1 year ago
Sugar Safety: Why You Should Always Kiss & Tell
  • Posted Mar 15, 2013
  • Views 59815
  • Written by JennSA

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You might have noticed that there are a lot of new Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies in your area lately. We’ve had a lot of media exposure in the past few months, which have brought on a lot of new members. But like all dating websites, the bigger you get, the more likely you are to attract some bad apples. Now we’ve talked about bad apples before and we’ve talked about not getting taken. We have even discussed how to identify the true Sugar Daddies from the splenda variety. But the topic I want to bring up today, is why it is so important to kiss and tell.

Okay so maybe this title is a bit misleading. But safety is always going to be an important topic of discussion for online dating. As we have seen in the media lately, every dating website is susceptible to fraudulent and insincere users. In recent months, Match and Christian Mingle both had serious crimes committed by one of their members. The fact of the matter is, there will always be people who will misuse technology. In some cases, it’s sexual offenders, or violent men seeking victims through a dating website. While we don’t have a fool proof method of preventing these types of people from using SeekingArrangement.com, we do take more precautions than most websites to protect our members.

We approve all profiles inhouse and we have been urging everyone to get background verified, because we want to make sure that those who can not pass a background check are kept off our site. Your personal safety should be your highest priority, and unfortunately you can’t trust everyone you meet, especially on the internet. So you shouldn’t feel bad asking someone to participate in a background check so you know if they pass or fail (and daddies: you shouldn’t make them feel guilty for wanting to make sure).

With that said, we have noticed an alarming trend among our female members who are choosing to ignore, rather than report suspicious or criminal activity. When we kick members off after receiving a complaint, we can see who else they have been interacting with. 4/5 times this member has spoken to many girls before someone complains and no one has said anything to customer support prior to that point. There are cases where a member is sending rude messages to dozens of girls, or blatantly violating our terms of use through internal messaging, and no one has complained. It only takes one complaint for us to check out an account, and by doing so, you may be helping to protect other women from being hurt by taking action.

If you report a member, even if you aren’t sure, you won’t ever be revealed to that member as the one who “kissed and told”. But it’s better to be safe than sorry, and we would rather weed out the bad apples sooner rather than later. So speak up, and don’t be afraid to kiss and tell.

Click here to learn how to report a member

 

What precautions do you take before going out with a SB/SD? 

Ladies: Have you ever ignored, rather than reported suspicious behavior? Why? 

 

 

127 Responses to “Sugar Safety: Why You Should Always Kiss & Tell”

  1. JennSA says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. Bella says:

    First!

    And now Imma actually read what this post is about lol. Don’t you hate those commenters who are all ‘ first! ‘ and have nothing else to say? Lmao :P

  3. Bella says:

    And now that I’ve read it, I have to say that as of yet I haven’t experienced any suspicious our malicious behavior. I honestly expected to receive a fair number of messages from men just wanting pics or sex or other dubious things but I’ve been pleasantly surprised and have yet to receive anything particularly crass or rude. So I suppose side I’ve had nothing to report, I’ve had nothing to ignore either!

  4. Lo says:

    1268815
    How gross is this profile?? LOL

  5. Jersey Darling says:

    You should always tell someone where you’ll be and always call them to check in.

  6. RussianSB says:

    Lo, baby, it isn’t gross, it is sexy :)
    The problem is, babes, that man, who has hidden agenda and non-sugar goals on this site, will write and talk the sweetest things, he will sound like real gentelman and genuine potential sugardaddy and not raise any of ”red flags”,
    only real meeting will show who is who.
    But, sure, if profile is gross or mails are demanding or rude – definately NO-NO !

  7. RussianSB says:

    I am sure that Twiceshy is ”veryfied” sugardaddy, if he met with Treasured and both survived :)

  8. RussianSB says:

    The topic is very inspiring, I’ll go and report someone now … (walking away)

  9. Frank says:

    Russia, you are right, if you have something to hide, well you hide it.

    Interesting topic. You remember some months ago, one of the members ran off with a bunch of my money. I reported her, her account stayed active for weeks after I reported it, and no one ever even so much as acknowledged my complaint. Wonder if it is different now.

  10. RussianSB says:

    The problem is that we cannot provide any evidence of bad behavoir, Frank, and such persons never give us any evidences (in mails or texts) , so after your complaint, Seeking check that profile, but if the girl profile will recieve more complaints and of the same nature, they will block her.
    Frank, problem is that NOBODY complaining.
    I knew the guy who met over 50 girls from Seeking and play the same trick every time, but girls just not reporting him.

  11. RussianSB says:

    Frank, that girl , does shelook hot – like her pictures ?

  12. Bella says:

    Nah, that profile isn’t creepy, just to-the-point.

  13. Frank says:

    She was so so in her pictures, less so in person. But she made up for it with her losing personality.

