2 years ago Views 6068
ABC Nightline Interviews our Sugar Daddies
  • Posted Jun 27, 2012
  • Written by JennSA

2 years ago
ABC Nightline Interviews our Sugar Daddies

Once again, college Sugar Babies and the Sugar Daddies who help them along, have become a hot topic in the media. It seems to be everyone’s favorite sugar subject which we’ve even covered on here from time to time. ABC chose to focus on co-ed Sugar Babies who are ‘Dating Off Debts’ for this special Nightline segment, which aired last week. ABC documented the lives of two SeekingArrangement.com members: Tommy, a 63 year old Sugar Daddy with several college age Sugar Babies, and 24 year old college student, Olympia.

Tommy is one of those Sugar Daddies who doesn’t take himself too seriously. He realized after three failed marriages, that a traditional relationship wasn’t working for him, and started seeking sugar. Now he is living every man’s dream at 63, and isn’t ashamed of it. One of my favorite quotes by Tommy is this: “If we’re talking about money exchanged for sex, I don’t see that this way. It’s just not a ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,’” he said. “You pay somehow, somewhere for sex no matter what it is. You know, they say wives do it for refrigerators.”

This is something the media always seems to want to focus on. They just can’t seem to wrap their heads around a fantasy that seems too good to be true. It must be illegal or unsavory, if money is a part of the equation. But really how is it any different than a wife spending her husband’s money, or a man taking a woman to dinner (or vice versa)?  It’s not just about the sex, and in some cases it has nothing to do with sex at all. Sugar does not mean ‘for sale’, but rather ‘I refuse to settle’. Just because the terms of the relationship and all expectations are agreed upon upfront, doesn’t justify the way the media has misconstrued the meaning of a sugar arrangement. Sounds like the perfect relationship to me.

What I love about Olympia is the way she captures the spirit of a true Sugar Baby. The media likes to make it seem like Sugar Babies are these kicked puppies who have no choice but to turn to sugar during hard times, but that is simply not the case. Most Sugar Babies I know are strong, intelligent women, like Olympia, working towards a better life and using every resource and opportunity available to them. Olympia says it best here: ”I’ve got my rent paid for up to a year..I’ve gotten all the cars I’ve had, have been paid for by sugar daddies. I’ve gotten to go to the Caribbean. I’ve gotten to travel all across the nation. I just got some brand new boobs. Life’s great.”

When you put it that way, why wouldn’t you want to be a Sugar Baby? The best part of this segment is the diversity. It’s hard to convince the media that most Sugar Babies aren’t barbie dolls, and all Sugar Daddies don’t look like Hef, even if that’s the reality. It goes to show that Sugar Babies can have brains in addition to beauty, and a Sugar Daddy can really be anyone, even a Mormon.

A Special Request, From Brandon Wade

Hello Sugar Family and Loyal SA members:  I need your help.  A few days ago, 8 of the 13 positive reviews on Amazon.com about the “Seeking Arrangement” book suddenly disappeared, leaving most of the negative 1-star reviews that were posted by SA competitors and sugar haters.  Unfortunately, the SA book which had a 4+ star rating is now rated at an unfair 2-star.  I know many of you have read the book and have told me good things about it.  I am asking all of you who have an Amazon.com account to help me by posting a positive review about the book (if you have read it), or about the Seeking Arrangement website.  Your help and support will be greatly appreciated.  

CLICK HERE TO POST A REVIEW ON AMAZON.COM

Thank you – Brandon Wade, Founder & CEO – SeekingArrangement.com

 

What did you think of the Nightline segment?

Do you think this segment accurately represented the sugar world?

What do you wish they would have included or done differently?

 If you like this article, please LIKE it, or TWEET it.  Thank you!


326 Responses to “ABC Nightline Interviews our Sugar Daddies”

  1. JennSA says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. WCSD says:

    Wow…first…would have thought that was possible by me.

    Anyway, I watched the segment this morning, and obviously went into it expecting the worst, but was pleasantly surprised. There was not the expected negative spin to it, and it was fairly refreshing. I still don’t understand why anyone would be part of one of these segments (other than Brandon of course….marketing is marketing). But there really is no benefit to any SD or SB to be part of it, no matter the spin that the episode creates.

  3. Midwest SB says:

    Second!

  4. Midwest SB says:

    I’m truly impressed! Well done ladies and gents! The ladies do bring up important points that include putting off IRL relationships while in a sugar relationship and you really do have to be certain that you put some sugar away if you’re depending on him as your only source of income.

  5. Kenneth says:

    hey midwest sb fancy seeing you here, lol. What did you think of the Nightline segment?
    I think this site offers sugar baby males to meet sugar mommas also which he never touched on.
    Do you think this segment accurately represented the sugar world?
    NO! It doesnt even touch on the emotional, companionship side of it, outside of the cut and dry expectations of the idea for sugar relationships.
    What do you wish they would have included or done differently?
    Elaborated on why he does it and why she does it. Elaborate or mention the idea that its kinda like a normal “no string attached” relationship with with a bit of “friends with benefits”. That money is just a means for them to succeed and that the sugar parent wants to help them succeed so they offer help in the way of money.

  6. gtt_envy says:

    Well, any prospective SB just upped there allowance range after watching that! SD’s better bring their “A game” after watching that video………lol.

    Very good spin, I too was expecting the worst and was pleasantly surprised also. His house is just gorgeous that would be 9-10 Million here easy and with 6 SB’s at 5k/mo yeah he is the man!!

    He is spending 360K/yr on sugar that’s nuts!!

  7. jackie says:

    After watching a segment similar to this 3 months ago i decided that i wanted to be a sugar baby. i wish that the segment would have really made clear it’s not easy at all to get this kind of arrangements. It takes patience and even with that some of us are still looking and waiting. lol. It makes it seem if your a pretty girl, nice bod, you can get a sugar daddy with one snap. I’m both of that and can’t find a decent arrangement, but i shall not give up. However, I do understand where these sb are coming from I’m starting a masters program in Sept. and its two years long, its gonna cost me 20,000. I am independent and all but that is just crazy and i may not find work afterwards.

  8. Clayton says:

    In the segment, they say that 90% of membership is SD, 10% SB… I’ve hear Brandon say it the other way around. Anyways, as an upstanding SD, I never seem to have any trouble whatsoever finding interesting and hot SBs.

  9. JennSA says:

    @Kenneth I am so pleased to see a male perspective on here. I would love to feature sugar mommies more, however the media doesn’t seem to want to cover that angle and when they do, I can’t get any sugar mommies interested in doing an interview. With this Nightline piece, we did our best to convey all aspects of the sugar lifestyle, including the emotional aspects and the relationships outside of the usual perceived assumptions. In reality, the cameras were with each of these members for three to four days, unfortunately editing cut most of the compelling stuff out. What we feel is compelling, is not often controversial enough to show on television!

    @Clayton yes, they got the quote mixed up, I’ve already contacted them to at least correct it on the website. It’s 90% Sugar Babies, 10% Sugar Daddies.

  10. Angelina says:

    I liked it. I’ll never understand why people seem to be so concerned with another persons lifestyle. As long as they’re not hurting anyone I don’t see the problem. People are going to do whatever we want to do. I think the world outside of SD’s and SB’s are looking in our world with curiosity because they subconsciously want to be us. OF COURSE THIS DOESN’T APPLY TO EVERYONE. But I have friends who I tell about my SD’s and they all want to try it out but are too scared. I tell them that it’s ok and remind them that it’s not for everyone. It takes a while to find a genuine connection. It can definitely be a little weird at times but you eventually get over it. I think that when the media covers our story it should be an hour long segment. You just can cover all of the aspects of this life in a few short minutes. It’s quite complex on both ends.

  11. Angelina says:

    CAN’T*

  12. Clayton says:

    Thanks, JennSA. I think I’ve seen a noticeable uptick in the number of sugarbabies turning up in my searches in the past week.Are you seeing that? If so, is the exposure from the Nightline spot helping this?

  13. TXJesiLove says:

    For the women who are interested in becoming SB’s who are young and thin and absolutely gorgeous in every way that society says we should be, which there are many, its a very encouraging segment. I wish they would delve into it and express that its not easy peasy to come across a sugar arrangement such as these all the time. And women who are chunky/heavy/fluffy/overweight/fat (or any other words you care to use that mean the exact same thing) like I am had better be prepared to wait a really long time or completely change who you are if you can. I just think the segment should have been longer and covered more. But alas that iis only the fault of the media I suspect.

  14. Kenneth says:

    @JennSA i have A LOT of GREAT ideas. Is there a way to talk in private? I messaged wade on facebook about it but he didnt really entertain my ideas.

  15. PhillySB says:

    I have to say I was impressed with this segment as well. I didn’t know what to expect but I enjoyed it and I found Olympia and her SDs very refreshing. I would die if I saw this with my parents though.. omg

  16. PhillySB says:

    @ TESTING

    I saw that T shirt design before and thought it was funny, but I wish I had bought it now because I’d love to wear it. I’m really happy with my SD right now and hope he sticks around for a good while. We’re going away this weekend to spend some quality time together and he’s taking me shopping. I cannot wait!

    So who’s watching the Euro 2012 matches???

  17. Angelina says:

    Congrats @PhillySB:) I have a few meetings with POTS this week. I hope they work out.

  18. Sugarplum says:

    I saw the Nightline just now and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get a Daddy. I’m beginning to think I’m like expired milk, totally obsolete. Is it possible to be a Baby and be in your fourties too? I’m sick of being around losers who don’t appreciate me and use me and then throw me away, and since I have no desire to ever get married again I thought I’d try out this site. I mean is being a young college student a requirement? I’m just wondering because we didn’t have anything like this in the 80′s and if we did, I totally missed it.

  19. JennSA says:

    @Sugarplum we have many sugar babies of all ages. College students are our biggest demographic but that doesn’t mean there isn’t sugar for anyone over the age of 30. Just ask @midwestSB, a very vocal sugar baby here on the blog. She is in her forties and still finds success in the sugar world. The media loves the college girl angle, that is why it is so prevalent when SeekingArrangement.com is covered. Maybe in a future blog post we can discuss sugar after 30…

  20. 9cayenne11 says:

    I really enjoyed watching the segment. I dont see anything wrong with it. I loved the point Tommy made stating your paying for sugar one way or another which is very true. I felt very bad for Olympia being that she burst into tears for him being her only source of income. Well I wish all the SD/SB luck. Hooray for SA

  21. Midwest SB says:

    PhillySB – I’m sure you could order it online! That would be fun to wear…your sugary little secret :-)

    Sugarplum – There are plenty of SDs who prefer women our age. Whatever baggage you may have, leave it at the door and just go for it! Realize it’s sugar, not a dating site and go into it being “detached from the outcome”. This means if it doesn’t work out…so what, go on to the next.

    Kenneth – I’ve checked all my folders and don’t see your e-mail. Could you please double check and make sure you leave in the dashes? Thanks!

  22. Midwest SB says:

    CharmingSB – You have mail!

  23. Teeny says:

    At this point it seems like there are no real SDs left on this site. They are all either bargain hooker hunters, fakers, or are looking for either a regular girlfriend or a submissive partner.

  24. Midwest SB says:

    Awww Teeny – It’s not so bad. There are a few left out there. (((hugs)))

  25. Teeny says:

    @Midwest SB would you mind looking at profile and telling me what you think? Profile Number 885118

  26. Jenni Frimmer says:

    It is working well for me – going on 6 months with my SD!

  27. Brandon Wade says:

    @Teeny Obviously you are using the wrong approach. You need to relook at how you write your profile and focus on the positives. Positive people love optimistic people, and pessimism seems to attract even more of the fakers you speak of.

    For example, this statement on your profile is the best way to attract fakers: “Ive ran into a lot of fakes and flakes on these types of sites so please if you are not serious about meeting or are just looking for a one time fling we may not be right for each other.” Instead, consider writing something more positives, like explaining the type of guys you WANT to meet, rather than the type of guys you DON’T want to meet. Remember, people are not attracted to those who sound jaded.

    Finally, you need to also learn to say NO to these fakers. Also, be patient… as all the fisherman out there will attest, the biggest catch comes to those who wait.

  28. Teeny says:

    Thank you Brandon for the advice. I dont mean to come off as negative or jaded. Im actually a really optimistic person.

  29. Tina says:

    Completely off topic, but if anyone needs a break from the heat (ahem, 109 in the ATX y’all!), go see Rock of Ages. Wonderfully full of 80′s cheese! YEAH!

    I just can’t fight this feeling anymoooooooooooooooore……..

  30. flyr says:

    @Teeny

    Some misc thoughts on profile writing

    Take a blank sheet of paper , draw a line down the middle

    Title the left column HIM

    Title the right ME

    Insert 6 bullet points about the ideal him on the Left

    Insert 5 bullet points about you that would appeal to the ideal on the right

    Insert 20 words about what would be created when the two of you get together

    Use a word or word perfect to draft text from your two outlines

    Let it sit overnight

    Edit as required including spell check . Count the number of times you used I

    My guess is that 95% of the men here want to have a pleasant experience , 5% think they deserve to be abused. Your target market is probably the 95% Are you presenting the vision of reliable pleasure . Remember men do not get raging urges to rearrange the furniture or dye their hair at midnight rather than have sex.

    Say what you don’t want in a positive way.

    I disagree about discouraging email. While people may write what you want to hear you need emails for baseline information. Also for many men it may be more convenient to email in the initial stages. Talking on the phone is important and a time to do more screening.

    Try not to send mixed signals regarding your financial aspirations/requirements. If the profile demands an offer in the initial communication I will generally ignore it as I take it as a signal that the SB is primarily focused on the high bidder.

  31. Midwest SB says:

    Tina – Coooool suggestion dudette! Love 80s cheese! REO’s Keep on Rollin’ is one of my faves!

  32. TXJesiLove says:

    I love how positive and completely off topic these blogs get. And its amazing that some of the SD’s(flyr) will come on and give advice. But I haven’t read anything from SDs about their SB experiences. That is a thought that very much intrigues me.

  33. Kenneth says:

    Midwest SB- you have mail from account number 1068005 look him up

  34. anonymous says:

    Of course I will post a positive review! Although the SD/SB concept is often perceived negatively by the media, I absolutely love the way the site is able to connect the young and the beautiful with the old and the wise in a way that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. I suppose this is also my time to comment on the idea that thanks to SeekingArrangement’s operation, I would imagine it’s reducing a lot of sex crimes… the media sometimes likes to suggest that this is in fact a sex crime, but I beg to differ. I would much rather have a site like this operating to deal with the problem of bringing all the older gentlemen together with all the young beautiful women who are mutually seeking a certain power exchange than for these older men to find these young ladies through “hit-or-miss” sexual advances in the workplace. My mother worked in an industry [in the 80's] where she and many of her female coworkers were frequently approached with mostly unwanted sexual advances from their older superiors in the industry, and honest to god a site like this would have prevented a lot of sexual harassment cases and trauma that could have otherwise been avoided by simply having a unique and established outlet like this. Food for thought. And thank you!

  35. Sweet SB says:

    I have met many wonderful guys from this site, but most are seeking hookers.

  36. _Madison_ says:

    Hi peeps, what’s shaking?

  37. flyr says:

    @sweet SB – I am not doubting your experience but you might look to see if there is anything you could do to your profile to ward off the hooker hunters. If they feel you are a low probability target they are more likely to leave you alone.

    Part of the problem is that there are a lot of pleasure by the hour industrial debutantes, disguised as SBs here……….

  38. Jack says:

    Unlike most of the above posters, I did not think the Nightline segment was positive nor do I think it would be well received by the broad public–even if people within the sugar world (such as most of the above posters) found it positive. I do realize this segment was more “positive” than previous pieces, so perhaps by that frame of reference, it was positive, but I think it will be viewed highly negatively by people outside the sugarworld (so what else is new, right?).

    For example, I think most watchers would be completely unable to relate (and I am stating this very kindly!) to a very rich 63-year-old guy sleeping with seven 20-something-year-olds simply because he has money. This is exacerbated by Monty’s answer to the question of (I am taking poetic license in restating the question)“So how is it having sex with an old fart?” to which Monty answers “It is what it is.” I think most people would hear that answer and conclude – “Of course the sex is no good—that’s why he has to pay her $5K per month.” To most watchers, this would reinforce the conclusion that this is prostitution.

    I think the repeated mention of “broke college girls” is not positive either, for a host of reasons. First, if 30% of SB’s are college girls, probably less than 20% of the SB’s are “broke college girls.” The other 80% of SB’s—the vast majority (and probably most if not all the above SB posters!)—are not represented in that repeated description. In addition, focusing on their broke-ness makes it again look like prostitution—ie, they would never do this if they weren’t broke.

    I think one of the worst statements was Tommy’s comparing his SB’s to a high-dollar car. Did none of the SB’s who complimented this segment above feel offended by that? I am an SD, and I was offended (and I don’t offend easily). I think Tommy is genuine in his comment, but to me it’s not a positive for this lifestyle by any stretch of the imagination. Compounding this was Tommy’s description of various SB’s as Walmart vs. Neimann Marcus SB’s, later expanded to Target SB’s by Olympia (I think). And the scene with Kenny rolling off $100 bills didn’t come across as positive.

    Finally, when Olympia describes the Mormon guy as a “dream come true” because she gets money and “doesn’t have to sleep with him,” that again supports the prostitution conclusion (In addition, I suspect most watchers simply aren’t going to believe his statement that after 1.5 years they haven’t had sex “because we don’t believe in premarital sex”–really, are they considering marriage? Really?)

    Having said all the above, I do not blame anyone who said what they thought and believed, and in addition, I do not think any of these segments are ever likely to change the mind of most outsiders about the SB/SD world, so I do not concern myself too much with what other people thinkand do not want my above comments to be interpreted as if I am too concerned about what others think about this lifestyle.

    The reality is that I do not share most of Tommy’s views (and I suspect many other SD’s do not either) and the further reality is that the pot SB’s I have met so far are not at all like Monty and Olympia. Of course, that is because I am looking for something way different than what Tommy is looking for and I suspect most of the SD’s who post here probably share my views more than they share Tommy’s.

    Jack

  39. Heather says:

    I’m new to the site and have read most the blogs but I do wish there were a community blog where a lot of people on the site could go to dicusss anything, much like this but with more opinions and more people. Anyway I have met one guy through this site so far who has been nothing but a gentleman and we text and talk on the phone, we plan to have our first date in 2 weeks! I’m kinda nervous not gonna lie, a few months ago even I wouldn’t be caught dead doing this but I’m an open-minded gal and figured it was worth a shot. You only live once right? I’d love to hear more success reviews as well to give some of the more hopeless sb’s/sd’s some faith that they too can find something/someone that is exactly what they’re looking for. With all these users you’d figure it comes by quite easily, if this date doesn’t work out then I suppose I will continue my search for the one who we mutually benefit from!

  40. SD Guru says:

    Very interesting video! I have mixed feelings about it so I’ll watch it a few more times and then write a full review later. In the mean time, here are two reviews I wrote prevously about media’s coverage of the sugar world: (1) “Review of Huffington Post article about SA”, (2) “Review of MTV’s True Life: I’m a Sugar Baby”.

