2 years ago
The Top 5 Benefits of Being a Sugar Baby
  • Posted Jul 20, 2012
  • Views 8069
  • Written by Leroy

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1.) Financial Stability

There’s nothing more stressful than always being in the red. It’s a common misconception that all Sugar Babies want extravagant luxuries. In actuality, the majority would just like a life with little to worry about. Finding the right Sugar Daddy on the Seeking Arrangement dating site means that a life with the burdens of bills and expenses will be a thing of the past.

Top 5 Benefits of Being a Sugar Baby

2.) Experience the World

He can show you the world—Paris, London, New York, you name it. A Sugar Daddy is much more than a financial benefactor. He is your worldly mentor. The one who will not only show you the riches of the world, but also open your eyes to its sights, sound, tastes and smells. Above all, he will nurture you into a more cultured and sophisticated woman.

3.) Relationship Maturity

Jealousy is an ugly trait and immaturity no different. Both come hand in hand, especially in the inexperienced minds of young daters. A Sugar Daddy is neither. Being with a Sugar Daddy is the true definition of a mutually beneficial relationship. None of the pout or bite—unless you’re into that kind of thing.

4.) Career Opportunities

He knows everyone in the room: country clubs, restaurants, events, you name it. A Sugar Daddy is well connected and always eager to introduce you. Even if the sugar disappears and you decide to part ways, the memory and gifts will always be a sweet reminder. Connections are the greatest gift a Sugar Daddy will give his baby. After all, it isn’t what you know, but who you know.

5.) Get Treated Like a Princess

Every woman wants to be pampered. Why else do women spend endless amounts on salons, massages and manicures? And that doesn’t even include retail therapy. Though some women could care less about Prada, Gucci, or Lanvin, they will always appreciate a luxurious spa treatment, salon experience and a decadent meal. A Sugar Daddy doesn’t pamper his baby for no reason. He appreciates how hard she works and knows what she deserves.

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737 Responses to “The Top 5 Benefits of Being a Sugar Baby”

  1. Leroy Velasquez says:

    All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

  2. SSC says:

    This post was much more eloquently written than the “Top 5 Benefits of Being a Sugar Daddy” was.

  3. KatieBaby says:

    Love this list :) Being pampered is my thing.

  4. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Oh…as an aside….why doesn’t SA accept PayPal? I wanted to upgrade my profile but I don’t use credit cards. Boo!

  5. Anna Molly says:

    BEB ~ I’m not sure? The only thing I can suggest is to get one of those Green Dot cards. You can preload them with any amount I believe or if you have an ATM with a Visa or other logo, you can use that too. :)

    Also, PayPal has an option where you can sign up for a paypal debit card with Visa or MC logo on it and use that. :)

    Hope this helps!

  6. Naughty Molly/Anna Molly says:

    Top five Benefits?

    Well, let’s see…

    1) Companionship

    2) Experiencing places and things I never have before

    3) Finding a true mentor and friend

    4) Feeling like I’m the most special person in the world

    5) AMAZING SEX! ;)

    Not necessarily in that order…lol! :D

  7. SassyInMass says:

    I like this entry much more than the last. Glad to see SA emphasizing the advantages of a well connected s.daddy!

  8. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @AM – I don’t think we have those types of cards in Canada. I’ll look into it further though. Thanks for your help :-)

  9. Miss D says:

    Hello BEB, fellow Canadian,yes we do have preload cards. I don’t know what part of Canada your living, but in TO you just put money into a re loadable credit card.

  10. Naughty Molly says:

    Well! I posted my top 5 but it disapearded…LOL,

    1.) companionship

    2.) Experiencing things and places I never have before

    3.) Finding a true mentor

    4.) Feeling like the most special woman in the world

    5.) GREAT SEX!! :D

    Not necessarily in that order..lol :D

  11. SassyInMass says:

    My post disappeared too. I liked this entry much more than the last. Glad to see SA emphasizing the advantages of a well connected SD! Many arrangements are discreet and its important to remind SBabies of all the doors a well placed SD can unlock

  12. WCSD says:

    @BlueEyed – yes these do exist in Canada. There are many websites that compare them within canada too. (canadiancard dot ca/prepaid-credit-cards dot html) is an example, but you can Google many. This is an easy way for a SD to provide their allowance too (just load your card). Be wary of which one…sometimes those fees can add up!

  13. babydoll says:

    hello sugar babies xxx

    i agree, i know lots of sugar daddies specially in america are rolling with money,
    in London though men are not apparently or even if they are they are not so upfront in spreading their cash. also,many ,illionnaires in the United Kingdom as of the stories i heard from fellow London Sb’s are too stingy to part with their wealth haha!!!

    But there are men who are just hardworking with extra money to spare and are happy to make sure they make their Sb’s time worthwhile and treated no less than a millionnaire Sd would treat their Sb’s-sometimes even better infact. i know because my Sd is not a millionnaire and has not a lot of cash to spend BUT i work too so i dont rely on his money alone. We are together a year next month!!! also,from the start he never begs off giving me what we agreed every month,was happy to plan my future (get a mortgage for me when we are ready for it,fees for a course i wanted,support me with things in everything,help me attain my goals also he is my best friend.

    i know there are a lot of sb’s here who have been lucky too but not all.
    i know i was lucky when we met as it is both our first time to have this type of arrrangement-and Sugarbowl.
    Although he is married,we never had issues about it i never ask him his personal life and i consider my life with him separate from other relationships he/i have.
    i read some new Sb’scomments on Sd’s who are married and some judge harshly,why they are here if they are married etc etc…

    well,its the same for Sb’s a lot fo us are single moms AND we are here!!! so lets be careful what we say to others,after all we all make our own arrangements and each of them are unique and tailored to what is acceptable to all of us.

    the benefits we get from our Sd’s depend on how we want our lives to be,
    either benefit to make us more successful in future or just rely on the money and do nothing.for those who get the money and has no intention of using it to make a future for themselves,i think it will he a harsh reality speially to those new who think that its all about just the money!

    i read here also that the more expirienced Sb’s say that we should have goals, which is quite true,i know because if you just spend the money and expect to just keep getting it without doing anything to make a better life without it,the SD will get fed up or bored or just find another Sb who might be more exciting and more pro active.

    remember girls you maybe 19 or 22 now BUT you wont stay that young forever!!!

    happy Sd hunting to those who are still searching and have a sugary weekend to all xxxx

  14. VASD says:

    @Naughty Molly

    I’m pleased to see that you acknowledge the great sex possible in SD/SB relationships.–I sometimes sense that that’s avoided or tippy-toed around in these fora.
    As an SD I’m far from a Christian Grey provider (apologetically joked to an SB recently that my helicopter was in the shop and my support staff off on a much-needed break), but do try to provide companionship, a respectful level of support in line with what the SB has posted, experiences of nice restaurants, hotels, plays, concerts, occasional travel. But over the years (been doing the SD thing for over 10 years now) I’ve had a number of young ladies marvel at how fantastic our sex lives were together. Sure–perhaps some of that is them gently massaging my ego, but I’ve ad a couple of ladies get back in touch with me even years later and comment on it

  15. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @WCSD – Can an American SD load up a Canadian prepaid card? I know my SD couldn’t put money into my Canadian bank account. That’s why we went the Paypal route.

  16. TotalSugar says:

    Top 5 reasons a lady should be a sugar baby at some point in her life:

    1) Feel empowered.
    2) Own a Gucci bag without going in debt ( or feed your children, or pay for school etc etc)
    3) A chance to hang out with guys way above your social strata.
    4) Order Duck on mango salsa paired with a nice red wine with authority.
    5) Feel lucky of being good looking enough to have men give things to you just because is Tuesday.

    :)

  17. Naughty Molly says:

    It’s nice to see we’re on the same page! A relationship is a relationship and I couldn’t imagine being in one without great sex. I’m a WOMAN, I’m in my prime and I need satisfaction, so, great sex is apart of what I’m looking for!

    For me, I feel the only reason why people may tip-toe around it is the fact that a lot of younger women (I’m not trying to be mean or hostile) just aren’t ready for the raw, animalistic nature that we all possess! We need it, we want it and if we aren’t getting it at home, in our current relationship, then we will look elseware. Plain and simple. Now, I’m not saying that sex is all there is to a SB/SD relationship! It is a relationship. We need other factors to stimulate the sexual side of us. If we can recall a study saying that our brain is in fact the largest sex organ, then, we should realize that these kind of relationships need to be nurtured. We need other stiumlation besides our physical attributes! SB/SD relationships IMHO are just like any other. When you really look at them, men always pay in some form or fashion, women too! We all want to take care of our partner, if we feel that they are worth it. For me, I like EVERYTHING that comes with a SD/SB relationship and with the right person, a SD/SB can be even more fulfilling than a traditional bond. However, it’s just MHO and my feelings. Some may have a more business like approach or an apporach that’s less, “involved”, but, I WANT to be involved. I want to know what’s going on and how my guy feels, I want to listen to him vent about things and you want to know why? Because I care. Yes, I care. Am I in love? Maybe not. But, I do care about him as a person and how he feels. He takes care of me and damn it, I want to care about him. It would totally suck if I had to sit an listen to someone elses problems and not really give a shit about him as a person and only looked at him as a damn ATM Effing Machine. I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting my time with someone, I want to feel like I’m actually enriching mine and someone elses life and making it better because he is there and THE SEX makes it even BETTER!!! I couldn’t imagine being in relationship without sex. WTF? Are you kidding? I want to look across the table and think “damn! I can’t wait to get him back to the room tonight!” Can you imagine feeling the opposite? I couldn’t. :)

  18. VASD says:

    Absolutely, and thanks for the follow up, Ms. Naughty.

    And glad that you mentioned the “EVERYTHING”, because the absolute best situations I’ve had have bee. the complete package–fun, intellectually stimulating, physically mind-blowing.
    One of my very best situatios was with a young lady (23–I was 43 at the time) who was an Ivy League pre-med, sharp as all get out. She was also VERY conservative politically–I’m moderately liberal. We’d get into these HEATED political arguments…and then go *#$% each other’s brains out. She also had a fiance, by the way, but evidently I was hittin’ something he wasn’t.

  19. Naughty Molly says:

    VASD ~ I guess I went off on a little bit of a ramble, but, I agree. What is the point of being in a “relationship” if there is NO sex involved! Maybe it’s my age (36) but, if I’m going to be in a realtionship with someone, damnit, I want to have sex! Not just good sex…the kind of sex that you think about when you can’t sleep at night. The kind of sex you dream about! Animalistic, crazy, sweaty, hot, steamy and down right dirty….that’s what I want.

    To me, there is nothing better than going out with a guy you really like. You have amazing conversations, maybe go to a museum, just hang out and talk. have a nice dinner with great wine and then go back to his room and just totally devour each outher.

    As long as there is an agreement in place, you really like each other and everthing clicks….why hold back? I never really understood it…

    I could keep going, but, they would probably have to delet my posts…lol :D

  20. babydoll says:

    @ Naughty Molly/VASD

    yes, having all and fantastic sex on top is really good!!!

    VASD~you dont have a Christian Grey at all,you just need to be you!!! and also,beiing very considrate in bed is a big plus…i cant imagine my relationship lasting wth someone who isnt,sugar or no sugar i think :P

    @naughty molly~i share your good intenion of caring about my Sd’s feelings…i want him to feel that when he leaves our bed ,he cant wait to come back sooner rather than later!!
    but the only difference is that we have fallen inlove :)

  21. SassyInMass says:

    Well said Molly, I completely agree! It can be difficult to describe the caring part without the iloveyou part, but you did it beautifully. I may not want to change my life/home situation but I do want a mutually caring relationship within my arrangement. And amen amen amen abt the great sex! I want to be seduced and devoured! Is that so much to ask for?! And no matter abt ED issues, thats no excuse- you can be orally skilled and grt with your hands! :D

  22. SassyInMass says:

    An aside- my comments are waiting mod, while others seem instant. Is this a premium feature? Is there something I need to do to establish myself on the SA blog? Thanks in advance and sorry for the interruption in the discussion

  23. VASD says:

    @babydoll

    LOVE not necessary, but nice to have genuine mutual affection, apprecaition, respect and…errrr…appetite.

  24. Naughty Molly says:

    VASD ~ That’s awesome! Isn’t it amazing when you finally “connect” with someone on all levels? I love it and it makes the sex even better! Kinda’ like make up sex….lol! :D

    You know, if you’ve fallen in love with youre SD/SB then great! I have no issue with falling in love. I’m not like most, If you fall in love, you fall in love. You can’t help it. You’re human and have feelings. Who am I to say that you shouldn’t? Just because a website says you shouldn’t doesn’t mean that you won’t. Right?! However, I’m not saying that just because you have sex with someone you should be in love…that’s far from the turth! I just feel that sometimes the site (SA) tries to deter people from having feelings for one another and if they end up having those feelings then you should call it off. IMHO, it’s stupid. You can’t help how you feel, and, if you happen to have feelings for someone then so be it, but, you have to have boundries! :)

  25. WCSD says:

    @BlueEyed – I don’t know if Americans can fill a Canadian prepaid card, but I guess my question would be why would they need to? If you find an American SD, then have him get the prepaid cc from there, and send it up to you…and he can fill it whenever he pleases. I’ve done that with an American SB (give them a Canadian prepaid CC and just refill as needed).

    Again, the thing you need to be wary of are the fees. Some (most) have a monthly fee, some even have a transaction fee, so it can eat into the amount on your prepaid. But, if you don’t have a credit card and need it to do things, then it may be an option that you need.

    @NM – Hi, and quit turning us all on here!

  26. Naughty Molly says:

    WCSD! Oh, what do you mean! I’m not doing anything…I’m innocent, really, I am! ;)

  27. Jack says:

    Naughty Molly,

    Sounds like you already have an SD.

    Do you have any friends that think the way you do? I like how you think and express yourself!

    Jack

  28. James Crawford says:

    Molly what’s got into you girl, you’re steaming! You’re driving me crazy with all that naughty talk! Someone needs a spanking, and I don’t mean later, missy …

  29. gtt_envy says:

    Kudos to all here who have found that “mind blowing sex” component. I have always found the intellectual, talk, chit chat, have fun part easy easy it’s the physical part that never seems to be hitting on all cylinders. It’s not bad, but it’s not nearly as good as IRL relationships!

    Maybe I need that emotional bond that a IRL relationship provides…. I haven’t figured that part out yet!! Or maybe I just haven’t found the right SB ;)

    Best of luck to all in sugarbowl.

  30. Anna Molly says:

    I could use a good spanking, I’m over due! I’ve been a very bad girl ;)

  31. Anna Molly says:

    Ahhh, mind blowing sex! Nothing better than that. :)

    Jack- I’m sorry, but I have no one to introduce you to! It’s just me, myself and I. :)

  32. liz says:

    great sex is all i ask for aside from $..lol

  33. Chantay says:

    I was absolutely terrified at the thought of “succumbing” to a relationship with a Sugar Daddy. The way I saw it, the whole process was akin to prostitution. In the meantime, I would continue to date guys who were FAR from men in their actions (and words)—guys who I foolishly pampered and damn near worshipped just because that’s who I am; while being sure to take care of myself and my immediate needs, I wrap my world around my man without smothering him.

    These guys were living the high life, and I felt drained, unhappy…unfulfilled. They got lazy, and just started to EXPECT love and devotion from me, and I found myself withdrawing from the whole dating scene, and running from relationships.

    A friend who had great success with this site (she’s about to marry a long-time Sugar Daddy she met here!) suggested the site to me. I started to shake my head with a worried expression, and she took my hand and reminded me of the ex’s that I had catered to, and fawned over who adored how well they were being treated, but didn’t give me the same warmth and comfort in return.

    She advised me to join, look around, and go slow—look for profiles that matched up with my interests and what I was looking for (being sure to stay away from profiles that list things such as “hot women”, “orgies”, “jet skiing”, “travel on demand”, “must always dress up”, “MUST always ANYTHING”, and of course any profiles that discriminated against ethnicity, age, or weight—and reach out to any man who seemed to be looking for something more than a plastic Barbie with less than three brain cells to rub together.

    I’ve spoken to a few men on the site, nothing serious, but that’s alright—I know the right man exists on here for me and I don’t mind if the game players and time-wasters weed themselves out.

    I definitely loved the article above—I do believe that a Sugar Daddy can teach his Baby a lot: a lot about life, a lot of about love, and most importantly a lot about herself.

    Hopefully I meet my match soon :)

  34. A X says:

    agree with ‘babydoll’ men in London seem to be really tight & not get the SD concept!

  35. A X says:

    @TotalSugar VERY good reasons lol

  36. isabelle says:

    WOW molly
    your on a roll and ive got to say your right,but Ive got to say that younger sugar babes like myself like infact LOVE sex, we dont talk about it because we want to see if a potential SD is a true gentleman and not a horny guy look for a night arrangement..if you get my drift.For me personally its all about attraction, if i find a SD sexually attractive..hell yer I would definately jump on him.lol

  37. Renee says:

    I haven’t had much luck…I got a expensive bathing suit and 40 bucks for gas….Not what I am looking for (sorry if you read this buddy!) He wanted sex after three days. we didnt even talk about the “arrangement” he told he wasnt looking for that….(liar, Liar)

  38. travelersb says:

    @blueEyed
    I had that problem with my ex sd : he couldn’t fill a prepaid credit card from the US. That was really complicated to have a cc. In the end, he just ended up makin transferts in my account.

  39. Star Dust says:

    If anyone expects me to put out in order to receive an allowance, they can keep walking. I dont have issues in having great sex. I am needing mental and emotional uplifting.

  40. NYDULCE says:

    @Molly
    I find it harder to get older men to drop their boxers lol. It’s harder to get a rich man into bed. I’ve had SDs say no to me insisting that sex not be part of the arrangement. I have a few theories on this… One guy told me he was scared I’d try to get pregnant and take him for all he has .Wth?!
    Anyway regardless of the many reasons that can explain I’ve yet to experience sex with an SD.Thats ok. Cuz I finally found my “Mr.Fixit” to take care of my leaky faucet ;)

  41. Total Sugar says:

    “I can’t wait to get him back to the room tonight!”

    Hard to feel that way about a sugar daddy who is usually old, with very feel hair on top their head and with a beer belly…. Finding a sugar daddy who is truly attractive is the million dollar ticket. Literally.

  42. NYDULCE says:

    So I got a SD. A plumber to lay down the pipe and a husband to adore me and bore me to tears… A Black Guy,a Puerto Rican and a Jew.
    I’m international baby!
    All I need is a European. maybe Italian. Yum I love Italian Sausages :)

  43. Total Sugar says:

    A truly attractive sugar daddy… hate to say it … already has a line of women at his door. The same for a truly attractive sugar baby : she has a line of men at her door. Too bad most men at my door are broke. LOL LOL and the rich ones are ugly. The world is not perfect, oh well.

  44. Total Sugar says:

    NYDULCE: You go girl LOL LOL

  45. Manuel says:

    I haven’t found much yet only people talking big but never follow through, pretty disheartening but oh well…

  46. HoneyBee says:

    I love this article. It gives new sugars and sugars still looking some hope. I can’t wait til the day I can have all that and more. Something genuine, honest, fulfilling, and real. Some mind-blowing sex would definitely add the cherry on my sundae. 8-).. But hey…I learned a long time ago…Patience is a virtue…and I will wait as long as it takes me while still taking care of me. 8-)…

    @ALL Successful Sugas thanks for coming here and giving us something to feel for. Congratulatoins and keep up the good work!

  47. babydoll says:

    happy saturday morning beauiful Sugars :)))

    finally sun is here in London !!! still feeling tired from salsa last night but will have to get up early and chase the sun before it goes again haha!!!

    To all Sugarbabies~for those who are still searching,i hope you all come here with an open mind,enough caution,heart and confidence.

    i know friends who have been looking for ages,never got anywhere and some who never had to wait like me for a long time,infact i only signed up and was snapped in 3 days! but it doesnt mean that it will be same for all of us. in the former blogs it was discussed how long to wait for a pot Sd, in the beginning i thought that maybe i wait 12months if it will happen it will,but then if it wont,thats fine i will keep myslf afloat with what work i do.but i never had the chance to feel disheartened by it all or disillussioned like some of my friends who havent met the right SD so to be honest i odnt knwo how it feels to wait or explain how it feels to keep looking. but all i can say is,probably better to be positive rather than negative,in the meantime for those who are still waiting why not make yourselves busy with other things while waiting around, and it is also important not to think theres somehing wrong with you just because there are no interest on your profile or such,it is just because the Sd you maight want just havent come across your profile or your profile migh need some adjustments.

    Love~ please dont get me wrong,but this has been discussed hundred times in past blogs,some blog friends warn of the feeling of falling inlove,they are right because this is not the site for that BUT like them i wasnt looking for love too IT JUST HAPPENED.we certainly didnt plan it,we actually have specifically made arrangements to avoid it!!! but yeah, we just fell inlove. Lucky? maybe.Sensible? No. also,you would have to be very strong and know what you want and know where you stand in your Sd’s life AT ALL TIMES.specially if he is a married Sd. Also,you should both protect YOU in case this happens, FINANCIALLY,PHYSICALLY,EMOTIONALLY. falling inlove with an Sd is either the end of the arrangement or the start of something beautiful,also,it could be worked around it.but for the the SD’s and Sb’s it doesnt mean havig feelings of love for each other gives any of you the right to become doormats!!! Remember, love or no love SUGAR should be provided.