    I can understand waiting to for additional complaints if someone were accused of making inappropriate comments, sometimes that is open to interpretation. But when you report someone ripped you off, I would think that would set off a faster, more comprehensive investigation. As it was, she was not blocked nor was i ever contacted re complaint, nor was my the receipt of my complaint even acknowledged. Things are probably different now since that problem in NY. Anybody know whats going on with that case?

  14. Lo says:

    Oh..well I still think it’s creepy..

  15. RussianSB says:

    Frank – you are sugardaddy, she is sugarbaby, you meet, she looks like her pictures… what you, two adults, do with your money arrangements and your bodies – nobody care, and nobody going to control. Here can be all kind of misunderstanding. Sometimes girls recieve money and presents without arrangement and without fun part. They just usually not run away with it. Again, no evidence, that she take advantage of you …
    You know, I am fond of you, but what you want from Seeking ?
    BUT if Seeking recieve more complaints about run-away SB, they will block her.
    But, Dear, you know that nobody will give her money the way you did …
    Or, nobody will complane :)

  16. RussianSB says:

    You also don’t want to share her profile with us, and we curious just have a look at that adventures girl.

  17. Treasured says:

    “I am sure that Twiceshy is ”veryfied” sugardaddy, if he met with Treasured and both survived ”

    Ahahaha! Who said he did? Perhaps I accessed all his passwords, stole his assets and keep him in my basement as a personal sex slave? :D hehehehehe

    As for “verified”. For me it doesn’t necessary show that a person is without a guilt. It just shows that he hasn’t been caught yet.

    I do my own checks and security measures ;) Had to learn it a tough way (nothing too criminal, but did my own mistakes).

    As to reporting SDs. I do it constantly and regularly on here :D

  18. Frank says:

    @Russia-You know, I am fond of you, but what you want from Seeking ?

    Russia, you may remember that I told about this episode on the blog, and somebody asked/urged that I report it so as to possibly save others from the same fate. I dutifully did so.

    Why didn’t I post her profile number on the blog,I didn’t post her profile after ascertaining that no one else on the blog was corresponding with a pot from Salem, VA.

    What did I expect from SA, nothing really. But if they are serious about having member report wrong doing, here is a minimum of what should have happened.

    I should have received a note back that my complaint had been received and was being investigated. (I never heard a word from SA ever)

    The person being complained about should have received a message from SA re complaint, and given a chance to defend/explain her actions. (I have no way of knowing if this was done, strongly doubt it)

    If SA received nothing or an inadequate response from her, profile should be blocked. If a plausible response was received, I should have been notified of the gist of it, and given a chance to rebut. (I was never told whether she had been contacted re my complaint, nor of any response to my complaint. Since her profile was never blocked, I can only assume that nothing was done)

    So what did I expect from SA. Nothing really, But if they are serious like they now say they are about weeding out bad actors, then they should respond to people making complaints and let them know what is being done re their complaint.

    Of course I understand that all the above would take a lot of resources, and I for one, plan to do my own screening just like before. Hopefully a little better. lol

    PS-russia, all I ask from my SB is a little fondness.

  19. Frank says:

    Is this a bad sign:

    Setting up a meeting with a potential this week. We have progressed from messages on SA, to emails, to texts. Then a couple of days ago, she strongly requested I call her. We talked for a while, and she told me that she had been on several interviews, but no arrangement.

    Then she went into a long tirade about how she hated her job, her she had been unfairly fired some time ago, she had no money, had to borrow money from her father etc. I interrupted her a couple of times and told her I understood her motivation for being a sb, and tried to steer the conversation onto a more positive vein.

    I wonder how she would have felt, If on our first phone conversation I would have gone into great detail about why i needed a SB, why I was sexually frustrated etc etc.

    Going to meet her Monday for Brunch. If I get her another earful, I plan to tell her that what a SD is looking for in an interview, and why she has just flunked this interview.

  20. RussianSB says:

    I want see profile of Salem witch !!! Why you are protecting her , Frank ?
    You must share with us ! Anyway with such talents girl moove soon to the Coast.

  21. twiceshy says:

    @RussianSB yes I survived. Barely. The girl is insatiable! She made it clear there were no expectations and we would just take it slowly…then leapt on me and ravaged me the very first night!

    We had a lot of fun in the islands, nice boutique hotel facing the sea, restaurants, we got to catch a few parties for Carnival together. It was a blast :).
    Not like the hyper exclusive places that some talk about on this blog, though! In fact there was no sugar at all involved.

    But you know, it was special. No robots here!
    Annnnnd…we plan to do it all again next month ;-D

  22. Treasured says:

    Ahahahahaha :D

    I am sticking with my version: me, stealing Twiceshy’s identity and locking him up :P

  23. Frank says:

    Russia-Her profile is gone now, guess she has moved on to more prosperous areas.

    I have sent you her photo, let me know if you see her around, I will come to collect!

    Treasure, let twice shy out, he needs to come up for air every once in while. Didn’t you learn from what happened with your other sex slaves?

