2 years ago
Thank you London… Hello Los Angeles
  • Posted May 23, 2012
  • Views 6169
  • Written by Brandon Wade

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I am writing this blog post as I am flying back from London where I had just hosted our first European Sugar Party.  The event, which also served as our European Launch party, could not have been more successful.  All the major newspapers in Britain – The Sun, The Independent, The Telegraph, The Daily Mail, and The UK Huffington Post – covered our event in one form or another.  Later this week, Channel 4 and BBC One will be broadcasting a story about Seeking Arrangement and our party as well.  And while I am happy to head home, I am also leaving with sadness because in the past few days, I have met so many wonderful people in London and at the party whom I now consider my dear friends, a part of my team or the Sugar family.

The Standard

When I set out to organize our first Sugar party in the United Kingdom, one thing I did not want was to repeat the same mistakes I had made with our New York parties.  In New York, the party organizer we had been working with was more interested in maximizing his profits and in promoting his own event company than in creating an event that is best suited for the Sugar Bowl. For this reason, I decided I would need a better event partner and also to play an active role in planning our London event.

I was very fortunate to have met Nikki Howarth, a SA Sugar Baby member who reached out to me and told me she would help me plan the party through her newly formed company — Eloquent Events.  Nikki has been wonderful!  She is a proud Sugar Baby –beautiful, funny, hardworking, enterprising, selfless and most of all – extremely loyal to the SA family.  In addition to having planned the most amazing party I have ever hosted, Nikki courageously took a big step by telling the world why she is a Sugar Baby, and dealing with the negative criticisms head on. And in her own words, “There is nothing wrong with wanting to be treated like a Princess”.

Unlike the party in New York, the London party was a lot more fun and interactive.  As some of you may have already heard from the feedback on the blog — there was a fire-breather outside the hotel, a magician who was superbly entertaining, a tarot card reader who gave quite a few Sugar Babies a view into their future, and a comedian who tried hard but was not successful in creating any laughter.  Many of the Sugar Babies were complaining that there were too many women compared to men, even though many were happy just to meet other Sugar Babies and know they are not alone.  But they are right, there was about 4 or 5 girls for every Sugar Daddy.  The truth is many of the Sugar Daddies were standing alone scattered throughout, and just like any social setting, if you really wanted to meet a guy, you should just walk up an introduce yourself!  Sugar Babies aren’t suppose to be shy… remember?

While I was busy during the entire event dealing with the media, and making sure the cameras and video crew weren’t filming at places they were not allowed to (e.g., media were confined to a room at the party, but some did venture out and we had the security almost kick the German TV crew out because they did not follow our rules), I did have a chance to meet many amazing Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies.  Many SA bloggers showed up and I had the opportunity to meet EnglishRose, AsianSB, Karla, Summers, Arcadia SB, and many others.

Next Up:  Los Angeles Sugar Party

Over the next few weeks, once I have had a chance to catch up on things, it will be time to start planning our first Los Angeles Sugar Party which will most likely be held in July or August.   And yes, I do intend to stay extremely involved in the planning process.

For those who attended the London Sugar Party:

How was the London Party?

Do you have any positive or constructive feedback?

Everyone else:

What do you think of a Los Angeles sugar get-together?

Will you attend? Why or why not?

PS: Helen Croydon, an SA Sugar Baby who wrote the book “Sugar Daddy Diaries” was also at the party, and wrote an article that is published in the UK Telegraph newspaper today asking “Why should I be ashamed of sugar daddy dating?“. I hope all in the sugar family will read her article, and post your comment in support of the sugar bowl!

531 Responses to “Thank you London… Hello Los Angeles”

  1. Brandon Wade says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. Madison says:

    I LOVE Los Angeles!! I’m on the East coast but any excuse to fly to LA is a good one!! I’m in!!

  3. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    I’m second to comment!!! yay!!!

  4. BeautifullySweeetSB says:

    Since this next party will be in the States i’m looking forward to attending.

  5. DianaSBinOC says:

    I just posted this in my last comment saying you would so get a real turn out in LA! YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!! I nearly screamed when I saw this post go up!!!!! BRAVO!!!!

  6. DianaSBinOC says:

    JULY IS PERFECT! It’s pools, bikini’s and skin!! Am I the only one that’s really excited!! Hot men that are older but have sexy abs! This is what I’ve been waiting for!! Are you doing a Theme Brandon? Like a white party or a 20s party. I so love themes!! Ok maybe bikinis will be fine!! Ohh a hotel that has a roof top swimming pool would really set the mood! Bardot, Avalon Hollywood. I mean serious turn out here! I can’t wait to see what you guys think up for this one!

  7. Nikki Howarth says:

    Thank you so much Brandon for your kind words. You and Jenn are always welcome I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having you both here and was a hugs honour for me to organise your event which I hoped everyone enjoyed?

    I had a great time meeting everyone at the event it’s lovely to see the sugar bowl together and hearing everyones experiences. There are certainly some very inspiring stories out there!

    Can’t wait for the next one!

  8. SweetEuropean says:

    I think the party was a success, I had alot of fun! There were more B

  9. SweetEuropean says:

    Ooops I sent that before I finished, as I was saying… There were more SBs than SDs but still plenty of opportunity to meet people! I think my favourite part of the party though was the pink chocolate fountain, hehe! ;)

    I wish I could make it to the LA event but I’m so far, I hope there’s going to be more parties in Europe?!

  10. Pumpkin says:

    I have read, with much interest, the articles on the party; and not one of them identifies this lifestyle favourably. Articles are strewn with judgmental insinuations, deliberately chosen, and dare I say, debasing words such as “impoverished”.

    Certainly, there IS balance when two responsible and consenting adults are in mutual agreement regarding the nature and dynamics of their relations.

    What exactly is the real benefit of the press at these events? I just see their continued presence as undermining what Sugar relationships embody — a very PERSONAL and mutually beneficial agreement between two adults. Last I knew, what constitutes “mutually beneficial” is infinite.

    Perhaps too, the promotion of the site as an answer to all a female/male’s financial woes if they have youth to exchange for fawning over an older man/woman also contributes to fueling the fallacy that Sugar is nothing short of a good masquerade for prostitution.

    In a previous post, someone suggested that parties under the radar may be more productive for SBs and SDs.

    If publication and promotion are really needed, a good old Press Release from SA may prove effective.

  11. SarahSB says:

    I would go to a party in Los Angeles. Love the pic for the article by the way. She is very pretty, clean and classy looking. A+++!

  12. NC Gent says:

    Hey SweetEuro — is it ok for the blog gods to exchange our emails? I still feel badly that I didn’t do more for you, and I would like to talk offline so that I can make amends :) No obligations attached!

  13. SweetEuropean says:

    NC; I may still have your number if you haven’t changed it since? :)

  14. NothingMoreNothingLes says:

    WOW this is all sounds so exciting! All though a bit intimidating, it sounds like potentially a really good time.

  15. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ SweetEuropean~ You are gorgeous! You so would love LA! I can already see the boys on the blog falling over themselves to have a chance or a second one.:) It’s nice to see men be pursures again. The world is right back to normal for a change.

  16. Teeny says:

    I would be willing to make the drive from Denver to go to a party in LA.

  17. NC Gent says:

    SweetEuro — yes my number hasn’t changed — you can text or call me — I might call back from my work line cause not sure I have outgoing international on my cell now.

  18. Lovely Light says:

    This sounds like a MUST experience. Thankfully I’m about 40 min away. :) It would be nice to arrive with another Sb. Anyone else in the Ventura County area??

    Cheers
    Lovely Light[img]http://images.seekingarrangement.com/prod/photos/8F75094559E4BDF6FC41CA9A55114766PI.jpg[/img]

  19. SweetEuropean says:

    NC- I just checked, turns out I don’t still have your number so we’ll have to leave this one to the blog gods!
    Diana, thank you :) I’m going to try my best to make it, I have a feeling the LA party is set to be the best one yet!

  20. cas says:

    I will for sure be attending with a friend who is interested in the lifestyle. I have been apart of the SB and SA community for awhile and can speak very highly of this lifestyle. I hope to meet another great SD soon. :)

  21. Midwest SB says:

    LA would be a great time, but I prefer our former smaller gatherings :-)

    NC Gent and SweetEuro – done!

  22. United States SB says:

    Hey are there any other sugar babies in Vegas that I can talk to and hang out with?

  23. Gianna says:

    WooHoo!!! I cant wait for LA party!!! I would love to arrive with some Sbs but all my friends are in Denver. Either way its going to fun!!!

  24. Honey says:

    Hi everyone! have to come back and read all that I have missed!

  25. SD Guru says:

    @Prince Charming

    Thanks for explaining the “alpha geek” perspective (in the mother’s day thread). I have often described “sugar” as the main factor that enables older men to gain access to younger hotter women. However, having access is only one step, what you do with that access can be challenging for some men as you described.

    Just like we shouldn’t assume wealthy men are automatically generous, we also shouldn’t assume that smart successful men are automatically well versed in dealing with attractive women. Some men can come across as socially awkward and it’s up to the SB’s to recognize it and make them feel more comfortable.

    In addition, the alpha geeks tend to have more difficulty in dealing with NSA and can be more susceptible to the white knight syndrome, which could mean they’re more prone to being taken advantage of. Based on what you’ve described about your past sugar relationships it appears this might be the case for you. So these are issues for alpha geeks to consider as they approach pot SB’s and the arrangement discussion.

    “The side effect here is the balance (or rather imbalance) of power between the man and the woman is way different than he’s used to”

    As I’ve explained in “Sugar Dating vs Regular Dating” in my blog, the imbalance of power actually favors SD’s, not the other way around.

    “At this point he’s completely blown away and his brain in melting, switching between “OMG OMG OMG” and “please, god, don’t let me fuck this up”

    That type of response is why I wrote “What is NSA – Part 2” in my blog, and why I said alpha geeks usually have more difficulty dealing with NSA.

    @flyr
    “I would think in terms of something done below the radar. Small parties, perhaps with invitations to target SD’s. An alternative would be for SB’s in an area to simply adopt a nice bar or restaurant with bar area and casually meet on some specific day of the month… Maintain a low profile.”

    As Midwest SB mentioned, in the past there had been small low key gatherings for blog SD/SB’s. And some SB’s in certain areas have arranged casual gatherings as well. Obviously these type of gatherings serve a completely different purpose than the SA parties. Perhaps you’d like to host such a gathering?? :)

    @Brandon

    Congrats to you, Jenn, and Nikki for a successful party and the extensive media coverage! After the LA bash, perhaps you could consider Miami as the next party destination in the fall? :idea:

  26. bav says:

    Mr. Brandon Wade
    I did not know about the London party. When will you be holding a London party next?
    Thanks

  27. NC Gent says:

    Thanks Midwest — as always, you rock!

  28. Nawty Molly says:

    Just thought I stop by and say hi to everyone! Hope all is well! :)

  29. caliSB says:

    omg,when I seen the Title of the post I was like YAY !! I can see already this will be a successful event,should be a theme party.. like white clothes,or bikini,or school girl :)

  30. Madison says:

    A party in California needs to be OLD HOLLYWOOD style. :):)

  31. Madison says:

    Bring on the long gloves and glamorous dresses with men dressed in tux. ha!

  32. ContentSB says:

    Hey sugars! It sounds like the London party went pretty well, minus the girl:guy ratio. Hopefully that won’t be an issue in LA :)

    I just had a guy ask me to contact him via email….his email was BWC 4 U 69…..seriously??? Next. That is so not my ideal Bond-esque gentleman.

    Speaking of…Jessie…is your SD still spoiling you with gifts from your WL?? If he ever figures out how to clone himself, you can send him my way :)

  33. ashley says:

    Hi all,
    im looking forward to a party in LA,
    Im near Fullerton if any sbs are carpooling

  34. RobM says:

    Is anyone actually going to comment or recount any experience on the London party at all?
    I am far away but would be interested to know how it went from both SD and SB perpectives

  35. Tru says:

    LA Sugar Party sounds great* I will definitely be there! New to this whole thing but I’m having fun already!

  36. SD Guru says:

    @RobM
    “Is anyone actually going to comment or recount any experience on the London party at all?”

    There were several comments in the previous blog topics. You can see two of them here and here.

  37. Kat B says:

    I will forsure be at the los angeles sugar party…I’m from los angeles and live in Los Angeles and ive been waiting for this moment!! Yeayyy!!! I will probubly meet My SD since i havent met anyone yet.

  38. SarahSB says:

    Please do not have a bikini theme. Thats almost as bad as an SD suggesting a ‘hot tub’ outing as a way to get to know you. Almost.

  39. PhoneGuy says:

    >his email was BWC 4 U 69…..seriously???
    Sorry Content, I should have given you my work email. ;-)

  40. jenn says:

    Hey fellow sugars, I am in need of some advice.
    One of my SDs that I have known for almost a year asked me if he could start coming over to my apartment (which I share with another woman) to have sex. Formerly he would get a room in a hotel. How do you girls feel about having your SD come to where you live? Personally I find it a bit creepy but I am not sure why. The whole roommate thing makes things even weirder, me closing my bedroom door with a 52 year old man inside is a bit weird. What do you think? And I am not sure how to tell him I don’t want him coming over without hurting his feelings.

  41. ContentSB says:

    @PhoneGuy — Either that, or included a picture to prove the BWC part…because all girls just *love* a good dick pic….

  42. Lee says:

    Please plan a Chicago sugar party! I’ll help :)

  43. Christiana says:

    @jenn well to me it isn’t weird because my SD owns my apartment and I don’t share…is your SD a cheapskate? if I were in your situation it would be weird I think too.

  44. flyr says:

    @jean ask him over while your roommate is at work…………………….. I assume he is married so he can not entertain at his place.

    Personally I hate hotels. Probably too many years of traveling . Even thought some of the places are nice on the road sucks after too many years . The only exception is a really nice hotel.

    The alternate solution is for him to pay for you to have your own apartment.

  45. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ jenn

    I actually I had this same discussion in another one of the last blogs. The guy wanted to offer me 500 per meet as a married man to have sex at my place because he couldn’t afford hotels. Obviously I passed on this guy but I found it weird for a guy to claim to be a sugar daddy but not be able to afford a nice hotel. He also decided to offer me instead $600 a week to get daily sex but still wanted me to allow him over to my place. I don’t have roommates but still I feel we should all have private spaces that allow for NSA. It’s not like I can just pop over and wave to the wife asking if he’s ready for our date. I expect the same respect. I think it’s weird all around.

    It may be time to ask him to take it to the next level and purchase you a house , condo or 1 year worth of rent for a nice apartment. You’ve already been seeing him for a year, I’m pretty sure he knows he can trust you and if not then you two can go apartment hunting for a place. He can sign a 1 year lease , pay in advance and then there will not be such an issue.

    Then again if he’s complaining about a few hundred dollars for a hotel then he’s a bargain daddy not a sugar daddy. Plus you said he’s “one” of your daddies so maybe all of them combined can pitch in for a place. Seems one is never enough generally because one is not doing enough.

  46. flyr says:

    @Jenn “One of my SDs that I have known for almost a year a” Is that “of my SD’s ” as in my 3 current SD’s ????????

  47. DianaSBinOC says:

    @flyr I read that too. As I said before many sbs are seeing multiples. Just reading about this bargain daddy complaining about paying for hotels is a clear example as to why sbs have more than one.

  48. flyr says:

    @sd guru – I would be tempted to host a party but I live somewhat out in the country and more importantly the gods of fate appeared to have delivered one Mark IV sugar doll into my lap this last week. Thankfully we reached a meeting of the minds over a fine bottle of Chardonnay on our fourth meeting.

    I was about to give up on her and had a second date scheduled the following evening with another sb who asked if she could come over and watch the sunset and share some wine at an apartment I keep near my office. It was pretty clear where that was going to end.

    I mention the above as there is a shelf life for the getting acquainted process.

  49. flyr says:

    @diana “a clear example as to why sbs have more than one.”

    In this economy it is pretty easy to find a three or four star hotel for a very low price in most cities if you are willing to spend a few minutes on the computer.

  50. SarahSB says:

    jenn – my roommates and i have a ‘no guys’ policy at our house. No boyfriends, no sugar daddies, no random dudes hanging around. period.

    if i lived alone and really trusted the guy, we had seen each other for a year, and he wasn’t married, then sure i would have no problem with him coming over my place. age wouldn’t have much to do with the decision in my case as i have always dated older men. if he was married i would be exceptionally hesitant to let him come over. in fact i’m not sure that i would ever let him come over at all. i know my neighbors well and i can explain dating an old guy, but i can’t explain dating a married guy.

    i would be open to the ‘one year prepaid lease’ idea with a guy who i really liked – but i see no significant advantage to you with that particular situation. it doesn’t sound like you need a place to live. right? all i see a ‘one year prepaid lease’ doing is giving you two a more comfortable place to hang out together, and in a setting which he prefers. if he wants that setting so bad then he can pre pay the lease AND maintain your current allowance. but he sounds cheap, so i doubt that will ever happen. lol

    like flyr said, it’s easy to find a nice cheap hotel room in within minutes. (that sounds so sleazy after i read it again)

    speaking of cheap…today i had a guy offer me $250 for a ‘date’ (or so he called it). he even went so far as to break down his budget for the day…”I have a budget of $1000 per day. I want to spend $500 on hotel/entertainment, $250 on dinner, then give you $250.” I laughed hysterically. I’m not sure what made me laugh more, the dollar figure or the budget explanation.

  51. lisa says:

    I am so gutted i missed this :(

  52. lisa says:

    [img]http://tinypic.com/r/353cyfd/6[/img]

  53. Va Gentleman says:

    @jenn

    ” One of my SDs that I have known for almost a year asked me if he could start coming over to my apartment (which I share with another woman) to have sex. ”

    there are two reasons why he might want this jenn. 1) he wants the feeling of a relationship and more intimacy rather than a John entertaining his Ho. and/or 2) he does have a budget and finds the hotels stretching him a little bit

    I agree with you that it would be awkward with a roommate sneaking around and trying to be quiet if she were home ,so you should tell him that it doesn’t work with a Roomie in the picture .

    ” The whole — thing makes things even weirder —-with a 52 year old man inside ”

    If you are ashamed of your relationship with this older man maybe you shouldn’t be doing it at all ?

    @ Diana SB

    ” It may be time to ask him to take it to the next level and purchase you a house , condo or 1 year worth of rent for a nice apartment ”

    Sigh —there you go Diana weilding a hammer instead of surgical tap . I think it’s OK for a guy to ask . I would not ask my SB since she has 2 roommates and I wouldn’t want to put her in an awkward position . Now if she lived alone that would be a different story and the discussion should ensue re: paying for her own place ,etc .

    ” Then again if he’s complaining about a few hundred dollars for a hotel then he’s a bargain daddy –”

    Some guys aren’t zillionaires but are good SDs –don’t demean them. If jenn is happy enough with him to see him for a year he must be doing something right .

    ” Seems one is never enough generally because one is not doing enough. ”

    This smacks of greed ,entitlement , and escorting doesn’t it ? If you have a guy who is helping you with expenses vs multiple guys paying for sex ? —- hmmm—just asking .

  54. SD Guru says:

    @Sarah SB
    “i know my neighbors well and i can explain dating an old guy, but i can’t explain dating a married guy.”

    How would your neighbors know he’s married in the first place… because he looks “married”? :P

    “I’m not sure what made me laugh more, the dollar figure or the budget explanation.”

    What if he had offerred you the the same $1k/day but let you spend it anyway you want, would that have made a difference?

    @DianaSBinOC
    “Seems one (SD) is never enough generally because one is not doing enough.”

    That seems to run counter to some SB’s portrayal of how easy it is to find very generous SD’s. Regardless, instead of having multiple SD’s because one is not doing enough, the alternative could be to not take on any SD’s until a SB finds one that can take care of everything. It’s a choice the SB’s make.

  55. Renee says:

    Hello I’new to the site and sugar daddy relationship and was wondering if someone can give me some advice on how to meet a real sugar daddy

  56. GTT_Envy says:

    I think every SD likes to believe the arrangement they have with their SB is the only one! The more I read and become friends with these girls the more it seems this simply is just not the case. I can’t say that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside either……lol.

    I guess it all depends on the number ($$$) the SB is trying to hit so to speak. I truly think the SD’s providing 5K+/month in allowance plus perks are very few and far between…..so if that’s the ultimate goal of the SB then multiple may be the only way to go.

  57. Va Gentleman says:

    @ GTT_Envy

    ” I think every SD likes to believe the arrangement they have with their SB is the only one! ”

    I sure do ! But I see that a lot of SDs do not care about monogamy, and there are certainly a lot of SBs who multi–er–task .

  58. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Va-” Then again if he’s complaining about a few hundred dollars for a hotel then he’s a bargain daddy –”

    “Some guys aren’t zillionaires but are good SDs –don’t demean them. If jenn is happy enough with him to see him for a year he must be doing something right .”

    I didn’t have to demean him , he did that all on his own. If a guy feels he needs to be a zillionaire in his 50′s to be able to afford hotels he’s not a sugar daddy at all. Seriously where did you get that from? This guy is more of a coupon clipper and apparently not a good one at that.

    @DianaSBinOC
    “Seems one (SD) is never enough generally because one is not doing enough.”

    That seems to run counter to some SB’s portrayal of how easy it is to find very generous SD’s. Regardless, instead of having multiple SD’s because one is not doing enough, the alternative could be to not take on any SD’s until a SB finds one that can take care of everything. It’s a choice the SB’s make.

    If they were truly generous we wouldn’t be having this current discussion. Plus there wouldn’t be so many sbs with multiple SDs. Of course they can chose to wait for one or can choose to see multiples. This goes without saying.

    VA-” Seems one is never enough generally because one is not doing enough. ”

    “This smacks of greed ,entitlement , and escorting doesn’t it ? If you have a guy who is helping you with expenses vs multiple guys paying for sex ? —- hmmm—just asking .”

    This smacks of fake sd’s claiming to be real ones that are really salty johns in diguise. Was she supposed to provide her own incall location? Perhaps he’s used to escorts already having the hotel pre paid for. There’s nothing greedy or entitled about someone providing what was agreed upon. He’s the one trying to cut corners and save a few hundred, that does sound like johnish behavior to me.

    VA” It may be time to ask him to take it to the next level and purchase you a house , condo or 1 year worth of rent for a nice apartment ”

    “Sigh —there you go Diana weilding a hammer instead of surgical tap . I think it’s OK for a guy to ask . I would not ask my SB since she has 2 roommates and I wouldn’t want to put her in an awkward position . Now if she lived alone that would be a different story and the discussion should ensue re: paying for her own place ,etc . ”

    Yes it’s ok for a guy to ask for unprotected sex too. He asked to push up on her and her roommates for sex? That sounds pretty horrible. Again is she able to pop over to his home? If not I think some common fairness is in order. You wouldn’t want to put her in an awkward positon but this guy apparently doesn’t care which again shows his needs for sex in his 50s outweighs her comfort level. That’s entitlement and greed right there. If she lived alone maybe but her comfort appears to be his least concern. If he’s married then it makes it worse because he could be putting her in danger. She doesn’t live alone so not only would he be putting her in danger but her roommates too. What happens if the wife finds out and starts harassing her at her home? What if her roommates decide to kick her out because of all the DRAMA? Ohh wait isn’t that not supposed to be apart of Sugar? He could end up costing her the roof over her head and with the fact he can barely afford hotels, I think he should be mindful in paying for them.

  59. SarahSB says:

    “What if he had offerred you the the same $1k/day but let you spend it any way you want, would that have made a difference?”

    Actually, I’m not sure that it would have made a difference. During the entire conversation he seemed to be lacking tact and class, and I didn’t find him sexually attractive for that reason. I got that ‘stingy and desperate’ vibe from him and it made me feel gross just talking with him. On the other hand, I would consider him as a business partner because of his shrewd nature. Does this explain why some people say that it is bad form to mix business with pleasure? hmmm

    “How would your neighbors know he’s married in the first place… because he looks “married”?”
    Like I said, I know my neighbors well and they would ask who he is and everything else about him – and I would feel shame and guilt for keeping a secret I am very selective with the kind of energy I bring into my living space. I don’t want to come home to a house that reeks of lies and an affair. BUT…if it’s kept outside the house then I can live in denial, happily oblivious. I myself would be ok with an arrangement with a married man if the wife knew about it and was ok with it.

    “Seems one is never enough because one isn’t doing enough.” – OH…I thought DianaSBinOC was talking about how/why an SD needs more than one woman in his life…because the other one isn’t doing enough. For instance, how he may be married but wants one or multiple SBs in addition to his current wife. What a greedy and entitled husband he is to think he deserves more than one woman! lol

  60. SarahSB says:

    “Salty Johns” ….hahahaha….I’ve never head that before. Funny.

  61. DianaSBinOC says:

    @GTT _Envy-
    “I think every SD likes to believe the arrangement they have with their SB is the only one! The more I read and become friends with these girls the more it seems this simply is just not the case. I can’t say that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside either……lol.

    I guess it all depends on the number ($$$) the SB is trying to hit so to speak. I truly think the SD’s providing 5K+/month in allowance plus perks are very few and far between…..so if that’s the ultimate goal of the SB then multiple may be the only way to go.”

    Exactly my point.

    @VA
    “I sure do ! But I see that a lot of SDs do not care about monogamy, and there are certainly a lot of SBs who multi–er–task .”

    Well you are married so that’s multi-tasking in itself. How to keep the wife from finding out, what lie to tell her before you leave, making sure to shower off any lasting scents. Changing clothing and spraying the right cologne on to cover up anthing lingering. Don’t appear too happy etc.

    Sounds like alot of mult taking right there.

    Ohh and monogamy? You’re married, cheating on your wife and complaining about someone not wanting monogamy?..O. K.

  62. SarahSB says:

    Back to Prince Charming – I read his post again several times and nowhere do I read that he is “being taken advantage of” by his current SB.

    He wrote in his post, “geeks are pretty conditioned to social norms as they’ve been pounded into them since childhood to not even approach attractive women.” I don’t think that telling him that he is being taken advantage of by his current SB (when nowhere in his post does it say that, and please do point that out if I missed something) is going to help him feel more any comfortable.

    Prince Charming didn’t get to his Alpha Geek status by making bad decisions, correct? I think that Prince Charming has enough of a backbone to make decisions that don’t let him get taken advantage of by his SB.

  63. PhoneGuy says:

    I think everyone needs to dial it down a bit. There’s nothing wrong with asking for something reasonable. I think it’s reasonable to ask someone you have been seeing for a year to go to their house. And it’s reasonable for her to respond she wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex (with anyone) at her apartment while her roommate is home. You guys are interjecting drama into a simple question.

    And there’s no need to bash the married people. If you don’t like messing with married people, then dont. No need to mix it up in this decision.

    I love how anytime someone tries to be more efficient with their money they are fake and cheap and not real SDs. I’m not sure most people accumulate wealth wasting it when they don’t have to. Again, don’t interject drama. If a hotel room is important to you, just say so.

    @Diana, fyi, I have never asked any of my neighbors if the people they are bringing over (and possibly having sex with) are married. Maybe it’s just me.

    @SarahSB, I can have a fine meal for $100, a fine hotel for $150. That leaves you with $750 which sounds pretty good. Just sayin. :-)

    @Renee, I don’t think we can all agree on what a good SD is, much less how to find him. ;-)

  64. DianaSBinOC says:

    @PhoneGuy~ No one is bashing married men. What I said was the truth. If people are able to be honest with themselves, what I said wouldn’t bother them so much. If you are married you do have to lie , you do have to sneak around, you will have to make sure you don’t stroll in with lipstick on your collar, You will need to change clothing. This is a fact and I’m pretty sure some have come up with some unique strategies in not getting caught. You will need to take precautions. So the safety of the woman who is cheating with you should be at the top of the list. Or is she supposed to get the brunt of the attack? Is a sugar baby just going to stroll over to his job when they are having “family day” just to say hi? Discretion is important isn’t it? The less cookie crumbs that lead to her door step, the less she’s in danger. What’s a few hundred when her safety is on the line?

  65. SD Guru says:

    @DianaSBinOC & Va Gent

    May I suggest the two of you get a room and settle your differences in private. I’m sure flyr can help you get a nice five star hotel room on priceline, and we can have live streaming of the action on pay per view… :mrgreen:

    @SarahSB
    “I read his post again several times and nowhere do I read that he is “being taken advantage of” by his current SB.”

    Perhaps you were late to the party and missed his previous posts about past sugar relationships. You can see some examples here, and here. Again, we shouldn’t assume wealthy men can automatically make smart decisions when it comes to women. Maybe he’ll come to the blog and speak for himself.

  66. GTT_Envy says:

    ^^^^^^^^^^
    Pay per View that would be awesome!!! Good one :)

  67. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ SDGu- I do get turned on by some back and 4…th play.:) Ha! Sitting on grand daddy’s lap will take on a whole new meaning. He can bring the milk and I’ll bring the cookie.LOL

    Pay per View would probably provide the 97 % of my allowance request. VA can provide the remaining 3% Sweet! lol

    We actually agreed on a truce, but I think he loves to PLAY with me. No 4 PAY required. :)

  68. Va Gentleman says:

    @ Diana

    ” I think he loves to PLAY with me ”

    Now you’re getting it Puddin ! Show me your profile and maybe I’ll show you mine . ( sorry , no genital pics please – I know you are tempted ) You might find out what you’re missing heh ! heh ! Before you know it we might be trading emails and we can spar on into the evening .

  69. AnnaMW says:

    @ VA –

    “If you are ashamed of your relationship with this older man maybe you shouldn’t be doing it at all ?”

    I think that if a married SD is reluctant to parade around town with an SB young enough to be his granddaughter that the SB should have an equal right to privacy. If you won’t introduce your SB to friends and neighbors, she shouldn’t be expected to either.

    Potential harm has nothing to do with it. It’s a matter of respect and reciprocity, coupled with the fact that while she may have no ethical qualm, society has many and she may not want to open herself up to that sort of scrutiny.

    Most blog SDs would probably conclude that your SB has exceptionally low expectations (no condoms, monogamy, p4p, 40+ age gap). You’ve hit the jackpot in that you’ve found a girl who considers your allowance/terms/company you provide life changing enough to remain involved. I find myself wondering if she’s truly destitute, a sufferer of low self esteem, or a chick with a daddy issue and genuine fetish for guys your age. I’m glad you’re in a happy arrangement, but im pretty sure your girl is an enigma to all of us.