  41. Jackie says:

    @Jack, I completely agree with you, i first saw this video believe it or not on facebook news feed, so weird. It was posted by one of my friends who I dated before who is my age (25). He was asking for people’s thoughts on the lifestyle. He voiced his own opinion and said any girl who would do this is selling herself for material goods and should be ashamed of her self”, she has no pride, no self worth bah bah. Another commenter said that if they had the money like tommy did, they would be sticking their d*ck in everything, young and beautiful as well. I was offended, cause clearly i was not the person my friend described. Funny enough when i commented he liked my comment and wrote that I (me) can always see the good in everything, haha funny how he had no idea that i’m a sb in training. lol. But guess what!! I’m a student but i’m not the dependent chick they described. I have a “a real job” and love myself. I don’t want to be made to sleep with an sd and cry about it afterwards. If i sleep with someone its totally my decision and some kind of connection was there.
    I then saw the segment again on here, and thought if i did not know about the whole world of sd/sb i would of thought based on this show that those girls were made to seem like dumb chicks being manipulated and lured by someone viewed as a sexual abuser or perv. and not knowing it. To me this is not positive at all. The segment made it seem like they were emotionally and mentally trapped in the relationship, and they were not doing it totally out of their free will. Whether it’s true or not who knows, but not all sbs feel this way. Some have an sincere connection to their sds.
    Another point i want to make is based on other segments like this, I believe that it is really difficult to find an actually good sd for an sincere sb. I think a lot of rich men are now appearing on the site with the wrong idea. They see, oh gosh i can be with seven nice young sugars that I can pay for like a new car, if i’m bored get a new one”. I’m yet to meet an sincere, gentlemen who wants to get to know me and actually have an arrangement to be more than a one month. Their profiles say “allowance/monthly” and “mutual beneficial relationship” which to me seems like something more than a month but as soon as I mention i’m looking for a long term arrangement they run off, you never get an email back. wtf!! The sad part is i’m beautiful,educated, and know how to take care of my man. I want and have a weakness for middle aged men, and love a man who is kind and generous. No stress, no drama nothing but happiness. Shoot, I would take that instead of a new sex thing every month, which sounds like they are better off with a cheap call girl. It’s hard for me, cause I find myself staring at the older man in the suit, than the young fit good looking guy my age trying to talk to me. What to do?? lol.
    Well sorry for the long story, had to vent. So if there are any sds out there who is looking for a good catch. Give me a shout. i’m located up North, in Canada!! Cause some of the Canadian sds here, are truly confused!!

  42. PhoneGuy says:

    >I absolutely love the way the site is able to connect the young and the beautiful with the old
    @anonymous, yeah I love that this site hooks up the old. That’s what I have to offer a girl, my oldness. ;-)

  43. flyr says:

    @Jackie Your friend doesn’t want you to realize that it may be better to be a gentleman’s princess than a young man’s doormat. That there is an alternative to college dating. It’s not new, 30-40 years ago a surprisingly large number of sorority girls had an “aunt” or cousin in the area whom they visited over an evening each week. It was underground. Some of them were thought to be ice queens as they lacked the need for the frantic Friday night search for companionship.

    If your profile reflects what you wrote above you are likely to find what you are looking for. It takes time.

    Or perhaps he does and isn’t too keen on young women his age having the opportunity to enjoy social situations not focused on the amount of beer you can drink in an evening while watching TV and looking forward to a couple of quickies with whomever is at hand.

    TV exists for ratings and they get viewers by presenting mostly stories that have a slant. SA is perfect as it has sex, money, beautiful women . It gathers a wide audience..

  44. NC Gent says:

    Even though it was more positive than some of the previous media portrayals, I wasn’t a big fan of the segment either. Like Jack suggested, is sleeping with 6 different 20-somethings and burning through $30k a month really what sugar dating is all about?

    @Heather — I have had some really positive sugar experiences. The long term ones all had one thing in common — we spent quite a bit of time getting to know each other prior to entering into an arrangement. Sounds like you might be off to a good start with your potential SD, and I hope things work out well for you.

  45. Jack says:

    Jackie, I agree with Flyr that if you have put a lot of thought into your profile (as you have in your post) and have great pics, you should find what you seek. I do NOT think Tommy represents most SD’s–and speaking for myself, the “broke girl” deal simply does not attract me, regardless of how drop-dead-gorgeous she is, nor does the idea of sleeping with 7 women do anything positive for me. I like smart women who are going somewhere (and yes, I want them to be beautiful) and for whom an SD is the icing on the cake–not the cake itself–which Tommy was to Monty.

    I also was put off by the idea (which came across clear to me in the Nightline piece) that because Tommy is 63, he will be sexually unsatisfying to Monty. In my experience, it’s the OTHER way around. Although there certainly are exceptions to every generalization, my experience has been that the 30-year-olds and 40-year-olds I have been with have been much better sexually than younger women from my earlier days, and without getting into details, let’s just say that at age 55, I don’t believe any of my lovers, when asked about being intimate with me would say, “It is what it is.” Big LOL.

    In fact, I am friends with a Canadian SB who is in her early 30′s (who might be a good contact for you) who just flew this morning to meet up with a 75-year-old pot SD who was married for 36 years and now widowed for 5 years, and who according to my friend seems like a great guy. And they have discussed sex as well. So apparently my friend thinks that sex with a 75-year-old might be OK.

    I do not agree with you that this story will somehow convert otherwise good SD’s into bad ones because they now think they can sleep with 7 twenty-somethings. Sure, this story might attract a few more of those kinds of SD’s, but do you really care? They are easy to identify and pass over, if that is your preference. The good SD’s–and they DO exist–won’t be changed by this story.

    As to the one-month arrangement concern, I do not see any problem with it. I did a trial arrangement recently where I provided the whole allowance up front and I terminated it early because she just wasn’t my cup of tea. We left off on good terms, but I simply wasn’t interested in extending. This is hardly surprising because in any relationship, how much do you know about the other person after 1, or 2 or 3 dates?

    I am about to do another month trial with another lady and believe this one might convert to a BF/GF relationship (no expectations, just belief/hope)–time will tell.

    So I am not sure it is reasonable to malign 1-month arrangements because the fact that they lasted one month may simply say that the fit just wasn’t there. And that is perfectly OK.

    Jack

  46. gtt_envy says:

    I actually watched the whole things this time and see Monty receives 5k/mo while the other 6 split the remaining 90k meaning $,1250/mo. So, 7 SB’s one guy I would say he is bit different than most………..!!

  47. Jackie says:

    MMM, @ flyr that’s so true, the funny thing is he at one point treated me like a door mat. These young boys are so clueless. I can’t even deal with them anymore.
    @ Jack you raised some good points, I did not think of the one month thing like that. However, my problem is not that it can end in one month, it’s fair if it’s not your cup of tea then i see. However, if I state i’m looking for a long term arrangement when you do not know me and you run off by that then i can only suspect your probably a john or pay for play. However, I understand that it takes patience and positivity.Thank you sds and sbs for the stimulating convos. I’m keeping my hands crossed.
    @ Jack You mentioned a Canadian sd, you think she would want to be contacted, maybe she has some advice for me!!
    Like I was just got contacted by this SD this morning, he seems sincere and seems okay with my honesty. However, we shall see. However, I have my eyes wide opened now, and you guys are right building a strong connection first is the key before the arrangement.

  48. VA gentleman says:

    @SweetSB and @flyr– I have had several very wonderful long-term SBs in the past, but my life situation now is that I can only do short-term arrangements–maybe a long weekend, maybe a few weeks’ duration. I am completely up front about it, and I seem to have no problem whatsoever finding interesting, delightful and adventurous young ladies who find these situations acceptable and exciting. As for “by the hour industrial debutantes”, yes, there do seem to be an increasing number posting on SA. Pretty plain to see when they respond, though “Hmmmm… She’s ready to meet and rock and roll tonight and she hasn’t even looked at my profile’.

  49. ContentSB says:

    @VA Gent — What happened??! Are you no longer with your dream SB??? If it’s too personal, just tell me to shove off lol :)

  50. VA gentleman says:

    ContentSB– My longest running situation ran for just shy of a year–a med student that got a residency across the country so no longer practical to continue. I have had several run 5-6 months. Since that time I got married (now 5 years ago). My wife has a liberal attitude towards outside dalliances as long as they don’t interfere with our marriage, so I don’t do anything when we’re together, which is most of the time. We both travel a lot, though, and it’s in those times that we’re apart that I seek the company of SBs.

  51. Jack says:

    Jackie, contact me through my profile (989322) and I will put you in touch with my Candian SB friend. She will have lots of advice for you, I am sure.

    And Jackie, what VA Gentleman proves yet again is that sometimes short-term arrangements are all that can be done. In other words, just like in life in general, there are no “rules” about things in this world. And I think you would be mistaken in your belief that a majority of short-term arrangements means the guy is a “john.”

    As far as pay-for-play, there are lots of variations (sounds like VA Gent has explored some), some which even you might do even despite your negative thoughts about it. Say a nice SD you’ve met a few times andthat you like says to you, “I’m not interested in a long-term arrangement but I am heading off to New York and then Paris for a week–would you like to join me?”

    That might well be a p4p situation, but I suspect a fair number of SB’s might find it interesting.

    Like I said, there are no rules here–as long as people are honest up-front, who’s to judge?

    Jack

  52. NC Gent says:

    VA gentleman — welcome to the blog. I think a few may mistake you for a recent blogger who went by the moniker “VA Gent” – I had to think about it for a second too ContentSB :)

  53. 2Chic says:

    Hi all, its been quiet awhile since I have visited. I have found this site to be quiet difficult, trying to meet a genuine guy is rare (at least from my experience). After viewing the Dateline segment, I became interested in the feedback. I agree with Jack, the statements did not help raise the respect level. I have yet to enter into a genuine arrangement, the guys I have communicated / met with either were pervs, or had no intention of establishing an arrangement. I actually became involved with a guy from the site who lied about honoring the arrangement. That was a big lesson learned.
    I am in my early forties, and naturally attracted to older guys. There has to be chemistry and a connection. I can’t stomach a man I find unattractive touching me just for financial gain. Even though I need the assistance, I just could not go there without the physical attraction.

  54. 2Chic says:

    Correction: Nightline Segment ;- 0

  55. VA gentleman says:

    NC Gent and ContentSB–yes, this was my first post here. Apologies for any confusion with a VA Gent.
    And, yes Jack and Jackie, there are plenty of SBs on here who like the thrill of going away for a weekend–or even staying in. Again, I’m completely up front about the offer and expectations. And, no, I don’t think we see ourselves as john and hooker in these situations. Just a little fling fun and rewarding for all concerned.

  56. SD Guru says:

    Here are some quick takes on the video. I’ll post a full review in my blog later today.

    What did you think of the Nightline segment?

    It’s similar to other segments where media coverage of the sugar world always focus on two main topics: “is it prostitution” and “is sex involved”. So from that perspective it’s just more of the same. However, it was good to see that Tommy, Monty, and Olympia gave thoughtful responses as Jenn mentioned in the blog.

    Do you think this segment accurately represented the sugar world?

    No. Again, like other segments, it sensationalizes the sugar world and reinforces stereotypes in the name of entertainment. It is what it is. It reminds me of “ABC’s 20/20 segment” from 3 years ago. Notice Brandon still looks the same in the video! :)

    What do you wish they would have included or done differently?

    It’s fun and exciting to cover SD’s who have multiple SB’s, and SB’s who juggle multiple SD’s. But no one asked Monty if she knew Tommy has multiple SB’s, and how she’d feel about that. No one asked Kenny if he knew Olympia was going to see another SD. If he knew, would he still have met her at the airport and gave her cash? Another aspect that should be covered is the “end game” or “exit strategy” for the SB’s. As Monty tearfully realized that she has no other source of income, how would she handle her life without the sugar?

  57. NYDulce says:

    @2chic
    Totally agree with you! You have to be patient! The most important thing is Don’t let yourself Get Desperate! Men can smell a needy woman and Will take advantage of that no matter how much of a gentleman he claims to be! I find it best to discuss all important details Before meeting up.You save a lot of time. I’ve had a lot of luck in the Sugar World (None on this site yet).But I’m not worried about and neither should you.There are 1000 ways to land an SD! You seem well spoken and based on your pic attractive as well you do not need a website for this it’s just another option.

  58. Jackie says:

    @ VA gentlemen I see your point, @ Jack thanks sent you an email. I guess key thing is honesty is the best in this relationship so you can make informed decisions. Thanx guys for your input

  59. NYDulce says:

    One last thing in response to those ladies thinking about an exit stragedy.”SDing” as (me and my friends like to call it) should Not be taken as Full time career.I know a few woman who have taken it to a whole other level.No Job,No School,No Career! just SDing! Who can focus on that 24/7.I am soooo glad I work it allows me to be more selective and wait for the right SD. And when it’s over I won’t go hungry lol.SB/SDing should be used by the female to enhance her career and lifestyle not become it.

  60. VA gentleman says:

    Touche, NYDulce. As an SD, I hate the feeling that an SB NEEDs the sugar aspect or else they’re at risk of falling over the precipice–a real splash of cold water. Sure, I don’t kid myself that it’s unlikely to happen without the sugar, but I like to have the sense that the SB genuinely wants and enjoys to be with me in ALL aspects.

  61. FLFunSB says:

    @Jack nice to see you back from your vacation (Jealous) lol. After reading Midwest’s profile I redid mine.

    @Midwest could you kindly read mine again. I love your wisdom. :-)

    FLFunSB- 859960

  62. PhoneGuy says:

    @Guru,
    I agree, they went for the sensationalistic angle. Various sugars with multiple sugars. They would have been so happy if they could have worked a polygamous angle into the story also! ;-)

    And a Mormon saving himself for marriage? SMH.

  63. Mimi says:

    What a dream it is to have someone shower money on you without sex being required, but I’m pretty sure a) they are lying paid actors, or b) it’s next to impossible to find a guy willing to do that. The dream may never become a reality. :(
    Plus, I think they purposefully mixed that 90/10% quote up so as to attract/recruit more sugar babies to the site. Thus making it harder for me to find someone. Dagnab it!

  64. 2Chic says:

    @NYDulce.
    Thanks for the encouraging words and compliment.
    Like you, I truly believe the arrangement should be an enhancement i.e assistance toward ones goal; obtaining independence. Since my divorce, I have been working towards building my own. It gets hectic and financial lack can slow the process down severely. If/when a genuine arrangement is established, I would use the assistance towards the growth of my business. Clothes, shoes,etc comes and goes, but knowledge, power, and independence can last through generations if you are smart. I have been offered a few arrangements outside this site, but had to decline. There was no attraction on my behalf, and unlike an escort, I can’t do such for monetary gain. Even if its NSA, I would have to connect, desire him, and like him.

  65. JennSA says:

    @Mimi everyone on this segment was found on SeekingArrangement.com. They are not actors! Every situation is different, you have to find the right one that works for you.

    @SD Guru thanks for your feedback. I really do my best to cast the right people who will make the best impression. Unfortunately, as you are aware, most people don’t want to be on camera, which is completely understandable. If ABC had included more footage some of the questions you had may have been answered. In reality ABC was with both Tommy and Olympia for four days a piece! The media doesn’t always want to include intelligent answers, or anything that will justify sugar to the general public. (Try as we may!) But it’s good to hear what you all think so we can try to emphasize those aspects that are important to our members more next time around.

  66. SincereSD says:

    While the ABC segment was better than the majority of those aired about sugar relationships, it lacks balance. I was left with several negative impressions:
    - That we are a wanton and promiscuous crowd with multiple partners and relationships. While that may represent;
    - That money is paramount. Tommy can treat women like cars because he has money and Monty will sleep with someone she is not attracted to for money. Olympia will “date” many men to achieve her goals.

    I liked the fact that the women are intelligent, goal oriented, girl-next door types and better represented the majority of SB that I prefer.

  67. Mimi says:

    Some of the things I would have asked Monty, if that’s her real name, involves her long term strategy.
    Also for any other SB/ “Montys” of the world who don’t feel the need to work:
    Though I thank you for not being in the workforce, taking away a job from someone who doesn’t have the means to pay for everything, how do you plan on explaining the 2 year gaps on your resume should you ever decide to join the workforce again? Do you pay a gift tax to the IRS? Did you file for unemployment? If so, do you receive unemployment benefits of any kind? If so, how do you sleep at night? Do you plan on doing this forever? Do you plan on using an SD as a connection to find work later? Do you aspire to be a trophy wife?

  68. VA gentleman says:

    @Mimi–On the 90/10 mixup, I don’t think intentional and JennSA has already said they’re trying to get it corrected, but I have noticed a sudden surge in SB postings here in the Washington, DC area over the past week or so.

  69. JennSA says:

    @Mimi I believe she was asked all those things..unfortunately ABC decided not to show it. Don’t be so hard on your fellow sugar babies… both Monty and Olympia are in school, so they aren’t just twiddling their thumbs. Olympia has had internships that are non-paying, and both are in school full time. Don’t be so quick to judge them just because they happened to be in a situation where they aren’t working. Because of editing, you don’t really get to see the whole picture.

  70. JennSA says:

    @VA gentleman @Mimi yes, Brandon was misquoted, I have already contacted ABC to try to change it on the website transcript. Obviously it’s too late to do so for the video feed. There are generally 9 sugar babies for every sugar daddy in the U.S.

  71. SincereSD says:

    @2Chic
    Good to see you. I would have thought SD’s would be knocking your door down clamouring for a date. :)

    @Jackie
    There used to be a lot of Canadians here on the blog. Not sure who’s still active as I haven’t been contributing in the last year. I know of one other who’s here but I’ll let him identify himself.

    @WCSD
    I was out in your area recently and asked Cap for your contact info but unfortunately she didn’t have it.

    @Jenn
    As a former marketing executive, I can sympathize about the slanted media perspective. If I only had a dollar for everytime I was misquoted. Have you thought about posting a counterpoint on youtube with clips that were cut or rolling your own?

  72. JennSA says:

    @SincereSD that would be a great idea if ABC would give us access to the footage! But I will suggest to Brandon the idea of doing a counterpoint video. All in all, it is really as positive as you could possibly expect from Nightline.

  73. WCSD says:

    @Sincere

    That’s too bad that we missed each other. It is always nice to put a face to a name. Blog gods are more than welcome to share my email with Sincere. There is always next time.

    @Jackie

    I’m a Canadian SD…out on the west coast (therefore West Coast Sugar Daddy – WCSD…I know not too original!)

  74. ariel says:

    I prefer to have a sugar daddy relationship. It is not sex for money. I have developed long term relationships with mine, seven and six years. They are helpful and I enjoy spending time with them. I think I would even without financial assistance but its just an added bonus and since its not a marriage or anything , it keeps things in perpective. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  75. 2Chic says:

    @Sincere
    Hello Dear, great to read you. LOL, unfortunately I keep letting the shady & fake SD run me off the site. :-D. I am back giving it another chance, waiting for my approvals.

  76. Jackie says:

    @ WCSD hello fellow canuk!!! I am from Toronto. Where you located BC, ALB? How’s the sb/sd scene there!

  77. ariel says:

    I also am well traveled, even somtimes more than a sugar daddy because of my background. I also work unlike some of the girls in the interview. I would never get a boob job. I hate when people say a sugar baby is a prostitute. Its companionship. I think welfare is prostitution. And us tax payers are the pimps. That should be mentioned more.

  78. Midwest SB says:

    Phoneguy – If you look closely, that comment resembles others. Just sayin’. You have tons to offer!

    Jackie – Welcome!

    Sincere & WCSD – Hi handsome(s)!

    Jack – Quick question – you mention one-month arrangements. One didn’t work out, the second is likely to become a BF/GF relationship. Was this your strategy or did it just work out that way? Was she here looking for an arrangement or a boyfriend?

    2Chic- LOVE your moniker! Sooooo glad to see you back! I’m surprised you haven’t found one amazing SD yet. Perhaps we can put in a few screening tools for ya!

  79. Jack says:

    Midwest,

    The first one that “didn’t work out” was clearly and explicitly a “trial arrangment” because I had my doubts about herfrom the get-go (primarily because I perceived her focus to be primarily money, a point on which I was unfortunately proved more than correct).

    The second one, who is flying to Houston to spend a few days with me next weekend, is also a trial arrangement but I feel like there’s a decent chance of it growing into more. Fairly early on in our phone chats, it appeared to me that she was interested in the BF/GF direction. Whether that was in response to my interest in that direction or whether she independently had that intent when she signed up for the site, I do not know. But keep in mind that for me, a BF/BG relationship is laden with sugar anyway, although i wouldn’t normally call it that in a BF/BG relationship. So, at least in my case, I think the lines are somewhat blurred.

    Having said all the above, I don’t know how everything will play out. We plan to do a lot of fun activities (she’s really into golf, a sport I have actually never played but I have the clubs which my exwife bought for me years ago) such as golf, bike riding, nice dinners, a nice play in a community theater, etc., and as the Italians would say, “Que sera, sera.”

    Jack

  80. NYDulce says:

    @ 2chic
    No prob.I think us women SB or not need to work together instead of competing..Im sorry to hear about your divorce.I know how that is…If you want to you can inbox me.About the topic of sex and SDing…Sex is not mandatory it’s optional.It should happen when your comfortable and ready.Theres SD’s out there that are not all about the sex and some Not looking for sex at all…Ive been in several NSA(No Sex Allowed) arrangements. Where the the guy insisted on no sex.If your open to sleeping with your SD or desire an SD/Lover combo there are plenty of Hot Temping men in Sugar Land I’m surprised you haven’t found an attraction.