  24. Frank says:

    Checking out profiles today and ran across an interesting one. She says “I am older, granted…” She is 35, wow the shelf life of a sugar baby is so short. Grab all the gusto while you can ladies!

  25. Frank says:

    Russia- correction to something I said earlier, that all I wanted from my SB was for her to be fond of me, well she has to FONDLE me as well.

  26. flyr says:

    It’s an interesting challenge- making connections/minimizing risks while preserving the energy of the relationship.

    At the risk of beating a well worn drum – a female should have read The Gift of Fear before she leaves home for school or work. Another work which is more oriented to guys but has priceless information on recognizing predators is Facing Violence. Gift of Fear should be on your bookshelf if for no other reason than to sit one of your girlfriends down and walk them through the threat of domestic violence questions (which are pretty much the national standard) which help to understand if a partner is prone to violence. You can probably get Facing Violence from the library- no need to read the sections on self defense. For those living in areas prone to fights among young men, the processes which lead to man on man violence is a guide to recognizing when bad things area about to happen and if it is among folks likely to bring guns those around are as likely to be harmed as the combatants.

    I like the idea of having someone know where you are going and when you expect to recontact them. Equally important is really knowing who you are meeting. My personal feeling is that you should not trust your body and soul to someone who refuses to provide a real, searchable name. That does not mean you can not meet for dinner or drinks but that before you meet privately you should know that information.

  27. RussianSB says:

    Frank, you see, her profile maybe suspended,because ofcomplaints :)
    Dear, in the web dating, 35 mean 45.
    You are so naive little boy …

  28. RussianSB says:

    Boys also love to minus 10 years in profiles.
    I don’t think it is a crime.

  29. twiceshy says:

    @treasured yeeees….you would enjoy that wouldn’t you! :)

  30. Lexxy says:

    If I get fed 3 square meals, someone as hot as treasured, and a nice bed, I’ll become someones sex slave…
    I hate studying :D

  31. RussianSB says:

    Twiceshy is also hot.

  32. Treasured says:

    @ Twiceshy – you certainly would :P

    @Lexxy – you can apply within <——-

    :D

  33. Frank says:

    Russia-you are 37? I thought I detected some maturity in there some where. lol

  34. RussianSB says:

    No, Frank, I am 33, but I must put 26, because girls who write ”33” usually are 40. And have a look at my recent profile pictures, please, I am definately not 40 :)
    I know, it is difficult math, but you can manage it, Dear :))))
    All my girlfriends are 25, but they have adult children…
    but they are in shape and with tunning :)

  35. Tina says:

    From a previous blog: @Lady_t2121: your comments weren’t posted at first because they were in moderation; your comments will post as soon as you submit now. For the “pictures”, go to gravatar . com and use the same e-mail address as you do to submit comments here.

    @Frank: if she’s already complaining to you, I would run. Unless you want to be brought down emotionally every time her life takes a downward turn I wouldn’t start an arrangement. But that’s just me :D

  36. RussianSB says:

    Just put my pictures at age scale at 33 level, and then you will see who is older, and who is younger (younger is troubles for you).

  37. RussianSB says:

    I agree with Tina, girl already annoy you. I meet from the web ONLY if it looks and sounds perfect for me.

  38. RussianSB says:

    Where is everybody ?? Where my Dr. Jack ??
    Americans reject Sugar before Easter ? It is sacrifise ?

  39. Lo says:

    lol I know I hear crickets chirping

  40. RussianSB says:

    Then, Lo, you are in South of France …
    We still…have…snow… in Moscow !!!

  41. Lo says:

    hahahahah i reaaaaallly wouldnt mind hanging out in the south of france right now

  42. Tina says:

    It was almost 90 degrees F here today. We’re getting a cold front in the next day or two, and it will only get up to the mid 60s F ;)

  43. RussianSB says:

    I cought some golden boy(30 y.o.) from a good family with pockets full of cash, he offers to go to Kayman (I am not sure it is correct spelling) Islands. He is handsome and educated, ivy league … So I offer him sugar dating, motivating that I am from workers&farmers class family (BS of course), and we can have nothing in common exept grate sex. His name is David, bastard wearing 15k diamond flashy ring, noway I will beh is next non-sugar GF. Take it or leave it !
    I guess he will leave …

  44. RussianSB says:

    I am back from the trip with someone who made Jimmy Carter campagne (yep, still alive and ready to f…. my brain) and meet that 30 y.o. boy who interested in f…. my brain too. I HAVE NO BRAIN !!! Don’t even try ! Echo from left ear to my right ear. I want to find someone 45-50 y.o. who will be interested in my body, and who is genuine keeper. It is so difficult !

  45. RussianSB says:

    Pity… he is so cute … what a daddy he can be for me ! The most surprising that he really CAN ! Smart-experienced-beaten boy, and me, it is something !
    But his greed is ruining everything … No way we can have compromise. I decide to have sugar period in life and filter out every man who show interest in me with same standards.