  70. Va Gentleman says:

    @AnnaMW

    ” I find myself wondering if she’s truly destitute, a sufferer of low self esteem, or a chick with a daddy issue and genuine fetish for guys your age. ”

    Sounds like a perfect candidate for sugar dating when you describe it that way . I hope she has a fetish for me anyway. As for the other items you brought up I would argue that for any girl to engage in this sugar world she might have had issues with men in her past . Fortunately my girl is beautiful , smart ,confident, has a good job , tons of friends ,an active social life ,a loving middle class family , and exceptionally good taste in men -at least the last year lol .

    ” Most blog SDs would probably conclude that your SB has exceptionally low expectations (no condoms, monogamy, p4p, 40+ age gap) ” I doubt it –ask them I think they might wonder how I got so lucky and how they might find a sweet loving non entitled,spoiled,conceited SB of their own .

    ” if a married SD is reluctant to parade around town with an SB young enough to be his granddaughter that the SB should have an equal right to privacy ”

    Anna ,sounds like you have issues with older men . I am very proud of my SB and take her everywhere in public. Most men smile knowingly when I kiss her on the lips (oops , I guess she’s not his granddaughter ) and most women are neutral although one matriarch puckered her lips up and tossed her nose waaay up in the air . It was priceless lol. Her husband was drooling poor guy . I wonder if he’s on SA ?

    ” You’ve hit the jackpot ” AMEN sister

    ” ’m glad you’re in a happy arrangement ” Thank you

    ” im pretty sure your girl is an enigma to all of us. ” Yes , perhaps try what she is doing if you have had a hard time finding a longterm SD who will love you to pieces .

  71. VanillaSugar says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    “This guy is more of a coupon clipper and apparently not a good one at that.”

    LOL! I LOVE reading your posts! Always speaking the truth!

  72. PhoneGuy says:

    @Diana,
    Being married has nothing to do with the question. Whether the SD is married has nothing to do with whether to let him in her apartment. And the SB is in no more danger. If he were married the wife could stalk them to the hotel the same way. The SB is in the same danger there. And if the wife followed them to a hotel and wants to she can easily follow the SB home. Bringing up marriage is ridiculous. And rubbing the married people’s noses in their deception is rude and serves no purpose. Whether or not you believe they should have come to terms with their lies and be ok with being confronted about them.

  73. AnnaMW says:

    @ Guru & Sarah – I’m pretty sure that all of us have made mistakes in our sugar lives which doesn’t necessarily reflect who we are now or will be in the future. Peoples arrangement styles change and we are all prone to occasional lapses in judgement or heightened willingness to take risks/make investments in people.

    Hell, the SD I trusted more than any other i’ve ever met try to stiff me our last month together…. We had a long friendship/courtship prior to becoming involved (months of daily communication). He was the last person I would have ever expected to do such a thing since we’d had so many deep conversations about friendship and ethics. I eventually collected, and surprisingly, I forgave him! We are friends, but I would never become involved with him again. I learned an important lesson…

    @ All –

    I always feel a need to chime in when comments are made about 5k+ SDs either not existing or being total deviants looking for live in slaves… I’m bored to death with the topic, so all I will say is that YES, they are real and abundant. Many of them are also single. A lot of guys are also happy to increase their limit if a girl is a lot more appealing than her competition. If a guy is interested in keeping a girl around, he makes an effort to show it. If he he sees her as interchangeable or can’t afford do more, he doesn’t.

  74. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Phone Guy – The guy that hates talking on the phone. Look danger is danger and that’s the point. If the man is looking to spice up his life by taking risks , he has to understand the risks he is putting on another’s shoulders. Remember there is an age gap and one would think a older man that has life experience would understand how easily life can slip through one’s fingers. Where do you think midlife crisis came from? His fear that death is just around the corner. Now for these women life has just begun and they don’t need it to be torn away because someone wants to take chances with their own life! Remember this is to enhance someone’s life not shorten it .

    Also these are grown men that have probably been alive thrice my own. They made their bed now they are enjoying it fully. They are fully aware of the risks involved in their pursuit of happiness. So yes it matters. This is NSA and leaving a private place for a person to call their own is not asking for much. Give the same respect that you would want to have because I’m pretty sure the SB seeing a married SD would not be stopping by for tea. So yes being married has everything to do with the question. A wife can follow an SB home from the hotel true, but if there’s no hotel she’s right there at her home waiting….. Now what if she lived with her parents? You think they’re going to be ok with seeing some guy in his 60s stop by? Right I forget men only seemed to get threatened if there is another man in the picture ( real daddy). See how that goes over with dear old dad. That guy would drop her off 10 blocks away and tell her to walk the rest if she lived at home. Not everyone has Courtney Stoddard’s father.

  75. DianaSBinOC says:

    VA-”As for the other items you brought up I would argue that for any girl to engage in this sugar world she might have had issues with men in her past.”

    Yup totally just a mess here. After reading about a married man having unprotected sex with someone that was probably a zygote when his own child headed off to college, sure that did it! I feel so abused. Awww Gran Daddy help me, I’m so alone and desperate to be touched.

    Now where do I sign up for my $14 an hour allowance with birth control, STD scares, wife hunting me down and someone’s grey hairs down there? Are there cool lolli’s included?

    Aww no “Poppy-cock” photos I was so looking forward to those sweet tender “little” morsels. Ohh well a sugarbaby can always dream, a sugar-scort has better luck than me:) lol

    Show us the way old wise and P4P king. We shall bow before you! lol

    @Vanilla Sugar ! Thank you next they’ll be demanding naked photos in profile pics and if you don’t have them you’re entitled. The bar keeps getting raised but the allowances aren’t. I think there is a way to be fair on both sides but just running through with the “it’s all about what I want because I’m paying” does make it sound like it’s a new age of slavery. She’s a person that has her own desires and wishes? It’s like some how her wants are all secondary after the fact thoughts.

    As much as these fun filled discussion of truth . I dying to get through with this semester’s courses so I can soak up some rays by the pool.

    I do enjoy teasing you VA:) You are the one that’s so much fun;) I may skip out on the sugar search to regular date. Stop in here Va so you can light my fire and have someone else put it out for me:) Hmm decisions , decisions:)

  76. DianaSBinOC says:

    BTW shouldn’t we be talking about the LA Sugar Party?!!?? This is going to be the best yet! I think I’ll fly in one of my friends from NY to join in the sugary fun…

  77. SarahSB says:

    Hey Guru – Thanks for posting the links to the old blog posts made by Prince Charming. It sounds like he was “taken advantage of” by his prior SB (but not the current SB as I thought) due to the fact that she had lied to him. That’s not cool at all.

    Yes, if someone is lying to you then they are taking advantage.

    AnnaMW -

  78. Vahn2g4 says:

    I think the LA Sugar Party is going to be a wonderful event, but as a SB male I have found very few opportunities to meet and Sugar Mommies or Daddies. The LA event is perfect for me as I am moving from the East Coast to the West in July, but I don’t want to attend a party and be eerily passed by as there is no one for my demographic. Will you consider throwing something out there for us even if it is a smaller population, we’re all here for oppertunity, right?

  79. PhoneGuy says:

    @Diana,
    You are such an exaggerator. No one is risking their lives or taking chances and any other such nonsense. A dude who is spending a lot of money is looking to either save a buck or add intimacy by going to his longtime SBs house. She can either accept or reject. No one is being stalked by a Russian assassin

    Why are you exaggerating everything…the SD age…marital status…number of ways the SD’s hypothetical wife knows how to kill a person…implying the idea that the SD is so close to death that we doesn’t care what risks he takes. Your whole argument is a ridiculous, exaggerated straw man scenario that no one has proposed but you.

  80. SarahSB says:

    Guru – No we shouldn’t assume that wealthy men make good decisions with women. I like to think that they can make good decisions with women. And I believe that they are able to do so.

    AnnaMW – Yes, I agree, the $5k and above $5k SD’s do exist. And yes, of course I have made mistakes in sugar dating – such as trusting a liar more than once.

    I’m curious, AnnaMW, what lesson did you learn about an SD trying to stiff you your last month together? Something other than to get your allowance at the beginning of the month? I like lessons so please tell me.

    Phone Guy -

  81. DianaSBinOC says:

    PhoneGuy~ Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one:)

  82. PhoneGuy says:

    @Diana,
    If you really want to avoid any and all danger you should delete your account and not contact any strange men, married or otherwise.

  83. PhoneGuy says:

    Yes, but mine are logical and based on reality, not the wild conjecture of my worst fears.

  84. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Vahn2g4
    “I think the LA Sugar Party is going to be a wonderful event, but as a SB male I have found very few opportunities to meet and Sugar Mommies or Daddies. The LA event is perfect for me as I am moving from the East Coast to the West in July, but I don’t want to attend a party and be eerily passed by as there is no one for my demographic. Will you consider throwing something out there for us even if it is a smaller population, we’re all here for oppertunity, right?”

    This actually is a great idea. A mixture of Mommies and Daddies would be fun.

  85. DianaSBinOC says:

    PhoneGuy- right because we all think of Russians as assassins? Talk abouut rude and ridiculous generalizations. Seriously bring things to this time period why don’t you.

  86. AnnaMW says:

    @ VA –

    “I would argue that for any girl to engage in this sugar world she might have had issues with men in her past”

    First of all, what person, male or female, has not had an issue with relationships in the past? :-)

    I think that everyone would agree that you are lucky and that your situation is unusual. If everything you say is true, her expectations are pretty low given the value she adds to your life. If she has a good job and isn’t a crackwhore, perhaps she really is in love with you which I imagine could result in your leaving your wife to be with her full time…. This is a little confusing to me since you proclaimed yourself to be a “john” and admit that she has sex with you for money…..

    I really am glad that you are in such a happy arrangement. I was just legitimately curious as to how your arrangement functioned. Glad you shared.

    Regarding older guys – Heres the deal… I am an example of someone who genuinely likes older guys (up to 45), but It’s hard to fathom a beautiful girl my age being attracted to a man older than my parents since I have never been. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen or couldn’t happen for me. I really didn’t mean to be brash.

    At the end your post referenced MY arrangements…. All but the exception of one have been long term, most have been semi-exclusive and I am friends with my former SDs. I think you may have a misconception of my rank on the pain-in-the-ass scale and confusing me with Diana :p … My allowance is high and safe sex is a logical given, but most other things are open for discussion. A high allowance doesn’t make me spoiled or entitled, I just need an SD who makes more money than me so that the purpose isn’t completely defeated.

  87. NYG says:

    OMG.
    and I was “the bad guy”?

  88. SarahSB says:

    ….argh all my comments are getting cut off…

    Phone Guy – “I can have a fine meal for $100, a fine hotel for $150. That leaves you with $750 which sounds pretty good. Just sayin.” – Ya, It sounds good if I like your personality and you don’t make me cringe like the other guy.

    Also, Phone Guy, I have to be honest about the “married guys coming over my house” idea . . . sure, it’s ok if I can come over to his house, too. He would have to have a pretty open minded wife to allow such a thing. I personally just wouldn’t want my house to reek of lies and an affair.

    I do think that meeting in a hotel as opposed to personal residence provides a safer option for a woman who is seeing a married SD. Hotels have security, and it IS possible to get home without someone following you if you follow good op sec.

    And with a married SD as opposed to a single SD – there are now two parties who can potentially stalk you (the SD, and the SD’s wife/gf), as opposed to a single SD where there is only one party who can potentially stalk you.

    I think you guys underestimate how bat sh!t crazy a wife may become if she discovers you are having an affair. It’s an ugly truth that we must accept.

  89. AnnaMW says:

    @ Diana & Phoneguy –

    You two are in rare form today. I love it!

    @Diana – I respect you, find you hilarious and the judgmental side of me often agrees with you… What I fail to understand is why you are on SeekingArrangement. If you haven’t had a date in over a year and no one meets your standards, why not try regular dating? I’m sure you’d have no problem meeting guys in real time…. You are obviously bright and presumably attractive but seem to have a lot of contempt for this process.

  90. SarahSB says:

    I would try regular dating with an allowance. Thats a great idea!

  91. Saint Bart says:

    I vote for Miami after LA.

  92. PhoneGuy says:

    >right because we all think of Russians as assassins? Talk abouut rude and ridiculous
    >generalizations. Seriously bring things to this time period why don’t you.

    Please take your medication and try not to get too distracted by the unimportant, made up details in my posts.

  93. DianaSBinOC says:

    AnnaMW ~
    Contempt? Less see.
    Sure for someone pushing unprotected sex with no STD testing. Yes
    For someone pushing boundaries? yes
    Treating their sb as some type of sub human sex toy, yes .

    So I have contempt for all those things. This is supposed to be an agreement between two people not only just one person. There will be someone that will meet my standards and I havent been here actively for over a year. I barely just opened my profile up a few months back. As with all attractive women they can easily find people to date as I said I found my two SD outside the bowl in regular dating.

    I already posted I may regular date for the summer a few posts back as well but I will not miss out on this Sugary party. Still I’ll keep my profile open because you just never know. Looking at old posts many sugar babies have been waiting for the true SD’s for years. Some have even closed their accounts because they got tired of the escortish offers. So this is nothing new. I give it a few months, hide my account and do other things. Again I don’t rely on sugar so I have a take it or leave it attitude.

    Again your allowance requests are far from the reach of most, I don’t hear you logging off because of it.

    @SarahSB- I agree, that’s why I kinda like What’syourprice. It’s a date that you’re paid for and you get to have fun with a new cool guy. Some of the offers I’ve received are what some are paying here to get sex. Now it may not be on going but I think it’s fun to have a paid date that only equals dinner and great conversation than someone asking you to “assume the position”. Now of course there are some strange ones that contact you but , if they are too weird then you pass on the date. Simple:)

  94. PhoneGuy says:

    >but seem to have a lot of contempt for this process.

    She seems to have contempt for a lot of things. :-D

  95. DianaSBinOC says:

    PhoneGuy~ >right because we all think of Russians as assassins? Talk abouut rude and ridiculous
    >generalizations. Seriously bring things to this time period why don’t you.

    Please take your medication and try not to get too distracted by the unimportant, made up details in my posts.

    Actually I rarely look at your posts, but for some reason you keep talking to me.

    How about you do your viagra and I do extasy and then we can turn it into the new sextacy! lol . I actually got that question right on my final! Who knew I would find a good use for it! Ahh so $750 was your monthly allowance. Now I see why you’re so mad. Remember one persons bumb is another person’s zillionaire. Or wait was it another person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Sounds the same to me, carry on my good man.

  96. DianaSBinOC says:

    If I recall my post was a direct response to one SB. Funny how things turned around yet again.

  97. DianaSBinOC says:

    ….argh all my comments are getting cut off…

    Phone Guy – “I can have a fine meal for $100, a fine hotel for $150. That leaves you with $750 which sounds pretty good. Just sayin.” – Ya, It sounds good if I like your personality and you don’t make me cringe like the other guy.

    Also, Phone Guy, I have to be honest about the “married guys coming over my house” idea . . . sure, it’s ok if I can come over to his house, too. He would have to have a pretty open minded wife to allow such a thing. I personally just wouldn’t want my house to reek of lies and an affair.

    I do think that meeting in a hotel as opposed to personal residence provides a safer option for a woman who is seeing a married SD. Hotels have security, and it IS possible to get home without someone following you if you follow good op sec.

    And with a married SD as opposed to a single SD – there are now two parties who can potentially stalk you (the SD, and the SD’s wife/gf), as opposed to a single SD where there is only one party who can potentially stalk you.

    I think you guys underestimate how bat sh!t crazy a wife may become if she discovers you are having an affair. It’s an ugly truth that we must accept.

    Thank you! This is my point! We are in reality here, things can get ugly and the “other” woman is always to blame.

  98. jenn says:

    Thanks all for the advice.
    I think the main thing that was bugging me was that I’ve never been to his house so it isn’t really fair for him to ask to see where I live (like DianaSBinOC said).

    Also @ VA I am not “ashamed” of my relationship with an older man, I just don’t want to be judged poorly by my roommate/others I am close with. I have no problem holding his hand walking down the street in a place where I will never see the passerby’s again but having someone close to me find out about him is different and I care about being judged unfairly.

    ” I find myself wondering if she’s truly destitute, a sufferer of low self esteem, or a chick with a daddy issue and genuine fetish for guys your age. ”

    Sounds like a perfect candidate for sugar dating when you describe it that way.

    This is beyond insulting to all sugars and I really hope that was one of your failed attempts at being ‘funny’..
    I am starting to see why people on here aren’t huge fans of yours.

  99. DianaSBinOC says:

    jenn- i didn’t write that comment at all. That was AnnaMW

  100. jenn says:

    Actually you said,
    “It’s not like I can just pop over and wave to the wife asking if he’s ready for our date. I expect the same respect”
    Which is what I was referring to.

  101. DianaSBinOC says:

    jenn-I never question why an SB is in the sugar bowl we all have our reasons or desires.

    “I think the main thing that was bugging me was that I’ve never been to his house so it isn’t really fair for him to ask to see where I live (like DianaSBinOC said). ”

    There’s a chance that he’s married and really he should have told you this if it’s been a year. Since you’ve known him so long, you may suggest his place instead. Just see what he has to say and you’ll know why that’s not an option.

  102. DianaSBinOC says:

    You’re right that was me!

    I was talking about that last comment saying the low self esteem bit. That part wasn’t me.

  103. jenn says:

    @Diana: OH! I know that part wasn’t you haha, I said @VA a few lines before and I was addressing him- commenting on his rude response to AnnaMW’s statement.

  104. SarahSB says:

    I kinda feel sorry for a guy when he says he attracts destitute women with low self esteem and daddy issues and poor relationship experiences. That sounds awful.

  105. SarahSB says:

    Oh, and Phone Guy said $750 for dinner, not for a month. His budget breakdown was more appealing to me than the $250 one from “salty john. Namely because he was “salty” and a “john.”

    Diana, every time I see “salt” I think of the term “salty john.” … muahahahah I can’t even explain to the people around me why I am chuckling – the shame and guilt associated with the stigma of sugar dating keeps me silent. sigh

  106. DianaSBinOC says:

    @ jenn:) Thanks yes Va loves to get the ladies stirring here. lol:)

  107. PhoneGuy says:

    @jenn,
    >I just don’t want to be judged poorly by my roommate/others I am close with.
    Well there you have your answer. If your roommate doesn’t know you have an SD and it would embarrass you then that’s all you have to say. It doesn’t matter if he is married or if you have been to his house. You have found the crux of the matter for you.

    @Diana,
    >If I recall my post was a direct response to one SB. Funny how things turned around yet again.
    Yes, but you always express your opinion like it is fact and I don’t want the other SBs who are looking for advice to not realize that that is just one person’s opinion.

    And how about I take the X and you take the V. ;-)

    >Also, Phone Guy, I have to be honest about the “married guys coming over my house” idea
    Remember, you are the only one talking about a married guy coming to your house. That is not part of the parameters that jenn gave us in her scenario.

    >Ahh so $750 was your monthly allowance.
    Uh, no, that was Sarah’s SD suitor’s daily allowance.
    You can find out what my monthly allowance is…but you have to come to my house first. ;-)

  108. AnnaMW says:

    @ Diana – I didn’t realize that you found your previous SDs offline. Thats really interesting. I would have no idea how to approach such a situation.

    At one point I recall you writing that it had been over a year since you met an SD worthy of a date. I knew that like me, you had alternate income and could afford to be picky (which is awesome!). I was under the impression that you’d been actively looking for a very long time but hadn’t met anyone because you were not giving people a chance or chasing them away with demands. I was concerned that you may not find what you’re looking for on SA and it seems like you may agree.

    I truly wasn’t looking when I met my last SD. I had been active on the sight for about a cumulative month of the last year and didn’t need to stay on for very long because I met lovely people right away. I really haven’t had a problem meeting SDs despite being in an undesirable area. I’ve been really lucky and didn’t understand how hard it was for some until I began interacting in the communities.

    I was also astounded by the STD/protection discussion… No one was more vocal than me, so I understand. I also hate hearing stories about women being abused or treated like slaves, and I am also pretty afraid of wives. In addition, I am turned off by really old guys. We have a lot in common, I just think you can be a little extreme and take a moral highground when it comes to deeply personal, highly subjective issues. You’re entitled to your opinion, and as I said, I agree with you more often than not.

    Do you want to connect off blog? I think I want to know you…. If thats agreeable, I would like to ask the blog gods to make it happen.

  109. SarahSB says:

    …I wonder where Phone Guy lives …

  110. Darkwaters says:

    This is quite the fun read. I’ve been on SA for about 6 months now and have a few questions:
    How do you tell your SB it’s over? If you haven’t heard from her in 10 days or vice versa, should you let it ride?
    What’s an appropriate first date gift? I’m doing vickys e-gift cards for a select few right now.
    Should I let an SB move into an expensive apartment that I own as rental if I need ~half the rent money? Or even if its free? How do you handle ‘end of relationship issues’?

    Thanks for your thoughts! SB’s rock, btw.

  111. SD Guru says:

    It’s interesting to see all the contempt for married and older SD’s expressed in the blog over the past several weeks. Keep in mind that according to a recent SA press release, about 40% of SD’s on SA are married, and the average age of SD’s fell from 44 to 39 years old in the past five years.

    Using that data as a starting point, I think the actual number of married SD’s is probably 50% or more since some men are not truthful about their marital status in their profiles. As for the average age of SD’s, I think the actual number is also higher and probably closer to 50 since some men (and women) are known to fudge their age in their profiles, sometimes by a wide margin.

    It seems counter productive to constantly bash married and older SD’s since they probably constitute more than half of the SD population on SA. And in general they’re more likely to be the ones willing and able to provide financial assistance to their SB’s. So, continue to bash away if you must, but I think most SB’s are smart enough to make their own decision about whether married and older SD’s are for them or not.

  112. TexasSB says:

    How do i find other sugar babies in Vegas to network with?

  113. flyr says:

    Wow, whats in the sugar punch bowl today. There’s a week’s worth of comments in 24 hours.

    “like flyr said, it’s easy to find a nice cheap hotel room in within minutes. (that sounds so sleazy after i read it again)”

    What I was trying to say was that in this economy you can treat your SB to a really nice room for a modest cost so economy shouldn’t be an excuse for asking her to bring you into a house that she shares with other under a no men agreement. I think the same goes for a single mother with children at home. .

    It’s not a cheap room, it’s affordable

    Someone mentioned that a hotel allowed the SB to maintain better op security. Ahhh, I think the real answer is better research before the zipper unzips. If you are worried about security you should be out with the girls and finding a new SD. In addition to some of the other books I would suggest the first 100 pages of Facing Violence which emphasizes the need to make smart choices early on. It’s probably in your local library.

    @guru – Although I fall into the category of older SD I think the SB has to find what she’s comfortable with. I think a number of the SB’s who had a relationship in college are more comfortable with someone older if the return to the bowl 10-15 years later.

    .

  114. flyr says:

    I agree that self reported data in this arena needs to be taken with some caution. In addition the data needs to look deeper into segregating the voyeurs from the participants.

  115. AnnaMW says:

    I like getting to know married SDs but haven’t met many I would become involved with. For me, arrangements are designed to avoid interpersonal problems so that I can maximize enjoyment of my free time (much like an SD). I know that I don’t like it because I’ve done it before.

    I’m sure that from a financial standpoint Senior Citizens tend to make the best SDs. They’ve Married ones especially. They have lived longer and are inclined to spend more. I once met a lovely guy whose profile stated 47 when in reality he was close to 60. I wasn’t that upset that he lied and we ended up talking for hours. I genuinely liked him, but knew in a deep way that the physical component would never work… He was just too to old.. We’ve become good friends and try to spend time together when we are both in town. He’s never spent a dime on me either.

    There is so much emphasis placed on the right and wrong way to do things and on what we are “getting” from our partners that it’s sometimes easy to neglect that there are terrific people everywhere, including on SA and that people stand to enhance our lives in ways that have nothing to do with sex or money. Granted, many of us are here for sex and money, but it’s okay of other things come out of it as well.

  116. AnnaMW says:

    To contribute to the apartment debate – I’ve invited SDs to my house… I’ve cooked dinner, watched movies and done normal dating stuff. I’ve really enjoyed having them. I draw the line at spending the night, but thats the case with RL guys as well.

    I really don’t have a problem with it….If I don’t want a guy to know who I am and where I live, I probably wont want him near my body either.

  117. Midwest SB says:

    Goooooooood morning sugars! Put a little extra sweetener in your coffee and have an amazing weekend!

    Renee – Welcome sweets! We’re not ignoring you. Read the links to the right of the blog. They are chock full of good information for newcomers and it’s somewhat condensed for easier reading. Please stick around as there is lots to learn!

    Blackwaters & Saint Bart – Welcome gents! It’s nice to see new faces.
    Saint Bart – aren’t you one of the Diamond SDs? A gathering in Miami would be steamy indeed. I hear there are plenty of SDs in the area.

    Blackwaters – This blog can be very lively! As for your questions…if you haven’t heard from your SB in 10 days and you’ve reached out to her, she may be telling you that she has moved on. There could have been some major emergency, but the chances are slim. In the past, my SD and I have discussed having a sort of “exit clause” as we know life can get in the way of sugar. It’s something to the effect of giving a month’s notice just so that each isn’t surprised. (This doesn’t include splitting for bad behavior.) Also, most SDs recognize it can take longer for a lady to meet a genuine SD than vice versa. If it’s bad behavior, just block and move on…that’s the beauty of Google Voice. If she’s prone to drama, prepare for the storm if she has your real information. Ignoring the bad behavior is the best bet…if you respond just once, she will keep on irritating you. As for gifts, The Vicky’s cards for a first date is very nice. If you know something about her…make it personal. Ideas like a CD of her favorite band, get her Amazon wish list, a first edition of her favorite book, etc. Also, gift cards to a nice spa are welcome!

    Age gaps – When I was 18, I dated a man in his forties. At 45 I was in a long relationship with a man who was 30 when I met him. For me, it’s more about the person. AnnaMW – I love that you recognized a genuine person and opted to remain friends with the older gent. It shows true character. We will all have our preferences…there really isn’t a right or wrong answer. It just isn’t fair to judge….especially here. The sugar bowl (and life) gives us all an opportunity to meet amazing people of varying degrees. You certainly don’t have to sleep with everyone, but what is the harm in a conversation or a cup of coffee? Open your mind a little and you will be rewarded greatly.

    Jenn – It looks like you’ve already received plenty of good advice. Bottom line is that if it makes you uncomfortable, then say no. It’s not unheard of for an SD to have a sugar apartment…it’s often less than hotels for the month and you can have some quiet times together rather than going out all the time. Just watch the slippery slope as it could easily drift into a complacent affair. I personally enjoy staying at a nice hotel, going to the spa and visiting a new city, but that’s always been my kind of SD.

    Generally speaking – There are newbies that come here seeking advice and they get completely overlooked due to the incessant bantering over whether an arrangement meets the appropriate standards in your opinions. Wouldn’t it be better to either a) take it offline or b) talk about the RIGHT ways YOU handle your arrangements or c) let it go? I’m sure the new SBs would find it to be quite valuable without having to filter through the “dead horse” comments. I agree with keeping standards high…I don’t agree with judging an agreement between two consenting adults.

  118. Amanda says:

    I’m new to the sugar site and I’ve been looking for an SD that is understanding to my situation, a single mother to 2 boys both with mental and physical handicaps that require a lot of my time and a lot of my expenses. Being unable to work due to lack of affordable daycare that can handle and work with both my sons particular needs makes finances rough and I’m here to find an SD who will not only be a friend and hopefully someone that I can build a lasting relationship with but who can also give me some financial stability. Any ideas or advice please feel free to comment back or send a message on my page.

  119. Madison says:

    Hey Amanda…

    I wouldn’t mention anything about your children until you get to know your SD well. Guys don’t want any drama.

  120. Viv says:

    YES!!!!! LA!!!! I can’t wait!!!! Im coming…… :)

  121. Amanda says:

    How do I do that and still be honest though? I’m very big on honesty and to meet with a pot SD I would need to find an affordable and very capable baby sitter who would be able to handle my sons with their conditions. And if I couldn’t I would want to be honest with them about the reason as to why I wouldn’t be able to meet them that day. For me honesty is a sign of respect if I can be honest its showing that person some respect. I wouldn’t want to hide the fact that I have kids who have special needs, they are a very huge part of my life and any pot SD I would have would need to understand and accept that.

  122. Viv says:

    [img]viv12[/img]

  123. AnnaMW says:

    @ Midwest – I always find your comments insightful and have a pleasant time reading them. There are amazing people everywhere and lots of places for them to fit and add value. I’ve become RL friends with several people I’ve met on SA and it’s been a great experience.

  124. NicoleNC says:

    To those SBs who have long distance SDs…how long did you chat/email before meeting? Did you chat a lot before meeting?

    I have a pot SD that lives far away…we clicked almost instantly via email.

    Initially his responses to my email were pretty swift. But then there was an abrupt drop. I asked about it…and he explained that due to work he was now swamped…but that he wanted to be clear that he is still interested in seeing me and if he wasn’t he would let me know.

    He said business is crazy for the next two weeks, but said he will fly to see me sometime next month.

    In his profile, he mentioned wanting an SB he could be friends with, BUT at the same time he doesn’t want anyone who is clingy..he needs someone who understands he runs his own large firm and has a job that is quite demanding at time.

    Should I not contact him for the next two weeks to show him I understand his situation? I don’t mind doing that but I just don’t want to him to lose interest or to think that I have.

    He is an experienced SD, whose last two relationships each lasted a couple of years….seems genuine (He gave me his email address (with what appears to be his full real name), photo….and his cell without me asking)

    Im new at that this and just don’t want to screw it up. As I’ve been on 8 dates with 8 pots and well…they have all left something to be desired…I’d hate to mess up something that seems like a strong possibility due to my impatience.

  125. Treasured says:

    @Amanda – I am a mum to two boys, 4 and 2. And I would say that usually, in 99% of cases men, be it IRL or SD don’t mind. I was even told is that it makes me more attractive as a SB, because 1)I will not be looking for a guy to start a family with 2)My life has structure and me, being a mum, makes me more focused.
    What guys DO mind is when the family comes in the way of a relationship. So DO have your childcare sorted.
    When to tell…. It depends on a situation… Usually I tell before meeting up. I do not just shout it out the first thing as in “hey, I am a single mum to two boys”… You have to feel the person. Sometimes it is a man mentioning he has kids, sometimes I just do tell when the moment is right.
    And, it is much better if it comes up sooner or later. And if the guy is not ok with it… Well, he is not the man for you :)

  126. Nessa says:

    I know this has nothing to do with the article but… Im new here and I need a real sugar daddy… Not a fake one but the real deal. Someone help out this new SB ;)

  127. Nessa says:

    @TExasSB, im from Las Vegas and i would love to network with u :)

  128. Brian says:

    I would attend in LA, I live here and it seems like a great way to meet sugar babies, with a lot less back and forth emails. Count me in. I like the Old Hollywood idea someone had also.

