3 years ago Views 9629
Sugar Expectations: Rules & Trust
  • Posted Apr 12, 2011
  • Written by Brandon Wade

3 years ago
Sugar Expectations: Rules & Trust

With every type of Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby relationship, being able to understand one another’s expectations, and trust that all parties involved will respect each other’s boundaries, is much of what it takes to make a sugar relationship sweet.

There are many different approaches Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies take in ensuring that their boundaries, or ‘rules’ for what they want in a sugar relationship, are met. Some here, who may have more experience with sugar dating, are aware of certain deal-breakers or warning signs that they know to look out for. For example, one Sugar Baby blogger said she only allows a potential Sugar Daddy three dates before an allowance is brought up and ‘arrangement talk’ has been had.

There are a wide range of deal-breakers and rules that are common in the Sugar World. Some of the most frequently mentioned sugar rules are related to matters of punctuality, aggressiveness (e.g., unending picture requests, intrusive texts, untimely phone calls, etc.), appreciation and overall respect.

Many sugars have said that trust is of the utmost importance in a sugar arrangement.

Reach the Beach SB: “Married SDs/ SBs need to trust that their partner will be careful about security. We need to trust that the other will not become manipulative or try to move the arrangement into relationship territory, etc.”

Author of “Sugar Daddy 101“, Leidra Lawson explains (in clip below) that there are basic rules of thumb for sugars of every type to follow. ..

How soon should the benefits in an arrangement be made clear?

Sugar Rules: Can your SD or SB date others? What are your sugar boundaries?

Are you keen on having an ‘occasional’ Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby?

Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement?

SUGARVINE UPDATES:

**Check out the ‘SB Meet 2011…Vegas!!‘ Facebook page for info about the upcoming sugar meet!!**

**Check out the Spring Fling Sugar Daddy Party site for info about the Monday, May 02 sugar party in NYC!!**

364 Responses to “Sugar Expectations: Rules & Trust”

  1. SA Moderator Team says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. Anna Molly says:

    Oooo, I’m first! Mornin’ sugars!

  3. CardsFanSD says:

    Good morning!

    Date 3 today…. caaaaaaaaan’t waaaaaaaaaaait!

    Anyway. up early. getting some work done. hope everyone else is doing fantastic…

  4. Honey says:

    #3 Whee!! Going riding today!! Have a great weekend everybody!!!

  5. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Good morning sugars!

    Thanks for the quote Stephan and an interesting subject!

    How soon should the benefits in an arrangement be made clear? I think it’s good to have those hard talks early as to not waste anyone’s time. That doesn’t mean you have to be business-like about it. Things can be brought up during e-mails, conversations in a friendly, non-threatening tone that allow both parties to understand each other.

    Sugar Rules: Can your SD or SB date others? What are your sugar boundaries? I’m a one-man kind of woman, so for me I don’t mind if he asks for exclusivity. If he’s married, I hope to be his only mistress/ sb. This is a tricky topic, but definitely one that should be discussed. Regardless of double-standards, many don’t like to share their sugar or significant other with another partner. Then there’s the health issue. Lastly, remember that the true love of your life could appear at any moment and then you will be deciding between sugar and love. Hopefully, it will be an easy choice :-).

    Are you keen on having an ‘occasional’ sugar daddy or sugar baby? Good question! I suppose if I were getting out of the sugar world, I would still enjoy the occasional sugar date. Truthfully, sugar has spoiled me and traditional dating just doesn’t seem all that appealing anymore. It’s not just the spoiling, but the drama-free, fun, not worrying about “happily ever after” that appeals to me.

    Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement? I prefer it simply because I’m trying to attain some financial goals that my salary just doesn’t cover. The only disadvantage I see is keeping it from feeling transactional. I don’t want to have to ask for it and certainly don’t want it handed to me non-discreetly.

    CardsFanSD – Woot! Have a great time, but valet your heart sweetie!

    Lily – see what I did there? :-)

    Third!

  6. Reach the Beach SB says:

    ok…fourth! Have a great time riding Honey! English or Western pleasure?

  7. torontoblondie says:

    good morning sugars :)

  8. torontoblondie says:

    How soon should the benefits in an arrangement be made clear?
    I like to do so right before I send any more pictures or even meet, I’ve found when I leave the allowance talk to later the men I end up with think 1,000 dollars a month is a big deal. Seeing I’m also in a real relationship I can’t waste my time with potential losers so I screen before hand.

    Sugar Rules: Can your SD or SB date others? What are your sugar boundaries?
    This is a tricky question – I’d like it if my current sugar daddy would date me and my friend – but then one will always be cut off, or the other will receive more allowance and feelings will be hurt. That being said he doesn’t know I’m dating someone…. And he’s only seeing me.

    Are you keen on having an ‘occasional’ sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    I rather someone be around long term as generosity usually comes out of trust from being with each other for a large amount of time. Men won’t drop 3,000 on a purse for you unless they know you and themselves will stick around.

    Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement?
    yes, advantages: I can pay for my own things and not have to be reliant and wait on my sugar daddy when I need things. (it took him over a month to let me use his credit card for a school class and now I’m on the waiting list – so I need to get my own credit card b/c it’s just annoying to have to wait on things when you want it ASAP.) disadvantages: not many unless it’s annoying to ask for.

  9. cleo says:

    torontoblondie: if you want to share him you might want to just find a local sugar who isn’t a friend… then you aren’t going to compare any notes… i know a couple… but i don’t know what your guy likes…

  10. Honey says:

    English..Hunter jumper and just got a new school horse, I love him!!

  11. Alleycat says:

    10th!

  12. Alleycat says:

    10th! Have a great day everyone.

  13. Anna Molly says:

    I use to show Tennessee Walking horses :)

    I miss it!

  14. cleo says:

    *sigh* can someone give me some lessons in how to be less nice and less trusting and more hmmm demanding or entitled??? cause man i seem to have *sucker* written in neon pink glowing letters right across my forehead

  15. Alleycat says:

    Sounds like a story there Cleo …

  16. GenuineSD says:

    Morning all !
    Interesting topic this…

    How soon should the benefits in an arrangement be made clear?
    I think that as soon as we establish that there’s significant interest, I try to at least make sure we’re in the same general area of understanding when it comes to benefits. It’s variable depending on the other party’s comfort level with the discussion… I try to avoid being pushy about the topic, but also try not to waste a lot of time if expectations aren’t reasonably aligned.

    Sugar Rules: Can your SD or SB date others? What are your sugar boundaries?
    I think this is a very sensitive topic for both parties. While a 1:1 arrangement has benefits and is generally desirable for a number of reasons, I suppose that every situation is unique and I try to approach every arrangement with an open mind. Certainly, an SBs happiness is very important in the equation. Regardless of the agreement though, honesty is essential. If it’s a 1:1 then it should be well understood, and if it’s not, that should also be fully understood.

    Are you keen on having an ‘occasional’ sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    I have not had experience with this sort of arrangement but have read and participated in a number of the blog discussions over the years on this one…. I think that there are valid situations where this can and does work. I think it’s important that the arrangement be a win-win for both partners and that noone is marginalized by the “occasional” nature of the arrangement.

    Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement?
    Allowance-based is the preference… I like the clear-cut nature… I think it gives the sb the most flexibility in applying the benefits to her own goals. It also makes the gifts and little surprises that are in addition to the allowance more fun.

  17. GenuineSD says:

    Good morning Molly, Cleao, RTB and all ! It’s almost time to start the weekend !

  18. cleo says:

    alleycat: more a pattern i see in my dating that i’m trying to figure out how to break. i’m so freaking over being taken for granted.

  19. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Genuine! good to see you! :)

  20. The Lone Gunman says:

    @cleo:

    What’s happened?

    Somehow I can’t see you as someone who could be taken advantage of, though I suppose it’s possible for it to happen to anyone.

    TLG

  21. Cali SB says:

    Morning sugars!

    I wanted to take this time to warn you all about an a-hole troll I exchanged messages with. If you recall, my last post yesterday ranted about how I can’t stand when people with no photos ask me for more photos when I have 7 current photos. Yet this a-hole asked me for a current body shot. Well, I emailed him back and said that all of my photos were current. He messaged me back and said “not into overweight women good luck babe..”. Um.. excuse me?! I’m 5’5″, 106lbs, size 0 — my profile is linked here, feel free to look. Is he looking for a 13 year old girl or someone anorexic??? Seriously, what a jerk. He’s probably some fat, bald, ogre himself. Or he’s an idiot who doesn’t know how to use this site and saw my pink dress shot smooshed since it’s not a square and is too stupid to click on it to see it normally. Jerks like this make me sick.

    His ID is 132470. Stay far away. (BTW, I love that his profile says he’s sweet and respectful. LMAO)

  22. Dallasbaby says:

    Cali SB – OMG girl that reminds me when I met a guy in person and wore one of those flouncy type dress outfits that are popular, he drove off on me then sent me a text that I was bigger than a size 3. I am a size 2 and very busty 32-DDD. I felt so violated and hurt. A guy friend later told me it was the dress !

  23. Cali SB says:

    Dallasbaby — Some people have absolutely no tact.. or brain cells, apparently! lol

  24. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars! Happy Friday to all! Its been a while I just saw CaliSB’s run in. Cali I think by calling him an A**hole you’re giving him too much credit. overweight? Are you kidding?!! I would probably be morbidly obese in his eyes then..whatever. I actually need to update my photos I’ve actually lost a bit of weight surprisingly not on purpose long story but anywhoo need some advice on putting best face forward any expert pic takers among the blog?

  25. Alleycat says:

    @Cali – that profile has got d*ckhead written all over it.

    He’s offering $10-$20k, earns >$1m and he’s been on the site for 6 months? Wow, I guess there must be a total lacks of SBs in the LA area who would like that offer, huh.

  26. cleo says:

    TLG: i should probably learn that when i start feeling like the world is pointless it’s probably related to a certain feminine ailment rather than true feelings of hopelessness!

  27. Cali SB says:

    Michael — You’re so right. It’s probably a totally fake profile and he’s just a picture collector. Nasty. Pompous jerk. I wish there was a place we could list ID numbers of the d-bags. I know there’s that other site someone mentioned (I don’t even remember what it is) but that’s a lot of work and I don’t think is just about SA. I’d like to see a little thing for it on here somewhere.

  28. Cali SB says:

    cleo — I know that feeling. The other day I was so short fused with everyone about everything I actually put a disclaimer on my FB page. haha :) I also ate 3 packs of Peanut Butter Twix that day too. lol Generally that’s very out of character for me, happens only a couple times a year.

  29. Honey says:

    I can help you with that Cleo, ya’ll are too nice…

  30. CardsFanSD says:

    @ReachTheBeach — Ahh, valet the heart… thank you for a necessary reminder. ;-)

  31. Anna Molly says:

    I’m watching the first season of Lost tonight. I have my provisions; a bottle of wine, some spaghetti and another bottle of wine…haha
    :D

  32. cleo says:

    Anna Molly i’m having the same night and delighted by it. Currently wearing boots strikingly similar to the ones in my avatar pic (which yes, is my boot and my leg) and trying to get my feet to stretch them a smidge! Hoping I don’t have to get a shoemaker to do it.

    just so you can appreciate, this is paired with knee length yoga shorts and a giant green lululemon jacket (inherited from a guy and the perfect amount of baggy) and no makeup.

    said boots are of course platforms and very high lol

    it’s SO HOT!

  33. Anna Molly says:

    Cleo – Sounds like the perfect evening to me! :D

  34. Kindred Spirit says:

    Wow Cleo, I have a lot in common with you about feeling too giving, nice, etc and feeling taken for granted from past men (unless I step it up and be more clear, which I’m about to do). Actually, I kind of blame myself because I have it ingrained in me to give so much of myself to please someone…and they are thinking the status quo is awesome, but inside I’m yearning for more balance in the arrangment. I have a potential one going, only the third date in, but already feeling like I’d better make sure we’re on the same page so we can get this hard talk out of the way to begin with. He’s very sweet, we have chemistry, and I’d hate to lose him, but…I certainly do not want any regrets. Wish me luck….

  35. Honey says:

    Sugar Rules: Can your SD or SB date others?
    Have at it babes!
    Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement?
    I like to have my cake and eat it too! Both. The disadvantages can be SD thinking he owns you and can see you at will! I agree with Lisa, some want you to be independent, but they also want you at their beck and call. And all those jerks that behaved so disgracefully, they did you a big favor by doing it early. Suppose they waited until you liked them or something to show their true colors?

  36. Anna Molly says:

    Well, I was going to watch Lost, but, decided to watch 39 Steps instead :)

  37. torontoblondie says:

    @cleo sorry cleo he’s a one-woman man only so even if I wanted to share him (which trust me I do) I can’t even pry him off myself to throw at another woman instead I just get a bunch of proposals, if I stay with him for a year I think I’ll start wearing the right its around 50 g’s and apparently I only get his grandmothers (100K +) if I went through with the wedding :p

    we leave for the bahamas this wednesday – in an executive suite, business class :)

  38. Honey says:

    Go Toronto! My sweetie would fly me out coach, but buy me anything I wanted. He’s funny like that. I bet I could ask him to upgrade, but I would rather have the money spent on me! I’m really cheap at heart…! I like quality though.

  39. Beach_Girl says:

    Hi Sugars!!!
    Cleo, just sent you something for shoes!!! It really works and should help…

    too tired to read up, Have a great night sugars

  40. sugarsugar says:

    CaliSB:

    Wait..he saw your pictures, obviously liked them if he asked for more, then when you said the pics were current he says you are too overweight for him? WTF? That doesn’t even make sense. It’s sort of like the wounded animal syndrome. If you hurt them they have to hurt back and idiots like this guy know that the way to hurt a pot SB is to call her fat or ugly. You are obviously neither. you are gorgeus and svelte.

    When a pot SD asks me for more pics (I have 3 up) I usually pass on them because it means they want to see if you have the exact body type they are looking for…in other words perfection. For 10-20K, if he is real, he probably expects nothing less. In my experience the guys asking for 10-20K are usually players who are really rude and spoiled and want more than one SD or guys like the one in the Pacific Northwest who are pervs who want a full time SB slave

  41. sugarsugar says:

    I meant more than one SB obviously, sorry for typo

  42. Cali SB says:

    Beach — What is your shoe trick? I have some bowling shoes I need to make a size larger, it’s horrible! lol

    Sugarsugar — Thank you. :) I think the profile is fake. Michael was right.. what SD would have a profile that long with that amount of income and allowance in LA? Sounds like a picture collector to me. If he thought I was fat in my photos why would he think I would be any thinner in new photos? lol Ridiculous.

  43. CinDC says:

    How soon should the benefits in an arrangement be made clear?
    I try to broach the subject within the first week of conversations, mostly before meeting. I want to know what he is expecting and if our expectations even match up before I plan on spending time with him. I don’t feel the whole arrangement needs to be settled, but to have a general understanding of what eachother is looking for. I’d say if you want to continue meeting after 3 dates, yes, an arrangement should be in place because obviously there is interest.

    Sugar Rules: Can your SD or SB date others? What are your sugar boundaries?
    Started conversating with someone who has two SB’s in different states, says this is how he enjoys his life to be and has been with them for over a year. I appreciated his honesty at least. If all parties are aware and in understanding then to each his own.

    Are you keen on having an ‘occasional’ sugar daddy or sugar baby?
    This would not be for me as I am looking for personal interaction on a regular basis and a little security knowing the sugar will be in flow.

    Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement?
    I personally at looking for an allowance only because for me it is more realistic for my life at the moment. Expensive things will not pay for school, although they would be very much enjoyed.
    I agree with @GenuineSD on this one.

    Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead! Great topic once again…can’t wait to hear more from everyone!

  44. CinDC says:

    add on….
    Still finding the right timing and conversation to bring up the actualy arrangement. Two recent contacts have told me they merely got on the site to find a physical partner with no sugar. Hm. Good thing we had that talk. But does having the actualy conversation still feel awkward to others? Any words of advice on this subject??

  45. VivienneSugar says:

    [img]https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=97897fc82f&view=att&th=12f5c4701f587d2b&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=f_gmjyuydw0&zw[/img]

    I wanted to say hi to everyone :) I’m a new SB, Vivienne from beautiful Southern California. I am looking forward to learning and interacting with you all.

    *Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement?

    I do have a preference of an allowance based sugar relationship but I am open to gift or travel based relationships as well. It would allow me the freedom to choose what specifically I utilize the allowance on; be it tuition & books or a new Chanel bag. The disadvantage of this type of relationship would be how my SD would give me the allowance without either of us feeling like it’s a business transaction.

  46. VivienneSugar says:

    Oops! So sorry about the large avatar. That was an accident. I’m still working out the kinks. :)

  47. Cali SB says:

    Vivienne — Welcome, where in SoCal are you? I’m in LA.

  48. VivienneSugar says:

    Hi Cali!

    I am only about 2 hours from you- I’m in San Diego.