  46. Tina says:

    I have a new recipe – a spinach salad with a mayo/bacon jam dressing…..SUPER yummy! :) I had it tonight with Parmesan crusted tilapia………

  47. Frank says:

    Russia, I like your new profile photos. You don’t look a day older that your stated 26, no wonder you are getting so much sugar action.

    It was sunny and 70 yesterday, and supposed to be snowy and 30 tomorrow. But I was able to get my 50 mile ride in and my mind is right.

    Got 3 interviews with pot SB next week. One to see if she is going to whine the whole time we have brunch, one to see if she is as kinky and she claims to be, and one to see if she is as pretty as her pictures. (I am a little nervous about this last one, she is just a little too ready to share her pictures and face time for a nice present. )

  48. Tina says:

    @Frank: good luck, and be a strong man! Some SBs will keep asking to see how much you will give before you say no. I respect a man more who gives what he can, but knows his own limits. And also gives more as he gets to know me, using it as one method to show me how special I am becoming to him. (Of course, there are other, more personal displays of affection that I prefer, but that is just one of them).

    :)

  49. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    Tina~ That sounds yummy indeed!!! :P

    Frank~ No every SB lies about age on a profile. I don’t and I’m ekkkk… 40, I am told I look a lot younger and a lot better in real life..
    We are getting a lot of snow too this week, we must be close to one another…

    I think It’s up to you to add what ever age you want to your profile, but eventually won’t you have to tell?

  50. Treasured says:

    Russian – men before 35 rarely have an ability to be SDs.

    Age… Hmm…. I never lie about my age. I am 27 and love it.

    A question, why would you lie about your age, Russian? You are 33, not 53, look great… Eventually you would have to tell the truth…

    I am just curious, what motivates good looking girls to lie about the age? Well, in the Sugar relationship, that is it.

    I don’t ever lie in Sugar about my age. He will have to book my tickets, so the truth will be discovered. And after talking with one friendly SD (nothing between us. Didn’t work out in the beginning, so now we are just friends), said – if she lies about her age, what else is/will she be lying about?

    But… There are some exceptions :D
    Last year, in Cannes, me an my friend went partying… And, since I already look like a teenager sometimes, we met two REALLY cute young guys (23-25). After all the SDs, it was a breath of fresh air – literally. So… I did not exactly lied about my age, I just let him assume that I am younger, by saying I just started studying (which I did, so did not lie about that).
    Well, I did not want to kill the mood :D Also, being “younger” lets you play the “I am all innocent” trick – hence it was so lovely. Just dancing, some kissing, walk back to the hotel and a bye bye, without pressing to go upstairs :D

  51. flyr says:

    @Frank ” she is just a little too ready to share her pictures and face time for a nice present. )”

    I asked a SB to look deep into her crystal ball to see what lies in your future.

    Her response – When the gifts begin before the fun begins and are payments for pictures and video it’s a very bad sign unless you are looking for an upgraded hooker.

  52. Frank says:

    Flyr-that’s what it feels like to me, early signs of hookerism.

    Treasure- 27 is a good age, so I can understand why you don’t feel the need to lie about your age. The temptation to lie will come when you are 35 and still look 27. People just feel differently about you when you are older. I have the good fortune to look considerable younger than I am, and often when people learn my true age they act different to me.

    Met the first pot today, she text ed me and wanted to bring all her of bills and pay stubs so she could show me why she needed money. I told her no- we needed to see if chemistry was there yet.

    She was in good shape but a little plain. Chemistry is up in the air for me. She says I am someone she would consider dating in real life and says I should call myself Mr. Fit. Going to see her again to see if chemistry is there.

  53. Treasured says:

    Frank, as experience shows, if you don’t feel chemistry in the first 5 to 15 minutes of meeting, it is not going to happen ;)

    But, perhaps, for men it is different.

  54. Lo says:

    Frank what do you mean by plain?

  55. Rockshock says:

    Frank – I am an SD 37 but if a girl brings too many stories befor even chemistry has started then that’s a bad sign… Definitely a wait and see but my guess is calls for money is constant and consistent… More of a pest than an SB..

  56. SW says:

    Question? My SD has been great he is mid 30′s we see each other monthly he gives me $1000/mo and the dates are fun, gifts, txt alot.

    Here is my question we hung this past weekend and it was cool. Went to a concert, great food, museum, etc. He flew me cross country to do this with him. Going off cheapair.com probably a $700 flight…the kicker is he only gave me $750 this month.

    Im not one to nit pick just wondering should I bring it up or wait and see what next month holds? Lastly, he is going to Italy for 3 weeks in June and said ahead of time we cant hang out. Do I expect a allowance or not?

    Any opinions are welcome!

  57. Bella says:

    Frank, I think she sounds desperate. Desperation isn’t attractive, and I think it sends warning signals (and the dating you in real life bit? She means she would date your wallet. You don’t know whether you’d truly like to date someone, a stranger no less, after one date, particularly if there’s not an immediate and intense mutual attraction.) And I agree with Treasured, if you can’t say there’s chemistry after the first date, and she’s plainer than you expected which would mean less physical attraction on your part, then she probably isn’t the right match for you.