  129. Brian says:

    On the issue of hotels, here in LA I get very nice hotel rooms, at great hotels, such as the London, for about $350 a night, and prefer this than going to a sb’s home. I like hotels and it can just be a lot more fun for both of us to have dinner at the hotel and then a room.

  130. Midwest SB says:

    Amanda – I work with moms in your situation and it’s difficult to have a social life of any kind, much less a sugar life. You probably don’t have insurance, so placing them in a full-time day program is cost-prohibitive. There are many SDs who offer to put their SB on their payroll. I don’t normally recommend this, but perhaps in your case it could work. If he’s married, he may be happy with meeting during the day. Do you have help from your family or other families in similar situations? If not, start networking. I know many families that pool resources to help one another out…including giving one another a break for a night out. I would wait until date two when you know you like one another and he’s willing to hear you out. Normally, I don’t bring up kids, but your demands are so high, that he has to know the right expectations and why. There are many “white knights” who would sympathize with your scenario and be willing to help. It won’t be easy, but goodness knows you could use a little sugar.

    NicoleNC – I’ve only had long distance arrangements. Funny thing is that “independence” doesn’t always equal lack of contact. What I would suggest is quick little texts every 3-4 days to let him know you’re thinking of him…maybe a cute pic or some funny memory you may have together. He’ll appreciate the thought and know that you’re still interested. One warning…if you have a pay for play arrangement, he may be stringing you along. In this case, keep contact, but also keep your options open. It’s difficult to say what to do without knowing more about your history with him.

  131. Midwest SB says:

    AnnaMW – :-) I like you!

  132. Saint Bart says:

    @ Midwest SB -

    Good memory!
    My profile is hidden as I’m out of the game and content in my relationships… totally supporting two long term SBs… one local (now 3 years) that can’t travel much, and one out of US that I see for a week or more every month… here or somewhere (now 6 years).

    I do like to check in occasionally to see how things are in the “bowl”. And, if there was a M&G in Miami, I’d come. Actually, with some other SDs that sometimes post here, we had a couple mini M&Gs in Miami at a swanky hotel. But two got married (to their SBs!) and their wings clipped, another lost his job, and with me “taken”, there’s not enough left of the Group to continue.

    I met lots of fun women here. All came to me… I’m not married and I’m where the toys are :-).
    My best advice to the ladies asking … be adventurous and google. If you pot SD isn’t googleable, move on.

  133. AnnaMW says:

    Thanks Midwest! Ditto.

    @ St Bart – I couldn’t agree more with your point about googleability. If an SD didn’t have a visible presence, it would leave me with a lot of concerns.

  134. PhoneGuy says:

    So do you people want him googlable so that he is enough of a big shot to merit…or do you just really want to know what his hobbies are? ;-)

  135. AnnaMW says:

    @PhoneGuy – Hah. I’ve never encountered that situation, but actually wasn’t thinking of it as a wealth screening tool! Absence of a public presence makes screening more difficult and means that fewer people care about what he’s up to (less accountability). :)

  136. DianaSBinOC says:

    @SaintBart~ Great Advice, didn’t connect those two before but glad you brought that up:)

  137. PhoneGuy says:

    >and means that fewer people care about what he’s up to (less accountability).
    Yeah, I hate when I can’t threaten to out someone if they don’t do as I wish. ;-)

  138. DianaSBinOC says:

    @SaintBart-Ha that was cute! ” I’m not married and I’m where the toys are”. It’s also nice to hear some SD’s actually married their sbs. Must have been a dream come true for them both:)

  139. flyr says:

    @ amanda “I work with moms in your situation and it’s difficult to have a social life of any kind, much less a sugar life. You probably don’t have insurance, so placing them in a full-time day program is cost-prohibitive. There are many SDs who offer to put their SB on their payroll. I don’t normally recommend this, but perhaps in your case it could work. If he’s married, he may be happy with meeting during the day. Do you have help from your family or other families in similar situations? If not, start networking. I know many families that pool resources to help one another out…including giving one another a break for a night out. I would wait until date two when you know you like one another and he’s willing to hear you out. Normally, I don’t bring up kids, but your demands are so high, that he has to know the right expectations and why. There are many “white knights” who would sympathize with your scenario and be willing to help. It won’t be easy, but goodness knows you could use a little sugar. ”

    I disagree with the non disclosure early on for a number of reasons including the automatic disqualification of many SD but only after they and you have invested a lot of time. Your’e not available for overnights, trips, last minute events; however, the opposite side of the coin is that you are not expecting these.

    There are a number of men who would love to have a few hours in the afternoon or evening with someone special on a long term basis. Perhaps it’s after the kids are in bed and a sitter can manage or in the afternoon. Instead of an elegant dinner out and an overnight stay it might be a nice but quick stop at a trendy restaurant and a few hours of great sex (which is probably good for both) . It’s someone who is not looking for arm candy (although you probably qualify) to endlessly put on display.

    The key is to put enough into your profile to eliminate those who would not be compatible and titilate those who fall into your target audience into action. It’s not just great sex, intelligence, wide ranging interests and goodness count for a lot.

    As Amanda noted there are a lot of men who like to the White Knights who are more attracted to someone who will use the allowance for good rather than more shoes, a new bimmer etc. A note that you are also looking for someone to meet your physical needs is likely to leave your mail box overflowing.

  140. flyr says:

    There are very few people who are not searchable on google. They should be somewhere, a real name and some understanding of their work and hobbies is likely to lead to some good background information. As noted earlier, I got more than I bargained for on a couple of occasions.

    Some very positive information regarding a pot SB who really downplayed her background but who was a very respected academic

    A phone number that (for reasons that are unfathomable) was also the number she used in her backpage bliss by the hour ad

    Another with a Las Vegas arrest for drugs that I consider as putting someone in a high risk for STD and traveling with low life’s.

    One very positive one came through our discussion of reading preferences. We found that we had both written some book reviews on Amazon. I skimmed a few of her reviews and was captivated by what she read and her reactions.

    I helped a friend muddle through some of this in her search for a SD. One of the concepts we came up with for the last quarter of an initial meet that looked very positive was two questions –

    the first was that she understood the need for privacy in the profiles but since they were contemplating something more he needed to share with her anything in the profile or discussions up to that time which was not true or anything that was important. It was an amnesty window. It was preceded by her friendly note that she operated on the one strike rule. Marital status, occupation and age were the most common confessions.

    the second was the sharing of a business card or enough information to verify who he was including a real world email address. Not the Bill4fun@gmail or some such thing.

  141. Allison says:

    I hope i can make it to the LA party!!!

  142. AnnaMW says:

    @ PhoneGuy – I would never threaten a guy! Even my trusted SD who tried to stiff me. I knew where he lived, where he worked, etc. and I never considered using it against him, even after months of failing to deliver.

    I spend a lot of time considering the far reaching impact of my decisions, who might be hurt as a result of my actions and whether or not I could handle being responsible for disproportionate trouble in someone elses life. Not to mention that I have things to lose as well.

    When I was very young, a superior at work got drunk at a work function and touched me inappropriately and there were witnesses. Not only did I not go to HR but I bargained with them not to as well. While I felt sick and disgusted by his behavior, it wasn’t worth him losing his job, wife and family over a drunken error. I didn’t want that on my conscience…. The thing is that he did it two subsequent times to different people and ended up losing the job, wife and kids, but I’m glad that I wasn’t the catalyst and that I have him a chance. After a years and sincere amends, we became friends again and remain in touch to this day.

    So no, my desire for a visibility isn’t about having the upper hand or being vengeful. The accountability I was referring to was a personal accountability… Awareness of the fact that people care about what he does and watches the way he lives his life. If he has a public persona he will likely care more about what people think of him and be more mindful of treating others properly.

  143. madison says:

    Brian, I’m glad you liked my Old Hollywood theme party idea!! I’m sure other SDs would love to see SBs dressed like movie starts from the 1940′s. Glamorous, happy and chic. :)

    Mr. Wade, please consider the Old Hollywood theme!!!!!!

  144. madison says:

    She is my hero…

    [img]http://photos.weddingbycolor-nocookie.com/p000011005-m56778-p-photo-164101/hair4.jpg[/img]

  145. SarahSB says:

    It’s always interesting to read different perspectives on this blog.

    Does anyone know what “bimmer” is?

  146. SarahSB says:

    … or “a new bimmer”…?

  147. SarahSB says:

    OH…a “bimmer” is a BMW…is someone trying to imply that shoes and/or a BMW are not “good”? I know that every man has his own idea about what he would like to contribute to, but I wouldn’t label something as not being “good.” There are many SD’s who are looking for a SB who takes care of her own living expenses, while he provides for “quality of life” enhancements – not for basic necessities. Something for everyone, I guess :)

    Amanda – I have a couple very close girlfriends with children. They did not tell their potential SD about the kids in the very beginning. Once they knew there was a ‘connection” with the SD and long-term potential they did tell the SD about the kids. With the two in particular that I am thinking of, both of the SDs were very accepting of the fact that they have children, one became quite involved with the childrens’ lives and I think he is a really good role model, the other opened up a very generous college fund for my friends daughter. Each of the SDa were very much willing to help with childcare, as well. From what I have seen with my girlfriends, I think that you could find a SD who would be accepting and supportive of your kits with time – he may not be easy to find, but it is possible.

  148. SarahSB says:

    …please excuse all of my typos!

  149. SarahSB says:

    flyr – Thanks for recommending “Facing Violence.” It was not at the library, but I did find it easily on Amazon.

  150. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Madison- ok ok I’ll vote Old Hollywood theme too. Like a Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby ball? I’m thinking of bringing a change of clothes to go party in LA til morning!

  151. flyr says:

    @Sarah – Would be very interested in your take on the book Faciing Violence.

    It’s really about avoiding having to face violence.

  152. DianaSBinOC says:

    @flyr I know your comment was directed at Sarah but I just looked at the reviews on this book and there all state ” Required reading for everyone” , “vital information”. I really need to buy this book myself.

    @Brian I agree hotels can be so nice and cozy plus it’s a nice escape for both the sugar baby and sugar daddy. $350 a night room sounds perfect. I must admit I adore high thread count sheets:)

  153. Madison says:

    Talking about bimmers… I just got a new car yesterday. Not a BMW but a nice brand new economy car. My SD helped me with the down payment. Having a SD to help out here and there, it sure makes life easier. :):)

  154. Amanda says:

    @everyone Thank you all for advice and opinions. It was good to see a variety but to new it looked like almost every one had a common basis and I plan on utilizing what was said here and see where it takes me. Thank you again and I hope you all have happy arrangements :)

  155. Madison says:

    @DianaSBinOC: Last time I went to LA was in 2010 to see a new SD back then. He sent a stretch limo to pick me up at the airport, took me to an awesome restaurant and we went out to a very cool place which, for the life of me, I can’t remember the name. It was a very hot night club. I would love to go back!!! He was a little peculiar and I chose not to continue, but I had the greatest time and because of him, I got to know Los Angeles. I would love to party all night again!!! The key is to find a SD there to pay for everything because LA is VERY expensive, specially if you wanna get in the hottest places. :):)

  156. littlemissbliss says:

    This is my first comment on the blog, but I have been reading for quite some time. First, I wanted to say that the London party sounded lovely, I would have loved to have been there.

    I’ve been on the SA site off and on, for about a year or so. Unfortunately, my area has surprisingly not had much to offer in either quality or quantity. Not sure if it’s related to Atlanta being so badly hit by the recession or not, I really had thought there were would be more gentlemen from the area on the site. I thought initially I was not getting quality responses due to being an attractive, but over college aged SB, (I’m 40). However, after looking at all the SD profiles in the area, the entire numbers overall are limited. I do think there are probably many SD’s here, but perhaps just not on SA. I’ve had many things going on in my life, (several layoffs in very few years), that have kept me from really honing my focus on finding the right now. I do regret not being open to dating older men when I was in my 20′s, I feel that was a mistake on my part, but what can you do. Hopefully my luck will change. In the meantime, I’m enjoying reading everyone’s experiences, and some of them I can definitely relate to. It was quite an eye opener to initially interact w/some of the men that reached out to me – and perhaps not in a good way, lol

  157. littlemissbliss says:

    [img]http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1122491301095&set=a.1118426559479.19553.1191457375&type=3&theater[/img]

  158. Midwest SB says:

    Hi littlemissbliss! I know of a very successful SB in your area if you would like to see if I can arrange an introduction. Meanwhile, are you able to travel? Since you are in a major hub, you can cast a wider net if you are able to get away for a few days at a time.

  159. flyr says:

    @littlemissbliss

    When searching an area like Atlanta be sure to use a radius search as many might list one of the smaller communities.

    About 40, look at the very positive side of it. Your target audience 45-65 is more likely to be someone who has their act together. If they are married the kids are probably off to college. If they are married being with someone who is nearer their age is not likely to raise eyebrows. They are also more likely to have the financial capacity to help.

    My overall sense is that the times are a lot tougher than the press would have you believe. Over the last 40 days I have been surprised at the number of emails, texts and contacts through SA that I have received from women I have not communicated with for months and from women who are replying to emails that were sent 30-60 days ago.

    I’m happily involved with one special SB so I am not talking with them to know much further than the numbers.

  160. littlemissbliss says:

    Hi guys – thank you for your responses. I’ve tried to keep an open mind about the outlying areas outside the city, but that hasn’t seemed to increase the possibilities. With the numbers of successful men on the site here in the city itself being relatively low, I’m not entirely surprised.

    I have some ability to travel, and I’ve indicated I’m very open to meeting men in certain cities, as I’m considering relocating anyway. After just learning about yet another impending layoff, I’m somewhat fed up with the city in general, so anything is possible.

    I think I have potential to be a wonderful SB. At this point in my life, I’m not looking for a serious committed relationship. I’d be happy with someone who has limited time in their life for dating, but would enjoy spend a weekend or two a month with a charming, educated European woman, who has a life of her own, but would like to be spoiled with a few of the finer things that I’ve not been able to provide for myself, as of yet.

    I would love to be connected with the SB in my area, thank you!

    I’m sure there are plenty of potential SD’s that are probably only going to be met through real life, but I’ve been so distracted w/other issues, I’ve just not been able to give enough attention to really getting out there and finding them.

  161. Madison says:

    @littlemissbliss: “I do regret not being open to dating older men when I was in my 20′s”

    Awww stop it. I am sure you are still good looking and some guys do prefer girls over 30. I just saw one profile today who said he was looking for someone over 35 ( he was 45).

  162. Heather says:

    I will attend the LA party. Let me know and I will sign up.

  163. NicoleNC says:

    @littlemissbliss I agree with flyr. I’ve run across a more than a few who wanted 40 or older. Just cast your net wide geographically. And do a search based on an age range of 45-65 like someone suggested and don’t be afraid to make the initial contact.

    BTW, you wrote: “I’d be happy with someone who has limited time in their life for dating, but would enjoy spend a weekend or two a month with a charming, educated European woman, who has a life of her own, but would like to be spoiled with a few of the finer things that I’ve not been able to provide for myself, as of yet.”

    If you write that in your profile or initial contact you will attract someone….just be patient.

  164. Paradise25 says:

    Hi guys I have a question that has nothing to do with the London or LA party but I need advice from someone.

    I have a SD and we have met 4 times for drinks and discussed what we want from our arrangement and when it came to the allowance we only agreed that he would give me one but not the amount (as I was feeling awkward I killed the subject, so its my fault) , so now I wanna close this chapter and settle an amount but don’t want to sound money hungry or anything like that but I feel kinda awkward talking about money. Can anyone give suggestions on how to approach the matter? Thanks

  165. flyr says:

    @Paradise 25

    I hate to say it but I think the right approach is to put the ball in his court. Let him know that you are interested and that you look forward to his discussing the allowance he proposes, perhaps over a drink somewhere. Arrive being simply irresistible in dress and attitude. Chances are he will arrive with a range in mind. Whispering in his ear is considered unsportsmanlike.

  166. littlemissbliss says:

    Out of all the responses that I received from my profile, on a very few seemed to be real SD’s, (I know that’s not uncommon). Of the handful I met in person, only one seemed like a genuine guy and he was very generous – gifted me unprompted with $400, just for the pleasure of meeting for drinks. He wanted to have an arrangement, but I just didn’t feel any connection and as much as it would have helped to have his financial support at that time, I couldn’t bring myself to be with him strictly for the money. It wasn’t a looks thing, he just didn’t have much in the way of social skills or charm – your typical smart nerdy guy who struggles to connect w/women.

    It’s definitely an art form, finding the right SD/SB arrangement.

  167. Midwest SB says:

    littlemissbliss – Let me see what I can do about arranging an introduction. There’s also a very successful SD who married his SB, but he may know other SDs. Saint Bart probably knows who I’m talking about.

    Paradise 25 – Honestly, I think he should have proposed an offer by now. Flyer is right in that the ball is in his court. Perhaps you can drop the hint of “I think we have some real potential, don’t you?” and gauge his response. I’ve always had an official offer by date two. Since you two have danced around the topic, I wonder if he’s waiting for you to make a move. I’m hoping he isn’t waiting for a test drive. You didn’t mention if you have been intimate. If yes, then he’s dragging it out and may not come through. If no, then go with the hint and see if he follows.

  168. United States SB says:

    @Nessa, what is your email? :)

  169. TexasSB says:

    @Nessa, what is your email?

    sorry wrong username in the post above lol

  170. TexasSB says:

    TexasSB,

    oh and I have a question for the people who plan on attending this party? Wouldn’t you feel awkward about it? Even though I found a great guy, being a sugar baby is really not something I’m proud of and want to show off. And plus, this is a website…so like, it’s a party about a website. Seems real awkward to me.

  171. Jack says:

    Hi Folks,

    I’m a newbie SD just getting my bearings on this site and had a couple of questions for anyone who wants to share their expertise. First, I am wondering if any SB’s and SD’s can offer perspective on the Diamond Club. Has anyone had any experience with it and any opinions about it?

    Second, I am curious to know how SB’s normally find SD’s to whom to write–do they usually browse, or most commonly do a search, and if the latter, what search criteria do you ladies usually use? There may not be a common thread, but I am curious to know.

    Thanks!

  172. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Jack
    Welcome to the sugar bowl! As an SB I have a limited view on the full benefits of the Diamond Club but from what I know it’s supposed to verify the income of the SD. It helps in an SB determining that an SD’s income is real and not made up. There’s also a section on the side under Sugar Daddy Dating tips ” Diamond Club Testimonials” that provides some additional details on experiences of Diamond Club members.

    On the second question you posted: I search by location-”who is near me”, just to see who is local and read profiles on interests etc. I’m not as proactive as others in making first contact so I look but generally don’t approach. Perhaps other SB’s have more information on that part. From what I’ve heard so far, as a Diamond member , you’ll be receiving quite the full inbox.

  173. TexasSB says:

    @Jack,
    I just clicked on “Browse Members” and went to like the 15th page. That’s when I found him lol

  174. PhoneGuy says:

    @Jack,
    From what I hear getting the Diamond Club gets you a bunch of attention. If you want a bunch of potential SBs contacting you, then DC is the way to go. Maybe it gets you a higher response rate from women you attempt to contact also. If you are not having success or are impatient, try it out and let us know what you find.

  175. Jack says:

    Thanks Diana, TexasSB and PhoneGuy, for your thoughts. Actually, I receive an average of 1-3 responses per day (maybe 30-40 in the first 20 days on the site–I’m not sure if that’s a lot a lot or average) but they largely haven’t fit my profile “wish list” (I do realize I am pretty picky!). I really don’t need MORE responses–I just need better fits–and I am wondering if DC will achieve that. To be honest, I actually submitted my DC applic shortly after joining the site and haven’t heard back from SA on t and am wondering whether to stay with the application or withdraw it.

    Perhaps the above explanation makes my question a bit clearer.

    Thanks again, Jack

  176. Madison says:

    @Jack: Here’s my 2 cents:

    The profiles that attract my attention are the ones who are not trying too hard. I’m in my 20′s, thin, pretty, educated, fun and have a career. So, I’m not desperate. I first go by LOOKS, regardless of how much money a guy says he makes…. having said that, the diamond club might not do anything for me, if the dude is OLD. I already have a SD I see every two weeks, but I am always looking to see who else is out there, in case mine decides to stop the arrangement at some point.

    I would never reply back to profiles who contain the following:

    - tired of all the games ( who isn’t tired of games?)
    - must be tanned (come on…)
    - must be able to hold a conversation ( who in the world doesn’t know how??)
    - must be between 18 and 21 (borderline pedo)
    - must be non materialistic (hahahahahahaha….)
    - must be willing to please (controlling types don’t do it for me)

    Irresistible profiles I write back because they are just that, irresistible:

    - Looking for a princess ( I love that)
    - Love champagne ( whohooo)
    - I have a ferrari (I know… I’m bad…)
    - High sex drive (if the guy is handsome)

    soooo…. hope that helps. LOL

  177. flyr says:

    Guys Searching or Waiting For Sugar

    If you are male and you think you can post and sit back and wait for replies , you’re right. HOwever, most of the babes that will be waiting for you when you check mail will be from your neighborhood if that happens to be the Philippines, Estonia and the other Baltic nations, northern Canada and similar. If you wrote a great profile (see Madison above) you may even get some accessible SB traffic.

    The default search prioritizes by last update of the profile, not last signin. You can change this but my sense is that few do. Thus, occasional updates are in order.

    Think about how you list your location if you are in a big city. For example the greater Los Angeles area includes a lot of small cities. Unless the searcher sets a radius the search will only get that city. If you are in Culver City you might be better off putting Los Angeles

    But if you want results you need to be proactive and search for the qualities you are looking for. Unfortunately the search criteria does not include a word search. Use the advanced search.

    My guess is that a personalized reply that acknowledges something that the SB listed as important about her or her SD shows that you have at least read the post. Again Madison has given you the key words she is looking for under the irresistible profile.

    Finally, be true to who you are when you write. Think about what you are looking for.

    ALWAYS write the text portions on your word processor and check for spelling and grammar unless you are looking for a biker chick . In that case it does not matter. Read your profile a day later, especially if you wrote it late at night after a few glasses of wine.

  178. SteamRedSugar (formerly RedMaru) says:

    Sorry forgot my own moniker haven’t been on here in so long
    heh heh

  179. SteamRedSugar (formerly RedMaru) says:

    Moderator’s note: Any comment with an url or email addy is automatically moderated so please refrain from doing so. This is done to reduce spam as I’m sure no one needs to know where to buy viagra or join a weight loss program… :)

    The link provided below has been mentioned several times already in the blog.

    ————–

    Looks like my last post didnt clear so here it is again I came across a blog by a guy(I think) instructing on how to pass as a Fake Sugar Daddy without getting caught. He even gives justification for why he does maintaining that he is a decent guy…how bout that? Interesting
    Just wanted to post it here to alert my sugarfam

    http://fakesugardaddy.blogspot.com/2011/12/how-to-keep-them-from-finding-out-youre.html

    See alot of new people so greetings! :D

  180. SteamRedSugar (formerly RedMaru) says:

    Onto blog topic:
    I’d love to/wish I could attend a Sugar get together in LA however distance prevents it.
    It would be nice if they would have one in my neck of the woods.
    (Sigh)

  181. SD Guru says:

    @flyr
    “One of the concepts we came up with for the last quarter of an initial meet that looked very positive was two questions… the second was the sharing of a business card or enough information to verify who he was including a real world email address.”

    Unless you’re single and own your own business, I’d be very careful about doing what you suggested. I’m sure none of the pot SB’s you’ve met are psychotic or have malicious intentions, nor ever will be. But if a SD values his privacy and discretion then it’s best not to divulge too much personal info, especially in the beginning.

    @Madison
    “Irresistible profiles I write back because they are just that, irresistible:”

    What one person finds irresistible in a profile may send another running for cover, but to each his/her own. For example, the mention of words like “princess” and “spoiled” may rub some the wrong way. The mention of expensive toys may seem ostentatious, while mention of sex could be a big red flag.

    @Heather
    “He was the opposite of how he represented himself and I think my radar was scrambled because of the Mommy button pushing he did on the phone and email for 2 weeks.”

    I’m sorry to hear about your experience. It appears that you let your guard down despite the red flags you saw. You should learn to trust your gut instinct and don’t put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of. I’d suggest that you report your experience to the site via the “contact us” link at the bottom of the home page.

    @Paradise25
    “I have a SD and we have met 4 times for drinks and discussed what we want from our arrangement…”

    If he’s an experienced SD and he’s interested in a sugar relationship with you, then he should have already brought up the arrangement and discussed the specifics. Unlike regular dating, you shouldn’t leave things open ended and see what happens, otherwise the process could drag on without any tangible result like in your case. Take a look at “The 5 Stages of Sugar” to see what it takes to be pronounced SD and SB! :)

  182. Cali Diva says:

    YAY!!!! SOOO happy and excited the next one is in LA. I will definitely be attending. :)))

  183. TexasSB says:

    Ok Sorry I didn’t know about the email giving out thing.

    So is there a way to network with other sugarbabies in your area? I guess you just have to find them by searching for “Similar profiles” and message them? I want to have some buddies :)

  184. Madison says:

    @SDGuru: what I find irresistible such as a handsome guy saying he has a high sex drive, loves to treat his lady like a princess and drives a ferrari.. It’s exactly that , MY opinion. That’s why I said here is MY 2 cents. What other sugars find irresistible I’m sure is very different. Some sugars might be happy with a dude who drives a 1985 honda and that looks like jay leno… LOL

  185. NicoleNC says:

    Anyone have a nice way to tell an SD you’ve met and had several conversations with that you are not interested in proceeding? He has been nice and we have talked 8-10 times on the phone…he even helped me with a project (no money exchange)…but I realize I don’t want to proceed. Is email considered tacky?

  186. TexasSB says:

    just text him

  187. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Madison ~ LOL when you brought up the Honda it made me remember that SwiftJustice episode where that SD took those two SBs to court for damage of his Honda Accord.I think the worse was him complaining about spending $3 extra dollars on food at IHOP and coming here to justify his actions. I have to say I secretly enjoyed the SDs of the blog putting him in his place. Maybe some sugars like a car with different color body parts. —- I still can’t get over reading about that pot.

    Oh and….
    The profiles that attract my attention are the ones who are not trying too hard. I’m in my 20′s, thin, pretty, educated, fun and have a career. So, I’m not desperate. I first go by LOOKS, regardless of how much money a guy says he makes…. having said that, the diamond club might not do anything for me, if the dude is OLD. I already have a SD I see every two weeks, but I am always looking to see who else is out there, in case mine decides to stop the arrangement at some point.

    I would never reply back to profiles who contain the following:

    - tired of all the games ( who isn’t tired of games?)
    – must be tanned (come on…)
    – must be able to hold a conversation ( who in the world doesn’t know how??)
    – must be between 18 and 21 (borderline pedo)
    – must be non materialistic (hahahahahahaha….)
    – must be willing to please (controlling types don’t do it for me)

    Irresistible profiles I write back because they are just that, irresistible:

    - Looking for a princess ( I love that)
    – Love champagne ( whohooo)
    – I have a ferrari (I know… I’m bad…)
    – High sex drive (if the guy is handsome)

    soooo…. hope that helps. LOL

    AGREED!!!!!

  188. DianaSBinOC says:

    @SDGu- “For example, the mention of words like “princess” and “spoiled” may rub some the wrong way”

    Perhaps it bothers some SD’s to see it on a SB’s profile, but if it’s on a SD’s profile then he’s clearly looking to spoil his princess SB. Not every SD is offering the same treatment for his SB and vice versa.

    @Jack – I don’t think you’re being impatient as some have tried to state. There’s is nothing wrong with being picky and widening your net. The site having the feature of actually being able to verify a SD’s income which allows those that either contact or may be contacted by a Diamond Club member to know that he is who he says he is. Just reading some of the blogs you can clearly see how many SB’s have met with some fakes in the bowl claiming riches and wealth that they don’t posses. I will also admit that getting a message from a Diamond Club member puts a wonderful smile on a SB’s face. Well atleast it does mine.:)

  189. PhoneGuy says:

    @Madison,
    OMG, you like hot, horny guys who drive Ferraris?! You are like the 241st person like that I have come across this week. ;-)
    Seriously, that’s what you consider a guy who isn’t trying hard…when he tells you he has a high sex drive and that he owns a Ferrari? I’m not sure how he could try any harder…send you a pic of his penis and his jet? :-D
    Like you said, to each their own. Whatever gets you going is fantastic.

    @Paradise25, totally agree with the others. Either he is inexperienced or bargain hunting. Bring it up, don’t be shy and see which he is. Maybe he’ll step up to the plate.

    @flyr, I’m with guru here. I’m not sending a pot all my info. We can meet, see if we click, establish some trust and learn more about each other together.

  190. chuck says:

    Since I live in LA, all I can say is that this is like the all-you-can-eat bar (pun definitely intended) coming to your table!

  191. SD Guru says:

    @chuck

    Could you elaborate on your one liner please. The more details the better! :P

  192. flyr says:

    @Phone G -”@flyr, I’m with guru here. I’m not sending a pot all my info. We can meet, see if we click, establish some trust and learn more about each other together.”

    I was suggesting the exchange of information when there is a near meeting of the minds in IRL meeting. Before the sound of zippers

    I agree before that it may be premature.

  193. PhoneGuy says:

    >Before the sound of zippers :-D

  194. Paradise25 says:

    @ Flyr, MidwestSB and everyone that commented,

    Thanks for your comments I have a clear idea of what I am going to now, we are meeting tomorrow for lunch and I’ll bring the subject in a subtle but direct way I think 5 dates is more than enough to close the arrangement.

    I have not been intimate with him in any way as we have not sealed the arrangement, but was wondering if in case he wants to be intimate( which I know he wants to) I should wait for him to make the first “sugar payment” or should wait until the end of the month as the payments will be monthly and be intimate with him in the meantime?

    I personally think that I should only be intimate with him when I see the “sugar” as he can take advantage of me and not pay.(I have read about similar stories many times)

    What do you guys think?

  195. Midwest SB says:

    Paradise25 – My motto has always been to sleep with a man because you want to…not in hopes of getting an allowance. Hope lunch goes well!

  196. Paradise25 says:

    Midwest SB

    I believe the same, I only sleep with someone when I really want to, and its not different now but I want to be sure that he will do what he says if you know what I mean. At the end of the day I am looking for a SD to support me and not simply to have fun even if I truly enjoy him/his company.

  197. NC Gent says:

    Paradise25 — I would recommend getting some support prior to being intimate with him. Not necessarily a full month allowance, but he has to show you that he is willing to provide support.