    SEX~ i know girls it is so difficult to get allowance and get great sex with onne person and sometimes soem dont even want sex! but hey,if the Daddy is happy to pay you for your conversations,then make sure you are ready for that,if he is paying you for intimacy then make sure you are the best one he will ever have,if he is paying you to take you shopping then be happy for it,travel?make sure you are able to.what the heck,i knwo an Sb who gets a weekly allowace just because the Sdwants to feel he is helping someone out!!! no sex,twice a month dinner and she gets the allowance weekly! lol. i know it is just all ab out what you want and getting the right Sd?Sb who feels the same. but please dont feel that sex is ridiculous to ask by a pot Sd ,after all it is part of the attraction,butit doesnt mean that you are a bad person to accept it or the Sd to ask.i you dont want it,say no and move to the next pot,but dont be surprised if it will be a long wait as a lot of Sd’s want this type of arrangement.

    NSA~ no strings attached.i never completely understood this,as i was one of those Sugarbabies who are up with the fairies…hahah ;) i am a complete romantic,i love ot love and be loved.but this is probably the best way to come into Sugarworld,as it is a site for mutual benefits feelings considered btu it is more sensible not to expect LOVE.otherwise,we will all be running crying to SD GURU all the time and he woul have to spend everyday trying to sooth us all damsel in distress. haha!!!

    Ladies,as much as i love to say love is everywhere,it is nto always the case so,please it is wiser to think and make sure what you want before searching or accepting to avoid tears in the end.and if tears were inevitable,pt it down to experience and quickly pick up yourselves and move on,don tlook back. consider yourself lucky cos there is another day to make yourself beautiful for the next pot Sd ;)

    have to go,i hope you all have a sugary weekend kisses to all xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  48. HotDanny says:

    hey you guys im a new member and as im scoping out the scenery i kinda like and can grow to love what i see. i can not wait to get noticed and hopefully find a great gentleman that can be able to be my sd. :)

  49. flyr says:

    @Babydoll “SEX~ i know girls it is so difficult to get allowance and get great sex with onne person ”

    Probably true if you buy into the house version of the SD want list. If you buy into that set of criteria Having it his way, control, SB’s as trinkets to show off, entitlement , need to display arrogance = you shouldn’t be surprised that you are treated as a repository rather than a partner. You need to find an SD with a different set of priorities.

    In contrast , the house proposed list of SB benefits (although still a little warped) provides a much better foundation for great sex. For both the SB and the sex life I would put the #1 payoff is to have someone who has a genuine care for your long and short term success and happiness.

    Certainly the financial is the foundation of the concept, but without the underlying desire to be a positive influence the money is likely to be fleeting and “earned ” without joy.

    There’s no reason that you and your SD should not share the best sex of your life if you understand your wants and needs and search, choose and manage accordingly.

  50. TotalSugar says:

    I talked to a SD on the phone last night. He is a lawyer in the city, makes good money, handsome etc etc. When we got to the allowance part ( after 45 mins into the conversation), he got defensive. He was like,”why should I pay for sex if I can get it for free”. No, I didn’t hang up the phone on his face. Instead, I told him ” well, perhaps the reason you are here on this site is because you know you don’t want an escort but you also know don’t want a girl trying to marry you”. He agreed with me. But in the end, he was evasive about the allowance, so I told him to call me some other time while he thinks this through.

    I’m thinking that getting an allowance from a handsome guy is mission impossible. Am I alone on this?

  51. flyr says:

    @total sugar

    Of course the attorney would be outraged is someone came to his office as a potential client, milked his brain for knowledge and then announced that he did not plan to hire an attorney.

    Attorneys also (as a general rule) live in mortal fear that they have not extracted the last penny from a deal.

    It gets them and their clients in trouble.

    “allowance from handsome guy mission impossible” infatuation solves
    Look at John Edwards

  52. babydoll says:

    @flyer~ well in a perfect world we would ultimately want everything that is on our wishlists of things to make an arrangement work,but sadly,not everyone has the same wavelength when it comes to expectations.thats why it is so important that both parties are willing to compromise on a lot of things. i may want the best sex with an Sd but he may not be the right person who can ‘push all the right buttons’ as they call it.but what if this person is considerate in all other things too? financial etc etc? would i just walk away just because he cant be the sex god as i hoped he would be? i would probably let it go and enjoy his company anyway.or what about Sd’s who have conditions that wont let them be the best they can in bed even if they tried?some sb’s would probably move on from this man if they find out he has issues with things sexually although not entirely his fault.what about the Sd’s who are great inbed but obnoxious in other ways?or good looking men who dodge responsibilities just because they are good in bed AND good looking??some Sb’s may want to try this type of Sd because of the physical side of things even if they know they are being used as doormats.but if it was me,i wont go for that type of Sd if i wanted just great sex and god looking men there are a bucket loads of those losers in real life! they are a penny bucket.

    i got fed up with this type of men thats the reason i tried being a Sugarbaby.but i didnt come into it with rose tinted glasses on. I know there are more to it than what is being advertised on sites like SA. it is quite true what benfits i get from being a Sugarbaby, i dont have to worry about bills,shopping etc. but i just got lucky as i am with a goodlooking Sd, and we adore eah other a lot.as VAMAN said, Love not necessary,but sorry we have already crossed that line,we are now more than Sugar but he still provies me with Sugar.
    and he is fantastic in bed!!!it made us laugh to read 50 shades as we have been sort of in that type of arrangement~not the money though and he is not a billionnaire.
    this is what i get from my partner~Sd

    Allowance
    Shopping
    Nights out/theater/cinema/clubbing/hotelstays
    Travel
    Days out
    all the LOVE and affection that i want!
    future plans:payments for a short course and a start up for a smallbusiness for me
    probably a mortgage for a studio.

    take note: my Sd is not a millionnaire but he has a good job,but he is still happy to provide for me.
    so,ladies what you see on the profiles of diamond Sd’s or millionnaire incomes doesnt actually mean they will share their millions to you or they are fantastic in bed or the right character you look for. so it is a lot of patience,confidence and common sense to find the right Sd

    @TotalSugar~ well he is on the wrong site actually, why would he want to be a Sugardaddy if he doesnt want to provide sugar? he should be at a match.com or similar sites that provide the typeof relationship that he wants.makes me laugh that he is a lawyer so he must be smart enough to read that this is a Sugardaddy site that provides benefits ~financial benefits for you that will come out from his pocket! or some other arrangement that may equal to what you want.instead of giving you money straight out,maybe he can offer to pay your rent,pay a course,some bills or a car????? but for him to say he wont want to offer anything is laughable! you were so good to behave like a lady and told him to have a think aboout it lol. but even if he change his mind,i think he will offe you something ,grudgingly. i wont want to have anythng to do with that :P

  53. Tatiana says:

    @TotalSugar

    In my opinion, getting a GOOD allowance from a handsome SD seems to be impossible. They are usually very cocky (like the one you described) & fail to fully grasp ALL of the benefits of a sugar relationship.

  54. Chocolatebunny says:

    I totally agree with you baby doll. I haven’t found the right SD yet but I know he’s out there! #Patienceisvirtue

    I’ll be going to New York next tuesday, what are good upscale places to visit while out there?

    Profile ##1082526

    Ciaoo

  55. Anna Molly says:

    Chocolatebunny – I really enjoy going to the 21 Club for dinner and drinks. Yummy!! :)

  56. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @ Jack – I think like Naught Molly ;-)

  57. TotalSugar says:

    I think some guys are on this site are here just to waste precious our time. Like the lawyer I mentioned earlier for example. They act like this is match.com, expect us to go out with them like is match.com but they love that we look like ford models (or kinda close to). I mean, I’ve been on match too. Nothing wrong there. The guys there are actually not much different than the ones on here, except on this site, they can give us allowances. Guys on match also expect ford model looks, they don’t like if you have kids or if you have any other baggage and of course, they expect sex on the second or third date. So, might as well be here and get some financial help. Or at least try to. LOL

  58. TotalSugar says:

    Is anyone else going to the other sugar party on the 30th here in NYC?

  59. Beautiful says:

    1.Showing me the world
    2.Someone to Mentor me
    3.To be treated like the Queen I am
    4.To show me every part of the world
    5.To enjoy pampering me

    Most of all to have great Sex

  60. NYDULCE says:

    @ Total Sugar
    Wait What?! There’s gonna be a party please forward details! Would love to meet other hoooot fun sugars like myself:)
    Chocolate Bunny why tell you when I can show you…NYC Sugar Tour anyone?

  61. NYDULCE says:

    @ Total Sugar…
    Wish I could share all the XXXclusive details but it’s not that kind of Blog. Lol
    I’m sure you other girls are getting sum good booty too! I know your not waiting for an “the perfect” SD to get it .
    Dont know if I said this before…
    But Guys!!! Men! SDs !
    A little Rogaine ? A couple of sit ups? Hire a personal trainer?
    You’ll look younger,hotter And add Years to your life!
    You Haaave Sooo much $cash$ you can afford to look good. Where us (in some cases) have to scrape up money or work around a budget to look like a million dollars!

  62. HoneyBee says:

    My ex SD was so damn fine I wanted to sex him on site. When we did have sex that was my first time in a while biting my bottom lip! There was enough sweat and… to water the grass, but anywho. That comes with built up tension and true patience. He waited for me to be ready without doing any less than what was agreed upon. When I seen my damsel in distress i knew it was the perfect time to thank him and me!

    I want to party! (in my Beyonce)voice

  63. Chantay says:

    I’m searching for info on a NYC party anytime soon, but coming up with nothing–is this confirmed? If so, can you share the source (link)?

  64. Chocolatebunny says:

    Bouna Sera!

    @ Molly , I definitely take a visit there.
    @NY, Actions speaks louder than words! I’m ready to paint the city red :-)

    Ciao

  65. travelersb says:

    It’s funny! I am browsing others sugar babys profiles and I have notice that the sexier are the older sb ( over 25). I am 24 and I think the reals, sane, intelligents sugar daddys will be more attracted to those older women. the young one are super cute but they don’t express as much sensuality and sex appeal as the more experienced girls. That’s just the impression I have though

  66. Midwest SB says:

    Hey sugars! Steamy times on the blog…Love it!

    Just a little note for our new posters. We don’t have many rules here, but the general goal of the blog is to help mentor those new to sugar. This can range from profile advice to setting up your first arrangement. In order to maintain blog integrity, posts that read like a classifieds ad will be removed. Also realize that posts with hyperlinks and e-mail addresses are automatically filtered by the program and pend approval.

    If you wish to be in touch with someone specific on the blog, please post a comment to the “blog gods” (we don’t take ourselves quite THAT seriously) and if it is mutual, we will do an e-mail exchange offline. If you wish to market yourself to the many SDs, please use your search preferences from your profile and contact the man of your dreams! Happy hunting!

  67. Jack says:

    travelersb said:

    “It’s funny! I am browsing others sugar babys profiles and I have notice that the sexier are the older sb ( over 25). I am 24 and I think the reals, sane, intelligents sugar daddys will be more attracted to those older women. the young one are super cute but they don’t express as much sensuality and sex appeal as the more experienced girls. That’s just the impression I have though”

    Based on my two months on this site, and based on conversations and meetings with approx 15 pot SB’s so far, I must say I agree. I do not want to make a rule of it, and I will not automatically exclude a younger pot SB solely based on age, but none of the 5 or 6 SB’s under 25 whom I have met or spoekn with has been of any interest to me, although they were all quite attractive. I KNOW there are sub-25-year-olds out there who have it all together–I just haven’t come across them yet!

    Jack

  68. OregonSB says:

    I 100% agree with 1-5. Still haven’t found what I’m looking for though.

  69. travelersb says:

    @ Jack
    The competition is going to be hard for us younger sbs! That’s fine with me… I like challenges. I also like to share. However, I will be 25 soon, maybe I will have it all by then :)

  70. flyr says:

    travelersb said:

    “It’s funny! I am browsing others sugar babys profiles and I have notice that the sexier are the older sb ( over 25). I am 24 and I think the reals, sane, intelligents sugar daddys will be more attracted to those older women. the young one are super cute but they don’t express as much sensuality and sex appeal as the more experienced girls. That’s just the impression I have though”

    I believe it’s also a matter of SD priorities and attitude that affect the selection. If the focus is on arm candy to take clubbing the younger ones may get the call. However, when the SD is looking for brain and sensual candy they’re better off looking at 25 as the very minimum floor.

    Yes there are young women who are very intelligent and enthusiastic and technically very proficient lovers. However, there’s generally a magical fusion of the intellectual, sexual and sensual that happens in later years.

  71. Naughty Molly says:

    Good morning everyone! :)

    Great conversations BTW! I have nothing to add because I’m still half asleep and haven’t finished my first cup of coffee. :)

  72. Total Sugar says:

    NYDULCE: Not sure if we are allowed to talk about the other sugar party here but it’s going to be somewhere at the sutton place in midtown on the 30th. Not sure if I’m going to be able to go though. Anyways, I went out last night with a new SD, we went to a rooftop bar on 5h ave. It was amazing. He is 20 yrs older than me but takes care of himself very well. He’s very much married though, which makes me a little uncomfortable…. but he brought me rock candy from Cape Cod, I thought it was so adorable!! :):)

  73. Naughty Molly says:

    It takes a while to find the right person so don’t give up! :)

  74. Bree says:

    Wonderful blog post. I agree with many others here too that it’s better than the benefits of being a SD post. But I may be bias because I’m a SB :) lol

  75. Bree says:

    Also, it’s my first time commenting on the blog so *waving* hello everyone! I used to comment regularly on the blog like 3-4 years ago. If anyone has time to look at my profile, I’d welcome the advice/suggestions/concerns/comments!

    Thank you so much!

    ~Bree
    1053486

  76. Jack says:

    Unlike Flyr, I do not rule out all sub-25-year-olds, although it is a needle-in-the-haystack search.

    The fact that you recognize this issue, Traveler, means you are way ahead of the pack even if you haven’t hit the magical 2-5.

    And note that being older than 30 (or 40) is no guarantee or either intelligence, maturity or sensuality. At the end of the day, it is who you are, not your age.

    And as a 55-year-old guy, I realize this is true for SD’s just as it is for SB’s, although at opposite ends of the age spectrum.

    There are some very young-acting older SD’s just as there are some very old-thinking younger SD’s.

    Jack

  77. Total Sugar says:

    Just saw this profile and I just can’t resist to meet his character, regardless of how much he is offering or what he looks like. Anyone who writes like this, deserves to have a drink with me. I’ll even pay for the drinks… LOL

    “Let me serenade you in intricate detail about just what a gorgeous, radiant creature you are. ( Knee pads with the official Presidential seal will be provided.) But, please understand, I don’t just want a lover, I want a coconspirator–preferably with no outstanding warrants and an elegant collection of sex toys…. Please: no dice-rollers, liars, or compulsive jaywalkers. Must be willing to lose at chess”.

  78. Chantay says:

    I’ve only been on the site for a little under a month, but I have taken my time going through profiles and reading all that the SDs have to say.

    There seems to be general classifications for each of them, four to be exact:

    1) The dotcom youngin’ (usually under 30), whose profile pic is of him holding a beer in one hand, wearing the classic smirk and bedroom eyes, with his arm around girls whose faces have been scribbled over with Paintshop. He may or may not have bothered to write more than a sentence or two to describe himself, or what he’s looking for, and if he has it’s usually something along the lines of, “must be hot, if you have to ask if you’re hot you’re probably not. I like my women like I like my cars—fast and hot. Did I mention you must be hot? No? Oh, okay, well then you must be hot. There.” I click [X] so fast. I can’t imagine a date with a guy like that—Jesus the horrible conversations about all he’s using to overcompensate for his lack of intelligence, and probable lack of sexual skills. I also can’t imagine these guys being long-term SDs. I can see them using women as flavors of the month…actually more so flavors of the week or day; I just see these guys as ADD adverts, completely unable to focus on any one SB (forget about him remembering your name!) I’m glad they don’t hide their personality flaws in their profiles though—would be a shame to trek out to meet them and find this out in person.

    2) The young adult still holding fast to his kegger days (usually between 30 and 40). Picture of him with skydiving gear, giving you the thumbs up as he jumps from a plane. He’s not as crass with his short paragraph on his profile as SD#1, but if you read between the lines well enough you can see he’s not really that far from SD #1. Still bragging about his “toys”, still giving off a vibe of overcompensation for very important things he’s hoping you won’t notice because he’s a daredevil (See? Look at me flying into the great blue in my profile pic! I’m the Steve Irwin of the sky!) Another [X] factor for me, as I really can’t imagine sitting across from him at the dinner table either, talking about how he’s wrestling sharks in his spare time, and all about the models he’s dated.

    3) The middle-aged guy (40 to 50) who seems to have settled down a bit, but is still trying to kick sand in the devil’s eye (profile pic of him leaning against a sports car, or a motorcycle). Probably going through a bit of a mid-life crisis, and is looking to hold on to his youth by…ahem…sucking it out of a younger female, lol. Looking for a girl to keep him young, one who is set to travel on demand. Looking to impress his friends, so she always has to wear heels—even when she showers. [X]. He seems out of the woods of the first two guys, but really isn’t, and—once again, I cringe at the dinner conversations…

    4) The more mature gentleman (50 to 60) who has definitely settled down, and is usually pictured on a boat, shirt off, sunglasses on, drink in hand. He looks like he’s worked long hard years in order to enjoy that drink, may be out of shape and pretty much bald (what’s left is gray of course). Seems to speak a lot about enjoying life, and frequenting museums, Broadway shows, occasional travel to (insert island here), and how generous he is. Then he ruins it all by stating things like “must be between ages __ and __, prefer blondes, thin please, Caucasian only, no out-of-towners”. Even if I fit into his categories, I’d not want to reach out to him; for one who claims to be so worldly, his close-minded demands say otherwise. I’m sure the dinner conversations would be filled with him wanting to hear how you’d please him (God help you if you speak about an allowance. God.help.you.), and how often you’d please him. [X]

    I’m still dreaming about the following:

    5) The man between ages 40 and 60 who is OUT of the kegger years, and doesn’t miss them. He has a really respectful picture of himself up—no blurred out faces of women on either side of him, booze in hand, beat up sharks nearby, or skydiving gear on. Sweet smile, charming profile title: “Still believe she’s out there”, or “Ready to discover love”…cheesy, I know, but still charming. Has no stated preferences, may even mention he’s met women from all walks of life and has realized that you can’t put a race/skin color/age/height/weight on a genuine connection. Speaks about himself and his likes, and genuinely wants to find a woman who has interests and dreams of her own. Says he understands what the site is about, is okay with an arrangement, but would love a relationship that could lead to more. He’s not offended by speaking about said arrangement—both what you are looking for as well as what he is looking for. He could care less about “arm candy” and travel-on-demand, he’s looking for something deeper than that.

    I know men like that exist on the site, but they must already have been snagged up by some very lucky SBs…

  79. mystery says:

    Loved the article I totally agree with it, I’ve been on here for a while but can’t seem to bring myself into meeting some of these men, I need some help, how do you guys become comfortable with meeting a total stranger out for dinner etc, like is there a way you guys can tell he’s not a creeper?besides the back round check?

  80. Total Sugar says:

    Chantay dear… we are all looking for that sexy 40-60 sexy daddy who is OK with a nice arrangement and not afraid of a relationship. When I came to this site, I thought it would be so easy to find one. Apparently, the types you just describe above are no doubt the ones populating the site. All of us SBs have our own needs, some more some less. After communicating with quite a few of SDs, I can say the ones who are willing to give generous allowances are arrogant and self centered; the ones who are handsome want a free lunch and the ones who are worthy of a relationship are usually married and have very little extra cash available. I don’t want to judge married people, but it is unsettling to be with someone who tell lies to the ones they love. If he lies to his wife I know he will lie to me at some point. Not complaining, just venting and this blog is a great help since this is not the type of talk I can have with my friends. :)

  81. travelersb says:

    I think it is important to keep an open mind and a high level of tolerance toward every body’s desires, needs and aspirations in the sugar bowl. After all, isn’t it what the sugar bowl is about? i.e. accepting that the rules of the traditional dating or relationships can be break. It’s also about accepting that what one is looking for can be superficial and short term. Live and let live…

    We all have preferences. Categorizing people and judging them on their preferences is probably not the perfect attitute to adopt in order to find the perfect sugar daddy.

    Experiencing differents things, differents relationships, differents types of men or women can also help us a lot in knowing our preferences.

  82. travelersb says:

    @ Chantay
    I would also like to disagree on your categories. from 20 to 70 years old, there are some guys who will simply never understand women and never make an effort for it. At least, on here, some are honest and admit that they don’t want to make an effort and only want the company of a sexy miss and they will provide a financial compensation for it.

    There is all kind of people on here and I would not even try to make categories. I feel like you have been a bit extreme in your description. From time to time there are some close minded mind who display their close mind in their profile, but in general they seem to have defined what they physicaly and intellectualy are looking for.

    I would finish by saying that the first impression can be wrong also. Sometimes you find out that someone who looks superficial or ignorant at the beginning is actually deep and sensitive. Once again, you can’t find that out if you don’t give that person a try.

  83. Chantay says:

    Hi, travelers,

    Actually, this line, “We all have preferences. Categorizing people and judging them on their preferences is probably not the perfect attitute to adopt in order to find the perfect sugar daddy” can apply to the SDs too. You may not see things from the SBs angle, but it’s the same on this side as well.