    But hey, I’ve been known to be wrong before!

  58. ContentSB says:

    Hey sugars — Just popping in quickly to say hi…hope everyone is doing well and of course staying safe in the sugar bowl :)

  59. Frank says:

    @lo-Frank what do you mean by plain? She doesn’t exude sex appeal, more like a school teacher. Dressed nice, but not sexy. Not that there is any thing wrong with that.

    @Bella: You don’t know whether you’d truly like to date someone, a stranger no less, after one date, particularly.
    Bella what I meant to say was I was someone she would consider going out with, not as in gong with as in a steady dating relationship. Not so sure it was bull shit, but certainly could be. I am “en guard” with all potential sugars.

  60. Frank says:

    Beach girl, it didn’t snow here in VA, just rained all day. Getting sick of this rainy winter we are having. Where are you located?

  61. Tina says:

    @Frank, darling, I’d gladly take your rain!!!! It would lower my water bill in the drought stricken area I’m in :(

  62. Frank says:

    Tina, I’ll do my move the rain clouds dance. We had a severe drought here up until late November, but its been rainy ever since! And now we are getting ready for April showers!

  63. Lo says:

    thanks for clarifying Frank.

    Just met up with my next pot SD. He’s asian and his last sugarbabies were asian…which means I’m nervous that maybe my vageen won’t be tight enough for what’s he’s used to? Not that I’ve ever been called loose but you know…

    Anywho my other SD who I usually see hasn’t called me. Maybe I’m really really bad at faking good sex lol.

  64. Frank says:

    Lo, I could check it out for you if it would make you feel less nervous. That’s the kind of nice guy I am.

    But in the meantime I have two words for you: Ben Wa

  65. Lo says:

    LOL you can be my gyno

  66. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    ContentSB~ Hi :D

    Frank~ I’m in Montreal and we are gonna get 2 feet of f’n snow tomorrow… I hate snow… Rain is hard to deal with on a daily basis. Grey and cloudy, I would miss the sun. When are your other dates, didn’t you have 3 schedule?

    Lo~ Asians are apparently freaky in bed. Just what I heard :P I’m sure you will be fine

  67. Treasured says:

    Hey all:)

    Content-how have you been?

    Tina- move to where I am, never problems with rain here.

    Frank, I think we need an avatar of you to tell if you are dateble in real life.

    Lo-good luck. And practise your kegels.

    As for moi, I’m off to Asia today:D Yay!

  68. Frank says:

    @lo-LOL you can be my gyno I will be your gyno, just need to bring along my nurse to make sure we examine all areas in detail. lol

    Beach-girl- maybe you need to change your name to snow bunny.

    And am looking at 3 pot. Had a coffee date with plain girl, she’s nice but the more I talk with her the more concerns I have., She told me a list of 3 medications she was on, didn’t quite catch them all, but think they were anti depressants. Then after our coffee date, she texts me and says she didn’t get anything else done because she was having an anxiety attack. (that gives me an anxiety attack just thinking about it) update-we were to meet for breakfast today before she was to go to work, and she cancels at last minute. I am relieved!
    Kinky girl couldn’t meet with me today and I am going to reschedule her for next week.
    Photo girl, I am a little leery of her, but will text her later today to find out her day off.

    In the mean time almost exsugar baby tells me she misses her SD, and has been having sex dreams about me. I know what she is missing, the sugar. She also tells me that she has been in the tanning booth and has a good tan going (she has great legs!) So she is really missing the sugar, I am really missing the great sex, so it sounds like a match made in sugar heaven. Going to see her Thursday after work.

  69. Frank says:

    Treasure- A couple of months ago I had an avatar of my legs (my best feature I’m told). did you miss it?

  70. Treasured says:

    Lol Frank! Go for your sugar heaven;)

    Unfortunately I did miss the picture, but I’d need a bit more to judge if you are dateble/fuckable:D

  71. Frank says:

    Well you can probable tell if I’m datable from my photos (and I have a great personality as well) but I’m not sure if you tell if I’m fuckable from a photo. I’ll see about getting you a reference. teehee, will work on it Thursday!

  72. Treasured says:

    I have a magic gift, I can tell if one is fuckable or not even by a photo with the face blurred:D

    Hmmm… A reference. Now then, that would be interesting:D

  73. Theresa says:

    @Frank RUN!!! Don’t walk from plain girl!! You don’t want to deal with her and her drama. Now I’m not saying that all girls who take pills are bad or even the fact that she was honest with you and told you that she does take pills should be a turn off for you. What I am saying though is that from what you have told us is that this girls seems extra needy and desperate and maybe even a little co-dependent. She just seems like too much trouble than she is worth. I wouldn’t get involved with her if I were you. Maybe you should go back to your ex-SB. It seems like you two had a pretty good relationship going where you both got what you wanted. That’s just my humble opinion.