    NicoleNC — I would send him a text or email saying that you have enjoyed getting to know him, but you aren’t feeling enough of a connection to proceed in a sugar relationship. Wish him the best in finding a great match for him. If he is a gentleman, he will take it well. If not, just ignore him.

  198. Madison says:

    @phoneguy: I don’t need this site to find regular cute guys to sleep with my dear. The whole point of this site is to find the one with ferraris… Xoxo

  199. PhoneGuy says:

    @Madison, you should put that in your profile. ;-)

  200. SteamRed Sugar (formerly Red Maru) says:

    Morning sugars I “see” some familiar faces
    Midwest SB Hey mwah I missed ya!
    NC Gent :D *big hugs*

  201. Midwest SB says:

    SteamRed Sugar – HEYYYYYY!!!! How are you? How is the writing?

    Paradise25 – I agree with NC Gent…it would be nice to have him solidify the arrangement first.

    NC Gent ( Y ) !!

  202. NC Gent says:

    Huge hugs SteamRed Sugar — always good to see you!

    Hey Midwest SB — hope you are doing well — life is good here :)

  203. SteamRed Sugar (formerly Red Maru) says:

    Midwest – Busy working at nine to five, still making candles and bath items, promoting my clerical services business, and above all still writing getting ready to e-publish one of my short stories will keep ya updated! Whew

  204. Saint Bart says:

    @Madison
    Too bad I’m taken… mine’s a red 360 Spider :-)

  205. DianaSBinOC says:

    Can people stop bashing handsome sugar daddies that have a high sex drive and also have ferraris . It’s quite offensive. If that’s not you that’s fine . So, continue to bash away if you must, but I think most SB’s are smart enough to make their own decision about whether or not they want to be with a handsome sugar daddy with a high sex drive that drives a ferrari. Thank You and have a great morning. :)

  206. Madison says:

    Thank you my friend, Diana. We all know it must be very hard for other people to understand why in the world a girl needs a handsome guy with a high sex drive with a Ferrari. But I will break it down for ya all…. There’s nothing like having an O looking at a handsome face sitting at a ferrari… Hope that is now clear.
    :)

  207. NC Gent says:

    wow how quickly I am reminded why I stopped posting here… some things never change :(

  208. Midwest SB says:

    Diana & Madison – What do you do after the first 15 mins of the date? :-) Most guys I’ve met with those stats can’t stop looking in the mirror or talking about themselves…yaaaaawwwwwn. Glad I’m not competing for the sexy geeks!

    Steamy – Good for you! Please do let me know. I’m at the same address.

    NC Gent – So glad it’s summer, but have to stop playing in the poison ivy…such a damper. What’s on your concert schedule so far?

  209. Midwest SB says:

    Phoneguy – I noticed my add-on doesn’t work since I updated Firefox. Any suggestions?

  210. Madison says:

    @Midwest SB: The most handsome guys don’t realize they are handsome. They know they are attractive but they are not the “I’m sexy and I know it” types. :):)

    On a side note, saw a profile just now that was irresistible, without the Ferrari but with the extremely handsome 47 year old executive:

    Among other things he says: “I do love adrenalin…we have only one life”.

    HOT HOT HOT

  211. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Midwest- Actually it’s just the opposite for me. It’s the unattractive guys that seem to want to tell me how lucky I am to have responded to their messages. That’s the real yawning experience for me. When they contact me with motel 6 dreams and hourly rates for a day , after I politely turn them down they become fairly abusive. You would think rejection would be normal for them but I guess one more “no” is just something that they can’t have.

    Attractive guys on the other hand, even if we don’t see eye to eye on things they take my disinterest in stride. If you’re attractive and wealthy you can have women if you’re in the bowl or out of it. Those are the guys that interest me because in reality they don’t need to be here , they want to be. Same where I don’t need a sugar daddy , I want one.

    When the attraction is real without the money then the financial part is just an added bonus. It’s fairly normal for a man to treat his girlfriend as well as he possibly can. A sugar baby is really no different it’s just that her expectation of a future would not be in the same equation.

    I agree with Madison , some guys are hot and they are so unaware of it. Even geeky guys don’t always realize their hotness. Some don’t even approach women because they feel some are out of their league but they may not realize that they are just my type.

    Same goes for attractive women which is why some guys are on escort boards talking about the 9 and 10s sugar babies they get to sleep with for cheap. Even they are used to doing more for their escorts that may not even be as attractive. I read some guy labeled his sugar baby “my cute little coupon” because she’s such a savings.

    The site btw is eccieleaks dot com if any of you ladies want to take a look. Go to the bottom of the site and click on “Sugar Daddy Discussion”. I was reading one of the sugar baby blogs and thankfully came across it. The posts seem to stop around 03/2012. I also don’t understand all of those terms. They do some interesting abbreviations so you may have to google what all those terms mean.

    ^Hope this helps other sugar babies that may have encountered these types on the site. To me you can never have too much information while sugar dating.

    Then again many are not the attractive single types with ferarris and are possibly not goggleable so it sounds like St. Bart’s advice is dead on:)

  212. PhoneGuy says:

    @Diana, I don’t think anyone is bashing hot people or high sex drive people or people who own Ferraris. I’m just suggesting that someone who thinks this is important information that he needs to broadcast may be a poser DB. :-P

  213. PhoneGuy says:

    @Midwest. That actually wasn’t my add-on. I believe Dorky made it.

  214. TexasSB says:

    I think Madison was just giving a good EXAMPLE of what she likes. Don’t take it too far. She is right. I can find a cute guy to sleep with anyday…….

  215. Jack says:

    Thanks to Madison (some priceless comments there! I like you!), Diana and Flyr for your thoughts. Let me share a few musings of my own.

    First, Madison and Diana, speaking for myself, I would not bash Madison for her comments re Ferrari/high sex drive, but I must say I AM surprised. I would have thought that either bragging about one’s high-dollar car or bragging about one’s sex drive (and by implication, one’s sexual abilities) would have been a major turnoff to most SB’s, but the two of you have made it clear that I’m wrong in this perception. Any other SB’s want to weigh in on this issue?

    Second, to Madison, this post by you was priceless and made me almost roll on the floor:

    “But I will break it down for ya all…. There’s nothing like having an O looking at a handsome face sitting at a ferrari… Hope that is now clear.”

    It is clear, thank you very much, but it is my understanding that guys who drive 1987 Porsche 930′s (of which there are only about 50 in the world) are much hotter in the sack than the mere Ferrari drivers (unless the latter are driving a Testa or an F40). Just giving you some info to consider when searching for additional “O” locations. (Major LOL here, OK?)

    Also, to Madison, I found your list of DO’s and DONT’s quite instructive. Fortunately, the good news is that my profile contains none of the DONT’s. The bad news is that it contains none of the DO’s either. That can and shall be fixed forthwith.

    To Paradise25 (nice handle, by the way!), I am surprised you’ve had 5 dates and no money has changed hands. I don’t know if this is atypical (and I would like people’s response on this), but I always give some money on the first date–usually $100-200. To be genteel about it, I usually slip the bills inside a book I wrote on nutrition that I usually give to the SB’s (whom I invite to Google me so they can be more comfortable when meeting me) or I include it with the roses I sometimes bring to a first date. I realize the amount of money is trivial but I just think it shows a bit of class.

    So I am surprised that after 5 dates, no money has changed hands.

    The one exception was a recent case where I wrote to a pot SB whose requirements were in the $10,000+/month range. That was fine with me, so I wrote her a quick note. In her very prompt response, she complimented me on a couple of things and then said she would like to meet for dinner, but it would cost me $500 to meet her. I declined because I found this very un-classy. I also think this is majorly false economy on her part because (a) if I liked her, I would have given her money after the dinner anyway, and (b) if I REALLY liked her,and wanted to enter an arrangement with her, I would have had no problem meeting her monthly requirments.

    Finally, to Paradise25, about sleeping with your guy, let me give you my perspective on the topic–and I would love to know if other guys feel this way, as well as what the SB’s think about this. Here is my perspective–and again, I highlight the fact that this is MY perspective which very well MAY NOT APPLY to your guy. After all these disclaimers, here goes:

    To begin with, if I am going to meet a lady (whether a traditional date or one through SA), I have spoken with her enough (and seen enough pictures) to know that it will be a nice time. Perhaps not an awesome time, and perhaps not a date ending in the sack, but a nice time nevertheless. That has been the case so far on the 4 first dates I have had through SA.

    Second, I usually know enough about their looks to know that if the occasion arises on that date (in more ways than one!), I will be interested in sleeping with them. Although I have a Porsche (not a Ferrari), I do have a high sex drive (child of the 60′s and 70′s, what can I say?) and in general (there are exceptions), if I ask a woman out, I like her mind and her looks enough to want to sleep with her.

    Third–and this is the part that may be relevant to Paradise25′s question–if a woman sleeps with me, it neither automatically increases nor decreases the likelihood that I will continue a relationship with her. This has always been the case in my traditional relationships and will be the case with any SB relationships I might have. If anything, it might enhance future potential because if the sex part of our relationship is awesome, that makes it more likely I will want to have a relationship with her. Of course, if she is not so good in bed (and unfortunately, there are a fair number that aren’t, for various reasons), then this can backfire. But wouldn’t it be better to know that now rather than later?

    Having said the above, if you believe that you would feel used if you slept with your pot SD and then the arrangement didn’t materialize, then you should definitely get enough money up front so that if the arrangment didn’t materialize, you would feel adequately compensated (I know that sounds crass, but isn’t it true?). Urging him to flash the cash will also help you determine if he’s “real,” although I think after 5 dates, you should have some idea about that already.

    Sorry for the longwinded post, but I would love to hear what you folks think!

    Jack

  216. Midwest SB says:

    Jack – Thanks for your insight. Although it would be nice to think that you don’t have to equate sleeping with a guy to starting an arrangement, there are now enough fake SDs who make a sport of how many SBs they can sleep with sans allowance. Therefore, it is in our best interests to make sure a man is a genuine SD and to stick to the mantra of only sleeping with a man because you want to. Of course, all SDs believe a woman sleeps with him because she wants to, so I also understand the SDs desire to ensure she is genuinely interested in him and not his wallet. It’s the vicious cycle.

    I also appreciate your thoughts on the required gift to meet. I’m sure many have lost great opportunities using this as a screening tool. If there were less fakes, perhaps we wouldn’t have to resort to drastic screening measures. Of course, you probably have more success than most with the cash gift and the Porsche. :-)

  217. cvdv says:

    Brandon your Local to Las Vegas When are you going to host a party in your own zipcode? … There are plenty of Venues to create the right setting for a Sugar Rush.

  218. SD Guru says:

    “I can find a cute guy to sleep with anyday…”

    I’m sure that’s the case for you young attractive ladies. Just like a hot guy with Ferrari can find a cute girl to sleep with any day… sugar not required.

    Speaking of Eccieleaks and its predecessor sites, as well as the previous mention of Utopia Guide… it takes someone who is well versed in the escort world to track all that down.

  219. DianaSBinOC says:

    @PhoneGuy- That could be the case if he’s has $10,000-$20,000 allowance offered, no pictures and the most basic membership, then yes I would think he was a poser. Now have a Diamond Membership , same offerings and have current pictures up and then a SB would think you could easily live up to what your profile states.

    As with all things, some may abuse the benefits of the Diamond status.I recall Brandon kicking a member off the site after so many complaints. It was clear the member was wealthy but he didn’t want to part with the financial part of the arrangement. The stories were actually quite horrible , in other words he didn’t take no for an answer.

    @Jack – I’m glad you posted. Great to hear how other sugar daddies go about dating. I don’t feel you were wrong in refusing the $500 offer. If she’s a $10,000-$20,000 sugar baby she was probably just trying to weed out the fakes or time wasters. I have seen some fake SD’s go out of their way to contact these ladies because if they can get her to accept less then it’s just an ego boost for them.

    Ok maybe avoid “high sex drive”. I admit to passing on a few profiles because it screamed “immediate sex when I meet you”. Usually the ones I pass on have that included with maybe another few sentences, so it’s fairly clear that’s their only goal. I recall one member has sex written in 8 different places on his profile with of course “negotiable” as his allowance and no pictures. FAIL! lol

    Profiles that leave a bad taste in my mouth ” If you don’t….. unless it’s obvious. Like “If you don’t have pictures on your profile” makes sense.

    Also in CA we always get the hot car ugly guy syndrome. You see the car , you’re turned on by it’s engine revving up and then the guy gets out and all you dreams get crushed. Also to add guys here rent expensive cars that they can’t afford to purchase. So sure he has a ferrari but only for 24hours. That’s why being attraction is key because once he steps out of the car I have to desire him and him alone.

    I will say I had a thing for Ducati owners for a while. Until I realized one puddle on the road could disfigure me for life. Plus everyone looks hot with a helmet on. lol Same situation, helmet comes off and you are now in a position where you’re talking to someone that you are not attracted to. I learned my lesson:)

  220. DianaSBinOC says:

    SDGur- “I can find a cute guy to sleep with anyday…”

    “I’m sure that’s the case for you young attractive ladies. Just like a hot guy with Ferrari can find a cute girl to sleep with any day… sugar not required.”

    That’s correct! That’s why those are a better match for me. I want to be wanted not needed and I desire the same. For any attractive male or female their options are limitless so it’s nice when the two come together.

    “Speaking of Eccieleaks and its predecessor sites, as well as the previous mention of Utopia Guide… it takes someone who is well versed in the escort world to track all that down.”

    So you’re saying the sugarbaby blog I found this on was an escort? Perhaps , but if there are Johns here it makes sense that their are escorts here too. All of this info was found on sugar baby blog reporting fakes. I’ll take whatever information that is out there, I care less about where it comes from but more that it’s the truth. This will help us sugar babies out that don’t have escort tools at our disposal. I know the posers will have issues with us reading this.

  221. Paradise25 says:

    @Jack

    Thanks for your post its good to see a SD perspective on the matter.

    I don’t know but it looks like (and excuse me but its my opinion) that american SD are more gentle or know how to handle this kind of arrangements better than the british ones (I live in London btw)
    My pot SD is a british man and to me it seems like he is taking time to see what’s going to happen(if I am only interested on his money or him) we spoke about diff subjects and he told me some of his past experiences and he is always saying that I am diff from the his ex SB as I am more goal orientated and more easy to talk and so on (his words…) and I like him as person and enjoy his company and the mentor abilities that he has but I can’t keep meeting him for a coffee without knowing where we stand.

    But anyway I ended up calling him today and we spoke about tomorrow’s lunch and I will dffntly address the issue as I am tired of the suspense.

    Now, I saw some posts above saying that he should give me some money before sex (if we really decide to go for it) and I am of the same opinion, but how can I make it clear without sounding bad?

  222. Ballet-Dancer says:

    Sugar Party in LA?!! I’m SO down it’s not even funny. After all ;) why would I miss something in my own back yard?

  223. Midwest SB says:

    Paradise25 – It depends on your rapport with him. If you’ve had candid discussions about other things, then you can start the “What happens next?” conversation. If you have to be more subtle, then be honest (and maybe a little coy)…tell him you enjoy his company, understand that you two met on a sugar site, but are not really sure about the protocol. He can act as your mentor (hopefully he will guide you properly) or he can ask you how you would like things to go. At this point, restate your goals and the challenges in the way of getting there. Then be silent until he speaks. This is crucial. Be silent and let him speak next. Hopefully, he will be receptive. Suggest discussing the details via e-mail to keep the date from seeming like a business transaction. If his offer isn’t what you expected, tell him nicely that it’s nice that he wants to provide a,b,c, but it doesn’t get you to where you’re going. If he sees that you will need to see a different SD or get an additional job that steals time from him, he will either counter or walk away. Be willing to let it go rather than accept what doesn’t work for you. It only builds resentment. Good luck!

  224. SDinLA says:

    @Paradise25 “Now, I saw some posts above saying that he should give me some money before sex (if we really decide to go for it) and I am of the same opinion, but how can I make it clear without sounding bad?”

    Have you seen the movie “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Tomorrow at lunch you should ask this guy, “So, let’s say we get a hotel room to consummate this arrangement, describe in detail what you imagine happening.” Then you need to be like the Chinese Fast Food lady when Ashton Kutcher is ordering at the Drive thru in that movie:

    “Well I’m free this afternoon actually, we could go get a hotel room after lunch!”

    “And then?”

    “Well, if you were uncomfortable checking in together, you could wait in the lobby and I could check in first and then text you the room number.”

    “And then?”

    “Then you could come up and join me, and maybe we could order some wine or champagne from room service.”

    “And then?”

    “Well, we’d chat some more, drink some wine and relax…”

    “And then?”

    “And if you were hungry we could order some food too.”

    “And theeeeen?”

    “Well, I’d probably want to take a shower, and you could too of course.”

    “And theeeeeeeen?”

    “Well then assuming we were both feeling it, we could, you know, maybe start snogging…”

    “And theeeeeeeeeeeen?”

    “Um, then, well, you know… do I really have to say what comes next?”

    “And theeeeeeeeeeeeeen?”

    And just keep going until he gets to the part where he gives you your allowance. And if he somehow leave that out, you can just say “That all sounds absolutely brilliant, but I must have missed the part where you gave me my allowance before we started snogging!”

    You’re welcome. ;-)

    P.S. re: earlier discussion, I live in L.A., I have owned many Ferraris, I am not ugly, and I would NEVER ever in a million years be so gauche as to advertise what I drive in my profile.

    P.P.S. I have an insatiable sex drive

    P.P.P.S. I have no problems with $20,000 allowances, providing a luxury condo, a Mercedes to drive etc. and I just love love love to spoil my princesses.

    P.P.P.P.S. SBs… call me… please?

    ;-) :-P

  225. VanillaSugar says:

    @Jack–”First, Madison and Diana, speaking for myself, I would not bash Madison for her comments re Ferrari/high sex drive, but I must say I AM surprised. I would have thought that either bragging about one’s high-dollar car or bragging about one’s sex drive (and by implication, one’s sexual abilities) would have been a major turnoff to most SB’s, but the two of you have made it clear that I’m wrong in this perception. Any other SB’s want to weigh in on this issue?”

    Different strokes for different folks….Bragging is a HUGE turn off for me, whether it be IRL or the sugar world, not that I’ve been here for long ;}..Why do you feel the need to broadcast what type of car you have, etc? If you want someone who wants you just because of your car, why don’t you go to the nightclub and post up?? Or to a big sporting event where there are sure to be tons and tons of groupies lol! All doesn’t impress me not one bit. Of course I expect you to have money if you’re a Sugardaddy. Tell me something I don’t know. Also, I don’t want to be with anyone who thinks they’re prettier than me! That’s a problem ;)

    @Paradise25-”I have a SD and we have met 4 times for drinks and discussed what we want from our arrangement and when it came to the allowance we only agreed that he would give me one but not the amount (as I was feeling awkward I killed the subject, so its my fault) , so now I wanna close this chapter and settle an amount but don’t want to sound money hungry or anything like that but I feel kinda awkward talking about money. Can anyone give suggestions on how to approach the matter? Thanks”

    4 dates is alot to me for you not to have an exact amount. Talk to him, let him know what your needs are. You don’t sound money hungry, he know what he signed up for….If you don’t trust him, don’t do it.

    @SDinLA—”P.P.S. I have an insatiable sex drive

    P.P.P.S. I have no problems with $20,000 allowances, providing a luxury condo, a Mercedes to drive etc. and I just love love love to spoil my princesses.

    P.P.P.P.S. SBs… call me… please?”

    LMAO! EXACTLY…NEXT! I hate when I run across these types…ugh!

  226. littlemissbliss says:

    I’ve seen on other forums where women insist on a cash payment for a first date, and are very vehement about it. My feeling is that if you screen carefully enough before meeting, there’s no need for this. While I can understand not wanting to waste time with the flakes, fake SD’s, etc, I feel I’m better off just being very selective and only meeting a very few potential SD’s that I have a good gut feeling about, rather than going on many dates, where I wind up feeling resentful that I wasted my time.

    I’ve only had this backfire one me once or twice, and in both of those cases I was ignoring my own gut feeling that the date was going to be a waste of time.

    As far as initiating contact w/potential SD’s – for various reasons I won’t bore everyone with, in general I avoid making first contact. I will say that I know men get deluged with emails on these sites, and I’d rather wait for someone who was interested enough in my profile to contact me first. I will occasionally break my own rule, but in general, there haven’t been enough good profiles in my area in recent times to justify wanting to break it anyway….

  227. VanillaSugar says:

    @littlemissbliss—I agree with you 100%…I had a bad feeling about a pot a cpl months back, and he ended up standing me up. Think he knew I wasn’t going to sleep with him. But I am sooo happy he did though! But this fool had the nerve to text me months later. WTF??? Seriously, it took everything in me to not go off on him lol.

  228. DianaSBinOC says:

    @VanillaSugar – only made first contact a few times in the beginning but to the profiles that said ” not here for sex”. After that I just wait until a message comes in from a pot instead of making first contact. I try my best to find out what they are looking for before meeting. Since I do things more online trying to get them to open up that’s when I find out they are trying to offer me $300 per meet etc. There’s a Diamond member that sends me messages but I have no idea where he’s going with things. They are so random and general that I can’t figure out what he’s after. He’s polite and yes he does brag quite a bit but again it’s like he’s using the messages as a text feature on his phone.

  229. TexasSB says:

    “Also in CA we always get the hot car ugly guy syndrome. You see the car , you’re turned on by it’s engine revving up and then the guy gets out and all you dreams get crushed.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA…so true. Hmmmm….trying to compensate for something? lol

  230. Spassbremse says:

    Why is everyone shitting on “ugly guys” in “hot cars”?
    Do you expect rich guys who aren’t attractive to drive a smart?

    Do you also point and laugh at ugly girls in expensive clothes?

  231. PhoneGuy says:

    You’ll have to forgive the “Heathers” Spassbremse, sometimes they forget they are out in public. ;-)

  232. AnnaMW says:

    Ferraris are ostentatious.. If a guys profile includes car pics, talks about sex drive, and offers a 10-20k allowance, I will automatically assume that he is a d-bag.

    If hes good looking and under 45, I will assume he’s fake. As someone mentioned, these types can get anyone they want, on their terms, without sugar.

    My longest term SD was impossibly wealthy and drove a Hyundai. He also understated his wealth by like, 99% and had a sparse profile with no picture. He did write a substantial message and I quickly realized that this is more typical of how an ultra wealthy guy would portray himself and that I was too focused on details……

    Another used a fake profession in different city and had a two word profile that was also hidden from public search. He shared everything with me by email three and we got along famously.

    Both of these guys had a lot of class and wouldn’t have been caught dead flaunting themselves as a Diamond member.

  233. AnnaMW says:

    To clarify – I don’t assume that all good looking SDs under 45 are fake as most of mine have fit into that category……. I was referring to the Ferrari driving, gods gift to women profile type. If he was 55, I would buy it. At 38, I would think that he was lying or that there was something really wrong.

  234. VanillaSugar says:

    @DianaSBinOC That’s definitely what this loser was after. I like to figure out everything via email also. One of the first questions I ask is “Exactly what are you looking for?” I feel like we’re all adults, we know what the deal is, just be honest. If he can’t give me a straight answer to anything I ask, Bye! I’m not wasting anymore time?! If you’re asking me for a sexy photo–Next! The pics on my profile are all you need to see.

  235. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Spassbreeme- Why is everyone shitting on “ugly guys” in “hot cars”?

    Because it’s funny and they want the attention. No one drives a hot yellow sports car on a road that only allows 25-35mph because it gets good mileage. Seriously they want the attention , the problem is once they get it they see a smile turn into a frown. Those are also the guys that brag the most about who they know, their “connections” etc etc. Guys already know hot cars attract women, they just seem to forget that the car can’t be driven upstairs. lol

    Clothing is a necessity for all humans so if an unattractive person is dressed well it only enhances their looks.The great thing there is that you can at least say “wow you’re dressed well”. See honest compliment! No need to lie to someone’s face. If a guy knows he’s not hot he will take your fake compliment about his sexy body as an insult. Or is that what people look for here?

    I just read a guys profile” I’m fat but I’m rich” See he’s honest and upfront. I respect honesty above all else. If the person is honest with themselves then I find them more attractive.

    “Do you expect rich guys who aren’t attractive to drive a smart?”

    Drive a smart? Is there a model called a smart? I haven’t heard of that before. I’m in the US perhaps that’s a car in Europe? Not sure.

    Do you also point and laugh at ugly girls in expensive clothes?

    I don’t point at anyone, that’s tacky seriously. I don’t talk about how people are dressed either. We are talking about cars here something that isn’t draped over your body. A vehicle that gets you from point A to point B. Now I may love seeing hot cars I just like to see them with a hot guy driving. It’s not a deal breaker for me. It’s just something that I like.

    @TessSB-“Also in CA we always get the hot car ugly guy syndrome. You see the car , you’re turned on by it’s engine revving up and then the guy gets out and all you dreams get crushed.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA…so true. Hmmmm….trying to compensate for something? lol

    Yes, Yes and Yes! It’s the most shocking moment. You are so looking over thinking wow nice car.. and then he turns his face! At that moment you start looking around at all the cars just to pretend that for some reason all the cars on the road are equally interesting. I’ve been out with some girlfriends and we all look, once the guy turns around everyone keeps their eyes forward and freezes. It’s hilarious because you actually stop breathing until the light turns green again.

    @VanillaSugar- “@DianaSBinOC That’s definitely what this loser was after. I like to figure out everything via email also. One of the first questions I ask is “Exactly what are you looking for?” I feel like we’re all adults, we know what the deal is, just be honest. If he can’t give me a straight answer to anything I ask, Bye! I’m not wasting anymore time?! If you’re asking me for a sexy photo–Next! The pics on my profile are all you need to see.”

    Yes I so keep them on the site. I have given my number out once and the guy tried to keep calling, texting. I ask them the same ” what are you looking for”. A few seem to go through this long explanation of nothing related to the question. I usually respond with ” wow interesting” “so what are you looking for?”lol Has anyone had the guy that said ” everything”. lol It got more annoying after that and that special individual went immediately into the “blocked profiles” group. A few I’ll just say: ” well contact me when you find out”. ha!

    There have been other times where we agreed it wouldn’t work but I said since they were so nice we could remain friends on the site. Fail! That works all of two messages until they are messaging me daily and still pushing to meet. One guy actually opened up a second account to message me again. I like when someone shows interest but that’s borderline stalking.

    Ohh another special member discussed his $200 a week allowance. lol I declined as kindly as to not invoke the wrath of the rejected. Then he said well can I at least see your private pictures? lol for what? Is he looking for a “like” button hidden on the site somewhere? ha some of these guys make my abs hurt in a good way because you can’t even make this up!

    Guys I know you have some horror stories. I was reading the thread that talked about an SD that met a pot SB. In mid lunch/dinner she took our her herpes meds and complained about them “flaring up”. At least she was honest lol:)

  236. Spassbremse says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    Clothing may be a necessity, but it can be just as much a status symbol as a sports car.
    No one “needs” clothes & bags & jewelry for thousands of dollars.

    Oh, I had no idea, that they don’t make the “Smart” in the US.
    Yes, it’s a car (sort of…)
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smart_Fortwo

  237. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    Further north of you there is a huge joke that guys with lifted pick up trucks are overcompensating. I have yet to confirm this with evidence….but I do like a guy with a nice truck ;)
    After all the truck even includes the bed…..

    @VanillaSugar

    Good point about how sometimes pots can be flakely again I think this goes both ways. However, it is really sad when a guy won’t met you because he wants sex on the first date. Just shows how easy it is for either party to be treated less than they deserve.

  238. Madison says:

    @jack: I have an idea… why don’t you throw all of us in a limo so we can continue this conversation in person? :):) in Los Angeles!!

  239. Madison says:

    @Jack: if you want to email me: sugar.arrangement at gmail.

    xoxo

  240. Nikki says:

    I just read this entire thread and i wanted to touch on the STD topic. My last SD was married when we first started seeing each other, he got divorced and long story short, I wanted him to get tested, because even though he was my only SD, he cheated on his wife with me, so I wanted to be completely sure he was disease free. Well, he came back to me with the papers and it said he had to follow up with his pcp because of HSV! HE gave me a B.S. story about it being shingles, and he would take Valtrex, but ever since that I couldn’t bring myself to be sexually open with him. He wouldn’t be my SD and “use raincoats”. So he pretty much left me with what i came in the relationship/arrangement with, (thank GOD it wasn’t herpes) but now he’s in FL with a new SB, and i know she has no idea. He saw how I reacted and I’m sure he didn’t tell her. I’m not really sure what point I’m trying to make, except with older SD’s (55 and up mainly) there is a definite generation gap when it comes to STD’s. So especially with older men GETTING TESTED IS A MUST.

  241. Midwest SB says:

    NWsugarbaby – “…the truck includes the bed.” Hahahahahahahahahahahhahaha….lmao!!!!! I love a nice truck too :)

    An expensive car is a poor investment. I judge a person on their decisions. I’d rather see the money spent on life experiences.

  242. Nwsugarbaby says:

    @Midwest SB

    I think of Warren Buffett when you say that a car is a poor investment. I am of the same mind set. The only exception is if they already have plenty of money to spend on life experiences, saving for retirement, etc. So many guys have nice cars that they lease or bought but are not truly wealthy. Instead these type of guys. Read the Millionaire Next Door and or The Millionaire Mind if you haven’t already….i think you will like it.

  243. Madison says:

    Ferraris, Prada shoes and private jets are not investments. They are called “spending your money on things that make you happy”.

  244. PhoneGuy says:

    >They are called “spending your money on things that make you happy”.
    That’s what my SB is for! :-)

  245. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Nikki-

    I just read this entire thread and i wanted to touch on the STD topic. My last SD was married when we first started seeing each other, he got divorced and long story short, I wanted him to get tested, because even though he was my only SD, he cheated on his wife with me, so I wanted to be completely sure he was disease free. Well, he came back to me with the papers and it said he had to follow up with his pcp because of HSV! HE gave me a B.S. story about it being shingles, and he would take Valtrex, but ever since that I couldn’t bring myself to be sexually open with him. He wouldn’t be my SD and “use raincoats”. So he pretty much left me with what i came in the relationship/arrangement with, (thank GOD it wasn’t herpes) but now he’s in FL with a new SB, and i know she has no idea. He saw how I reacted and I’m sure he didn’t tell her. I’m not really sure what point I’m trying to make, except with older SD’s (55 and up mainly) there is a definite generation gap when it comes to STD’s. So especially with older men GETTING TESTED IS A MUST.