    If you have searched for SDs on the site, I’d be able to take your opinion into further consideration–but it seems you are speaking on behalf of what you feel SDs offer/think. It’s not the same in my eyes.

    I’ve been pleasantly surprised by men I did not think would be a good match for me (outside of this site) who were quite nice, and also by men who I thought would be wonderful who were anything but. Of course whenever the opportunity to take a chance on someone interesting comes up, I feel one should take it; they might not be Mr./Mrs. Right, but they could very well be a valuable lesson in either what you do or don’t want in a relationship.

    Please don’t get offended by my categories–as Total Sugar even said, she finds the guys mostly do fall into these categories. I made sure to note that I don’t believe ALL SDs on the site are 1-4, that I do believe there’s a 5, and I will add here that I think there are variations of 1+5, 2+5, etc.

    I don’t know if you’ve used the “search profiles similar to yours” feature, but I’m sure you’d be completely surprised by what you’d find if you did. A lot of SDs contradict what they are looking for, stating that their SB must look like A, B, C, and then stating that they are open-minded, and are looking for someone genuine, and looks don’t matter. It can be quite frustrating to any SBs who stumble across their page.

    You should use the search similar profiles feature. Maybe you’ll be able to see what I’ve spoken about in my previous post. Extremes they may be, but not too far off, unfortunately.

  84. travelersb says:

    I have use the ” search profiles similar to yours” very well. If you read one of my recent comment about older sbs, you will see that I did look at all what the offers are for the sds. I also have look at a LOT of sds profile. I am usinf this site since more than a year.

    I agree that it is sad that some men stick to their ”preferences” and don’t want to try anything new or different.

    I try to see both perspectives. The one from sbs and the one from sd’s. I am sorry if my tone wasn’t right in my previous post. I was just trying to tell you to stay positive and to focus on those closer to your number 5 and forget about the others.

    The other thing I was trying to say is that it is their right to display their preferences in their profile and they should not be judged about it. The same way that you should not be judged about the fact that you are interested in older men who have money ;)

  85. travelersb says:

    using* typo.

  86. travelersb says:

    by the way Chantay, I am a sb, not a sd

  87. travelersb says:

    @Jack
    your post doesn’t say if you are an young-acting sd or a older-thinker in the end. ? :)

  88. Chantay says:

    My apologies, travelers–you spoke as if you were a SD.

    To address the “attacking a man for having preferences”, not at all. As I said, I am happy they state what they are looking for, so as not to waste anyone else’s time.

    If you are looking for the negative in what I say, that is what you will find, no matter how well I explain it.

    I understand that the theme on this forum seems to be “smile, keep smiling, say positive things, don’t stop smiling”, but speaking as one of the site’s SBs, that’s not very helpful. I love seeing positive posts, but also learn from the venters as well. Sometimes seeing that someone else is experiencing the same frustrations I am calms me, and soothes my worries more so than the “always smile!” posts.

    I understand, and appreciate your trying to speak for both sides, but if someone wants to vent frustrations and feels attacked for having the gall, it’s not very helpful. Positive words and encouragement (which I did see you gave in the midst of your last reply, and I thank you for that) are wonderful, but if a vent is taken as negativity, or whining that’s not very positive either.

  89. travelersb says:

    Amen!

  90. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming” – Dory – Finding Nemo

  91. Total Sugar says:

    Blue Eyed Beauty ….LOL LOL that was too funny!! :):)

    BTW, I have a new date with a new potential on Thursday. 55 yo, single, wall street banker, not George Clooney, but distinguished enough. He agreed to my allowance request without a blink (!!!!!!!) and is already making international travel plans with me without even meeting me in person yet. Looks promising, will keep you guys posted. I’m very grounded and only believe it when I see it….

    Keep walking – Johnny Walker
    :):)

  92. travelersb says:

    TotalSugar, is it the guy you would have pay for the drinks to meet him?

  93. Plus Size Sugar Baby says:

    I like this blog!!! What’s being said in this blog is absolutely true!!!! I

  94. Jack says:

    travelersb, re your question as to whether I am a

    “young-acting sd or a older-thinker in the end”

    my cryptic answer is “both.”

    I am young-acting enough to be a lotta fun and yet enough of a thinker to be kind, considerate, follow the Golden rule and always do what I say I will do.

  95. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Jack!
    This sounds great.

    You have to change your nick name to Mr. Perfect . :)

  96. Veronica says:

    So, does the SB or SD dictate when to breech the intimacy wall? or is this by mutual consent? Are there SD that DO NOT EXPECT sex, or is this the premise behind ‘sugaring’? Thamks for answering a n00b question.

  97. Veronica says:

    @WestCoast: omg! have I just entered the tank? Where’s Mark Cuban, Daymond John, Robert Herjhavek, Lori Greiner, and Barbara Corcoran? We know Kevin O’Leary’s already here….

  98. Rose says:

    Hello Sugar Babies!

    This feed is on fire! I loved reading all of your post and was quite surprised on how much I related, agreed and/or reacted. I am fairly new to the Sugar Baby experience and I feel as though I am stuck. I am a 20 year old sugar baby with brains, class, and looking for a deeper connection. I am not looking for a certain appearance or age but just for a gentleman who shares my interest. I want a connection but it seems as though every Sugar Daddy I’ve come by is looking for the Barbie doll or at least someone who is not of my ethnicity. Are there any success stories out there for women of color? Have any of you fulfilled the 5 benefits of being a sugar baby? So far I have been desired for sex but not a companionship, I want more. Is it possible for an ethnic Sugar Baby to make it?

  99. SassyInMass says:

    Congrats NYDulce on your date with new sd and the cape rock candy score. Thats sweet. And congrats to TotalSug too, that sd sounds very promising. Hope you get to meetup soon. I thought that other profile was very charasmatic and funny. Esp the part abt co conspirator with no outstanding warrants :) thx for sharing, it made me smile

  100. Total Sugar says:

    Travelersb: No he is not that one. That writer SD was too complicated. I exchanged emails with him and turns out he is recovering from a lost sugar he had for 5 years. I’m not in the position where I have to deal with needy people. I want someone happy and upbeat, not someone who will be comparing me to the “old sugar”. She was a model from Turkey and this and that. I can’t live up to his expectations and also not feeling like baby sitting any emotionally unstable SD. This new one I found it yesterday online, we exchanged texts messages and hopefully he is not another one too needy…

  101. Total Sugar says:

    Anyone who is able to hold a sugar relationship for 5 freaking years….to me that is like a marriage. Way past sugar there….

  102. Chocolatebunny says:

    @ NYDULCE

    I’ll be coming to NYC tomorrow!! Are we still on with the Sugar tour? LOL

  103. fluffy says:

    helloooo no relevance buuuut how long until my picture is accepted i have 2 unread messages and itching to read them im soo excited =D x

  104. Justanerd says:

    I have been on this site for little over 2 weeks now and I am amazed at the large amount of people looking for a relationship. I won’t lie, I thought coming on this site I would be able to find a SB pretty easily, lol boy was I wrong.
    I did find out one thing pretty quickly, while I am over 40 and under 50, many of the young ladies here were not looking for my..profile type. No big deal, I was surprised at how many under 25 yr old I was not attracted to, oh well there goes one misconception. I feel for all the SB’s who are looking for that great relationship, this is much harder than it seems. I am nice guy who wants to meet a nice lady, so far I have been lucky in that I have talked to some nice ladies but no one has really “sparked” it for me, oh well the search continues…

  105. Naughty Molly says:

    Good morning everyone!! :D

  106. Naughty Molly says:

    The city is such a fun place!

    I went to a Gala at the Cloisters this past hoiday season…it was fantastic! :)

    You should go to the MMOA, get your hair done at MIZU and have drinks at the Oak Room inside the Plaza Hotel. :D

  107. Naughty Molly says:

    Oh!! And don’t forget to stop by Saks and Bergdorf Goodman.

    Last time I was at Saks, a store manager came running up to me and said “come with me!” She took me to a designer meet and greet! I couldn’t believe it! GOD! I wish I could remember his name, but, he was obviously a huge name in fashion. Sorry, I’m not “in the know” as far sd fashion goes, I just buy what I like, name brand or not..lol. There was champagne , hors d’oeuvres and she personally introduced me to him. I was so in shock, I didn’t know what to say! They had me try on clothes for him…it was very surreal! LOL :D

    The allure of the Big Apple is that you never know what or who you will encounter. I love it there! :D

  108. Naughty Molly says:

    *as* sorry for the typo.. :D

  109. Naughty Molly says:

    I must have SDs on the brain…LOL :D

  110. Total Sugar says:

    The city is the place to be, but is also brutal. Just got out of a phone interview for a job with Citi. Recruiter said he sent 20 resumes for this job. So, my resume is competing with 20 others for an interview and a crappy salary of 50K. Mind you…. 50K for NYC is equivalent to 10K any place else….

  111. flyr says:

    Woe is me………. wa wa wa

    If you compare finding an SD with finding a job in today’s world it looks pretty easy and a lot more fun.

    I think what a lot of SB’s are missing is that this is not the world of 2006 and looking back we were probably more optimistic in 2010 than today.

    You would not expect to find a job by posting your resume on a board and taking an attitude to interviews. Five years ago you might have expected lots of fringe benefits, today it’s a different deal. Even Wall Street guys are “suffering” in their eyes.

    I am sure there are some SD’s who believe they need to be pressured and punished beyond what their job, their home and the political cesspool around them provides but they are few and far between.

    The SD-SB relationship needs to be a stimulating escape, fun, something to look forward to.

    All this comes back to the profile as the original contact. You’ll seldom see an ad for a product with a face that is not smiling unless it is part of the message. The copy is positive and upbeat , targeted at a specific market and presented in the language of the person to whom it is targeted.

    A commercial to sell beer or McDonalds is very different from one to sell a fine wine or high quality restaurant. The typical McDonalds commercial with people talking while food is falling out of their mouths is a reminder why I avoid the place.

    A number of the successful SB’s have noted that your profile has to relate to your pot SD’s world and concept of desirability if you want to maximize the results.

    The SB generally occupies the space between a strictly economic relationship and calling the old reliable FWB who comes with an abundance of emotional baggage, but also resembles the energizer bunny.

    Being an SB is in some ways like going out for a competitive sport . Unless you are willing to make a strong commitment and accept the possibility that you will not make the squad you should be doing something else. If you make the effort and even if you do not find your perfect SD you are likely to come away from the process with some friends you would not have had .

    Rant off .

  112. Chocolatebunny says:

    @Naughty Molly I’ll defintely

  113. Naughty Molly says:

    When you go to the city, especially for a job, is like throwing yourself into a den of rabid wolves! I’m lucky I guess. I put up my resume on Monster about 1 1/2 years ago and found an awesome job there…(bookkeeping). I’m trying to get my catering biz off the ground so I’m quite busy!!!

    The place I work for was having hard times and was trying to find someone out of the city to help them out because it’s obviously cheaper due to the cost of living. Although, the people I work for take good care of me, my travel is paid for, my hotel…which is really a social club and all of my food. My pay starts as soon as I leave my house and get on the interstate…It’s really great and I’m really lucky to have found such a great job! :D

    I LOVE MY JOB!! :D

  114. Chocolatebunny says:

    put that on my to go list between number 4 and 6 haha!

  115. Naughty Molly says:

    You know what really erks me on a profile? It’s when a SD or SB posts a pic of themseleves with someone else. It makes me feel weird. I don’t want to see your kids or an ex girlfriend or even a friend in a profile pic!! WTF are they thinking!?! LOL!!

    Flyer ~ I totally agree with the escape from reality aspect. A “sugarship” should be fun and an escape from the “norm” of “real life”! I don’t want to go out and be totally thrown back into the everyday crap! Who the hell wants that?!? :D

  116. travelersb says:

    Hi everybody!

    yes! looking for a sugardaddy is 1000 times funnier than looking for a job. I’m good with men and firsts dates but I am horrible in interviews. I think I am just bad at talking about myself. Jobs are so serious and with sds we can laugh and make jokes !!! However, I need to work too since I have no more sd and maybe I am lucky to live in Canada. There are always jobs here. Not always the bests jobs, but that’s not too hard to find one after all. We haven’t been so much affected by the crisis :)

    Naughthy Molly you’ve been lucky! wow , you got an incredible job like that. Your resume must be great. I’m jealous ;) You seem like a very lucky person. What happened to you at Saks is crazy! I guess you are creating your luck. Congrats!

  117. Total Sugar says:

    Flyr: “accept the possibility that you will not make the squad you should be doing something else”

    I’m almost getting to the point where I am realizing Sugar Babying is not for me…. I’ll give it a try for a few more months, but I think I am too proud to lose. I never liked sports anyway. I rather yoga… LOL

  118. travelersb says:

    @TotalSugar, to me a sugar ”marriage” seems like the ideal relationship. It’s not compplicated, we don’t see each other too often so the magic and the curiosity for the other person stays. It gives emotional and financial stability and still, there are no heavy feelings and everybody stays free to live their live the way they wish. Add a touch of passion and a mentoring relationship and that is it! That’s my definition of the perfect relationship. It would be my dream to have a sugardaddy that I keep for years but that he doesn’t expect me to marry him in the end.

  119. Naughty Molly says:

    Travelersb ~ I just happened to be at the right place at the right time…lol. Luck really has nothing to do with it. :D

    There is no such thing as luck..it’s fate. :)

  120. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Good one coach!!!!…..ummm…I mean flyer ;-) Game ON!!!!

  121. NYDULCE says:

    “Blog Gods”
    On the blog people are more raw and I love it! It allows an in depth look at others perspectives and personalities than just browsing searching and exchanging emails and worrying “what is this person going to think ” . I don’t see a problem with the young ladies and men as well using the blog to express themselves, and if by their self expression they happen to attract an SB/SD with similar point of views then great!
    Also a request- I would like to exchange info with Chocolate Bunny. Thanx
    @travelerSb
    Everyone has their preference but in general it is age+ personality that is used as a deciding factor. Sometimes Arrangements can be made or not made just based on the mood. Us women have the incredible ability to transform ourselves into whoever we want. Just a switch of clothes, makeup and/or atitude we can go from cute and bubbly to soft and sensual or sexy and in control.You Basically you gotta find what works for you and work it!! ;)
    Total Sugar.
    Good Luck Thursday! I met a pot yesterday he seemed very sweet. We had been talking and trying to meet for months. Fingers crossed 4 both of us
    Hello NYC babes: In Bryant Park sunbathing if your close don’t be shy come say Hello :)

  122. travelersb says:

    Sugar Babying is the best initiative I had in years, I accepted myself and the fact that I like older men. It was hard because my friends and family can’t understand that. And it is so exciting. Those trips, those escapes, the feeling of having a secret life. The men, the sex….. I mean, seriously, there are no comparisons between sex with a 25 years old and a 40 years old man. There are exception, but in general, young men don’t have half of what I consider masculin and attractive in man and in the bedroom.

    If I wasn’t being in sugar relationships, I would be in NSA relationships with guys who are way more selfish and who have nothng to offer in exchange of my time, my attention, my love and my body anyways. So in the end, the time has proven me that the sugar bowl IS for me and I am sticking to it even though sometimes it can be hard.

  123. VASD says:

    LOL @travelersb… As per earlier in the above posts, I’ve been doing the SD/SB thing for over 10yrs (I’m 49). It still surprises me that so many beautiful/sexy ladies in their mid to late twenties haven’t been truly and attentively ‘done’ in the bedroom. I don’t think I’m particularly superhuman, but I’ve definitely had a few stagger out of bed having to hold on to furniture–”My God, I’ve never had THAT before…”

  124. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    No comparison between a man over 40 and a man in their 20s….my money goes on the over 40 every time :-) In fact I limit my criteria to 50 and above as I find the under 40 SDs are looking for 20 something SBs. :-(

  125. Anna Molly says:

    VASD – Lol! I have a hard time finding a guy to keep up with me, so, I know where you’re coming from and it feels awesome! It truly is amazing when you have a guy say ” please, I can’t take anymore!” lol :D

  126. Chantay says:

    I’ve always had a thing for older men as well. I remember being in my late teens, and dating a man in his 40′s. No regrets at all. God he was sexy…

    I’m in my early 30′s, and to this day I STILL prefer men 40 and over.

  127. VASD says:

    @Anna Molly –I’ll admit to having had to beg for mercy!
    Had a new SB once tell me she had only come on occasion with former lovers. Our first time in bed together had her cry out for mercy after rockin’ her world several times in a row. She called the next day and begged to do it all again that evening–self discovery.

  128. Miss D says:

    @travelersd- you seem to be meeting sds outside of Canada. Are these sds writing you, or are you writing sds outside the country? Any suggestions on what to say, cause I feel like the sds in my area are maxed out.
    Also, yes sex with an sd over 40 is definitely different and pretty good in my experience. Well at least that was true with my experience with a 45 y.o man was pretty good. However, I guess it may be the fact that he was experienced, and the fact that this gentleman was more physically fit than many 25 year olds that I know. So, i’m glad I can voice that because my friends just don’t get my attraction to mature men.

  129. travelersb says:

    wow! I’d like to have someone make me say ” please, I can’t take anymore” ! Even with my surper dominant machine lover I keep begging for more…

  130. travelersb says:

    @Miss D. At this moment I am not contacting nobody, but I use to contact men from the US. It’s usually me who have written to them in first. I have not been afraid to travel to meet a sd at the beginning ( all expenses on him of course). I always respect their schedule and I avoid putting pression on them. But most sugardaddys are not really open to a so-long distance relationship and the border seems to be a real big issue. :(
    American men rock though!!

  131. VASD says:

    @travelersb–you may well be dangerous…

  132. travelersb says:

    I am totaly harmless ;)

  133. VASD says:

    @Miss D–I’m based in Washington DC area, but have been keeping an on occasion ‘ when in Canada’ SB…travel there for work 5-6 times/yr. Am planning on flying my latest here in the Fall for a long weekend.

  134. Anna Molly says:

    I LOVE older men. Always have! They are so much more experienced in the bedroom. Maybe it’s because they’ve gotten past the “it’s all about me phase”. :)

    Who knows, with age comes experience ;)

  135. Anna Molly says:

    Oooo, VASD! Washington! Washington DC I assume?

  136. Anna Molly says:

    Don’t listen to Traveler…she isnnt as harmless as she would like you to believe! Lol!! (jk? Maybe not)

  137. Anna Molly says:

    Oooo!!! Going to six flags In NJ this week!!! Kinda Ka, here I come whoo hooo!

  138. Anna Molly says:

    *kingda ka* :D

    Auto correct stinks….lol. :)

  139. VASD says:

    Was Dee Cee it be.

    traveler is giving me visions of needing a walker…

  140. Anna Molly says:

    I’m soooo in need of a good adrenaline rush!!!! :D

  141. Anna Molly says:

    VASD – if you were in Naughty’s dungeon, you would need a stretcher…,LOL ;)

  142. VASD says:

    Is that kinda like a chiropracter?

  143. Anna Molly says:

    A stretcher with restraints, obviously. ;)

  144. Anna Molly says:

    Chiropractor, sure! Just a lot more fun. ;)

  145. travelersb says:

    WOUHOUU!!! I just got a call and I have the job I wanted!!! I’ll be waitress at the airport :D Maybe I will find my walker there, hopefully a generous gentleman. Airports are a great place to meet sds!!! Yahooo!

  146. travelersb says:

    A dungeon?!?! that’s the next step for me :D. I am Just waiting for my master to bring me there :P

  147. Anna Molly says:

    United and AA travellers are your best bet. :)

  148. travelersb says:

    thank you Anna Molly

  149. Anna Molly says:

    Why wait? Create a dungeon of your own! I have a great set up. Not too painful, but, just enough to let my victims….um….guests know who’s boss. I promise my cages…err guest rooms…are quite comfy. ;)

  150. Anna Molly says:

    You’re welcome :)

  151. VASD says:

    @Anna/Naughty Molly– And where is said dungeon?

  152. Chocolatebunny says:

    @NYDULCE, How do one exchange information, do we have to seek permission from the administrators?

    Profile#1082526

    Ciaoo xoxo

  153. cassie says:

    havent found my sugar daddy yet :( boo hoo

  154. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @VASD – What part of Canada do you visit?

  155. Total Sugar says:

    Travelersb congrats on the job you wanted, whohoooo!! I might get a job in New Jersey, having a second phone interview on Wed and a possible third in person. If I get this job I will probably won’t need a SD anymore. :):) LOL LOL

  156. Anna Molly says:

    VASD – Upstate NY. :)

  157. Teeny says:

    I was told something very interesting this weekend. I was told that the reason I have trouble finding a man both in and out of the sugar world is because I am sexually intimidating. I was shocked to hear this, my response was “I thought men wanted a girl who knows how to please them” Apparently I missed something along the way. Is this really a deterring factor for men?

  158. sarah says:

    Has anyone had a sd that they didnt have to have sex with?

  159. SBSierra says:

    @Teeny, I’ve been told that as well. I believe and prefer to know myself as sultry and sensual, certainly not intimidating. I too am not having any luck with meeting, heck I can’t even get a single man to say hello to me in an email!

    I’m about ready to sign off this site.

  160. travelersb says:

    @ Teeny. Maybe you would not even be interested in those guys who find you ”intimidating” You look for more and have more to offer so it’s normal that it takes more time. I find that we should just laugh at guys who say things like that because they are admitting in a way that they are surely missing something but they’re too afraid of it.