  74. Lo says:

    lol I love how everyone has deemed her “the plain girl”

  75. twiceshy says:

    @SW You need to have an agreement on how these amounts are to be paid. In my view it is either transactional, which means that when you meet you get paid X amount, or a flat monthly arrangement.

    For a flat monthly arrangement, which is what I am assuming you thought you had:

    If *you* are at fault and cannot meet up one month, then it’s the SD’s discretion what to pay. And you can hope that he is reasonable if your own reasons are good ones.

    If the SD is at fault and cannot meet up a month through no fault of your own, then you should get your full agreed upon amount.

    The reasoning is that as an SD, he can decide to transfer your monthly allowance to someone else who he’s fooling around with. Similarly, you can decide to just do other things one particular month when you just don’t feel like meeting. This keeps both parties fairly honest.

    Everything is negotiable, but I think this should be your starting position. As time goes on, none of this should even be an issue if the two of you get to know each other well.

    My 2¢

  76. Frank says:

    SW- I agree with twiceshy reasoning. If you can’t meet for that months visit, its on you, it he can’t you should still get your allowance. As to the 750, maybe that’t because he spent a lot of money for the weekend, and he thought it made up for it. If he shorts you again, discuss it with him.

    Theresa- I totally agree, I am running for the exit. I woke up twice last night wondering how I was going to tell her we weren’t going to be sugars. That is just after one lunch and one hug. I have had enough crazy girl friends in my like, don’t need another.

    Treasure- for you I would give you full frontal nudity. Let’s exchange emails.

    Oh-no!! Just got a text from plain girl, she wants to call me. Yikes!!!! Gonna tell her I’m at work. Does anybody know how to get in the witness protection program.

  77. RussianSB says:

    No, only how to get into tits protection programme :)

  78. Frank says:

    Russia tits protection program = padded bra?

  79. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!

    1 1/2 feet of snow and still falling, I hate snow, I should of stayed at the beach

    Frank~ I don’t like winter or snow at all. I use to live near the beach in California… Padded bra LoL too funny, I needed that, I am so nervous about what I have tomorrow that it feels good to laugh :D

    Treasured~ Have a safe trip, lucky girl! Have fun :D

  80. Lo says:

    hello everyone, I need allowance help. Lets say regular allowance is six fifty per meet, but for our next meet I’m only doing oral because it’s that time of month, how much sugar should I get? Thanks

  81. Korben_Dallas says:

    Ladies, hello!

    I’m new to the SA world and have been checking the blog for a few days. I’m confused about how to search a member number. I’ve been trying to check out specific SB profiles to get an idea about what the competition looks like (from reading the comments), and my searches show 0 results. What am I doing wrong? I am a premium member/student. Please help :)

  82. Tina says:

    @Lo: your allowance amount should change if you can’t have sex but still provide sexual contact. Being a SB is more than that – it’s your company, your personality, your ability to de-stress and make him smile (as well as freak-a-liciuos sex stuff).

    But, that’s just my opinion ;)

  83. Tina says:

    *shouldn’t

  84. Lo says:

    well I think he views not being able to have intercourse as a package with less services, kind of like when you go to a car wash and you pick the most basic option for less money. I’m trying to pick a decent number but I haven’t been in this situation before so I’m not sure.

  85. Tina says:

    @Lo: I would worry that the inability to have sex due to a natural occurrence is a reason, in his mind at least, to decrease your allowance. It isn’t as if you are holding back any sexual contact. But, again, this is just my opinion. I don’t know what your specific arrangement is, as I really don’t know either of you. I hope it all goes well though!

  86. sweetie says:

    changing name, sorry

  87. sweetie says:

    Hello everyone!

    New SB here. I am confused about how to search members by number. I have premium membership and have been trying to look up particular SB number from your posts to get an idea about other SB profiles. Anyway, my searches come back with no results. What am I doing wrong?

  88. Frank says:

    I think you should go on the pill and skip that period.

    Otherwise I would suggest you get your best friend to join you and you might get a bonus.

    Failing any of that, it depends on how long you have been together, the longer the less you should have to cut, if it is near the first time, a larger cut should be offered, but if I would hope he would refuse the cut in either case.

    Beach girl- a foot and half of snow in March, get out of that place quick!

  89. Lo says:

    well he brought up the cut :/, it’s the first time. Should I cut it in half??

  90. Beach_Girl says:

    Hello Sugars!!

    Frank~ Yep, I need a sunny and warm vacation.. :D Did you tell the “plain SB” that you weren’t interested yet? If not, you should do it soon, she might become stalkerish… just a thought?