    Thank you for posting this. I think many either are afraid to ask or are told not to do so. There are some SD’s here that have spoken about requiring unprotected sex with sugar babies. I think it’s very important that sugar babies either require the SD to test or always remain protected. It’s NSA and you don’t know when someone may desire sex with another. Just saying. Best to be safe than sorry. Really glad you posted this because I brought this up before and people seemed act as if unprotected sex wasn’t a big deal or as if it was half the thrill.

  246. Jack says:

    Hi everyone. A few “brief” thoughts (I hear the groans already! LOL).

    Let me start with the last issue first, because it is the most important and because I have some expertise on the topic, having practiced medicine for a quarter century before retiring upon my marriage to my now-ex-wife in 2003 (with my practice from 1982 til 2003 being as a board-certified ER doc).

    That issue regards STD’s and in my view, it is generally straightforward if you value your health. Namely–and as much as I hate “raincoats,”–the bottom line in my humble opinion is to use condoms until both parties have produced STD test results, at which time having unprotected sex might be OK. I say “might” because if the parties are not monogamous, then one-time negative test results may not mean much. Deciding whether to follow this rule based on the SD’s (or SB’s) age is not supported by any scientific evidence of which I am aware.

    Two further complications arise, which have not been addressed above, but I think need to be. First, what “tests” are we talking about? HIV? That’s easy. What about herpes? Those tests aren’t totally reliable but may be of some use. Chlamydia? Syphilis? The former is common but hard to test for. The latter is quite rare but easy to test for. HPV (human papilloma virus?) There’s an app (I mean vaccine) for that. The point I am trying to make is that it is hard to be 100% safe regardless of what you do, and that the character of the person you are sleeping with (and their honesty) may mean at least as much as testing–and maybe more. But regardless, get tested. It’s easy, it’s cheap, and if anyone refuses–well, BIG red flag there.

    The second complication I referred to above is pregnancy. So if both parties have tested negative and the “raincoat” is in the closet, how does pregnancy risk get handled, and has there been a meeting of the minds as to how a failure in that department will be handled? I have no specific advice on the topic because it is so personal to the two people involved, but it may bear discussion once the raincoat comes off.

    To Midwest SB (I did my MD and graduate training at Ohio State in Columbus–loved my time there!) and on the topic of exotic cars being (or not being) “investments,” unless you know your cars and the specific story behind its purchase, you might be all wrong in your assessment. Case in point: I bought my 1987 Porsche slant-nose in 1995 for $35,000 (when it was probably worth $50,000). It had 19,000 miles on it then and it has 22,000 on it now, and is probably worth three times what I paid for it. A 300% return in 17 years–while enjoying the use of the car–is probably more than a decent investment in anybody’s book. And of course, the “return” on this investment hasn’t just been financial, if ya know what I mean. LOL.

    But forgetting the above, as Madison has so succintly (an ability I obviously do not possess) pointed out, not every purchase is meant as an investment, and to conclude a guy has made wrong choices on a reed as thin as this one may not be merited. I am considered to be a pretty decent real estate investor in this neck of the woods (Houston) and yet I have made some pretty “frivolous” purchases, for myself and others. But they gave me and others pleasure, so why not? I work my ass off most of the time, why not enjoy the fruits of my labor when not working?

    Finally, to Madison–I have sent you an email already, but as to your idea re: the limo in LA, if I can make it there (I have custody of my two girls 50% of the time so my traveling these days is a bit limited) I’ll be happy to pick up the tab for the limo as you suggested. I did my pediatric internship at Children’s Hospital of LA (Sunset and Vermont) and spent several years goofing off and doing triathlons in San Diego as well, so I like visiting my old haunts, if I can make it.

    Best regards, Jack

  247. TexasSB says:

    My guy said he would never get a Ferrari cause he used to work valet and he doesn’t want to be EXPECTED to give a ginormous tip…he said he doesn’t want to feel that way.

  248. PhoneGuy says:

    @TexasSB, that’s why I don’t buy one. ;-)

  249. Madison says:

    Jack, I replied to your email but it returned to me as undeliverable. Then I tried sending from my other email and I think it went thu. Let me know.

  250. Madison says:

    @phoneGuy: “that’s why I don’t buy one”

    of course…. LOL

  251. madison says:

    Totally adorable profile. Not even close to being my type, but at least he is in the right path: 592470

  252. madison says:

    On the other hand…..wish this one lived close to me…. 816862. Dream man….

  253. SouthernCharmSB says:

    Well, hello there, sugar fam! Long time no see! ::hugs::

    Been doing some traveling and relaxing, but wanted to check in on the blog.

    Whoa! SA party in LA?! Interesting…

    Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! :)

    P.S. @Tina – where art thou? I was actually in DFW for a few hours last week and remembered you. We’ll definitely need to get in touch the next time I’m in the area and hopefully I get to see more than just the airport LOL. Hope you’re doing well girlie. xx

  254. flyr says:

    @Texas SB – A self respecting Ferrari guy would pass the valet, park the car in front and hand the valet a $50 not to touch the car. More likely he would leave the Ferrari in the garage for a sunny day and take the benz

    Handing your Ferrari over to a valet is like sending your 15 year old daughter off on a Hells Angels Weekend Party Ride.

    On the odd chance that someone needs a limo in LA I have a guy that I use for airport and other stuff – high level chess player, artist and very unlike the typical limo service. Spotless Mercedes with understated style

  255. Jack says:

    Hey, Flyr, please contact me (I think the blog moderator can arrange that, if you’re OK with it, no?). I’d love to pick your brain–you seem like an expert in this arena and I’d enjoy talking with you!

    Jack

  256. NYG says:

    To Madison.

    Madison you would love this one.

    Prince. 197118

    Hot body, hot cars, hot house and swimming pool. :))
    Would be perfect for your taste. :)))

    But for me I agree with MidWestSB (don’t I always) :)

    All qualities you listed would be a turn OFF for ME.
    I would think a guy is shallow , selfish and boring if he listed in his profile : I drive Ferrari, I have high sex drive … BORING! and he loves himself so much he can not take care of his girl.

    Madison I forgot R u in Cali?
    Bwt I find that Asian Diamond member (“-” photo with a car) HOT .

  257. Midwest SB says:

    Jack/ Madison et al – Perhaps I should have put a disclaimer on my statement. There are wealthy people who can buy what they want for sheer pleasure…more power to them. One SD I met bought his Bentley as a “date” car and it was a lovely ride. As a fundraiser, the majority of my wealthiest donors drove very modest cars, were genuinely modest people and a true pleasure to be around. They knew that a) cars don’t define the person and b) their money is better spent on great causes. They are my kinda people!

    Jack – There are a few fellow Buckeyes lurking!

    Flyer/ Jack – I will need both of you to confirm an exchange of e-mails and I will happily oblige.

  258. Midwest SB says:

    ***former fundraiser***

  259. Paradise25 says:

    [img]/Users/teresadjao/Desktop/[/img]

    I have been receiving loads of emails from SD based in the USA (I live in London,Uk) is there anyone with LTD experience that could share their experiences?
    I would rather have a SD based in London but as they say “you never know” but would like to have some insight in past experiences…

  260. Paradise25 says:

    excuse the “Desktop” was trying to upload a photo *smh*
    can anyone explain how can I upload a photo with my comments?

  261. Amber says:

    Man, oh man, am I the one who’s wondering why “SD’s” are obsessed with the number 300? If one more SD just offers me $300 to sleep with them and nothing more I will lose my faith :|

  262. semi-newbie says:

    Hi All,
    To those who still remember me, yes, I’m the one posted several months ago, claiming, together with VA gentleman, that we were in love with our SB/SD. I also said that my SD and I were ending things soon and I’m quitting sugar bowl afterwards. Now I’m reporting back. We’ve ended our relationship, and I’ve quit the sugar bowl. When I was in the bowl, I read almost all the posts and discussion on this blog and learnt a lot from them. Although I hate typing and don’t think my comments will have any original points, I hope some of you find it an amusing read.

    First sex–allowance
    It’s a question asked so frequently. After reading the SD forum mentioned by Diana a few posts, I was both abhorred and intrigued. The SDs’ comments on free text drive many on the first date, bare back sex, and SB’s advantages over professionals are really very disturbing to me. Very aware of the fact that the SDs on that forum are a unique sector of SDs because they used to see the professionals quite frequently, I, however, cannot dismiss them as a bunch of fake SDs, because some of them said that they treat their SBs with care and affection, and others claims to see their SBs as GF without drama.
    I think these comments provide a glimpse into the male psyche and make an interesting read. I think there is quite a parallel being how guys view sex and girls view money. Guys think that sex should be mutually beneficial to both parties so they don’t think free test drives as taking advantage of the girls; women think that providing and gift giving to the women you care is mutually beneficial as the guys should feel good being able to take care of the women they care. Meanwhile, there are people of either gender think that women who give up easily without getting what they want (commitments, marriages, money) as easy or silly, and men who give generously as suckers who are easily manipulated. I think maybe when in doubt, drawing the sex-money analogy will allow us to see from the other gender’s perspective.
    As to the question of sex or allowance first, I think the best way to do it is a p4p for a text drive. The best advice I got was from Midwest: have sex only if you want to, not because of the money. In my search for a SD many months ago, I applied this rule. I’ve several potentials. Many made no financial promises, while other made explicit or implicit promises, and all were pushing for sex in some way. I had sex with none but the guy who later became SD. On our first date, he laid out a plan for the arrangement and was explicit about wanting a test drive, because he did not want to commit to an arrangement without making sure the sex was good. And he did not mention the financial aspect of the test drive. I slept with him on the second date, without knowing if I would be compensated because I really wanted to sleep with him. He did bring a monetary gift to the test drive. I think if you want to make sure that the test drive is not free, you should clarify it with your potential SD. For those for whatever reason didn’t, you should at least make sure that you are having sex for the right reason, IMHO. For those who detest the idea of a text drive or want the allowance up front, I completely understand your rationale, although I cannot agree with it.

    The End and why I’m quitting the sugar bowl
    As I mentioned in my post several months ago, I was and I think I still am in love with my SD, despite knowing fully well Guru’s motto “Nothing good can come out of falling in love with a married man”. I couldn’t control myself back then and I refused to. Now after a heartbreak, endless days of crying, insomnia, and surviving by only random naps during the day, I still feel extremely lucky that I met my SD, and fell in love with him. I think he’s my first true love, and because of him, I started to believe again that there are great guys out there who are worth loving with all my might. That’s why I’m quitting sugar dating: I want the possibility of being with someone like him forever, or at least till I stop loving him.

    I know many are skeptical of my so called love. I think I represent the romantic extreme of SBs who wear their hearts on their sleeves. Many must think my feeling for my SD is pathetic, because he may not or at least could not reciprocate my love for him. I agree. Trust me, the experience has been extremely heart-aching. Yet, I believe that I did love him selflessly for who he was rather than how he felt about me.

    That’s about all I think worth reporting. A great weekend to all.

  263. SDinLA says:

    Does a car define a person any more than what clothes they buy, or jewelry, or watches or shoes? Nope.

    It’s ridiculous to say you like Louboutins and think guys who drive exotic cars are ostentatious etc. A $800 pair of Louboutins is 20x the price of a pair of shoes you can get as DSW. They both do the same thing right? A $300k Ferrari is 10x the price of a Honda Accord. Which is a bigger “waste” of $? A woman who makes $100k a year and buys one pair of Louboutins is spending a much higher % of her income/net worth on a pair of shoes (and I doubt it’s the only pair of shoes she buys all year) than I am if I buy a Ferrari. Who’s being ostentatious? A nice pair of shoes can make a woman feel sexy, empowered yadda yadda. Well, driving a nice car can do the same thing.

    There is nothing wrong with owning nice things. Nice things are often expensive. The Warren Buffet argument is specious. So he doesn’t like expensive cars and he has lived in the same house for decades. He just happens to not care about cars and if you think that house in Omaha is the only one he owns/spends time in, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. He has a clifftop house in La Jolla that is pretty spectacular, and it cost many millions, trust me.

    You think it really comes down to buying nice cars or giving tat $ to charity for Warren Buffett? And that he doesn’t spend lavishly on himself? Get real people.

    Trust me, he’s not flying around in coach on Southwest Airlines. If he wants to fly around on a $60MM jet and drive a Buick, is he any “better” than a guy who drives a $300k Ferrari and owns a $30MM jet with two partners? Especially since most of the time Warren gets driven around anyways, it’s not like he drives himself in a Buick when he flies to NYC or California. Even if the guy with the Ferrari has a dozen exotic cars, he has spent far less $ than Warren on cars and planes in total.

    Are there a lot of arrogant jerks and/or not so handsome guys driving exotic cars? Sure, the same applies to other cars too. And there are plenty of ugly women who own expensive jewelry/shoes etc.

    I’m a gearhead. I have ridden/raced motorcycles and been around things with engines since I was 5 or 6 (minibikes FTW!) I like cars. I don’t buy an exotic because it’s a status symbol or to be a poser, I buy it because I like to drive, I like nice cars the same way I appreciate a hand crafted Swiss Tourbillon, or the craftsmanship in a Kiton or a Brioni suit. How is that any different than an other hobby? Or when a woman likes nice jewelry? Most of the guys I know in the Ferrari owners club are like me. Or they are successful businessmen who built their own business and reward themselves with nice cars. Not at all like the stereotypes described here.

    My GF likes exotic cars too, and she is as much of a gearhead as I am, getting out on the race track and down and dirty in the garage. How does she fit into these narrow stereotypes of arrogant, ugly, poorly endowed men who drive Ferraris?

    The sweeping generalizations being made about exotic cars and who drives them just make the person writing those comments seem uninformed, or it just shows that you hang around a lot of the wrong kinds of men with money.

    @flyr fifty bucks to the valet? That’s way too much. This is a topic that comes up often with fellow exotic owners: as you wrote, you NEVER let the valet take the car, you just ask them if you can park it yourself, and most places are happy to have an exotic parked in front, and tip them- $20 is pretty much standard.

  264. Meg says:

    @SDGuru – LOL…I think ‘Hotwire’ is actually where it’s at. I always end up under-bidding on priceline hotels and never end up getting a room…sorta like cheap SDs on… oh…never mind. ;-)

    @Amber – yeah, I don’t know. That’s what I repeatedly was offered as well, and I haven’t the slightest idea…

    Be a price-maker, not a price-taker. Seriously, the most successful & content SBs I met have set the shots regarding their financial expectations & type of relationship they’re looking for. This has been everything from 400/meeting to 1000/meeting to 2000-4000 a month.

    The best advice I can give is to be selective regarding who you want to meet in person. Meet once, flirt voraciously & if you like them but you’re uncomfortable with the “what are you looking for” question, say that you aren’t comfortable talking about this now/want to sleep on it. Then bring it up the next time the two of you meet.

  265. SDinLA says:

    @Meggers No waaaaaaaayyyyyyy, is that really you? I thought maybe a large pile of research documents fell on you deep in the stacks of the library and you’ve been lying there trapped, getting weaker with each passing day.

    And SouthernCharm posted today too?

    Must be because it’s June. Or a Friday. Or both.

  266. flyr says:

    @SDinLA You’re right that most places like to have a couple outstanding cars in front.

    I think one of the things that many women have trouble understanding is the difference between people who have things they love and people who have things to impress themselves and others. It gets pathetic when the pretenders drive west from Hollywood and find themselves on Sunset Blvd wondering how they got passed by an aged Volvo wagon driven by a grey haired gentleman.

    For the SB or potential SB the essential first step is understanding their personal motivations. My guess is that like many things in life there are limits to the choices. If you assume financial support is the vanilla ice cream then you get your choice of toppings, but probably not more than three or four from a long list.

    @semi – great report , please check back in. The path to the sugar bowl is not a one way street but more commonly a detour off the conventional interstate. Even the sugar bowl is an elusive vessel without defined edges. In the center there are purely economic relationships but out to the edges there a blend of honest relationships , sweetened with sugar.

    :

  267. SDinLA says:

    @NYG Эй незнакомец, как вы были… didn’t mean to forget you! ;-)

    @Nwsugarbaby :::waves at her too:::

  268. DianaSBinOC says:

    No you’re not alone on your thoughts Amber.

    @semi-newbie- Interesting experience you had, glad the site I found was helpful and wish you the best in future relationships.

  269. SDinLA says:

    @flyr “It gets pathetic when the pretenders drive west from Hollywood and find themselves on Sunset Blvd wondering how they got passed by an aged Volvo wagon driven by a grey haired gentleman”

    Dang, was that you? You can really make that Volvo wagon hustle. Your grey hair makes you look distinguished too. I am normally a much better driver, but I was distracted by the blonde in the Mercedes that was next to me. I’ll get you next time! :::shakes fist at flyr:::

  270. NYG says:

    SDinLA.

    I am moving back to West coast in a few weeks.
    Would you care to check out whose Louboutins/ Brioni fancier ?
    :)))

  271. SDinLA says:

    @NYG Oooooh, so you signed up for the next season of Real Housewives of Orange County?! Or the Beverly Hills edition? ;-)

    I do need to find a date for the LA party, but I don’t know if I can find someone who is willing to be seen with an ugly guy in a Ferrari.

  272. NYG says:

    Semi-newbie.

    Thank you for your story.

    I am different – then my heart is broken I wish I did not fall in love, and never met this person and he did not buy me anything … just not to have a heartache .
    But it is easier for me NOT to fall in love with a married guy. and this is one of the reason I prefer to date married SDs;

  273. NYG says:

    SDinLA.
    I think I can put up with this (a guy in Ferrari).
    I used to go LA sport club Irvine – only fancy cars were park in the front; I got used to this, yes, it was hard, but I am OK with it now:)

    :)

  274. flyr says:

    @SD in LA – My guess is that you are a better driver than that, but my years in IMSA added to the fun of Sunset. The bad news is that the call never came from Modena; the good news is I kept my day job.

    Speaking of Modena, I wonder if the earthquake affected Ferrari.

  275. SDinLA says:

    @flyr IMSA huh? Hmmm, if you fly out of SMO I bet our paths have crossed. I knew a lot of IMSA guys, not just the Al Holberts and the Hurley Haywoods, but lot of the guys with more money than talent who’d fill up the fields. Still like to get back to Lime Rock or Mid-Ohio when I can, but that’s not often these days. Try to get up to Laguna when I can, but usually it ends up just being for the Concours and don’t get any track time in.

    I was just giving you a hard time about your earlier post, I’ve been a Westside snob for decades, only venture east of Beverly Hills and out of sight of the Bay when absolutely necessary!

    As for fun on Sunset, next time you’re out, check six for the ugly dude in a Ferrari, I”ll be gaining on you. ;-)

    Off to dinner, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend…

  276. Midwest SB says:

    Now, now SDinLA – Warren Buffet can help bail out banks with cash and gives a great deal to charity, so I don’t care how spends his money. I’m not going to judge you simply because you like nice cars…you’ve earned your money, pay your bills and want to have fun. I also don’t think you let the cars you own define who you are. Rather, you let the college coeds, Spot, your horse, and NYG remind us you are the bee’s knees :-)

    I feel like I stirred a hornet’s nest and y’all know me better than that. Perhaps I should have chosen my words more carefully. It was Madison/ Diana that I mostly directed that comment to as I loathe narcissistic people whether they own Ferrari or not. I have personally found that young men with fast cars have fast moves and zero integrity, but that’s just my humble experience. Moving on :-)

  277. AnnaMW says:

    @ SDinLA – I think I’m uncomfortable with cars that advertise minimum income bracket and possible net worth because I am an very private person. I drive newer luxury cars and wear Louboutins but the fact that I can comfortably afford them gives away a minimum income threshold that I am comfortable with strangers assuming. If I had a 20M+ net worth, it wouldn’t a Ferrari as a billboard. I’m simply more discreet than that.

    I dated a guy IRL who owned an Aston Martin, yet was not a car enthusiast. I preferred that we choose another car when we went out because I didn’t enjoy the comments or attention that resulted. I totally appreciate the aesthetics of a nice car and have a few expensive hobbies myself…. While I would not disparage a guy for owning a few toys, I probably wouldn’t be attracted to a guy who is using his car to meet women. If hes a true enthusiast, it would come out and I would appreciate it. If he were a D-Bag, he would probably also talk about his palatial estate and his big dick…. Hopefully you can see the difference in these two personality types and better understand what I mean.

    I’m really not being critical of people who have nice thing, believe me… I was just singling out a type that I don’t like but many woman seem to swoon for…… I really didn’t mean to come across as a snob, I just prefer understated, humble types (aka, guys who drive Range Rovers instead of Ferraris)….. Hahaha…. ;-)

  278. AnnaMW says:

    @ Semi-Newbie – I am so sorry that you are going through that. There is no worse feeling than heartache, especially when there is such inequity involved (him being married). Ugh that completely sucks… My usual clusterfuck is in that I have the ability to really care yet approach things casually while many of the SDs I meet cannot. Dating single guys comes with a set of unique problems, although it is definitely more plausible for a love story to result…. If that is what you’re looking for, I advise that you stay far away from SA. :-)

    The test drive subject has been beaten to death, but I agree with your point about sex meaning different things for men and women….. I couldn’t see myself agreeing to it because I’ve never been with guys (SD or IRL) that I haven’t envisioned sticking around long term (aka, no one night stands). Women on the other hand are a completely different story…

    Anyway, there aren’t very many girls who will admit to advocating p4p/test drives, so you are definitely an anomaly. The guys here are going to love you!! Welcome back.

    @ Midwest – I <3 you. You said exactly what I hoped to in the most eloquent and succinct way possible. A fast talking narcissist with loose morals is the last thing my life needs.

  279. Late Bloomer SB says:

    This is quite possibly the most bizarre writing I’ve ever come across on a profile. Please take down if offensive in any way but with the car convo, it seems appropriate. Holy cow!

    PLS PLS READ AND MEMORIZE>>

    You are a magnificent specimen, with sparkling eyes and smile accompanied by classic carriage and charisma, loquacious and charming in public, gourmet chef in the kitchen ( ppfffttt…….. ) and a well skilled courtesan/concubine in the bedroom ,and a diplomate at parties and events , experience and references welcome . keep scrolling…….>>

    Arrangement could be quite close by and frequent or afar as I have pied-a-terre flats in {location removed}. Arrangement could include a starter car, such as Boxter, Z car, TT roadster, Alpha veloce, or BMW Z4, still hoping someone will qualify for SL550, 911, Bent coupe, Ferr Stallion , Mas Trident Quadraporto, or A/M Vantage maybe DB9, there’s a starter allowance of course, a sample shopping trip, and celebrity party, just to get you going and see how u deal w success and the celeb intl scene, I would hope you qualify soon for the substantial allowance program, and of course there’s the coveted extravagent allowance for that special someone that shows me new Euro bed trix and intl culture……….. get it ? keep scrolling …. >>

    {name}’s stables hav incld Ritz/Taj condos , secluded secure NYC meat packing lofts , Mondrian suites , and various vip gated hideaways @ Setai ,Delano , Shore Club as well as white glove dockside accomodations for the concerned privledged inner circle , both domestic and ” off shore ” .

    Pls, pls, pls, pls, absolutely no fatties , cellulite, luv handles, beer gutties, beachball booty, pear shaped bods, pathetic M&M’s or lemon tips , or the dreaded “droopies” , no thunder thighs, no turkey necks , no dishpan hands , grandma wings , no ignorant inbred cretins or chix WITHOUT PIX , this cood mean you, furthermore no churchgoers, no non drinkers or goofy scoolteachers/social workers, =o), keep scrolling >>

    im looking 4 GIFTED CHIX with : bazookas, melons, rockets, hooters, headlites, hibeams, back breakers, bath toys, battleships, torpedoes, bumper guards, cannons, cha chas, coat hangers, coconuts, missiles, dirty door knobs, fog lites, horns , lungs, and sweater meat mostly , >>>>> read more here

    Hav no wife, no kids, no heirs, the sugarbaby dujour may be named on life insurance policy and sole beneficiary of my estate and cultural endowments, keep scrolling >>>

    You would enjoy International world class events such as flying to France, being picked up and dropped off by helicopter on the roof of yur hotel, so u can view the Grand Prix of Monaco from yur VIP suite bedroom balconey and yur VIP table @ the hotel bistro on the hairpin turn with the Intl TV /movie race celebrities , and switching to view race on your cabana mattress from the back of a megayacht in the marina pulled up to reverse side of race course , and getting power sprayed with champagne all over ur new designer outfit at the celebrity VIP winners after party, %-) , >>>

    PLS GET IT YET darling ? STOP SCROLLING AND GO BACK and MEMORIZE, note bene, IM NOT INTERESTED IN UR EMAIL ADDRESS, IM NOT INTERESTED IN I/M, UR UTUBE, UR FACEBOOK, AND I HATE MYSPACE AND CHAT AND ALL THAT TIME WASTING LABOR INTENSIVE BS, at most we will xchnge a couple emails at which time ill ask u 4 ur exact weight max 115 # , and ur jean sz max 2, and ur cell #, pls dont even TRY 2 waste my time .PLS , PLS PLS ,absolutely NO hasbeen ,ustabee , wannabee 125-140 # suburban grovelling divorced beasts .

    just a major very very totally pissy annoying observation , IF u give me ur cell # , PLS WALK AROUND WITH YOUR PHONE IN YOUR HAND I’ll text you 1st b4 calling , AND ANSWER IT ” WHEN IT RINGS ” LIKE THE REST OF US .

    FAQ >> c below

    will i be the only SA arrangement ??
    OF COURSE BABY , I CAN ONLY DREAM OF “YOU”

    when will i get my 1st allowance ??
    AT OUR 1ST INTIMATE RENDEZVOUS

    do i have to ” make weight ” to qualify ?
    YES, TOTALLY , UNEQIVOCALLY , POSITIVELY , you must weight in each visit LOL

  280. Grasshopper says:

    @Late Bloomer SB – The only thing more vile than that guy is any woman who would actually kiss up to him. That was simply grotesque…

  281. C says:

    I know SA seems to be dominated by straight guys and gals. But are there any options for us gays out there? I would happily fly anywhere in our 50 states(I am a SB after all, so limited FF miles ;]). Or are the current parties good enough for me to meet a strapping good gay guy? I don’t want to book unless I know. Any help from this blog/ community would be much appreciated!!

    Stay hot babies and Daddies!!

  282. ContentSB says:

    @Late Bloomer SB — Thanks for the laugh! Now if that’s not *entitled* (yup…I went there..) then I don’t know what is! :)

  283. PhoneGuy says:

    Grassy,
    Do you think he really says “GET IT” that much?
    So a free Boxster isn’t worth your lover referring to your parts as “dirty door knobs”?
    ;-)

  284. PhoneGuy says:

    Anna/Midwest,
    I guess it really does take all types. Thank God there are women who prefer understated.

    Anyway, there aren’t very many girls who will admit to advocating p4p/test drives, so you are definitely an anomaly
    The key is she is admitting it. ;-)

    SDinLA,
    Did you just give us the upper limit on your income? ;-)
    The difference is people have more shoes than cars and buy more shoes per year than cars per year. Well, people I know. ;-) Wait, that’s just making your Ferrari an even better deal if you are finding it’s percentage of your income over MULTIPLE years. Hmm, maybe I should buy a Ferrari. ;-)

  285. Venus says:

    Today is my first time visiting this website, and reading about it. I began to feel at odds about joining or not for a multitude of reasons. So I read some more, and came across this latest blog about a Los Angeles party. This made me very excited because I would be able to talk to people in person about their experiences, then compare and contrast to my experiences and the type of person that I am. I am new to the site but not new to the field.

    I feel an LA sugar bowl would be fabulous for other individuals new to the “sugar world” to meet, talk, socialize and have a good time face-to-face in a welcoming, nonjudgmental environment.

    QUESTION:

  286. Venus says:

    Will I be able to attend the party, that is get information as to the time and place, withOut becoming a member of this site?

    Thank you!

  287. AnnaMW says:

    @Phoneguy – “I guess it really does take all types. Thank God there are women who prefer understated.”

    It’s easy to become “out of touch”. I’m pretty determined not to become that way.

    “The key is she is admitting it.”

    Thats right… :-) I know that a lot of girls are fine with it because they view it as an income source and often have multiple arrangements. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but I look for longer term, more exclusive situations where the companionship is equally important. I also make too much money to have good feelings about a $800 “test drive”. I’m really no different from them the other SBs, because there is always an amount that would make it worth the consequence.

  288. SDinLA says:

    @AnnaMW “It’s easy to become “out of touch”. I’m pretty determined not to become that way.”

    The issue I have with what you guys write is that you assume “driving a Ferrari = Out of touch.”

    I am active in philanthropy. My family over the past century have given millions of millions of dollars away to worthy causes, anonymously. Founded organizations that have saved the lives and helped the lives of millions of people. I do NOT just write checks and go to fancy fund raising galas. I volunteer at the homeless shelter and animal shelter as a regular volunteer, nobody there knows I am a major donor. Yet according to you, because I am a gearhead and drive Ferraris, if you met me for the first time while I’m driving an exotic, you’d categorize me as being out of touch. There’s is no correlation between a Ferrari and being out of touch! I’d wager as a % that there are just as many assholes, narcissists, selfish, greedy guys NOT driving Ferraris. It’s just that the Ferrari is a visible differentiator and allows people when they DO see a vain wanker driving one to label them as such. And at some level I think there is an element of ratonalizing it: I can’t afford a 300k car, so it’s easier for me to believe that I would never want one because it’s too flashy and the guys who buy them are asshats.”

    I would buy my cars with an invisibility cloak if I could. I like DRIVING them. I like the tactile feel and smells of the leather and interior or a handmade italian car. I like the SOUNDS of a race-bred engine. So what am I supposed to do, not buy those cars because there are also wankers driving them?

    It’s just a useless generalization IMO to equate a certain kind of car with a person’s values or to label them as anything beyond someone who likes that kind of car.

    And IMO there’s a double standard being applied. Why are all women who like Louboutins also not “out of touch” if a guy who likes nice cars is automatically such?

    Everyone has their own belief systems and is going to think what they need to think to get through life, I just find certain generalizations and judgements to say a lot more about the person making them than the people they judge.

  289. SDinLA says:

    @Late Bloomer SB That has to be fake. The poor grammar and such is a big give away, and besides, he is listing cars that do not exist. Nobody who really has been around nice cars would write “Ferr Stallion” or “Mas Trident Quadraporto” there are no such vehicles. Not even worth getting bothered by that “profile” as it’s a complete joke.

  290. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Late Bloomer–wow….and they call the SB’s entitled. lol ! How many names does someone need to describe breast? I’m still on the “sweater meat” part of that sentence.

    My persona favorite: “PLS GET IT YET darling ? STOP SCROLLING AND GO BACK and MEMORIZE,”

    Plus he even has his own facts section.