    Thank you so much for the welcome :)

  49. Beach_Girl says:

    Cali I would need your email to send you the video …
    Can the blog send my email to Cali, thanks!
    good night Sugars

  50. Beach_Girl says:

    VivienneSugar~ I was in San diego last year, what a beautiful city!!! loved it

  51. LASB says:

    Hey Beach – I just sent her your email address. When are you coming out to LA? The weather is great!

  52. VivienneSugar says:

    Hi Beach_Girl,

    Nice to meet you :) Yes, San Diego is gorgeous. Wonderful beaches, perfect weather and lots of things to do. What did you end up doing during your visit? [img]http://www.mavarts.com/assets/galleries/52/tn_aquarius.jpg[/img]

  53. CardsFanSD says:

    Happy weekend to all of you :-)

  54. collegeGirl says:

    I am having a sugar crisis and I value the opinion of a lot of the sugars on here because i’ve been reading online for a few months but never really participated.

    PLEASE HELP

    I have been talking to this pot via phone and text message for a few days but then he stopped writing me and told me he was reconnecting with someone from him past. I wished him luck and moved on. two weeks later i saw he was online and asked him how things were going and he said they didn’t work out. We happened to be in the same city (i was visiting a friend) so he stopped at a bar i was hanging out at to meet. Our meeting was very short and brief because i was hanging out with a friend who is not aware of my sugar life and i would have had to explain what im doing talking to a man thats 3x my age that sticks out like a soar thumb in a crowd of young college kids.
    He texted me for the rest of the night telling me how beautiful i was and how the photos on the site didn’t do me any justice and he regrets that we didn’t meet sooner. I told him i was only visiting my friend for the weekend and i would be leaving early the following morning so we wouldn’t be able to hang out. Since I told him i had to be back home for school. he offered to fly me out the next weekend.
    I took him up on the offer and now im in his city for the weekend. He got me a hotel room because but i told him he couldn’t stay here with me (was i rude?) He made plans for the whole weekend. Fri sat and before i left on sunday afternoon (isn’t that too long for a first date?)

    Friday passed already and we had a good evening… but the chemistry wasn’t there(in my opinion) he kept trying to give me alcohol and even made a joke “im trying to get you drunk and its not working” (should i be offended?) He constantly talked about his former sb and showed me photos but i think he got a little jealous when i showed him pix of mine and discussed our relationship. He also made a comment how he couldn’t spoil me as much as my former sd did.

    He also discussed how he wanted an exclusive relationship. he likes to go out to bars and clubs and want to take me out with him but i grew up in this city and was born and raised. the places he likes to go are in the city and theres a chance i can run into many people that i might know. (how should i explain that i want discreetness)

    He seems like a really nice guy with good intentions but i don’t find him attractive at all. He knows i know people in the city so before i got here i told him i might want to spend one day with my friends and he asked could he join (is it rude to say no since he paid for me to come all the way over here)

    Last night before he left to go back home i didn’t give him a goodbye kiss and he seemed very disappointed. (should i explain i just want to take things nice and slow?)
    Im feeling a little uneasy about this guy but im not sure how to tell him or even if i should tell him at all. he has so many plans for us tonight. will it be okay if i invite my friend? he says he doesn’t mind. I’ll just tell her he’s my teacher or something….

  55. Anna Molly says:

    Happy weekend Sugars! Xoxo :D

  56. Anna Molly says:

    Okay, I’m totally addicted to ” My Name is Earl” . Yeah, this is what I do into the weekends. I’ve watched the first three seasons and I’m on the fourth now, what an awesome show! I think my southern accent has even come back a little stronger, thanks to Joy! :)

  57. Anna Molly says:

    Spot, auto correct. It’s shouldn’t say into, but, on :)

  58. Anna Molly says:

    Oh good grief! Last post should say sorry.

  59. Dallasbaby says:

    collegeGirl- Sounds like you got yourself into a situation ! If you are just not feeling the vibe I would just let him know as soon as possible or just tell him you can not move forward without your full allowance in place. Him wanting to take all of your time and even hang with your friends is just a bit much as you do need space.

  60. Anna Molly says:

    Nevermind, I give up on correcting myself.

  61. GenuineSD says:

    @collegeGirl
    I agree that it’s a bit of a sticky situation. Without the benefit of an arrangement in place, a whole weekend is generally overly ambitious. So now, what to do ?
    First, most real SDs will appreciate an honest explanation of where you’re at. I’d suggest a nicely worded explanation that the chemistry just isn’t there for you. If he’s experienced he, he should understand and give you some space for the balance of the weekend.

    I never expect (and frankly don’t want) to meet friends of a pot-Sb… I think that expects too much so early (or maybe ever.?.). I think your hesitation in being out with him on your “own turf” is also understandable and reasonable. Frankly, these are all screening topics for the discussions before you get to the point you’re currently at… So a graceful extraction from the situation is what you’re looking for… Be sensitive, but stand your ground in explaining that this isn’t going to work… It’s the risk an SD assumes when flying someone in for a first meet and he should understand and acquiesce.

  62. collegeGirl says:

    Dallasbaby- I tried to mention the allowance thing once but he says he wants an “exclusive girlfriend” so im assuming he doesn’t believe in allowances? not too sure if we were on the same page…

    GenuineSD- We’re going to lunch in an hour. I’ll mention that the chemistry isn’t there and discuss the whole situation openly.You’re right if we should have discussed this before it got to this point. i’ll try to straighten things out and update you when i get back.

    thanks both of y0u for the advice.

  63. cleo says:

    college girl: you don’t want to kiss him, that’s really enough to know that he isn’t arrangement material

    has the room and your return ticket been paid in full and in advance?

    it is not rude to refuse to let him in your room… it is rude to want to come to town on his dime and not see him

  64. Dallasbaby says:

    college girl: From this point on do not let him in your room . This is what can get you in the most trouble …………. sometimes guys will try a last ditch effort to get what they want and it can get ugly . If it does get ugly make sure you say NO in a loud mean voice, if you say it to calm they take it as a tease and not serious.

  65. RedMaru says:

    Hey sugars! Its windy here in my neck of the woods here in GA and cool but clear and pretty.
    How is everyone? To Viviennie hope I spelled it right welcome!
    collegeGirl that is quite a sugar pickle youre in. You need to be honest from the gitgo on your
    feelings but in way that is sensitive to his feelings

  66. Michael Alleycat says:

    College Girl – have the convo with him asap.

    If there is no chemistry, you should stop it right there, and he should understand. What were the conditions of the trip? To see if there was a connection? Start the arrangement? Was allowance agreed to? It sounds like you went without putting all the things in place, and communicated everything up front. Its good that you are doing it now.

    Let us know how it goes, and stay safe!

  67. RedMaru says:

    Awwww shoot I missed BeachGirl!

  68. Bela says:

    Been away for a while, but just wanted to pop in and say hi to the sugar peeps!

    Hope everyone’s weekend is going well <3

  69. Honey says:

    College girl tell him that you DO need time to get to know him better…..He wants you to sleep with him this weekend, is he promising anything besides this one trip? Is there anything he could do to make himself more attractive to you right now? Besides getting you drunk? Play hard to get -BE hard to get. You are NOT an escort, if he wanted a sure thing… you are worth waiting for!!

  70. Reach the Beach SB says:

    CollegeGirl – If you’re not interested, don’t pretend to be. It diminishes what could potentially be a great experience. He’ll know if you’re genuinely interested and can sense when he’s being duped. Keep looking…you’ll know and appreciate the difference.

    Evening sugars! Quiet night in with my sugars and a glass of wine!

  71. Jessie says:

    @CollegeGirl – It’s not rude to tell him he couldn’t stay at the hotel with you. Since you had aIready discussed the fact that you have friends in the city and wanted to spend time with them, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to tell him no, you can’t be with him tonight…especially since you spent time with him already yesterday, and had lunch with him today. Simply because he bought you a ticket, doesn’t mean you have to be with him ALL day. You both have been in this type of relationship before so it shouldn’t be too difficult for him to understand that this is merely an effort to see if you’re both compatible.

    Since you’ve already discovered that you’re not, talking to him about discretion and an arrangement is pointless. Remember, simply because he paid for the ticket doesn’t mean you’re obligated to do ANYTHING more than meet and decide if you want to start a relationship with him. He should be gentleman enough to allow you to spend the rest of the weekend trouble free. Be careful. You’re in a city that you’re familiar with, and you have friends close by so don’t be afraid to utilize them if it becomes necessary.

  72. RedMaru says:

    Hey Reach! Pass the wine!

  73. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Hi Red! Coming your way!

    Jessie – Well said. Future advice is to set some guidelines for the weekend visit…especially the first real visit. I usually don’t travel to see someone the first time, so it’s him coming here for a 2-hour dinner/drinks meet.

  74. Nico says:

    Hello Friends and Family :-) Still unpacking and just hooked the laptop back up ;-) Catch up on the blog later. Just wanted to say hi to friends made on my recent trip! It was a blast meeting you!!! *HUGS*

  75. CardsFanSD says:

    @CollegeGirl — 1) Always make sure, if you are travelling, that you have somewhere paid to stay for — reservations, in your name. I think that’s a basic goodwill gesture on the SDs part, and critical to your safety.

    2) If you have a flight back/ticket — and you don’t feel safe — I presume you have someone in the town you may be able to stay with?

    3) The “you want to take it slow” doesn’t seem accurate, if you are truly not interested. If you are safe, with a place to stay, and a ticket back, then I think honesty is best. No one likes to be strung along.

    4) You have a right to be alone with your friends. However, the trip itinerary/plans should be settled beforehand. Though, for future reference, I would suggest giving yourself an “out”, something like “If we don’t hit it off on the first 2 outings, we will agree to cancel the remaining”. You’re not “his”, however, I’d be sure both sides had that expectation at the outset…

    Just my few thoughts on the matter….

  76. Arcadia SB says:

    GOod to see everyone on the blog, I’ve been hiding out for a while (busy with work), but tryingt o catch up on a new topic.

    CollegeGirl – I understand how you feel about being out with your friends with an SD. If you don’t see it going anywhere, try and figure a polite way to let him know, at least by the time you hop ont he plane home. Put your foot down where necessary. I like to keep my sugar life and friend life and work life separate. I’ve dated older men in the past so it wouldn’t raise too much of an eyebrow for me to be seen with one, but still…it’s not someone I plan on spending eternity with and the sugar relationship is it’s own thing, for me, as an escape from the real world. I don’t like them to mix because it just makes me uncomfortable…like I’m blending fantasy with reality.

    On an unrelated note, had a good first sugar date last night after a long dry spell that reminded me the good things of the sugar life. Good chemistry, great restaurant, fun night out…being treated well and having great conversation. Just a wonderful evening, I felt like Cinderella at the ball.

    Hope everyone is well! I’ve missed y’all!

  77. LovelyLibra says:

    Oh My Gosh! Good evening sugars! I cant wait to lose enough weight to join the sugar bowl! Anyone got any tips for me?
    Also I was wondering, after reading collegegirls post, if any of you sugars have run into someone you know while out with a sugar.

    I’m just thinking about running into someone I knew from church, or a family friend… oh the horror hehehe

  78. cleo says:

    I don’t get the fuss about running into people you know while out with a sugar. Are you making out or holding hands or whatever?

    First of all if you don’t like your sugar daddy enough to be seen in public with him just because he’s awesome you probably don’t like him enough.

    Second if you are acting appropriately you should be able to flirt intensely without anyone else knowing who or what your business is

    Third and most important, remember Bo Derek. The hottest woman in the world married a man 25 years her senior, was with him until he died and then got engaged to the younger John Corbett…

    Fourth I am often out with friends of all sorts of ages, I don’t look around and wonder if people think my dad is my boyfriend, I hang out with my dad. So hang out with your sd

    I am NOT saying “bring him to your favorite bar and intro him and get him to buy the house a round” by the way… just that the being seen in public thing is interesting to me. (obviously different if people are married)

  79. cleo says:

    (of course i’m a crone and my sugar dates are within fifteen years of me… and i know when a 20 year old man hits on me i get creeped out imagining meeting his mother so… i get it to a certain extent… but i’d still have dinner with the 20 year old and not think twice about it)

  80. CultureDaddy says:

    @Cali: a possible explanation: maybe he looked at the red dress photo without clicking on it, so he only saw it in its vertically distorted thumbnail form. I wonder if it might be safer to not have that photo up?

  81. CultureDaddy says:

    Whoops! I commented before reading to the end of your post and seeing that you made the same point! Sorry. It’s a bit early and I haven’t had coffee yet.

  82. CinDC says:

    College Girl, hope the meeting went smoothly last night and what you set to do happened appropriately.

    Good morning everyone!

    Have a first dinner date tonight… We shall see!

  83. Kindred Spirit says:

    Good Morning!! :D

  84. Cali SB says:

    Culture — I have 6 other photos up (and I imagine most people enlarge the photos anyway) so if he still thought I was fat due to one distorted image, something tells me he doesn’t have enough brain cells to really be who he claims to be. :)

    In other news, I read about another site in a brief TMZ article and decided to join bc it claimed you made money simply for replying to men’s messages. I joined thinking it was a quick way to get a little sugar and maybe another route. WRONG. It’s basically cheap porn for guys. You set prices to video chat with people (and another price if you want to let them record it). I’m sorry, but I could never need money enough to do something like that. You will never find nude photos or videos of me floating around on the internet!

  85. CinDC says:

    Cali SB…that’s the first I’ve heard of that. Although not for everyone I’m sure the people who do decide on that route can appreciate the lack of a 3rd party. I personally prefer a one on one relationship as well.

  86. Honey says:

    Good Morn. and welcome newbie bloggers!!
    I hope College’s thingy works out !!
    I understand about being out with your sd in public.
    Sometimes it does not work out the way one plans.He likes showing off his younger “Arm Candy”
    I am a discreet person,he is not. He wants to spend the whole time looking at me, talking to me, telling other people how he loves to take care of me…I sometimes shamelessly ask for outrageous things during these times!! So it’s a double edge sword….for both of us. I choose the places we go carefully, not so hard since Houston has more places than to eat than most other cities and he lives about 1 hour outside the city. It’s hard to pretend you are just friends when he tells the waiter, “whatever, my Sweetie wants”!
    Beautiful day in Houston!!!! Don’t waste the daylight!!!

  87. torontoblondie says:

    @@CollegeGirl – Tell him you have expenses, I’m in University and trust me us girls need money to pay for our living expenses, food, tuition, tell him you need at least X a month to pay for your expenses and if he says he’s not interested b/c he was an ‘exclusive’ relationship then run for the hills and you are better off without him because it seems that you won’t date this guy if there was no sugar involved so why waste your time b/c your scared you are going to hurt his feelings… he is using you and trying to find a cheap fling and he sounds pathetic no offence.

    —– also I talked to other sugar babies turns out 2 were dating the same man: 1 got 6 grand a month and he always paid when he was supposed to the other got 2 and he barely gave her money or gifts and she always had to ask —- the first one got a lot more because she made sure she told him she knew she was worth it and fought for what she deserves so he never questioned her. The best advice I can give you is “a closed mouth never gets fed”

    @ LovelyLibra
    — p90x and don’t miss out on days you have to be determined and remember you are only cheating yourself if you don’t complete the program as well eat 4 smaller meals a day, no white stuff (aka white bread) that is all bad for you and doesn’t have any nutritional value – only whole wheat, sushi is a great way to get skinny it’s yummy and healthy (not too much rice though).

    As well I actually ran into someone I babysat for (the mother) while I was on a SD date I think I just told him to stand far away from me and act like my dad lol.

  88. torontoblondie says:

    @ cleo you were right about Thompson hotel being packed on Saturdays ohhhh myyy so many people,

    literally in love with my new sugar daddy we had dinner at the restaurant because the place I wanted to go originally had a private event planned. Any who the bar was packed and they have a bar on the rooftop but I’m unsure if that’s only for hotel members because they have ropes and security sectioning the elevator off etc… I dunno I just love my new sugar daddy though (he doesn’t like that word :p) prb because it sounds old and he isn’t, I just know that I could never hurt this guy, he’s just so special and I literally hit it off with him as if we were a couple, no pressures, just fun. And amazing sex. Ughhhh I’m just so smitten :p I haven’t really discussed an arrangement with him because I really couldn’t care, he gave me 1000 last night but I could never ask for more, I could ask for less instead because it as if I’m not working or even thinking about the money, just about having a fun time :p

    Off to go try to find pictures with him and enimen on the internet, apparently they were partying this week in LA and he invited me but I was in exam period, next time :(

    AND I can’t believe its snowing right now fml

  89. Kindred Spirit says:

    My learned insight regarding the allowance/arrangement conversation with a potential SD…

    For me, discussing the “financial assistance” aspect (as I like to refer to it) does feel a bit awkward, especially if I have gotten to the point of getting emotionally interested in a man. Even after just a few dates emotions can start building, which can screw with my determination not to settle on my needs in an arrangement (comes with the territory of being a natural people-pleaser, and I know it! :) ).