  81. 2Chic says:

    @NYDulce
    Thanks sweetie. I think us gals should stick together and lift each other up. My divorce is the best thing that has happen for me in a long time.LOL. My ex hates the fact he did not appreciate a good woman :-D. Since I am still adjusting to the newness, I have to pick up my hopes, and dreams to move forward. If a guy wants to sponsor me with no desire for intimacy I have no problem with that, but um…. ;-)
    I am located in S. Orange County CA, where it seems that most of the men prefer the Housewives of OC” look” over the exotic. I have had met some guys where there was a mutual attraction, but they wanted more than I am ready to give at this time. I desire someone who wants to see me excel and willing to assist. Its hard to date when you are struggling, and can’t bring yourself to ask the guy for assistance. He is in it for a relationship, not an arrangement. Thats what I like about this site, guys know their help is needed. But, it’s extremely hard on this site (at least with the guys located in S.Cal).

  82. Mimi says:

    @Phoneguy you are hilarious! I’m trying not to be a cynic, honestly, but oldness is not the thing that attracts young women to this site, and anonymous KNOWS that!
    Also what is so shocking about a Mormon saving himself for marriage? Nothing…except for maybe his age. I know of a lot who get married at such a young age…no relation to experiencing sex, I bet. :eye-roll: But I do respect willpower and long monogamous marriages.
    In my neighborhood I used to see some hot Mormon guys my age on bikes way back when. No way they’re on here, right? Not going to convert but I will gladly listen to their spiel in exchange for pampering. Rich, non-smoking, never drunk, hot– sign me up!
    Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll go check the Utah profiles out. *Fingers crossed*

  83. 2Chic says:

    @MidWest SB It is great to see you hear my dear friend, thank you. Your advice is priceless.

  84. NYDulce says:

    @VAGent
    Thanks for commenting.My first SD whom I had for 3years got me to where I am.He helped me to get out (and stay out) of an abusive relationship and get back on my feet.In that time we developed a true friendship were best friends now.I’m eternally grateful. Nothing wrong with “needing sugar” or being a “super heroe”. As all as everyone is on the same page. Just ladies dont make it Plan A-Z. :)

  85. NYDulce says:

    @VAGent
    Thanks for commenting.My first SD whom I had for 3years got me to where I am.He helped me to get out (and stay out) of an abusive relationship and get back on my feet.In that time we developed a true friendship were best friends now.I’m eternally grateful. We all go through our rough times.Nothing wrong with “needing sugar” or being a “super heroe”. As long as everyone is on the same page. Just ladies dont make it Plan A-Z :)

  86. Latina248 says:

    Brandon, I recently signed up on your website and not one message! I am not sure why

    Any man would not want to respond to my messages either. My question to you is do I have to be a premium member to get inbox mail?

  87. NYDulce says:

    Try aiming for European gents.Especially Italian or Croatian.They LOVE exotic women like us! Lol If you want I can email a few suggestions on Face 2 Face Sding.However I honestly dont feel confident about this online stuff so if anyone has any Online pointers? Thanks

  88. 2Chic says:

    NY Dulce,
    How do I inbox you? Not sure what Face 2 Face Sding is . Its been a while since I have been here, so you guys please fill me in. [img]:-)[/img]

  89. Jeff_NC says:

    One thing that bugged my about the video was that both SB’s made a point of mentioning how their SD had paid for their implants. To me, it made the whole relationship look shallow. But then, I’ve never been a fan of the so-called “enhancements” (unless you are a breast cancer survivor).

  90. Jackie says:

    @NYDulce you are right the European men def. like exotic woman, when i was in Italy 2 years ago i could not go anywhere without being stared at, approached, winked at, blown kisses at from young and old locals. I don’t know what it is!

  91. NYDulce says:

    Lol.Its just a term me and my SB friends use when referring to activities involving an actual or potential SD. Face2Face Sding just refers to f

  92. NYDulce says:

    Lol.Its just a term me and my SB friends use when referring to activities involving an actual or potential SD. Hmmm let’s see if this actually works my profile number is 1031548… You can try reaching me

  93. FLFunSB says:

    Is anyone having trouble with the new layout of the site? I dont like how it doesn’t show their city location. It is super slow on loading and I have a MAC and great internet connection. Just wondering?

  94. ContentSB says:

    @FLFunSB –yup! My phone isn’t loving it and will only load half. Was wondering if I was the only one having issues.

    @VA gentleman — sorry about the confusion! Wrong guy…although I might need to move to VA to find the gentleman lol :)

  95. Brandon Wade says:

    Hello everyone… yes … we just rolled out some new features, and an international site that is in GERMAN, FRENCH and SPANISH. Things will be a little slow as we tweak the site …. but the biggest feature you will see is the BACKGROUND CHECK feature for US-based members. I will be writing a blog to introduce the new feature early next week, so please bear with us as we make some minor adjustments.

  96. Profile Number 1058365 says:

    [img]http://images.seekingarrangement.com/prod/photos/55D668289F6834958B19E14519E0F304YM.jpg[/img]

    I’m new to this sugar baby daddy arrangement and have yet to receive an offer that leads to a long term sugar baby daddy relationship. Any advice (email me) on what I can do to land me some reliable sugar daddies?

  97. Lost on the site says:

    What the heck? You changed the site you can’t see someone’s city????

    What a horrible idea. “New York, United States” is useless. “Buffalo, New York” is a thousand times better.

    Please change it back to showing the city.

    And please add a text search feature.

  98. A Disappointed Daddy says:

    I would encourage you to test the site better before rolling out major changes like this. It has major problems in several browsers, and the new layout lacks information.

    As someone else mentioned, lack of a city is frustrating. Another lost feature is notification that you have replied to an email already. Losing that is terribly frustrating. Yet another problem is that emails no longer have any newline spacing.. so there are no paragraphs and everything jumbles together. It makes it look like i’m illiterate. Not a good step forward.

    And background checking? Seriously? I get that you want to offer the service to people, but you should NOT put right out front “Not Verified”, which makes it seem like we’re hiding something, or that we’re suspicious.

    I have been a longtime paying member of this site, and have a mid-5 digit member ID (that should tell you how long I’ve been here) and I can tell you that I will close my account and never come back if you insist on this kind of unprofessionalism.

  99. anonymous says:

    @Lost on the site – I completely agree. Also, “San Francisco, California” is completely different than “Los Angeles, California” in terms of demographics and even how to approach a sugar daddy. I mean lets be honest, Silicon Valley and Hollywood are two very different and distinct places, so knowing which a member is near is key. Not to mention, some of the SA “hotspots” happen to be in some of the biggest states like New York and California, so the area code really makes the difference in refining a search.

  100. flyr says:

    Running really slow – more cookies?????

    Re Profile 1058365
    “I want $20,000 per month ” is not a profile……………………………….

    Network / Party coverage – with all due respect to the hosts, cooperating with the networks is like doing stunts over the enemy airfield. It may be impressive but it gets you killed. I think I speak for the vast majority here who would like this site to run under the radar.

    No fancy press parties, no TV coverage etc. I also think it is shortsighted to engage in high profile PR activities. Yes you may get more subscribers in the short run but unless you are going public like facebook you may be doing more damage to your long term value.

    There’s a time to run silent run deep……….. continued press coverage just makes the wonderful women here out to be sex merchants which is far from the case. It also brings more pleasure by the hour providers to the site.

    The real SB’s are getting discouraged as you can see from here. When they leave the site implodes.

    The idea of non voluntary verification implies the collection of personal information . It then raises the question of how that data is being monetized .

    By way of background , I have been on and off here for a number of years. I have had some great adventures with special women. I think the site managers are killing the golden goose.

  101. Brandon Wade says:

    @Lost on the site …. those small bugs will be fixed before the end of tonight. So you will be able to see the cities soon.

  102. Brandon Wade says:

    @A Disappointed Daddy … unfortunately, it is soon becoming LAW in many states where we are required to inform users of profiles that are NOT verified. So, we are taking action to abide by these upcoming changes to make the website safer. If a member is not background verified, then everyone viewing his or her profile needs to be informed of that fact — per the new laws that require online dating websites to be safer for the public.

    For more information about such new laws, please feel free to read the following articles:

    State urged to lower risks of online dating

    Illinois Senate Passes Online Dating Background Check Bill

    As for displaying the “NOT VERIFIED” badge, I will review our system and make changes based on feedback from users. So thank you for sharing your views.

  103. Profile Number 1058365 says:

    What I think about the sugar daddy/baby clip above?

    I think most people lost sight of the subject at hand hence the name seeking arrangement. The show mainly feature the two most extreme possibilities. Of course there are middle of the way stories out there. If every circumstances are featured as every possible sugar daddy/baby scenarios we would be watching it in a movie format.

  104. A Disappointed Daddy says:

    Brandon,

    My understanding of all the proposed laws is not that you have to blast in everyones face “NOT VERIFIED”, but rather that you make your verification policies clear on the site. In other words, you have to tell people that by default users are not verified in any way. Not that each and every user must have a bigh “Not Verified” on their profile if they have not submitted to a verification.

    In fact, as far as I can tell, verification is not even a requirement at all. Those laws specifically state this, but that you have to make it clear in your policies that users are not. If you want to add verification, and put a nice big checkmark next to their names, that’s fine with me. But don’t go about it the way you are now.

    I’m also creeped out by the word “Verified”, and I certainly do not have the trust in your verification service as you obviously have.

    I think you are going to have an uphill battle here with the SD’s.

  105. Alicia says:

    Hi everyone…this is my first time posting…just had a few words to say about this topic…

    From my own personal experience- I think the segment shows a couple of different sides of the SB/SD relationships…While I haven’t had any luck finding any SD’s like the ones shown in the segment (which I would LOVE to have), I think that some girls might not be the best example of what a SB is supposed to be. I think i would rather have one SD and know that he is only committed to me – having that “lost and found drawer” really turned me off about the SD..but hey if its mutually agreed that both parties can see other SD/Sb’s then i guess its their own business…also I think I am a more responsible SB because I am a hard worker, who grew up with nothing and I am just sick and tired of guys who want me to take care of them like I have been with my family and my exes- so it’s time for me to be pampered and spoiled…however, if I do have a SD who tells me that I don’t need to work- I will still do it because I want to not because I have to…I think that shows how much a lot of girls in our current society think that looks can buy you everything…which I somewhat agree too…but there’s guys out there who loves smart girls! I am glad to say that I am both. What happens when all these SBs lose their good looks when they get older? How will they survive if they’ve been spoiled for years and don’t know how to have an actual job?

  106. flyr says:

    ……………………….

  107. Alicia says:

    @jeff_NC I totally agree with you. I don’t think a lot of people caught onto that but it makes it looks like us SBs all want that kind of stuff so we would look “better”. I personally don’t like the fake look and one of my SDs actually offered to get me some and I refused the offer because I would never do that to my body.

  108. Alicia says:

    @Ariel I loved your comment! I agree with everything you said!

  109. SD Guru says:

    Lots of interesting discussions in the blog today, and I see that a new hot topic has already been raised! Here’s my detailed review of the Nightline video.

    Despite my initial mixed feelings, I think overall it turned out as well as can be expected given all the issues and constraints discussed before. So kudos to Brandon and Jenn for pulling it off! :)

  110. Brandon Wade says:

    @A Disappointed Daddy …. the “Not Verified” display tag has been removed as per your suggestion.

    Is there anything else we should consider changing to make sure you can go from “A Disappointed Daddy” to “A Very Happy Daddy”?

  111. PhoneGuy says:

    @Mimi,
    Ok, I left part of it out which caused my amusement. How about a Mormon saving himself for marriage, on a sugar site paying an SB an allowance? Does he take her to dinner, order a nice juicy steak and then just sit there and look at it? Then leave the restaurant with the steak untouched on the table? If you are going to pay for steak, you may as well enjoy the steak. ;-)

    So Tommy compared SBs to cars and now I’m comparing them to steak. I’m sure I’m going to get in trouble here. ;-)

  112. PhoneGuy says:

    @Alicia,
    You nailed it. The most tawdry, cheap moment of the entire piece was when Tommy pulls out his lost and found drawer. I can only imagine the producer’s glee when they were going over all the footage and found that gem. It could have only been better (meaning worse) if something salacious was pulled from the drawer. ;-)

    @Brandon, Thanks for putting the cities back in the search results. And thanks for removing the “not verified” badge. I had the same concerns as Disappointed Daddy (although I didn’t feel them as strongly as he did). Always nice to feel like our opinions matter.

  113. FLFunSB says:

    @Brandon As someone already mentioned please put which emails we replied to and the previous correspondence is not in the emails as well. This is causing me to go find the previous emails they wrote. :-/ Thanks!

  114. VA gentleman says:

    Jenn and Brandon–some ideas I’d see as improvements.
    1. In “Distance”, put in a 20-25 mile radius option.
    2. Perhaps have a way of storing SB or SD preferences separate from geograghic area–my SB preference pretty well remain constant, where I’m looking changes by my travel schedule. Kind of a drag having to re-enter all the data every time for each different search.

  115. A Happier Daddy says:

    Brandon,

    Thank you for reconsidering things. I feel a lot better about the changes.

    I would still like to see the Email get fixed. Paragraphs are not retained in emails and it jumbles together. I would also like to see if I have yet to reply to an email (even though it may be read) from the list of emails. I understand the threading makes this obvious, but you have to go into each email to see it.

  116. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Another Canadian SB here on the East Coast. *big wave*

    As per ‘older’ SBs, my age is 39 (give or take ;-) and I don’t find it detrimental at all. I focus on men 50-70 years old. They have lived long enough to appreciate that I have lived longer than 20-30 year olds. Some men that age would be embarrassed to be seen with girls the age of their daughters and younger. If anything is a detriment, it’s my location waaaaaay up here on the east coast of Canada. I have plenty of interest but for the high cost of getting me to them.

    As per success stories, I have been so fortune to have met a SD (in my first week of being on SA) who retired to Maine and feel we will be in each other’s lives always. He loves doting on me and is truly interested in my life, well-being, dreams, goals, mind, body and spirit.

    So hang in there SBs mature and remote. It will happen, and when it does you will know it by the ease of communication and company.

    I really like the way those in the sugar bowl have been using the blog of late. So informative and respectful. Good job!!

    May you all find what you are looking for :-) Hugs from your ‘socialist’ neighbour up north. (congrats on the Affordable Care Act btw ;-))

  117. NYG says:

    VA gent

    is it you ? Or another VA gent.
    Your Lancelot e mail is closed? I tried to e mail you and it is “undelivered”.

  118. NicoleNC says:

    Brandon,
    Will there EVER be a keyword search? As a sugar who can travel, it would be nice to be able to search for someone who is looking for a travel companion.

    And thanks for taking away “Not Verified.” That was creepy to me.

  119. VA gentleman says:

    NYG–I only started posting yesterday, other folks mentioned there was an earlier VA Gent and were shocked at my sudden personality change. I am “VA gentleman”.

  120. sb lady says:

    amazing job described perfectly what the site is about a classy lady and an established gentlemen a match made perfectly as well i would like to thank the brilliant men who have helped me out in my time of need taught me to play golf, let me fly their plain or car, taught me more about business then my B-Comm has lol.

  121. 2Chic says:

    @Brandon
    Since you are revamping the site, is there a way to speed up the photo approval process, and organize the photos you wish to make the main photo. Its a pain having to delete the main photo in order to post a new one, then wait an entire day for the approval. I do not want to delete photos, just to switch up the main, public, and private photos. It would be convenient to drag and drop the order, check public/private, and save… etc.

  122. SD Guru says:

    @VA Gentleman – May I suggest that you use a different moniker to avoid confusion with the original. Maybe something like VAG2… (sorry, it’s an inside joke, but I hope you do come up with a new one). :mrgreen:

  123. Sabrina says:

    Haha okay, so I’m new to the blogs– How do I upload an avatar?

  124. VA gentleman says:

    Will do SD Guru. And there was a t-shirt/bumper sticker going around–Vagina is for Lovers.

  125. Brandon Wade says:

    @2Chic … photo approvals are generally fast, but because of the Nightline coverage, we have been overwhelmed …. I am hiring more administrators to approve photos, but it takes time to find them, hire them and train them! Thank you for your patience.

  126. VASD says:

    Formerly known as VA gentleman…

  127. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Brandon…if administrators can approve remotely….I wouldn’t mind doing it in my off hours :-)

  128. WCSD says:

    @Brandon – One suggestion I have for pictures (this is minor, but should be very simple to fix), if a person has multiple pictures, and I want to see the pictures enlarged, I have to open each one, rather than just clicking one to enlarge it, and then having an arrow to ‘enlarge’ the next one. Your MissTravel site does this…but I’ve always wondered why SA doesn’t do that.

    @Jackie – I’m in BC. Home of the Olympics….

  129. VanillaSugar says:

    Like is it too hard to post a decent pic??? Wtf? Just b/c you say you’re a SD doesn’t give you a pass…Ugh! This site really needs a block feature that disable people not only from messaging you, but looking at your profile also.

  130. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @WCSD and @Jackie – Hello from New Brunswick :-)

  131. Kenneth says:

    @ ALL SUGAR DADDY”S if someone making 120,000 a year wanted to hire me as a “personal assistant” what are the benefit legally they can take making that much? I would do the errands, cleaning, cooking, walking the dogs, financial investments, living in home, schedualing meetings, creating power points, spead sheets, and so much more. I would do this anyway however taxes are hurting her making that much and i wanted to know if I could offer her a tax break claiming a schedual H 1040 and using what i am paid as money to help around the house or something. Any SD or SM lawyers by any chance lol

  132. Midwest SB says:

    Heyyyy sugars!

    I know this is completely off topic, but I’m swimming in a sea of decisions for health care coverage and would love an expert opinion. Anyone available to help?

  133. Mimi says:

    @Brandon I too would love to have an approval administrator job. Seriously, hook me up!

    @PhoneGuy and @Jack on the No premarital sex thing–Olympia and her Mormon beau probably define sex differently. You remember how Bill Clinton didn’t count oral sex as “sexual relations”? Notice how some purity ring wearers opt for anal sex instead? Perhaps that’s exactly what they’re doing– Dry humping, oral, anal, fingering…anything but vaginal sex. Perhaps they are playing some sort of game that doesn’t involve sex, OR they are lying, plain and simple.

    I wonder what they got in exchange for being on this show. I agree with what WCSD said earlier “there really is no benefit for them to be a part of this special.” If they get paid, that money will be gone and this video is out there forever! Fellow broadcasters will look at Olympia with a skeptical stink eye. People respect those who climb their way to the top without having to sleep their way to the top. So lying or not, I can understand why the no-sex revelations are popular on these television segments. Especially from a female point of view.

  134. Jackie says:

    @WCSD and @blue eyed beauty hello, Hope you guys are enjoying your Canada Day Weekend. And happy 4th of July weekend to my American folks! I just want to say a big thank you to all of you. I have read through the comments on this topic and the previous one, and took the advice and suggestions offered. I have landed three potential sds!! I have had more luck in a couple days than in the 4months when i did not put thought into anything. So, now to see who’s serious and who’s not. However, I have a question, how do i go about explaining to a first time sd about the allowance process, without sounding like i’m gonna run off or something, or is there a place i can refer him so he can read or understand arrangements better.

  135. Madison says:

    Brandon, I would suggest a instant message application where we can chat live with people who are online.

  136. Teeny says:

    Has anyone else had an issue with updating profiles taking days and days to approve?

  137. Sweet SB says:

    Brandon, I would suggest an instant message feature on the site where we can chat live with members who are online.

  138. flyr says:

    @ Jackie “is there a place i can refer him so he can read or understand arrangements better.”

    I would send him to the blog or ask him if he is familiar with the process.

    “I have read through the comments on this topic and the previous one, and took the advice and suggestions offered. I have landed three potential sds!! I have had more luck in a couple days than in the 4months when i did not put thought into anything. ”

    That’s a great success story. There’s also the wonderful story of Steve Jobs calling the head of Google on a Sunday morning to tell him Google’s logo was the wrong shade of color but not to worry Jobs had already fixed it for hm on the new Apple product. Details matter.

  139. Midwest SB says:

    Jackie – It’s funny the flyer mentioned inviting him to the blog. My first SD was new to the sugar world, so I invited him here. He absorbed everything and was a wonderful SD and a great friend!