    Lo~ I would think that he would understand, my exSD never cut my allowance if I was on that time of the month. I would actually be pissed if someone said to me, well you’re on that time of the month so… only oral that night/weekend, you’re not getting your full allowance… I’m sorry that is happening, I know some SDs want what they want, when they want it … F.. the consequences.
    It happened once that it was that time and he didn’t mind, He actually thought it was different and we had a great night anyways. He didn’t cut my allowance or said he was thinking about it.

  91. Lo says:

    siiiigh maybe socal just breeds cheap sd’s

  92. Beach_Girl says:

    Lo~ I don’t know… maybe he just thinks he can get away with it, I have no clue. Maybe ask him why you should get a lower allowance because you can’t have sex but you can still have fun. I miss cali so much, is it nice and sunny warm? :D

  93. Bella says:

    That’s utter bullshit. First of all, it’s a natural biological process that is out of your control unless you want to take extra birth control, and it’s also implying that he thinks you’re much closer to a hooker who is only good for sex in his books. Tell him if he wants you to not get your period so he can have sex whenever he wants, then he’s going to have to pay you a higher allowance to account for the cost of extra birth control plus the hormonal stresses placed on your body. He gets what he pays for.

  94. Lo says:

    lol thx guys for the input ill work something out with him tomorrow when I see him
    ya beach girl its warm and sunny and all that jazz

  95. Beach_Girl says:

    Lo~ I can’t wait to go back, I need to see my peeps out there :D I also need the sun and my Beach! lol

  96. sTacy, says:

    Lo –

    First and foremost he’s an ass, f$ck him that he wants to cut your allowance because you’re NOT pregnant. Would he rather you not have your period because you got knocked up?

    2- Why do you still have a period?!? Get on a better pill ASAP and life will be so much better. No medical reason women should still be having periods! It’s better for your body to do continuous cycle BC.

    3 – Until then, get a Diva Cup from Walgreens: divacup.com – captures all the blood, no mess, and neither of you can feel it.

    4 – If you do cut, it should be exactly equivalent to how much extra you charge him when he doesn’t make you cum, or $0, whichever is less. As$hike!!!

  97. Fly says:

    @LO ‘hello everyone, I need allowance help. Lets say regular allowance is six fifty per meet, but for our next meet I’m only doing oral because it’s that time of month, how much sugar should I get? Thanks”

    I think a much classier thing for the guy to do is to agree on a monthly allowance and take it as it comes. The idea of sugar is that it is not like the guy sending his car through the carwash but rather some form of a relationship.

    From a guy’s perspective it’s a suicidal time of the month to punish a woman for something she has no control over.

    If the guy is terminally squeamish then he can go out for girls games .

    F

  98. Jersey Darling says:

    @Lo, when you are charging by sex act you are hooking. Why do that to yourself?

    Find a proper SD, not a John.

  99. Jersey Darling says:

    And an addendum…

    Yes, if you’re hooking of course you’ll get paid less for not having sex. What would you expect?

    While its possible to get paid every time you see each other and still have it be sugar and not prostitution, it’s rare.

  100. Frank says:

    Another perspective- the SD is a salesman, whose only income is his sales commissions. There is a flood (a natural occurrence) and his income for that month is cut in half. Should he ask is sugar to cut her allowance in half that month.

    Jersey, I am not so sure that getting paid based on how many times you see each other is not sugar. When I start a sugar relationship, that is similar to how I structure the deal. Remember the time I got burnt when SB ran off after getting her allowance up front. So what we usually do is decide on a monthly amount, and she gets paid weekly until we have seen each other for a few times.

    Here is a different situation, my current SB is getting lax about seeing me, we both have tight schedules. If she gets the same amount each month no matter if she sees me or not, she has lost the incentive to see me. When I posted about this situation a month or so ago, someone advised me to start paying based on ,and if she saw me. I am transitioning to this now.

  101. Fly says:

    @ Frank “Here is a different situation, my current SB is getting lax about seeing me, we both have tight schedules. If she gets the same amount each month no matter if she sees me or not, she has lost the incentive to see me. When I posted about this situation a month or so ago, someone advised me to start paying based on ,and if she saw me. I am transitioning to this now.”

    The other side of that coin is that you have a SB where there is a connection on multiple levels that is genuine. What was supposed to be a few hours each week expands to an occasional overnight, you hare awesome discussions and adventures.

    Related to the original comment I agree it does take two people who understand the minimum expectations and commitment. As many have noted there are attitude changes, physical accommodations to take care of the problem and opportunities to schedule around the event – all three work where there is a shared commitment.

    The more common reason for needing to adjust schedules is the common cold or flu. For that there is no real workaround for people who need to be performing every day.

  102. Lo says:

    Well where are these fairytale SD’s that offer these large unwavering amounts upfront? Maybe I could find them in real life, at a car show, or a golf tournament, or some yachting event but on here and the other site I’m on? Not so sure anymore. I’ve been on both for months and I have not found an arrangement that isn’t mostly sexual in nature. Whether you receive the money in a lump sum or x per meet, the basis is still sex for money with some extra company added in–sugarcoated prostitution.