    That said, It should get easier the more times you have this talk with each potential. It’s a graceful dance of sensitivity and tact, but also in clearly communicating your desires and knowing how flexible you before reaching the point where the balance does not feel comfortable for you (or him)…thereinwhich at least one party would go unsatisfied.

    I don’t like the idea of an ultimatum of an exact figure, because other factors weigh in and can make a difference: like plane tickets, amount of time (hours/days) spent with your SD, gifts or experiences he may buy you and treat you to, which add up. So… is all that included with the allowance amount or in addition? Important to understand an SD’s budget when he explains it, as he may have a lovely income but has other financial obligations (mortgage, schooling for kids, etc), therefore decreasing the amount he can comfortably spend on a SB.

    That aspect is discussed thoroughly, imho, in Brandon Wade’s book, Seeking Arrangement (yes, I’m advertising on purpose, too ;) ), how a man with an income of $75k may be able to spend at least 1k/mo on a SB if he has no debt/few bills to take care of…in comparison to a man making $500k+ may have expenses for his kids, an enormous mortgage, and “toys” to maintain or pay off (plane, cars, boat, etc), and in the end may have less than $500/mo to play with for an SB.

    Vast differences, but you can see my point. I like how the book states an SD should ask himself, “What is the exact amount of disposable income I have each month, after paying my expenses, which I am able and willing to spend on a Sugar Baby?” Or what the narrow range is that I have, if my income fluctuates from month to month?

    Another point from the book is that it encourages the SD to bring up the money aspect first, and start sharing what he realistically would like to give/how he wants to spend his money on his girl. I appreciate this from Wade’s book, too: “The kindest thing a Sugar Daddy can do on or even before a first date is to bring it up himself, in a matter-of-fact way, thus sparing her the agony.” Or at least by the second date, please, once mutual chemistry is established. :) On the fair, flip side of the coin, though, if he brings up the money part, an SB should be ready to discuss the physical aspect of the arrangement….

    Personally, I’ve yet to have a man bring up the financial side of it first…instead they turn it to putting me on the spot in asking what I am expecting, forcing me to be general about it until I can get them to explain their budget comfort-level to me (argh…!). :(

    Bottomline: be reasonable and considerate of what he can afford with you in his life and at the same time what you truly need/desire to be happy for an arrangement with him, perhaps also factoring in how many times a month you may or may not see him. Be fair, but at the same time do not settle to below your comfort-level, all factors considered.

    This is all especially important when an SD marks “open/negotiable” on his profile so although you have an idea of what he makes (if he’s honest about that on his profile), you have NO idea how much he can or wants to spend on an SB.

    I’ve come up with a key question I check in with myself during this important discussion with a potential SD:

    Would that financial amount really be worth it to me for the amount of time, energy and effort I give of myself to this arrangement and for working toward my personal goals?

    So after that special and necessary conversation, it should be clear that it is what it is…so now listen to your gut (both SDs and SBs) if this is indeed a great match after all.

    Thank you for listening. :)

  90. LovelyLibra says:

    partyng w eminem!!

  91. Dallasbaby says:

    Oh no, A guy on WYP did get the wrong idea about the site and I turned in his profile but not sure if it makes a difference or not to do so . He wrote: I have to be honest with you, this will be my first meet from this website. But I’m not new with the SD/SB thing. Just so we understand each other, getting together to do the meet and greet thing in public is great. In the event we decide to go private is what my offer is for. Have I misunderstood the nature of this site? Also, if I still have your interest, I would like for you to email me a full photo

  92. Dallasbaby says:

    I wonder if WYP will delete this troll? He wrote this : Ok, let me be more clearer. I can offer 100 to meet for coffee. In the event we go private, I can offer 300. Total 400

  93. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Dallasbaby – Can’t you block him? He obviously has you mistaken for a cheap hooker…ewwwww!

    I need a box of chocolate and a huge bottle of wine….tough day today :(

  94. Dallasbaby says:

    It seems the guys who want the quick meet for drinks or coffee also want the quick romp in the bed ! You would think he would want to get to know me better as well as I could be a crazy one. * wink *

  95. Jessie says:

    Hey RTB, maybe you an I are having the same kind of day. I’m typing with one hand because I decided to pretend to be domestic and my very hot bread pan retaliated.

    Sending a hug you way.

  96. Jessie says:

    @Cali – I don’t know if you read OC’s post on sprucing up your profile. One of the things she suggested was making all the pics in your profile private except for one. I can”t remember if she said one like AM has on her avatar or full. It was in the December thread (I think). I made the changes she suggested the same day, and have gotten more response since. Surprisingly, I’ve not been asked for any additional pics until we decided to meet.

    Don’t remember seeing you since then OC…”Hi” Chances are you changed your name and since I can’t keep up with the blog I missed it.

  97. CinDC says:

    That’s awesome @TorontoBlondie!!!!
    @kindred Spirit thanks for the wise words!!

  98. torontoblondie says:

    @ Dallas tell him ok and meet for coffee first, take the 100 then tell him how you’ll do the 300 another time… then never talk to him again lol if he thinks he can treat us like that then he should get what he deserves :p

  99. Anna Molly says:

    Hey Sugars! Hope everyone is having a great weekend!! :D

  100. Dallasbaby says:

    torontoblondie – not worth my time as he also wants me to drive an hour to meet him. That means 2 hours drive time alone. 100 is not worth risking meeting a stranger online……..I do value my life just a tinsy bit more. * giggles *

  101. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Jessie- Thanks! Hugs back and I hope your hand feels better soon. How did the bread turn out?

    I don’t think OC has been around since the name changes…I do miss her insights though. There may be a link on the right that talks about profiles…a compilation of her thoughts, Flo Rida and various others. It’s definitely worth a refresher for those not getting the results they want.

    Dallasbaby – Good for you. Safety and common sense should always be first and foremost.

    Torontoblondie – It’s so much fun when you connect with your SD!!! Mutually beneficial all the way baby!

    Kindred – Interesting, but I’ve only had to mention finances once in the scenarios where we were seriously discussing terms. I have a specific range in my profile plus I say something to the effect of “meeting a gentleman who believes in helping me achieve the financial success I cannot achieve alone…” Those have always been repeated back to me. Maybe I’m the lucky one. Then again, if they’ve gotten that far, the screening has worked beautifully!

  102. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Hi AM & C in DC!

  103. CardsFanSD says:

    My random curiosity question of the day: As an SB, have you ever enjoyed their companionship to the point where you got *them* a gift? Birthday, etc?

    Hope everyone is having a most excellent weekend. My weekend’s gone well, all things considered. Now, I’m sitting in a Starbucks — 96 degrees outside, so the good weather’s gone… enjoying a caramel frappucino (is there a difference between caramel and carmel?) getting very little done, but pretending otherwise…

    :D

  104. Reach the Beach SB says:

    CardsFanSD – I have been known to give my gent a small, thoughtful gift…even without a specific reason.

    Carmel – memories of California – Tiramisu on white sands after a beautiful ride down the PCH
    Caramel – Mmmmmm…what a woman can do with caramel!

    I digress!

  105. Dallasbaby says:

    Well here is his reply and I did notice his name is JOHN !

    I don’t think so. We are all adults on this site. We all want certain things. Believe me, I have been duped many times by women such as yourself, giving me the impression we will both be happy. I don’t have a lot of time to waste. I know before I meet someone if I’m doing the right thing. Granted this site is different with the upfront thing. But then again it not different. I have yet to have anyone tell me we didn’t click or weren’t compatible. But I’m sure there are some women on here will only meet guys. That wouldn’t be to bad, if all she had to do is show up and get an offer for it. All she would have to do is line up 2-3 guys during the day, 7 days a week at $150 a meet, and that would be a nice amount, don’t you think? Now, you aren’t that type, are you? Naw, I don’t sense it. But this wind has my nose kind of all stopped up from the allergies :)

    I appreciate the heads up. I wish you well on here.

    John

  106. CardsFanSD says:

    @Reach — Ha! Your digression made me smile… :-)

  107. CardsFanSD says:

    and ok, I googled it… so we might pronounce it carmel — but it is still caramel. today, i am a tiny bit more knowledgeable than yesterday. unless you count the stuff I once knew and forgot already.

  108. cleo says:

    torontoblondie: so awesome about your new SD… don’t be too quick to cut your ties with the established one, there is always that three month curse.

    did you see what i mean about the zillions of women and no men at the bar on the main floor? i didn’t get upstairs, i’m not a friend/guest/vip and i am not sure looking like a 6’4 ex model gets you in that door and i couldn’t bear to try and then be turned away. you’ve been up there, what do you think?

    also really happy for you! (isn’t he more a rich bf than an SD though?)
    .
    cardsfan: depending on the man i could imagine buying him cufflinks or a tie, a pen, a watch, various food items i know he will love(i am more likely to cook myself but never fattening if he’s on a diet), toys for his hobby like a lock for his golf bag or a new pair of ski gloves or silly things like that

    i mean if he’s married

    if he’s single whatever i want.

    that said, if i am not getting an allowance from you i can’t afford to purchase things FOR you know what i mean? so it would sort of depend on the nature of the arrangement… but if i were getting like 4k/month i could easily imagine (as honey once suggested) spending 5-10% of that on things for him (which also includes “look what i got to wear for you”)
    .
    Kindred Spirit: the allowance talk, good lord. sound advice though
    .
    re pics

    ocsugarbaby suggests a head or mouth down body shot as your only public photo and a private face shot as your other photo. it also implies that you are discreet

    otherwise ONE good face shot and one body or piece of body shot.

    i had a lot of fun letting my legs lead actually…

  109. cleo says:

    let me rephrase that… “there is always teh three month curse”

    some bloggers have noticed a three month curse in the world of arrangements and consider it best to hedge one’s bets until you hit the four month mark lol

    but i meant it in a casual and kidding way and it came out so certain!

  110. collegeGirl says:

    Im honored to see all the support i received. Thanks so much EVERYBODY.

    Update:
    We decided not to take things further. At lunch things got a little hectic because i tried bringing up a whole bunch of things that should have been discussed before i got on the plane(like most of you suggested)ie. allowance, plans, possibility starting an arrangement)

    I had a round trip ticket, and the room was already paid for the weekend so i enjoyed my city and left this morning like planned. He called and offered me a ride to the airport and i took him up on the offer. He was really upset when he saw that i had a girl sleepover with me in the room that he PAID for. He gave me 400 dollars. 100 dollars less than what he promised me to pay my credit card bill. During the ride we discussed that it was just a lot of miscommunication and we just wanted to end things on a good note without any grudges. I can conclude that this was a learning experience and next time i will discuss more before i hop on a plane and meet a pot.

  111. Jessie says:

    @RTB – Thanks :) Would you believe it came out absolutely perfect. I’m shocked. My mom almost had a heart attack :).

    @Cleo – Thanks for filling in the blanks. Noticed you changed your pic. Now you not only look hot, but mischievous as well :)

    @CinDC – If you go to the previous blog, about midway through, Guru has some links on broaching “the arrangement talk”.

    @CollegeGirl – So glad to hear that you’re home safe and sound :). He was upset that you had a girl sleepover…WOW. Be thankful that you dodged that bullet.

  112. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Holy smiley faces!!! (J/K)

    Glad the bread turned out! I experimented with mango salsa this week…”just a little bit offside” would about explain the end result.

    CollegeGirl – Glad you’re safe. I have to admit I was concerned when we didn’t hear from you. Safety first…always! He can fly to you…even if you have to wait for the meeting. It’s worth it for the guy who will understand the same thing.

  113. torontoblondie says:

    @ Dallas, sorry didn’t know he wanted you to drive to him, I’m in a major city so people always come to me :p

    @ CardsFanSD – I bought my ex SD a ipod touch for christmas once

    @ Cleo – yes that sounds smart, I hate juggling two though :( He’s still like a SD, he gave me 1000 last night so I’m assuming as long as I’m still getting paid he’s a SD :p But I definitely feel more like a gf/bf and could see myself spending more time with him than I would with other arrangements basically because I like him. The upstairs was ok… great view, but really small, I MEAN TINY – the patio is bigger then the inside part – it will be nicer when the pool is open and it’s warm so everyone goes on the patio :) I’ll be in the pool myself I’m a little fish :p We stayed on the patio ourselves because it was quieter and he gave me his jacket so I wasn’t cold at all (such a gentleman :p ) and that way I could point out the building I live in. I would have slept over if it wasn’t for him catching a plane in the morning, but that and I don’t really like sleeping over at peoples places :S :S I’m not a cuddlier :p I like all the covers to myself and I roll and kick a lot so I’m assuming I’m not the best person to sleep with period. :p .

    I guess it’s ok if I see both at them at once b/c i don’t have sex with the other one… he’s too old and is against viagra, what eves works for me. I just wouldn’t want to be sleeping with two different men because it’s not fair, and I guess I should give the one I was seeing before the benefit of the doubt but I really don’t share anything in common with him while my new one and I have so much fun :(

  114. Michael Alleycat says:

    Blog Gods – can you please email me? I have a request. Thanks.

  115. Blog Gods says:

    Michael – you have mail :-)

  116. Kindred Spirit says:

    CardsFanSD~ I plan to share my artistic and crafty talents with that special man on occasion…an oil or acrylic painting, drawing, baked goodies, a framed photograph of great scenery on a trip we take together, a crocheted blanket…whatever strikes my fancy to show my appreciation to him in a personal way that he’d enjoy and love. :D But then, I’ve always been a gift-giver. My top two “Love Languages” are gifts and words of affirmation.

    Depends on the girl, you, and the arrangement, I suppose, but that’s me! ^_^

  117. cleo says:

    Kindred: and if he were married?

  118. Cali SB says:

    lol @ post from “Blog Gods”

    RE: Profile Photos/Hidden Photos — my issue with this is when I had a private photo (because I had friends in it unable to crop) I was just getting a flurry of private photo requests without any messages before the request. It really bothered me and I felt very objectified — which I suppose partially comes with being an SB, I really didn’t like how it made me feel.

  119. cleo says:

    jessie: you’re welcome, i have a funny memory :)
    .
    torontoblondie: well shoogar shoes used to say that you need to remember to “valet your heart” and really you’re in an ideal position since you don’t sleep with your older man right?

    just be careful and wait to see how it is when the initial glow wears off, sounds like you have a winner and i’m happy for you but i’m cautious by nature in some ways…

  120. Anna Molly says:

    Morning everyone! :D

  121. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars! Hey AnnaMolly!
    Hope everyone enjoyed thier weekend.

  122. CardsFanSD says:

    Good morning Anna Molly :-)

    Hope everyone’s week is off to a good start…

  123. Anna Molly says:

    Hey y’all! :D
    I’m making a grocery list…yay! lol
    I hate going to the store, really, I hate it, but, it’s one of those things you can’t get out of. :D

  124. Michael Alleycat says:

    Morning all … recovering from the Dad and kids hike yesterday afternoon … it was 98 degrees.

    This week, hmmm. Having dinner with IRL pot, it’s her birthday on Thursday. Do I bring a present, if we have only met twice for casual lunches? Bunch of flowers? (a bit awkward, as we will be at a restaurant).

  125. Kindred Spirit says:

    Cleo~ Kindred: and if he were married?

    Same answer: …an oil or acrylic painting, drawing, baked goodies, a framed photograph of great scenery on a trip we take together, a crocheted blanket…whatever strikes my fancy to show my appreciation to him in a personal way that he’d enjoy and love. ;)

    Only difference is, it’d be more discreet: he’d enjoy the goodies when with me or, if he has an office his wife rarely/never visits, he can display my gifts to him there if he wishes. Every situation is different so it’d be about being resourceful and creative in the actual gift and presentation.

    And of course I’d be sensitive gauging his comfort-level regarding any of it. However, if nothing else, he’d surly appreciate the thought and presentation I put into it, even if he declines to keep a gift from me or take it with him. His surprised and pleased reaction would make me happy enough! :D

  126. Anna Molly says:

    Michae – ING

  127. Anna Molly says:

    Michae – IMHO- I think that flowers would be perfect! Wha
    t a great way to start something …. right? Hopevyou have a nice time! :)

  128. GenuineSD says:

    @Michael How about a gift certificate to a nice Day Spa ?

  129. CardsFanSD says:

    Regarding photos: for those that are comfortable showing their face, in the public photos, I *always* prefer to see more than one, different angles. Gives a much better idea of what they look like than a single photo. Each person is different, but I that’s me. 2-3 face shots, one full length shot — that’s my ideal.

    Regarding gifts: thanks for the responses.. that was nice to know.

  130. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Who said it could snow today?!? Brrrrrr and Grrrrrr

    Michael – I think it would be a wonderful gesture! I like the gift card idea GenuineSD proposed.

    Hello sugars! I’m buried in a thesis and a little family drama that can be draining. I can’t wait for my life to return to normal!!!

  131. Dallasbaby says:

    Michael Alleycat – I think you should get something like a bottle of her favorite perfume, Something she can slip into her purse.