  140. Jasmine says:

    Why can’t I find a guy like this! I have been searching for a SD for over a year now and have had no luck, my friends say it’s because I’m black. I don’t think race has anything to do with it, I just haven’t found a man that likes black girls. Can anyone give me some tips or advice?

  141. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jackie Personally I come out and ask them in due course whether they are a monthly allowance SD. That usually gets them talking. If they hum and haw, I ask them to describe a scenario to make sure we are both on the same page. Because of my remoteness, I’m able to get to know the SDs quite a bit before a meeting can be arranged. However I must say that most conversations just end up petering out. Very few have stuck, with the exception of my current SD; we have been in constant communication since day one. I’m in discussions right now with a potential SD and things are looking promising (but for the distance), but I realize that he may find a more suitable SB at any time. No hard feelings. And I have only met one other SD and immediately realized there would be no chemistry so that mission was aborted during our first meeting. Don’t be afraid to speak up. I just say I don’t think we will make a good match but it was nice meeting you and good luck in finding what you are looking for.

  142. NYDulce says:

    Wow missed a lot of juicy conversation. Just getting home from an SD/SB event.Jackie
    I was raised around Latinos so I find white American men exotic and attractive…But either there not interested, too shy or all about sex….I’m sorry to say But us chics in America are giving it up too easy!! No wonder why we keep running into perverts.Why be a gentlemen when I’m getting what I want without barely trying.These men over here all spoiled with sex.In my country you have to have get family approval just to take a girl on a date.An forget sex or kissing on first date! You have to prove yourself worthy of even a kiss….Most International men I meet love this traditional style of dating.They love the thrill! The chase ! The challenge! The suspense: ” when will I have a kiss? I am dying just to have her! I will do anything just to feel her close” .Whoo talk about Romantic! When will Americas women learn. We have to Train our men to be Gentlemen.

  143. shyone says:

    ok this might seem ridiculous to almost everyone, and dont worry i get it all the time but:
    What if a SB is a virgin, possibly never happened before but what are your views?

  144. flyr says:

    @jasmine a few posts before yours Jackie posted the following , “I have read through the comments on this topic and the previous one, and took the advice and suggestions offered. I have landed three potential sds!! I have had more luck in a couple days than in the 4months when i did not put thought into anything.”

    There are other very successful black SB’s who shared their approach a few blogs back.

  145. shyone says:

    @Sweet SB, no not selling so much as i dont know what to do about it as stupid as it sounds, think it will have much effect on potential SD’s? I have had 3 emails from 3 different SD’s so far but i dont know how to approach the subject

  146. flyr says:

    @ shyone – I would not mention it until you establish that there is VERY real interest, You might just mention that you have not had much of sexual background . That your SD is going to have to be patient to deal with this (your lack of experience) If you feel you have something that makes sense to you I would then share the issue, ask him to realize your needs . My guess is that you will have a very positive reaction if you have the right SD.

    I am sure there are those who would pursue you only for your virginity but once that’s done you are just like the other girls.

    I have had two past girlfriends whose initial sexual experiences were with older men who were mentors before they were lovers. For both it appeared to have been a very positive experience.

    My only advice
    Be sure you want to do this
    Become friends before you make a decision
    Follow midwestSB’s advice

  147. Treasured says:

    @ Sweet SB “Brandon, I would suggest an instant message feature on the site where we can chat live with members who are online.”

    Let’s vote!!! I am IN!!! :D

  148. the one who needs a new blog name says:

    to shyone.

    I would write in profile some hints about your virginity. Subtle, smart hints – may be Midwest can tell you how to write it in English.

    Some guys looking for a great sex with a girl who is experienced and fun in bed.

    And some guys would be super happy with your virginity and pureness.

    Why waste each other time and write, chat, talk, meet up a few times and you are not what he is looking for .
    And vise versa – a guy might be looking so hard for a girl like you, let him find you. :)

    My profile is written to attract a married guy and his 50s. These exact words/ criteria are not in profile but just profile is written the way a married 50 y old would want to message me.

    But many guys (well… I had a lingerie picture as my profile photo) 39-42 y old , single write to me, a few mails , and I do not answer, do not open private pictures . Once I got tired and wrote back – i am not interested, I am looking for a married, 50 something guy, and you are 41 and single. He wrote me back “I am actually 54 and married, I just put this in my profile so I would show up in girls’ search, if I put 54 y old often I would be out of the age range they put in their search …”

    the Q is why?! Waste each other time? there are girls who are happy with his real statistics. And 21 y old girl in whose search he does show up going to meet him and see he is NOT 41 y old and … so on…

  149. Kypris says:

    Hi All, aspiring SB here from a small island in the Caribbean and I wouldn’t mind some advice on my profile #1075826. In perusing some profiles I note where most preferences don’t run to black women which is fine by me, it is after all your preference. Do I need to state that I am open to interracial relationships? As for the piece, I watched with Hugh Hefner in mind :) but it didn’t come off that way to me. I have never been an SB before and I’m looking forward to the experience.

  150. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Kypris I think by not mentioning race at all one presumes you are by default interested in interracial relationships. I could be wrong though.

  151. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    And for those who are not having any luck, because of my remoteness, I wink at all SDs I’m interested in. I know they get hundreds of winks but feel because I put an attractive face picture on my profile, I stand out. Some respond positively but are deterred by my remoteness. What I don’t understand however is why SDs are concerned with my remoteness if what they are looking for is a travel companion. We can fly from different destinations and still be together within a matter of hours.

  152. Kypris says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty..thanks!! I have been reading the blogs …quite informative. I really hope for positive experiences here…off topic but is anyone else anticipating the Olympics as I am *check enthusiasm* :) Can’t wait to see how well our sprinters do this year.

  153. A Happier Daddy says:

    Brandon,

    One other feature I would suggest is to add a search category for “Recently Updated” profiles. What often happens is someone registers but doesn’t give much information or a picture, then several days or even weeks later, updates their profile, adds a picture, adds more pictures, etc.. but this gets largely lost because we can only search by factors like last logged in date or profile created date.

    last logged in helps in this regard, but we wade through a lot of profiles to find any ones with new information.

  154. Jack says:

    To BlueEyed,

    Two thoughts. First, personally, I respond MUCH better to a thoughtful email rather than a wink, even if the woman is attractive (that is a given for me). I really appreciate it when a woman takes the time to respond to specifics in my profile and tell me why she thinks we would be good together. Also, her wit and intelligence have another method of showing themselves–in her email. I do realize it’s much easier to wink that to write a personalized email, and I further realize other guys may care more about your looks than your brain–I am just sharing my perspective on this.

    Second, why are guys concerned with your remoteness? A couple of thoughts. To the extent money is a concern, obviously, your remoteness translates into more money. That isn’t a concern for me, but may be for others. Second–a concern which I do share–is, will I really enjoy traveling with this lady if I have never met her? And do I really want to go to the trouble of meeting her if there is a lot of local availability? Having said that, I have done exactly that with two ladies I have met through SA, so it’s not a deal breaker, but does raise a question.

    To Shyone, your dilemma has really put my brain on overdrive, and despite that, I am still not sure what I would advise, although I probably would be slightly more inclined to suggest you do NOT address the issue in your profile. I am concerned you will attract the wrong kind of guy by declaring your virginity. I also think (or at least, hope) that your virginity doesn’t define who you are (although it is understandable you think it is a pretty big deal).

    If you make a nice connection through SA, I do not think your virginity will be a deal-breaker (or even close to a deal-breaker) once the relationship gets to that point. You may well reveal it before you get to the bedroom–if the topic comes up and you feel comfortable revealing it–or it may only be revealed in the bedroom. Let it be part of the excitement of that process.

    Let me also add that you can learn a lot about having sex before you actually do it. There are tons of online articles on the topic, and I suspect you have a girlfriend or two who wouldn’t mind sharing that info. If you have a guy friend with whom you would be comfortable discussing the topic, you can learn a lot from him as well (if he knows what he is talking about and is comfortable discussing it). Naturally, medical professionals of clinics may assist as well. The bottom line is that the more you know when the exciting moment arrives, the more comfortable you will be, the more enjoyable it will be–and the less relevant will be the fact that you are a virgin.

    The one slight exception to the above is if one of your specific reasons of being here is to lose your virginity. In that case, you may wish to allude to this in your profile, although even then, I would probably say not to–again, it may bring out the wrong crowd.

    Finally, since profiles are easily changed, you could start with one not alluding to virginity and see how it goes and then switch it around if you wish. If the results of the latter are not satisfying, you can always change it back.

    Jack

  155. Jasmine says:

    Profile Number 1072319 Can someone check my profile out??!!

  156. flyr says:

    @blue eyed – Normally I would agree with Jack re the wink vs short note, but in your case for the picture that goes with the wink should be considered unsportsmanlike conduct, not for its graphic nature (of which there is none) but for the magnetic allure.

    I have had both near and far relationships and although travel is relatively easy to arrange, logistics stand in the way of spontaneity . I am big on having scheduled meetings but sometimes it’s great to be able to call or send a text and get together that evening, if it works for both. There’s nothing like finding an unexpected text asking if you have had dessert . For a married SD that flexibility probably does not exist.

    The advantage of distance is that both partners can detach themselves from the rest of their lives for the time they are together. .

  157. Nissy says:

    While I have come across about 5 SD’s on the site…all of which simply wanted to exchange pics, most of the SD on the site are just not into ”Black” girls ( I like to say African American). But my question is “Why is this so?” since it seems like a very common thing. For the record, I am a brown skinned, beautiful and intelligent college SB.:)

  158. flyr says:

    @Nissy

    Unfortunately our most eloquent and expert SB on the subject has gone silent, most likely off the net and basking in the sun on a yacht, again………

  159. Jasmine says:

    @Nissy

    I know what you’re going through! I believe that I am very beautiful, but men just don’t seem to be interested. I’m trying very hard and I think my profile is good, although no one has given me feedback on it.

  160. babydoll says:

    hello all beautiful sugars xxx long time xxx

    it was interesting to watch this footage of the sd/sb interviews and it is also interesting to know that there are really sd’s with eye wtering budgets for sb’s nevermind 6 !!!

    it really showed an aspect of what some arrangements are like and those actually exist like the arrangements showed here but ofcourse hte media are only interested with extreme cases of sugar dating,they are not interested with arrangments of mortal sd/sb relationships,rather of those really high flying sugardaddies who can pay thousands of dollars a month,in our case in London in ££££’s.
    what it didnt say here though is there are arrangements that involves over 30′s and have genuine sd’s that are not gazillionnaires.
    also the arrangements shown here specially the sd with 6 sb’s who can pay them thousands a month each dont come like water but they are very rare indeed.
    also not a lot of sd’s can offer 5k allowanc a month on top of shopping,travel and other expenses!

    this explains why a lot of sb’s takes months and some take years to find the right arrangement.
    but it doesnt also mean that what they showed here is negative, but it is just some arrangements that exist in the sugar world. we have to always consider that we make our own arrangements,
    it doesnt matter what others may think or what opinion they may have about it,IT IS YOUR arrangement that works for you and your sd/sb that works and that maybe fulfilling or comfortable.

    the sb being emotional at the end of the interview just shows that being a sugarbay doesnt mean that we are unemotional or cold girls.but i felt a bit terrible for this baby who felt unhappy because she relies on the bread alone that the sd provides.
    this is where younger and older sb’s divide.
    mature sb’shave been there and done that and most of us didnt have the opporunity to have this kind of lifestyle availbale in our 20′s so we tend to be more able to work getting where we are with no financial help from wealthy men and now more independent,secure and most of us have stable jobs and need sd’s for extra support but not reliant on their sugar alone.

    Va gentleman~i was a bit confused as well,i thought you were one of our blooger VA gent!!

    NYgirl~yoohoo ,no he is not VA gent!

    Sweet SB~ re SHYONE~ to be honest i chuckled reading her post ,then reading your reply!!! it made me laugh but in a good way! remember everyone is different and also we should not judge as we dont know the exact circumstances of each and all but ofcourse we all have our own opinions.but also we have to be careful how we say things and what we say about other bloggers ;)

    ShyONE~ well Sweet Sb is quite right this is a sex site but if you have a unique situation that you think you are unsure on how to say it to pot sd’s, i guess all you need to do is when you exchange a couple emails to any of them and feel comfortable on any,then just mention that you are still a virgin and see where it goes from there ;)

    goodnight all i hope you all have a sugar filled weekend xxxx

  161. NYG says:

    Jack,
    Yes, a Virgin can talk to a medical professional (as you suggest and all your other options ) or just watch porn. I think many young girls and boys do watch porn before first coitus . it is not 18 centure any more… Jack you are such a romantic. .. and you answered my wink, yes? (i believe I did not write any note:)
    R u in Costa Rica? How you r feeling?

  162. NYG says:

    Babydoll
    Just wanted to say HI
    Before you go sleep.:)))

  163. PhoneGuy says:

    @Shyone,
    I wouldn’t put it in my profile…unless you want to auction it, which it sounds like you don’t.
    I probably wouldn’t bring it up until I knew the pot enough that I thought I wanted an arrangement with him.

    @Sweet SB,
    Are you sure you’re Sweet SB? :-P
    OMG, I’m on a sex site?!?! :-O

  164. 2Chic says:

    Brown Shade Sugars:
    Unfortunately it matters with a vast majority of SD on this site. I have been on and off this site and have met few and far.. Some would contact me before my photo’s approved, once its up no reply. In the real world… I have no problem attracting men, I have joined reg dating sites and am overwhelmed with mail. I am not trying to boast or brag, but just being real. I know I have a unique look. Some women whom frequented this blog and viewed my photos have raved about my look. I have become very hesitant about reaching out to guys here, sometimes I ask if they like chocolate. Its sad, but its what we deal with. To me skin shade is just that; a shade. Sorry I do not have a better reply, all I can do is confirm that its a fact here. I pretty much figure the guys whom appreciate my shade and look will contact me. If not… so be it. Either way it will only be a few.

  165. Midwest SB says:

    Evening sugars! I’ve only glanced at the blog and wanted to address shyone’s question about virginity.

    Speaking from personal experience, I wish I had done it differently when I was in your shoes. I don’t want to sound negative, but my first instinctive reaction was that men are either going to think that a) you’re faking it to draw attention b) they don’t want the responsibility of the possible emotional attachment that can come with losing your virginity or c) they get to have a “virtuous” girl potentially free of diseases…not really caring about the significance it has for you. I know it’s harsh, but it’s something you must be prepared to accept. Honestly, I hope you will share this with someone you trust and one who will help make it a positive experience. You lose your virginity once…you’ll have plenty of chances to pursue an intimate sugar relationship after. As flyer said, you could state in your profile that you’re a virgin and wish to build a mentoring relationship before intimacy. It’s a nice approach. I just have a romantic side that hopes you’ll realize that you’ll be grateful if you share this with someone you know better.

    Back to the Super Yacht :-)

  166. Red Blooded Woman says:

    Omg are you kidding me.Don’t you know you can get more out of a man by stroking his ego than strocking his penis.@ Shy one …To be very blunt.I don’t see the issue. I NEVER I repeat NEVER had Sex with any of my Sugardaddies…and yes the allowance was good.Shopping sprees,rent bills paid,travel you name it.
    You attract a man with your body, keep him around with your brain.You meet an SD he has a wife,she has limit free spending card,house cars jewels,she’s in his Will and life insurance.Unimited perks! Chances are wife is not having sex with him.Shes keeping legs closed and getting all the perks.You open your legs and break your back for what?! A few thousand  a month?! all the woman I know living the good life are virtuous  women.Better to be the virgin wife of a Mutlimillionaire than his 5k/month slut. I say keep your legs closed.
    People are more motivated by fear and lacking than by actual accomplishment. Maslows  Hierachy of needs may help explain. In this scenario the woman helps fulfill the mans Social needs and need of belonging through companionship and friendship; meanwhile her presence also  serves as affirmation  that he has indeed achieved his goals satisfying his need for Self-Actualization and increasing Self Esteem.While the man helps the woman fulfill Her desire for Self-Actualization through financial assistance and mentoring……Just be patient there is a quality man out there for you.
    If your gonna give it up might as well get your benefits.Im soo happy you posted.I lost My Virginity late and I know its resisting the temptation but your dignity and Self Esteem are more valuable.Maybe one day SA will be a real SD/SB site and us ladies and gents will have more quality to chose from.Be patient with the site.In terms of your virginity Please wait.I wish I had.  Good Luck Hun .Ok going back to bed :)

  167. SD Guru says:

    @Shyone
    “What if a SB is a virgin, possibly never happened before but what are your views?”

    Based on your question, it sounds like you may not have much experience with relationships. If that’s the case, is it a good idea to have a SD as your first intimate relationship? Some women with lots of relationship experience may find sugar relationships tough to handle, which means it could be even more difficult for someone with less experience. In other words, your odds of having a good experience in the sugar world is probably not that good, not only because you’re a virgin, but mainly due to your lack of experience with relationships.

    @BEB
    “What I don’t understand however is why SDs are concerned with my remoteness if what they are looking for is a travel companion.”

    A remote location could mean fewer flights and longer travel time, as well as higher cost. The cost aside, most SD’s usually choose the path that’s easier and less complicated. A remote location doesn’t help in that regard.

    “We can fly from different destinations and still be together within a matter of hours.”

    Yes, that sounds good in theory, but when you try to do it on an on-going basis all sorts of issues could come up. Think about the frequency of your meetings and how many times you (or both) need to endure the joy (or hassle) of air travel.

  168. JustAThought SD says:

    NYDulce stated “When will Americas women learn. We have to Train our men to be Gentlemen.”

    We also have to Train our women to be Ladies,but don’t expect SD’s to put in a whole lot of effort for that. The SA world is a microcosm and reflection of the relationship world in general. There are “one sb take your time romantic gentlemen” already out there, but the other guys usually get more publicity, and are usually more active in their pursuit. Same idea for “the sb that REALLY understands what I want.” It’s relative to perspective. Everyone has their own concept of what a sb/sd, true gentleman/lady, or real man/woman is. They almost never match up perfectly. So the more expectations/standards you place for your SD, and the fewer expectations/standards you meet of that ideal SD, the longer you should expect to wait,but eventually your paths should cross. Rate x Time = Distance, so know where you want to end up that way you can at least enjoy the ride. If it’s not working out, revamp your expectations or revamp what they should expect from you. It’s your choice. YOUR shared arrangement. Just a thought.

  169. JustAThought SD says:

    @RedBloodedWoman
    There are some people that honestly believe it’s a give and take, emotionally,mentally,financially, and physically. Or they may even believe in love, but your fiscal concept is valid. If I’d been a female I don’t know if I would have had the callousness to never participate in the wholeness of the fairy tale. 99% will try to find it at least once. I hope the guy you did “give it up to” was worth it at the time, now that your body is strictly financial. (I’m sincere and hope you have some good memories of that time. They come in handy.)

    @ShyOne
    I agree with the other posts that say your virginity isn’t a financial tool. If you find that vegas whale that hits all the checkboxes on your list, moves you deeply inside, and puts a ring on your finger then I’m all for it. But if that doesn’t work out, SD’s will be around.

  170. flyr says:

    Note to brandon – The city skyline background on this is distracting , especially in a small format.

  171. NicoleNC says:

    @ Nissy and 2Chic
    The race thing does come up but I’ve known many successful SBs of color. Honey hasn’t been on here in a bit, but she is very successful.

    Personally, I’ve been contacted by several men on the site in the 2 months I’ve been here, met with some, had offers from a few, and am currently in talks with one right now (I just haven’t found the right fit!). For the record, Im about the shade of Gabrielle Union….so not a light skin sistah!

    What I realized early on was that I had to counter any stereotype a Caucasian man would have of a black woman. My pictures are very tasteful/lady like. My profile is grammatically correct (or at least I think it is. LOL), and written in a way that shows I carry myself like a lady and am somewhat cultured. I let them know I can blend (as much as possible) into their world. And I do have a premium membership, which possibly helps me get noticed a little in the searches.

    Surprisingly the older ones are more attracted to me than the under 40 crowd. And Italian men…well, they tend to LOVE black woman…which is why I hate we still can’t do a keyword search (ugh!).

    Personally, I may look at a man’s profile. Might even favorite him. But I take Midwest’s approach and let them come to me 99% of the time…..let’s me know who likes what I have to offer.

