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Lessons Learned by a Newbie SD
  • Posted Apr 6, 2011
  • Written by SD Guru

A good night’s rest brings much clarity.

@SD Guru: Yesterday’s date was nice, but, I built it up too much. There are enough things that don’t fit, that I should wait and find either exactly what I’m looking for, or else keep looking…

The more selective you are, the longer you should expect it to take to find the right person. And if you don’t have the patience to wait… you will end up dissatisfied.

Set expectations on first meetings with something you’re comfortable with at the outset, and then, if things go well on that date — then splurge. However, preset amounts/expectations… for what *I* am looking for, isn’t a good move. For me: let’s have dinner/drinks/meet, and see if there’s chemistry. If the SB needs more than that, probably not a fit. It’s a careful balance between valuing their time, and valuing mine, and I understand the need to show genuine seriousness in an arrangement, but I will attempt to strike that balance fairly for both parties. Without leaving me feeling like a walking wallet.

For me: I need to make sure they are a fit for what I’m looking for *before* it gets physical, because I really am not interested in sleeping with anyone unless they are a fit. I’m not looking for “just sex”. Seriously, that’s not that hard to come by if that’s all I want.

Great email exchanges don’t mean jack for chemistry in real life.

The chemistry you think is there in the moment, may be less when you wake up the next day. Anticipation can make the chemistry seem greater than it is.

Some people exaggerate greatly in their profiles, and should reconsider the terminology they use to describe themselves.


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