  132. Dallasbaby says:

    On the photo subject : I would think it would be a good idea to look like the photos posted . Some guys like thick legs and some like thin. Some guys like long hair and some like short. You want to find a guy who is a good match that fits you. If you post picture perfect photos the man will be stuck on that “look” and if you show up looking different it could be a problem. Kinda like when you see the airbrushed playmates then see them in person. :(

  133. Anna Molly says:

    sorry for all the typos eveyone. I’m not use to my phone yet…

  134. Michael Alleycat says:

    @Genuine – nice idea, Spa gift card, I think I’ll do that. Plus some flowers, but I’ll leave them in the car.

    Re perfume – I don’t know her well enough yet to discover her favourite perfume!! I don’t think she wears it actually, she is a Pilates instructor for post-rehab clients and works from home and a studio, studying part-time, has 2 kids, pets etc etc…. don’t think she has time for perfume…..

  135. Honey says:

    A $50and up am ex giftcard works everywhere!! Just my two cents.

  136. LASB says:

    collegeGirl – That seems weird that the dude would get all pissy about you having your friend come stay with you. It wasn’t like you had some other pot SD over or something. And then for him to subtract $100 from what isn’t even that much to begin with. He sounds petty, so whatever. NEXT!!! I’m glad you’re safe, and it’s sounds like you got a pretty good education out of it, at least.

  137. SouthernGent2 says:

    Catching up with the board just a bit. I read a post by Dallasbaby that raises something for discussion. Does the new WYP site cut into the potential SB market? After all, seems like a girl could do three or four 100 to 200 dollar dates per week and do okay for herself. Plus she gets a lot of free meals or entertainment on top of it. And then she could just pass on possible SB deals unless she found someone that she really liked, plus he was willing to make things very generous for her. I can certainly see some girls taking the paid date option, but nothing past that.

  138. Honey says:

    and is three hundred dollars an okay price for a sugarbaby to pay to get her daddy a promise ring? I don’t wanna be too cheap …

  139. Dallasbaby says:

    A man from WYP asked me what my favorite perfume was and he had it shipped overnight. I thought it was great !

  140. Dallasbaby says:

    SouthernGent2 – The WYP guys I notice if they pay for the date they are just wanting to meet for a drink. No fancy dinners or anything……at least so far !

  141. cleo says:

    not a chance she wears perfume, she will have far too many clients who are sensitive to it….

    or at least that’s my experience

  142. Dallasbaby says:

    Honey- I have no clue about the ring. I think that is out of my realm of knowledge and not so much a sugar baby / Sugar daddy topic so I am lost on that one.

  143. Honey says:

    I just saw this band in a pawn shop, white gold, only 10k, but actual little diamonds, not as plain as some of the others we have been looking at. Just a thought..

  144. SouthernGent2 says:

    Dallasbaby – have you had a lot of offers on WYP?

  145. Lisa says:

    Houston guys on WYP are not willing to pay 150-200 for a date. I’ve got tons of winks and as many rejections for asking for the amount. Most seem to want to pay 10-20 dollars and there ideal date seems to be a daylong event. I’d rather stay home than waste an entire day with a cheapskate. And again what happens after the first date as so many of these guys have more than one relationship option.

    Just seen my mom and daughter off to the museum and lunch. They were going dutch so that leaves me out. Honey I finally got my stuff the other day (UPS kept missing me) tried the yellow and blue bomb last night and it mixed and turned my water green, very pretty.

  146. Lisa says:

    I’ve had about 30 offers in about 10 days but no good ones.

  147. Dallasbaby says:

    SouthernGent2- lots of offers but not many follow ups after.

  148. Honey says:

    Cool Lisa, I love colored bathwater, Sex bomb and big blue!!
    I have had a few offers, had to turn most of them down. I just won’t go under$40 unless he is really cute, and intelligent and funny! I do see it as a bribe to meet guys I would normally not date, for various reasons, but I’m never that desperate for a meal with a jerk! Again ,not saying being broke makes you a jerk but I have my own standards that I am relaxing for the site, but I’m not willing to go below my own standards, just as some guys aren’t willing to pony up 100 bucks to meet and greet me! Goes both ways!!

  149. Lisa says:

    I got the sex bomb one too (the one with the flower inside), my fave was the citris one I had (it was yellow with blue inside).

    With me I have things I need to accomplish like building us some emergency savings and I need a steady sd for that or one that works very fast. My time is limited as I can only meet on my days off as i’m a wreck on my work days, not interested in meeting someone for 10 dollars, not worth the stress and bother to me, and most probably don’t even want to meet in my area. I insist in meeting in my area since i’m the one with a car, with all the great places near me, why would I want to take two buses and the time to go somewhere i’m not even familiar with, let alone be out in the hot Texas sun.

  150. sugarsugar. One guy was kind of rude says:

    I’ve had about 5 offers, all between 100-200. Only one 200 offer. Of the 5 I am really only interested in 2. One claimed to be out of town until this week so we shall see if he flakes and the other is kinda hot and I would date him in real life. Another guy was kind of rude in the negotiations so I have nexted him and another had a profile up at SA and just sounded so stupid I couldn’t bring myself to go on a date with him. A few guys winked at me whose salaries were under 50K and I proposed a $100 date and they rejected the offer. That’s fine since I am primarily doing this to look for a pot SD

    Southerngent- I suppose an SB could very well just go on WYP dates if she really likes first dates. I am not a fan as it’s sort of stressful for me getting ready for a blind date. And I am curious to see if these guys will only want to meet for drinks if they are paying for the date. I did have one ask me to pick a restaurant and I will probably pick a place that is not too pricey since he is paying for the date as well

  151. sugarsugar says:

    oopsie, sorry, some of my text wound up in my handle

  152. Dallasbaby says:

    I do think WYP is a good way to cut the BS and get everyone to meet. Sadly, most guys back out after the offer is made . I guess it saves the stress of meeting a guy who is not as serious.

  153. Lisa says:

    I am getting so many crazy offers, 19 year guys who work at video stores that want to take me back to their house to guys from other countries. Most have blank info and chose all the relationship options.

  154. Dallasbaby says:

    OMG Lisa, an 18 yr old asked me out from the site also and not its just non stop texting from him ! grrrrr

  155. Lisa says:

    and you know i’m 45, i’m not interested in boys. I guess I need to change my profile to say i’m not into anyone under 50, actually I prefer men 60+ as they seem to “get it”. Of course the funny thing is I can’t get a date on these sites from a 60 year old yet in real life I get him on quite often by young guys, it’s weird, I have had young guys ask me out.

  156. Kindred Spirit says:

    I’m trying out WYP, too, to see if a true SD may be on there. I’ve had several offers and agreed price amounts to conclude, “Yea, let’s meet!”, but still no first date yet. I agree, if they can’t hold to it for the first date, fine with me as I don’t have to waste time then wandering if they are serious. I think for many guys the WYP site is just a game to them…then they chicken out on the actual meeting or simply change their mind. *shrug* Still have a few dates that may still happen, we shall see!

  157. SouthernGent2 says:

    Play hard ball and say you have spoken to a lawyer about the WYP offer, and that he is bound by his offer to pay you provided you show up lol ;-)

  158. Lisa says:

    the thing about the site is that you can’t communicate with them, they just wink and ask how much for a first date and you can only reject or make an offer, no way to communicate from what i’ve seen.

  159. Spawn of Santa says:

    Cali, the pic with the best looking body (which coincidentally also doesn’t have a face in it) shows a different body type than what comes across in other pictures. Assuming it is a picture of you, there’s a clear time line difference between that photo and the rest. The “asshole” probably just wanted to know if you used to be really fit and then gained some weight, or if you used to be heavier and then got lean and ripped, without being quite so forward. You refusal to show more pics was most likely interpreted as the evidence to support scenario 1.
    You look fine either way, but you might want to keep just the recent photos, that way the people looking for the *other* body type don’t feel deceived

  160. LASB says:

    So there is an interesting headling on NPR: Dating Site Match.com Will Now Check Users Against Sex Offender Database
    I have never thought to check the pot SDs against the sex offender database, but given some of the horror stories I’ve seen on the blog, it may be a good idea.

  161. Lucie says:

    I joined WYP a few weeks ago, and I’m getting the impression that a lot of guys are just floating around testing the waters, wondering which girls they could hypothetically snag.
    I’ve had loads of winks, which I’m not really interested in dealing with, and quite a few 100-170 offers. The issue is that few follow up to plan an actual date. Real men take the reigns.
    Maybe in a few months the thrill seekers will have moved on & we’ll have a more genuine pool.

  162. Cali SB says:

    Spawn of Santa, I’m confused, are you talking about my main photo? All of my photos are of me, I don’t see how they look any different. Possibly because I have a bra on in the no-face photo and do not have one on in the dress photo? I’m not understanding what photo you think I look “heavier” in. All of my photos are from the same timeframe — all within 2011. Please explain.

  163. Cali SB says:

    I’m actually really offended right now. So I look “heavier” in all my photos except my first one?? Well, I’m sorry that people on this site seem to think that 106lbs is heavy. I don’t know what I can do short of not eat, which is not going to happen, to get under 100lbs. I have no desire to weigh that little. I’m a size 0. I don’t work out so any photos I look “lean and ripped” are your imagination showing you what you want to see. I am naturally lean and always have been. Just because my pelvic bones are prominate doesn’t mean I am “lean and ripped”.. it means I’m thin. They’re there in the other photos, but my clothes cover them. Seriously, this makes me sick. The fact that this site actually makes me feel bad enough about myself that I am crying over it just isn’t worth it to me. I’m 106lbs, a size 0. What do you want from me? My god.

  164. Cali SB says:

    LASB has met me in person, 2 1/2 weeks ago. Ask her if I’m “heavy” and/or look like my pics.

  165. Rcheck says:

    @Kindred Spirit – I have been catching up on the posts. Yours on ‘Allowance/Arrangement’ was one of the best on the topic I’ve seen. Very well thought out and informative.

    @LASB – Good idea on the Sex Offender DB, and I’m sure they will catch some. Unfortunately it is child’s play to use assumed names on Match.com as well as most other sites. So the net has some good sized holes in it. Every little bit helps though.

  166. Rcheck says:

    @Honey – Just a heads up. about One in Eight people are allergic to white gold. It’s not a big deal but after a month or so they may develop a rash or peeling skin under the ring. I avoid giving it because if I give someone jewelry that causes them a rash they are going to think I gave them junk, even if I spent good money on it. The odds are way on your side, but you might keep that in the back of your head.

  167. Spawn of Santa says:

    Cali, oh god. i am making no comments on your body type. I’m just saying that there’s a CLEAR difference between the body in the pic without the head and the body in all the other pics.
    I’m sure you are a lovely lady, but assuming it is actually your body in the pic one, there’s easily 15 lbs difference between that and the rest of the pics. I’m pointing it out to you so you would understand why people ask to see more pictures. If you no longer look like that, or if it was some magic lighting/editing/sucking in/whatever and you don’t usually look like that – just remove the pic.
    THAT as your main pic does not support your marketing effort.

  168. Spawn of Santa says:

    but if you want my opinion, i would get rid of the photo in the mirror, there are some stains on the bottom of it; and the pic(s) in black dress – very unflattering.

  169. CardsFanSD says:

    @Cali – Um… having seen your pictures, I have no clue what the other people have referenced, as you are slim, and beautiful, and that is all I see.

  170. Spawn of Santa says:

    and i would use the silver/gray top pic as the main one

  171. Cali SB says:

    Spawn of Santa, seriously you’re even more of an asshole than the person in the message. Maybe you are blind, but there is not a CLEAR 15 lb difference in that photo. In fact, it was taken ONE DAY APART of the second photo. I’m 106lbs, I fluctuate maybe 3 lbs depending on the day of the month, I have NEVER been 15 lbs heavier. And as I said that IS my photo, so I would appreciate you stop being a pompous asshole and incinuating it might not be. It doesn’t take a genius to see that the background (wall, bedding) is the same as the pic in the dress. There is no magic or editing in that photo, it was taken with the same camera as the following photo. It was in the mirror as most of my photos are. I took it directly from the camera and onto my computer. I don’t need to photoshop my pictures, I am 106 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just because you can’t see my stomach in my other photos doesn’t mean that I am 15lbs heavier. Look at the photo in the gray V-neck tshirt, my stomach is flat as a board! Seriously get your head out of your ass, you’re an absolute asshole.

  172. Lisa says:

    Cali SB all of your pics are very nice and I don’t see any weight difference in any of them, you look slim in all of them. I can’t see how anyone could call you fat and I just don’t see a weight difference in any of them.

  173. Cali SB says:

    Spawn of Satan — I really don’t care what you think. You’re obviously an asshole and don’t deserve any woman’s time of day, the fact that you would talk to ANY woman like that. Good luck finding an anorexic bimbo. I hope for your sake she doesn’t have an opinion on anything and can be easily brainwashed. I can only imagine what a prize like you looks like.. I have no doubt you are “A Few Extra Pounds”, balding, with a porn stache. The girls must be flocking to you if not already for your shining personality!

  174. Cali SB says:

    Thank you Lisa. And Cards. Some people are just heartless assholes. People like that are the type who have kids that grow up puking up all their meals and cutting themselves at night because they’ll never live up to their parents’ unrealistic expectations. Guaranteed he’s a single man because no woman has ever lived up to his unrealistic views of the perfect woman.

  175. Melysa says:

    I’ve been on this site for about a week and these are my thoughts: 3 men seemed serious and flaked when I suggested we chat on the phone or Skype. Today I got an email from an SD hick from Tennessee letting me know, “Jenny Craig is having a sale and I should look into it.” (to which I replied, “The 80′s called and they want their gay mustache and mullet back. Love Jenny Craig.”

    Wow, where the hell are all these gentlemen sugar daddies I read about or is it all a myth?

    Are other SB finding this site to be frustrating and a little insulting? I’d really like to hear from the women in their 30′s and up who are college educated and have established careers.

  176. Cali SB says:

    Melysa — I think by my last few posts you’ll see I’m rather frustrated and insulted. My profile is linked to my name if you want to look at my profile. Your response to the TN hick made me laugh, thank you, I needed that.

  177. Lisa says:

    Cali SB spawn of santa is a female blogger , that’s even worse

    ok i’m going to exit this topic before I get mud slung at me. You have nothing to worry about on your pictures, I live in Texas and believe me i’m seen fat, people with 3 foot wide behinds, women with thighs as wide as my torso. I must be really obese as I weigh 110.

  178. Lisa says:

    Melysa, i’m mid 40′s but not college educated. Living in Texas i’ve seen my far share of hicks. The regular sites are the worst, seems like every guy is in a cowboy hat, complete turn off to me. I don’t care much for the Texas twang either, i’m originally from the midwest. I don’t know how many times i’ve had guys want to go country and western dancing with me and well, that is not my thing.

    Gotta love these guys who are so critical and could use a little makeover themselves.

  179. CardsFanSD says:

    @Melysa – ha, excellent retort :-) Finding the right person, whether SB or SD, is no simple or quick task, unless you are incredibly fortunate. But they are out there. Good luck.

  180. WCSD says:

    CaliSB – I wouldn’t worry too much about what some people say, whether it is a SD who feels ‘hurt’ or a blogger who many just ignore their posts now. You are hot, and in very good shape. But in the end, all that matters is what you think. No one else makes you mad, only you make yourself mad when reacting to others….so simply don’t react. People like to stir things up just to see the ‘carnage’ they create. Ignore and move on.

  181. Dallasbaby says:

    I have a second date tomorrow with a guy from WYP to get an arrangement going. He said I can stay on the site until we are positive we will be an item. Not sure what that means.

  182. Dallasbaby says:

    Never heard back from the first date who was 63 but the second date is 35. We are starting off with just a one month arrangement. He is married.

  183. Kindred Spirit says:

    Reach the BeachSB~ I hope someday to be as lucky as you with your successes, though an awesome person like you probably never needed luck!! You go, girl! :D

    CinDC, cleo, Rcheck~ Thank you for the kind comments regarding my post about allowance. That’s what this blog is/should be about- giving insight and helping each other out with ideas for a positive experience in the sugar world! :)

    Ahhh…just another manic Monday…I do wish it were Sunday, for that’s my “fun-day”…cuz yea, I don’t have to “run-day”. lol (tweaked the song words on purpose, being silly)

  184. Intelligentsia says:

    How soon should the benefits in an arrangement be made clear? The benefits should be made clear before meeting, otherwise you are both wasting your time. If the benefits don’t match up, there’s no point in meeting.

    Sugar Rules: Can your SD or SB date others? What are your sugar boundaries? It really depends on the arrangement and the person… my first SD wanted me to date guys my own age while I was with him… he wasn’t looking for the love of his life and we had a very clear arrangement. However, my last SD had a serious problem with me seeing anyone but him. He would constantly google my name and email address to see if I had profiles on any sites, he would interrogate me, etc… it became too much to bear and because of his constant insecurity, it was no longer fun and I ended it. If I’m happy in my arrangement, I don’t need to have a “normal” boyfriend. Sugar life IS my life.