    And yes. I’ve seen the profiles that say “no black women.” But I’ve also seen those that wanted a “black princess.” I just don’t take it personally, as it really is no different than a man saying he doesn’t like small breasts, big breasts, short women, tall women….you get the idea.

  172. flyr says:

    @shyone

    Wanted to clarify something and expand

    A – Profile , I would focus on mentor, perhaps mention not as sexually experienced as others here . Trying to stay within the limits of probity, from another era there were many technical virgins with a lot of sexual skills and experience. It’s not clear where you fit in this.

    B – I would ABSOLUTELY not mention virginity in your profile and probably not in an email. Save that for a direct conversation in which you are discussing your goal to have a mentor first. and see how it goes.

    C – Consider Midwest’s comment that you postpone all of this for later and pursue more conventional relationships. Hopefully you will not just be a notch on some college student’s headboard.

    D – The two that I knew whose virginity were “lost” with older men had a real mentor relationship for some time prior to sex . Their partners were very intelligent men 40-55 who genuinely cared for them. They had met in social and business situations. One was a highly regarded, former presidential adviser and the other the head of a prestigious art museum whose wife was slowly dying of MS. Both young women had bloomed late and had been rejected by most of their very visual oriented, breast fixated, peers. The ultimate justice was that they matured in their late 20′s into two stunning women with enduring beauty.

    E It’s not clear if your driving force is financial or looking for the experience. You need to answer the question internally first.

    F. There’s no harm in starting to talk with potential mentor SDs on a very preliminary basis to give yourself some exposure to what’s out there.

    MidwestSB mentioned the issue of health and I think it’s not unreasonable for you to suggest (require) mutual testing before anything happens. However, in my view the most important component of staying healthy is the care with which you choose partners (and the sex acts in which you engage)

  173. flyr says:

    My guess is that whomever did this never tried to use it for a sustained period. It displays a serious disrespect for the user and a lack of sophistication.

    At least the home page is far cleaner , has better contrast and is more legible.
    It is a struggle to get the tiny login space on an iphone.

    Why are they abusing the customers…………………?

  174. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Why doesn’t SA have a mobile app yet?

  175. AnnaMW says:

    @ shyone – My advice? Run, don’t walk, and delete your profile right away. Keep your virginity as far away from this website you can and wait until you find someone that really loves you. Love can happen here, but it’s far less likely and would hate if you were to lose it to some fetishist or weirdo.

    My first SD was only the third guy I slept with. I was also very young. That experience permanently altered my preferences and I haven’t been attracted to boys my age since. At this point, I still haven’t been with many guys, but half of the ones I have were SDs. This probably gives a little more insight to my blog friends as to why “test runs”, “month long arrangements” and “P4P” turn me off to such an extent. For me sex it still special, even with an SD and is reserved for situations where the guy might stick around for a while.

  176. bambola says:

    One thing interesting me alot, Brandon can answer me, or anyone familiar with this situation.

    When I see on someone’s profile it says: ‘last login NOT AVAILABLE – BLOCKED BY MEMBER’

    what does that mean? Is it good idea to have contact with that person?

    Thank you

  177. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Patience on the website bugs. These things take time to work out the kinks. Perhaps a header stating the websites are being upgraded to better serve you….but you may experience some short term technical difficulties.

  178. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    It’s a choice we can all make (not sure what membership level it is included with) in your profile. A person might want to protect that information. The only reason I can think of is to not show how often they are on the site. Not sure why someone would want that though. Perhaps someone else can enlighten me and correct me if I’m wrong as I’m still new ’round these parts. ;-)

  179. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @flyr – ‘Normally I would agree with Jack re the wink vs short note, but in your case for the picture that goes with the wink should be considered unsportsmanlike conduct, not for its graphic nature (of which there is none) but for the magnetic allure.’

    Awwww that’s one of the sweetest things anyone has every said to me. You sure know how to flatter a girl and flattery will get you everywhere :-)

    If anyone wants to personally experience the magnetic allure of my eyes (as well as other attributes), check out profile 997496. ;-)

    Happy Canada Day!!!

  180. Nathan says:

    As a gay sugar baby, looking for a daddy, its hard, they need to interview the gay daddies.
    anyone want me?

  181. A Happier Daddy says:

    Why did the last 3 days worth of comments disappear?

  182. flyr says:

    although someone can suppress their last logon information, a search with the output in latest sign on (rather than newest profiles, the default) will put them in a list where it is pretty easy to figure out the window.

    Thanks to SA for cleaning up the site.

  183. 2Chic says:

    @NicoleNC
    Thank you for your insight and words of encouragement.
    I am from NC, living in Orange County CA, it is a different world, and no where near the high percentage of educated beautiful women of color back home and throughout the east coast. I am college educated, a model, and business woman. My experience on “this” site with SD’s in this area has been disappointing. But sadly it has been so with men out of state as well. I have no problem in social situations, I mingle with all, and have dated some very successful men here, many whom desire a relationship. The problem is not out and about IRL, it is the experience on SA. If you read many of the posts, its quiet common.
    I am not sure if you are in NC now, but my location brings forth a different response. Skin shade can’t be compared to what can be changed such as breast size, weight. Environmental influence affects one’s mentality and behavior. i.e grammar, writing, manners etc. Naught to do with ones skin shade. I do not try to blend in, I am who I am…. classy, elegant, and intelligent. I do not try to “be”, I can only “do me”.
    I believe you attract what you put out, due to cyber dating, guys on SA can only go by visuals. My profile does not entail a depth of info about myself. So its a bit void. My photo is of my face, for I refuse to present myself in a tawdry way.
    Please know I do respect a person’s preference, yet I am will not lie, I am a bit perturbed by the whole of it.
    Yet and still I am hopeful in establishing a successful arrangement. Being that this is the only site I have come across where its spelled out to the T. Congrats to those who have success for it is encouraging.

  184. Jasmine says:

    Ladies check out my blog!

    diary of a sb 2012 dot blogspot dot com

  185. NicoleNC says:

    @2Chic
    I didn’t realize you were in Orange County. Visited once…that was enough for me! CA tends to have one “ideal” type of beauty more than another other place I’ve been.

    And I hope you didn’t think I was saying you didn’t have your “stuff together.” My statements were just general statements.

    You make a good point. Location might have something to do with it….with educated, black women being more appreciated here on the east coast and up north.

    I was a bit surprised that the African-American young lady in the clip had a sugar daddy in Utah!

  186. Sugarplum says:

    Hi, I’m a total newbie. Could someone take a look at my profile and tell me if I totally messed it up by asking too much? I was trying to be specific, but as I read it again it may sound like I’m high maintenance and greedy, neither of which I am.

    Thanks much,

    Sugarplum 1014130

  187. 2Chic says:

    @NicoleNC
    Thanks for the that, I know you were not implying such, just wanted to clarify my position. Glad you have visited OC, its so different. LOL Its quiet a trip! ;-D

  188. flyr says:

    @2Chic

    I think the issue starts with the interests. In the OC there’s much more emphasis on things rather than ideas. If you doubt this look at the valet parking area of any of the good restaurants. Things also include the semi pneumatic blond surfer girl wife or girlfriend, brain often left as an optional extra. Not that there are not bright blond surfer girls behind the OC but they are scarce.

    My guess is that you would be a lot happier in Pasadena, Westwood or even downtown LA. However, the persistent problems of LA include a gang culture in too many areas, a failed school system and the popular music culture which treats black (and white ) women as ho’s.

    I have never looked at the stats but my impression is that there are significantly fewer very well educated black women outside of the universities. Contributing to the problem is that LA lost much of its black middle class over the past 30 years.

  189. flyr says:

    @2Chic and Nicole

    Calif is larger than a half dozen or perhaps full dozen of those little east coast states. Most easterners think of it as 30 million people living in Disneyland.

    The SF Bay area is an entirely different culture. Same for the central coast. In LA I can not ever remember a racially mixed couple in the social section unless it was a sports or movie star. In contrast, up on the central coast where a large military presence brought a lot of intellectual capital and a meritocracy it’s an every day event.

    Now back to our regularly schedule topic

  190. ContentSB says:

    Oooh my goodness! I’ve been on the site for about a year and I had NEVER been harassed until today. An SD (37, lawyer, NYC) sent a few messages back and forth then exchanged numbers for a chat. He drilled me with questions (do you like heels? Dress size? Success on SA? Dating history? Internship experience? Background? Religion?) I answered it all and tried asking him questions only to be drilled more. The call was lost, so I sent him a text that said I was back to studying and to have a good night. He sends a text back that tells me he won’t be calling back at this time because I dominated the convo…what?! Politely responded that I was simply trying to answer all of his questions. He then tells me I have an oral fixation which is why I talk so much, give boring answers, and eat too much and am overweight.

    Uhhhh…..

    I didn’t respond and was then sworn at repeatedly and called many names, all along the lines of fatty.

    LOL. I’m in shock! Number blocked! What a total tool. Makes me appreciate the nice men I’veet SO much more!! So, all of you gentlemen out there, keep it up! We need you around to keep our faith in this process :)

  191. flyr says:

    @Content “He sends a text back that tells me he won’t be calling back at this time because I dominated the convo…”

    reply – “If I can take that as an eternal promise it will be the best thing that’s happened to me today”

  192. ContentSB says:

    @flyr — That would’ve been an awesome reply! Can we rewind about 2 hours so I can use that? :)

  193. flyr says:

    Most likely his regular finally called him back. Consider this your lucky day.

  194. MJ says:

    Hey,
    I am a newbie and not sure if my profile is up to par on what SD’s are looking for. I read the blogs and changed it a lot but still nothing. Could somebody please help me out here?

    MJ Profile #: 1035514. If you have some insight on what I could do to make it better please message me.

    Thanks.

  195. NewParisianSB says:

    Hey i have a qustion, is it normal to exchange email adr right away?

  196. PhillySB says:

    Hello sugars!
    Looks like I have lots to catch up on. I think the new blog look is cute! Haven’t logged in to see the changes on the profiles yet.
    I like the instant messaging idea that Treasured had, or maybe a chat room!

    @ConentSB , sorry you had to deal with such a caveman! I really liked flyr’s response. Hopefully you won’t need to use it in the future. There are some really crazy folks out there!

    So I had the most amazing time with my SD on our little two day trip. It went better than expected. He not only treats me like a lady but makes me feel like a million bucks. Of course I enjoyed the shopping but he’s so fun to be around and so protective at the same time. I enjoyed giving him attention too. A girl can definitely get used to this :D
    The only thing that bothered me was the extra attention we got at dinner. We sat quietly in the corner and chatted while waiting for our food. My seat was facing a table where 2 older couples were dining and I noticed them giving us dirty looks soon after we sat down. I’m used to people staring every time I’m accompanied by an older gentleman in public, but had never experienced this and didn;t know quite how to handle it. One of the women in particular kept shaking her frowny smelling a fart face at me, while she sipped on her cup of hot water (seriously, wtf , hot water in 100 degree weather?) with her pinky in the air. It got a little loud in there but I was able to make out a few words in their convo like “mercenary princess and cheating bastard”.. It really killed the mood!! What surprised me most is that SD was not bothered by this one bit,and went on eating and talking enthusiastically like there was no on there.. I wondered if he just doesn’t care or if his hearing isn’t what it used to be lol but didn’t want to spoil his dinner too so I didn’t ask him.
    Everyone at the hotel, mall, bars etc.. was so nice to us and we made friends everywhere we went. I except that some people will be offended by us holding hands in public ( I imagined my own parents.gahh) but these people were really rude and made me feel very uncomfortable. I have pretty thick skin but I’ll be honest I kinda wanted to run to the bathroom and cry.
    Any advice on how to deal with a situation like this? I hope it doesn’t happen again but I want to be prepared if it does. Do I give dirty looks back? Do I just pretend not to notice? Should I walk over there and say something or leave the restaurant and go somewhere else?
    I would love to hear about any of your stories too. Thanks in advance!

  197. NC Gent says:

    Hi all – saw something hilarious yesterday that I had to share. I was at a resort area in my state and noticed an attractive 20-something in a VW convertible beetle at the stop sign in front of me. Then for some reason I noticed the license plate… BUG4SB — actually laughed out loud, but by the time I got my cell to take a pic, she was gone – too funny — someone is proud of the car and the lifestyle :)

  198. Sue says:

    Philly: When people give you dirty looks, ignore it. These women are just jealous of you.

  199. Jack says:

    This has very little to do with this blog–or maybe it does? The author owns two dogs–one with three legs, and one with two. I tried to post the pic here but it wouldn’t post. PhillySB–point 1 may be relevant to your recent experience with people staring and commenting. Sounds like your SD has already had his “dog” training. My own two pups would agree–ignore the folks. I know that is easier said than done.

    The title of the article is–Lessons I’ve Learned From My 2- and 3-Legged Dogs

    Posted: 06/28/2012 7:42 am

    Two special guys are in my life: my dogs, Festus and Cyrus. Festus is a three-legged pit bull/Rottweiler. Cyrus is a tiny terrier born without front legs. Both dogs have been trained and certified as therapy dogs, and they volunteer and visit patients in hospitals each week. These dogs are my greatest teachers. Here are some of the simple lessons that I have learned from them:

    1.Be Yourself. Festus has an unusual gait. Cyrus uses a wheeled cart to walk. People stare and point at them wherever they go, as if they were freaks in a circus. But being different is not something that the dogs recognize or care about. If someone gawks, it does not affect them in any way. These dogs are perfect as they are. They do not care what other people think of them.

    2.Slow Down. Although the dogs can go almost anywhere, it takes them a bit longer to get there. When I walk with them, I have learned to slow my pace and to enjoy the journey. If I focus on the destination, I ignore my surroundings and can miss so much. If we get there five or ten minutes late, no one really minds and I feel less anxious.

    3.Let Nothing Stop You. When Festus was trapped on the streets as a stray puppy, he chewed off his own right front paw to free himself (a full surgical amputation followed, once he was found). He also lost a toe on his left leg, lost part of his ear, had pneumonia and an upper respiratory infection. Grisly, yes, but the point here is that, once he was healed, he never looked back. He lives “in the moment.” His past has no effect on the present.

    4.Be Happy. On a daily basis, I hear “Oh, poor thing!” or “How sad!” when people see my dogs. There is nothing remotely sad about them. Festus wears a collar that reads “Be Happy Be Happy Be Happy” and he will gladly give you a kiss/lick upon meeting you. Cyrus walks about in his cart with his tail wagging giddily. If they could understand, they would be baffled as to why people would define them as poor or sad.

    5.Treat People Equally. Dogs do not discriminate. No matter who they meet, they treat everyone the same: male, female, young, old, black, white, gay, straight, sick, healthy, Democrat, Republican, Christian, Muslim, tall, short, round, thin, poor, wealthy, one-legged, two-legged, doctor, patient, the guy that cleans the floors. If a dog is fearful or aggressive toward any particular type of person, that is learned behavior. My dogs treat everyone with respect and, in return, they receive attention and love almost everywhere they go.

    6.Engage With Your World. When my dogs visit a patient in the hospital, they sit patiently to be petted, they look into the patient’s eyes, and they are not distracted. I find it increasingly difficult to find people who will act the same way nowadays. People are focused on checking phones, email, texts and tweets. They cannot sit still and have a conversation with the people right in front of them. I have learned that life can be more fulfilling if you are “present” when you meet other people and engage with them without distraction.

    7.Do Not Feel Sorry for Yourself. Festus and Cyrus do not lament their lack of limbs. They focus on what they do have and take full advantage of what they were given.

    8.Sleep More. Walking takes extra effort for these dogs and, after a shift of visiting, they sleep deeply and contentedly. We may find it difficult to stop and rejuvenate in our fast-paced world, but they do not have this problem. Sufficient sleep is essential.

    9.Live in the Moment. I know, I stated this in a different section. But, you read that earlier. Since this — now – is the moment that you are in, the message bears repeating.

    10.Nurses Have Treats. This advice is not for human beings. If you are a dog, listen up: Nurses always have dog treats hidden somewhere and will hand them over freely. Nurses are incredibly caring, hard-working people who give of themselves selflessly. These men and women are vital parts of our health care system and are underpaid and under-appreciated. But Festus and Cyrus love them especially!

  200. Mimi says:

    I actually like the city background layout. It’s better than the gray background and drab static white background in the past. It’s hipper now. It’s obvious that not many members like change, but it’s going to take some getting used to.
    I like the idea of having a “viewed” description next to profiles you’ve already viewed. Also, Blocked members should be unable to view your profile again, not even find you in a search. I would like to chat live with online members as well.

    @every brown woman on here- we’d probably have more luck in Europe. Can you imagine a European guy jumping over his local girls for you in America? What an ego boost! Don’t hold your breath though.
    Comparing race preferences to breast size preferences is laughable. Especially given the video showing how those can easily be “fixed.” Given the stats of SDs on this site, I’m more surprised that Olympia found an African American SD than a Caucasian SD in Utah.
    If you don’t mention race in your headline or a flavor (chocolate, caramel) like so many unoriginal headlines do, you’re more apt to attract the guys who don’t fetishize your label and may be genuinely curious about you. There is an advanced search box that can either include or exclude your race so it could be pointless to mention it when your Ethnicity/photo already gives itself away to those who could care less. The only exception is if you’re mixed/other as that could mean anything (mention what you’re mixed with). Besides the men who mention their racial preferences, a lot of men don’t really like to talk about race, and if they do they’d feel more comfortable venting about it to one of their own.
    Finding a REAL SD is rare, but not impossible. Good luck!

  201. PhoneGuy says:

    Red Blooded Woman
    >You open your legs and break your back for what?!
    How exactly are you having sex if you’re breaking your back? ;-)
    Seriously, if you are so jaded about all this maybe the sugar bowl is not for you. Maybe no relationships are for you. You wish you were a wife of a rich guy but not having sex with him? Let me tell you, he probably hates his wife. And why all this talk about choosing between your dignity and having sex? It sounds like you have a very negative view of sex. How about have sex when you want to with whom you wish and not worry about all the things around it?

    PhilllySB,
    Do whatever makes you feel good when people stare or make comments. I would ignore him like your SD did. I don’t care what other idiots think. The important things is you and your SD are on the same page. If you bring it up with him and react together it could be a bonding experience for you. Maybe together you will choose to share some deep kisses to freak out the uptight crowd. Whereas if you don’t say anything and act alone it could make your date uncomfortable (maybe he would get embarrassed if you got up and confronted the old farts on your own).

    @ContentSB, sorry you had to deal with the alpha-jerk.

    @SweetSB, Where’d you go? We were having such a nice talk. ;-)

  202. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    PhIlly.

    I never feel embarrassed in public with any of my guys. I smile and glow! and look at my guy with adoration.
    I was thinking … may be I have this complex ” the Beauty and the beast” LOL, seriously .

    if you remember my D SD (I was in love) 59 y old and very dark skin. I am 37 and light skin. We would go The core club, other fancy places , I met his friends… I was SO proud to be with him! the first week we went out everyday for lunch/dinner/breakfast when other people would look at us with some strange face expressions – I would smile, look at him with adoration, stroke his neck or something… Show these people you are Enjoying ! his company and genuinely happy! (well I was happy). Not only he is a very successful businessman , He has his charity foundations, opened a few orphanages , has 3 presidential awards ….
    how could I not to admired him.

    Philly if you feel bad about been seen with him (even sometimes ) may be you are not in peace with yourself to be with him? I do not know how you feel . just my thoughts.

    And these older couples in the restaurant – who knows, may be one of their GF’ husband just left her for a young girl, so they were really negative about younger girls this week. :)

  203. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    I like the new blog look EXCEPT! on this Manhattan skyline the TWINS are still on. makes me sad every time.

  204. FLFunSB says:

    @Content SB it must be a New York thing!!! LOL I chatted with a pot from NY and I was so excited about speaking with him because we have alot in common. During our chat my son asked me to make him lunch (#1 I normally NEVER speak to a SD when my son is around because my son asks to many questions). I asked him if I could call him back in about 5-10mins, he said Yes. Well after 8 minutes I received texts from him saying I must be to busy (Umm yes I am because my son will always take priority). Well after us going back and forth on text, I thought everything was fine and he was over it (stupid me for ignoring the 1st sign of a potentially horrible relationship lol) nope it wasnt. I texted him that if he called from 4-5:30 I would be at the gym so I wont have my phone, his reply “Yea, right whatever”. Ugh, I was so crushed, I was so excited about this one! Welp, still searching lol.

