must have made him feel pretty comfortable. I can be shy, so if I’m talkative with someone, it’s a very good sign. Let us know how it develops :)


  64. Michael SD says:


    Your closet case will probably drop you like a hot potato when you do not put out. then again, it will reveal where you were with him. IF he sticks about, then you may wish to evaluate him differently over time. One of my best pieces of advice would be to take your time, do not let yourself be rushed, regardless of who it is.

    As for door number 2, if he can handle you being on your own, it could develop nicely. I am very leery of anyone moving in with me on short notice – seen too many disasters with my friends, so have never done that myself. Good on ya for architecture school and so on. any potential SD should view that favourably, because if they did not I would expect them to be really weird (ie bad weird).

    The current BF/SD if he pushes you [gently] to explore is helping you. Nothing wrong with gradually moving out of the shell so to speak, but at a pace comfortable for you. So long as that continues, there is potential. I think for any SB, surrendering independence is an issue, so you should think it out first.

    As for my new SB, second major meeting is about to happen, and it is promising for now. It has gone better than I expected. Most people when they meet me relax if they are good at reading people, as they realize I am a no bs type, and even friendly! ;op

    Good luck with the schooling SisyphusSB. Study hard.


  65. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi Michael,

    I’ve actually dropped HIM like a hot potato, and a few others as well :) My tastes have been changing and I’m starting to grow a bit weary of those who can’t live in reality. All the people I meet seem to be wildly successful, not from this site, but so insecure they can’t live without the fantasy aspect (such as dom/sub) I’m all for fun, but I’m rather fond of reality too. So in essence, I’ve been trying to cut out all the “bad weird” from my life and trying to find the “good weird” :)

    Things are good with the person I’ve been seeing. It’s stable, completely based in reality and mature. Generally, a refreshing change even if the chemistry could be better. I think I may forever be searching for the gay version of Steve Martin :) I admit, I have a very large crush on him. Generally, I love people who are charming with a sense of humour.

    Have you taken the plunge to join SA? I’m curious to see what your profile would be! How are things going with your potential SB? Hopefully by now you’ve had 2nd, 3rd and 4th meetings :) It’s appears as though this blog has died once again despite our efforts.

    I’m enjoying my free time before I get sucked up in school. It can be insanely competitive…and I can be a bit obsessive lol…to the point of eschewing eating for perfecting unimportant details that no one will ever see. All enjoyable none-the-less. How is life treating you? I know you mentioned how busy you were before, have things slowed down enough for you to start enjoying the end of summer?

    Calling out for Stephan & Young for the one! Where did everyone go?


  66. Michael SD says:


    Agree this gay sugar blog seems to keep dying. Hope some others can chime in, even if only from time to time. You would think a bunch of gay men would have something to say…

    The fantasy thing can be a good thing, so long as it is kept in the bedroom, if they can’t shake it the rest of the time, it is a bad weird. I have done a great deal of that stuff, not because it was my kink, but my partners wanted to play at various things, and if I gave them what they wanted I got what I wanted – even if mine was tamer. It was hot too.

    I agree someone with a sense of humour is charmer in their own right. They don’t have to be a pro comedian, but you either laugh at the world or cry for it. Laughing is more fun.

    My meetings with my SB have been fun for the few we have had. Both of us are sort of busy. With him in the picture I am putting off joining SA for now. In one sense I am trying to develop a feel for how to approach all this. SB certainly seem to be diverse in their expectations.

    School can be fun, but also develops a tedium as you want to get on with it. I was at university in my 30s and really enjoyed it. Was very outspoken in classes, and not always endearing to profs, tho most liked that it certainly livened up the classes. Enjoy.


  67. Derek says:

    Hey everyone!

    I see this gay blog is alright … we should get some topics out there?

    This site hasnt worked out very well for me but its cool cuz I seem to find good men in person. But, does this site work for you guys? Or what has been going on? It seems a lot sketchy ish guys that only check this so often are on here … slightly annoying but I think one time itll work out.

    Alright… Ill try to check this often but forgive me I do not … School, work, and more work …

  68. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi Michael & Derek,

    I have been MIA for quite some time. My schedule is a cruel experiment in the limits of pain thresholds and mental punishment. They keep telling us we’re the only program med students feel sorry for. I’ve pretty much stopped talking to people outside of school for lack of time, as well as skipping sleep and meals…kind of depressing, but also exciting in a masochistic way lol. Michael, I can be quite opinionated too, my teachers hate it when I point out their mistakes :P. I hate it even more when they ask flawed questions so it is not possible to answer correctly!