    Are you keen on having an ‘occasional’ sugar daddy or sugar baby? I have had occasional arrangements with the same person… on and off, when he isn’t in a relationship, so yes…

    Are you looking for an allowance based sugar relationship? Yes, absolutely… I can’t invest with clothes or cars, but cash will buy stocks and houses!!

    What are the advantages, or disadvantages, of an allowance based arrangement? The advantages are obvious: control over my own life, finances, etc. The disadvantages are that some men aren’t comfortable with it after a while, but the solution for that is simple: pay at the beginning of the month once trust is established and forget about it!!

  185. Kindred Spirit says:

    Dallasbaby, he’s telling you whether you can stay on the site or not? None of his business, imho. If he wants security in knowing he’s the only one, well, it’s still too early to be saying things like that (and even then it should be a kind request, not a statement, per his decision for you)! O_o

  186. Spawn of Santa says:

    Cali SB, the problem is that i CAN see your stomach in the other photos.
    But whatever, i was just trying to help you find your *FIRST* SD, but it seems that you would prefer meaningless ego stroking rather than constructive criticism.

  187. Dallasbaby says:

    I asked him if he wanted me to get off the site and he said no. Saying we are doing a trial for now . He also said his last baby wanted more of a real relationship that he can not give …so they parted ways. I am worried about one issue though, he asked what form of birth control I use. Please let us hope he is not getting at what I think he is getting at.

  188. Cali SB says:

    Spawn of SATAN — Get over yourself. My stomach is flat as a board, always has been. The only photo you might THINK you see my stomach in is in the green dress where I had my back arched leaning into my group of friends, which is cropped out. How stupid can you be? Does it make you feel better to cut people down because you’re a fat cow yourself? Seriously, no one wants you here. Get lost. The point of this blog is to help each other, not be a stupid bitch to someone for no reason.

  189. SA Blog Administrator says:

    Blog drama and personal attacks are not new, when it happens it’s not the first and it won’t be the last time. Cast of characters can come and go in this blog and there will always be fireworks. It usually starts off with people having differing opinions, then somewhere along the way some people interpreted things one way vs another, then it gets into a heated argument with people taking sides, then it doesn’t take much to spiral into name calling and personal attack, then people’s feeling get hurt, then….. well you get the idea.

    I think we can all agree this is a very active and sometimes entertaining blog. In a group of this size there is certainly a wide range of opinions which is very healthy. We can’t control how people choose to expresses themselves, so the only control we have is how we choose to react and respond to them.

    Here are some suggestions that could make our experience in this blog more constructive and enjoyable:

    1. Think before you hit the “submit” button. Ask yourself, how will my post be perceived by others? As I have said before, our reputation in this blog is our words, and it’s easy for others to see what we’re made of. If you disagree with something, do so with respect and class.

    2. Ignore the flame. In every online forum I have been a part of there are people who take pleasure in spewing off flame bait to get others all worked up. Don’t take the bait! The more you respond the messier it gets.

    3. Have a sense of humor and don’t take yourself too seriously. And by the same token, don’t take the other person too seriously either. Personal attack hurts, but in the grand scheme of things is it a big deal? Do we really have anything to prove to anyone here?

    In addition, please refrain from posting personally identifiable information of others, such name, location, place of employment, etc.

    Discussing differing opinions in a constructive manner is always welcome in the blog. However, personal attacks and name calling are not. We’re here to share our experiences and learn from each other, so let’s focus on doing that!!

    Blog Moderation Process

    When the need arises the blog moderation team will post a warning to ask everyone to refrain from inciting flame and personal attacks. Offending comments may be removed, and after two warnings the repeat offenders may be banned from posting. As a last resort, commenting on the blog may be temporarily suspended if it becomes necessary.

  190. Honey says:

    cali you look fine, a little on the skinny side but in Cali, people like that!! Your shape is NOT fat. Why do skinny white girls love to call other skinny white girls fat? As a matter of fact when, in the past, people,guys have mentioned my shape, weight or whatever, I tell them if you are looking for a woman who you can brag about being a zero, look elsewhere because I will NEVER be a zero… double meaning in that message. That said, the red dress does spread out your figure, making it seem wider to ignorant people who really know nothing about jpgs and such. And Don’t let Spawn get to you. We know nothing about her except what she says…

  191. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Cali SB – in all honesty, aside from the comment that one pic appeared to one person to be heavier, I really think SS was being constructive. Perhaps the way she said it hit a nerve, but you are by no means overweight and you obviously know this. Put your confidence back on and try not to let it get to you. You are truly a beautiful woman and one person”s opinion is strictly that…an opinion.

    Rcheck…Welcome! Hilarious come back to your rude potential! Don’t worry, there are amazing men here! It just takes time to meet them.

    Kindred- Thanks…I’m a lucky lady!

  192. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Intelligentsia- Welcome!

  193. Honey says:

    and to all you newbie wannabe’s (if that is not you,ignore this post!!!) I am a black and overweight(by white californian standards) female who is making out like a bandit with this sugarbaby thing. I get by by using my brains and my charms. I got a couple of physical things going for me too. I THINK.
    Of course it helps to be young, cute and skinny…that helps with everything. But Confidence is the sexiest thing YOU can bring into a sb/sd relationship.
    So you are not skinny,make time to exercise, just do it, you have a goal, don’t you? And it will make you feel better as well as look better. It’s not for weenies. If you can’t look at yourself, naked, in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself,that you are beautiful and you deserve to be treated with respect, don’t get in the game. Because if you don’t believe it, neither will a daddy.And the game will eat you up…So recap, don’t have to be,young, thin,blonde to be the best sugar baby you can be!!

  194. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Having blonde moments…lots of them!

    Melysa – Welcome and excellent reply! Rcheck – I’m sure you would have come up with something as well!

  195. Dallasbaby says:

    I am a bit confused over an email I just got from wyp. Are some guys looking for a wife on these sites? He wrote: I don’t think we are a good match based on our profiles.

    I read through your profile and am not looking for a SD/SB relationship. I do consider myself a very generous and supportive person, but the idea of paying an allowance or a formal type of financial agreement to be in a relationship is not for me. What financial security I have built up will be used ultimately to find the right person and build a future together.

    I joined this site to meet higher quality women than what is available on some of the other sites and to show I was serious by offering to pay for the first date. if you are not open to more traditional dating than one based only on money or gifts there is no need to waste our time — life is to short.

    Good luck and I hope you find what you are looking for.

  196. cleo says:

    omg i just got maybe the funniest SA email i will ever receive.

    yeah maybe ever… wish i could quote it *grin*

  197. LASB says:

    Honey – I am black and overweight by white california standards also. haha!

    Cali – Don’t take it so personally. I actually have to agree with both of you on this one. Yes, that you are very thin and hot. But also I agree with Spawn that your pics don’t do you justice. I.e. Having met you in person, you are much hotter than your pics! And like what everyone else said, delete the red one. It’s just bad lighting/angle/photography, but if people don’t know you or anything about photography, they won’t know the difference.

  198. cleo says:

    cali sb: truly i swear i think you misunderstood what spawn was saying; you are clearly beautiful but your pictures don’t actually all look like the same body. truly i read her words absolutely differently than you did and i really don’t think she was critiquing your body. as someone who can be beautiful of F’UGLY in photos depending on a millimetre of angle i’m acutely aware of this and i think i know what she means.

    there is that one pic that is totally distorted until you click on it… the one in the red? that one makes you look heavy IN THE THUMBNAIL but not the pic itself, there is also a pic of you with your face turned to the camera and the seeking arrangement watermark distorts your body and makes you look a little funny. the rest all work okay in thumbnail and in big.

    i think you have too many photos but i also think you have a gorgeous body and that anyone who doesn’t see that is nuts…

    truly i think this is just a misunderstanding. personally i would leave up your first photo, your fifth photo which is a FAR better crop of your third photo and your sixth. the rest don’t make you look as gorgeous as you are – and spawn is right, photo six (silver shirt mirror shot) is really good.

    the one in the red dress? SUPER HOT but you have to crop the thumbnail to a square because it looks all distorted and weird or else take it down. like you could crop a square that is your feet and legs for the thumbnail… or below the nose down to the hips or whatever

    but no one is saying you’re fat or anything but a babe, but man i can show you pics of me where i look like the ANTI girl in the photo on my profile… we are just saying too many photos, pick two or three that are hot and show them to advantage.

    *hugs* babe, it’s the internet, don’t let it get to you!

  199. LASB says:

    Cleo – Cough up that email! You can’t put it out there and then leave us hangin’.

  200. sugarsugar says:

    Dallasbaby-

    I don’t think WYP promotes itself as being a sugar daddy site. It promotes itself as being a place for generous/wealthy men, who are not having any luck meeting attractive women at the other dating sites, to have more success. So I am not surprised that you received the e-mail you did. He’s saying that women at the other sites are ordinary and he expected to meet more attractive interesting women here as we are all supposed to be gorgeous.

    I’m quoting from the front page of WYP “You have high standards and you won’t settle for less. You’re willing to pay to date beautiful, gorgeous or sexy people.”

    I’m glad they threw in the “or sexy people” because no one would describe me as gorgeous but I am told that I am sexy.

    I would compare this site more to seekingmillionaire with a guarantee the women will get compensated for a first date. My guess is the members are made up of 1/3 men like the guy who wrote you….. those looking for something long term and only want someone an 8 or higher, 1/3 are sugar daddies and the other 1/3 are men just there for a laugh or to waste our time.

    I am very specific in my profile and say that I am mostly looking for an SD but am open to something more substantial

  201. Dallasbaby says:

    sugarsugar- I guess i just looked at the video that said a guy who is willing to pay you for a date might be more serious. Serious to what? anyone who is paying can not think a wife could be found I would think. They just do not go together how I see it. Sooo confused !

  202. LASB says:

    Has anyone had the same guy on SA also email you on WYP? It would be funny if there was a 10-20k SA guy that offered you $20 on WYP. WYP may be a good way to spot fakes.

  203. LASB says:

    Sorry, I should specify – WYP may be a good way to spot SA fakes.

  204. sugarsugar says:

    Melysa:

    I just read your post about being frustrated and frankly it made me laugh (not at you) but just because 1 week is like a nanosecond in the sugar world.

    I am over 40, college educated with a career in transition which is why I am here. Here as in I’ve been here about 2 years. I have had a few sprinklings of sugar but none in the last year. I get virtually no e-mails anymore as I live in a major city but not NY or LA. I think I have written to every SD in my city and nearby. They do not seem to want a SB over the age of 40. I think for many the thought is just absurd that I would even try. Every now and then a man pops up who is not superficial and likes a woman closer to their age but they usually just wind up wasting my time.

    Basically these men say they are interested and then start acting flaky before we meet. Then I get the “I’m going out of town for 2 weeks” e-mail and to be patient, THEY DEFINITELY ARE INTERESTED”. 2 weeks go by…no word. I write and ask how they are and no response. They either chickened out or realized they really don’t want an SB over the age of 40 but they are too chicken to just tell you that.

    In my experience if an SD doesn’t want to meet after 1-2 e-mails it ain’t gonna happen.

    I don’t give up easily though. Also I don’t have any parameters time- wise. I did okay before I got on this site and will just leave my profile up as it doesn’t cost me anything.

    I really do think it’s only a small percentage of women at this site that have any luck. To be successful I don’t think you need to be model-beautiful, but you need to be in good shape, attractive and smart and confident. And if you are under the age of 30 you will probably be beating them off with a stick.

  205. sugarsugar says:

    Dallasbaby-

    I don’t know. I wonder how the SDs here feel about the idea of finding a woman at SA who is wife-material. In a lot of cases the men are married and are cheating on their wives with us. Are we tainted in their mind? Are we okay to have as sugar babys but not as wives because of how we met and the fact that money was exchanged?

    I think WYP is a bit more ambiguous as I have friends who would never be with a married older sugar daddy but the idea of WYP is a bit easier for them to wrap their brains around. They find the concept of SA a bit too escortish for them but getting 10-200 for a first date is not as tainted as we are just having dinner or drinks with no promise it will go any further than that.

    The thing is I think we need to be very up front with these guys at WYP and what we want and find out what they expect.

  206. Reach the Beach SB says:

    sugarsugar – This 44 year old is doing just fine <3 There is room for everyone!

    I do tend to favor men who are 50+ in age. Men my age just don't respond well to me…then again, they are probably looking for the 20-30 age range and that seems typical. As for them going out of town, I've learned to a) stay in touch using humor and little tidbits just to touch base and b) don't take it personally. I've renewed contact with some more than a few months after the initial contact with positive results.

    It definitely takes time, patience and a really thick skin!

  207. Lisa says:

    It is possible for a woman over 40 to have some luck on this site although it is a tough journey. I have had 4 sds in the past 3 years, 2 were lowkey short term and two provided me a good amount of support. One last several months and I was able to eat well and shop alot but he had other motives I was not interested in whereas my last one only lasted 6 weeks but did so much. He was older, super educated (Phd), CEO, an very sweet. Upon dropping me off after our first date, the parking lot of my apartments was full of police cars. He called me when he got home and got a chance (he was married and had to be discreet) and told me to start looking for a new apartment. Of course I really didn’t take him seriously but within 4 weeks of meeting I was moving into a new place close to my family and my rent was paid in advance since my credit is horrible and I didn’t meet the income requirements by about 1200 a month (income requirements are 2200 and I barely make 1k before taxes) anyway in the 6 weeks I knew him, we had weekly lunch dates, he got me the apartment, gave me a good allowance in which I got a macbook and took my daughter on a shopping trip for her birthday as well as got some stuff for my new place.

    I am not super educated (highschool and business school) and I don’t have a fancy job (I do physical labor) and i’m not young but I have done somewhat well on the sd sites, much better than I did on the serious dating sites (omg some of the people I met on there, the ones that forgot to mention they have 4 kids, have been married several times, heavy smokers, etc). Haven’t had any luck in over a year although I dont’ give up. I mean what is the alternative really? Settle for some guy my age who is still raising children? No thanks, done that already, now i’m ready for my own time but it seems guys my age are just now getting married or still raising children.

  208. sugarsugar says:

    I’m glad you had some success Lisa and wish you the best.

  209. sugarsugar says:

    Hey Reach-

    I forget where you live. Are you in NYC or LA?

    I recall when I first signed up 2 years ago I was overwhelmed by the responses and thought I could be picky. I turned down some genuine SDs and now I really regret it.

    I think all the publicity the site has gotten has been a double edged sword. It has brought more SDs to the site but unfortunately I don’t think many of them know what they are doing here. And of course it has also brought more SBs.

  210. Lisa says:

    Thanks sugarsugar. Everytime I walk down a street in my neighborhood and feel safe and unharrased, everytime I look outside my windows and see the mall and the Herman tower all lit up in seasonal colors (right now it’s pink for easter) I am greatful to my last sd who got me out of the ditch. I used to be a prisoner after dark in my old neighborhood (robberies and murders were commonplace and still are) but now i’ve got quality neighbors and the apartment manangement has a no tolerance policy for criminal records and sex offenders.

  211. Reach the Beach SB says:

    sugarsugar – The lovely midwest! I put Chicago, but I live a little south. I find that being free to travel is helpful.

  212. Honey says:

    LASB, I’m sure you do just fine…
    Now where are the Latina Sugarbabes? And the Asian? Represent! east coast,west coast,Jamaica,Tonga and Guam!! Shout out!! Any Ticas in the house? Holla!! Pura Vida!!

  213. Spawn of Santa says:

    Honey, where did I call Cali fat? SHE CALLED HERSELF FAT. I can’t be responsible for people’s insecurities.
    I guess it is ok to describe another woman as “anorexic bimbo”, but pointing out that someone looks bigger in some photos is a OMG a horrible insult settled only by collective mud slinging.
    If you gals weren’t SO self-consious about your own weight, you wouldn’t be misconstruing what people tell you.
    Also what do you mean you know what i say about myself? I don’t say anything about myself on the blog, so what is it exactly that you “know”?

  214. Spawn of Santa says:

    also if you notice, i recommended that she *keeps* the red picture, so i must have not thought she looked bad in it, hm?

  215. Kindred Spirit says:

    Dallasbaby~ If I see that a guy on WYP has “Mutual Beneficial Arrangement, etc” check-marked on his profile of what he is seeking, then I know that he’s at least open-minded with that concept. Some probably check that box (or just all of them) not paying any attention or caring, though I’m hoping the ignorant ones are in the minority. If they have questions about what an arrangement is, I can always refer them to this site or the book.

    Heh, come to think of it, I’ve yet to see a guy with ONLY the “friendship/activity partner” box checked. Would feel too odd to be paid for a first date to only be a friend possibility for him with his having no interest in more. Annnnyyway, WYP is a new site and all, but I can tell it is open for all dating types.

    I had one guy say upfront he might have more than a few drinks on our first date, and need to sober up at my place before driving home. Wow, what a way to make a first impression to me and to invite yourself over! >_<

  216. Alleycat says:

    @KIndred – “one guy say upfront he might have more than a few drinks on our first date, and need to sober up at my place before driving home”. Lmao, love it.