  161. travelersb says:

    hey than you TotalSugar. Good luck with your interviews! If you like the sugar world, I don’t see why you would leave it though. Not necessarly be needing an awlowance could give you an advantage over the other girls in fact. You would probably simply become more confident :) Go get that job girl and kick butts !!! yayyy

  162. travelersb says:

    Naughty Molly. do you mean that you have a dungeon in your place or you have a public dungeon??

  163. travelersb says:

    I meant ”thank** you TotalSugar… sorry for the typo again. My keybord is getting old! that’s not my fault… lol

  164. travelersb says:

    @sarah : no it never happened to me and I have never hear of someone who had that. Nothing is free in that world, well almost nothing

  165. Jack says:

    Teeny and SB SIerra,

    What do you think the guy meant when he said you were “sexually intimidating”?

    Jack

  166. Chantay says:

    SBSierra:

    Hey there :)

    Look, I’m really sorry that you haven’t found your match on the site yet, but just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it wont.

    This goes back to what I was referring to in the post before my last–I’d like a forum where people can come in with positive news/advice as WELL as coming in with frustrations and vents. It helps to know you’re not alone (and trust me, you’re not), and it keeps you believing that the right SD is out there (and he is). Just try to stay positive, do other things to occupy your time/mind, and he’ll find you when he’s supposed to.

    Keep putting yourself out there, and make sure your profile relays honesty but in an appealing way.

    Don’t give up–it may be taking longer than you’d wish to find The One, but when you do you’ll be so happy the others never responded.

    Don’t focus on it too much! Just keep in mind that a watched pot never boils :)

  167. Midwest SB says:

    NYDulce – I believe we agree fully. E-mail exchanges are welcome. Blogmances have happened. We just want to avoid looking like Craigsl*st and interrupt the valuable conversations that occur here. I will exchange your e-mail as requested.

    Travelersb – Congrats! Go celebrate!

  168. travelersb says:

    oh there he is!
    I was thinking at the moment ” where is gone Mr. Perfect alias Jack ? ” Glad to see that you are alive :)

  169. Midwest SB says:

    ILWCG – In response to your question on a prior blog…I haven’t read for pleasure for about 18 months :/ Maybe someday. By everything I hear, I feel like I’ve read it already!

  170. Anna Molly says:

    I’m Reading “Those Across the River” right now. Looks like it will be a great book, but, my fab book I’ve read recently was “Room”, absolutely amazing read!

  171. Anna Molly says:

    I have my own personal “playroom” and it’s full of fun toys! ;)

    I hate typing on this iPhone…lol :D

  172. Anna Molly says:

    Hi Midwest! :)

  173. carebear says:

    “4.) Career Opportunities

    He knows everyone in the room: country clubs, restaurants, events, you name it. A Sugar Daddy is well connected and always eager to introduce you. Even if the sugar disappears and you decide to part ways, the memory and gifts will always be a sweet reminder. Connections are the greatest gift a Sugar Daddy will give his baby. After all, it isn’t what you know, but who you know.”

    I specifically had someone today turn me down because we were too closely connected. While I have connections that would put most men on this site to shame, I can barely use them. Thats probably the biggest misconception I’ve had about this world so far.

    Hi bloggers. I’m not reading everything because I can’t make it through 167 comments without pulling my hair out. Just enjoyed a nice weekend with our pals Muse and Scarlet. Life is good here in NYC, happily progressing and always creating new goals and ideas.

    Hope all is well with the people I like. =)

  174. travelersb says:

    Anna! you possess a red room of pain :)

  175. gabby:) says:

    definitly true. i need a guy like that, i honestly wouldn’t want anything serious though. but if it hits that point i’m willing to join.. mines goes like this.
    since i really love meeting new people it’d be
    1-meeting new guys. i love it, why not it’s fun. :)
    2-sex..i’m young and i don’t sleep around but if you find someone who can achieve new things al the time it’s so worth it. :)
    3-finnacially stable- i’ve been through rough parts and having money is great especially when it’s spent with your sd :)
    4-traveling ..never been out of florida, i was born here but hey i wanna try new things. :D
    5- lastly, my career. as i’m going for cosmetologist i’d like to have big opportunities out there. if they now good schools/careers i’d definitely be interested.

  176. Jesse says:

    what are the proper precautions you should make before traviling in or out of state with a sugar daddy?

  177. Naughty Molly says:

    Jesse ~ First, I would suggest really getting to know this guy either through texting, phone calls or even a short meeting. Even with all of these things in place, you still never know, so, confide in a friend and let them know where you’re going, who you’re with and check in often. Stay in a seperate hotel room, never at his home and make sure you have your own cash just incase you have to get out of there fast.

    These are my suggestions. I’m sure others will chime in. Good luck!!

  178. Naughty Molly says:

    Travelersb ~ LOL, well, it’s a good kind of pain ;)

  179. Total Sugar says:

    OMG regarding the intimidating part…. I did have a guy telling me this before, but it was on a regular date not a sugar date. I asked what the heck was that supposed to mean, he said I was too much for him and that I deserved someone better. Huh??? WTF.

  180. Simplicity says:

    Not having much luck on here can you lovely ladies and gents check out my profile and give me some tips please.

    #1106780

  181. Naughty Molly says:

    I just went to the store to buy one of those long lighters you use for candles or grills and I got carded…LOL! :D

  182. travelersb says:

    @ Naughty, I know, it is all about pleasure :)

  183. Naughty Molly says:

    @ travelersb ~ What’s really funny about it is that I look so sweet and innocent, but, you know what they say about that….”those are the kinda’ girls you have to watch out for!” ;)

  184. Naughty Molly says:

    Where did James C. go? He better show up soon or he’ll get a spankin’! ;)

  185. Naughty Molly says:

    And what about SDinLA?!? Where did he run off to? He is in soooo much trouble…lol :D

  186. Naughty Molly says:

    I think that men who find strong, attractive womenintimidating have a few self-esteem issues. That’s just MHO. :)

    I can’t wait for six flags. I need to blow off some steam and the 456 foot tall Kingda Ka that launches you from 0 to 128mph in about 3.5 seconds is just what I need. Soooo looking forward to it! Whoo Hoo!!!

  187. travelersb says:

    Hola at your power innocent Molly!

  188. Naughty Molly says:

    Lol!

    I can’t spell today I suppose. People keep walking in on me! GRRRR!!!

  189. Total Sugar says:

    Molly: “buy one of those long lighters you use for candles or grills and I got carded”

    What did you say to the cashier what were you gonna so with the lighter?? LOL LOL

    Yeah, guys who get intimidated by a pretty woman… the reality is they can’t deal with the fact she might have other suitors also interested in her. Possessive men suck.

  190. travelersb says:

    it’s missing some testosterone on this blog :(

  191. Naughty Molly says:

    Yea! Where are all the SDs! We need you!!!

  192. Naughty Molly says:

    So here’s the plan. I can’t go to Six Flags NJ, but, I am going to six flas New England. Bizzaro here I come!! I can’t wait, so much to do, the adrenilan rush, the fun…It will be awesome!! Can’t wait!! Yes, I’m acting like a 16yr old, but I dont’ care…I love it!! There is nothing better than dropping over 200ft, what a rush!!!

    Rriding rollercoasters are the most intense thing you’ve ever experienced! I LOVE IT!!! It’s amazing. I’M So Psyched!!!

  193. Naughty Molly says:

    I’m a coaster maniac!! I Love them! Coasters are a way to let go and feel free

  194. travelersb says:

    yay! Innocent Molly. Enjoy your six flag! I haven’t gone there since years. I think I will ask my potential sd to bring me there! hum…. maybe not ahah. I’m sure it is nothis thing. Anyhow, let the 16 y o in you be alive for a while … it will be a break from the dark room of pain :P

  195. Naughty Molly says:

    LOL, I wsa polite and said “sure,no prob!) LOL. Whatever, I don’t care :)

  196. Naughty Molly says:

    OOOO, where are you located? I’m going to Six Flags New England. It would be awesome to run into you!! :D

  197. travelersb says:

    yeah it would !! I’m too far though. I would go at the one in Montreal if I go.

  198. Naughty Molly says:

    I’m so lookin forward to it and I happen to LOVE Disney World. The last time I was ther for any length of time, EPCOT hadn’t even been built yet!! LOL!

  199. Naughty Molly says:

    La Rhonde is pretty good, but, it is lacking in coasters. If you want to go the coaster capital of the world, go to Sandusky Ohio..almost 20 coasters among other thrill rides. I want to go there so bad!!!! :(

  200. travelersb says:

    we should organize a trip to there then :D . I would just need the help of a gentleman to afford it!!

  201. Total Sugar says:

    Molly, are you going all the way to Springfield? That’s a long trip!! Have fun!!!

  202. Simplicity says:

    Sandusky is wonderful. I go there a few times a year.

  203. SassyInMass says:

    Naughty- have fun! I was there last summer n had a blast. I also have a red rm of pain but never thought to make a 2nd sb profile. Do you mind if I ask how you run yours (naughty profile) Namely is it straight ProDomme themed or more mentor based n dating? In advance I apologize if the ProD term is upsetting, just happens to what we call it in my local bdsm community. And technically Im a switch lol

  204. @ everybody says:

    i am desperately in need of a sugar daddy…can somebody help me out???? I am a jamaican

  205. BellaLove says:

    Hello SBs and SDs. This post is quite to the point and from my experience, SDs love to show you the world, love to buy you shoes and goodies, love to show you off, but they feel emasculated when it comes to the allowance.
    However, if we get the allowance/transaction out of the way, the rest is indeed like any other relationship, even better as it keeps new, fascinating and exciting. Taking mundane out of the equation, we have romance, friendship, protection, great mind blowing sex( where it applies) and super portal to endless quality connection for our businesses or goals.
    One insight:) men are visual ladies and through my findings 90% have a kink or two and they all LOVE a confident woman.
    Think about it and get creative.
    xoxo
    BellaLove

  206. Total Sugar says:

    “i am desperately in need of a sugar daddy…can somebody help me out???? I am a jamaican”

    Hey there …. not sure what is going on in your life, but if you are here because you are “desperate”, that is not a good place to start. You should be here because you are happy with your life and want a daddy to enhance it, not because you are… desperate. The desperate ones like you, will undermine all the efforts of us, non-desperate sugars. You are the type that will probably sleep with a guy for a few hundred or less and tarnish the reputation of all legitimate sugars here. Please, get your life in order and don’t be here, honey. Ask the help of relatives, social services and go through the proper channels if you are in any danger and destitute.

  207. NYDULCE says:

    Molly so jealous Ive never been to Six Flags :(
    Blog Gods Thanx for granting my wish.
    Sarah… If only you knew my dear. What a man would do for woman that he is completely seduced by. A woman who captivates his mind and soul. And makes him forget all his troubles and worries through just a smile or by simply thinking about her… Not all men want the same thing. Every arrangement is unique. And should be a special connection between 2(or more) people with mutual understanding and desires.

  208. Peter says:

    @Simplicity

    I looked at your profile and really liked what I saw. If I were living somewhat closer, I’d at least go out with you and see where it leads. Maybe it’s the location (Vegas)? Maybe it’s because you appear really confident, perhaps even slightly on the wild side? ;-) Again, I wouldn’t have a problem with that.

    Good luck!

  209. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @simplicity – Took a look. I noticed you didn’t tell any SDs what you would do for them, it’s all about you. You’re very beautiful and I can only imagine how long your legs are. There are lots of leg men out there….maybe mention how hot they are :-)

  210. PhoneGuy says:

    @ everybody,
    Please pardon Madison..I mean Total Sugar, she was raised by wolves.

    I think the point she is trying to get across is that if you really are desperate, it may be harder to find an SD because that tone may come across in your profile or email. Also it may lead you to be taken advantage of and consequently you will not have a very good sugar experience.

    Maybe you could provide some more details of what you are looking for and what you are experiencing. You could even post your profile number and we can try to give you some advice.

  211. Simplicity says:

    BEB my legs are just over 38 in long ;) I will add that in, as well as what I can bring to the table. Thank you so very much.

  212. Simplicity says:

    Thank you Peter

  213. travelersb says:

    grrrrrrrrr!! it’s frustrating! I have change the picture on my profile and until it is approved, I can’t send any mail or reed my mails :(

  214. travelersb says:

    I have to calculate how long are my legs!!

  215. Tiffany says:

    Is there any women who are doing well with the site and willing to help revamp my profile?

  216. Teeny says:

    @Jack when I asked why he said that this is what I was told.
    “You are a lot of woman sexually, you just know what you’re doing very well and for some guys thats intimidating”

    Im a fetish model and do porn, of course I know what Im doing. If I didnt I wouldn’t have much of a career lol.

  217. travelersb says:

    Men have rarely told me that I was intimidating in bed. My sexual skills are usualy something that I keep very private. I like to surprise a guy once we get in the bedroom. They rarely expect me to know what I am doing. Maybe that’s my innocent appearence that got them wrong.

    Unfortunalty, I have often been told that I am intimidating for men because I am ”intelligent”. When I was talking about a book that I had read or when I was expressing a clever opinion for examples. If I show that I have depth in my thinking, then I’m burn lol… I really don’t care about those men seriously. I don’t consider myself like having a LOT of culture or being extremly intelligent so when someone is intimadated by the little I am, that simply tells me that he is ignorant and he is not open to learn more and improve himself.

  218. PhoneGuy says:

    Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3.

  219. James says:

    Teeny, I am not easily intimidated, but a fetish model who does porn, that would be intimidating!

  220. HoneyBee says:

    @***FAITHFUL BLOG GODS***

    Is it intimidating to request a STD test be completed on BOTH parties BEFORE ANY TYPE of sexual encounter, except some sensual FOREPLAY? Should that STOP the process for the arrangment?

    When is too soon to have sex with your SD/SB?

  221. Cherly says:

    I am very new to this website. I have received a lot of messages and they end up being disappointing. I have read pretty much every article on how to make your profile more interesting and yet I feel like I am missing something. The one thing I refuse to do is to put half nude pictures or clothing that barely cover my body. I don’t want to lose myself in the process. Please give me more advice. I don’t know if I need to show more skin or just stick to being me. I think my greatest strength is my sense of humor. I love to make people laugh and to also pamper my SD with my cooking and back massages :).

    Please help me !!

  222. Midwest SB says:

    Honeybee – answered this on the other blog. My SDs volunteered to be tested before anything occurred. Hate to say it, but the safest methods in order are: abstinence, protection, testing (and still taking a chance).

    Phoneguy – You have mail. Nice observation.

  223. TotalSugar says:

    A fetish model who does porn…. this line by itself does scare off people LOL

  224. Jack says:

    Teeny, thanks for the response to my question.

    I dunno, but I think I’d find a fetish model who does porn interesting (at the very least), rather than intimidating. But can’t say I have ever come across that circumstance in my life. LOL.

    And Cherly, I’m sure that showing more skin would get more “action,” but from reading your post, it doesn’t seem to me that it would be the sort of action you seek. That being said, are you comfortable in a normal bikini (I’m not talking the Brazilian kind, where one has to look hard to find the fabric)? If so, would you be comfortable having a tasteful bikini pic on your profile–maybe engaged in a fun activity such as sailing, jetskiing, playing beach volleyball (even if staged), etc?

    If that is NOT within your comfort level, just post what you would be comfortable with, and take it from there.

    Jack

  225. Jack says:

    I often give advice on this blog but now I would like to get some–from both the men and the ladies. I’m 55 (56 in 3 days!), in very good shape with a receding hairline. I’m not into hair transplants and contrary to general belief, Rogaine doesn’t do much in this regard.

    I have been thinking about going the shaved-head route and am wondering what you all think of shaved heads. For the guys–have you tried it? Thoughts?

    For the gals, do shaved heads turn you on, off or does it depend? If it depends, what on?

    Thanks in advance for any thoughts/opinions to be provided. Please be honest. I won’t be offended.

    Jack

  226. Cherly says:

    I would rather see a shaved head lol. It kinda reminds me of a military man and in turn tough?lol I would rather say shaved head. Even if it is shiny :)

  227. travelersb says:

    shaved heads turn me on in general!! On your pictures your hair seems great though. Yes, I saw your profile… I’ll say hi soon… when my goddamn profile get approved! I think you have enough hair to keep them for a while again. That’s a 50-50% shot.

  228. SD4ONE says:

    @Simplicity. I had a look at your profile and I think you’re missing something – some indication of your personality. It just seems, well, boring! Maybe a picture or two of you smiling and a lot more about you and what you’d like to get from an arrangement.

    I agree with Blue Eyed Beauty (she’s so smart!). A little bit about what you would bring to the arrangement would be a really great idea.

  229. Teeny says:

    @Jack I would have to see what you look like to really give you answer but I like guys with shaved heads… if they can pull it off.

  230. Jack says:

    Thanks, Cherly and Traveler, for your thoughts. I am pretty “tough” (at least on the outside; a pussycat on the inside, though) so maybe the shaved head would convey that.

    Teeny, my profile is 989322–have a look and weigh in.

    The more the merrier.

    Thanks, Jack

  231. Teeny says:

    @Jack
    I would say yes you could pull it off very well.

  232. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Jack
    I personally think a guy with shaved head is sexy!
    Especially if you have “receding hair line” – the shorter the rest of the hair the better.

    I actually have a thing for bald guys. When I was 24 I had a lover who was 37 y old, he was bald and So sexy (he was and is a successful guy in a big city) , we still keep in touch , exchange e mails.
    And since then I think bald is sexy (but may be therapy can help me) :)

    Jack – in your particular case :) you are such a smart and sweet guy with great personality ! – who cares about the hair line?

  233. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – Bald depends on shape of the head. At the very least keep it close cropped.

    @SD4ONE – Thank you so much for the compliment :-)

  234. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Phone Guy – Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

  235. Miss D says:

    @ honeybee, I don’t think it’s unreasonable, if both of you agree to it. However, a lot of STIs have certain incubation periods. Therefore, if his negative and has participated in some kind of sexual activity ex. 2 days before he was tested, especially unprotected sexual activity, that test will not necessarily pick up anything he picked up during that sexual encounter. Also honeybee, please note that you can still get STIs during foreplay that is unprotected depending on what you guys are doing. Therefore, Midwest sb is completely right, only protection is abstinence. The rest you have to take your chances with because there are always a degree of risk, lol.

  236. Simplicity says:

    Good Morning lovies, SD4ONE thank you so very much for the imput, hopefully it will turn my luck around.

  237. HoneyBee says:

    @MidwestSB -thanks hon!

    @MissD-trending topic with some of my fellow sugars..I’ve befriended…Not to mention the MANY request I get to “pay for play” initially then graduate to the “traditional sd/sb relationship” like my profile reads escort! Makes me cringe. Not to mention I met with a pot for dinner who had the sudden case of stinky fingers. Now I’ve been practicing abstinence for over 6 months. Sometimes it’s tempting but I know better.

    Also, it just keeps me reassured that I’m doing the right thing by asking for testing on both ends, even though my most recent was May of this year. People are just two quick to jump into bed with each other now a days. That freaks me out. No std is a good one but I’d rather walk away with a shot and antibiotics that will clear, than medicine for the rest of my life.

    Anywho.Should the arrangement be put on pause until testing is complete?

  238. flyr says:

    re testing

    The addition I would make to midwest’s and honeybee’s notes is to give lifestyle (and certain occupations and areas) a high priority in the risk evaluation. The issue of very recent sexual activity can be mitigated if it is a leisurely search.

    For the most serious STD they used to publish data regarding the probable source. It was clear that 90% of the problem was isolated in 5% of the population. The release of the data was killed because it conflicted with the mantra that “everybody” was at risk.

  239. SD4ONE says:

    @Cherly.
    “The one thing I refuse to do is to put half nude pictures or clothing that barely cover my body. I don’t want to lose myself in the process. Please give me more advice. I don’t know if I need to show more skin or just stick to being me.”

    Cherly, I haven’t seen your profile but I wanted to mention SassyinMass’s – 951676. She uses a really great picture (the one by the fountain) that is very sexy. If I’m a typical SD (what’s typical?) then that picture would draw a lot of attention. She also has a pretty intriguing profile that has been mentioned in other blogs. (Don’t worry – I asked her permission to mention her profile.)

    The point is she’s not half nude. A really great picture can draw much more attention than one where it’s all out there. It might also draw more quality SD’s and less picture collectors. Jack’s comment re: a nice bikini has merit too but only if you’re comfortable with that. An SB I’m seeing has done a similar thing. Fully clothed but wonderfully posed. Maybe a professional photographer is the way to go.

    Don’t lose yourself in the process Cherly. You is all you have.

  240. Miss D says:

    @honey bee, I completely know what you mean, I agree that testing is a good idea, and like i stated I don’t think its unreasonable if both parties agree to it. However, just make sure you still take precautions that’s all. Also yes, if your going to test hold off on anything before the results come in including sensual foreplay, lol.

  241. Miss D says:

    Does someone know why my profile approval is still pending after submitting it sat, does it take that much time??? Its been way more than 72 hours. What’s going on?? Is anyone else experiencing that same problem

  242. travelersb says:

    bald is sexy!! yummy

  243. Jack says:

    Thanks to all for commenting on bald vs. not. Looks like bald is winning 4 to 1!