    I’m happy to hear things are going well with you and your potential SB…have things continued to develop? What did you go to school for if you don’t mind me asking?

    I agree with you completely. Whatever happens in the bedroom is fine, but if it follows you outside, there is a problem. The largest problem is when there is nothing outside the bedroom. I cut off contact from all the people like that in my life some time ago now. I’m trying to focus on the guy who had asked me to move in before. It’s going well, but we’re both very busy and do not see each other as often as we’d like. With a problem like that, I count myself lucky.

    Derek, I’ve met a few friends off of this site, but nothing more. The long distance seems to be a problem, regardless of wealth. People of all shapes and sizes seek convenience. My hands are quite full with school, the guy I’ve been seeing off and on, and real life suitors so I spend very little time on here. And by real life suitors, I mostly mean, turning people down as nicely as possible and hoping no drama results from the situation. Some people think your willing to sleep around simply because you are gay…and get angry when you say no. Best of luck to you though. It sounds like you’ve had some bad experiences on here…care to share…has there been any nice ones at all?


  69. Michael SD says:

    Hi Derek and SisyphusSB,

    SisyphusSB my sb seems to be okay for now. Tis sort of we go along on a simple plan which pleases me anyways, and he keeps coming back, so he must be happy.

    My degree was in history, but I have extensive accounting and finance training as well. So I am sort of an odd ball that way. But I have enjoyed most of it.

    For Derek, I met my SB via craigslist, which in hindsight I am not sure I would do again, tho it has worked so far. I think on this site there are many fakes both SD and SB. I also think some of each have weird or unrealistic expectations. Some SD think that they can have whatever they want from the SB, which I doubt works out very often. I seen a few SB profiles that seemed to have inflated expectations. The painful reality is there are far more SB than SD.

    Hope all are well.


  70. SisyphusSB says:

    Hi everyone

    The blog has died once again. Where are all the gay SDs and SBs? This is simply pitiful! lol If there are any lurkers out there, care to share any stories of success, or even failure? Has anyone else found that the SDs who want to mentor someone are usually not up to the task?

    I had never even thought of craigslist. After you mentioned it, I took a look and the ads scared me off. I’m curious about the weird/unrealistic expectations you mentioned. I’m assuming you mean SDs expect SBs to be at their beck & call, and that SBs are expecting far too much money? I’ve been off of this site for quite some time but am considering putting up a new profile. I haven’t made up my mind yet.

    Michael, I wanted to get your perspective as an “SD” on a recent “offer” that someone has brought up with me, but it’s a bit personal for a public forum such as this. Do you have a disposable email I could contact you at? If not, don’t worry about it. Anyhow, I hope things are still going well with your SB!


  71. Michael_SD says:

    Hi SisyphusSB,

    Yes I think unrealistic expectations would be a SD that expects a SB to be a virtual slave. Not realistic. Reading some SB ads, I think some expect finding to solve their problems for life, again, unrealistic. Any SB I hope to set up with would be sane, and have other things going on their life eg school, career etc.

    My SB seems to be sort of lukewarm, but I also have limited time, and so does he, so I guess it is fair for both of us.

    Sorry for my tardy response, but I got rather busy, which also included a bout of swine flu. Avoid the flu, trust me, it is nasty.

    Not sure what you mean by a disposable email, sorry I am not that high tech.

    Hope your schooling goes well.


  72. SisyphusSB says:

    Oh dear! Swine Flu, remind me to stay far away from you :P haha…I actually had the flu recently. It was truly awful. I went to the ER just to be safe as I never get sick (first time in 3 years) so I was rather concerned. It took me a week to get over it.

    By disposable, I meant an email you wouldn’t mind posting on a public forum, but the question I had is no longer relevant. I didn’t accept his “offer” but I have been seeing him off and on. Naturally, I am much more confused now, then when it all started. When it rains, it pours (men, that is).

    I’m sorry to hear things have fizzled slightly with your SB. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the chemistry or people, but the scheduling. I have a hard enough time fitting in time to take care of myself let alone taking care of/entertaining other people. School is what it is, I’m more successful than most, but still not where I want to be so there is nothing to do but keep at it.

    I hope you are feeling better these days! Enjoy the weekend!