    Hey, at least he’s trying. Acknowledging his issues, but putting it out there as well. Points for trying!

  217. CardsFanSD says:

    @sugarsugar — regarding SDs & “wife material”… I think it’s a highly situational question, but I would say, I think that yes, there are SDs that would consider someone they met on SA wife material — definitely. And some who wouldn’t even consider the possibility.

  218. Dallasbaby says:

    Yes, but I would think before he would make an offer he would read my profile that says in great detail what I seek . We already had a date set to meet and reservations made.

  219. Clemence says:

    I think it is important to remember (as Honey said) that you don’t have to be modelesque to be a SB. Some SDs want only size 0s (and I respect that as I certainly have my own set of criteria I have no interest in compromising on), but many others are significantly more flexible. I find that those who make the tackiest comments about weight tend to be fakes anyway. I’m doing fine with a great arrangement as a size 6 (hey, I work what I’ve got!), and yes, I could probably lose a few pounds if I wanted to, but ultimately my married sugar daddy thinks I’m hot, and that’s all that matters—–finding the right guy who appreciates what YOU have to offer. It can take a long time and be frustrating, but it only takes one. That said, Cali SB has an awesome figure and I can’t believe some lucky SD hasn’t snapped her up yet :)

  220. CinDC says:

    When on a first date last night, it went very well. We shared 5 hours together over dinner and drinks discussing eachothers lives with a healthy and fun back and forth banter. This is the gentleman I have mentioned that does see other women as well. Has anyone been in this situation? Have any advice? I have told him I want to be clear on what his intentions are before we go much further.

  221. Muse says:

    Dallas- when men ask me that, I smile sweetly and say “condoms” That way there is no confusion as to my expectations.

    I gave up on WYP and deleted my profile last week. I just don’t get the feeling I’m going to find a great SD on there but I also don’t have the patience for all the bs back-and-forth and cheapie offers.

    ReachtheBeach- NYC would love to have you if you’d consider moving here. I’m just putting it out there….

  222. the old fat guy fron the texas. dinner with james says:

    would like to fly you and canada down to texas this summer to stay at the beach

  223. the old fat guy fron the texas. dinner with james says:

    meant t say RTB. would like to fly

  224. Clemence says:

    Re: Muse, while what each SB is comfortable with may vary, I would never engage in unprotected intimacy with a SD unless the arrangement is monogamous and he is prepared to frequently (every few months) exchange test results. Even in such circumstances, I probably wouldn’t do it. As far as married SDs go, it would be ridiculous for one to expect intimacy without protection since a) the arrangement is not monogamous by definition and b) the whole point is that he is cheating on his wife, so how do you know he’s not cheating on you with another SB?

  225. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!! What a long day!

    the old fat guy fron the texas. dinner with james~ is this our old friend? Am I Canada?

    LASB!!! hey girlie…

    Ok gonna try and catch up a little….

  226. SD Guru says:

    Another day, another blog drama… with the usual instigator, and the willing target to take the bait. Thanks for cleaning up the mess!!

    @Beach_Girl – Yes that’s him making an appearance after more than a year!!

    Just exchanged emails with a porn star on SA. Should I laugh or cry about it? :mrgreen:

  227. LASB says:

    Guru – How did you know her profession? Did you recognize her from something you’ve seen? ;)

  228. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Old fat guy – We’re in! When?! Beach Girl and I would love to join you! Did you see that James is getting married? You still have my yahoo address.

    Guru – please share!

    Muse – Very, very tempting!

  229. cleo says:

    am i the only one wondering who ‘old fat guy’ is??

  230. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Cleo – he came to the Chicago meet.

  231. Honey says:

    LASB -That makes it even funnier!! We need to make it an Asian Occasion! I count asian as “of color”and I agree with the other black lady, Go get you some!!
    “On a different,but same topic,I stole this quote from a friend,
    What is “THICK”? (and I mean no disrespect). I think “thick” (is really an insult) just like (redbone) or (chocolate). However, if u accept being “thick”, “redbone” or “chocolate” more power to u. But those who accept “thick”, wouldn’t that consist of a flat stomach, cute hips and able to pull up your jeans over a cute butt? If you don’t possess that quality. You’re fat. #explainthicktomecausemaybeimwrong”
    Not mine,but I thought this was hilarious and by the way if you are thick,whatever that may be, make it work for you!!
    Lasb- I’m sorry, but your body type will never be “thick” you have to work with want god gave ya, right!! lol!! but I love ya, anyway!! oh and Good Morning all!!

  232. SD Guru says:

    @LASB
    Guru – How did you know her profession? Did you recognize her from something you’ve seen?

    It’s not the first time I’ve come across a porn star on SA and it won’t be the last. She sent me a link to a site that advertised her “services” as well as other porn star’s. The interesting part is that in addition to the usual per hour/day rates, the site also advertised a “sugarbaby matchmaking” service:

    If you’re a successful gentleman looking for the perfect relationship with one of the world top pornstars, we have exactly what you want. Our ladies are also available for gentlemen Seeking an Arrangement for NSA, Discreet affairs,Travel Companion, or just Special times.

    There is a pictorial testimonial of a Playboy Playmate “playing” with her much older SD on a beach. Is that what we SD’s should aspire to??

  233. Muse says:

    Clemence- I’m not suggesting that anyone behave in any way. My comment was specifically directed at Dallas as a possible way of dealing with that question. I have found that being direct about such things is critical as they’re deal-breakers for me. I absolutely will not have sex without a condom, regardless of where I met the man, the possible allowance, his theoretical vasectomy and/or monogamy.

    ReachtheBeach- Do it! Do it! NYC is Ah-mazing. And while you’re at it, pack LASB in your suitcase. :D

  234. Alleycat says:

    @Cali – Spawn was not criticizing you, she was just giving you her comments and feedback, I am sure there was nothing malicious about it.

    Don’t take it personally, listen to what she had to say and act on it – or not – depending on how you feel. It’s just her comments, and there is no need to get offended or insulted.

  235. LASB says:

    Hi Muse! Even though you stood me up last time, I will still be your friend. BTW, I had a hot, sexy time with your wifey!

    Reach – I’ve been doing the yoga lately, so yes you can squish me into your suitcase between your bikinis, mini skirts, and heels.

  236. Muse says:

    I stood you up? That doesn’t sound like me. Were there last minute plan changes or something? Hm…I wonder what happened….

    Anyway, if you move to NYC, we can hang out all the time. :D

  237. Rcheck says:

    @SD Guru – For some, having a Porn Star SB would be ‘Winning’ – Think Charlie Sheen….

    Now stop! (You’ll get a headache if you do it for too long). For other’s it would be a bit like dating a sex doll. After all, some of them have more plastic in them than a Corvette. They also tend to share the sex doll’s ‘Anything you want’ attitude.

    Where you fall is up to you. :)

  238. LASB says:

    Muse – Nope, no time or venue changes. I believe the excuses was either that you found a man to buy you pizza, or you were too lazy to get dressed and come out, or it was too cold that night, or all of the above, but GG probably has a better memory than me. Or maybe it was her fault b/c she was working so late and that was too late for you. Ok, for you I would move, but only if I can get a 3 hour test drive. I’ll send you a $10 proposition on WYP.

  239. Anna Molly says:

    Hey everyone! Hope y’all are havin’ a nice Wednesday!! :D

    I’ve been watching “Dexter”. What a great show, thank God for Netflix! :D

    Sorry, I haven’t caught up on the blog yet.

    xoxoxo,
    Anna, Molly, or what ever floats your boat :D

  240. The Lone Gunman says:

    Heading for Key West tomorrow; any recommendations for places to go if I can catch any free time in the evening?

    TLG

  241. LASB says:

    TLG – If you’re into history, go to the Hemingway house. It’s very cool, though check the times b/c it may not be open in the evenings.

  242. cleo says:

    what’s in key west?

  243. Honey says:

    pirate booty!!

  244. The Lone Gunman says:

    cleo wrote:

    what’s in key west?

    I have some business to attend to there; as melodramatic as it sounds, I can’t go into it on the open blog.

    TLG

  245. cleo says:

    and here i was expecting “oh you know, sun, sand, surf, scuba”

    lol

  246. Reach the Beach SB says:

    I hope you’re going to go Scuba diving TLG!!! Is it time for Fantasyfest yet??

  247. The Lone Gunman says:

    @Reach the Beach SB:

    If there’s an ocean and I’m near it, you can bet there will be diving.

    Heck, I’ve been known to check out fairly deep puddles beside the road for possibilities!

    TLG

  248. Texasugah says:

    Hey all..

    Lisa – WYP seems to be a bit of horse pucky. Really I think the consensus that guys are there just to see what’s is right. Offers but no takers. Which is really fine because I have other things going on.

    Cali- Girl you look great. Don’t listen to -ish on the blog. You’re not heavy. I hate this kinda crap. What happened to talking to people like human beings? I’m working my way down. I think this blog is going to piss me off tonight.

    WCSD- hear, hear!

    Honey and LASB –
    Not sure how being a black goddess and voluptuous is a joke. So I’m going to leave that alone. I’m hoping that this was all done in jest.

    I’m a beautiful black woman who is actually doing fairly well with the time that I have allotted to be a sugar (that’s really none). Basically, just the summer whenever that gets here. I do plan on making the most of my time.

    I plan on adding a more geisha/courtesan angle to my sugar lifestyle in that I have one sugar that I’m intimate with about twice a month. I’m not dating so.. he’s it. I have two other gentlemen who want to spend time with me but they want basic friendship only. Both have had prostate issues so sex isn’t on the plate. Dinners, theater, plays and other events. I can’t wait to get that rolling. Both are single. I’m overweight, not like Texas big (lisa knows what I mean) but in cali I would be a whale. LOL.

    One piece only.. for now. Zumba and weight lifting.. whoo hoo.

    But anyway, honey is right.. work what you have. For me it’s the excitement of color and education.

    Night all..

  249. Kindred Spirit says:

    Haha, every time my eyes glance over “TLG”!! on the posts above, I want to think, “TGIF”!!

    Wow, ya know, weight really is very individual to each person’s body structure (CaliSB, my fav shot of you IS your first one, so don’t change it! Very sexy). So, um, I’m a size 10 (in both pants and dress-size) and 5’8 1/2″, but you can still easily see my ribs. I categorize myself as an alien, then, if I’m to figure some sort of standard?? Ha, will I ever fit in?? ;) It’s all good, actually building a little muscle over the years can make me that size, so I’ll figure that. *shrug*

  250. Honey says:

    Morning TexasSug, It’s funny because if we believed in the “standards” we wouldn’t have the great self -esteem that we do. I’m rare and love myself for it. And laugh at those who think I shouldn’t. That’s all. and she’s Asian and I’m black and we could be compared to each other and we could be the same height and I KNOW she would outweigh me, and we could both be beautiful in our different ways and we would STILL be considered overweight by some outrageous standards. Case in point LASB. She can in no way,shape or form be considered fat, but she is not thin enough for some… like that life-sized barbie doll they had on msnbc…Silly isn’t it? At least that’s what I meant by the exchange, can’t totally speak for LASB. Night all.
    Honey
    -going to sleep thinking about her new hunter/jumper, Danny, I love him…and am going to ride him tomorrow and be fulfilled as a women.. And he loves me too…(.yes, I’ve got it bad,but he is the cutest chestnut you have ever seen…you just don’t understand)

  251. Honey says:

    and TexasSug. do keep us updated on your geisha/courtesan angle….really.

  252. Lisa says:

    ok is it just me or is anyone else getting winks on wyp from 20 year muslim guys worth less than 10k with income less than 20k who all looking to get “merrid”. I think i’m going to delete my profile from the site as it might have seemed like a good concept but it’s obvious the guys on it are clueless.

    So much for the weight issue ladies, I received a catalog in the mail today from some place called “gold violin” it has all kinds of interesting things to help me live independentlly. Things such as a variety of walkers, gadgets to help me get out of my chair, some kind of female urinal thing so I can pee standing up, incontinence underwear, some kind of sweat band to stop chafing from my belly flap or something. yikes how did I get on their mailing list?

    ok off to bed. Very tired from work, no fun in life for me, just a crappy job that sucks my energy and my spirit out of me. 50 more weeks till my week off.

    Good night

  253. Kindred Spirit says:

    Lisa, lol I got that same guy, I think. He will really travel from Indonesia just to meet me? :D Really really? Oh brother.

    Goodnight, take care ya’ll. ZZZzzzz

  254. Lisa says:

    Yes that’s him and I got one yesterday from some other place i’d never heard of , also in Asia.
    NOT what i’m looking for, lol

    ok gotta get to bed.

  255. Dallasbaby says:

    What a drag ….my hot male model 35 yr old sugar daddy from WYP gave me half cash and the rest on a visa card . I checked the card after we parted ways and it only had $ 10.00 on it ! I called and texted and no reply. I am so confused. I do not get why he tricked me like that. :(

  256. CuteSB says:

    Hi :)
    I love reading your posts! I’m thinking about joining. I need a SD!!
    .

  257. Staci says:

    What is up with the SD’s on this site? They want fun without the sugar. Also, they need to understand this site. Many want to spend time with you and think that they are spoiling you by spending a couple hours in bed. There are some legit SD’s on here but they seem to be few and far between.

  258. sugarsugar says:

    I’m giving WYP a little while longer. Heard from one guy who offered $100. He sounds intelligent and is also looking for a sugar baby. He’s actually attractive in his picture.

    Today I heard from from someone at SA from out of state. Willing to travel to see me in a few months. He sounds great and sincere. Trying not to get my hopes up as I’ve been disappointed so often but pray for me please. It’s been a year since I had any sugar and I’m not working right now and could really use an arrangement.

    Dallas…that really sucks. I hope you at least had a good time and a nice dinner. Maybe it was an honest mistake and he will come through. If not I hope his karma catches up with him.

    Staci- unfortunately that describes the majority of the men here. That’s why you need to be very upfront about your needs and expectations and weed out the SD wannabees right off the bat.

  259. Dallasbaby says:

    He had some excuse about needing to put some money on the card to hide it from his wife. I guess my sexy good time was worth running a scam . He was nice to look at though…..just hate how it ended. Just to much drama.

  260. LASB says:

    Texasugah – I’m not going to defend myself anymore than the following: In a nut shell, I was communicating to Honey that I could relate to what she was saying in regards to “California standards.” I was making light of some of the craziness that is SA, as I have been rejected for not being white as well as for weighing too much. Some people get teary eyed, angry, or insecure when they are rejected, particularly when it is looks based. I’m not insecure about my weight or my race/lack of whiteness, so I find the whole thing ridiculous in a way that makes me want to crack jokes.

  261. Honey says:

    Good Morning…
    sorry to hear about your dud Dallas,,just chalk it down as experience… a cute little liar,jerk, now available at WYP!
    Hey LASB and HEY Texassug!. Are you in Houston or Dallas? I wanted to try zumba!! Now I am doing riding twice a week,trying to get out more…let’s start blogging about what we eat or don’t eat and what kind of exercise do when do and when. Like in my perfect ,lazy world, I would do yoga at least 2x a week and now I have added Horseback riding. So I am “working out” 4x’s a week.(1 Hour,each day)I also “try” to get a massage at least once a month, but often don’t….And I have only be hitting that yoga target once a week lately(school, cafe, whatever,)SO
    NEXT week, I am starting a home delivery service for food, “the fresh diet” anybody heard of that one? How often do YOU workout?

  262. SouthernGent2 says:

    WYP is one interesting place. Just because I will try anything once, I sent out a couple of bids to girls that I have also noticed on SA. One was snapped up, and in fact she gave me her cell almost immediately wanting to know when we could meet for our date. So a few texts are exchanged, I ask her if we can speak when convenient, then poof she is gone and hasn’t replied further. So it works both ways on WYP just so everyone knows. Not sure I understand why she would just poof like that unless she got a better offer.

  263. Dallasbaby says:

    Update: Hot 35 year old model from WYP said he will fix the card issue next time we meet. I do not know what to think about this. At least he did not poof. yet!

  264. Honey says:

    Drop him!! Tricky and spoiled is he…He’s not honest and upfront about it.
    He didn’t come thru on his first promise,meaning you are out how much again? Let’s say it was $100.
    He only paid you 50 in cash and $10 in credit,leaving you $40 still owed. That’s how much he is going to offer you on your next date with him. Or do you think he will clear up the confusion, pay for the dinner and give you the $40 he “owed” you from before and that’s all…Is he really THAT cute?

  265. Dallasbaby says:

    Honey – we are talking thousands of dollars !

  266. Dallasbaby says:

    I prefer he work it out before we meet again. Its as if he is holding me hostage now ! Hes looking like a trick on a stick right now !

  267. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Dallas- I like your approach. These things can be fixed online and via telephone, so he really should have some integrity and do what he says he is going to do.