    Re: STD’s, I did a long post on it a couple of months ago, and will summarize here, based on 25 years of medical practice, nearly all of it as an ER doc.

    1) Although everyone refers to these diseases as “STD’s” (plural), it seems that everyone actually only “tests” for HIV. Yes, you can test for syphilis via a blood test, but routine tests for chlamydia (one of the most common–possibly the most common–STD’s) and herpes (also very common) are rarely done.

    2) A good medical/gyn exam can reveal evidence of the other STD’s for which tests are not usually done, although herpes is often asymptomatic (ie, no visible lesions) and studies show that it is still transmissible when asymptomatic (though with much lower “transmission efficiency” than when lesions are apparent).

    3) As Flyr says, your antennae should really go up if your potential bedmate is from a high-risk group–homosexual/bisexual males, especially if they routinely engage in unprotected (bareback) sex, prostitutes (whether male or female), especially if they are IV drug abusers, IV drug abusers, even if they are not prostitutes, Africans (ie, people who have spent a lot of time on that continent, where HIV is endemic, affecting up to 50% or more of certain populations (I only mention this one because I recall a recent SB who posted that she loves men from Africa–just be VERY careful there), and finally, heterosexual men and women with many sexual partners, especially if those partners belong to one of the high-risk groups just discussed.

    4) Getting to know the relevant history that would identify someone as being in a high-risk group is hard for some people but very doable. If the person you are discussing these issues with is being evasive, that should tell you something.

    5) Mutual “testing” is a great idea, but recall that testing for HIV only covers one disease, and even then, does not eliminate that possibility 100%.

    CONCLUSION: NOTHING in life is 100% safe (including meeting a guy or gal on the internet), but practicing a combination of the above should reduce the risk very significantly. If you want ZERO risk, then abstinence is the only way. Of course, that approach might put you into a big depression, and those are risky too (LOL).

    Jack

  244. JillyBean says:

    Hey there all! I’m new!

    I was curious, if an SD wants to take you shopping, do you “hold back”? I usually buy expensive bags, shoes, and dresses on my own money, but I was wondering, would an SD say “NO”, if I wanted something on the higher end?

    Thanks for reading!

  245. VASD says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty and @Anna/Naughty

    I get to Ottawa 4-5 times/yr for work, sometimes to Toronto, get to Lake Placid are 2-3 times yr for pleasure.

  246. flyr says:

    @JillyBean

    Let him take the lead in suggesting something

    Somewhat depends on if it is outside the sugar contract and a gift or part of the sugar contract in which case you would more of a voice.

    If he suggests bag that does not meet your standards perhaps you suddenly think of something that’s high quality but in the same range perhaps something slinky.

  247. flyr says:

    MEMBER NOT VERIFIED

    Apparently this message is set to randomly appear on non verified profiles

    ****************************************************************************************
    This member is not verified, that means that you cannot be 100% sure they are who they say they are. Ask them to verify themselves, if they refuse…there may be something fishy going on. Learn more about Background Verification
    ****************************************************************************************

    If someone IS verified you still have no assurance that the information they give you is correct unless SA releases the info? Am I missing something.

  248. VASD says:

    @JillyBean
    Maybe I’m a cheap SD, but I like to have parameters–such as shopping budgets–established in advance. Maybe something you should discuss with your SD before going shopping to find out his comfort zone.

  249. VASD says:

    @travelersb
    On your ‘intimidating’ comment, I LIIKE smart women–much more fun and interesting both in and out of bed. I’d much rather be with a plain-looking but sharp lady than a bombshell who’s dumber than a box-o-rocks. The latter tends to be full of herself, then a dead fish in the sack.
    Of course, smart AND gorgeous…

  250. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @VASD – How’s the SB scene in Ottawa/Toronto?

  251. HoneyBee says:

    @Miss D- gotcha1 I totally practive birth control, condoms, etc when engaging in sexual activities. (big sigh) lol..no intense fore play for me..lol…
    So NO SUGAR until the results come back? Oh my! What if I need something. Not saying it takes forever, but some people like to procrasanate. But I take NO EXCUSES for NO TESTING unless you got some RECENT ARTIFACTS!
    I had that problem and I wrote support. A hr later my profile was approved, but it had been a whole week before I wrote them. So I would def advise to get on it!

    @Jack- Thanks sug..btw…NO BALD!!!!!!

  252. HoneyBee says:

    @JillyBean- I so agree with VASD..I went in Neiman Marcus today to shop for a very nice elegant dress,( not to say I don’t already have any), but I just wanted something new and I almost freaked the hell out when I saw this plain, but cute, dress by Chanel for $1,800.00. I would not ever encourage an SD to purchase anything like it for me. But there were some better designer dresses and one I settled on that was on sale for $400. So, you should definitely ask him about perimeters

  253. travelersb says:

    hummm…. Toronto!!! so many great memories ! yummy yummy

    sorry, I know the question wasn’t for me, but mmiam!

  254. travelersb says:

    I’m glad to hear that you like smart women VASD. And I agree with you, someone smart also understand more how his/her own body and the one of his/her partner so it gives a better passion under the sheets !!! Glory to all smart people who are not intimidated by what they don’t know!!!.

  255. flyr says:

    @jillybean shopping continued

    The risk with the SD may not be so much that he says no but that it sets off a red light in his brain.

  256. VASD says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty (and travelersb, since you seem to be listening in to our very private conversation)…
    There are not that many interesting and qualified (to me) in Ottawa. On the other hand, it really only takes one good one!

  257. VASD says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty A complete response–I’ve never seriously looked in Toronto.

    Many beauties in Montreal, though!

  258. travelersb says:

    I understand that one would need a good sb in Ottawa… we cannot say that it is the most dynamic city. But it can become a very romantic city in good company :) I miss walking by the canal rideau or skating on the canal rideau. The shopping center there is great too!

  259. travelersb says:

    I almost said that you should try Montreal! but you said it before me lol

  260. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @VASD – ahhhhhh oui….French girls are very stylish and sexy….did I ever mention I used to live in Montreal and I’m French ;-)

  261. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @VASD – I should clarify…I’m half French and half Dane….I like to say there’s a little Viking in me too ;-)

  262. VASD says:

    @BEB I had a super-passionate long weekend fling avec une belle Quebcoise in Montreal over 10 years ago–just hearing a female voice with that accent gets me tingly all over again. Errr… where were you 10 years ago? LOL

  263. travelersb says:

    @ VASD – it’s sad that you cannot hear my accent through this blog :(

  264. Passion4Fashion says:

    Are there any real SDs in Florida who would be interesred in a young cute black curvy sugar baby? Ive changed my profile fixed the pics did everything I know how took the advice but still nothing. I know people say that the sugar daddies are not racist but its hard to believe I have come across to many daddies lookimg for the size 4 and below girls the white,asian,or hispanic NO BLACK GIRLS if im wrong please prove it

  265. VASD says:

    @travelersb Seriously. Tingly. All over.

  266. PhoneGuy says:

    @Jillybean,

    I would definitely ask the SD what he thinks of your choice.
    But I would think you would have some hint by the relative ratio of your allowance versus the item in question.

    >I usually buy expensive bags, shoes, and dresses on my own money,
    Maybe you should be a sugar momma. ;-)

  267. HoneyBee says:

    *Sugar Blog Gods*

    This guy just emailed me and said I wasnt real because my MAIN profile pic is one of I shaded in white and black and that he could not verify me!. We didn’t even exchange information Of course I have pics in color in my PRIVATE collection, but why waste time sharing them if its not going to go anywhere. So I calmy responded ” I shaded my profile pic because its for SD who’s profile descriptions are of a PERSONALITY and NOT SKIN COLOR, so would it matter that you may confuse MY INTELLIGENT AND INTELLECTUAL PROFILE and or TEXTERSATION (yes i created a word) with BLACK OR WHITE ethnicity?!’

    Was that rude?

    Omg! Just steamed my little teapot!

  268. Teeny says:

    On STD/STI testing.. I think it is a reasonable request for both parties to be tested before any sex occurs. With that said… they make these amazing things called condoms, I am told that when used properly they are effective at preventing pregnancy and the transmission of most STDs (herpes being the general exception because herpes is transmitted skin to skin and not thru bodily fluids) Unless you are in a monogamous relationship I would highly suggest using them. Just my 2 cents on that subject.

    Shopping…. I would ask what his budget for shopping is. If the budget is say $1000 (which is kind of high to me for one shopping trip) you could spend it all on one hand bag, or you could get a few out fits, shoes and a few other things. Personally I would prefer to be told upfront how much I can spend, that way I can decide what I really want instead of buying one thing I kind of want and then told no on the thing I really want.

  269. WCSD says:

    @Jack – I’m a ‘younger’ SD, and my hairline has been thinning for a while. Last year I decided enough was enough and now keep it closely cropped (a number 2 buzz every week in the shower). Definitely not ‘bald’, mainly because I don’t think I’d want to shave it with a razor 2-4 times a week…just too much work. The change in hair cut hasn’t seemed to affect my life in any way (other than my convenience). But it might be just that I don’t really think it about it at any time (other than when my 3 year old nephew comments about my short ‘spikey’ hair).

    @BlueEyed – I am also a Dane. I’ve always said I’m 51% Danish. Born in Denmark to a Danish mother, and Canadian father, but grew up in Canada. Have both a Danish and Canadian passport, and speak Danish fluently (writing is a different matter though). It is amazing how many Danes are out there….

  270. Peter says:

    A fetish model who does porn? Bring it on! I was dating a suicide girl last year and she was doing the same thing. WIN! ;-)

  271. ChocolateBunny says:

    BounaSera,

    @NYDULCE- I sent you an email, let me know if you got it hun!

    -Ciao xxx

  272. hotsb says:

    @Pasion4Fashion
    Hi girl. I’m French but originary from Africa. I have to admit that it seems that it’s harder for black girls to find sugar daddies. So you need to WORK HARDER to find one.
    First, ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST . It’s great to be curvy, but if you’re overweight try to lose a few pounds and exercise to stay curvy and in shape because you don’t want pot sugar daddies thinking that you’re not taking care of yourself and not healthy. Their first impression is based on our looks so that’s very important. It’s all about having the right proportions. You want to have an hourglass figure.
    The way you carry yourself is very important. A lot of sugar daddies i met told me that they thought that they were going to meet a crazy, loud black woman and that i proved them wrong. I was the opposite, very graceful , smart, caring, elegant……
    Everybody knows that there’s a stigma associated with black women so you have to prove them wrong by being yourself, being very classy and articulate.
    You should talk about your goals too. What you want to do and that you want to learn from them. Succesful men love to teach and it boosts their ego.
    You should also have a great picture.There is no room for error.
    And having a sense of humour doesn’t hurt.
    My sd experience so far: I’ve never had a real arrangement so far because the ones i’ve met were not as available as i thought they were(i want to see someone twice or three times a month) but i went on a lot of dates and they always ended up giving me money and offering shopping sprees because they enjoyed laughing with me( i’m always told i’m cute and very funny.It helps a lot). For instance the last three shopping sprees i got were at Louis Vuitton, average spending 2000 euros, and 500 euros in cash and they told me they had no intention of doing it in the beginning. That’s how fast they can change their minds.So i would suggest you do that too especially in the first few messages you guys exchange.
    You make them laugh, they will remember you.
    I think that if you take this approach , you’ll improve your chances.
    Most important, stay positive, it takes time.
    Let me know what you think about what i wrote and i’ll answer you.
    Good luck.

  273. Toni says:

    I was very skeptical about seekingarrangement and the misconception of what SD/SB relationship is.I just met my SD at the end of may and my perception of SD/SB relationship changed. He is very sweet. He give me a great monthly allowance, threw a nice party for my b-day in July, and is getting a great apartment for me… I worry less about bills and my college tuition and try to save as much as possible because you never know when something is going to happen… My SD is one of the oral sex giver ever, so I am very grateful for this site <3…

  274. Miss D says:

    @ VA SD and traveler sb I’m so butting into your convo, love Ottawa and montreal so much!! Both cities are much nicer than Toronto, @ VA SD but you should def. check out Toronto. I hear there are a lot of sbs from Toronto, including moi, lol. Let me know what you find in Toronto, I want to know what the sb scene is like, how many of us out there.

  275. Bree says:

    @hotsb Great advice!

  276. Red Blooded Woman says:

    Porn is definitely a high risk occupation.Even in films where condoms are used for intercourse they are usually Not used for oral. And testing is Not legally required for these.And in films where testing is required you don’t know what people are doing in between films or how responsible they are being off cameras. Working in the adult industry was exciting. I loved dancing and filming it was art to me.However you can’t have porno c*** everyday your v@gina can get flaccid. And when dealing with regular guys you start to feel like you gotta f*** like a pornstar every time. So yes that is what I meant by breaking your back in my previous post. You feel the pressure to live up to those high expectations. And they forget they have to please you too :( That’s why I don’t bother telling guys about my past.

  277. Refined Sugar says:

    Is there a more informal, intimate group that meets in NYC as opposed to the formal sugar parties? I’m interested in not only meeting like minded sugars like me, but high quality SD’s.

  278. NY DULCE says:

    Yes dear I did receive your email and responded just now. It’s funny I had a gentlemen offer me 10k /month to have the Hugh Hefner experience. He wanted 3 girls either Black or Hispanic and is 20 years younger than Hef and sexier.I would have totally done it but he’s all the way out in Cali. I would have been one of His Chocolate Bunnies.lol

  279. hotsb says:

    Thanks Bree. Are you African American?
    Do you have problems meeting sugar dadies?

  280. New SB says:

    This is way off topic but I wanted to post it anyways to get some advice.
    I’m meeting my first potential SD this Friday and was wondering what type of clothing I should wear. I know it sounds silly but in your opinion what works best when meeting a new SD, are sexy, expensive clothes a requirement for most guys?

  281. Danielle says:

    Hello,
    I’m new to the sugar bowl.

    From the SD’s profiles that I’ve read, SD’s in general seem to want SB’s who fit the tall, blonde, Caucasian, very thin “mold”, but there are some whom I’ve chatted with that state they will go for whom ever they feel they click with regardless of ethnicity.
    I’ve gotten e-mails from several SD’s who seem interested and I’m not tall, blonde, Caucasian or very thin.

  282. travelersb says:

    Toronto makes me wild…. a bit like Las Vegas, I don’t know why. What’s going on there stays there! hummmm … I want to go to Toronto now, I would feel free to escape Montreal.

  283. travelersb says:

    @ Danielle… this is true. men sometimes they have an ideal, but when they feel a ”connection” they kind of forget their ideal lol. Sex Appeal seems more winner than a perfect body ;)

  284. travelersb says:

    Miss D, est-ce que tu parles français?

  285. Cherly says:

    @ Danielle I was wondering the exact same thing. I am only 5’2 130 pounds and I am Haitian lol. I feel like I am completely far away from what the men on here like. I have been slowly getting more messages because of the extra pictures I posted.

  286. travelersb says:

    @ hotsb… are you in Paris? I was there two months ago and I understood what is the myth about parisians women! they just get what feminity means!! I am jealous. I try to inspire myself from what I saw there.

  287. travelersb says:

    I don’t think that it is about fitting in the stereotype that most guy idealize that will make one girl create her luck. I am Blond, blue eyes, 5 feet 6 , not really thin but not like fat or overweigt and I haven’t receive any mail since a month. My profile is well written. I let things go since for the moment, having a sugardaddy is not my priority, even though it could be lot of fun. I don’t know what make a guy write to a girl first. To me, they seem to randomly pick the profiles they’ll write to.

  288. travelersb says:

    In those no messages, I don’t count winks or messages like ”hey do you like sushis babe?” or guys who are married and want to meet in a hotel for two hours once a week lol.

    By the way, @ EVERYBODY, do you answer to winks? I am always sad to see that someone think that they would probably eventualy sleep with me and are not even taking the time to write some words to introduce themself. Maybe I should disable the winks.

  289. Cherly says:

    I am glad there isn’t because I almost deleted my profile for that very reason.

  290. travelersb says:

    @ VASD, I want some tingly me too! Even though I don’t know what it is… I’m french remember. google translate doen’t want to help me on this one. Well, maybe I figured it out with the context :P

  291. Passion4Fashion says:

    @Hotsb I undrstsnd where you are coming from but its been a year and nothing Im doing my best to take the right photos and say the right thing(hard to do with no money/hints why im here in the 1st place) not only are the men here rude men I meet on the streets/school etc.. they think because im black im loud ghetto easy etc.. when im actually very mature for my age and classy, respectful I have goals and dreams but Im never given the chance to prove it! Just tonight an sd contacted me gave his number and everything was going well he asked for full body pics and then said its not going to work because im too heavy im 175lbs 5’2 in pics my breats make me look very big (38H) I have a very large chest which doesnt do me much justice in pictures making me looking bigger than I am! Men can be really rude at times but it all comes down to size weather im white or blak if im not slim like a stick im not worth the time most men try to make me feel like im all good for sex im not worth anything else I know I am and if given the chance I can prove it but whats the point with this site?? A part of me really wants to delete my account

  292. Passion4Fashion says:

    @travelersb from what Ive been told by many men if your not slim NOT curvy or a little over IF YOUR NOT A SLIM STICK size 2,4,0 lol your not getting a message that goes for all races most men because of the way soecity has made it (models) but there are a few men who like something to hold on to(a little meat) but very hard to find those and then they get very very picky lol

  293. Passion4Fashion says:

    Honstly I feel like the whole SD/SB lifestyle has been misused and misunderstood I think many people have different ideas what it means and most are very wrong which I believe has made it harder to find a real meaningful arrangement

  294. travelersb says:

    ok, so let’s get thin thin thin! Seriously, I had some very great arrangements and I am not thin. I am 150 lbs.

  295. travelersb says:

    If you have no money and need help, maybe you could find a real boyfriend around you It could probably be more rewarding. Lot of men come here because they don’t want the risponsabilities of having a girlfriend. the commitment, the ”I miss you” the pression, ect…

  296. Passion4Fashion says:

    lol lets do it I love to do zumba have you tried it?

  297. Passion4Fashion says:

    I dont have time for the I miss yous and etc.. that comes along with having a boyfriend I go to school fulltime thats a job all by itself besides no man wants to my boyfriend and help me financially why do you think I came here lol for the finanical help going to school is not cheap but also to experience having fun with a man without him asking me what im doing 24/7 plus im young getting advice with life/mntoring would be great

  298. travelersb says:

    ahah, no I haven’t. The real thing is the crossfit, but it takes one who is a bit nut in the head to do it ahahah!. I tried it before the summer and I will start back in september. That was the hardest workout I ever did! That with the paleo alimentation and you’ll get fit in two months…

  299. Passion4Fashion says:

    Really how much did you lose??

  300. SD4ONE says:

    @Danielle
    “SD’s in general seem to want SB’s who fit the tall, blonde, Caucasian, very thin “mold”,”

    Certainly not what’s on my list. I’ve seen one blonde only and none of my dates have fit the very thin mold. I have to wonder if most SD’s like a few curves. Personally, I like the exotic look and that seems to rarely come from a thin, tall blonde Caucasian woman. (I might be influenced by the fact that I’m only 5’6″!) :-)

    By far, the most important things for me are chemistry, personality and attitude. Having said that a woman who dresses well and prepares herself for dates by dressing sexy and getting ready is very appealing.

  301. travelersb says:

    I did it for one month ( 5 months ago) and I lost 10 lbs. Unfortunatly, I have stop it, it is really hard to stickly follow it, but I know that it would be the best lifestyle to adopt. I am not doing it at the moment. I had a long trip ( 2 months) with a sd who wasn’t really eating healthyly and I had my exams before that so really, all the sports and alimentation care have took the side since 3 months lol. I have to get back into it.

    But seriously, no carbs, no sugar, lot of proteins and vegetables, lot of water and not too many fruits, that’S the start. ok ok, I am bad, I am giving advises and I am not doing it myself I know. But really, look online about it, it’s a good diet and you should never be starving with this diet. Everybody that I know who is doing that just seems to feel so good and light and full of energy.

  302. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Here’s an interesting article entitled Rules of Attraction:

    http://www.livescience.com/7023-rules-attraction-game-love.html

    Take the time to read it and have your profile reflect this knowledge. Have a closeup of your face to show it’s symmetry and play up the feminine features especially the eyes. Have a photo that shows off your hourglass figure/good hip to waist ratio whether it be in a bathing suit or clothes that flatter this shape. So you see…you don’t have to be a size 2.

    If you do this but still have a poorly written profile, all your work to take a beautiful picture will be for naught.

    The rest of the article will help when you are meeting in person but don’t forget to always look your best.

  303. hotsb says:

    @travelersb
    Yes i’m in Paris, la capitale de la mode. We have to represent.

    @Pasion4Fashion
    I’m 21 and i signed on this website when i was 18.
    I’ve received lots of nasty and rude messages and it took me 2 years to go on real dates with real sugar daddies. It takes time.
    I was struggling too at the time and i would go on dates with fake ones and still got money from them even though it wasn’t much it helped. And i also used the website what’s your price while still waiting to find a sugar daddy. I will get between 100 euros and 300 euros for a date so i suggest you do the same. Just put in your profile that you’re easy going and that people love to be around you because you’re a very positive person and you have a great sense of humour. As soon as i changed my profile and wrote this i was getting lots of offers. So try that.
    And one thing i forgot to write before, NEVER SLEEP WITH THEM ON THE FIRST FEW DATES;you don’t want them buying into the stereotype that black women are unclassy.
    I know it’s hard when you don’t have money, i wasn’t able to eat everyday in the beginning
    But i sucked it up and stayed strong.
    So try this for the next few months, and if you really don’t have any improvment, i wouldn’t mind helping you a little bit via pay pal if you have a pay pal account. I know what it’s like to be in that situation but know that you can make it work.
    So work on your appearance, maybe it’s your style which doesn’t appeal to them,i don’t know , what do you think?
    Don’t wear any crazy colors, stay classic.
    Spend a little more time on what’s your price i suggest.