  205. PhillySB says:

    Aww the dog story was sweet! Guess we could all learn something from the pups.

    Loved the Beetle girl with the funny license plate too. If my SD bought me a car I’d probably try to come up with something clever like that too , of course I’d be proud!

    PhoneGuy, I like your advice. Thanks for the great idea :D I might deep throat him next time that happens..will probably end up having the place to ourselves. Hahaa

    I did ask him today if he had noticed those people during dinner and he hadn’t! He was surprised I was so bothered by it and reassured me that they’re the ones with the problem not us. It was kind of sweet how he reacted and I did feel the bonding experience :D

    Sugary sweet dreams to everyone!

  206. Jasmine says:

    So I was talking to this guy an after I told him about myself, he started talking about sex right away! Does he only want pay for play? How do I get rid of him?

  207. PhillySB says:

    FLfunSB, been there done that. I’ve had conversations where I thought everything went great and couldn’t wait for the next one. only to find out he was completely turned off and didn’t want to hear back from me.. I too felt crushed, confused and started to lose hope. Let me tell you right now, let go of the negativity! His loss. Move on and don’t bring any negative energy when you talk to the next guy. You WILL eventually meet your perfect match. Good luck!

  208. PhillySB says:

    Jasmine, NEXT HIM. The more time and energy you waste on people like him the less you have to find exactly what you’re looking for. If you get any red flags don’t feel doubtful or guilty, thank him and move on to the next pot.

  209. Jackie says:

    Hey everyone, excuse my disappearance, been at work all day. To the subject of race in sd dating. Yes, it can be difficult, I’m a brown skinned girl so I understand. However, I believe the big thing is put effort into your profile, also when sending a email make sure you have read their profile prior to sending a message. Yes, sometimes we sbs have to be aggressive and grab what we want. Don’t always wait for emails to come to you. For example, I sent an sd an email when I saw his profile. I read his detailed profile at least four times before I sent the email. In my message to him, I was detailed and outlined exactly what I liked about his profile, what we shared in common and how having me around would truly benefit him. I sent it, and he responded. After speaking to him on the phone , I don’t think he even prefers dealing with “black girls” or ethnic woman, but he stated he replied to my email because the message was so good. I nailed everything in it, and it left him intrigued to know more. He also said that he gets flooded with mail and it stood out from the rest. Therefore, stand out from the rest.

    Also I agree, that because of personal preferences you may not get by just on your looks and body. You must present your self as classy, honest, intelligent, and witty because some sds are looking for that too.
    Like I said I scored 3 potential sds in a short period of time when I changed my approach. The key is get them to notice you, then weed them out. I’m now excited about 1 sd, who if our face to face meeting goes as well as our phone convos, i’ll have no need to keep my profile here. Anyways, good luck y’all.

  210. Ican_d says:

    Hi guys/fellow sugars haha,
    I’m new to the site about four days now, I think. Been keeping a low profile-that is hiding, until my profile update goes through (which is taking a while). I have been spending this whole time reading the blogs researching this whole thing (interesting sociological phenomenon here). Anyway, you guys have been all helpful and I am excited about joining this community of intellectuals. I love me an interesting discourse.

    Could I get some tips or feedback on my profile (though it is being updated)?

    Thanks guys.

  211. Ican_d says:

    Oh I forgot to post my number :-). 1072041

  212. Jasmine says:

    @PhillySB

    Thank you!! On to the next!

  213. FLFunSB says:

    @PhillySB Girl no negativity over here, I dont do that. Did I sound negative? I was just crushed because he had something I wanted more than ever. Money could never buy what he had and what I want. Sigh.

    @ NY Gent That girl has some balls LOL. My 1st SD bought me my car that I have now and I could never publicize how I got it (what a great man, I will forever be in debt to him for all he did for me and taught me). My friends wonder how I drive a nice car, that’s hard enough explaining. LOL

    @Jasmine sounds like a John, a true SD knows it takes time. We all know what this site is about you dont have to explain it or ask about it. UNLESS, he is into a fetish.

  214. the one who needs a new blog name says:

  215. NYG says:

    Dear Midwest. :)
    I changed my nick name since I am not NYG any more:)
    Since it is same e mail the site does not let me post ? Or I am blocked ? Not bad behavior :) am I too boring or too kinky :) ?

  216. SD Guru says:

    As everyone has noticed, the SA site and the blog are undergoing some updates so please be patient as the kinks are being worked out.

    @A Happier Daddy
    “Why did the last 3 days worth of comments disappear?

    As far as I can tell comments from the last 3 days are still here.

    @ContentSB & PhillySB

    I’m sorry to hear about your experience. Remember you can’t control what other people say or do, you can only control how you react and respond to them. Don’t let rude people like that get to you and waste your time.

  217. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    Guru.
    I am happy to hear you are “working out on the kinks” :) I will unpack my black leather corset and the red long sexy gloves.

  218. 2Chic says:

    Also… I recently joined another site. So far, I have been invited to Vegas for the holiday by a POT, who seems too horny (I declined) , I will be meeting with another this week I shot another SD down, he proposition me with the idea of him training me to be very submissive, move in with him, and be his. He is so good looking, and owns an empire, as tempting as the perks are, I can not bring myself to accept such an offer. My question for the blog… when a guy desires a submissive female, what does it all entail. Every time I here the word “submissive” I think of pain.

  219. FLFunSB says:

    @SDGuru Finally watched the True Life of a SB, nice post. I see Tommy is on both, Hmmmmmm. MTV’s true life was horrendous and those SB’s ruin it for the true SB.

  220. Treasured says:

    2Chic – Google “Dominant/Submissive” :)
    Or, read a book “50 shades of grey” ;)

    Submissiveness is not ALL about the pain. It is about obeying your Dominant. In whatever way he desires. And, obviously, if you do not obey, you get punished.

  221. Nissy says:

    @NicoleNC

    Yes, I get the idea. I have also taken that route…Maybe you can check out my profile??

  222. SD Guru says:

    @I LoveWestCoast Girl – Actually I’m not working on the kinks, but I’ll be happy to work on yours! :mrgreen:

    @FLFunSB – Thanks for reading my blog! It didn’t occur to me that it’s the same Tommy on MTV a year ago until you mentioned it. Good catch! He must be the stereotypical SD that the producers are looking for.

  223. Jasmine says:

    Please ladies check out my blog!

    diary of a sb 2012 dot blogspot dot com

  224. Red Blooded Woman says:

    Phone Guy,Thoughtful SD & SHYONE
    I’m at work reading this and I’m laughing my buns off!
    most of what I wrote was Specifically for a Virgin like Shyone..I was not suggesting she become one of those wives who Don’t have sex with their husbands.Im saying don’t become the SB that he cheats on his wife with.Instead either A.Be like me and with patience find an arrangement that doesn’t require sex or B. Date a millionaire and become his virgin wife.
    SHYONE… try the sister site SeekingMillionaire.com for guys looking for real relationship that might be better 4 u. If you chose to lose it before marriage it should at least be be within a serious relationship.

  225. flyr says:

    @Philly

    Consider that what’s really going on is that the women feel terribly threatened. Their husbands could get (are getting) interested in much younger women, your SD looks veeery happy and like you have been having incredible sex.
    .
    It makes them insecure and so they attack.

    They are looking at you – attractive, being very nice to him and having the effect of 500 viagra tabs all at once. Savor your silent victory.

    One instant solution is to simply ask your SD to switch chairs.

    I have some sensitivity to bringing younger SB to my house only in that it does make some wonderful neighbors a little uncomfortable, but most just accept that it me being me.

  226. PhoneGuy says:

    @RBW,
    I’ve never looked for a sexless relationship on SA. To me, they are like Bigfoot. I hear about them all the time but I’ve never seen one. ;-)
    And the last advice I would give is to make a difficult process more difficult.

    I hope Shyone comes back and fills in some blanks because what she wants to do with her virginity is all that really matters. The fact that she is on this site tells me it is not some dainty gift she wants to give to her husband.

    Although I liked Midwest’s advice I think I’m going to go all contrarian and women’s lib here. I think your virginity is something that is made too much about, talked about too much and focused on too much. And you would probably be better off not giving any more importance to your criteria for your first partner than your second or third partner (assuming you are an adult).

    There, that ought to stir up something. ;-)

  227. Lucifer says:

    I’am interested in African men, who are from Africa. Is there a possibility of getting to know any because they’re great in romance, and very gentle.

  228. NewParisianSB says:

    Was I the only one who thought that I was SO cute when the SD was holding the pink earrings and saying: Thes with a pair of heels, great outfit! lol

    The thing with Olympia saying that it is a dream suger relationship that ther is no sex… I would find it a bit strange to be dating a man for a long time and never being intimit, is that just me?

  229. NicoleNC says:

    @Nissy. Sure I can check out your profile. Are you comfortable posting your profile #?

  230. isabelle says:

    hey everyone im pretty new here but not the whole SD/SB scene..i love older men(and women) but i got to say ive noticed that there isnt a huge “demand” for black girls on this site.I thought to send emails and not just wait for mohammed to come to the mountain..if you get what i mean.Ive tried to tweak my profile but im not getting anywhere and although i only got one reply it was good because the SD that i contacted said the age gap was too wide.Which left me confused because i thought that shouldnt really be a problem.can you have a look at my profile and give some advice please.
    my profile is 1074889

  231. Kia says:

    I joined this website after the segment on Nightline. I have had luck in being contacted but haven’t yet made an arrangement. Also I noticed a lot of SD complimenting African American women but confessing that they would never date one. I understand to each it’s own but I feel it’s harder for women of color to obtain a SD.

    :(

  232. TXJesiLove says:

    *Profile Number 1009167*

    I could use some helpful advice from the blog SD’s and the successful SB’s.

    I love this blog. Everyone is so open and honest, and hearing about ex-sugars is very intriguing.

  233. TXJesiLove says:

    Blog gods, I posted my picture via gravatar…. when should I expect it to show up on the blog?

  234. TXJesiLove says:

    Please disregard my last post.

  235. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    A lot of girls write here about the skin color / been African- American. i think any white girl has the same experience – some guys e mail and then disappeare after. pictures exchange, or do not call after the first introductory meeting, or disappear after the first intimate time…. should I blame it on my white skin color too?

    it is so convenient to have an excuse to blame your race … not your personal qualities or sexual performance/skills.

    As I wrote before as soon as Vl. Doronin breaks up with Naomi Campbell and starts to date me – you have the right to complain about your skin color.

  236. SB in Montreal says:

    My 2 cents for ShyOne

    I think you would have better chances to find someone who cares about your virginity by looking for an older man than for a young one. So, for that, I think you are doing well of looking for an sd. Yet, take care and take your time. Older doesn’t always equals to more respectful, more caring, more patient and wiser, In general, yes, but not always. So be patient and be careful to your little heart.

  237. Ican_d says:

    I have to say this topic of not liking African-American, is getting old and quite annoying. As a new member and someone of African descent from the Caribbean, I was not aware of or even conscious of this until coming to the blogs and this lack of confidence is making women of African descent look bad, propagated by by blacks against themselves. I happen not to share this view and is unaware of this in my personal life. I’ve dated a lot out of my race and the men I’ve dated most times weren’t pro-any specific race. I have my preferences in dating and respect others preferences too and frankly I wouldn’t take rejection as being a result of my ethnic background, I always think it is could be a number of other things (people stop poisoning my mind to think otherwise!). While it is true that some persons may be hung up on race, if you don’t acknowledge it, you can most times turn it around in a positive way (by changing how you think and react and having an open mind) and instead encourage curiosity to find out what makes you a special and individual human being. That said.I have been getting positive feedbacks since I opened my profile and if by chance I come across an ignorant person, that is just what it is-an ignorant person, who will remain so no matter what race I am.
    Peace &love

  238. Mimi says:

    @ilovewestcoastgirl Do these men say flat out “I don’t date [insert your race here]” If not, stfu you have no idea what they’re talking about. If your race never crosses your mind as a hindrance, good for you! But to say that race has nothing to do with it some (not all) of the time is a crock of spit.

    @SeekingArrangement @Brandon did you guys take note of my tips in the earlier comment? Did you? So quick to say “they’re not paid actors” in a PR move but no reply about blocked members ever since. Where are you?

  239. Ican_d says:

    For heavens sake, stop saying these things (you know yourselves) before you start convincing others that there is any truth to these lies! A quote from John F. Kennedy says, “no matter how big the lie; repeat it often enough and the masses will regard it as the truth”, even Adolp hitler mastered this- “But the most brilliant propagandist technique will yield no success unless one fundamental principle is borne in mind constantly and with unflagging attention. It must confine itself to a few points and repeat them over and over. Here, as so often in this world, persistence is the first and most important requirement for success.” and my favourite philosopher Fredrich Neitzche said, ” what is truth, but a lie agreed upon”. Let’s not start agreeing.

  240. Kia says:

    Since you are new to the site, you will observe that SD write in their profiles that they prefer Caucasian women. It’s written pretty clear as day. I am very confident! Outside of this website I have dated men & women outside of my race. But that isn’t the issue is it?

  241. TexasSB says:

    Hey!
    A little update.

    So I finally met the guy I had been talking to for 5 months. We hung out for about a week and then he had to leave. Not sure when I’ll see him again. He always says he’s busy. But he treats me like his gf but idk if I can do this long distance business. I thnk we have great chemistry and I like being in his company, however, he never offered to give me an allowance. I didn’t bring it up. I was hoping he’d do that. Maybe he thought I didn’t need it since I already work…i did tell him that I hated my job though. Still didn’t suggest anything for me.
    He is also kind of cheap.
    So I’m going to look for someone new while still being with him, is that wrong? Should I tell him? I don’t want to wreck things with him

  242. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    Mimi
    I like you r strait forward and honest.

    Yes, I saw a few profiles “no prostitutes, no fakes, no Russians ” I do not take it personal at all. I think I am very unique and can not be stigmatized . and some profile “looking for a girl from Eastern Europe only”. everyone has his/her own preferences .
    More over – the fun part, after my SD first time talk via phone with me he wrote ” your English is so bad, pls admit someone wrote the profile for you coz it is written in a very literature like English… admit you are a prostitute and I do not need a quickly …” was fun for me. yes, I am with him now :) amazing !!! guy. and this first misunderstanding bond us even better. :)
    and I so hope he does not read the blog.

  243. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    TexasSB.
    Did you have sex with him for a week?
    It is not clear from your post.

  244. TexasSB says:

    Yeah I did.

  245. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    you had great connection and sex with him for a week and he did not give you any financing support or presents , and did not even talk about this financial aspect – you met at this site (not at match, e harmony ) he DISRESPECTED you and your relationship and the fact that you met at this site! he used and abused you and this site.
    My opinion. of course many will disagree .

    What u r afraid to “wreck” with him? you want to be abused more? u r so not self confident you are just happy that he wanted to have sex with you?
    Do us a favor – post his real first and last name at fake SD blog.

  246. TexasSB says:

    He took me out and paid for all of our activities. He probably spent $500 on me.

    Maybe he thought that was all that was needed?

  247. MAsugarandspice says:

    Hey, I’m newer to this and was wondering if you guys could check out my profile… I’ve met someone and I’ve regularly talked to a few people but I can’t seem to get anyone to really commit to an arrangement with me. Not quite sure what I’m doing wrong. Or if anyone does see this and they’re interested, feel free to message me :) !

  248. MAsugarandspice says:

    Oh and my profile number is #969318 ! Thanks in advance!

  249. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    Omg, he spent this money on HIM, his meals and his activities ! Not on you.
    He needed a companionship to spend his time and have fun.

    if a guy take me to a French restaurant and spent $500 in there – he spent this money only on himself! I did not ask him to take me in there (I always ask a guy to pick a place, I want to see his style and not to be blamed if the place is not good) and he ate more food and he wanted to drink his fav expensive wine . Pls do not consider you spent it on me, I was a fun and beautiful (deep cleavage) company for your meal.
    If you give me spa/beauty salon gift card for me – then you spent it on me.

    He spent Nothing on you. otherwise he would be lonely and bored doing these activities by himself.
    TexasSB R u very young ?

  250. SD Guru says:

    @TexasSB

    Perhaps you need to take a step back and look at what happened more objectively. Here’s a summary:

    - You talked to a guy for 5 months and then finally met him (by the way, is this the same guy that wanted to stay at your place?).
    - You hang out for a week, had sex, and he spent about 500.
    - There was not talk of arrangement or allowance.
    - You enjoyed his company but called him “cheap”.
    - You’re not sure when you’ll see him again because he’s always busy.

    Did I miss anything?

    Let’s look at it this way… if you wanted an older boyfriend with no benefits, then mission accomplished. If you wanted a genuine SD, then consider what happened as a learning experience and keep looking. You started asking about this guy a month ago, and I’m a bit puzzled as to why you still end up in the situation you described despite all the great advice you received from the blog. :roll:

  251. Jackie says:

    @TexasSB I have to agree with the others, run,skip,jog away because this person does not sound like an arrangement or allowance will ever be possible in the future. However, you should not be afraid to tell him clearly what you want and if he leaves so be it. I find with sd/sb relationships or in the “real dating world” if you can’t be honest with who you are with because you don’t want them to go anywhere then its not the person for you. I think you need to sit down and know exactly what your looking for on this site and stick to it. If sds come along and there are not on the same page as you, you have to learn to cut them off, and move on.

    P.S how come I can’t search many of the sb profiles who post their number, I want to help but it always says not found. what the heck!

  252. Grasshopper says:

    @Jackie – Click to view your own profile, click on address bar and exchange YOUR profile # for theirs – That should do the trick.

  253. FLYR says:

    There are areas where we can share wisdom, areas where we can offer suggestions, areas where we can offer encouragement and areas where we can burn vast amounts of or time and energy on that which is none of the above

    My take on a considerable amount of discussion re racial dating

    The reality is that a number of white men are not pursuing black women

    The further reality is that responses to all SB are sporadic as you would expect when the odds are 10:1

    Black SB’s whose profiles sparkle with quality, character and intellect attract and keep a number of white SD’s , The distinguishing characteristics are the key to success.

    Unfortunately the image of too many young black women has been irreparably harmed by the entertainment industry through rap, too many of the movies and the promotion of the gangsta image. In addition to these image issues there’s a strong message that all women are disposable sex objects. Hopefully this is changing, but unfortunately it is at a glacial pace.

    Beyond that the cultural environment of the community will also impact the probability of success.

    So much for the heavy stuff for an early AM

    .

  254. FLYR says:

    continued

    There are hundreds of suggestions on here regarding profiles in general, think of them as conversations from great hunters sitting around the campfire discussing their successes (and failures) Probably 80% of the comments are good and others may be good in specific situations.

    One small example that needs no explanation was a young SB’s picture with a guy in the background pulling on his pants. More common is the need to dress and write in the message has resonance with your target audience.

  255. FLFunSB says:

    CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON AFRICAN AMERICAN SB’S NOT GETTING A RESPONSE. MY BEST FRIEND IS BLACK AND SHE IS DOING PRETTY WELL ON HERE.

    I LAUGHED TODAY WHEN THIS SD EMAILED. AFRICAN AMERICAN SB’S THIS MAN IS LOOKING FOR YOU PLEASE EMAIL HIM —->223619

  256. Icand_i says:

    Anderson Cooper finally confirmed what most suspected Love him just the same :-). Is there anyone who secretly hoped otherwise?

  257. Mimi says:

    All right subject changed!
    Interesting factoids: Can you believe some SDs aren’t okay with being more than twice an SB’s age? aagghh! I always thought being young was an advantage. Most of the men on here are lying about their age anyway (I have met with one who was 10 years older than his listed age). The younger men on this site treat this site as if it’s any other dating site.
    A guy who lists his budget as less than $1000/month is probably looked at the same way as a woman who lists her budget as $20,000 a month– with hesitancy. Open-Amount Negotiable leaves an air of mystery, but cheap men will also use such a budget label.
    Men who own their own business apparently feel free enough to dress like garbage-men in the middle of the day.