  268. sugarsugar says:

    Southern Gent- welcome to our world LOL

  269. Honey says:

    Dallas, if you let him start off treating you unfairly, he is going to continue…that’s all I’m saying….call him on it and make him come correct!! Next time…

  270. Honey says:

    He COULD have explained it better, something like,” I’m sorry, I only have half of what I promised but if you’ll take, I promise to fix it next time we see each other…” WHEN he gave you the dummy card, Not AFTER he tricked you. Would you excuse it if it was a hundred dollars and not thousands? “in for a penny,in for a pound” Getting off my soapbox,again,no heat.

  271. Lisa says:

    Hi everyone
    Dallasbaby, it’s obvious he knew the card only had 10 dollars on it. Whenever I give anyone a giftcard, I verify the balance online and give them the gift receipt. If he is serious, all he has to do is add the correct amount of money on it online or by phone, no need to have a second date to do that. Chances are he won’t come through as if they start out that way, things don’t get better. If you’ve got lots of free time and want to give him another chance do it, but if you are busy like most of us and don’t have the time to waste, just set him aside.

  272. sugarsugar says:

    Dallas-

    He’s a male model. If he’s that cute he’s probably used to getting his way and used to people forgiving him when he acts like an ass. It’s like sugar daddys putting up with bad behavior on their SBs part because the SB is hot. Bad behavior should not be rewarded. Be the one to call him on it and let him know he blew his chance.

  273. Dallasbaby says:

    He did pull a fast one on me because he did not tell me about not having the full cash before our get together. He sprung it on me last minute and I thought it would be rude to call and check on it right in front of him. He was also in a mad dash to get to the bedroom ! I even took the 200 first date fee off the total to try to be fair . He also told me how he has all this stamina and can even go round two………pfft, he hardly lasted ! So full of lies ! His body was heaven sent though …but hes all show and no go !

  274. CardsFanSD says:

    date 4 earlier today… i’m ruint! what a wonderful day….

    ruint, for sure… :D

  275. Dallasbaby says:

    Woohoo cardsfan !

  276. CardsFanSD says:

    Time is a true test, but it certainly seems I’ve found just what I’m looking for, and we’re both ridiculously happy about it…

    Anyway. re: Mr Model — sorry, but you don’t pay someone with a gift card that has less than what’s expected on it. That’s just the lamest bit of horseshit ever. He should’ve been upfront about it. And if he’s sincere he’ll have no issue ‘making it right’ before you see him again… good luck with that.

  277. Honey says:

    Dallas Baby, I just think that was a sneaky trick to pull on you!! Tell me where he is,I’ll go key his car!!

  278. torontoblondie says:

    @ Dallas huh :S you had sex with him on the first date and he scammed you and only gave you 10 on a cc, so how much did he give you in cash…. he doesn’t sound that great….

    on a side not – the SD (older one) and I cancelled our trip to Bahamas because we can take it when ever maybe next week – so we can go to his friends surgery clinic for the weekend for his second phase of surgery (hair, nose, body lipo etc) – I’ll be going in for my consultation for boobs and he’ll pay I can have them as soon as this weekend if I want but I think I might start working out again to get my abs back and then see if I like my boobs how they are, they don’t sag, Im young, they are perky as hell and small nipples so I’m pretty pleased with them just wish they could be a little larger just if I’m going under the knife I won’t settle for a c I’ll go straight for a small D cup :p But I don’t want the scars because I promised the younger SD I’d go to LA the 2nd week of may which I’ll really enjoy because he’s so much fun :) :) :) Apparently he told his friends about me :D

  279. Dallasbaby says:

    Second date from wyp and he gave 3 k down and 3 k on a cc !

  280. Dallasbaby says:

    Now he says he has to come and get the card from me to get it fixed. * rolls eyes *
    I figured he was good for the 3 k on a visa card since he did give me 3 k in cash.

  281. sugarsugar says:

    I need a drink! or 2 or 3

  282. Dallasbaby says:

    torontoblondie- I do not think you can get boobs that fast as you need to do blood work first .

  283. cleo says:

    torontoblondie: oh my god DO NOT DO IT!

    please? pretty please?

    at least wait until you’re twenty five or so and your boobs have actually finished growing? please?

    please?

  284. Honey says:

    Dallasbaby, let him give you the fixed card, and then you have to be somewhere else, you are a busy woman with lots of other guys waiting to date you….thank him and DO get it,but make him wait….
    until next time, that’s what I might do…but do whatever you want of course, whatever you feel is best for you. Go get ‘em, Tiger!!

  285. Dallasbaby says:

    Honey- I texted him saying lets call it even because it is just awkward now and I hate drama. I found him to be a bit of a bully and I run things, not him ! At least I run my own body …lol !

  286. cleo says:

    dallasbaby: in my experience those who talk about their prowess have none. those who just do a thing? usually rock.

  287. Dallasbaby says:

    Cleo- when he told me that it scared me to be honest. I just do not want to know all the details I am in for. It is just a turn off to me. I was worried the whole day thinking about how I was gonna be some guys sex toy over and over again. :(

    But then in the moment I was like ” oh ya ” ! I was thinking this is gonna be a good time but sadly….not so much !

  288. Honey says:

    And I too was going to recommend no surgery for TBlonidie, but she/you(Blondie) doesn’t seem like the type to take advice from fat ole ladies!!! Hopefully you got to her in time Cleo…
    What the Heck is wrong with small boobs? Going for that Barbie look?
    I had always kinda wished for smaller boobs, so I could go without a bra without making a fashion statement and I’ve always liked those wrap type tops, that I could never wear without looking like I was busting out! Who told you you had small boobs or better, who told you they were TOO small? People still do die from surgery, go to botched surgery websites, talk to people who had BAD experiences with the type you are looking for. Think of Tara Reed, wasn’t she the one that got a bad boob job? I haven’t even met you and you seem to be doing fine in the sugar game without fake boobs (flaky guys notwithstanding…)and if you feel that they will help you get ahead, then go for it!! There’s only a small percentage that you will die from any surgery..
    Gosh, I can bring that soapbox out quick, like I never put it away…

  289. cleo says:

    honey i’m a teacher and i can’t stop teaching. beach girl sent me a video on how to stretch shoes and i taught two different women at a wedding how to do it within days! lol

  290. Honey says:

    Eat him up Dallas. One’s body is private territory,let me quote some Dido here..
    This land is mine but I’ll let you in
    I let you navigateon demand
    Just as long as you know…this land is mine
    So find your home and settle in
    Ohhh, I’m ready to let you in
    Just as long as we know…this land is mine

    After all the battles and the wars
    The scars and loss
    I’m still the queen of my domain
    and feeling stronger now
    The walls are down a little more each day
    Since you came, finally…finally things are changing

    I would listen to it on u tube..

  291. Lisa says:

    I wish I could get surgery for my frown. I swear I have difficulty smiling. On my days off when i’m happy and stressfree, I can halfway smile but on the other days I swear I have the biggest frown on my face, people think i’m made or unfriendly. Hardly a day goes by when i’m going or coming from work when someone doesn’t comment to me “you look like you’re pissed or in a bad mood” of course usualy i’m in a bad mood because I hate my job and my face just seems to freeze that way, I cannot smile no matter what I do, I have a frown.

  292. Dallasbaby says:

    We looked like a couple of turtles moving in slow motion . You would think he was a virgin or something and needed to go slow mo ! I guess that is his idea of stamina? I was left not sexified at all and scratching my head as to wtf just happened?

  293. Lisa says:

    Another way to make shoes fit is to saw off your toes.

  294. sugarsugar says:

    Thank you Cleo! I second what Cleo said. Small boobs are making a come back. I just read it somewhere, I swear LOL. I have always had small boobs and even at my advanced age they are still perky and my best feature. My boyfriends have always loved them. Women should not get their self esteem from their boobs. No doubt you will attract more men with bigger boobs but its your mind/soul/personality that will endear them to you. I don’t want to look like a Barbie doll. I could get implants if I wanted to but I’ve never thought they were worth risking one’s health over. Plus you can do some amazing tings with pushup bras these days.

    Use the money and put it towards your education ;) If you do decide to go through with it please check out this doctor and clinic thoroughly. Just because your SD recommends it doesn’t mean he has done the research either. Your health is the most important thing, not the money, not the lifestyle, not guys fawning all over you.

  295. Lisa says:

    Or better yet watch TLC’s music video “unpretty” they’re one of those senior citizen singing groups from the 90′s-2000′s

  296. Honey says:

    dallas, you should have told him you were not fully satisfied. Is he a selfish lover?

  297. CardsFanSD says:

    @Lisa — Good song ;-)

    If I connect with someone — it’s them, not a body part. Right?

    Love yourself and you’ll find someone who loves you for who you are.
    Be dissatisfied with who you are and you’ll find someone who wants to change you….

  298. Texasugah says:

    Hey ya’ll..

    Honey.. you are a trip. I hope that you’ll email me at the y spot. My handle on here at the y spot.

    Dallas.. I was reading quickly. This guy gave you 3K. The model or another? And what are you working with. Girl you must be fierce!

    I saw my sugar today. He’s a doll. I mean really.

    I changed my pic on SA and voila! I got a couple of emails that were decent. One I’m just loving talking to. He’s away working but has a houston number. Will be back soon. I’m looking forward to meeting him. Pretty decent allowance.

    Lisa – hey it’s all good for a laugh.

    I plan to have a liquid lift in a couple of weeks.I had one a couple of years ago and now it’s time. It’s just radiesse around the eyes. Takes about 5 years off. And no.. I’m not paying for it. LOL

    Night all

  299. Lisa says:

    My last irl boyfriend pretended to be so interested in “me” yet after we started dating he was constantly giving me advice (you should darken your hair, you need to gain weight , you should get this job, you should stop wearing the dresses and skirts you like to wear and wear pants because “I think you look good in pants, you should stand up to your family, etc ). Ok so I dyed my hair darker, stared wearing the clothes he bought me, tried to gain weight, etc) and he thought is was great but within a couple months he was too busy for me and no longer interested in a dating relationship with me, disappeared for a year and then came back with no apology and wanted to booty call. I sent him on his way. He could have stood to lose about 30 lbs, needed to get his grown daughters to stop mooching off him and popping out babies, and he should have not got drunk and wrecked that rental car in south america which ended up costing him several thousand dollars. He could have done alot of stuff to make him self more appealing to me, I however dated him because I enjoyed spending time with him, despite “his” imperfections.
    Anyway focusing on any body part may get you more attention but imagine if you lose that body part, what happens then? You get breast implants, which are fine, but then guys are drawn to you for that and then one day you get cancer or something and they’re gone, I would think that would be a big blow to your self esteem.

    ok off to bed, another ugly day awaits.

  300. Honey says:

    Thanks texas Sug. What did you change your pictures to and from?

  301. Honey says:

    I’m over at Melange-One smart sugarbabe on facebook.

  302. Kindred Spirit says:

    DallasBaby~ My jaw about dropped off the table. $3K??? Whaaaaaa??? O_O Incredibly shocking. Maybe I need to move me on down to Hot, Sizzlin’ Texas!

    Just kidding, but damn, girl!! Am I, and perhaps Texasugah (?), one of the few who are genuinely shocked/surprised at that? Maybe millionaires see $3,000 as like a piddly $300 to them? I’ve no idea. My naive, innocent-ish mind has a hard time wrapping itself around that figure for a 1st date.

    However, Dallasbaby, I do hope he leaves you alone and doesn’t stalkingly display entitlement over you…glad you have your wits about you! Best indeed to be trusting your gut, dear. :)

  303. Dallasbaby says:

    Kindred Spirit- The first date was on wyp for only 200 , we then decided we would get into a trial monthly arrangement to start with . He told me that his last baby ran up even more in fake hair, lash extensions, hair removal, fake boobs name brand clothing. He mentioned the credit card he was using the company money . Maybe a company he owns? I have been given 1,000 cash many times on the first date just for dinner, but most of the times it is men in 40′s and 60′s who do that. Lots of well off men are in dallas and in the highland park area. It also helps to have a great set of breasts and hair to my bum !

  304. Muse says:

    LASB, you make me wish I hadn’t deleted my profile on WYP so I could accept that offer from you. And only a three hour test drive? Are you sure? ;)

  305. Michael Alleycat says:

    @TorontoBlondie – one word of advice. Don’t. I am a boobs guy, and I prefer a smaller set of natural boobs vs a larger fake set. To me, implants has hints of insecurity and poor body image. The last SBs I have been with who had implants, nightmare, all sorts of life issues. The best SB experiences I have had have have been the ones who are “au naturel”. They are just more confident.

    My current IRL pot is probably at A-cup, but really confident in who she is, and I am salivating to rip her clothes off.

    Just my $0.02.

  306. Michael Alleycat says:

    @SD Guru – I commiserate. I had coffee with a potSB today. (and before you all jump down my throat, my IRL pot is still that – a pot)

    Anyway, nice coffee, young, cute, local, not so smart. Did some googling afterwards, and found some interesting *ahem* photos of her – under her real name!!! – on the web. Think I may give it a pass. Not sure if she is stupid, arrogant, doesn’t care, or just not concerned with details. None of which are attractive attributes as far as I am concerned.

  307. SD Guru says:

    @Michael
    Did some googling afterwards, and found some interesting *ahem* photos of her

    Care to trade pics?? :mrgreen:

    I had asked you about your 21 item “list” in the last blog topic but perhaps you didn’t see it, so I’ll post it here to get your thoughts. Which ones are must have’s vs nice to have’s? Would the list be different for pot SB’s? And are you looking for a gf on match because you no longer want sugar relationships? (I guess your encounter with pot SB answered that question).

    I prefer a smaller set of natural boobs vs a larger fake set.

    I prefer natural as well, but it’s a preference and not a requirement. Come to think of it, most of my recent SB’s had enhancements… hmmm…

  308. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Morning sugars! My bathroom is FINALLY done! I can’t believe it took almost three weeks, but I’m happy with the end result! Now, I wonder what a trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond can do to dress up the old accessories??

    Toronto- There is NO way you will be ready for your trip with a boob job! My bff couldn’t move her arms for the first week and she is in excellent physical shape. Put the money to better use and embrace the girls and all their glory!

  309. Honey says:

    Good morning All. Wild bells to the wild sky and all that!! Off to yogurtland, just ordered a Quantum scale, it only shows the weight you have lost. It’s personalized only for one person and No, I am not selling them, but I think it’s a great motivational tool for me, I’ll let everyone know how it works.

  310. Honey says:

    reach the beach what colors did u use for your bathroom? just being nosy…

  311. torontoblondie says:

    @ Dallasbaby – wow if he can give you 3 grand for a first date and 3 grand on a cc (even though it stated 10) who cares he could have done that so he could make sure he liked you. Definitely sounds like a winner and I am so sorry us girls doubted your instincts, fuck I’d jump in bed with a hot 35 year old for 3 g’s lol!

    Lol yeah I think I may dump that SD… he’s just so pushy so fast, we’ve been together for 6 months, we were thinking of buying a house together (his money) but he’d put it under both of our names so I get half when I leave. Meh I dunno just so hard to explain that one to my family, I know finically wise he will be my best choice for the rest of my life and I prb won’t get someone as generous as him, but I’m not looking to become a gold digger, just have a few nice things, pay for my schooling and thats all I need. I cancelled the trip last night (btw its a top surgeons so I most likely wouldn’t die or be a horrible story – thats for girls that see fake doctors)

    debating on what to do for the weekend, i might see him this weekend and sleep over there to collect my 5 g and then dump him or just dump him before hand if my new SD wants to do something together this weekend because I much rather spend time with him :) He wanted to fly me out to him 1st class last night but I denied, lol I have pets so I can’t travel on a moments notice :( But I’m pretty happy that I’ll be leaving the old SD so I can just commit to the younger one, he’s too nice of a guy and would be hurt if he knew I was seeing more than just him and he deserves better than that.

  312. Enigma SD says:

    Hi all — I would like to suggest the next topic for the SA blog…. Code of Conduct….

    I really think it would benefit everyone if SA would have both SBs and SDs acknowledge they have read a code of conduct prior to activating an account…. things that aren’t appropriate (sending cock pics, asking money to be wired, etc etc) need to be read and acknowledged. I have talked to a number of SBs that have considered leaving the site after a few days because of the things that have happened. I am shocked at how many times I have actually emailed an escort (through a little google search) or someone has asked me to wire them money within a few emails….

    Enforcement could be made by having a few “fake” profiles of SBs and SDs that would monitor the email traffic going on — I think it would dramatically improve the quality and set SA aside from all other sugar dating sites… I would even volunteer to monitor a few fake profiles….

    I am interested in thoughts and reactions, especially from the SA people.

    Let’s make this a better place for everyone!