  304. NY DULCE says:

    @ New SB
    Always dress classy in the beginning especially when negotiating allowances…You need to wear designer clothes when first meeting they won’t care or notice as long as your looking good. I say show off your best attribute: be it legs,a hint of cleavage or shoulders etc… and keep the rest cute and conservative. You don’t want to look desperate or like your trying too hard. Watch the makeup. Men do not like woman who over do it with the makeup or look “fake”.
    Now once the arrangement is done and he request for you to dress a lil more sexy or scandalous and you are comfortable with it go ahead.

  305. Miss D says:

    @ travelersb, no I don’t speak french, I can understand very little if it is spoken slowly. I’m trying to learn, I so regret sleeping in french class.lol, Come to Toronto @ travelersb, I’ll show you around, even though I don’t know much about it myself. I live in the suburbs, but I go downtown at least once a month.

    @ everyone, I had a pot sd who was so nice, he told me all this stuff and now he has disappeared, on a business trip, I don’t know ? Who knows, but everything was great and he has gone missing. We have not even had a first meeting, we connected and it has been so hard to set anything up. We first exchanged emails almost 5 weeks ago . I tried emailing him and texting him only once every few days to see if his okay, no reply. It’s been since Saturday, I should leave it huh and move on right? Like SDs, do you let an sb know if your going to be out of town, if your workload is busy or I’m I just asking for to much here lol.

  306. Miss D says:

    *correction tried calling him, not emailing him, now I sound like a stalker

  307. VASD says:

    @Miss D easy, don’t overdo it. You’ve lft your messages–if he’s gonna get back to you, he’ll get back to you. Part of the appeal (at least to me) of SD/SB is the lack of pressure—provided everyone is living up to what’s been agreed to, ohpefully up front.

  308. Miss D says:

    @VASD your right, I think I needed that reality check. Your right, backing away slowly. I guess I got a little confused because this person has made it a point in the past to let me know a lot about his personal life and what he is doing without me even asking for it. I guess, I was use to it, but your right backing away once again. Thanx

  309. NY DULCE says:

    Sorry typo.You DONT need wear designer clothes when meeting.lol
    He is not caring long as you look good enough to eat but sweet enough to meet his people:)
    Hot SB that is very sweet of you to offer help ( Sure your not a Sugar Mama lol)
    This is really starting to feel like a community an SBSD support group of sorts.
    Very excited to take a newbie under my arms.Hope I can be to some use also :)
    SD4one
    Hola Papi ;) Totally agree chemistry tops “good looks” any day. I’d rather have a genuine connection with an average looking guy with imperfections. receding hairline, belly or even shorter than me -I’m 5’6 also. Than tolerate a good looking jerk who doesn’t know how to treat a lady.
    Ps.One of my friends is BBW and she got men running in circles for her.there are men with money who like curves just gotta find them.Maybe find a baller! Hmm if you can handle cocky men that is a good option. Plenty of successful Black professionals in NYC. Del Friscos steak house is a hot spot for business men, athletes and sports team managers.

  310. Chantay says:

    To all the ebony SBs:

    This site hasn’t really been very…open, in my finding, lol.

    Then again, I’ve only been here a month.

    There ARE men here (of all ethnicities) who love and may even prefer African-American women. As a matter of fact, I’m engaging in a delightful conversation with one right now who clearly stated in his profile, “I have a weakness for African-American females.” He’s Caucasian, by the way.

    Don’t be discouraged! You can’t expect to find someone overnight. It’s going to take time, and showboating of your BEST quality or qualities! Be sure to list your hobbies, your goals, your dreams, what type of relationship you’re looking for, etc. Don’t rattle off on a long list of things, but be straightforward, and honest.

    Don’t be afraid to reach out to the SDs either.

    I have not met anyone on this site, but there are other sites I’ve signed up at at the same time, and I had a wonderful meeting yesterday with a potential SD. He was adorable, and could not take his eyes off me. When I smiled or laughed, he seemed to light up–it was incredible! When we first kissed, I thought I was going to turn into mush. There was so much respect in the way he touched me, and even in his kiss…he rushed right into talk about when we’d meet again, and how often.

    Looking at his picture, I remember thinking he would not be open to a Black female (he looked like the type that liked his women White, 18-21, blonde haired and blue eyed), but he actually said he’s turned on by women of color, especially with curves in the right places.

    They exist! Just don’t get frustrated, and hang in there!

  311. travelersb says:

    @ Miss D, I’ll definetly let you know when i’ll be in Toronto. I have a sugar daddy who comes in Toronto from times to times and I go see him when he is there. During the day, he works … obviously so we could hang out together. Should be next month maybe.

  312. travelersb says:

    good morning everybody!

  313. Miss D says:

    @travelersb, that would be awesome, you let me know when your down here, I will def. not mind showing you around, it would be nice to meet a fellow sb. It would probably be great for you to do something while your sd is busy working too. I’m going to keep my fingers crossed that I find a great sd too by that time, so I can show you some nice spots.

  314. Naughty Molly says:

    Good morning my sweet SD/SBs! How are all of you today?

  315. flyr says:

    There’s a lot of talk about not getting contacts. Part of it is the times, the number of women here and other stuff but it is clear that SB’s are being contacted and slipping off into the program.

    For those not getting enough responses I would enroll in the verified program . At its early stage they seem to have the same photos day after day with only limited substitution. For $50 it may be a good investment. Yes, I do not like the program but I think it offers a short term advertising advantage

    Just my opinion but I think multiple photos with very different looks (hair color) confuse men. It’s fine to have different hair styles, dress and background but some consistency conveys a better message.

    The color and density of the background is critical. Dress to show your best and every budget can afford a smile. Make it your best- happy, sensual or surprised . The “I hope you ate your Wheaties today smile is always appropriate.

    Deep in the SD brain there is a little documented QC center that filters all SB profiles – it’s responsibilities include decoding the messages and pictures to create a vision of how the SB would relate in public, how will she look when I unwrap the package, is this going to be crazy fun?

  316. travelersb says:

    Hi Anna Molly! Did you go to Six Flags yet?

  317. Chantay says:

    That’s great advice, flyr!

  318. travelersb says:

    I just have rewrite my profile and I am waiting for the approval! Maybe this one will attract more guys :) But I think that the prob is that my profile is old and I haven’t log in for 6 months during the time I had a sugardaddy so, now I think it’s like lost in so many others at the end of all searchs.

  319. travelersb says:

    how do I do to write to SA for them to approve my goddamn profile?? it makes 3 days I wait :(

  320. WCSD says:

    I completely agree with flyr in his points above.

    One other thing, is understanding how a SD searches for a SB. Here is my ‘approach’:

    Generally, I first look for any ‘new’ profiles within the areas I’m searching. After that, I’ll look for the most recent online in the same areas. It is from those two searches that I’ll narrow down who I’m going to contact. I will occasionally look in new areas, but again it would be the same approach. So, refreshing your profile occasionally (because that makes it ‘new’) and being online often would make your profile pop up under my ‘radar’.

    As has been also stated above, yes we all (not just SDs) have a ‘preference’ when we are looking at profiles. Things we find sexy, or catch our eye. But, that doesn’t mean if someone contacts me that doesn’t normally fit my ‘profile’ that things haven’t progressed. Sure if you are WAY outside if it, but I’m a strong believer in every person is unique, and every relationship is unique.

    If we were looking for the same thing every time, then there would never be divorces or people cheating would there?

  321. Chocolatebunny says:

    Buon pomeriggio Ladies!

    @NYDULCE- That would have been a great experience! Don’t let distance stop you! Plus he’s 20 years younger! Heck yaa! Oh btw I received your email and I replied back =).

  322. travelersb says:

    I have a question for all sds. If a girl that you really like and have respect for finds herself in a horrible financial situation. At the point of not being able to eat or buying soap. Would you lose respect for her if she asks you money even though you cannot sleep with her (because of the distance). Would you lose respect because she has put herself in that situation?

  323. Simplicity says:

    Thank you all so much for your help! I did some major profile tweaking and now I am getting great results. Flyer, BEB, SD4ONE really know their stuff if you other newbies listen to them it will really help you out.

  324. WCSD says:

    @Travelersb – As someone I respect has told me in the past ‘don’t let a SBs problems become your problems’. Does this mean a straight no answer all the time? Not necessarily, BUT if I gave people money every time they asked for it, or had a ‘dire’ situation that required it, I’d have run out of money many years ago. This doesn’t just go for SBs, but also friends and even family.

  325. travelersb says:

    @WCSD – thank you for your answer. I don’t really mind if he says yes or no. I’m more worried about what he would think of me.

  326. Miss D says:

    @ Travelersb I changed my profile July 26 and it’s still pending today. I went to support and write them like honeybee suggested. We will see what happens, however this is telling me that perhaps SA is getting a lot more profiles to approve.

  327. JillyBean says:

    Another Question:

    Still a bit “new “(Ive had only one quite generous SD in the past that just fell into my lap, a few platonic per need basis ones on the side at various points)

    If I’m communicating with and have exchanged details with a pot SD on the site, and have planned a big trip in several weeks (cant be any sooner). We are very interested in each other, and he seems very sweet. He offered an amount for that trip.

    My question is if I am in somewhat of a “need”, is it wrong to ask for some money prior to that trip? We haven’t met yet, but have exchanged quite a few lengthy emails for the past few weeks and our trip is set in stone. Every detail has been confirmed as well. I always feel awkward asking, but obviously it has to be done some time, right?

  328. WCSD says:

    @travelersb – I guess it depends on what and how you say it. Also it doesn’t sound like this is a SD, but just more an ‘online’ friend, so in the end, does it matter if you happen to ‘offend him’ and he doesn’t talk to you again? Not that you obviously want that (or I expect that) to happen, but really worst case that is what happens, and is that a big loss for you?

    To me it is also almost more important to understand how a person isn’t going to get into another financial situation down the road again, than the helping the first time.

  329. WCSD says:

    *isn’t a SD – yeah that typo makes it not make sense.

  330. flyr says:

    @traveler

    I’ll disagree a little with WCSD,

    If you have an SD whom you have been with for some time then for me it is a pretty easy call – yes, that’s one of the reasons you have an SD. (slay dragons) AND you are absolutely , positively certain that you will make it up to him in ways he has not dreamed of.

    If it’s a just started relationship then my history is pretty bad , perhaps 1-4 reappear. But there’s value in the information.

    Relationship that’s not been consummated – from the SD view the odds are 30:1 that it’s money down the drain.

    Assuming your motives are pure as driven snow, the world of the SD is filled with send cash now SB’s

    Good luck

  331. Simplicity says:

    @jillybean IMO I would never ask for money from a SD that is not confirmed (in an arrangement with you) and I have never met in person. It makes you seem kind of money hungry and needy ,not that you are not in need, it is just the wrong kind of first impression, and yes even though you have exchanged emails and so on you are still in a meet and greet situation.

  332. WCSD says:

    @flyr – I would agree with your first statement “been with for some time”, other than I’d add that during that time has shown to be financially responsible. If during that time you have been spending all your allowance on toys and bags and dresses, etc. and not socking some ‘rainy day’ amount away, then that is a big factor (for me). If this is truly unique, and went over your rainy day fund and asked for help (with a good history) then yes, that would be a no brainer.

  333. travelersb says:

    @WCSD – thank you for all your answer… I will avoid going in the details here since I don’t want to expose all my personnal life here :)

  334. PhoneGuy says:

    @travelersb,
    I think every SD is going to give a different answer here. Some guys say no money/allowance before you meet. Some say they never spend more than X% of allowance before sex.

    I’m sure it depends on how well you know each other and how long you have talked for (and how much you are asking for). I would assume if you ask for money to eat for a week you are more likely to get it and if you ask for more (rent for the month, groceries for the month), you are less likely. The odds vary with the person you ask.

    Will you lose respect? Again it will vary with the person and with your explanation of how you got to where you are.

    Good luck.

  335. travelersb says:

    @ flyr and WCSD – ok…. heres’ the details. I have met him 2 times for weekends in the lasts 6 months. We both did have the best sex of our life and we are in touch (emails, phone, text, chat) everyweek. He gave me money the 2 times I saw him but it was for shopping and extra stuff. I have never show any weakness to him and I truly care to keep him. I don’t want him to see me as a needy woman. I feel ashame and drama or problem are the last things he wants to hear about. It would be a big loss if he loses respect for me. But, at the same time, I would not asks that to anybody else than him.

  336. Simplicity says:

    @travelersb your situation is very different from others. Does he know the kind of financial issues you are having? If he does and he has not offered i would not ask. However, if he does not know, and you guys are close, maybe mentioning it to him could lead to him offering instead of you having to ask. Don’t be dramatic about it or run on just mention it.

  337. flyr says:

    Meets my definition of OK , word it carefully and tell him how much you value his respect and if he feels uncomfortable that’s ok.

    One of the questions going through his mind is will there be another request. If you can explain why this is a one time event.

  338. travelersb says:

    thank you very much flyr. ans Simplicity and everybody. I will follow your suggestions.

  339. WCSD says:

    @travelersb – A lot of it also depends on what you are asking for (as PhoneGuy mentioned). Also if you have anything planned to see each other in the future (and then suggest not having the shopping and extra stuff for that fun time). Really, it is almost impossible to tell how he will react. You do have a history together, which is good.

    I also agree with Simplicity, mention it, and move on. If he picks up on it great, otherwise he is steering clear for his own reasons.

  340. Simplicity says:

    @travelersb – good luck, If you have good history i am sure it is not going to be as bad as you are thinking it will be.

    @Flyer thank you again for all of your help.

  341. VASD says:

    On the traveler/flyr/Phoneguy/Simplicity discussion… Here’s my approach on how I set things up.
    Perhaps I’m a Neaderthal, but full sugar doesn’t start flowing from me until full sugar is flowing from her–quid pro quo. I am quite happy to meet for drinks, lunches or dinners if someone I’m interested in wants to get to know me better before an overnight (i.e. ‘full sugar’). I like to have all parameters fully understood up front (if it’s gifting, an allowance or per date arrangement, how much, timing of payments or gifting, minimum frequency of get-togethers). Regardless, I usually start with a pay-per-date until we’re both confident that it’s a go for the long term (if that’s what it was meant to be in the first place). I have been burned in the past when pot SBs have taken the money and run–never to be heard from again. I have NEVER not lived up to my side of the agreement. I have certainly let arrangements lapse when they don’t feel like they’re working. I enjoy helping young ladies, but I HATE feeling like an ATM. I consider the agreed upon pay-per-date or allowance as a baseline, but will often give additional gifts on top of that–if it’s someone I genuinely like/respect/admire, I want them to have something to remember me by : )
    As per travelersb’s case, I have been asked for extra help in ‘emergency’ situations. Fimne in an established arrangement, but I got burned for 3 grand by someone I’d only started a relationship with.
    Hope that veiw gives some idea of perspectives.

  342. NY DULCE says:

    I agree with Chantay that is great advice Flyr for pages with pics.I started off with no pics and I got a decent amount responses but had to stop emailing pics cuz this idiot started spamming me. I prefer the mystery and allure of getting to know the individual Then seeing what they look like. The suspense is exciting to me. And I like a man who is discreet so I do respond to guys no pics cuz I know they are hiding something also and will keep my naughty secrets ;)

    TO SDs ADVICE PLS:
    I am debating whether to put ” Married” as my status or not.Right now I have it as Single.I want to be honest but don’t know whether that will help or hurt my page. I dont want every cheating husband to contact me and I don’t know if guys will be scared my husband will come beat them up ( which won’t happen I promise). So Guys what do you think? Would you contact a married woman? in her 20′s ?

    Jack I know I’m late but Bald + Muscles= Sexy. If you don’t got the muscles don’t bother. That’s just my opinion.

  343. VASD says:

    @NY DULCE As an SD, I would prefer to know you were married. I am and it’s in my profile. There are very few SB posts that I see that show ‘married’ status, but your query makes me wonder if at least a few are hiding.
    In my SD history I have only knowingly contacted a married SB once. We met for drinks a few times and enjoyed each other’s company, but never—err–consumated the relationship. We did, however, have a lengthy email relationship after she moved away.
    Honestly, my primary concern would be that it might kinda get in the way. “Goodnight, honey. Off to spend the night with my Sugar Daddy.” In my situation, my wife and I have a don’t-ask-don’t-tell understanding. She doesn’t want to know about any extracuriculars and obviously doesn’t want them getting in the way of our relationship. Consequently, I limit my arrangements to specific periods when we’re apart–either her travel away or my trips to other cities.

  344. PhoneGuy says:

    “Hi, I’m married. Should I put that I’m married?”
    This feels like a trick question. I’m going to go with “Yes!”. ;-)
    I wish everyone would just be honest in their profile.

    Will it hurt you? My guess is yes, a bit. I assume most SDs would prefer a non-married SB. I’ve seen SB profiles that say they prefer a married guy. They think that it will help the guy not fall for them and not want to get too close. I’ve seen SB profiles that say they don’t want anything to do with a married guy.

    I’ve considered contacting girls who say they are married and their husbands know and support what they are doing. But it seems like an added complication though so I have never done it.
    I’ve never seriously considered contacting a girl who lists “married” but makes no mention of it in her profile. I guess that is something that I think deserves a comment or explanation. Double standard? Probably.

    I would drop my SB if I found out she was married and didn’t tell me. Regardless of how certain you are that your husband won’t attack me, I think I get to decide the level of risk I want to take in my life.

  345. VASD says:

    Yeah, what Phoneguy said. I decide my own comfort level of risk

  346. JillyBean says:

    Would it turn most SB off to here a SD WILL NOT ever provide an allowance? I have been contacted by one who has made it clear many times that he wont, and only will cover spa trips or dinner.

    Im not sure that will fly for most SB on SA…He isnt particularly attractive, personality wise or physical. What strikes me as off, is that he keeps bringing it up without provocation. And I dont think spa trips will help on a truly “rainy day”

    Am I right?

  347. JillyBean says:

    *hear (darn auto correct)

  348. Naughty Molly says:

    I had married on my profile and while I might have gotten more emails if I said I was single, it didn’t affect my ability to find a SD. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to lie about your marrital status, you should always be upfront about it and it shows that you’re an honest person! I would hate to think I was going out with a single person only later to find out that wasn’t true.

    I’m separated now though and updated that on my profile. :)

  349. SD4ONE says:

    travelersb and others
    This is an very interesting subject. I’m with VASD a bit on this one. I think initial dates are just that – getting to know each other, I pay for everything and small gifts – SORT OF like pay-per-date. My reasoning is why would a guy want to treat a new date any different than that? This is just being civil.

    If the chemistry is there, more details including financial need arise and they may arise before and sugar flows my way. I love sex as much as the next guy but I love women more, their company, conversations, etc. Sex comes when we’re both ready and that may be a while.

    So to answer your question travelersb, “If a girl that you really like and have respect for finds herself in a horrible financial situation. … Would you lose respect for her if she asks you money even though you cannot sleep with her?” The reason behind the need is everything. If I respect a PERSON (girl, guy, etc.) and I saw the need, I would probably help out and not lose respect.

    Having said that, money definitely changes things. I have been enjoying a very nice relationship with a young woman. Great company, smart, funny, loves to come over and cook together and great sex. Paid for some of her bigger bills and noticed a cooling off almost immediately. It’s not a great feeling for sure and in this situation, I am losing respect for her a little bit.

    This is kind of a Golden Rule thing isn’t it? Just because we call these relationships SD/SB kindness and respect are still just as important.

  350. SD4ONE says:

    JillyBean
    You know, the allowance thing is what I’m most uncomfortable with. I suspect a lot of guys feel the same way. I would much prefer to treat the woman (SB if you insist on calling her that) very well and covering some of her big bills when needed.

    An allowance to me just seems too much like I’m hiring someone for company and sex. You know – like an escort!! :-)

    I get what SA is all about. I just don’t think it has to be about an allowance. (I’m ready to be shot down on this opinion so let the bullets fly!!) :-)

  351. Naughty Molly says:

    SD4ONE ~ I get what you’re saying. Honestly, I even hate the term SD/SB, it just sounds too…I don’t know….someone help me out. LOL

    I have a different approach than some. I want to find a guy whith whom I can spend quality time with, have fun with, laugh…uh hummm…among other things, if you get my drift. Sure, a nice “gift” to help out with things is amazing, but, I want the “gift” to come from the heart, because he cares…not because he feels like he has to.

  352. travelersb says:

    @ SD4one – Every situation is different, but I had to quit my job to follow my sd in his trips. The rent still needed to be paid during that time and I had no income. The allowance in that case was something that I consider like essential. Nothing is free in that world and to have a young woman who is there for you when you want and when you need is not free neither.
    I think that any NSA relationship outside of the sugar bowl is unfair to women in general so the allowance is the only way to make it fair and to keep things NSA for everybody because like you said, it’s cooling off a little bit things.