  103. Frank says:

    @lo: Well where are these fairytale SD’s that offer these large unwavering amounts upfront? Maybe I could find them in real life, at a car show, or a golf tournament, or some yachting event but on here and the other site I’m on?

    That’s were they are, in fairyland. The same place where a good looking sugar babe falls in love with a tired old man.

  104. Lo says:

    Lol I hear you

  105. RussianSB says:

    Lo, look always in real life !!! Sometimes checking your profile – once a week, and enjoy reading the blog.

  106. RussianSB says:

    Boys are busy, it is why they have one finger in internet, while in meeting, on the plane, or in parlament session (in Russia they do). But we, girls, not that busy , we can find time for dating, or visiting nice parties.

  107. sTacy, says:

    Lo – you may not want them, they provide unwavering amounts because they want your unwavering attention!

  108. sweetie says:

    Hello ladies and gentlemen!

    New SB here, happy to be here as well. I’ve been reading the blog for the last few days, it is informative on what SD/SB means, so thank you for all the hard work, it is appreciated. Well, I’ve been trying to search SB by profile number (to check out the competition) and my searches get 0 results. What am I doing wrong? I do have premium membership, as I am a student. Please help :)

  109. Lo says:

    my newest SD looks like buddah. After seeing his penis tonight I’m almost sure my vagina is gonna feel like a black hole to him.

  110. sTacy, says:

    Lo – go to the sex shop, get a muscle tensing cream and read the KamaSutra.

  111. Lo says:

    muscle tensing cream…good suggestion totally forgot about those

  112. gtt_envy says:

    Lo, we need to find a way to talk off the blog!! You seem like someone I need to get to know ;)

  113. WCSD says:

    @Lo – As other have stated, I also think it is ridiculous that there is a ‘cut’ due to that time of the month. I also agree with Flyr and don’t have a problem with their being a per meet rate at the start of the relationship (and this is the first time you are meeting). I guess my suggestion would be, if this is such an issue for him (and obviously for you in taking a cut) why wouldn’t you just want 5 days and meet him for the first time after that? Also, have you agreed that on your first meet you will be having sex? That is never an expectation of mine (not that I’d turn it down), and it also isn’t an expectation of any pot of mine that on the first meet she should expect an allowance (gas money, etc. sure, but not an allowance, this is just a meet to see if we click). Again, many details missing for your question, but my suggestion would be either a) wait to meet him when this isn’t an issue, or b) get rid of him.

    Now, how many of us guys (in our lives) have been ‘turned down’ for sex by the other person just saying “I’m on my period”? I’m sure it has been numerous for me, and my sistere has told me of many times she has done it herself. It isn’t like any guy is going to check if you are lying…. so that could be what he is thinking (that you are trying to just fool him for $650). But, if that is how he is thinking, and you are thinking he is trying to screw you out of money for natural thing, then the real problem isn’t your period, it is that you are talking about allowances and considering having sex with each other with VERY little trust established between the two of you….

  114. gtt_envy says:

    @Lo, you and I should get to know one another!!

  115. RussianSB says:

    Done. At Monday I go to cool party … to add some adventures to my life ( as if I have not enough last time ) . Spring in the air, and I have 3 beautiful sexy fashion outfits, it always is a VERY good reason to find a man that will match them.
    To look at them at home in the mirror is not enough, if you know what I mean, ladies ! Gizia dresses are not for wives, but for misstresses :)

  116. Jersey Darling says:

    I never said that getting paid per meet is prostituton, but getting paid per sex act is. And often getting paid per meet blurs the line.

    In his case, if he’s cutting the amount because of that time of month, I say that’s prostitution because he’s paying based on what she can do sexually. My advice would be, if this is seriously an issue for him, don’t see him till next time.

  117. LookingGlassSB says:

    lol Lo, some profiles are soooo f*ckn nasty

  118. Michelle. says:

    Hi I’m new at this sugar baby thing I’m 18 (:

  119. RussianSB says:

    Look at that boy 1359583 ! Well written pfofile.

  120. gremlin says:

    The other day I met a guy who wants me to seduce his wife. Im just wondering how common this is?

  121. Nichole says:

    Long time, no talk ladies and gents ;-) between us girls, how long did it take you to get your first sugar daddy?

  122. Lo says:

    took me about three or four months

  123. Nichole says:

    Really? I still haven’t had my first

  124. Lo says:

    Nichole how long have you been on the site and how many messages have you received? If not many then your profile could probably use a little tweaking. Maybe better photos or better profile content.

  125. Nichole says:

    On and off for a year and I get zero messages. Super discouraging.

  126. Lo says:

    Nichole it has to be your profile then because that is absurd…perhaps share your profile under our latest blog entry and maybe people can point you in the right direction so you can have more success?

  127. Nichole says:

    It really is! I wrote people and get a few responses back but not very many and I haven’t been successful at all. This is me: http://www.seekingarrangement.com/member/samedetail.php?id=1240219

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