  258. Midwest SB says:

    Ladies – I hate to say this so bluntly as it’s typically not my style. However, here is the bottom line…

    DON’T EXPECT AN ALLOWANCE IF YOU CANNOT OR WILL NOT DISCUSS WHAT YOU NEED AND HOW IT WILL HELP YOU REACH YOUR GOALS. Period!

    Men don’t take subtle hints. In some ways this is a business agreement in that you discuss your needs, he discusses his, and you reach middle ground. If you can’t talk about it, don’t be disappointed when it doesn’t come up.

    So many of you write about your disappointments when you never set the proper expectations. Some of you are spending your money, traveling on your dime and putting yourself into precarious situations without even knowing if you’re talking with a man who can help you reach your goals. Hoping will get you nowhere. Actions will get you everywhere.

    Sorry for the yelling, but I worry about you as if you were family and get so frustrated when I know you could be making better choices.

    Rant over.

    TexasSB – If you want a gift daddy, he may be your guy. If not, move on.

  259. 2Chic says:

    Well, I met with a POT yesterday. It was quiet refreshing to meet a fella I was attracted to. Since I met him on another SD site, allowance was not discussed. So far only SA has this specifically spelled out. I have had few contact me on this site, but I am not stressing or lacking attention elsewhere.

    @ILWest Coast Girl,,… regardless of what ones says…. until you walk in another persons neighborhood wearing his/her shoes regarding race, sexual preferences, religion, or economic status, plead the fifth.

    Now I will “try” to digress.

  260. Arcadia SB says:

    Hope everyone is having a great summer and gearing up for a fun 4th of July!

    I’m visiting family in the states, which meant I had a week with no internet. So I have a lot of blog to catch up on, but I just wanted to say hello before I jump into the conversation.

    I will say I thought the spot on Nightline was surprisingly positive…though the SBs they show on TV always make me feel short, fat, and ugly ;) However, we’re slowly edging away from “everyone on that site is a prostitute” so that’s good.

  261. TexasSB says:

    It’s hard to ask him. Because I feel like he gets irritated when I ask questions. I know this is all my fault too.How do I bring it up? I’m just afraid of him getting mad and not wanting me anymore. I felt so lucky cause he was so young, a millionaire, from LA, not married, no kids and attractive

  262. Midwest SB says:

    TexasSB – I’m afraid you either bite the bullet and say something like “I had a great time this week, but feel like we didn’t reach an understanding about why we met on an arrangement site” or you can be his TexasGF. If he’s into you, he will want to make sure it’s mutually beneficial. If not, he is no longer wasting your time.

    I’m not in the best moods y’all, so please forgive my bluntness.

  263. HoneyBee says:

    Sometimes I get overwhelmed, and just hope that one day I run across the luck of the IRISH! lol.. I know lame right? I look just as good as these chicks, if not better, and for whatever reason I just can’t catch any FISH! It gets so discouraging at times when I see chicks like this getting celebrity treatment. It’s not a jealous statement, becuase I definitely applaud these girls on one hand and then on the second hand I 2nd guess myself like what am I doing wrong. Until next time…

  264. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @TexasSB – Oh honey, if you feel he gets irritated when you ask questions, afraid of getting him mad, he’s not the right one. Trust me, a good SD would never be irritated with you just for asking questions and never make you feel afraid. Cut your losses, learn from your mistakes, and move on. He sounds like trash to me.

  265. AnnaMW says:

    When you block someone are they unable to see your profile? Also, do they know that they are blocked from contact?

  266. SideTrack says:

    Texas… move on with your life. This guy is a playah.

  267. AnnaMW says:

    @ Texas – This guy sounds awful…. If there is a huge income discrepancy and he doesn’t offer to help, he’s probably kind of a jerk. If you were to pick the perfect guy spend a week of your life with in the absence of money, would he be the guy? I think not. You’re not getting anything out of this emotionally or materially. I suggest strongly that you follow everyone elses advice, cut your losses and move on.

  268. PhoneGuy says:

    @AnnaMW,
    No, they can still see you. In fact they may not even know they are blocked until they go to email and get the message. Been there. ;-)

  269. TexasSB says:

    @ AnnaMW

    “If there is a huge income discrepancy and he doesn’t offer to help, he’s probably kind of a jerk.”

    Really? hmm well I guess that makes sense. Can u elaborate?

  270. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    TexasSB.
    If he is a young handsome millionaire for real and you r happy he choose you to have sex with for a week and you feel happy and lucky – it is all good for you;
    But you feel he was cheap and did not give you any gifts. and he gets irritated !!! when you ask any Qs? Seriously? he is a jerk.

    He wanted to stay in your apt, he spent only $500 ” on you ” a week – u r sure he is a millionaire and not the driver of a millionaire ? what do google and wiki say?
    He left and probably never will call you or see you again (it took 5 months to meet him for the first time).

  271. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    To yelling Midwest. :)

    “do not expect allowances/ gifts if you did not discus it before hands (well… Not hands:) ” stuff.
    is there any exception?
    I am not comfortable discussing money, I think it kills “the romance” for the guy. If he talks first about financial aspect I can answer but if he does not bring it up, I usually do not bring it up too.

    I am understandable about not to kill it for him at the beginning , so he should be understandable to $$$appreciate it after. ? ? since we met here ! not on match or IRL.?

  272. NewParisianSB says:

    Midwest thanks for the, as I loveWestCost said: yelling! It sounds like logick.

    But do you have any tips on how to bring up the topic??? How do you girls do that?

    Oh and if a sb contacts you, should you then bring up the €€€ expectations in the first mail?

    I have had to SD contact me but without really saying anything… what dos most SD expect from the first feedback? I don’t wanna ask to many questions or talk to much about myself.

    And do anybody know how to see the other SB living in Paris?

    If I bows similar profiles it’s only SB living in the US and I assume that there is a difreens?

    And do anyone know how many SB ther exist in France? Just “bonne pour savoir” ;-)

    Merci

  273. Jackie says:

    Hey, so some sbs posted their profile #’s for others to look at. Now i’m trying to give my honest opinion on some of them so don’t come after me lol. 1st- sbs have to be realistic, if you want a 10,000-20,000 monthly allowance i’m sorry you will have to really show why someone will spend that much on you in a month compared to equally intelligent and beautiful girls who demand much less. Please do not expect a response quickly with that monthly allowance.It may take months, years, maybe never. 2nd some sds here may be looking for more than just physical appearance, however the physical appearance aspect is important too. Make sure you pick your profile picture wisely, one that is flattering. Show them you can clean up well, and that sds can take you anyway and you will hold your own. Also have at least one full body picture, dressed nicely. 3rd describe why an sd should pick you, and spend his hard earned money on you. This site is full of sbs compared to sds, its like applying for a job, put your best foot forward. Now doing these things is not a sure thing for success but at least you will stand a better chance. And even after you get an email or an response its still a lot of hard work esp. if your trying to find a gentleman willing to be around to pamper and spoil you for years. Anyways, there has been a lot of people who have mentioned these same tips as well. Use the blog as a resource.
    And thanx @ Grasshopper

  274. prettylittlething says:

    @TexasSB and @Ilovewestcoastgirl – I’m no seasoned pro here, only been an SB for less than 2 months, but I found what I wanted. To me that’s the key – it’s easy to feel bogged down after all the jerks, posers, scumbags, etc. But I told myself everyday – DO NOT SETTLE. I don’t actually need the extra income, because I have a job. That enabled me to be very picky. If you’re not in the same situation as I am, then I understand you might be in a predicament there…but still, don’t pursue with Mr. $500 guy because you don’t feel like you have anyone else right now.

    ***As to when to bring up the allowance part***, some of the pots I talked to would ask my expectations right away, some would wait. For an initial meet, if you both live in the same area, I would just consider it a regular date, a get to know you session. If you seem to like each other, and he’s a REAL sugar daddy, there should be no problem in asking him casually in the middle or toward the end, “So, what kind of arrangement are you looking for?” He should ask you what your needs are, and you can go from there. Normally they want p4p, or a flat $ amount based on a general number of meets per month. In negotiations, don’t low-ball yourself, but don’t make it sky-high either. I set my allowance based on my basic monthly living expenses, and told the SD that the money I got from him will mostly be going to savings and student loan debt.

    Honestly, I would write down what you need financially and out of a relationship like this (how often do you want to see him, do you want to be friends, do you want a career mentor? etc.). And if he doesn’t fit those basic requirements, move on. You’re worth more than that.

    @TexasSB – he gets irritated when you ask questions? And you met him via SA, I presume? Guy’s a freeloader and honestly sounds like he’s not that into you or a complete poser. I would say walk away, stop contacting him. I know it’s hard. He’ll either move on too, which means he was just using you, or he’ll come running back, wondering where you went. Then you’re in a great position to tell him what you want and need financially. Either way, you ultimately win because you now you know your value.

    Hope that helps…also, dunno if anyone’s mentioned it yet, but check out http://fakesugardaddys.blogspot.com for fake/dangerous SDs.

    I have a blog too with FAQs and how I found my SD at http://sugarhighblog.com. Best of luck to you all – and remember NOT TO SETTLE! kisses

  275. HoneyBee says:

    I want to be like Olympia when I grow up lol.. 8) Seriously! She gives me comfort after viewing this. To be a Baby of Shade as @2Chic it gets harder every second competing with the average BLONDE HAIR, BLUE EYED, BUBBLY SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. It almost makes me question when does publicity really matter? Is it when you’re gawked at for having the audacity to date such a young woman or having the audacity to date a young woman of a different shade?… Responses are requested 8)

  276. flyr says:

    @honeyB “Sometimes I get overwhelmed, and just hope that one day I run across the luck of the IRISH! lol.. I know lame right? I look just as good as these chicks, if not better, and for whatever reason I just can’t catch any FISH! It gets so discouraging at times when I see chicks like this getting celebrity treatment. It’s not a jealous statement, becuase I definitely applaud these girls on one hand and then on the second hand I 2nd guess myself like what am I doing wrong. Until next time…”

    Just because you saw it on TV don’t accept it as true.

  277. stacey says:

    just joint this site because i heard of the income verifier hope it works out for me. sugardaddie dot come is ok but too may fakes or needy guys on there.

  278. NEWSB says:

    I am a brand new SB.

    I hadn’t even thought about taking this route until I hit rock bottom financially.
    Now its all I can do not to think about when I will met my SB, hopefully soon.
    I have had many great convos with SD’s on the site. But none of them have the lifestyle/support that I need. I want to jump in at the top and I’m sure I can if i take the time to find the perfect one.

    But, the most successful one I have met wants me to move into his 4 story flat.
    Relocating scares me.
    But I guess its worth it?

  279. HoneyBee says:

    @FLYR thats easy for you to say..but who doesnt watch tv and believe it?! lol..i just happen to be a lil bit oder than the average teenage girl..but thanks for the response sweetie

  280. flyr says:

    @honeyBee
    I think you will find that there are exceptional “older” women here who do attract and find success with good SD’s . One noted that she “budgeted” meeting 50 already screened potentials (coffee) and. was about half way through the process when she found her SD. That’s a daunting task even for Wonderwoman.

    Success comes from chance, preparation and hard work. If you read some of the blogs from the last 3 weeks you’ll see a lot of discussion about profiles and the importance of both the words and the pictures.

    @newSB
    “I hadn’t even thought about taking this route until I hit rock bottom financially.” “I want to jump in at the top and I’m sure I can if i take the time to find the perfect one. ”

    If you are only here because you hit rock bottom financially perhaps you should not be here. There is a lot more to the functional SB SD relationship than just sex and money.

    There’s also a pretty high mortality rate among new relationships and the probability of them lasting longer than a year is not great. Although the odds here are better it has some lottery like characteristics. You can improve the odds. The objective is not to simply initiate the relationship but to initiate a durable relationship if financial security with one SD is your goal. Regardless of what you do there is still a substantial mortality rate for reasons beyond your control.

    It is also rumored that some SD’s resemble politicians in that not all promises will be realized after the votes are cast.

  281. HoneyBee says:

    @FLYR..I totally agree. The success stories is what gives me the courage to keep on trying. I’ve been an SB before so it’s nothing new to me..I feel that if i take the time to write an email, whether your interested or not, its courtesy to respond and say so..especially when we can clearly see that you read it. If you would like to check out my profile you can give me your pro # and I can inbox you.
    But nothing about it screams GOLD DIGGER, MONEY HUNGRY.or being HIGH MAINTENCE like majority of these girls. Believe me when I’m on here I’m giving it all I can, but realisticly sometimes my words don’t match my skin shade and people don’t want to take that risk. But as well as @2Chic I have no problem at any social event with ANYBODY no matter the race, but here thats the 2nd thing that conquers all..
    I update my profile as often as I can with new CLASSY pictures and update the content..Perfect example..I wrote a guy a message yesterday afternoon in reference to his entire profile to the very end to where it stated that he is NOT accepting any AA girls at the time. My friend created a profile and sent the guy a 2 sentence email nothing to do with his profile, and she is AA but a lighter complexion and he responded right back. So I’m sure maybe one day I will be successful, but right now I guess it just isnt my time. But I DEFINITELY appreciate the feedback EVERY TIME so DONT STOP 8)

  282. JustAThought SD says:

    @Honeybee
    You can’t win them all. To me, SB selection is a combination of requirements that are usually on my list, weighted by how high something is on the list, and then tempered by how I may be feeling about any particular thing that day. Translation: you just never know what’s going on in the murky little mind of the SD selection process. I’ve read profiles that are just awesome, and interesting, only to find that same profile just not my cup of tea a few days later.

    I won’t ignore the fact that color does come into play. However, since it’s the factor that most of us cant change, you just have put your best foot forward, and keep going.(Or you could change your requirements/tactics/etc)

  283. JustAThought SD says:

    @Honeybee
    Also, how will the SD’s reading this blog know of the phenomenal female you speak of if we don’t know your profile number?

  284. flyr says:

    @NewParisian “If I bows similar profiles it’s only SB living in the US and I assume that there is a difreens?

    And do anyone know how many SB ther exist in France? Just “bonne pour savoir” ”

    A very quick search came up with 200+ in Paris but my guess is that if I knew my French geography better there would be a lot more. Of course these are just SB listed on SA. Surprising number with American / English backgrounds.

  285. HoneyBee says:

    @JustAThoughtSD

    I know I can’t win them all, as I don’t try to. I’ll take minority over majority any day. They tend to stick out more.

    I don’t see how a mood could determine so. If I’m having a good day or a bad day..I give it my all because I definitely don’t want to choose someone Monday and then regret it
    Tuesday. That’s not fair to that individual who may have had many other options they may have turned down becuase of my “possible final offer.”

    Again, as I stated before I don’t set OUTRAGEOUS standards because 85% SD’s here will set the LOWEST standards, but provide HIGH QUALITY and (generally speaking) I definitely don’t want to miss that opportunity because I my profile says I want 3k-5k a month while his says open amount…Those be the ones that take you to paradise and you won’t ever know because you didn’t give them a chance. While on the other hand I will not message someone BOASTFUL because at the end of the day no matter $ amount being given and received, I cannot be bought.

    I would love to blast my profile # here in this blog, however, I don’t request EVERYONE’S critism so if you would like or if yu feel more comfortable you can definitely post yours and I can send you a PERSONAL email ;-). As well as the WONDERFUL SD’s who would like to know who I am can simply @HoneyBee with their profile # and I will message. 8-)

    Love the FEEDBACK…DONT STOP 8)

  286. LingerieModel says:

    Are there many from the UK? If not are many SD’s on here willing to travel.. Just a thought x

  287. ChocolateIvy says:

    @HoneyBee,

    As a well-educated, very attractive, chocolate-colored SB I can totally relate to your frustration. It is utterly disappointing to be counted-out based on your race or skin-complexion. It is becoming rare, but there are still a few men who blatantly have no interest in any AA woman at all. So what? A preference is one thing, a comment like that in a profile is a signal that said person has deeper issues…you just saved yourself ALOT of time and energy. If you were blonde and blue-eyed, you might not have even thought twice of it! Think of it as a weeding mechanism. Your chances of finding an SD who is progressive, open-minded and appreciative of all types of beauty just multiplied. Dust your shoulders off see that there are many men who see your exotic beauty as a MAJOR asset. Stay positive! Do not second guess yourself.

  288. LingerieModel says:

    agree with @chocolateivy been a SB before but new to seeking arrangement, profiles CLEARLY stating which race they don’t like is over the top, ‘not my type’ is sufficient, i’m hot but not for everyone, doesn’t effect me until like you said they seem to have underlying issues, see it as ‘dodged that bullet!’ lol

  289. FLFunSB says:

    AND here we go again LOL. Where’s Madison when we need her :-/ LMAO

  290. LingerieModel says:

    UK daddies have a glance.. Will add more photo’s soon x 1089162

  291. Ebony Venus says:

    Hello i’m new here,as far as posting on the blog. I too am a young African American woman,who aspires to have a degree in broadcasting despite my endeavors of a music career I have already started to embark on. This is very refreshing to see another similar woman,who like me, is very well cultured and having success as a SB. So I am keeping hope alive that I meet my special daddy soon!

  292. I LoveWestCoast Girl says:

    AA girls , have you ever asked guys why they would not date AA girl?

    I am Russian – so some guys tell me that Russian girls are connected to mafia and they are prostitutes or gold diggers , so they do not want to date a Russian girl. I do not get upset. if they are so close minded and affected by stigmas … I do not want to change them.

    And I did ask one SD (white tall American ) if he dates AA girls – he said he never been with AA girl coz ! they Smell different.
    Who knows … everyone has his own opinion .

  293. ChocolateIvy says:

    @I LoveWestCoast Girl

    That comment by that tall white SD does not help the situation…how does a group of people “smell differently” as a collective…especially a group of people who come from all different countries, eat different types of foods and wear different clothes from one another…that gets to the physicality of the black woman and suggesting that she is someone “odd” compared to all other women, who smell alike.Its based in ignorance and a certain amount of racism. Russian chicks being connected to the mafia is also an offensive over-generalization, no doubt, but it doesn’t somehow attack your essence as a woman.

  294. ContentSB says:

    Ohhhh boy. Anyone else think the only appropriate response right now is a giant #facepalm?!

  295. flyr says:

    Hopefully we’ll not take the dickhead comment of one SD to be representative of a problem that infects the population. In a perfect world our sa keepers would send him back to barnyardfriends.com ore simple exterminate his profile.

    At the risk of raising havoc I would also point out that the SB who sets her financial threshold at $5,000 eliminates most all of those who grow her food, build her homes, fight her fires, protect her from criminals on dark nights and fight her wars around the globe. .

  296. ChocolateIvy says:

    @flyr

    1) I totally agree. If I thought it was an epidemic, I’d undoubtedly have pulled my profile. Hopefully it is a very few and hopefully SA gets rid of these type of profiles/folks.

    2) The SB may be seriously limiting her chances by asking for 5,000, but there are equally restrictive men on this site who are looking for runway models and are eliminating many women who they might have a fantastic connection with. At the end of the day, everyone has the right to ask for what they THINK they want.

  297. LatinaSugarB says:

    I enjoyed this segment by fast one of the best I’ve seen

    I have to start by saying I’m very new to this site as well as being a sb I’m starting this journey to see if I can find a serious man who can show me the finer side of life I look up to sd’s I could only hope for the opportunity to meet one who can help mentor me to be just as successful a successful man it’s a turn on nothing better than a working man I came here to ask for some advice and constructive criticism please sd’s and sb’s take the time out and check out my profile and let me know what you think

    Profile# 1087324

  298. lingeriemodel says:

    @ilovewestcoast that was so irrelevant, heard worse about Russians but don’t feel the need to quote it, loosen up people ignore the ignorant & do your own thing! xx

  299. flyr says:

    @texasSB “It’s hard to ask him. Because I feel like he gets irritated when I ask questions.” (from a week ago)

    It’s a form of manipulation and an art form in LA.

    But in a greater sense, if someone gets irritated when you ask questions at reasonable times) excluding during sex) they are looking for a pet, slave or someone whom they can take advantage of.