  353. travelersb says:

    I have the same approach than you Naughty Molly. I agree that a regular allowance is something that should come after a little while. When there is already an attachment.

  354. travelersb says:

    However, there are so many guys who are going to try to benefit from a girl who is genious and honnest that it is very important to set some rules from the beginning and to never sleep with a guy for free. It’s kind of touchy.

  355. SD4ONE says:

    Naughty Molly – I hate SD/SB too. The word you’re looking for is Cheesy – it just sounds too cheesy! So, let me get this straight you “spend quality time, have fun, laugh and hummmm” together? Is that because you can’t sing? ;-) (Sorry)
    I like your approach very much. The gift should always come from the heart.

    traveler sb – I completely understand. If it gets to that – quitting your job to follow the guy then he better be ready to make up for your losses. you’re so right that every situation is different. My travels with dates have been brief so their incomes, etc. have not been impacted. If they were, an allowance would make sense.

  356. travelersb says:

    @SD4ONE – maybe their income have been impacted but they don’t want to talk about it because they are already thankful that you bring them in a trip. They maybe refused to replace someone at their job or they maybe just spent money in the way to come meet you or bought clothes prior to the trip to look good and appropriate when they are with you. At the end, if a girl doesn’t get any extra money, after the trip, she will still be struggleling and not really have receives help.

  357. Naughty Molly says:

    SD4ONE ~~ LOL, no, I can’t sing, well, not very well anyway. I was into theater when I was a kid, (chorus, ballet and a few speaking parts) but, if you don’t practice, you loose it! LOL!! I only sing in the shower or in the car now and maybe if I’m drunk enough I’ll do karaoke…LOL. :D

    xxoo

  358. Naughty Molly says:

    Well, the singing part I take back…I can sing, and quit lout as a matter of fact! It goes back to my theater days I suppose. We were taught to project so I can be very loud! LOL, I miss being into theater! I was a Water Sprite and chorus leader in a major show…I loved it and miss it. :)

  359. Naughty Molly says:

    *loud*

  360. Naughty Molly says:

    Fact of the matter is, I don’t want ANYONE to give me something that isn’t heart felt. I don’t want to feel like I’m just antohrer commadity. I want my guy to take real interest, not play a game where he “pretends” to care, but its only interested in the “end result”

  361. Naughty Molly says:

    Where is everyone? I posted and everyone took off? !!!

  362. Naughty Molly says:

    OOO, I just got a kindle fire….I’ve read “Room” “Abraham Linclon Vampire Hunter”, Pride Predujice and Zombies” What else should I read………..I’m not into the “Fifty Shades of Grey” I hate chick movies or books. I like horror, gore and all that good stuf. I’m thinking “It” by Stephen King. :)

    Any suggestions?

  363. Naughty Molly says:

    I do apologize for any typos. :)

  364. travelersb says:

    guys want the same thing from us. They want us to proove that we are not only interested in the ”end result” which is money in our case. The arrangement never last for long if it’s not the case anyway and that go both ways. But what’s the point of giving sex when there is no advantage for us to it? Let’s just go sleep with whoever we meet around us , who buy us some drinks and has a minimun to turn us on then…. that doesn’t make sense. If I share intimates moments with someone and that someone has 1000 times more income than me, I will expect him to care about me and my situation. Sex is something enough intimate and private that it deserves to have a bit more of each other lifestyle to be exchanged.

    I am not saying that trips and special experiences doesn’t worth our time and our gratitude. Just that in many case, it is not enough because we don’t have improve our situation after it.

    Like someone was saying on the blog some months ago, ”why give my vagina for free when I can have money for”. If receiving an allowance from a man with whom I sleep with makes me a hooker, then I prefer that than being a ”free hooker”…

  365. travelersb says:

    have you seen the movie of ” Abraham Lincoln Vampire hunter” ?
    No fifty shades, you are right… that’s a bad book.. poorly written and boring because of all their love declarations

  366. HoneyBee says:

    @TravelerSB- Definitely true. If the girl is not in a stable place (in which 85% are not and just don’t say it out loud), she’s spending money somewhere that she can’t afford to spend and if you ‘gift or allowance” is not replacing it and then some, she’s losing.

    Many guys (forget the term SD) because it happens in the traditional relationship/marriage too. The cost of us getting “made up” for you is not free to us if it’s not on your expense. NOT SAYING ALL IS LIKE THAT SO PLEASE DONT MISINTERPRET what im saying.

    Ex: My friend went to meet with a pot a few days ago who lives about a hr away from her. Basically another city within the city. Anywho, gas wise she couldnt afford to, but she went. She said after dinner he walked her to her car. He stood in the doorway while she cranked the car, looked at her gas meter and saw the gas light was on, and asked her if she wanted gas money. She said no because she thought it was wrong to accept any money just for a simple m/g but some girls are like that. He said ok, kissed her and walked off. She had to use some money she didnt have to spend to get home.

    MY OPINION- He should have given her the money anyway. Seriously, if you think/knew someone could afford something they obviously NEED NOT WANT, but NEED, do you think there would be a RED LIGHT there?

    Just my little opinion though

  367. sbsanfrandiddle says:

    just poking in to say hellooo :) sugar love to sugars one and all.

  368. TravelMuse says:

    @Chantay: This is a response I received yesterday….from a SD I’d written

    I know I am probably missing meeting many wonderfull ladies, But I am not comfortable dating black woman. Thanks for your kind words though.

  369. flyr says:

    @traveler “However, there are so many guys who are going to try to benefit from a girl who is genious and honnest that it is very important to set some rules from the beginning and to never sleep with a guy for free. It’s kind of touchy.”

    Pretty wild Thursday afternoon here. Perhaps its the water.

    Some additional, rambling thoughts

    I think SB’s would be happier if they forget the concept of obligation based on capability and focus on mutual interests. The fact that an SD can meet your financial aspirations or is a billionaire is somewhat irrelevant to reasonable expectations.

    Imagine the situation were reversed. You are sitting in a bar waiting for your very late investment banker , SD. Two barstools down is a Marine mid 30s. You gather from pieces of his conversation with the bartender that he is headed back for his 5th tour in Afghanistan, his wife has run off with some metrosexual liberal arts professor and he is miserable. Are you obligated to take him home and screw his brains out because you have the assets. I think the answer is only if you want to.

    I believe it was Midwest who noted that these relationships have a high mortality rate at the 2 and 6 month intervals. Relationships with married SD’s are usually only one discovery away from termination. Thus, rule 1 is never give up your day job or your education for a sugar relationship unless there is enough in the bank to get back to where you were . In today’s economy this is even more important.

    The second issue is to not send mixed messages. Women excel in sending messages that men are incapable of decoding. If honesty will not work you are with the wrong sugar .

    Unless you have a secure job and cash in the bank, your emphasis should be on solvency not spa treatments, name restaurants or fancy bags. OK an occasional splurge is fine. I think most SD can accept this, but some reinforcement helps. Don’t let living the make believe life put you in the poorhouse or someplace you do not want to be.

    Those of us who travel a lot or entertain are probably happier at the neighborhood Thai, Mexican or Sushi restaurant or better yet a meal at home with shared cooking. Perhaps interrupted by sex on the countertop..

    You also control the most important part of this equation, selection of the SD. If you drove, did he offer to take care of your gas and take care of your valet parking and the tip. Did he open the door for you? Did he let you finish your sentence and then ask a followup question rather than shifting the conversation.

    For the SB who is not living on a trust fund or a large salary, an allowance probably has a high value. The arguments against are trust and motivation. Do you think the SB is going to run off with your allowance or do you think the allowance will become an entitlement? My personal take is that if you are worried about this either you have the wrong SB or perhaps the SB concept is not what you need.

    Some find that taking the financial transaction out of the encounter with an allowance makes it a far more comfortable relationship. The SB knows that some part of the rent, childcare, car payment etc are covered. . Other SBs find sensual satisfaction in folding the bills and stuffing them in their pocket.

    There are a few truths – life is unfair, deal with it…………

  370. flyr says:

    @Honeybee “MY OPINION- He should have given her the money anyway. Seriously, if you think/knew someone could afford something they obviously NEED NOT WANT, but NEED, do you think there would be a RED LIGHT there?”

    See note above regarding mixed messages, she said no rather than that is a very generous offer and I accept, I’ll bring homemade cookies to our next date.

    . Remember men have been beaten over the head with no means no for the last 30 years.

  371. NYDULCE says:

    And how am I sure your wife won’t come after me.Come to think of it, it’s a risk on both ends.Women can be animals.
    I think I’m gonna update my status and tell the truth and get it out from the start. Maybe it will increase my chances of getting someone I can be eye to eye with. I’ve had several SDs try to make me their girlfriend and I’ve had to break a couple of hearts :( I just want to take a break from stresses and responsibilities of being Mom and Wife (can I get an Amen!) and feel my age! When my husband and I met I had an SD and he knows I still keep contact with him thats not an issue.My former Sd and I were together throughout our entire relationship from our marriage and even through having a child…… Anyway so ill change it at least my pot will know I dont want anything serious, and if the Sugar goes sour I won’t cause any drama or try to ruin his rep because I have a rep to protect as well.

  372. Red Blooded Woman says:

    Men don’t take hints ladies !!! Helloo… You have to be straight up. You think he has time to try to figure out what’s going on in your head, your every need and want.In between work and the kids and his wife and anything else you think Daddy has time to sit there and read minds? Men are slow you have to be clear with them. Yes Daddy. No Daddy. Gimme this Daddy!

  373. SD4ONE says:

    Naughty Molly
    Sorry for the delay in responding. I was singing in the shower while reading Shades of Grey. Can I say the book made me wet (or was it the shower)? ;-)
    Sorry but if you hate chick movies that means you hate The Devil Wears Prada and I’m not sure if we can be friends any more. Oh Meryl, ignore Molly. She knows not what she says.
    “Fact of the matter is, I don’t want ANYONE to give me something that isn’t heart felt.” Amen. I guess that’s one reason I don’t like the allowance idea. It just lacks the emotion IMHO.

    Honeybee – what’s wrong with that story? “My friend went to meet with a pot a few days ago who lives about a hr away from her.” Isn’t that a bad sign already? Why is he asking her to come to him? Doesn’t a guy come to the lady? OK – I’m old fashioned but I can’t imagine this – is he ordering a pizza? Is this place your order and SB will arrive? Why is she driving an hour to see a POT SD? The issue of him paying her gas should not have come up because she should not have paid a dime for the first meeting. All expenses should be incurred by the SD for the first several meetings until the comfort and trust are built. I’m just sayin’

  374. SD4ONE says:

    Red Blooded Woman
    Really? What are you hinting at? Could you be more clear? ;-)

  375. Billyap says:

    Definition of a SD: A slang term for a man who offers money or gifts to a younger person in return for companionship or sexual favors. (Wikipedia)
    I wonder how many SBs are aware of this especially the sexual favors part. Most SB profiles only mention what the SB wants i.e. $$$ but few SBs are even aware of providing sexual favors. Many even mention sex is out of the Q but they want the money – in many profiles they even expect $$$ for free. I always read the words ‘Spoil me’ ‘Deserve to be spoiled’ ‘Need $$$ now’ and so on as headings for SB profiles.
    Let’s get one thing clear. This isn’t a strictly money for sex site as some may think. As one SB who knows what a mutually beneficial arrangement means I quote: ‘It’s bringing a modern approach to old fashion dating….I want X amount of dollars per month and you want sensuality, beauty and pose all in the bed and out.’ I guess this about sums it. For you ladies on this site who are only looking for $$$, remember this is not a money for free site. So stop thinking of freeloading on some old rich man. don’t treat a SD like a money tree and you’d better be prepared for a mutually beneficial relationship – not a one-way street relationship.

  376. JillyBean says:

    @BillyAP-I think all of that were “givens”, but did it ever occur to you that the way you come off might also factor in to whether the SB/pot SB will actually *want* to sleep with you?

    I have noticed a ton of men who want to deny an allowance, and just pay for dinners in return for sexual favors…That is a traditional relationship lol. That is not why I, and many others, are on the site for.

    Sure, I understand what you mean by all the seemingly self centered women on here, but the problem runs both ways.

  377. JillyBean says:

    *those

  378. Billyap says:

    @JillyBean For your info, when I first joined this site I met a so-called SB in Honolulu. Buying her lunch and dinner was no big deal. But I got really mad when, after taking her for a $7000 shopping spree at the Ala Moana Shopping Center she mentioned she would not sleep with me for the nite as we only knew each other for less than 72 hours and hoped I understood it. I didn’t even mention about sex at all. The next day, she called my hotel and asked me to buy her a dress from Louis Vuitton and I only hanged up on her. A few months later, she emailed me to ask to borrow $4000. I was already bitten once and I did not bother to reply to her email.
    Another nasty experience was in Australia when I met this girl (I wouldn’t call her a SB) who met up for me for dinner and asked for $800 after I already gave her $200. She just said goodnite after dinner and went home. Never did I bring up sex during dinner. After I returned to the States guess what she did. She emailed me for money. I told her to drop dead.
    These are the women I am referring to. I now have to siphon off most profiles and favorites the profiles where the SBs mention intimacy openly in their profiles. At least I don’t have to be taken for a ride and yes, I did meet many wonderful SBs.
    I won’t deny that the problem runs both ways. There are fake men with no money on this site just as there are gold digging freeloaders looking for some rich mature guy to take for a ride.

  379. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Re: gas money….say what you mean and mean what you say. If you can’t tell a man you need gas money how on earth can you tell him what you like in bed! As much as some think it’s all about pleasing the SD between the sheets, a man likes a confident woman who knows what she likes in bed. Our pleasure is their pleasure. Don’t be shy girls; tell him what you desire. It will turn him on; both in and out of the bedroom.

  380. Simplicity says:

    Get em BEB lol.
    As far as the gas situation goes there are like 50 red flags and if your friend did not see those flags she might need some help. 1. Never go all the way to a SD. 2.If you meet a SD he should offer gas money beforehand. 3. If he offers and you need it, don’t be a fool, say yes. ( you would not turn down a expensive shopping spree ) Personally I don’t do m/g further than 20 min away, for women who are not close to anything that may be hard, when I was living out in the country I met a pot SD with a basket of food at a park less than 10 min from me and he still gave me gas money. Now I am right outside of DC and travel a little bit further to get to the nicer restaurants ,but still stay within my 20 min travel time.

  381. SD4ONE says:

    Billyap
    Sorry you had such bad experiences. However, you seem to be skipping over a key word – “or” – in the definition. “… a man who offers money OR gifts to a younger person in return for companionship OR sexual favors.”

    That implies guys don’t necessarily offer money and women don’t necessarily sleep with you. I think that’s the reason these relationships take some time to develop – we need to understand each others’ expectations over a little bit of time. As JillyBean says so well – it’s just not safe to assume that the lady will *want* to sleep with you.

    JillyBean, you’re right when you say that this site is not one for traditional relationships. Ladies are here often because they would like some financial support, guys because we can afford to offer it and we want to meet women we may not meet otherwise (younger, more attractive than we’d meet otherwise). Dinners for sexual favors makes little sense on the site. Guys should expect to be helping out and that often means paying some bills, writing a check or two, etc. It does NOT necessarily mean an allowance though!

    Billyap, personally, I wouldn’t spend $7k on a shopping trip without an understanding of where we’re going with the day and evening. I’ve suggested the agenda for the day – EG “shopping and then I was hoping you would spend the night.” Wouldn’t clear communication have avoided your situation?

    My 2 cents – the Honolulu experience could have been handled better by you. the Australia one just sounds like you met a dishonest person.

  382. SD4ONE says:

    Blue Eyed Beauty
    “Don’t be shy girls; tell him what you desire. It will turn him on; both in and out of the bedroom.”- again – so smart – you really say it like it is ;-)

    Communicate ladies and gentlemen! We should not assume what the other person wants – especially not on SA. This site and the arrangements require clear communication!

    Simplicity – I like your advice. In an earlier post I suggested that the guy should always pick the lady up. That post ignored the privacy issue so I think your advice is better.

    All these smart women on the site. Should we guys feel intimidated of excited? ;-)

  383. SD4ONE says:

    or

  384. Simplicity says:

    SD4ONE- I love intimidating guys it just makes my body happy in all the right places. :)

  385. hotsb says:

    @SD4ONE
    It seems to me that you expect sex when you spend money on a girl.
    How is that not prostitution?
    Because you’re basicaly paying for sex. Right? Be honest.
    In my opinion there is no exchange in a sugar daddy/sugar baby relashionship.
    The allowance comes from someone who’s generous and who wants to help someone without expecting something in return.
    That’s why i test the sugar daddies i meet to see how they see things. If someone tells me “we go shopping and then i would like to spend the night with you ” ,it means to me that he sees it as an exchange which is prostitution whether it’s money or clothes.
    If the sugar daddy never mention sex in exange of something, i know he sees things as i see them, i separate the two, the money and the relashionship. It’s about finding someone you get along with and like spending time with. If he wants to be generous and help me out , that’s his call , it should come from him.
    I want to be intimate with him because i like him not because he’s giving me money.
    That’s why to me it’s a normal relashionship with someone who’s whealthy and who’s gonna want to pamper his partner obviously because he can afford it.
    I just think it’s sad. You are the perfect example of a man who’s not a real sugar daddy and who wants to pay for sex by pretending you’re not doing it.
    It’s pathetic.
    If you expect something in return when you give, you’re not generous.
    And don’t tell me that nothing is free in this world, because every year people give hundred of millions of dollars to charity, and they’re not getting anything in return
    If your intentions are not good, just keep your money. Don’t give it you really don’t want to.

  386. SD4ONE says:

    hotsb
    WOW! That was quite the attack. My comments were related to Billyap who was upset that he spent a bunch of money and then was told that his date would not sleep with him. The implication I took from that was that he EXPECTED her to do that because he spent the money.

    All I was trying to say was – communicate. If I thought the relationship was at a point where we might be intimate, I would say so – that’s all. I have just finished a relationship with a young lady that involved no sex – just friendship. I helped her with a car, with getting a job and many of her expenses. We never developed the right chemistry for intimacy so it never went there. We’re great friends and she’s leaving for a trip across the country, not for any other reason.

    In another relationship I had, the chemistry was there very quickly and we were intimate soon in our relationship. I helped her with some school expenses and tuition but that was not in payment for sex. It was just a way I could help her.

    Please try to keep in mind that online it’s sometimes hard to communicate well. Your words are harsh – “pathetic” – but you’re actually not right in your assessment of my intentions. However, if you’re determined to be mad at me, well not much I can do about that.

  387. flyr says:

    @BEB “Re: gas money….say what you mean and mean what you say. If you can’t tell a man you need gas money how on earth can you tell him what you like in bed! ”

    BEB Rocks

    My basic rule is if the SB has driven any distance I’ll simply hand her an envelope with 2x the estimated cost of gas and thank her for going to the effort. Perhaps following BEBs rationale is sends the message that you are anticipating her needs.

    I think there are times when it is appropriate for the SB to drive some distance to meet the SD at a place that may be near his place of work or home. Traffic is often an issue in one direction, the SD may be on a more time critical schedule or finally there may be a shared feeling that because they have talked so much, one meeting may be all that’s needed.

    @billyap “I wonder how many SBs are aware of this especially the sexual favors part. Most SB profiles only mention what the SB wants i.e. $$$ but few SBs are even aware of providing sexual favors.”

    That may be partially true, but the SB who does a profile all about her and her demands is probably one who is here complaining about the lack of response. In contrast the SB who paints a picture of both the SD she is looking for and the wondrous kingdom of pleasure that awaits the worthy will be sorting through many responses.

    Yes Platonic SD’s do exist and there are SB’s who are only interested in them. Other SB’s would prefer money without sex (perhaps with sex dangled out there like the carrot on the end of a pole) but I believe the vast majority expect to be in a sexual relationship and would like to have an SD partner who is attentive to their needs and pleasure.

  388. Simplicity says:

    @hotsb– to be quite honest your reading abilities need some attention. In no way what-so-ever did he convey that message.

    Billyap, personally, I wouldn’t spend $7k on a shopping trip without an understanding of where we’re going with the day and evening. I’ve suggested the agenda for the day – EG “shopping and then I was hoping you would spend the night.” Wouldn’t clear communication have avoided your situation?

    The key words here being in your situation. you might want to remember that before you attack a very nice guy.

  389. VASD says:

    @hotsb and @SD4ONE As per my above posts, I am a big believer in being very up front about expectations. My post is very explicit about wanting the full enchilada in a relationship and, yes, I expect there to be physical intimacy involved. I also emphasize that I’m very serious about it not being ALL about that, that I expect a fun, smart, intellectual exchange outside the bedroom, but that without the sex, it ain’t gonna fly.
    This is all very upfront in my profile and ladies who respond thank me for being so forthcoming. Anyone who responds to a query from me implies that that’s ok with them–apologies for my brashness to them for whom it’s not ok.

  390. Simplicity says:

    to all others sorry for the emotional tangent.

  391. Simplicity says:

    VASD– I completely agree, I have needs and if someone cannot fulfill them, then I know that is not the person for me. It is pretty cut and dry. I need to be stimulated on all levels for a arrangement to work and I am not afraid to say so.

  392. VASD says:

    @Simplicity I see you’re in DC area. Should some brash guy ever make you a proposal, could well be me! : )

  393. VASD says:

    …and don’t expect a $7k shopping trip up front!