    And even with all he promises he comes back with
    ” when will i get my 1st allowance ??
    AT OUR 1ST INTIMATE RENDEZVOUS” So basically FREE TEST DRIVE? lol

    I wonder if women contact him or maybe he put that up as a joke.

  291. DianaSBinOC says:

    @NYG- “SDinLA.
    I think I can put up with this (a guy in Ferrari).
    I used to go LA sport club Irvine – only fancy cars were park in the front; I got used to this, yes, it was hard, but I am OK with it now:)”

    Exactly, in old money OC it’s the norm.

  292. AnnaMW says:

    @ SDinLA – Perhaps you didn’t actually read my response….

    “I totally appreciate the aesthetics of a nice car and have a few expensive hobbies myself…. While I would not disparage a guy for owning a few toys, I probably wouldn’t be attracted to a guy who is using his car to meet women. If hes a true enthusiast, it would come out and I would appreciate it. If he were a D-Bag, he would probably also talk about his palatial estate and his big dick…. Hopefully you can see the difference in these two personality types and better understand what I mean.”

    Now, please reread, then explain to me how exactly I am putting you in a box or categorizing you as “out of touch”… You are not the type of person I was referring to. I have expensive hobbies too – boating, aviation, major film festivals, so I am NOT disparaging how wealthy people choose to spend their money. My issue is with narcissists, not with guys like yourself who seem to be very well rounded.

  293. PhoneGuy says:

    And IMO there’s a double standard being applied. Why are all women who like Louboutins also not “out of touch”
    Oh c’mon, the girls who they are looking for Louboutins also get harassed and occasionally labeled with the E word. :-D

  294. SDinLA says:

    @AnnawMW “I think I’m uncomfortable with cars that advertise minimum income bracket and possible net worth because I am an very private person. I drive newer luxury cars and wear Louboutins but the fact that I can comfortably afford them gives away a minimum income threshold that I am comfortable with strangers assuming. If I had a 20M+ net worth, it wouldn’t a Ferrari as a billboard. I’m simply more discreet than that.”

    I am THE most discreet person you will find. I am PARANOID about my privacy. I don’t do social media. I don’t show up easily in Google. I don’t draw attention to myself in any way BUT I love exotic cars. I just don’t think owning an exotic car automatically = attention-seeking or indiscreet.

    “I really didn’t mean to come across as a snob, I just prefer understated, humble types (aka, guys who drive Range Rovers instead of Ferraris)”

    Again, you equate “driving a Ferrari” with being the opposite of the understated, humble types who drive Range Rovers. My position is simply that the car one chooses to drive is NOT a reliable indicator of anything other than “he wants to drive XYZ car.” When I was using SA, I drove my Prius to every first meet precisely because I didn’t want someone to make assumptions about me based on pulling up in a Ferrari. What you wrote displays that I am not mistaken in assuming people make that correlation- to you, “humble and understated” = Range Rover and Ferrari automatically does not equate to that. It’s just not an accurate gauge.

    “@Phoneguy – “I guess it really does take all types. Thank God there are women who prefer understated.”

    It’s easy to become “out of touch”. I’m pretty determined not to become that way.”

    Related to the above… PhoneGuy says thank god women women prefer understated. You had already explicitly stated that to you Ferrari = antithesis of understated. In your next sentence you say it is easy to become out of touch. I think it’s reasonable to infer that by staying in touch you mean “understated”, which =/= Ferraris as you wrote.

    @PhoneGuy Ah, but it is not the fact of owning or liking Louboutins that makes one seem entitled, it is the EXPECTATION that a guy will lavish them upon you because you’re just so darned wonderful and deserving! ;-)

  295. NYG says:

    SDinLA.
    we do know you DO NOT have the shoe fetish.

    But please let us , poor girls, enjoy our shoes , please, :)
    Since we can not get this “tactile feel and smell of the interior ” of your Italian car… yet…милый друг.

    and since you do not have the sexy shoes fetish, please , at least have the sexy lingerie fetish ,

    So not all our girly affords are wasted. :)))

  296. Grasshopper says:

    @Sensei – haha! you said ASSHAT…in the plural, even! Nice ;)

  297. SD Guru says:

    Henceforth, SDinLA will be known as “The Man Who Cannot Be Generalized”. For the rest of you, please feel free to generalize away knowing that he can no longer be offended. :mrgreen:

  298. SDinLA says:

    @NYG I think you misunderstood me. I have no issues with Louboutins. My Ex had a shoe closet that put Imelda Marcos’ to shame. Ditto for lingerie. I think I’m on a first name basis with most of the staff at the Louboutin, Jimmy Choo and La Perla stores in Beverly Hills. I was just asking why it’s OK for a woman to like Louboutins yet it’s flash and bad for a guy to like Ferraris. I’m a huge proponent of all of the above. My issues with entitlement relate entirely to the attitude one displays re: acquiring such baubles, not towards liking nice shoes/lingerie.

    @Grassy Thank you. I just don’t like it when people automatically associate driving a Ferrari with asshattery.

    I will say that there DOES seem to be a much stronger correlation between guys driving Lambos and douche-nozzles. Ditto for open necked, silk shirts and gold chains.

    (N.B. That’s one us of “asshattery” and one use of “douche-nozzzles”, plural.)

  299. SDinLA says:

    Wow, yesterday we have all kinds of long-absent blog SBs posting, then today the blog is graced by the Guru during a weekend? Will wonders never cease?

    @Guru Au contraire, I can absolutely be offended by being lumped in with the asshats and such! Now if someone wants to call me a Guru, I’d be humbled and embarrassed. I may have trekked across the wilderness to visit your cave in the Himalayas, but I’m no Guru. ;-)

    “The Man Who Cannot Be Generalized” is way too much of a mouthful. Maybe I’ll just go back to being the Blog Jester and Blog Slut. Life as a slut is easy.

  300. PhoneGuy says:

    @SDinLA,
    I think you’re mixing what I wrote and what someone else wrote (being out of touch).

    You had already explicitly stated that to you Ferrari = antithesis of understated.
    What percentage of Ferraris are bright yellow or bright red? How many are grey?
    Like you said there is a reason you didn’t drive your Ferrari to first dates. If she loved driving and you guys were going to a track, it sounds appropriate. But it is not understated and it is not the easiest way to get from point A to point B. I think it create a fantastic first impression but unfortunately it would be very distracting. You might think it would tell her something important about you (that you’re a gearhead and love to drive). If you don’t realize what driving up in a $400k car would do I would probably suggest you may be out of touch. The fact that you chose your Prius tells me you know exactly what it would do. ;-)

  301. PhoneGuy says:

    >Thank you. I just don’t like it when people automatically associate driving a Ferrari with asshattery.
    @SDinLA,
    I associate Mustang drivers with asshattery. But then I’m in a low rent part of the US. ;-)

  302. AnnaMW says:

    @ SDinLA – Smart move to take the Prius instead of the Ferrari to meet SBs… Another point that shows you are not the type of person I was describing. Have you really never encountered the type that I am referring to? Come on….

    I don’t think that people who own nice things are bad people. I don’t know how many different way I can convey that I was referring to those who mostly use “stuff” to impress others and advertise wealth to hide their insecurities and terrible personalities. You are obviously not one of those people, and owning an expensive car does not automatically indicate that.

    My point about discretion is simple….. You can assume a persons minimum income/net worth if they have enough disposable income to purchase a 500k car. Some would feel uncomfortable with strangers being able to discern that they are a multi-millionaire just by looking.

    There is nothing wrong with you for not caring about what others think, but I encouraged the BF to leave the AM at home because I didn’t like the “hey, look at the rich people” vibe I got when we used it. Your shoe point is just silly and I’ve already addressed it…… Moving on….. Please, don’t take things so personally!

  303. SDinLA says:

    @PhoneGuy But I am not denying that the association exists, I am saying that it is an erroneous association and lamenting that it does exist!

    And I agree with you, Mustang drivers everywhere correlate closely with asshattery. ;-)

    re: colours, Ferrari racing cars have been red since the early 60s, ergo that is the colour most associated with the marque. 20 years ago, almost 90% of Ferraris were red. The last #s I saw, sometime last Fall, said 45% of current Ferraris are ordered in red. I suggest that this supports my position re: reduced asshattery amongst Ferrari drivers. ;-)

    P.S. My last 3 have been dark blue, metallic medium blue and gunmetal grey, my next will probably be white, nary a red or yellow to be seen.

  304. ContentSB says:

    Car talk….is it over yet…? :)

  305. AnnaMW says:

    @ Content – Hopefully…. It’s becoming so circular, you’d think we were having a p4p discussion. :p

  306. ContentSB says:

    @AnnaMW — Exactly! Or one about STDs, or entitlement, or married men, or….

  307. PhoneGuy says:

    @Content,
    Car talk is never over…as long as men are on the blog.

    @SDinLA,
    I have never seen a grey Ferrari. I have never heard of a grey Ferrari. I’m starting to think you custom ordered it. I think this is a definitive proof that you are not a car DB.

  308. Madison says:

    @Late Bloomer SB: “You are a magnificent specimen” … LMFAO that’s a well known quote from Dwight Schrute from The Office.

  309. Madison says:

    @NYG: “Prince. 197118″ – I don’t go out with married guys….
    “Madison I forgot R u in Cali?”, No I am in New England.
    “Bwt I find that Asian Diamond member (“-” photo with a car) HOT ” LOL LOL good for you!!!

  310. Madison says:

    The whole point of an arrangement is dating someone who is wealthy. Otherwise….. just go to your local pub and you will find plenty of “normal guys”, for crying aloud….

    My local pub, ain’t got any handsome CEOs, Asian billionaires or Ferraris parked on the front. If you are looking for a truck driver who will buy you dinner, honey….. you don’t need to be here. Just wear a skirt to the dive bar.

  311. PhoneGuy says:

    What chu talking about Madison?

    Who is recommending going out with poor dudes?

  312. Alleycat says:

    Hey everybody – I’m baaaaack! Time to catch up.

  313. FLFunSB says:

    Wow, reading about the LA party and the comments captured me LOL. I didn’t get to read all but I got thru a lot.

    Def will tune in more!!!

    I judge by the car they drive but I never underestimate.

  314. Juanita says:

    I would love to be able to travelhave done a little in the past but it sounds like you get out all the time i am just a small town farm girl, i now live in a small town again but hoping to move onto an agerage sometime soon. I would love to be able to jump into a jet with you & go to a place warm blue waters would be a great dream. I am aloud to dream i guess since i can’t see myself doing any travleing anytime soon, i like to hear about what you do it sound great but very busy where do you have time for fun??

  315. TexasSB says:

    What if he showed up in a Jeep?

  316. TexasSB says:

    Mine only drives Benz’s but he gets a new one quite often

  317. Treasured says:

    Who cares which car SD is driving? As my experience shows, car is not always a sign of wealth (I know really wealthy people who choose to drive just normal, ordinary cars, just because it is more convenient for them and not so wealthy people, who lease their cars, just to make a good impression), nor it is a sign of generosity (as being wealthy not always equals generous).

  318. Madison says:

    @PhoneGuy: That was just a rant…. LOL

  319. Madison says:

    @Treasured: 100% of the time Ferrari owners are wealthy. 10% of the time mercedes benz owners are wealthy. Hope you got my point.

  320. Madison says:

    My favorite Ferrari is the blue one ( nope, not red), Ferrari California. :) Which is not outrageously expensive actually; about 220K.

  321. Madison says:

    My goal when I turn 60 years old is to cash my 401K and buy a Ferrari. LOL LOL

  322. Madison says:

    The best cars and the best men in the world are the Italians….. handsome, adorable and soooooo good.

  323. Treasured says:

    @Madison. Yes, that is understandable. But still, wealth does not equals generosity :D

  324. AnnaMW says:

    @ Treasure – THANK YOU!!!

    Another thing to consider is that not all mega wealthy guys are generous and that some marginally wealthy guys are extremely generous. I like to give everyone a chance. When I was sugar-single and someone sent me an articulate, thoughtful message, I responded.

  325. Madison says:

    Well generosity is a very vague term…. if you define generosity by HARD COLD CASH….. then we might have issues. A truly wealthy guy might not give you 1000 in cash each meeting but might throw you in a private jet for dinner in Paris or take you shopping at a Chanel store….

  326. Madison says:

    Which by the way, if you expect to be compensated in cash in exchange of company…well then you are an escort, not a sugar baby.

  327. FLFunSB says:

    I love reading ur posts Madison! Always on point. :-D

  328. Madison says:

    @FLFunSB: I think I should go to law school I love arguing LOL LOL

  329. Madison says:

    To appease the crowd who love going out with non wealthy guys… here is one I would have problem going out with: 772830. Tall, educate and sooooooooooo handsome.

  330. Madison says:

    To appease the crowd who love going out with non wealthy guys… here is one I would have problem going out with: 772830. Tall, educated and sooooooooooo handsome.

  331. PhoneGuy says:

    So if you are compensated by a dinner in Paris, what are you?

  332. Grasshopper says:

    So in Madison’s opinion, everyone who gets cash (aka an allowance) is an escort? Could I have POSSIBLY misunderstood that statement??? =O

  333. Grasshopper says:

    and hello there PhoneGuy ;)

  334. DianaSBinOC says:

    “So if you are compensated by a dinner in Paris, what are you?”
    J’ai faim.

  335. PhoneGuy says:

    Hi Grassy.

    @DSBiOC,
    moi aussi

    @Madison,
    It’s nice to know you go for the hot guy discount. ;-)

  336. liz says:

    car’s huh

  337. Madison says:

    @PhoneGuy: it goes likes this: “hi handsome, for you it’s free” LMFAO

  338. Madison says:

    @Diana: “So if you are compensated by a dinner in Paris, what are you?”

    You are a lucky B*tch. LOL LOL LOL

  339. AnnaMW says:

    I think I <3 you PhoneGuy.

    All relationships include give/take and if they are working property, mutual benefit. For me arrangements aren't that different from RL dating, aside for the fact that they aren't forever-minded and terms are defined. I sugar date when I'm not ready for something serious and it's about a lot more than $$.

  340. Madison says:

    @Grasshoper: “everyone who gets cash (aka an allowance) is an escort?”

    Everyone who sees someone with the sole purpose of receiving cash from another person in exchange of company, yes. I don’t expect cash from my SD. He gives it to me here and there because he knows I have bills to cover. I do see him because he is extremely handsome and wealthy and takes me to places and buys me things I would never be able to afford on my own. Sometimes it goes 4 weeks without him giving me cash. But going to his awesome beach house, drinking his $300 scotch and wearing a nice Tiffany bracelet he gave me, It’s better than cash. Some SBs are here because they want to make quick cash… and to me, people like that are not sugars.

  341. NYG says:

    To Madison.
    about this
    This non wealthy guy from Canada :)
    He might look handsome … but ! I do not think he has a nice personality.
    He did not write too much info in his profile ! exept it is mentioned 2 times ! a girl has to be Open- Minded.
    Obviously he has a kink! :)) how bad is it – the question is .

    I do not know… may be you Madison has more experience at Sugar on line dating and understanding profiles.

    It is just my opinion . plus $ 75.000 a year in Canada is like $ 200.000 in NY.

    Well … me myself have a kink :) who am I to judge anyone. :)

  342. Treasured says:

    @Madison. Ummm…. Actually FOR ME, being generous means being generous in everything, both emotions/attention and wealth (if one is, one just is. With his friends, family and people whom one cares about ;) , and not just trinkets from Tiffany’s or $300 cash at a time ;)
    But, if we are talking allowances…. Yes, I, personally, am looking for one. Not because I don’t appreciate dinners, gifts etc, but because I much rather invest in property.

    And, I never had problems with the actual fact, that no matter how you put it (gift, cash, experiences etc.), being a SB is, in fact, IS an escorting. I would actually call it being a courtesan.

  343. Treasured says:

    ps: I do apologise for all the spelling mistakes, but when I am in a hurry, I do sometimes have spelling problems, with English being my third language out of five (six, if you count Latin :) )

  344. Madison says:

    @Treasured: Well all I have to say is what Rihanna says: “and it’s not even my birthday”.

  345. Treasured says:

    @Madison: I think at this point you have lost me :D

  346. Madison says:

    “cake, cake, cake”.

  347. Madison says:

    @Treasured: It’s a song LOL

  348. Treasured says:

    Yes, I know it is a song :D LOL
    Ok, I am obviously having a “blonde” moment :D

  349. Treasured says:

    Is it as in “I want my cake and eat it? ”
    LOOOOL
    I absolutely being a blonde to have a right excuse every time, when I do not get something :D

  350. FLFunSB says:

    @Madison Bhahaha well seeing that I used to be a paralegal, u have the skills. I was going to go to law school until I saw the debt I was getting into. Plus some lawyers I know are still struggling.

    I can’t believe I am just know catching onto these comments. They should have a forum. Some of these convo’s are classic.

  351. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    How to I report a SD who appears to be an academic conducting research?

  352. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Madison I can’t feed a Tiffany bracelet to my children. Why you insist on trying to make people feel bad for their choices or conduct is beyond me and frankly very unattractive. I am a new SB and am sincerely appalled by the judgements so flippantly thrown about on this forum. If I was less secure with my own decisions I would ran away screaming from SA due to peer pressure here. You are not only turning people off from you as a person but the whole SA experience. Mind your manners.

  353. ContentSB says:

    RE: @Blue Eyed Beauty’s comment — The great thing about sugar is that you’re allowed to define what type of arrangement you’re looking for based on goals. What works for one person won’t work for another; we all have our unique reasons for playing in the sugar bowl.

    Can’t we just all get along?? :)

  354. Madison says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty: Oh, dear…. I see you are really new to this and welcome to the “bad, bad Madison Club”. Take a chil pill, honey.

  355. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ContentSB Being only my second comment ever on this blog, and after reading for weeks to get the lay of the land, believe me I have held my tongue plenty. But when feeling personally attacked based on what my definition of an arrangement is due to my own personal goals, I just had to speak up. Some might be used to this banter and find it quite entertaining (if you like blood sports) but for the uninitiated and new SB who is just getting her SA sea legs, it can be quite disconcerting. Chin up my little ducks, keep your eyes on the prize :-)

  356. Madison says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty: There is nothing wrong with an academic conducting research!! A long time ago I did a paper on swinging lifestyle on AFF. Honey, I don’t know your personal life but I can tell you need a spa and pedicure ASAP.

  357. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Madison The classy answer would have been sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. Just add condescending to your repertoire honey. You are your biggest fan.

  358. ContentSB says:

    @Blue Eyed — I just reread my comment and I don’t think it came across the way I intended. I agree with you, and prefer allowances over other forms of generosity. Like I said, what works for one person won’t work for another. There isn’t a “one size fits all” arrangement (well…i’m sure we could all agree on a price at some point lol), so it’s important to know what your goals are. You seem like yours are well defined and you know what you’re looking for! I hope you stick around on the blog because believe it or not conversation *can* be uplifting here :)

  359. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Madison After reading hundreds of your comments, what you need is a sock.

  360. Madison says:

    @Treasured: Regarding the cake Rhianna song…. LOL LOL She says the guy wants to lick the icing. In here, SDs want our icing!! And they gives us things, and it’s not even our birthday… LOL LOL

    @FL Fun SB: “I was going to go to law school until I saw the debt I was getting into”

    The job market for lawyers is not very good either. Although I think I would be a great divorce lawyer.. I would know exactly where to find the cheater husbands…. LOL LOL

  361. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ContentSB I know there are plenty who agree with me and I appreciate you speaking up. It can be hard for a new SB to wade through all the diatribe spewed by a select few and get to valuable information. I can understand why some would get frustrated and not return. I’m just not one of them :-)

  362. Madison says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty: I think you meant c*ck…. Yes I do need it. Always. xoxoxo

  363. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Madison As both would render the desired outcome, whatever works.

  364. Madison says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty: maybe I should also throw some handcuffs and a blindfold too in this… hmmmmm

  365. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Madison Your behaviour brings to mind a rampant attention seeking child who it’s best to ignore (until they start hurting others at which point any good parent would teach that the behaviour is not acceptable and has consquences). [img]http://budgetairlinewatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/naughty-child.jpg[/img]

  366. PhoneGuy says:

    Awww, thank you Anna. I <3 you too. I assure you my smart alecky humor isn't as endearing in person. ;-)

    @BEB,
    The funny thing is this blog is a poor representation of the sugar world. It's good for pointing you to start up reading or getting advice on the basics of writing or enhancing a profile or contacting people. After that, I can't tell if the sample size of opinions is what distorts it or if it's the cliquishness. Regardless, there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. And there are more variety of arrangements than what shows up being espoused in this blog. Do whatever works for you and don't worry about what is posted here. I think that is where a lot of the bickering on this blog stems…many people think the way they would handle a given situation is right and everyone else is an idiot or a prostitute or a fake.

  367. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @PhoneGuy I agree with you. This blog could be valuable tool in the exchange of helpful on point information but alas it appears to all too frequently get hijacked by the vocal minority. I’m old enough to block out the noise but I know the majority of girls on here are college age and can be susceptible to self esteem issues. Nobody needs to be called “an idiot or a prostitute or a fake.” I guess some just haven’t learned the lesson “Before I judge anyone, let me first walk a mile in their moccasins.” – Native American Proverb (or First Nations up here in Canada, eh)

  368. flyr says:

    Ladies LADIES This is getting out of hand. Makes me yearn for the circular discussion of first sensual encounter.

    But I want to go back to the comments separating the “purity” of the SB process from the sidewalk or penthouse level Pleasure By The Hour concept. Of course I am looking from the other side of the pool.

    The first hurdle is that the professional is only looking to see if there is a significant reason to disqualify a potential, my sense is that most true SB are looking for a reason beyond just the financial. to qualify a potential according to their needs. If it were just financial I would form the ebabe.com bid site and catch up with my Ferrari purchases.

    The second is a generalized expectation that this is not just a one night experience preceded by a one martini interview. The relationship may start on the first night but there’s an expectation that it will continue and the initial contribution probably reflects that.

    The third is that the relationship is more of a partnership (intermittent in physical nature) rather than the keeping of an expensive pet that will perform on call.

    Personally I do not think there is a significant difference between an SB who receives an allowance and dinners etc but no diamond ear rings etc and one who receives no allowance but expects regular gifts, travel etc. I think there’s plenty of room in the sugar bowl for both.

    When I was racing coke was popular, It used to amaze me the number of college students and others who had a pretty high opinion of themselves had only one real question when making the decision whether to spend the night, got coke? (thankfully it was never something that appealed to me)

    My guess it that a very high percentage of the SB are involved in relationships where there is mutual respect and concern. They are not expecting the front door to open to someone yelling. “On your knees bitch” unless that’s a game that they play.

    In summary I think the definition of sugar includes a broad range of benefits and it’s not just the form that matters but the overall relationship. The single, professional SB’s objectives may be to live at a far higher level than her good income would allow, to experience jets, yachts, travel and company that would not otherwise be hers. Others would like to have more time to study vs working at some retail job and others see it both as a personal escape for a few hours a week and some added financial security.

    The differences may be vague at times but as the old Supreme Court Justice noted when asked for a definition of porn, “I can not define it but I know it when I see it”. I think the same thing applies to the difference between sugar and and alternative.

  369. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    What he said. ;-)

  370. AnnaMW says:

    @ BEB – Please don’t take offense to Madison… I thought she was a troll at first due to her constant intent to shock and ability to offend strangers with extreme opinions. Many have adopted a “don’t feed the trolls” mentality and wont to respond to her posts……. My opinion changed when one day, she shifted her conversation focus from penis size and quoted Schopenhauer. She’s like the Rainman of blog SBs… I promise she is at very least innocuous and I’ve come to find her comical and endearing. Don’t take offense. :-)

  371. Gothicgds says:

    Maybe somebody can explain this: what is the point of a supposed SD sending an email saying they’re interested, giving an email address and/or phone number, and then when I email or message back just asking them to tell me about themselves, I never hear anything back. What could even be the purpose of a guy doing that? What does he possibly have to gain by it?

    So far it seems this site has far more guys just playing games rather than legitimately seeking a SB.

  372. DianaSBinOC says:

    Wow this blog has been lively. Are they trying to put you in the corner Madison? “No one puts baby in the corner!” HA!

    “I can’t feed a Tiffany bracelet to my children.”
    Yes you can, it’s called “ebay”. lol

    Welcome Blue Eyed Beauty- Yes we all have different wants and dreams here and that’s fine. I posted the site eccie dot net for ladies to see where some of their sugar daddies spend their time. Again go to the bottom of the page and click on Sugar daddy reviews or something. I can’t think of the specific way to search. After I read a few posts I was so disgusted I couldn’t go back and look anymore.

    Now there are some really great guys and some dangerous ones. Hopefully you find the right one that can provide you with what you’re looking for. My only advise at this point is to make STD testing a requirement and always use protection. That’s it . Everything else people will have to decide for themselves.

    Welcome and good luck in your search.

  373. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @DianaSBinOC Thank you for the well wishes and kind welcome. I have in fact found a wonderful SD here in the Great White North (I think he was one of the first SDs I winked at). I was so surprised by how well we get along. He’s perfect and I’m afraid has raised the bar quite high for any future daddies and he thinks the same way about me!!! We are having a grand ole time. I feel truly lucky. It took a couple of weeks to tweak our arrangement to both parties’ satisfaction but now everything’s right as rain. If a SD truly wants to make you happy, he will take your needs into consideration and vice versa. Oh and this baby always plays safe. :-)

  374. Madison says:

    OMG people, I just watched that movie paranormal activity 2… I got so creeped out…. I need to watch some spongebob and harass this blog a bit before going to sleep….. phew…… that was some scary sh*t….

  375. Madison says:

    @DianaSBinOC: “I can’t feed a Tiffany bracelet to my children.”
    Yes you can, it’s called “ebay”. lol

    LOL LOL LOL that’s exactly right!! If the bracelet is worth 3500 retail, on ebay will be sold quickly for 2000. LOL LOL

    @Gothicgds: “when I email or message back just asking them to tell me about themselves, I never hear anything back”

    Because these types of SDs are the ones looking for the quick cash girls who are not interested in getting to know them. So, when you show interest in wanting to know about them, they back out; because all they wanna do is take your clothes off for an hour for a couple of hundred. They don’t want to go out on a date.

    @AnnaMW: “She’s like the Rainman of blog SBs” LMFAO Thanks Anna. :):) LOL LOL LOL

    @flyr: “as the old Supreme Court Justice noted when asked for a definition of porn, “I can not define it but I know it when I see it”. I think the same thing applies to the difference between sugar and and alternative.”

    Porn is two actors having sex on camera. My boyfriend and I having sex on camera is called sex tape. LOL LOL LOL

    A sugar is a hot girl who goes out with a distinguished and wealthy guy. An escort might not be always hot and charges 1000 per hour, and maybe sees a different guy every day. A hooker is most likely fat and charges 50 per hour and sees 10 guys a day. A street walker charges 10 per hour and sees god knows how many a day. We don’t even wanna imagine what a street walker looks like….

  376. AnnaMW says:

    As defined by this site, part of being an SD is willingness to help a woman accomplish her goals. Some SBs goal is high end shopping, others have debt or aspirations to start their own business.

    When I am in an arrangement that is stable and structured to be long term, I make plans for the $$… I’ve mostly used sugar for investments and business. I feel safe in doing so because I have someone in my life who cares about my success and wants my dreams to come true.

    The problem is that people can be erratic and unreliable and sometimes end things abruptly. Then, that persons vested interest in your goals and success suddenly goes away, and you’re left with little to show, wondering if they cared about you in the first place or if you were more of a “pet” to them…. There’s really no way to tell until after the arrangement has ended.

    My favorite ex-SD has earned his #1 spot because despite the fact that he has since married and we haven’t seen each other for several years, he still has my back… He is extremely distracted with his new life, but I were to need anything financially or emotionally, he would be there… He calls me for advice, I cry to him about bad breakups and he is my real friend. Leaving me high and dry isn’t something he would have dreamed of.

    Sugar relationships are temporary, but who says a lifelong friendship can’t develop? If the foundation of the relationship is trust and honesty, I don’t see why not.

  377. AnnaMW says:

    @ Madison – You’re too funny… When I saw the first Paranormal Activity, me and my gf went home and put on Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs until we both calmed down enough to go to bed. LOL.

    I don’t know where you hang out (probably Manhattan?), but I don’t know many 1000/hr escorts.. Most women who charge by the hour in the midwest go up to 350-4 with a 2 hour minimum, and thats if they’re reeeeally good looking. I’m am friends with one very upscale Chicago escort who is perfect in every way and charges $800/2hr min…… Backpage girls probably do 2-3 guys a day when they’re advertising. My friend only sees fewer than a dozen a month. Street hookers – I have no clue…..

  378. Midwest SB says:

    Blue-eyed Beauty and Gothic – Welcome. Although the types of arrangements vary greatly, the blog can be an amazing source of what not to do and also to help you determine what kind of an arrangement you seek. By this, I mean that we’ve all made mistakes and come here to vent, so learning from our mistakes saves you a great deal of trouble. As for successes…take it with a grain of salt. One person’s success is not the same as another. Once you’ve determined what type of arrangement you want, associate yourself with ladies who have had proven success in that regard and learn. The older blogs (appx 2 years back) also include a wealth of successful SBs. The anonymity of the internet provides a lot of room for embellishment.

    There are also plenty of links to the right that will guide you to specific topics that have filtered out much of the unwanted banter that gets in the way of learning. I know the different personalities can be abrasive, but feel they are balanced well by those that have a genuine interest in your success. Please disregard those whose prose doesn’t agree with your style and please bring a fresh perspective! (((hugs)))

    SDinLA – I posted to you last night but don’t think it posted. We all know that you are the exception to any and all generalities and I never meant to cause you any distress over your fabulous taste in cars. FWIW I don’t covet Louboutins either. I guess I’m just a little too practical :-) I should have started sugar in my twenties instead of later.

    AnnaMW – We need to meet!

  379. Midwest SB says:

    Beware of the full moon <3

    [img]http://i52.tinypic.com/2n1as21.jpg[/img]

  380. AnnaMW says:

    @ Midwest – I totally agree. Can we connect off blog?

    If any of the newer blog SBs want to be friends off blog, let me know. :-)

  381. Tina says:

    Hold up here! (sound of screeching tires) Did I seriously just read “zillion”, “googleable”, and “asshat / asshattery” all in the same thread? Oh boy.

    Hmmm, looks like Phone Guy is getting/increasing his own blonterage in my absence ;)

    @Southern Charm: hiya darlin’! Awww, you were in Dallas? I’m about 3ish hours away in Austin, which in Texas isn’t even considered a day trip. :)

    I’ve missed you on the blog NC Gent – please come back and play :)

    Helloooooo Alleycat! Nice to see you back!