  300. MissD says:

    The game of sb/sd dating is hard in general and even harder at times when your “colored”. It’s just tough because your competing with a lot of girls. Plus, some of these sds are really shallow and since they are giving away their hard earned money, they have the right to indulge in who they want.
    I’m a chocolate girl but I have found a great pot sd/friend on SA.
    Now, I believe I posted my success story with revamping my profile, and getting the courage to write some sds under my previous screen name Jackie. In my situation it was my profile, my messages, luck, maybe location, and my personality that has now won my pot sd over. His a white business man who’s 13 years older than me. His never been married and no kids.However, we are completely on the same page. It’s still new, but his a man that appreciates a good woman period. So, ladies ignore the ignorant sds and comments.
    Also sometimes sd/sb dating is a waiting game, you need patience and sometimes luck to find the right sd for you. I have been on the site for awhile, but really started trying for 2 months now. I also have been waiting three weeks to meet my sd in person, which we have finally arranged a meeting this week. So, there’s a lot of patience needed.
    Don’t give up, ladies!!

  301. JustAThought SD says:

    Once again, we all need to remind ourselves that SA in the U.S. is still a smaller version of relationships in the U.S. in general. You’ll still run into racism. You’ll still run into fakes,punks,cheaters,beaters,pervs,creeps, and the dreaded “sex offender.” On that same note, you may find that OMG-where-have-you-been-all-my-life-SD(or boyfriend.) The one that’s EXACTLY what you’re looking for. Some of you are looking for a 1 in 10000 guy or even worse. Expect to wait, but keep pushing for it.

    Specifically, ladies of color,(AA’s,russians,etc) color may or may not be a dealbreaker for some SD’s. I hope this isn’t your first relationship with White american males (or females if that’s your thing.) You non-WhiteAmerican ladies that are go-getters,that have eliminated most of the stereotypes that push some of these guys away, and are at the top of your game in their eyes will definitely get more guys (White guys and in general.) Think about it for just one second. How many of you sb’s would be willing to go after an Iraqi SD, with several skull tattoos,5’9″,satanist, 400 lbs, 100k ann.,100k net worth,living in the smallest town in Montana,open/negotiable allowance, that doesn’t like to travel? I realize this would be an extreme case, but how many attributes of this guy would I have to change for you to read through his 6 paragraph profile?

  302. JustAThought SD says:

    @ChocolateIvy
    “At the end of the day, everyone has the right to ask for what they THINK they want.”

    It is true that many SD’s are very restrictive in what they want. We are outnumbered 10-to-1 on paper, probably 25-to-1 in acceptable SD’s,and 2500-to-1 in SD’s that would pay 5k allowance. Good SD’s may not TRY to take advantage of this fact, but we CAN be very selective. Why do you think Tommy has 7 sb’s? Because he can. And at 10-to-1, he’s still 3 short of doing his full share. What I’m saying is that, SD’s can be lazier, fatter, and uglier compared to our peers. (So can the fakes.)

    Since, I love the marketing and business angle, how many new profiles do most SB’s review in a day? How many of those do they contact? How many of them really have the general attributes of the quality of SD they want to attract? How many understand that it is harder with words and pics but the pool is bigger?

    “Define your product, identify your market, create excitement, close the deal.”(I borrowed this quote from Flyr’s post)

  303. ChocolateIvy says:

    Yes both sides actually CAN be very selective was my point exactly. Whether or not it makes smart “business sense” is quite another thing. As a grad student/SB, though, I can understand the incentive for waiting for the proverbial “big fish”, as I would rather be with one awesome SD than others who don’t fulfill my needs. In my little silly brain, the odds are in my favor and I have the luxury of time and no urgency. I guess some SBs may define their market as the “Neiman Marcus” of SDs, and thus their approach just needs to be that much different. If he can have it, I sure as hell can. I’d rather screw that and hit up Burger King where the SD just let’s me have it my way :) Corny, but true!

  304. Latinasugarb says:

    I have to start by saying I’m very new to this site as well as being a sb I’m starting this journey to see if I can find a serious man who can show me the finer side of life I look up to sd’s I could only hope for the opportunity to meet one who can help mentor me to be just as successful a successful man it’s a turn on nothing better than a working man I came here to ask for some advice and constructive criticism please sd’s and sb’s take the time out and check out my profile and let me know what you think

    Profile# 1087324

    i changed my profile a few days agao but for some reason it hasnt been approved yet but what i changed it to was:

    “I’m Puerto Rican & Cuban (I’m in New York City) I don’t like to brag (not that much anyway: D) so I’m not going to talk too much about myself. I’m a Scorpio. I have various interests and hobbies: clubbing, music, socialising, dinning, movies, TV shows, dancing, football & lots more. I like to keep an open-mind, and I’m very eager to learn and discover new things. I did a lot of crazy things (fun things, that is) in my life, and I enjoy having fun, as any girl of my age. I have a great sense of adventure and discovering. I’m currently want to further my education, studying Music Business or become a RN Nurse, and I come from a good, well-educated family. I believe in trying everything once (twice, if I like it). I can be goofy, play around, and laugh a lot, but at the same time I can have a serious conversation and be a good listener. I also have a passion for tattoos, I have 8 of them and I want more and I’m proud of them. Huge Playboy fan. Yes, I do have a lot of great qualities but the best thing to do here is to exchange some emails, see if we both are looking for the same things, talk a bit, then meet and see how things go from there. I have dreams, ambitions and aspirations. I’ve always worked hard and I feel its my turn to experience the finer things that life has to offer.”

    i would greatly appreciate it if one of the beautiful SB here can help me out

  305. HoneyBee says:

    @ChocolateIvy I would HONESTLY rather that the individual state that in their profile of what their RACE and DISTANT preference. I would NOT be offended at all.. It doesn’t have to be in a rude way but it needs to be somewhere in there. It really grinds my gears to view these profiles that DON’T state ANY PREFERENCE and I spend time writing a GENUINE email and they DON’T have the COMMON COURTESY to even write back at all, or if they do its distance, etc.. I may have mistyped that about the second guessing..Not as in low self esteem because I’m beautiful as hell. What I mean by..example..you have two girls..everything is IDENTICAL about them, personality, character, etc..but one has a lighter skin complexion..no matter the actual race.. they would chose or offer more to the girl of the lighter skin complexion than the girl with the darker skin complexion. I’m just saying that discourages many SB’s. a general statement and at one point I was one of them, but I just got over it and keep doing what I do.

  306. HoneyBee says:

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl That is disrespectful as hell. I dare not ask anybody why they don’t prefer a certain race. That’s not my concern. My concern is STATE THAT in your PROFILE or RESPOND in a TACTFUL way and say that you don’t. If they tell you that about your race you should be borderline swearing that they had the nerve to even address you in such a manner… Please don’t get me started on the comment about “smelling different” because that alone almost made me jump out of my character, but that’s foolishness that I do not wish to entertain..P.S. for the record a certain race “smelling different” is not an opinion by far.

  307. HoneyBee says:

    @ MissD I DEFINITELY agree about is being EXTREMELY hard, but I would have preferred “darker complexion” over “colored” because there are many races that are of a darker complexion. Colored just reads to me the one of the many racist names for AA. Also agree with the hard earned money factor. My thing is spend 6k of “HARD EARNED” money on a new pair of boobs that if you drop her anyday now she will not be able to keep up the maintenance rather than someone who is trying to further their education. Just my little opinion though.
    I love playing the waiting game. It lets me know how serious you are about pursuing a relationship with me as I am you.
    Congrats!

  308. HoneyBee says:

    @ JustAThought SD I LOVE your insight on things! . You are so POSITIVE for us other complexions, shall I say. It’s NOT my first time dating a Caucasian or any race of a lighter complexion. I honestly love to date them and in the modern unsugary life attract them all time. .. I can HONESTLY say I would be willing to go after ANY SD to my requirements as long as he is willing to go that extra mile for me. If you think we can make it work from ANYWHERE you live and YOU DON’T LIKE TO TRAVEL, then what the hell, I DO ! So let’s COMPROMISE as ANY relationship and make the most of it and have a GREAT time doing it. AGAIN, that just MY little opinion. I honestly feel the more detailed the profile the better opportunity you feel in knowing them BEFORE even messaging them. Rather than the typical “ fun, spontaneous girl who likes to be spoiled”..That’s so general! Every girl is going to respond because they feel that’s her! When you could simply say I PREFER “ causcasians, Hispanic, etc ONLY within so &so miles of blah blah…etc” You get the picture and you wont get so many NON-APPLICANTS wasting your time or their. Just my opinion

  309. HoneyBee says:

    @ChocolateIvy Hell take me to McDs because you LOVE to see ME smile! 8)..lol.. I get that!

  310. HoneyBee says:

    @Latinasb..SB’s can’t look up each other by profile hon….You are contradicting yourself by saying that you don’t like to brag “but not that much anyway”. It’s ok to be boastful, but SD’s want genuine girls who DOES NOT think they are too good for them, otherswise, why would you be on the site. PLEASE REWORD with the “I did a lot of crazy things (fun things, that is)”..that is a SCARY STATEMENT to SUBTLE SD’s and you may attract the WRONG kind (aka TIMEWASTERS). REWORD: “I also have a passion for tattoos, I have 8 of them and I want more and I’m proud of them.” It SCREAMS tattoo model. SD’s want “unmarked” or just want to NOT be VISIBLE during certain occasions. REMOVE! “Huge Playboy fan” think playboy and what kind of MEN it attracts.. 85%+ are NOT SD’s…REWORD “I’ve always worked hard and I feel its my turn to experience the finer things that life has to offer.” ..it screams like you feel you are ENTITLED to.

    Hope I helped!

  311. Miss D says:

    @ honey Bee, I do apologize for the use of the word “coloured”, and if it made anyone uncomfortable that was not my intention. I was referring to all races who do not have “white skin”, dark and light. And I understand how annoying it is, when these men throw their money on crap ie boobs. However, to me there are the ones I don’t care to have any interaction with anyways. You appear to be a strong, smart, and independent woman, your find the right one for you in time.

  312. HoneyBee says:

    @MissD No! It didnt offend me at all, I was just speaking in general, it’s mind-tricking to separate those kind though. Thanks! I surely hope so!

  313. Nicole says:

    I feel I am not pretty enough to have a wonderful SD. I have been on this site for 3 years and havent met a SOUL off of here…

    Please ladies and gentleman, Am I pretty enough? Here is my profile number.

    Profile NUmber:569210

    Do I really have to look like a model to have a SD that can spoil me and guide me in the right direction?

  314. HoneyBee says:

    @Nicole…SB’s cant look up each other, but what I can tell you from what you wrote is get your self-esteem up honey! You are pretty whether the next person thinks you are unattractive. If you think like that, people will treat you llike that. Looks is not ALL that matters when trying to attract the SD of your dreams honey. No you do not have to look like a model.

  315. TexasSB says:

    My two cents here:

    I found the ABC segment to be quite alarming and didn’t come away from it with a positive feeling.
    Also I’d never be with a guy who had 5 other girls. Eff that. That’s asking for a disease. Plus that’s just gross to me. I wouldn’t even do it if he had just one other girl besides me.
    That girl’s really pretty. Monty. She could have been a model and made money from that

  316. JustAThought SD says:

    @Honeybee
    I don’t see a problem with leaving out a race selection. You never know when you will just be THEOMGSB (My phrase, I said it first.) You may have that special look that just clicks something great in their brain. You keep writing to the guys that don’t have a specified race requirement and show them that quality comes in ALL colors. BTW, sometimes it IS distance, and sometimes SD’s ARE too lazy/overwhelmed/disinterested to write back.

    @Honeybee and @ILoveWestCoastGirl
    I cannot see a problem with asking why someone doesn’t like your race if they specifically tell you they don’t like your race/nationality. I believe I’m older than both of you, and I think I’ve heard just about all of the slurs/myths/stereotypes. And they copy from races to nationalities to religions to cultures whatever. It’s not always strictly that person’s fault. Sometimes people fall right into one stereotype even if they are completely opposite to all the others. As humans sometimes it’s easier to believe a lie than to convince yourself of the truth. If the guy would have said he heard she had a tail like a monkey, that would have been easy to correct with a pic, but even into the 1960′s some people actually BELIEVED this LIE about certain races. I try not to get angry with someone that doesn’t know better, but if I just educated someone, my conscience has no prob if they want to remain ignorant.

  317. JustAThought SD says:

    @TexasSB
    Love the changes you made to your profile.

  318. JustAThought SD says:

    @LatinaSugarB and many SB’s I see:

    I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind, profile, outlook, or goals, but I’m going to try to touch on a few things in your old profile since you posted it here. Remember, this is just how I see things, and I can only speak for me. (I saw you updated your active profile and I like the changes you made to the wording.)

    I’ll start at the pics. I hate black-and-white pics. Strictly a personal preference. It just doesn’t give an accurate picture (unless you’re actually monochromatic.) The main pic of your face/shoulders,the first one I saw, the one that tells me I want to look at the other pics is in b-n-w. I luv the pic it self, but I’d like it better in color. Yes, picky, I know. Also, I’d love to see an actual body shot of you standing up (in a bikini would be great since I see you love the beach. Or standing up looking fine anywhere. By the way, is that the only places you want to go is your house and the beach?) I like the idea of taking pics of yourself next to or inside of places you want to go also.(Gives us males visual clues. And other guys in the pic is usually a bad idea, so I’m glad you didn’t do that.)

    In your wording, you can brag a little bit. I love hearing good, positive stuff about an SB. I want to know. Keep negativity to a minimum. If you have qualities that your type of SD likes, be sure to touch on them.

    I’m not sure why you’d want an SD to read playboy’s with you. Are you saying you’re bi-curious,bi-sexual, or an I’m into what you’re into kind of girl?

    Every SD has his own take on tattoos, but I’d like you to consider this scenario. My favorite dress is the Lauren by Ralph Lauren Dress, Sleeveless Sequin Evening Gown in color silver or navy. If I invited you to a ball where I know clients/associates/dignitaries will be, you must be able to wear that dress without any tatts showing.(Or you’d have to get a different dress, and that would give me the sad puppy dog look.) Yes,picky, I know.

    I love when sb’s use spellcheck and don’t type their profile like a “txt msg.”

    And I love this line from your post “I could only hope for the opportunity to meet one who can help mentor me to be just as successful.” Subtle flattery still makes people melt especially when it’s sincere. You may want to consider adding this to the end of your “seeking” area.

    Once again, this is just my take, and hopefully it’ll help give someone a tiny bit of insight.

  319. Miss D says:

    @ honeybee, sbs can see other sbs with this trick, log in and go to your profile, then cut and paste the other sb’s number where your number is in the address bar that should do the trick.
    @ just a thought sd, thank you for your insight, I wish there were more sds out there like you, your very helpful.
    Even though i think my sds awesome, things are happening a little too slow for me because of personal issues with him. Right now his a great long term pot sd, but we have no arrangement at this time, but we are at the building friendship/companionship stage when his not busy. Still waiting to meet in personal. However, I do agree with the sbs in the segment that being an sb can get so lonely sometimes. Like I feel like your sd can’t always be there when you need to talk nor will always share his personal troubles because of a hectic schedule. His going here and there for work and you always can’t come along. Sometimes I do wish for a traditional relationship, or someone not so busy. Any sb feel the same way? I thinking I may have to look for someone else in the meantime, until I know my pot sd is a solid arrangement. Lol, I got too much to share for it to be wasted.

  320. flyr says:

    @ Miss D “Even though i think my sds awesome, things are happening a little too slow for me because of personal issues with him. Right now his a great long term pot sd, but we have no arrangement at this time, but we are at the building friendship/companionship stage when his not busy. Still waiting to meet in personal.”

    I’m not so concerned about the lack of an arrangement as the lack of a meeting. A very bright young woman commented that deals are like sharks, they are moving ahead or they are dying. I think this applies equally to SD relationships.

    Your wonderful SD may also be “processing” 4 pot SB and using scheduling problems to keep you available.

    Although far from hard and fast rules I think the 3^3 concept applies pretty well. Three email exchanges and its time to call, three calls and it’s time to meet, three meetings and it’s time to decide. Rules are of course made to be broken especially with an out of area meeting where the meeting is really a final check to verify that the decision is a good one.. There are times when the decision will be made in the first 5 minutes of the first meeting or even over the phone.

    He’s not your SD until there’s commitment and action………………..just a POT

  321. HoneyBee says:

    @JustAThoughtSD…
    I mean for people that are stuck in their ways. You know you will only talk to a “…” person. I’m just saying its ok to state that. I just know I can write a heart felt email to someone who does not have a preference that will count me out. That’s all I;m saying. When my new changes get approved I will definitely post my profile number on here for humor and YOUR constructive critism 8). BTW..wll you marry me?! Lol..j/k. I will agree to disagree on the “too…” to respond back….. I think asking someone why they don’t prefer your race will open up an unnecessary can of worms and you are opening the door to any response…That would just take it somewhere you don’t want to go. I totally agree with not getting upset, but if you(NOT YOU specifically, generally speaking) are 2x my age then you should already know better and I should not be educating you on the time period you were around for while I wasn’t thought of.

  322. JustAThought SD says:

    @Honeybee
    I saw this post after the Send Your Baby post, so much of what I wrote over there will cover what I meant.

    Additionally, I know people are stuck in their ways. I know as a woman of color it gets frustrating. I know it may seem like a waste of time to talk to some of these sd’s. I know there’s racism still out there. But, really, how can you expect to change these things? If you wait for all of the racists in the world to die out, you’ll be waiting a while. They may teach their children that crap, and if these kids never come in contact with anything to cause them to question such bad info, what do you think they’ll pass to their own kids?

    Also consider, you’re fighting huge propaganda,tradition, and plain ol’ brainwashing from media,social, and historical sources. Movies, tv, music, and videos portray an overwhelming number of blacks as rapping, dealing gangsters, or can’t stay out of trouble athletes. Add in female stereotypes to the mix and you (not you) could easily become a rage-a-holic from the frustration.

    I’m part optimist, and part opportunist, so I’ll get to the good part. When you (yes you) are around some of these people, they have to contend with what they thought was reality, versus whatever awesome-sauce you bring to the table. How many times have you heard “I’ve never been with a black girl?” or something similar. It may have never even crossed their mind until that very moment that you walked into their life. This is the heart of never giving up, so minds get changed,liberty and justice for all including those after you.

    No, you wouldn’t have to respond back to someone to ask why. Sometimes I can’t help asking questions of ignorant people. =)

    And at 2x older than you, some of their mental info is outdated. People used to believe the world was flat.

    Sometimes it’s just a bad situation. I had a friend that was afraid to lose the 5M that was coming to her if she dated anyone her family didn’t approve of. (The guy was hispanic.)

    I would love to see your profile when it’s done.

    Will I marry you? Did the marriage thing once. What’s that sound a plane makes when it’s going down? Can you get PTSD from marriage?

  323. LatinaSugarB says:

    @JustAThought SD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! <3 You really helped me with this subject as far as my pictures I've fixed it up and added some new ones just waiting for my profile to be approved and your so funny no! the beach and home aren't the only places I like to be I just tend to get dressed take a few pictures and go about my day even if its shopping for a few house hold items :) I understand the tattoo argument and your right! My tattoos are minimal but definitely visible if I'm wearing a sleeveless dress Thank You so much I feel a lot better that i got a SD's personal thought about my profile and I have to know what's your profile # I would love to check you out ;)

    @HoneyBee Thank You for your knowledge and most important your time I'll take some time out to fix my profile but I'm starting to get a little discourage with the fact that my profile wont update does anybody know what's going on with SA and the profile approval process

  324. Miss D says:

    Thank you @Just a thought SD
    @ honey bee, girl i feel your frustration, haha. I’m just looking around to see what is out there myself, well at least until my pot sd decides to fully commit, and the search is not looking pretty. I have written 5 emails to 5 SDs in my area. I wrote them Friday morning before I went away for the weekend and i’m checking now 3 have read it, no reply, and 2 still to read! Are you serious! Like you take your time to write something nice, and no reply, but their profile states I want an intelligent beautiful girl I can talk to, lol. The thing is i possess all those things and more, but hey what can you do. The search process is a pain in the butt, but keep at it.

  325. HoneyBee says:

    @MissD I just about croak over every time. Lol. I write nice things in response to what you are looking for and what you stated in your profile..you read it and cant say NOTHING? OMG…My thing is DONT be BOASTFUL about all you want and when its presented to you, she’s not the ‘sterotypical’ mate. I read ALL sorts of SB blogs outside of this one and find many are the ‘stereotypical” babes. Just have to keep trying i guess

    @JustAThoughtSD if you don;t marry men I;m going to cry lol..Still waiting on SA to approve my profile but when it does, I’m going to DELETE it because you said YES..LOL

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