  313. stephan says:

    @Enigma SD – That will definitely be the next topic! I vote for your idea to have a few “fake” traffic monitoring profiles to help ensure the SA code of conduct is being maintained on the site (catching violations such as members sending penis pics, wire transfer requests and/or fraud attempts, etc.) and the profiles found in violation can be flagged for further attention/action and possible suspension, deletion and/or banning from the site! Having volunteer operators for this would be absolutely ideal IMO (as opposed to staff that may not have as keen a sense of language and hidden signals used for various cultural or site-experience related reasons depending on the staff hired to operate those few accts).

  314. SD Guru says:

    @Dallasbaby

    It would help if you had provided a more complete description of your experience with Mr Model from the beginning so that people don’t jump to conclusions based on the tidbits you revealed. Although he only gave you half of the agreed amount for an arrangement, 3 grand is no pocket change for most people. And if you choose not to see him again then it would have worked out very well for you financially despite how you thought you were treated. As for the sex you described as “a couple of turtles moving in slow motion”… my sincere condolences! :mrgreen:

    @TorontoBlondie

    What if you dumped your older generous SD only to have the newer younger SD change his mind because he met a prettier SB with bigger boobs? Is there a plan B??

    @Enigma SD

    I can’t speak for the site so this is my personal opinion. Most of the conduct issues you’ve raised are covered in the Terms of Use (TOU) which can be found at the bottom of SA home page and every member had agreed to it when they signed up. The problem with TOU’s is that nobody reads them and the monitoring and enforcement aspect can be problematic for a site with several hundred thousand members and only a few employees and volunteers. It’s an honor system that relies on individual members to police themselves which as you pointed out is not very effective. Using fake monitoring profiles is an interesting idea and it could work up to a certain point, but it may end up being a band aid and not result in a dramatic improvement.

  315. Dallasbaby says:

    I was just talking about what happened to me and I did not wish to put a dollar figure on it , but TorontoBlondie pushed the issue for some reason. I know talking money is never a good idea and that is why I left it out. Others get all bent out of shape over it if they are not getting those types of arrangements just yet. The reason I mentioned he is holding me hostage in a way is because if it was a monthly upfront paid arrangement we agreed to then he gave me half that means I owe him another visit you see? We agreed on the full amount in order to get started. THIS WAS A SECOND DATE , NOT A FIRST……First date he paid 200 and I told him I would count that as part of the monthly allowance to be fair. If I where to date him in real life I would have dumped him for not being on the same page in the bedroom. :)~
    It was fun of course to be with a perfect 10 body !

  316. Dallasbaby says:

    I am starting to think perhaps he has made up the perfect scam ! Brains and Beauty he has !

  317. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Dallasbaby – some skills can be taught. :-)

    If he’s completely legit, put on your inner goddess and show him the way you like it!

  318. torontoblondie says:

    @ Dallas – most scammers don’t give 3 grand in cash too, most scammers would say oh here’s your cheque b/c cheques are worth jack shit and prove nothing.

    GIRLS NEVER TAKE CHEQUES – trust me I learnt this one late as well, and what are you going to go to the cops? Realistically no and the guy knows that…

    As for dropping my older SD doesn’t matter, I have money saved up in the bank that could last me a year without working so it’s really not in my interest to continue seeing someone I despise… as I do despise him, while my younger SD I absolutely adore, we were on Skype for 2 hours last night :) Grr he didn’t even ask for a peep show while I was on webcam in my bra and panties, lol damn maybe tonight. And I don’t have problems finding new men – prb difficult to find someone that wants to marry me and give me half their worth but I’m not looking for that at all, I’ll make my own wealth once I’m done school.

  319. Dallasbaby says:

    A hot guy once gave me a check also for 500 and some cash, saying he could not pull enough from the bank on a sunday? Sprung on me last minute of course . He did a stop payment shortly after we parted ways and when I confronted him he said well….. you should not be doing what you are doing in life. He is doing the same thing so why is all the shame on my end?

  320. Dallasbaby says:

    Me and hot guys = TROUBLE !

  321. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Pay for play can be a real bummer. That stuff should be taken care of apart from the time you spend together. SMH….Sorry ladies, but why learn the hard way?

  322. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Enigma – Great idea, but I do see Guru’s points. Why can’t people be honorable anymore :(

    I’m not bitter or in a bad mood today, but I have been hearing so much about ladies making careless mistakes (not just here). It’s not just about allowances, but choices and safety. Please, please, please do not take these things for granted.

    ***end rant***

  323. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Honey – I love the rustic Italian colors…terra cotta, dark red, dark greens with a hit of island.

  324. Dallasbaby says:

    Reach the Beach SB- all the guys I know if they hand over that kind of money do expect something in return at the end of the day . Sugar for sugar. Men will not give you thousands then want you to just walk away or else chances are they will never see that girl again. That is a mans greatest fear. They do not give money just for the hell of it ya know?

  325. Lisa says:

    There is a distinctive difference between an arrangment and a pay per play situation. Pay for play is a trade off whereas an arrangment is something more, two people caring about each other, making some good memories together. Sex is only a part of the arrangment. With an arrangment, you can feel appreciated, with pay per play (never done it myself as i’m too cautious) it is just a transaction. I’d rather have one man looking for an ongoing arrangment than a man who goes the pay per play and then on to the next woman route.

  326. Reach the Beach SB says:

    DallasBaby – That hasn’t been my experience. Yes, they may hope for it, but if it’s truly an arrangement, he will know that you’re for real. Don’t feel obligated…you’re a lady and he should treat you as such. My rule is only sleep with a man because you want to …not because he provides you an allowance. That is truly a mutually beneficial arrangement.

    I commend you for receiving a nice sum, hopefully you will he will be as generous in May, June…..

  327. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Meant “hopefully he will be as generous in May, June….”

    Know that I’m not trying to insult you. Just looking out for my fellow sugar.

  328. Dallasbaby says:

    I did want to sleep with them, the allowance was just a plus, but at the end of the day I have other hot guys I can sleep with too. No need to find men online just for that trickery. The wyp guy we had been talking for 7 days prior after our first meeting….getting all the details worked out. He is married and not able to spend a whole bunch of time away unless risking getting caught. I still came out on top just not as far on top as I could have been ….as like I said, they where smoking hot nines and tens ! Even if you know someone real well I have found they can still try to slight you . Point is to always be on guard about it.

  329. Dallasbaby says:

    A friend told me about this girl who was in an arrangement for a year or more and one day he gave her ring and asked her to marry him, she turned him down so he took a razor blade and carved up her body about 8 times to make her less attractive to other men. :(

  330. Reach the Beach SB says:

    That’s awful Dallasbaby. She must have never seen it coming. There has been so much on the news lately about men who will harm/kill a woman if she refuses to be with him. Something EVERY day in our local paper. Where does that come from?

    Safety and self respect come before sugar every time…at least for me. I don’t judge the choices of others, but it truly stirs a great deal of emotion when someone is harmed in the sugar world…especially if it’s preventable.

  331. SkiBunny says:

    I guess it’s something that needs to be made clear about finances. I went on a vacation with one of the premium members just for him to not give me anything for spending a whole weekend with him. So much for mutually beneficial, lol. The girl who does not ask, does not always get so much more. She can potentially get taken advantage of.

  332. Dallasbaby says:

    SkiBunny – sometimes guys think you will go just for the trip and I would willing to bet you are young so he picked you for that reason. Guys want a young or new girl who will not speak up .

  333. SkiBunny says:

    He was supposed to give me the $ while we were there, that didn’t happen. Then when he didn’t have the $ with him he asked for an account number to deposit it. 3 weeks later, no deposit and endless texts asking me to come fly out in order to get the money from him. I’m 22 and had to blow off a photo shoot in order to fly out to see him. Ugh, such a waste.

  334. Dallasbaby says:

    That’s horrible Skibunny, I would not move an inch from the front door until I got payed for the trouble. I also ask for a deposit before I travel for this very reason. I always do show myself on webcam prior so they at least they know I am the real girl .

  335. SkiBunny says:

    It wouldn’t be as big of a deal if he wasn’t ‘certified’ on this site. Had he not been part of that circle I may have not expected better of him. I spent more money on that trip than I made, that always feels like a waste. Any of the SD’s i’ve emailed with in Colorado are looking for LTR, and that just isn’t my style right now.

  336. Dallasbaby says:

    This reminds me of once I had a date and the guy sent a limo for me to have dinner at the ritz, he tells me if I meet in person he will pay a whole day at the spa , he keeps wanting to make out after dinner, then tells me I do not seem into it, as if to challenge me to do a better make out session. We go to another location and he picks up random chicks and has them join us and tells all of us we “all” get spa visits if we go dance on the dance floor , we return after a dance and he says do it again, one more song. The next day I gave him the info for the spa and he tells me why not just meet me again and I will give you the $500.00 in person? Of course I declined . I am not going to meet twice for the same spoiling and I spent at least 4 hours on the date. I bet he had a great time making all of us girls look like circus monkeys…..

  337. SkiBunny says:

    I’m sure he did. I’m shooting in New York this weekend and he keeps pressing to meet me and just e-mailed me a friends and family coupon to Saks, like wow really? Why not just send me the amount you owe me and we can move from there.

  338. Dallasbaby says:

    SkiNunny- sometimes guys are secretly subs and they do stuff to make you get angry because they like to be yelled at and made to do stuff. They do not want it to be fake either so they find ways to pick at you until you explode on them. They want you to scare them or threaten them for some sick twisted game. I know it sounds silly but lots of men are into that these days.

  339. SkiBunny says:

    Yeah, I’m not a dominatrix, there’s girls who offer that, lol.

  340. Dallasbaby says:

    I am good at it on the phone but not in person. I will start laughing or get shy !

  341. SkiBunny says:

    Hahaha! It’s funny to me that you attempt it, I’d prefer to find someone who fits my style. The acting becomes exhausting after a while if you have to pretend to be someone else.

  342. NYC SB says:

    Ski Bunny – not sure about the details… but never cancel work where you are guaranteed to make money for a pot date… also never travel until your travel expenses have been taken care of… unfortunately this was just a bad learning experience for you… tell him to buzz off and move on

    all of these bad stories make me feel glad i am no longer looking :)

  343. Honey says:

    Dallas and anybody else who will TRY it. I have had guys pay for my whole trip there and not put out. DON’T SLEEP ON THE FIRST DATE. Ever. Never. Even if he offers you thousands upfront,take it and sleep with him the next date. I Promise it will work out to your advantage, that’s my big secret.Every guy that I have done that with said that it made everything more special. Use the dime method for EVERY FIRST date. Take a dime and out in between your legs and don’t let it fall. If he cannot wait until after the first date, you don’t need him for what he can offer you…if you cannot wait for the next date than don’t complain when he treats you like an easy piece.. No heat, again dallas..
    I’m not making any judgmental calls but I bet if you had kept him waiting he would have been back with the other half!!! That’s an older, fatter sugarbabes’ view on what has worked for her.

  344. Dallasbaby says:

    It was not the first date though…why do peeps keep saying it was? We had agreed on a monthly allowance and met 7 days later.

  345. Dallasbaby says:

    and he is trying to meet me again and even asked me to get off of the site when we where together , but he gave half the payment on a cc and still claims it was an honest mistake.

  346. Dallasbaby says:

    Now I do know of girls who do hold until the man has spent more in the 30 k amount, but for the life of me I do not attract the sub types . I get more of the alpha males / bossy types and I do my best with that but it is for sure at a cat and mouse game.

  347. Kindred Spirit says:

    Feeling a bit down tonight…. :(

    Hugging my cat isn’t quite the same…he just yowls at me to feed him! haha

    Tomorrow’s a new day….

  348. China_doll_dc says:

    @Kindred – *hugs* things will get better. If you need ear. I’m here!
    @skibunny – okay who is the bastard and let me hunt him down, is my initial knee jerk reaction. Sometimes you must spell out exactly what you need. When you leave things in the air, it confuses people.

    As always, BE SAFE. If it doesn’t sound absolutely peachy to you, then don’t do it.

  349. China_doll_dc says:

    Oh yes and to address the weight issue. Look in the mirror ladies and say to your self “DAMN girl, you’re fine and gorgeous”. And then proceed to strut your stuff in those hot red high heels. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 0, 6, or 16 or bigger, you’re beautiful. Attitude really is everything, Don’t let the haters tell you any differently, for every one hater, there is 10 people to tell you that you are truly beautiful and I bet men are unable to say a word because they are trying to pick their jaws up from the floor.

  350. Honey says:

    Kindred-sorry you are down ,tomorrow is another day, China, Hi, welcome.
    Dallas,you are pulling in more per date than I am and I apologize if I didn’t read all the way through(sometimes, I am so quick to bring out the advice soapbox,sorry)but it sounds as if you are falling for him ,for the myth of him. He may be used to beautiful girls giving him the benefit of the doubt. If he were older and not so cute, would you be as torn? Do you want him for a SD or a boyfriend?Who’s the cat and who’s the mouse? and you said the sex wasn’t that great or was that someone else? Sorry, if I am asking questions you have already graciously answered on the blog.. I am to lazy to read all the previous posts

  351. RedMaru says:

    Morning sugars! torontoblondie I wish I had your problem no offense. With my weight loss I feel like mine are sagging and could either use a reduction or a lift. Id give you some of mine if I could

  352. Honey says:

    Good Morning all. Turned in my term paper.Just got back from horseback riding and am about to head out to the Omni for a mini spa retreat!
    ! Life is Good Enjoy your weekend!!

  353. cleo says:

    dallasbaby: yeah i hear that, alpha males are hot but much harder to “manage”

    lol

  354. Ron says:

    I’m a newbie on the blog. Just terminated a 7 month arrangement with my SB. Best relationship I ever had. Everything was done right but I fell in love with my SB. Terminated the arrangement because she danced at a gentleman’s club and parties and never told me. Wouldn’t have wanted her doing it from the start but she kept it from me. The rest is history. How do SDs avoid deceit.

  355. cleo says:

    ron: had you agreed to exclusivity? had she?

    were you fully supporting her? did she lie to you about her job? are you married?

    i mean it’s hard to even begin to comment

  356. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Sigh…love and sugar. Is it really possible to keep the two apart and still have “the best arrangement ever”. So many questions…
    - Are you in love because you shouldn’t/ couldn’t be
    - Did you fall in love with her sugary side without seeing her real life?
    - Did you go into this looking for a relationship?

  357. Ron says:

    We agreed to exclusivity.I am not married. I supported her in all ways. In fact I read your blog comments to see if I had screwed up somewhere. I know that when I fell in love with her it would be tough but she was happy. I did notice that she would fall into with me than try to escape when she was alone. She told me she was an independent make up artist and part time for an agency. I always wondered about her time schedule but I trusted her. Then she said she wanted to go into dancing at this club before she lost it. I explained to her that I was too far down the path with her. She wanted me to go there when she danced. Couldn’t do that and feel good about it especially since some of my customers go there for lunch and dinner. Besides she is always at my side for events with customers, friends and family which wasn’t cool either. She then told me that she had been doing it since we started. Floored me.

  358. Ron says:

    Anyway it happened this morning. When I explained to her that I couldn’t continue the relationship if she continued…. she freaked out on me and called me every name in the book. I respect her independence but she would have to do this on her own. If we continued together the feelings that I would have about her dancing would have torn us apart anyway. Sad because I still love her and miss her.

  359. Ron says:

    Reach the Beach SB
    I knew there was a problem at hand when I had my first date. It was facing me right there. The feeling that I haven’t had for years. It wasn’t even about sex although she is beautiful. Something happened to me but I did not recognize it. When I did it was too late. Originally went into it saying I need to get out of the normal dating arena. All my dates were under 40. Too many with bad histories with bf or spouse or worse …. ready for kids. ( I have 8…7 daughters and 1 son the youngest). My SB is 33. Maybe I did fall for her sugary side but she liked it. At least she responded like she did.

  360. Honey says:

    Ron, I ‘m sorry that you had to go thru that.That does not sound fun…

  361. Reach the Beach SB says:

    Ron- I like your honesty. I can already tell you’re a white knight…you’ve come to the right place. :-)

    Lying is wrong, regardless of the reason. I can’t say I agree with the consolation that you could be there while she dances. I do see her need for independence…it’s awkward depending on your sugar daddy/ bf because until it’s marriage, it can end abruptly.

    If it’s worth working out, you two will find a happy medium. If anything, you’ve had a wonderful 7 months to remind you that you can feel that way again.

    Glad to hear from you.

  362. Reach the Beach SB says:

    New blog!

  363. Ron says:

    FYI – My SB called and apologized for the outburst of anger. She has put her dancing off for now. She wants to explain and expressed how hard it was now that she loved me and knew she had to tell me about her dancing and did’t know how to come clean. I sure don’t want to lose her and hope my heart isn’t in the way of seeing clearly. We agreed to go away to our resort playground in Reno, Nevada and spend some time talking and working things out some how. She feels she needs to tell me everything and anything in her life that might be a problem for us. Me especially. How could I say no. Thanks to every one for listening and you who replied to me. It helped just to have some one out there that understood. I will keep u posted but in the meantime I hope that this has also helped some one else out there in the SD/SB world with their similar situations.Hope luck everyone and have a great Easter weekend.

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