    MEGGUMS!!!!! MWAAAAAAAAAAA!

    Grassinator! We seem to keep missing each other…….

    Smooches always to you Midwest! :) (And yes, the add on was a Dorky thingy, minus Mt. Rushmore ;) )

    Back to what has kept me off the blog!

  382. Midwest SB says:

    Tina – I sooooooooo thought of you when I posted that pic! Mwaaaaaah!

    Alleycat – WHERE have you been? Talking a walkabout???

    AnnaMW – Done!

  383. Madison says:

    @AnnaMW: “I saw the first Paranormal Activity, me and my gf went home and put on Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs until we both calmed down enough to go to bed. LOL. ”

    Oh god, you gotta see the second one, during the day though… LOL LOL It’s on netflix. I just watched bridalplasty, toddlers and tiaras and hoarders to try to forget the paranormal scenes LOL LOL

  384. Madison says:

    What an adorable dude… 330760. This is the kind of profile I would like to see more often.

  385. AnnaMW says:

    @Madison – I watched the entire first season of Bridalplasty when I was sick. My IQ definitely went down a few points…. Toddlers is fantastic but better to watch with company…. Hoarders makes me sad, but I watch the true crime and prison shows a lot.

  386. Madison says:

    @AnnaMW: After watching half of the first episode of Bridalplasty…it makes me glad I am not engaged… LOL LOL it seems once a girl becomes a bride, they turn into this obsessive thing, where only their wedding day matters. My IQ went down 50 points after watching toddlers with fake eyelashes LOL LOL. Hoaders is very sad indeed. I like to watch hoaders when I don”t fell like cleaning my house LOL LOL 10 mins into the show and I start dusting everything LOL

  387. Grasshopper says:

    @Tina – hey..I think we’re getting better…I only missed you by less than an hour!..haha

  388. Grasshopper says:

    Currently watching Alien vs Predator for the umpteenth time. For the record, I would SO do a Predator….it must be the dreads ;P

  389. TexasSB says:

    Hey I have a question if someone could please give me a little advice here?

    I have been talking with and staying in touch with a potential SD since January. I believe this month we are finally going to meet. We discussed plans in text message today.

    He said he might be able to come where I am but he actually asked me if he could stay at my house.
    I was taken aback by this. I don’t know if this is a red flag or not. I told him that he could since I trust him (maybe I should have said no?)

    My thought process is, if you’re a millionaire, getting a hotel should not be a problem.. I just feel weird about this.

    Can someone give me any feedback on this?

  390. Grasshopper says:

    TexasSB- I thought you said a few posts up that you have a SD…you said something about him getting a new Benz every year, or SOMETHING like that, right? Does current SD know you are seeking another one? Maybe you can ask your SD if it’s a good idea to let the pot SD stay at your house or not…

  391. TexasSB says:

    No it’s the same one. I just consider him MINE since we’ve been talking for so long

  392. DianaSBinOC says:

    @Madison @Gothicgds: “when I email or message back just asking them to tell me about themselves, I never hear anything back”

    “Because these types of SDs are the ones looking for the quick cash girls who are not interested in getting to know them. So, when you show interest in wanting to know about them, they back out; because all they wanna do is take your clothes off for an hour for a couple of hundred. They don’t want to go out on a date.”

    Glad you pointed this out. It appears my posting of that site made some guys mad. I don’t think they want the SB’s to know how easy it can be to end up on one of those posts being called ” my little coupon”. lol

    Just got one myself yesterday. He sent over only one message that read “hey I like your profile email me at”. I proceeded to ask him what he’s looking for on the site etc . He read my message and just ignored it. It’s obvious he’s looking for someone in financial dire straits. If she needs help bad enough he’ll start the come over and get it approach. For a guy like that he’s getting off on this beautiful girl running after him for help. He’s playing the carrot on the string little bunny. Hop Hop Hop to it!

    “OMG people, I just watched that movie paranormal activity 2″

    I can’t watch those movies alone. Too scary and I end up sleeping with ALL lights on. lol

    @Midwest – I heard the full moon was approaching so people are going to get even crazier.

  393. AnnaMW says:

    Texas – DONT let a stranger stay at your house. It seems very shady to me for many reasons that he wouldn’t prefer to get a hotel. Suggest that you would be more comfortable if you could hang out at a hotel, or move the venue to a different city and have him get you your own room.

    I’ve had SDs over to my house once we’d established trust and become friends, but I’ve never let one spend the night. Dont do it… Its a big red flag and the guys will probably back me up in not wanting to commit to staying with a girl they never met. It’s weird, I promise.

  394. DianaSBinOC says:

    “Hey I have a question if someone could please give me a little advice here?

    I have been talking with and staying in touch with a potential SD since January. I believe this month we are finally going to meet. We discussed plans in text message today.

    He said he might be able to come where I am but he actually asked me if he could stay at my house.
    I was taken aback by this. I don’t know if this is a red flag or not. I told him that he could since I trust him (maybe I should have said no?)”

    It’s a red flag to me. My thought process is, if you’re a millionaire, getting a hotel should not be a problem. I just feel weird about this.

    Can someone give me any feedback on this?”

    My view is “not my home”. He should be able to afford a nice hotel and if he can’t why not? That part troubles me too. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t want to turn my place into a bread and breakfast.

    If you’re really a millionaire why can’t you afford a hotel? Hmm perhaps because you accidentally added too many zeros to your income? It was supposed to read $30,000 not $30,000,000. Those pesky zeros creating problems again.

  395. Jack says:

    Texas SB,

    I’m not going to outright disagree with Diana and Anna, but I will address just a small subpart of what they said because it was a recurrent theme in their comments, namely, If he is a millionaire, why doesn’t he stay at a hotel?

    I can easily afford a hotel room if I were to travel and see an SB, but if I had my druthers, I’d would much prefer to stay at her house, IF IT WERE APPROPRIATE (there are lots of reasons it would NOT be appropriate, from nosy neighbors, to roomates, to cramped quarters, etc).

    Having said that, I don’t think I would ever invite myself to someone else’s house (and I mean that both within the SB/SD context and outside of it) because I think it’s generally a gauche thing to do. The exception to that would be if I felt REALLY comfortable or close to that person, but even then, I would think twice (or more) about inviting myself. Since you have been communicating with your SD (whom you actually consider YOUR SD) for so long, perhaps the relationship is sufficiently advanced to merit his self-invitation.

    I also think it depends on the nature of the relationship you guys anticipate. For example, if you anticipate just a few times a month together and the rest of the time, you’ll go your separate ways, perhaps better NOT to open up your personal space. On the other hand, if you view him as a potential for a more extensive relationship, then inviting him to your home might be more appropriate.

    To get to my initial point, why would I generally prefer to stay at her house (assuming circumstances are appropriate) if I can afford any hotel? Because I find hotels generally tremendously impersonal as opposed to being in someone’s home. The latter also affords the opportunity to get to know the person much better, which can lead to a more meaningful relationship (how has she decorated the place? what pics does she have hanging? does she have animals? etc). Of course, this can be a two-edged sword, in that the SB may not want to be THAT revealing.

    Finally, I have invited a couple of potential SD’s to my home as a first date (yea, I know many of you will think that’s crazy) and I actually made dinner for them. A third one invited herself over–she stated in order to check out the pool and jacuzzi (and I made her dinner as well). In this case, the potential SB’s got to know a lot more about me than they would have on a date outside. I realize many SD’s and SB’s would never do that, and there are lots of good reasons not to, but I am fairly Googleable which I think made these ladies pretty comfortable with this unconventional first date approach.

    The main reason I share this experience is just so that you know that I have done the reverse of what your SD is asking to do.

    I’m sure I haven’t answered your question, but hopefully I have given you a few things to think about.

    Best of luck!

  396. Meg says:

    Texas – What do you know about the guy? Do you have his legal name? Have you checked out his work-place site? Have you seen his linked-in profile? If that’s all good…then no.

    You do need to meet first in public & verify his identity, but after that…if he’s who he says he is, I don’t see a problem with bringing the guy home.

    & I don’t necessarily think it’s a red flag. ‘Homes’ are nice. They’re comfortable. I’m sure you’ve maybe talked about what a good cook you are. Business travel gets tiresome & lonely. It’s fun to see someone’s house & see how they decorate it and how they live. Unless the guy is dirt-broke, a 60-100-dollar 4-star hotel (Hotwire. Seriously, where it’s at) is not going to dent his wallet. I’ve even had people who actually have hotel suites ask to come over for dinner & spend the night at my place…so maybe he’s on that page in terms of your relationship.

    So why don’t you just say something like:

    ‘I’ve been thinking. I trust you, but you never know until you’ve met someone in person and there’s an eensy-weensy chance that we’ll meet & the Chemistry won’t be there. So why don’t you book a hotel. We can meet up for dinner and at your place for the first night or two you’re here, and if all goes as expected, you’re welcome to spend the rest of your trip at my home.

    Or…not sure how long he’s planning to stay… but you’re a smart cookie. If he’s traveling from far away, tell him he should rest up before meeting up so he can be fully charged for your time together.

  397. Candy says:

    OMG! Please host a sugar party in LA! This has been my fantasy party for a while! HOW EXCITING! It will 100% be a HUGE SUCCESS!

  398. AnnaMW says:

    @ Jack – I’m glad those unconventional dates went so well. I would never show up at a strangers house regardless of their googleability. If I were on match.com or any other dating site, I wouldn’t do it either out of concern for my personal safety…. After the first few dates, I would happily visit them at home or have them visit mine.

    I have an ex-SD that will sometimes text at 11pm and ask to stop by when he’s in town…. Not for a booty call or anything like that, just to say hi and catch up. He is my friend and he is welcome in my home any time. I don’t have an attitude with treating SDs like close friends, but they have to actually be that first.

  399. FLFunSB says:

    I Agree with Anna, I need to meet in a public place first then make my decision if I will make it to your house and I would never let a SD in my home unless he was paying for it.

    @Texas please be careful, I have come across a lot of fake SD. I was fortunate to have a wonderful SD to spot a fake one a mile away. Have you Skyped with him?

  400. SoSeductive says:

    I would love to go to the LA sugar party! Maybe I can finally meet someone that’s the real deal instead of fake 30k millionaires looking to pay cheap prices ugh

  401. Madison says:

    @Grasshoper: “Currently watching Alien vs Predator”

    That’s less scary than ghost movies :):)

    @DianaSBinOC: “I can’t watch those movies alone. Too scary and I end up sleeping with ALL lights on. lol ”

    I did sleep with all the lights on last night!!! :):):)

    @Texas SB: “if you’re a millionaire, getting a hotel should not be a problem.. I just feel weird about this”.

    Texas…. absolutely. It’s like….so you are a millionaire and you prefer stay at my poor studio, rather than then getting room service at the Waldorf Astoria.. yah… right….

  402. FLFunSB says:

    Thought everyone would get a laugh out of this email I got. :-/

    ” I am a regular guy just looking to meet one, drama free woman who doesn’t want to change her world. Just looking for friendship and NSA relationship. I’m successful, stable and I think most women find me attractive. ”

    I thought every SB was looking for that one TO CHANGE her world?

  403. TexasSB says:

    Ok thank you everyone. I think he does think that our relationship is serious and I think that’s why he asked me that (I think he mentioned in the past somethign about not liking hotel rooms). But I think I’d still be uncomfortable with it (for more reasons than just security cause my house is probably a sh*t hole compared to his) so I’ll talk to him about it. (BTW he’s the one who cooks! Not me!) I’m actually glad he said he wanted to come to ME instead of me going to him for the first meeting ’cause I’d be more comfortable with that.
    I have not Skyped with him but we talk almost everyday on the phone. I haven’t googled him and I don’t know his last name but I know he owns several companies that he has talked about with me.

  404. TexasSB says:

    ” I’m successful, stable and I think most women find me attractive. ””

    ^
    Why would he need to confirm this?

  405. SD Guru says:

    @TexasSB
    “He said he might be able to come where I am but he actually asked me if he could stay at my house.”

    Regardless of his reason or motivation for making such a request, and no matter how serious he thinks the relationship is, just keep one simple fact in mind… you have not met him in person and there is no arrangement in place yet. Learn to trust your gut instinct and don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Trust is earned over time through actions, not words. If you need me to throw more cliché at you just let me know. :)

  406. TexasSB says:

    Thanks SD Guru

  407. PhoneGuy says:

    @FLFunSB,

    I assume he meant, “I am a regular guy just looking to meet one, drama free woman who doesn’t want to change HIS world.”
    That’s the entire reason I’m on here. Don’t tell me how to raise my kids. Don’t tell me to sell this house and buy that house. Don’t tell me I think my job is too important. Those are the reasons I want an SB and not a wife.

  408. Gothicgds says:

    I got the impression that it is fairly standard for a Sugar Daddy to give a prospective SB at least a little something for her time if she comes to meet him. Am I wrong in that?

    I just met the most clueless wonder of a SD ever. He wanted a dominant SB, but he knew nothing about being a SD and nothing about being submissive, and apparently since I’m dominant he expected me to have a fully kitted-out dungeon of the types that run in the thousands of dollars. Other than that he had no idea what he wanted, although he was kind enough to mention about five times that h has a small ‘wee wee’.

    And the best part? I got done up, went to meet him, and got *nothing*. I don’t mean he didn’t give me a gift, I mean I didn’t even get coffee or dinner out of it. When it seemed to be wrapping up (after a grand total of twenty minutes) and I gently suggested it’s standard protocol for a SD to give the SB some kind of compensation for her time, I got a blank look and “What, you want me to buy you coffee?”

    UGH.

    I am seriously about a hair away from giving up on the SD thing entirely. I don’t think I’ve met a real SD yet, just poseurs and wannabe-players using the promise of money to try to get women to chase them.

  409. Jack says:

    Gothicgds,

    Sorry to hear of your negative experience.

    Not to be a pain, but how much screening did you do before meeting him, and what was the discussion regarding where the “meet” was going to be?

    There are plenty of real SD’s, and it seems to me, the fakers shouldn’t be THAT hard to make out. Just FYI, if our first meeting is going to be a dinner date (which is a common, but not exclusive, type of first meeting), I let the pot SB pick the restaurant and I meet her there. And I usually give $100 to $200, although not if it’s demanded up front. If somebody demands money up front to meet me, I politely decline. I don’t know if that’s “normal” but it’s what I do.

    I hope this helps!

  410. black cherry says:

    Is it just me but a profile stating high sex drive,would see me NEXT and that doesn’t mean i don’t like sx,some things are great to discover along the way,i love discovering,keeps things exciting too and i have had a few Sb’s actually say they don’t give much thought to profiles that brag about or mention sex,i also tend to respect guys that avoid putting the whole sex talk on their profiles but that’s me,oh and even though i love a present on a first date,am not always expecting it and i never ask for it,another big no for me is guys that pose in front of their cars,or have pictures of their cars on their profile,i never respond to them,am proud to say my SD owns a ferrari and i had no clue he had one am not big on sports cars either,in fact he happens to have a whole collection,Bentley,Aston martin and a rolls,and on our first date he turned up in his Range rover vogue (am more a range rover type and i love a Bentley).All am saying i would have never guessed he had all these cars,but it was lovely to know over time what he had and he never talked about cars either.At the time all i care was,do i like him,can he afford my allowance and does he like me enough to take on this arrangement.i have also learnt never to judge a book by its cover LOL get to know them ALWAYS!

  411. black cherry says:

    I agree with SDinLA nothing wrong with guys that drive these cars,and yes i know someone that is so selfish in real life and his constantly bashing guys that reward them selves with these exotic cars(mind you he could afford one himself but for some reason just hates the guys that buy them,i wonder why he just doesn’t shut up and stick to his regular car,after all his choice )

  412. Gothicgds says:

    Hello Jack, thanks for the response. I met the guy at a Starbucks inside a Barnes & Noble near a mall that has a few decent restaurants – not $100 per plate type places, but decent. I figured we’d choose a restaurant from there. There was no problem the last time I suggested that to a potential SD (of course he was the only one I’ve met who seemed like a genuine SD). It was my choice, he didn’t argue.

    And honestly, I’ve never ever mentioned that kind of compensation to a potential SD before – usually they offer it toward the end of the date without me saying a word about money. I only mentioned it with this one because he’d made a big deal about wanting to meet today and he had no clue about SD/SB etiquette, so I figured he just plain didn’t know it was the done thing. I’ve seen some SBs say that they establish that up front, but I feel awkward enough asking about what a potential SD is offering monthly. Sugar protocol seems to be very variable.

    I talked with this one for a while, but he seemed like the kind of shy submissive guy who has a hard time talking about himself except in person. Obviously I misjudged that one. :-/

  413. AnnaMW says:

    @ Gothic –

    I would *never* expect a guy to hand me money or a gift on a first date. How is he supposed to know I’m worth impressing if we haven’t even met? I try to keep expectations as minimal as possible in the beginning…. I treat a first sugar date like any other and would actually be uncomfortable if a guy handed me money the first time we met.

    I am actually surprised that a sub wouldn’t bring a gift…. It sounds like he really had no clue what he was doing. I don’t even talk to people who advertise themselves as “dominant” or “submissive”.. Too much of anything can be a bad thing if the preference isn’t shared.

  414. LASB says:

    TexasSB – This is how you answer your question. Think of the worst possible outcome of you letting this guy stay at your place. Then decide if it’s something you can handle. For example, the guy becomes violent. Are you trained to deal with that? Does your building have a good security team? Or if he starts snooping through your things, (happened to me recently) do you have personal items that you’d prefer to keep private and do you really want to have to monitor him that closely?

    Wasn’t there a woman recently on the blog who was having a phone romance (something about mommy buttons???!) with some guy, only to show up in his town and be practically assaulted for $150? If he likes you that much and is as wealthy as he claims, booking a room in a comfortable hotel for 2 nights shouldn’t be a problem.

  415. SouthernCharm says:

    @Tina – Pfffft! 3 hours is a piece of cake! How are things with you?

    @SDinLA – Howdy, partner! :) Invisibility cloak, you say? Why, yes, that could certainly come in handy the next time we are role playing….err, driving down the 405…in your Ferrari ::blushing giggles::

  416. Madison says:

    @FLFunSB: “free woman who doesn’t want to change her world”

    When a guy says that, he means he is looking for someone who doesn’t want a serious relationship.

  417. Madison says:

    @Gothicgds: “I gently suggested it’s standard protocol for a SD to give the SB some kind of compensation for her time”

    I would disagree with that statement. On the first meeting it is just for a meet and greet only. No dinner, usually just drinks. Second date, usually involves food. Third date is when things get hot and gifts are exchanged…. :)

  418. Madison says:

    @BlackCherry: “a profile stating high sex drive,would see me NEXT”

    I like an assertive guy, so for me personally…. a guy explicitly saying he has a high sex drive… my friend… it means it is REALLY high and he knows well what he is doing in bed. And that is VERY important to me. :):)

  419. Madison says:

    @AnnaMW: “Too much of anything can be a bad thing if the preference isn’t shared”

    And that is why I like guys who can say aloud they have a high sex drive; because I have a high sex drive myself and if the guy is the type who lasts only for 20 mins and cant get hard afterwards… it ain’t gonna work.

  420. Tina says:

    @Midwest: you thought of me when posting a mooning gnome…..I don’t know if I should be flattered or a little bit worried about what you REALLY think of me ;)

    @SouthernCharm: I’ve been GREAT! Busy, but things are starting to come together. And I had a nice little brainstorm last night / today that might prove fruitful with something I’ve been pondering on creating. I’m excited!

    @ Phone Guy: what, not even a hi? pffffft I say to you, PFFFFFFFFFT! (flicks chin with 2 fingers)

  421. Madison says:

    Oh, my f*cking god…. I just received an email from a creep ( it’s been a while I haven’t gotten those):

    “I have an incredible fetish for feet, legs and high heels. I am seeking a friend that would be interested in offering pics/vid clips encompassing my fetish desires for cash on a regular basis”

    F*cking CREEP, PSYCHO. Jeeezzz

  422. TexasSB says:

    Hahah those can be entertaining

  423. ContentSB says:

    @TexasSB — When a pot came to visit me he made a 3 night trip out of it. He had a hotel reservation which he used the first night, but then stayed with me the following 2 nights. I live alone and LOVE my space, so I was going absolutely crazy by the end of it. It was way too much together time and I couldn’t wait to have my apartment to myself again. If a SD ever traveled to me again I would insist on him having a hotel room for the duration of his trip for no other reason than it would give us the potential to have some breathing room if needed. Just something else to think about :)

  424. AnnaMW says:

    @ Madison – Whats wrong with that??? :) It actually sounds like you’ve been offered the rare and elusive ‘platonic arrangement’ that everyone here clammers about…. :-)

    Funny side note – I think the same guy may have also contacted my friend in NY today. How many foot fetishists can there really be?

  425. Treasured says:

    @ Foot fetish. I am I the only one who think that there is nothing wrong with that? High heels galore, regular feet rubs and a possible pedicure allowance :D :D

    And re gifts… YOU ALL are so lucky to be living in USA! SD in Europe have absolutely no idea what being a SD means. Not a single guy has brought me ever anything to compensate for the first date (good thing I did not really expect it). And THAT is considering I did a background check on all of them (meaning, I was 100% sure they do not work as a waiters in a nearby cafe). Umm… Actually I am wrong, ONE did bring flowers (which was a nice gesture).
    Most of the SDs either are looking for an Escort (in a classic sense, as in “I like you, darling, how much you charge per meet?” Agrrr!
    Or, a girlfriend and a possible falling in love “I really don’t feel that we should get to know each other better, shall we spend the weekend first together, nice spa, dinners and of course, I will book your flights. Sex, as you understand is expected, but I don’t want it to have money involved, as THAT would feel too escortish. So, maybe, if we really like each other, we could develop something else. And if not, well, than there wasn’t a connection”. So, basically, you want to spend a weekend as a gf/bf couple, but with an option to dump me afterwards… Strange, how when I mention, that if I do not expect being paid, then you should not expect sex, most of them dissapear! :D

  426. PhoneGuy says:

    Hi Tina Sweetie.

    So I assume that is a bad sort of “flicks chin with fingers”? ;-)

  427. juls says:

    Treasured..
    I completly agree with you on your points about the men in europe…. i have met 3 men and the same as your outcomes….unreal theses men…
    Im flyin to the uk to meet a man next week we have talk for weeks online, he was booked my first class seat…my 5star hotel room i have reciepts for everything , the hotel show two rooms one for me and one for him…i will let you know how that gos …xx

  428. juls says:

    TexasSB
    I know everyone has given you advise but sure i might aswell add lol
    I had been chating texting etc to a man for weeks online but when i met him he was a different person than i had imigined and pictured him in my head…his behaviour was sickening…thankfully it was only a meeting for coffee but look at the bigger picture you never really get to know anyone until you spend time with them.. In this game you must put safelty first at all time. DONT ALLOW HIM IN YOUR HOME ..please ..:0) make an excuse that family are staying over etc..

  429. juls says:

    [img]http://www.mysafetysign.com/img/lg/S/Safety-Comes-First-Think-Sign-S-4157.gif[/img]

  430. Treasured says:

    @Juls – Well done for getting first class flight and a separate hotel room for yourself :D Most men I chatted with want to put me on Ryanair and book only one room :D LOL
    Good luck to you and hope it goes well :D

  431. FLFunSB says:

    @Phoneguy Ok I get that and completely understand. I do not want a traditional relationship here either. Im want a strictly SD/SB one.

    @Madison thanks for clarifying, Glad I posted it now. :-)

    @Tresured No its def not weird for a pedicure allowance, foot rubs, OR him buying some heels to wear later. ;-) but I never liked the sucking of the toes fetish. :-/

  432. Treasured says:

    @ FLFunSB – I actually don’t mind someone sucking my toes :D But then again, I have my own kinks :D
    It has to be done properly though :D :p

  433. Madison says:

    @AnnaMW: “Whats wrong with that??? :) It actually sounds like you’ve been offered the rare and elusive ‘platonic arrangement’ that everyone here clammers about…”

    Darling….this guy is a creep…. read the entire email below:

    “Hi sweety,

    I’m serious. I know my request probably caught you off guard but it is such a turn on to be teased/seduced by a pretty young lady Actually, seeking pics or vid clips. I love sexy heels and well taken care of footsies! Actually feet/legs wearing sexy heels in seductive, sexy poses for pics. I am also very interested in vid clips. I adore a women in sexy high heels who like to tease such as, leg crossing, shoe dangling, caressing, slowly removing stockings in a seductive manner along with seductive talk while saying my name.

    Maybe some masturbation instruction style clips intertwined with some humiliation talk…things like that. Such an immense turn on! pretty feet, shapely legs, high heels, foot jewelry, all is just exciting & mesmerizing to me :) I want to be seduced, brainwashed, hypnotized by you and submit to your beauty. I know this is pretty weird but its just fantasy that drives me wild. Regular purchases can be in order if I like what I see. :)
    Can you please send a sample pic to my email?

    Willing to do $50 for 10 pics and clips something like $60-75 via paypal/electronic gift cards based on length & content if you have the goods. :)
    I look forward to the possibility of having a sexy girl seduce & tease me. Also, if we hit it off, gifts of shoes and accessories can be included in our arrangement. If you are interested, I have some sample clips that I can send ya to give you an idea of what drives me wild. Just seeking a drama free, honest arrangement between two respectful adults where we both can benefit :)

    M. ”

    If anyone here thinks this is not psychotic… please have your head examined……

  434. Madison says:

    There is a big difference between a wealthy handsome gentlemen stating on his profile he is assertive with a high sex drive who loves to f*ck in his ferrari….and this useless soul sitting in his mother’s basement collecting videos and photos…..knowing he will never ever get close to any of us.

    Creepo.

  435. Madison says:

    Anyone who obsessively collects things are psychotic in a way. It is the same mentality a serial killer follows. Just plain creepy. Ewwww…

  436. Treasured says:

    @Madison – LOOOL! Creep or not creep, you don’t have to meet up :D All he is after are your “footsies”
    Tell him to add a “0″ to the amount he is willing to pay and enjoy Louboutin allowance :D
    LOL

  437. Treasured says:

    ps: DO add that the only foot jewellery you wear is platinum with diamonds :D

    But, on a serious note….. I really know/knew relatively a LOT of normal guys (in real life) who have VERY weird kinks. Like guys, about whom you would never tell that they would enjoy anything but the old plain sex.

  438. Lady Cash says:

    I’m a SB in San Antonio, Texas….looking for a SB partner to double up with. Any takers?

  439. SDinLA says:

    @Midwest and AnnaMW Mea culpa. I don’t really care what anybody thinks about cars or the people that drive them. It had just been dull as dishwater here lately so I figured I’d find a new topic to stir the pot on since we’ve beaten the horse to death on so many other topics. ;-)

    @Grassy Ew. The mental image of a Predator having sex is not appealing. I hope he keeps his helmet on.

    @Tina clearly, PhoneGuy needs you to administer a spanking. Don’t be gentle!

    @SouthenCharm SB Shhhhh!!!!!! You’re not supposed to talk about what we’ve been doing.

    Re: a SD inviting himself into your home… to me, one of the primary benefits of this lifestyle is the ability to set boundaries that both parties would like to have. And one of the things I look for in ANY dealings I have with people is respect. Asking to host him in your home when you have never even met is an egregious crossing of even a lenient boundary, and displays a complete lack of respect for your personal space, safety concerns etc. That would be a deal killer for me because it tells me that he’s likely to put his desires before mine again. I don’t care WHAT his reasons are, they may even be legitimate. My OCD tendencies mean that I hate hotels, no matter how fancy, so yeah I might prefer to stay with my SB eventually. But not the very first time we were meeting. And I’d probably only feel comfortable doing that if I put her up in her own place.

    Re: foot fetishists, there are apparently quite a few out there. I know a coed who made a lot of money doing that kind of stuff entirely virtually, she never had to meet with the guys.

    Hope everyone’s weeks have started off well!

  440. SD Guru says:

    @Madison
    “If anyone here thinks this is not psychotic… please have your head examined……”

    He doesn’t appear to be psychotic based on his email. He’s just a man who is serious about his fetish, and some women might be interested in what he offers. But he’s looking for it on the wrong site though, there are many other sites catered to that. If we all judge other people’s fetish/kink as psychotic, then there won’t be any sane people left. :)

  441. DianaSBinOC says:

    TexasSB-”Ok thank you everyone. I think he does think that our relationship is serious and I think that’s why he asked me that (I think he mentioned in the past somethign about not liking hotel rooms). But I think I’d still be uncomfortable with it (for more reasons than just security cause my house is probably a sh*t hole compared to his) so I’ll talk to him about it. (BTW he’s the one who cooks! Not me!) I’m actually glad he said he wanted to come to ME instead of me going to him for the first meeting ’cause I’d be more comfortable with that.
    I have not Skyped with him but we talk almost everyday on the phone. I haven’t googled him and I don’t know his last name but I know he owns several companies that he has talked about with me.”

    Ok I’ll weigh in one last time on the pot SD.
    1. You don’t know what he looks like. ( Pictures can be fake and from the eccie dot net or dot com site I can’t remember the name but many of the guys that posted were in and around Texas)
    2. “I hate hotels”- I understand some people do, but what does he do when he normally travels? Call random people and asks to stay at their home? Pretty sure he gets hotels to stay at. So this one time will not kill him. In other words this is a weak excuse.
    3. “We haven’t skyped” – So for all you know this guy messaging you could be anyone and now he has your address. Remember some of these guys not only have older pictures of their former handsome looking selves but some use pictures of a different person all together. I do not enjoy blind dates especially if after the date I wish I was blind.
    4. It’s just plain rude to invite yourself to someone’s home especially if it wasn’t offered. Anyone being persistent or coming up with excuses is putting red flags in my head.
    5. I want to make you dinner. Aww how sweet…. wait … what are you doing?? The kitchen is that way… wait… “I did say I want to make YOU dinner”. Nooooooo !! chop chop chop… tssssssstss ,she will taste better with garlic yummy. Sorry had to be dramatic lol !
    The point I’m trying to make is that you do NOT know this person. So yes complete stranger is inviting himself to your home that you have never even seen. With technology , there is no reason for someone to meet a person without seeing their face.

    There was one pot that I talked to with the back and forth messages. It was annoying because his profile said he doesn’t want to do that. So I told him can’t we just talk on the phone? He dodged questions and kept asking ” where are you over and over again”. It’s on my profile what was he looking for an address? Yes. I don’t know you so that’s not happening. So after the back and forth I asked him to skype. He refused. Young millionaire without a webcam? I mean do they seriously make laptops without those built in anymore? So I suggested we talk on the phone. He said sure I call you this week. Never happened. I googled his email and not only was he lying by 17 years age difference , his pictures were fake (so not him at all) but his email pulled up a review he left for a massage parlor that umm services men by “hand”. He later sent me a message saying he doesn’t call anyone but just meets for coffee. HA! (BLOCKED).

    I HEART GOOGLE!!!

  442. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    In the world of kink it is uncool to judge other people’s kinks (there are a few exceptions but feet are not one of them). To each his own. A foot fetish is relatively tame in fact. We all have our own individual turn ons. If we didn’t, what a very boring world this would be. I find nothing creepy about Mr. Foot Fetish. I get turned on just by knowing I am turning someone on :::gasps:::. And if that is by my feet, bring it. The sexual psyche is a wonderful mysterious landscape. I try not to limit my view. Pass along Mr. Foot Fetish’s ID. I’ve got cute feet and will give him the respect he deserves. ;-)

  443. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @SD Guru I was actually surprised by how many SD’s are looking for subs/bottoms or dommes/tops as there are indeed sites that specifically cater to kinks/fetishes. But I’m not necessarily displeased with this revelation ;-) The uninitiated however could get in over their heads so beware newbies. The world of kink/fetishes has many levels; it’s best to do a lot of research before embarking. Trust is even more important in these types of relationships.

  444. Madison says:

    Peeps…. What you are not getting is the picture/video collector mentality… is it not like he wants to worship your feet ( which s hot BTW)… but what creeps me out is the fact he wants to COLLECT your picture and video and willing to share SAMPLES from others who submitted her videos/pictures. This is individual is a psycho collecting pictures from god knows how many hundreds of women out there and getting a hard-on by sharing/looking at them…

    Oh, god no matter how you sliced it… just creeps me out. Maybe I’m just getting old….

  445. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Madison Men are more visual. You aren’t getting old. In fact you are still very very young and it shows.

  446. Jack says:

    Blue Eyed Beauty, you wrote:

    “In the world of kink it is uncool to judge other people’s kinks (there are a few exceptions but feet are not one of them). To each his own. . . .”

    I’m not a foot fetishist but I completely agree with you. In fact, “To each his own,” goes far beyond festishes, doesn’t it? I’ve been impressed by the broad range of interests displayed in this site, and I think that’s a plus, not a minus. Some want a one-night-stand (or a one-hour-stand!), others want a committed relationship, and most fall in-between. Who are we to judge what each person seeks for him- or herself??

    And to TexasSB–I had given you some advice on the question of the pot SD coming to your home, and I predicated my advice on how well you knew him. Based on your subsequent revelation that you don’t know his last name (and therefore can’t Google him, obviously) and haven’t even Skyped, I am going to have to agree with the ladies who have posted and suggest that you not host him at your house.

    Jack

  447. juls says:

    Can i ask is there any IRISH sb on this blog??? I would love to chat with some…
    BRILLANT BLOG :)

  448. Madison says:

    Hey ladies/guys

    Some guys have a hard time believing I have a couple of degrees, saying if I that was the case I wouldn’t be here LOL . So I’m thinking about posting this pic on my profile, but I look so dorky not sure if it’s a good idea. Let me know.
    [img]http://postimage.org/image/5r8i9g78n[/img]

  449. SD Guru says:

    @Madison

    It’s ok if you’re creeped out by it. Just don’t assume everyone else feels the same way.

  450. Madison says:

    [img]http://postimage.org/image/oswbwczpr/[/img]

  451. Madison says:

    My pic its not posting…

    @Guru: I never assume people need to agree with me although I always tend to convince people LOL

  452. Madison says:

    [img]http://s19.postimage.org/48rhxvjyr/dorky.jpg[/img]

  453. Madison says:

    Ok, is the pic above too dorky??

  454. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Someone mentioned old pictures being posted on profiles. My SD asked that I send him a picture with his name written on a piece of paper to ensure that I in fact looked the same as my posted pictures. Of course I had fun with this ;-)

    He also agreed to visit me in my hometown, purchasing me a GC at my local spa so I could prepare, showing his good faith. He booked a local hotel room for himself. There was never any pressure to perform.

    I was willing to meet him before an official arrangement was established, but we did have a rough idea of the mutual benefits expected. He loves loves loves to shop….me not so much. Getting cash just gives me more freedom to do what I want when he’s not around. We met somewhere in the middle to both our satisfaction.

    Due to our distance he doesn’t expect to be my only SD and I’m comfortable with that.

    Back to original post, would I go to LA party? Where I live, it would be extremely expensive to take that trip, so the answer is no (unless I meet a suitable SD who would like to see me go). For those who plan on attending, enjoy :-)

  455. AnnaMW says:

    Ok Madison… I see what you mean now that you’ve posted the email. As I said, I don’t mind the foot thing, but anyone who is that one dimensional wouldn’t hold my interest. Cute pic, btw. :-)

  456. Madison says:

    Yeah Anna… a foot fetish is one thing, collecting videos and pics across the board from every skirt he sees… it’s another. I wrote a very nasty email back to him. He will think twice before asking anyone for a video from now on I hope LOL LOL

  457. TexasSB says:

    @DianaSBinOC

    he’s not from texas, he lives in Vegas. I haven’t told him my address, Like I said, I’m probably gonna tell him to get a hotel. Still not sure why he asked to stay at my house but I suppose it doesn’t matter cause I don’t think I’d be comfortable with it.
    I know what he looks like…I’m pretty sure he’s not fake. And also I’ve been talking with him on the phone for quite a while so it’s not like we’ve only been messaging through email.

  458. TexasSB says:

    @Madison, no it’s not too dorky. Looks fine to me

  459. Frank says:

    Hey everyone, just caught up on the blog.

    I would not meet anyone for the first time in a non public space, just no reason to do that.

    Blue Eyed Beauty, welcome to the site, you are a breath of fresh air.

    A follow up, some of you will recall me talking about my sb who got ill and needed support through her difficult time. I helped her out for a couple of months, we started seeing each other again, and I finally figured out it all was a complete SCAM. Even though you have met a person, you still never know them.

    So here I am again looking for that sorta perfect sb.

  460. AnnaMW says:

    @ Mad – Aw. No need to be mean to the guy for putting himself out there…. Plus, you run the risk that he might get off on it.

  461. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    The only thing he will think twice about is asking you for anything else. He likes what he likes, and he’ll find an SB who will provide it with warmth and a smile. That’s the beauty of SA.

  462. SD Guru says:

    @Frank
    ‘I finally figured out it all was a complete SCAM.’

    I’m sorry to hear about what happened. How did you finally figured it out? When you posted the story about your SB’s difficulties back in March, several on the blog cautioned you that it could be a scam. I hope you have learned to overcome the “white knight syndrome” and can find a SB who genuinely deserves your generosity.

  463. Madison says:

    Hey beauty if you want I can give you the creep’s email and you can knock yourself out LOL

  464. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    sure maddy

  465. NYG says:

    Madison ! Very good picture; I like your glowing skin and shiny hair. coz on your moniker your hair looks bad.

    Girls look this profile 101500.
    Who likes nerds. But he is not a D member and even married and Forbes list guys do send their pics and real last names.
    England girls – and com

  466. NYG says:

    And Enland girls complain they do not have rich and generous guys:) joking.

  467. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: hmmm, about time. And yes, the chin flicking is a bad use to wiggling fingers :P

    @SDinLA: I think I might have to extend the chin flicking to you as well, since you never said a proper hello. HARUMPH! But, you are correct, Phone Guy DOES need a good, stinging spanking. One that leaves a handprint for a few seconds. Hmmmm…..

    @Frank: I’m so sorry that you had someone that was that dishonest! Good luck on your search – I’m sure that someone wonderful is out there, someone that would NEVER think of doing that to another person.

  468. FLFunSB says:

    @NYG I couldn’t view the profile :-(

  469. NYG says:

    ” rich nerd” 101500
    I can see. I thought so many girls like nerds here.

  470. Midwest SB says:

    TexasSB – I’m so glad you came to your senses. Always trust your instincts. The fact that you even asked is an indication that he has no business in your home for a while. No excuses…period.

    Frank – So sorry to hear it was a scam. Please don’t let it convince you that every SB has dishonorable intentions. I would definitely stay away from the hard luck stories in general and just find the lady who tickles your fancy while keeping her own life in order. She can’t be much good to you if she can’t keep her own stress levels to a minimum. Sugar should be an accessory…not a staple.

    Madison – I always thought that a higher education teaches you to think outside the box. I guess it’s not always the case. The beauty of SA is that it affords you the opportunity to meet a tremendous variety of people, new experiences and unique personalities. They aren’t all going to fit into your comfort zone, but I’m sure you can afford to stretch beyond the hot gift daddy in a Ferrari. BTW – I prefer your moniker pic…it’s softer.

    General questions – There was talk of selling sugar gifts on E-bay if cash was needed. I know that a gift is a gift and shouldn’t have strings attached. SDs – If you found your SB was selling her gifts, what would be your reaction? SBs – How do you feel about gifts that you don’t need or ask for? I always found it to be a tricky scenario. My SDs have all been allowance daddies, but one potential wanted to purchase a gift for me that I would never use/wear except for when we visited. It was so awkward to tell him “Thanks” without being genuinely enthusiastic about the gesture.

    SDinLA – Phew! I was about to send you my best “sexy heels dangling from my lovely footsies” pic out of desperation.

  471. Madison says:

    To all of you creep lovers here it is the foot-fetish pic colletor’s profile: 670817. Don’t be fooled by his average Joe profile…. creepy email guaranteed. Why in the world he picked me to send his creepy email is beyond me…..

  472. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I can’t imagine selling gifts on e-bay while still in the arrangement.

    I think many SDs love shopping for their SBs and part of their enjoyment is seeing the SB don/display her gift. I wouldn’t want to take that pleasure away from him.

    Luckily my SD (the only one I’ve had to date) has impeccable taste and realizes no two women are alike and all have different tastes. We are still getting to know one another and each other’s tastes and confer on all gifts. It’s truly all about me. What a wonderful feeling *swoon*

    On another note, I wanted to give a small gift to my SD to show him how much I appreciate him. I realized I couldn’t compete with an expensive gift but still wanted to give him something. Now this may sound corny but after speaking with him, I realized he does his own dishes by hand (no dishwasher). So I knit him a set of cotton dish clothes and wrapped them in a bow. I imagined him using them everyday and thinking of me. Well he was pleased as punch and said no other SB had ever given him a gift before. I found that quite sad. Sometimes it’s just the little things that speak volumes.

  473. FLFunSB says:

    @NYG Saw it yes, I like blunt and to the point. Liked his profile.

    @Madison and everyone, I would delete him. Am I wrong for deleting SD’s that have their allowance set at less than $1,000. I can work with negotiable but I can’t work with less than $1,000. I don’t bother and delete.

  474. SDinLA says:

    @Tina “I think I might have to extend the chin flicking to you as well”

    O RLY? THAT’s how you wanna be, huh? Well, “vaffanculo!” to you too. And I’m sending Spot over to pee on your lawn again. :-P

    @Midwest I’d like to think any gift I gave was thoughtful and had more value/meaning attached to it than strictly monetary, but if you need cash for other purposes, you need cash for other purposes. Frankly, you’re never going to get the full value back selling something on eBay or wherever, so if my SB needed cash for something, I’d prefer she told me so I could give it to her rather than her having to try and sell gifts and losing a huge % of the item’s price in the transaction.

    If a SD is dead set against providing an allowance/cash, and you’ve had the discussion with him about needing/preferring an allowance, IMO he’s lost any right to get offended if you need to sell a gift that he gave you.

    @Frank Sorry to hear that your SB was indeed suffering from faux cancer. Those of us who warned you that something seemed rotten in the state of Denmark probably could recognize the scam because many of us went through something similar when we first got into the sugar bowl, and it’s just as terrible as when a guy tries to get sex for nothing from a SB.

  475. NYG says:

    FLfunSB.

    My point was what he is fake. The real rich and successful guy (like he described in profile ) would never write like this coz he would be smart and respectful.
    but England SBs can check him out.

    I do not remember another member’ nick, may be will come across later, he wrote me last year – profile says “I am definitely in 3% of the richest people in America” … We were e mailing each other for ~ 4 months but never met up.

    I just think a really successful guy would be a D member or would not write like this. ?
    I think.

  476. FLFunSB says:

    @NYG Well damn LOL

  477. NYG says:

    Madison. I wrote here half year ago that guys with a foot fetish are subs. They want to adore your feet, to be humiliated , to be told how to masturbate… this is your first letter from him … If anyone would write to him more his is going to ask for a SO and so on…
    as I wrote at least 3 guys with the foot fetish turned out to be subs (big time) – I mean I interact with them only via e mails , never met up,
    Wait recently one more guy – did not say he has any kinks , we e mailed , texted… Finally met up for a lunch, after !!! The lunch then I am walking to subway station he stared to tell me “I have some kinks…” I told him to go home and e mail me his kinks – how bad/good it is :))

    Of course he wants to be tied up… and then I remember he did compliment a few times my shoes on pictures!

    At least SDinLA hates sexy fancy shoes …thanks G. :)

  478. flyr says:

    @midwest asked how a SD would feel about the SB selling gifts. I guess I would step back into the shadows as Clint Eastwood and note that what we have here is a failure to communicate or perhaps a lack of respect.

    Most of the stuff on Ebay is half retail or less, often less. Either the SD is grossly insensitive to your tastes and needs or you are showing him something that it not the real you. It works for a while but usually not for long.

    I think it’s really OK to explain to a SD that you are investing in your future, doing something noble etc and what you really need to achieve your dreams is cash rather than diamonds or a $5,000 purse. I would exempt from this the set of matching gold hooker pumps and handcuffs send by some narcissistic SD.

    See note that follows…………….

    @Midwest – What a home run, a truly personalized gift. It also says that you do not think he is dumb to be doing his own dishes. In another world I had a number of entrepreneurs outside the tech world coming to speak to MBA students. One of the frequent comments was that there were not a lot of nice people at the upper levels of their industry. Many were really quality people and they craved true niceness of the type described by Midwest. Never be intimidated by your inability to match resources, use your resourcefulness instead.

    @NYG – I think there are a lot of reasons not to be a D member including maintaining a lower profile. A secondary goal is to attract a healthier type of SB.

    FL Fun – I wander between a high cost of living area and moderate cost of living area. When I see an SB with a less than $1,000 allowance I think pleasure by the hour provider. I guess if I were a female looking at the SD with the same post I would think he is looking for the same thing. However, there is a huge difference is the value of money across the nation. In NY or DC $1,000 is chump change. However in many areas it is a nice apartment. As someone noted, 18 months of rent on a nice apartment in Santa Monica would buy a 3 br home in much of FL. Of course you have the flying bugs of sufficient size to need air traffic control clearances.

    I should add that some of my opinions are colored by my good fortune to have recently met a lady of substantial intellect, character and sensuality on here. What became apparent to me was that I was talking with 5-6 potential SB of whom most all were primarily here for the tangible economic benefits. What I really appreciated was that one asked intelligent, probing questions and was fearless in suggesting that my taste needed some adjustment but that she would love to help. A great SB / SD relationship is about nurturing the magic,

    Each generation wants to create their own vocabulary .Were I trying to help a friend who wanted to explore the SB options my advice to her would be to be herself and to differentiate herself from that what she was not and did not aspire to.

    @ Frank – sorry to hear the story. As you have heard you are not the first or the last.

    .

  479. Nwsugarbaby says:

    The girls I live with made me chocolate covered strawberries while we study. I think it is the little things that count in terms of gifts as Midwest talked about. Both sides should do small gestures to show they care. I am still all about the allowance as that allows me to reach my goals more than material things.

    @Frank- Sorry, but I’ve always lived by its better to know now than to keep dumping money into an endless money pit “project”. I once was really serious with a guy, loaned him some money, and have finally accepted I will never get a dime back.

    @Madison- I am not into feet either, but realize that guys have fetishes along with girls.

    @SDinLA- That would be an interesting way as a coed to make money and would work for someone who doesn’t like meeting the SDs. I personally couldn’t be virtual like that with someone. I like the face to face interaction ;).

  480. FLFunSB says:

    @flyr Touché

  481. SocalSweetheartSB says:

    First time commenting on a SA blog :)

    Wow, the comments on this post are quite entertaining. I am excited to hear that there will be a sugar party in LA! Looking forward to hearing more details about it.

    I would love to meet some fellow SBs planning to attend. It would be fun to have a group of friends to go with. I am in Ventura County. :)

  482. Frank says:

    Thanks everybody, I will find another sb, it just takes time.

  483. flyr says:

    @Madison quoting the foot fetish guy “Willing to do $50 for 10 pics and clips something like $60-75 via paypal/electronic gift cards based on length & content if you have the goods. ”

    Returning to this only because of the possibility that his business is both collecting the tapes and selling them to his fellow pervs. Obviously there’s stuff that goes way beyond this.

  484. PhoneGuy says:

    @Tina,
    This chin flicking fetish you have is creeping me out. :-P :-D

    @Midwest,
    I love shopping for my girl and surprising people so I occasionally buy something for someone where I don’t know whether they will like it. Usually I include a gift receipt. My goal is to surprise them and make them happy. I don’t want them to keep something they hate. If they didn’t like it I would prefer to take her back to the store myself, shop with her and exchange it for something she loves (and I get to learn her tastes better in the process). It wouldn’t upset me that I picked out something she didn’t like. It would upset me that she wasted half the value of my gift by selling it on ebay.

    As SDinLA says, if she needs money I would rather she tell me what she needs extra money for and I can choose to assist so she doesn’t have to sell stuff she owns.

  485. Transgendered Emily says:

    Fetish types have always turned me off. As a transgendered woman, men with kinky fantasies have always come to me, but I’m really just your average girl in bed.
    It’s so nice to be out of West Virginia and back in civilization. I’m in New York City right now, but will be getting to Massachusetts very soon. Hope to hear from a man in the area.

  486. Madison says:

    @flyr: “Obviously there’s stuff that goes way beyond this.”

    THANK YOU. That dude should not be here. Collecting pictures and videos is a HUGE issue that the majority if girls here are not seeing it. HELLOOOOOOO a guy asking for videos should trigger all kinds of alarm bells…..

  487. PhoneGuy says:

    @Madison,
    If you want to warn girls who aren’t “seeing it” I suggest you tour high schools and warn girls to not send naked pix on their phone to guys. That has a much higher chance of coming back to bite them and of ruining lives/reputations.

    We’re all adults. We know the score and the possibilities.

    A guy asking for (and paying for) videos on a site like this should draw yawns. He’s being very straight forward. You know exactly what you are sending him. If the worst that is going to happen is him trading to other like minded collectors…/yawn.

    If you plan on running for public office someday, keep your face out of frame. Or keep your face out of frame anyway. He just wants to see your sexy, sexy feet. ;-)

  488. PhoneGuy says:

    I love when I read a profile and it says “no creepers”. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and so is creeperness. I’m a middleaged guy who wants to go out with a young, hot girl. If you asked me I’d say every guy on this site is a creeper. ;-)

    To Madison a creeper is someone who likes feet or wants a video of you. Again I’d say 99% of the guys on this site wouldn’t mind a video of a young, hot girl.

    ps Hi Tina!

  489. Madison says:

    @PhoneGuy: I just had a dear male friend telling me a horror story about a sugar babe… all I can say is that creeps go both ways!!!

  490. Madison says:

    I’m planning my Summer vacation. Going overseas to spend time with my parents. I miss my mom!!!

  491. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Foot Fetish Guy can be anywhere he wants. I didn’t realize this was the Vanilla Dating Site. The only thing mainstream kink/fetish communities do not allow is animals, poo and kids. As long as everyone is consenting (there’s even a fetish called non-consensual consensual), nobody’s judging you. Again, to each his own. Theres’ a couple of things going on with Foot Fetish Guy. He sounds like a sub, is a voyeur, and likes feet. His compliment may be a domme exhibitionist with nice feet. It’s one long sexual continuum and we all fit on there somewhere. Some more left or right centre. If he did get his ‘head examined’ he’d be told he is perfectly normal and to not be ashamed. I’m ‘seeing it’ just fine. Shaming does no one any good. There’s nothing illegal going on. In fact he’s asking very nicely. Kudos to him for being in touch with his turn ons and having the ability to express it in a respectful manner. I see no point in being nasty to him and only hope he was able to ignore such as the sentiment of a close-minded person. If he’s the boogy man, we are all in more trouble than we think ;-)

  492. Madison says:

    @Transgendered Emily: Hi Emily, I will be in the city on Monday, let me know if you want to meet for a drink. I never met any sugar baby from here in person and would be nice to have some laughs about this whole thing. Let me know.

  493. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @PhoneGuy – You’re my kinda ‘creep’ ;-)

  494. Madison says:

    Hey anyone up to pay off my student loans? 55K so far and counting. I’m being creepy now, I know. LOL LOL LOL. Might as well….

  495. Tina says:

    @SDinLA: while you were focusing on Spot peeing on my lawn, I sicced my dog on your fancy cars and their interior, with the promise of hidden treats. You didn’t need those seats, did you? Oh, AND he peed on all 4 tires of the most expensive ones, including the bike. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    @Phone Guy: what, a little chin flicking creeps you out? Tsk tsk, and here I thought we could have some real fun ;)

  496. PhoneGuy says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty,
    Why thank ya darlin. I like your attitude too.

    @Madison,
    >Hey anyone up to pay off my student loans?
    I would…but you would need to send me a video. ;-)

  497. Madison says:

    @PhoneGuy: You write me a check for 55K…. I’ll show up with my own camera crew, make artist and Sasha Grey!! LOL LOL LOL More lighting please!!

  498. Madison says:

    I’m a changed woman. I would like to thank the footfetish creep for opening my eyes to the wonders of the creep world. Dude you are my hero. XOXO

  499. Midwest SB says:

    Tina – There’s a bad Carrie Underwood song in there somewhere :)

  500. Cassie says:

    Hello, Everyone –
    I am new to this site and the SD/SB life. I am wondering how I can tell who is posting on these blogs. I have been reading them and find myself somewhat attracted to some of the SDs writing.

  501. ContentSB says:

    @Cassie — Ahhh, the blog SDs are quite charming…most of them have a great way with words ;) You can ask the “blog gods” (moderators) to trade email addresses if the SD is willing to share his info as well :) Hope that helps!

  502. AnnaMW says:

    Not all foot/leg guys are subs…. Just saying. That hasn’t been my experience at all. The opposite, actually..

  503. DianaSBinOC says:

    ***Foot Fetish Guy asking to buy videos/pictures***– I for one don’t have issues with someone’s kink or fetish. However the chances that this guy is really paying for what he’s asking is slim. He can easily find fetish type sites or camera models to buy what he’s looking for. So him being here would usually indicate a need to get what he wants for free. Noticed that he put “IF” she makes the cut. So basically he’s going to receive many videos and pictures but he’s not going to pay by easily stating she didn’t make the cut. The only thing that is required of him here is paying his membership fee. There’s also no real way to determine if he has paid any women in the past which makes his situation even easier. So most women would avoid him , especially those that are looking for a real allowance with a real in person arrangement. Also there are enough free picture collectors on this site to begin with, he just sounds like he’s looking for a specific type of a free collection.

    I don’t think this is about being closed minded anymore. I think it’s more about being close walleted.

    @SDinLA- “If a SD is dead set against providing an allowance/cash, and you’ve had the discussion with him about needing/preferring an allowance, IMO he’s lost any right to get offended if you need to sell a gift that he gave you.”

    I agree. Many SD’s state they may feel an allowance feels too transactional even if they know that’s exacty what the SB needs. So she may have to make the best of such an arrangement.

  504. Madison says:

    @Diana: “I don’t think this is about being closed minded anymore. I think it’s more about being close walleted”.

    LMFAO :):)

  505. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @AnnaMW – So true. The combinations are endless really. That’s why getting to know someone intimately is so exciting. No two are alike as they say.

  506. Madison says:

    Sugars… Boston SDs profiles are beating NYC SDs profiles in the generosity department…. although the most handsome ones seem to be all located on the west coast

  507. NYG says:

    Madison.

    Who is the most handsome in the West coast ? Details please. :)))Kidding.

    Would you like to meet up in Manhattan on Monday? for either : a drink/ lunch/ dinner / fun play time. (the last one is a joke … well I am never too serious at the blog) .

    Or may be not a j

  508. NYG says:

    Or may be not a joke … we have to give our blog SDs something to fantasize about … before they start to talk about tax returns, ties, whose cars are fancier .:))

    and (about fancy cars, private jets) in my honest opinion :) !
    If you meet a REALLY nice Gentleman who is intelligent, kind, honest, respectful ,
    handsome and very generous with you ! it is ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT matter what color is his Ferrari and his private airplane.

  509. Madison says:

    @NYG: did you say play?? LOL LOL SURE!!! Drinks would be awesome too :):) email me. My email is somewhere on this thread. :)

  510. Cecy says:

    I would love a Los Angeles SA sugar bowl party!!

  511. Madison says:

    @NYG: “it is ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT matter what color is his Ferrari and his private airplane”

    LOL LOL of course it does not matter…. especially if he is willing to pay off all your bills!!!! :P

  512. Cassie says:

    Thank you, Content SB : )

  513. NYG says:

    Oh… Madison I do not have any unpaid bills.:)

    Come play with me and you will not have them either. :)
    Well…
    Brandon put a knew topic … how are r suppossed to talk about details of our fun time with you ?:)))

  514. Tina says:

    @Midwest: I think you’re right, now I’m going to have to start thinking about more lyrics…..mwahahahahahahahahaha!

    @Cassie: yes, the blog SDs are quite charming and pretty dang wonderful. I’ve had many crushes so far on a LOT of different personalities.

    @Blog SDs: love you guys! MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

  515. Madison says:

    @NYG: “I do not have any unpaid bills.:)”

    Like…no student loans? No credit cards? No car payment??? Who’s your daddy???? LOL LOL
    Tell me your secret in exchange of a few martinis?? LOL

  516. AnnaMW says:

    RE: Blog SDs – I like Dorky and PhoneGuy. :-) Girl Crushes – Madison & Jen/Euphoria

  517. NYG says:

    Madison I just e mailed you, hope I got the correct e mail address.

  518. NYG says:

    btw Dorky is an active member at SA again … only not a D member anymore . :))
    but the same picture. Dorky I hope it is not a secret :)

  519. AnnaMW says:

    NYG – I don’t know anything about him at all aside from enjoying his posts!

  520. Madison says:

    @NYG: Got your email!! :)

  521. FLYR says:

    @Diana “@SDinLA- “If a SD is dead set against providing an allowance/cash, and you’ve had the discussion with him about needing/preferring an allowance, IMO he’s lost any right to get offended if you need to sell a gift that he gave you.”

    I agree. Many SD’s state they may feel an allowance feels too transactional even if they know that’s exacty what the SB needs. So she may have to make the best of such an arrangement.”

    Perhaps it’s a marketing problem, convincing him that paying your tuition / student loan etc is a gift .Unlike shoes, handbags, dresses etc it’s a gift that will last a lifetime and help others. Further that certainty is also a gift just as the relationship allows him certainty that you will be there having left your problems at the door.

  522. Playful_Canadian says:

    So… when will there be a Canadian Sugar Party????

    Should it be in Toronto – Montreal – Vancouver???
    Any other Canucks out there wanna attend a Canadian Sugar Party???

    Maybe if there’s enough interest – and since Ottawa is known to be the Canadian city with the highest population of Ash.Madison users, maybe Ottawa should host a Canadian Sugar Party???

    Just a thought…

  523. CoralFlower says:

    Hello all!!

    BRANDON!! We had a fantastic night, it was great to meet so many other SB’s and many of us still keep in touch and meet for drinks and a catch up! Thank you to you and Nikki for bringing us all together, it was lovely to meet you both and have a good chat about the sugar bowl! @EnglishRose and i were still nattering about it some time later!! :-)

    Hope you’re keeping well

    CoralFlower

  524. Ash says:

    I think you guys should defiantly have one in Chicago. The turn out would be enormous. I also think there would be an equal number of SD/SB interested in coming. I be more than thrilled to help plan it too! :)

    XOXO

  525. JamIrishSugar says:

    Bonsoir Sugar Bowl!

    How is everyone’s day treating them? Hopefully all is well in your worlds. I’ve been trolling this blog for some years now but have always been shy to post. But I’ve been experiencing some “Sugar Difficulties” so to speak and need a little advice from you experts here. So without further delay here is my dilemma:

    I’ve had about 4 or 5 different accounts on SA since 2008 (I delete my account and start over every year). I also have accounts on the affiliate sites such as MissTravel, Millionaire, etc. I have pictures posted although my face is blurred but my private pics are unblurred. I do believe I’ve followed every bit of advice I’ve found within the SA blog to a “T” “U” AND “V” and in the last 4yrs I’ve only gotten 2 responses both of which were spam. What is it that I’m doing wrong? I’m Jamaican and Irish, with a mixed accent from both countries but am on the darker side. Could being foreign or “chocolate” be what makes this harder? I’m also 6ft tall but am taller most of the time because I adore heels. Could height be my issue? I keep fit by playing soccer and running cross country and am currently studying for dual degrees and fill my spare time (which I have A LOT of despite my studies) with art and music. When I send e-mails I always customize them to the individual and rant about myself very little if at all. I live in upstate NY (Syracuse to be exact) but state that I’m more than willing and able to travel and want to relocate. Could location be an issue?

    I’m lost and discouraged can any+everyone PLEASE help me?

    Sorry if I ranted…I just needed to get that out :)

  526. Bri says:

    I’m looking foward to the party n LA. It’s my second home I’ll b there for sure! :)

  527. Svetlana says:

    Im in to fly to L.A

  528. HappyHolly says:

    Woo hoo. I used to throw VIP parties in Vegas for my biggest clients. LA is my full-time home now. If you you need help in the event planning department, I’m your girl. And I promise it will not mimic the NY party!!! ;) Would love to help!!!

  529. Madison says:

    @JamIrishSugar: “I’m also 6ft tall ”

    That’s your problem right there, honey. Most guys feel uncomfortable being around a taller woman. The average guy is about 5’10, so… your perfect match would be a guy who is at least 6’3… which is VERY rare. My Papa is 6’3 and when we go out to places he is usually the tallest man in the room.

  530. Maria says:

    I have a question for all SD out there do you mind if a SB has a disability or wolud you look pass that im looking for a SD inthe LA that can look beyond my disability

  531. Maria says:

    [img]http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=202668046521723&set=a.116023741852821.16687.100003355864305&type=3&theater[/img]

    I have a question for all SD out there do you mind if a SB has a disability or wolud you look pass that im looking for a SD in the LA area that can look beyond my disability

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