  394. Simplicity says:

    Lol, I will keep that in mind. From what I see so far, I would be perfectly content with that as long as you are ok with me taking the reins when necessary. I know what I want, I know what I need, and I know how l like it and have not problem telling you.

    In other words you better not be a lesser man because you wont be able to handle me.

  395. Simplicity says:

    Are you kidding me I want $10k!!!!

    Lmao, sarcasm does not display well via internet. I am not one of those who believes she is entitled.

  396. VASD says:

    It’s all good. I like my women feisty, I want them to have opinions and be vocal about what we do together (in ALL arenas). Again, why I’m adamant about parameters up front is that, once set, the relationship is an equal partnership.

  397. VASD says:

    And we’re ALL entitled to respect.

  398. Simplicity says:

    I am all kinds of feisty.

    As far as the respect thing goes I believe that only those you respect others should be given respect and that eliminates 25% of the population of the U.S.

  399. SD4ONE says:

    Is it safe to come out again or should I lay low today? Seems to be a bit of a testy day for some! ;-)

  400. Billyap says:

    @hotsb
    No offense but you are exactly the kind of person who doesn’t know know what a mutually beneficial relationship is. This is not a charity site. After my first few misfortunes, I met many real SBs who remarked that they are many women on this site who don’t know what the role of a SB is. As you mentioned “In my opinion, there is no exchange in a SD/SB relationship. The allowance comes from someone who’s generous and who wants to help someone without expecting something in return………And don’t tell me nothing is free in this world because every year people give hundreds of millions of dollars to charity and they are not getting anything in return.” In that case, the women who are expecting money for free on this site should go to charity for their financial needs and not be finding ways to freeload on this site BECAUSE THIS SITE IS NOT A CHARITY SITE.
    And I reiterate – Definition of a SD: A slang term for a man who offers money or gifts to a younger person in exchange for companionship or sexual favors (Wikipedia). Go ahead and google ‘ sugar daddy definition’. Most of the definitions are about the same and/or not too far off.
    @Jillybean. No, not all of those I mentioned are ” givens”. I’m sure there are plenty of women on this site who think exactly like hotsb. That’s why I have to siphon off the freeloaders from the real SBs by reading their profiles.

  401. travelersb says:

    the controversy is started! :)
    I think that hotsb has been hard with her words but I think that most sbs are not looking for a hook up and they want a long term sugardaddy. That is what a sugardaddy should be. i.e. someone with who you take the time to create a spark and a chemistry. I’m sorry to say it but there is no amount of money that can create chemistry in 72 hours. @ Billyap, I would agree with SD4ONE that you could have handle that situation in a better way. Maybe that girl would have had incredible sex with you, but she simply wanted to take her time. I think that this mistake from you is equivalent to the mistake of an non-experimented sb who sleeps too fast because she wants the sugar…
    It seems like both men and women come here thinking that it is going to be easy and an aboundance of what they ”need”… Experience shows us that we have to be careful and express our need clearly ( that goes both way, for men and women).

  402. JillyBean says:

    @Billyap

    Well that is all YOUR prerogative. There are many uses for the site. I’m sure some “fake Sds” are here looking for cheap escorts, SBs looking for a payday, and even some looking for a LTR.

    Have fun using the new “Seach” feature if guaranteed sex is what you are looking for.

  403. travelersb says:

    I also agree with hotsb that it is frustrating to see a single man give millions of dollars to charity and not being open to give one penny to us if he gets nothing in return. In the other hand, it is not true that they give to charity just for fun, be sure that they get some kind of gains somewhere. Very rich people rarely give money just for fun. They didn’t build their fortune by being charitable. (In general) I know there are exceptions…

  404. JillyBean says:

    Also, Im not looking for a “handout”, but you are probably the type of SD I would totally avoid altogether, if spotted early. I understand the dynamics of the SA site, and sure, what you want falls under “mutually beneficial relationship”, but I would be inclined to run away fast…

    You seem very passive aggressive (which may be because you are upset about previous encounters), but that comes off as very rude to a SB potential. You may just be better off getting a FWB, girlfriend, or local escort if regular sex is what you want.

  405. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Everyone just needs to be themselves and express their needs clearly. Those personalities and needs will find like personalities and gifts and everyone will be happy.

    Trust your instincts. Those pebbles you see dropping now will become bricks later. Pay attention to those red flags. Only desperate people ignore red flags.

    As far as I’m concerned….everything but chemistry should be settled prior to the first meeting….and it’s no one’s fault if chemistry is not present….such is life.

    If you are not getting straight answers move on. They obviously don’t know what they are doing so don’t waste your time. My rule is if two of my emails goes unanswered I write him off. Always maintain your dignity.

  406. JillyBean says:

    @Billyap

    Last of all, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS READ PROFILES…the site isnt a huge harem of women who are dying to jump your bones…

  407. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Finger pointing does no one any good. Express your needs, if those needs are not being met, you have the choice to stay or leave. You are responsible for your own happiness. This should be particularly easy in this environment as it’s everyone’s option to move on, no muss, no fuss. Simple really. Don’t complicate things.

  408. NYDULCE says:

    TGIF! Hanging out with Chocolate Bunny. She’s a cutie ;) Having lunch then off to have drinks ;) Cheers !

  409. Red Blooded Woman says:

    I agree with what BEB said but I’ll add on this: A man is only as useful as you make him. We all try to Get as much as possible while doing as little work possible.Its human nature everybody wants it easy.Dont lie to yourself. If you had a choice between 2 identical SBs, one asking for 3k a month the other asking for 2.5k, you would the 2.5k girl! Without even thinking. And ladies 
    2 identical SDs both offering similar allowance. but one made it clear you Have to sleep with him the other says he “hopes you will comfortable to be intimate with him but you don’t Have to”… Need I say more.
    Both SDs and SBs in each scenario will get what they want but you can’t expect to get what you don’t ask for.
     
     I’ll steal Dulce’s way of using equations. Care x Generosity /Income= Amount of Assistance
    How much does your Sugar Daddy Care about you.Does he care about you at all or are you just a play thing? How naturally Generous is he? Genetics and life experiences affect how giving a person is willing. (There are studies on this but will not go into that now. I’m on my IPhone ugh) Those are factors You Cannot Change! However feeling care, trust and admiration can change that. It should give him empathy to Want to help you and give you what you truly want or deserve. This is a factor you can control because care, trust and admiration are something you earn. Income. Ok ladies now I’m gonna work some nerves. Careful now! Let’s not be quick to act like spoiled brats. Like Beyonce said don’t ever get to thinking your irreplaceable.Let’s be considerate and realize that these men have worked hard and undergone a lot of stress and sacrifice to get to where they are. Some SDs Still have to work! If your dreaming of Prada and all poor daddy can afford is HM dream on! Or move on to someone who can give it to you.Or take the HM in smiles :) Dont push the issue or try to make him feel bad it will only work against you I don’t feel entitled to anything rather when I recieve something from a man it’s because his desire to do so.Despite the name Baby we are adults and are solely responsible for our personal well being.Dont put that pressure on someone else it’s too much.

    With that said happy searching!

  410. travelersb says:

    @ Billyap. This is not a charity site, but there are many other things than sex that we give to an sd. Sex is only one way to make a man feel like a king. A good sb would know all the other ways to fulfill her man needs. If she does not… I would say that she falls into the escorts category. And if a man doesn’t value those ”other things”, his place is not on this site then.

  411. hotsb says:

    @SD4ONE
    First of all , i’m not determined to be mad at you. Why would i be? I’m just explaning something to you.
    You wrote and i quote:

    Billyap, personally, I wouldn’t spend $7k on a shopping trip WITHOUT AN UNDERSTANDING of where we’re going with the day and evening. I’ve suggested the agenda for the day – EG “SHOPPING and then I was hoping you would SPEND THE NIGHT.”

    So are you telling me that you were not implying sex?
    Who are you trying to kid? not me.

    What i’m saying is that it is ok to have sex but if you want to do it just because you spend money on someone it means that you want a return for your money. So to me that’s the behavior of a loser.

    @Billyap
    You didn’t understand what i wrote, i said that when you buy a present to someone in exchange of sex , it is prostitution. If that was your intention , it’s prostitution.
    If you are in a relashionship with someone and that you want to be intimate it’s great.
    But if the sugar daddy implies that you will only get money and shopping spree if you guys are intimate , he’s refering to an exchange then that’s protitution.
    And why are you trying to change what i said ?
    I never said that it was a charity website, it’s not.
    Like i said before, i do want to be intimate with the person i am with but if that person tells me you’ll get this if you do this or that it means that he sees that as an exchange.

    AND PLEASE STOP COPYING THE WEIRD DEFINITION OF A SUGAR DADDY SUGAR BABY RELATIONSHIP THAT THE MEDIA CREATED;
    IT HAS NEVER BEEN AN EXCHANGE, THEY MADE THAT UP TO MAKE SUGAR BABIES BELEIVE THAT IT’S AN EXCHANGE;

    If i decide to have a relashionship with a sugar daddy that’s because we get along and i would want to be intimate with him for this reason.
    It happens to be a website where men are generous, and i am too so it’s the perfect relashionship.
    But if you do it for money then you’re nothing but a ……
    And if you guys do it only for sex then you guys are nothing but….

    Just because it is written on wikipédia ,doesn’t mean it’s true. You’re so funny. How old are you again?

    AND I AM EXPECTING MONEY FOR FREE BECAUSE HE’S NOT BUYING ME OR MY TIME. OUR INTIMACY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT MONEY. THAT’S MY POINT;

    Me being intimate has nothing to do with someone’s wallet or the money he wants to give me that’s what i’m trying to explain.

    And the fact that you said:

    In that case, the women who are expecting money for free on this site should go to charity SAYS IT ALL; You want them to do something for that money, so you are not generous. You’re a Fake sd.
    Don’t be mad at me for telling the truth.

    I’M GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE TRY TO TWIST WHAT I’M SAYING;
    IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE IT’S GOOD AS LONG AS NOTHING IS BEING EXCHANGE; BOTH PARTNERS DO IT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO; NO ECHANGE; IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY; OTHEWISE YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS;

    I don’t understand why everytime i say nothing is being exchange , men always assume that it means that there is no intimacy. That’s not what i’m saying, there is intimacy between the two but it is SHARED; It’s not a give (money) and take (my body).

    do you understand now?

    @VASD
    Why do you always think that it means that sex is not a part of it?

    Please read the whole comment because i think it’s quite easy to understand.
    Once again i never said that there is no sex involved, but you guys absolutely want to say that i was implying that and it’s not true.

    I hope you guys understand what i was saying this whole time.
    And if not ask me and i’ll try to explain it again.

  412. hotsb says:

    @Travelersb

    I totally agree with you, that’s pretty much one of the things i was trying to explain, but they always want to make it seem that sex is out of the equation; and in reality i’s not.

  413. VASD says:

    Wow…testy, testy, testy.
    @hotsb My response is intended for my profile only. I post who I am and what I expect clearly up front, no hidden agendas, SBs can choose to take it or leave it. I’m sure there are plenty of SDs who don’t think like I do–I’m also certain there are plenty that DO think like I do.
    Your feelings/goals aren’t wrong for you, my feelings/goals aren’t wrong for me.
    This site is a forum, an exchange, matching each partner’s needs, desires assetts.
    Again, I get complimented frequently by pot SBs on my openess and frankness

  414. hotsb says:

    I’m not saying that rich people give money for fun , they give money because they want to.
    I know it’s hard to believe but some people have a good heart and good intentions and are very different from billyap.Just kidding.lol

  415. hotsb says:

    @VASD
    i’m just saying stop implying things that i didn’t say , that’s it.
    It’s great to be honest and i have no problem with intimacy ONCE AGAIN.

  416. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @hotsb – do you have a moral issue with prostitution or a legal issue?

  417. hotsb says:

    @VASD
    And if your feelings/goals are to pay in exchange of sex, It’s wrong!!!!
    Whether you’re Obama or anyone,i don’t care, it’s wrong.
    There are universal values.
    You say my feelings goals aren’t wrong for me.
    If you pay for sex, first that’s illegal and second that’s immoral.
    THANK GOD PEOPLE HAVE VALUES BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPENED!!!!!

  418. hotsb says:

    @ blue eyed beauty

    BOTH

  419. hotsb says:

    And i’m not even religious!!!

  420. hotsb says:

    I know that’s funny i said god!
    That’s because that’s the expession.

  421. travelersb says:

    I’m taking the risk that someone tells me again that I sound like an sd but..
    @ hotsb – why should they give money to you or to me or to any sexy sb instead of giving it to your neighboor, the 50 years old guy who has horrible back pain because he has work in the construction all his life to support his family or to anybody else??
    They give it because they want to yes… but they have to have some benefits to it… ( wich I agree with you doesn’t imply sex right away)
    And even if sex is not in the arrangement, the fact is that they give money because they WANT you.

  422. Simplicity says:

    I totally agree with travelersb. If they give you money it is one of three reasons…
    a. they pity you

    b. they care enough to want to see you happy and they want to be the one to make you happy (on all levels ladies,so don’t play coy).

    c. you’re a nag and they just want to shut you the hell up and get out of there.

    Personally I prefer b.

  423. flyr says:

    @Red Blood ” A man is only as useful as you make him. We all try to Get as much as possible while doing as little work possible”

    That sounds an awful lot like a hooker.

  424. flyr says:

    @ Red Blood (continued)

    I guess I have been lucky to have had SB’s who were the total opposite of that description.

  425. Teeny says:

    Good golly some interesting reading I just caught up on from the last few days. Lets see…
    On gas money. In a situation like that she she really should have spoke up. She could have said something like ” Im low on gas can we meet somewhere closer to me?” or have accepted his offer. Saying something like “actually yes that would be very helpfully/nice thank you” if her problem is accepting money for a meet and greet (even 20 bucks for gas) then she should have had him come to her side of town or waited til she has more gas. Just my opinion on the matter.

    On the whole money for sex vs money for free thing…
    The is no such thing as getting something for nothing. Every relationship is different but here is how I see it. If a SD gives his SB money or gifts he is most likely hoping for sex (might not be expected but he will still hope for it) or some other favor depending on the relationship. Maybe he just wants someone to cuddle with or house keeping or a home cooked meal, fact is there will always be some sort of motive behind it. Why do you think married men pay to remodel the kitchen or buy their wives jewelry?

  426. Simplicity says:

    LMAO–teeny great example!!

  427. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @hotsb – you are placing your own moral judgements on other people which is a fool’s errand. If you are so sure of your moral superiority I can only assume your family and friends know you are seeking an arrangement on this site?

    These are murky waters. We all have to live with the arrangements we ourselves make. Your attempts to insult members for their own decisions is not in the spirit of this website.

    I’m sure you and your SD sleep well at night with these notions dancing in your head; but don’t presume you know where the line in the sand is drawn. We are all very capable of drawing our own lines in the sand.

    I’m not sure if you are new but if you think you are illuminating the masses with your revelations, you couldn’t be more wrong. This subject has been discussed ad nauseum. It’s an old topic and quite a boring one. Move on.

  428. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    To the UK members – I wish you a successful Olympic Games!!! Cheerio :-)

  429. Simplicity says:

    BEB, I totally love you right now!

  430. Red Blooded Woman says:

    @ Flyer I was describing BOTH men and Women as being that way. And CLEARLY you were too Lazy to Read the second half of my post or just wanted to focus on what you thought was negative.Read my Entire post then come back with a proper response. I am not a hooker. I am a classy, educated women and will not tolerate any disrespect online or in person! People should watch what they say as well as what they write.Written words can hurt just as bad!!! I’m done with this site!

  431. hotsb says:

    @simplicity

    I agree with you, the right answer is b but i would change the end of the sentence.
    If what i wrote make you feel inferior, work on your self esteem because it has nothing to do with me being superior. Once again someone is trying to change the perspective of the conversation by saying that my morals are superiors. Not true.

    @blue eyed beauty

    I’m on this website but i’m looking for a relashionship.
    Don’t worry about my family, they know i’m on the website.
    You don’t have anything interesting to say , no point at all, so you bring my family up?
    That’s not cool but it won’t kill me.

    AND PLEASE I HAVEN’T INSULTED ANYONE;
    why would you make that up?

    I was talking to SD4ONE, VASD, billyad and travelerdb.
    If you’re not interested by what i have to say, don’t even bother writing me.

    And it makes you guys feel better,
    If you have sex with a guy for money , then everything is fine;Are you ok now
    Would you be able to sleep tonight?

    That’s funny because i have the exact same approach as Brandon Wade saying that it is not prostituton and that men who come on the website and try to get sex in exchange of money are fake sd and that they shouldn’t be here.
    And all of a sudden everybody here is trying to defend prostitution which is not advertised on the website.
    Now I’m wondering why you guys are really here for.
    Maybe you recognized yourself in the definition of prostitution and that you don’t want to accept it so you try to attack me because you don’t want to admitt it to yourself?
    I don’t know, that’s very weird.
    Everybody on the website and on the blog shouldn’t be having any problem with what i’m saying BECAUSE WHEN I HEAR MEN SAYING THAT THEY WON’T GIVE MONEY UNLESS THE SB SLEEPS WITH THEM, I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS WEBSITE IS ABOUT;
    AND THAT’S PRETTY MUCH MY POINT SINCE THE BEGINNING;

    And one last thing, i have the right to express myself like everybody else.
    If you disagree with it , it’s fine but don’t start talking about my family.
    Just say: you know what hotsb, i disagree with you because…… but don’t start talking s**t.

    I’ve never insulted anyone or attempted to and i’m not planning on doing so.

    When i said it’s pathetic, if you understood what i wrote, it was about this situation:
    a man paying for sex. i do think it’s pathetic. I was not taliking about SD4ONE but to him about this situation.
    And i still haven’t change my mind.

  432. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @hotsb – *yawn*

  433. hotsb says:

    @Flyer

    I agree with you about the hooker comment.

    @red blooded woman

    A man is only as useful as you make him. We all try to Get as much as possible while doing as little work possible. It’s human nature.

    I disagree with you.
    When it comes to relashionships i hope that nobody thinks that way, it would be so sad.
    I’m sure that in business it works, but when it comes to human beings, that’s just awful.
    I can’t stand people who thinks like that when it comes to relashionships .

  434. HoneyBee says:

    @FLYR and Red Blooded Woman- You say that as though ONLY WOMEN give missed messages. I was watching a tv show called Single Ladies in reference to which sex initiates a date who should what. It was said that when a man offers to take a woman on a date 85% of the time he is EXPECTING sex after, but if the WOMAN initiates a date the MAN THINKS it’s because she already wants sex. I did a short poll afterward to find a lot of men agree with that. Not to mention, men don’t come out directly and say I want to have sex with you, they buy you things to blindside you because they want sex in return. And that’s ANY relationship (traditional, marriage, SD/SB, etc) So don’t play it off as WOMEN give mix signals.

  435. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4ONE- No, I don’t think it’s a BAD sign if you are wiling to go to your POT, whether SD or SB. People are so tied up in the stereotypical SD/SB relationship like the SD is suppose to do EVERYTHING. Then what is there left for the woman to do except spread her legs? I’ve been told many times “ You seem like a great person that I wouldn’t mind to get to know, blah blah, etc, but the DISTANCE is an obstacle. But when I respond that you don’t always have to travel to me or initially to me, their perspectives of a possibility changes. I’m not sure why he asked her to come to him. I didn’t ask for the exact detail. No he did not order pizza, they cooked together at his home. So what you are saying is that you give a POT SB money on EVERY FIRST DATE? Whether it’s by covering her airfare or her driving two blocks to meet with you. Maybe you have a tight schedule and it’s better for her to get to you rather you to her, because most likely she has more leisure time. I partially agree with the fact that an SD should cover EVERY and ALL expenses on a FIRST date. That’s why a lot of girls go on the first date expecting money because of that very statement. I’m just sayin.

  436. HoneyBee says:

    @Red Blooded Woman- Just like WOMEN SHOULD be straight forward, so should men. Both sides send mix signals to each other and that’s been for centuries. Not every SD is married with kids so that doesn’t apply to the GENERAL situation.

  437. HoneyBee says:

    @BillyGap- if you splurge money like that to a complete stranger , that’s what they are going to expect. My friend gave me some very good advice. He told me “ If you let people know you have money, they will ask for it.” I’m not sure why after 72 hrs you would spend $7,000+ on a stranger you are merely trying to get to know. I say $7,000.00+ because I’m sure you covered the other expenses as well. *Sidenote* I would have put it down in the Shopping Center. All in the dressing room. Lol. Jj/k. But we would have went back to the room and tore it up. *Serious Note* I would advise you screen better. It’s easy to tell the real from the fake.

  438. Red Blooded Woman says:

    There are 2 parts to my post one is an observation and other is my opinion. because I point out something I observe or read in a study doesn’t make it my opinion…

  439. HoneyBee says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty- I understand that neither sex are mind readers.. although some are.. Why should anybody say they need gas money for a drive anywhere. How else is the car going to get you there? Would you accept a plane ride with not ticket? It’s one of those common sense things. How can you compare gas money to intimacy? It has NO correlation. I can tell you all day how I want you to do me but you still may fail in that chapter too. Hell sometimes I need to make a vagina map with a big something on the G-Spot and say I need you to get there!! LOL..

  440. hotsb says:

    @blue eyed beauty

    yawn= young and wonderful but normal

    I agree with you

  441. HoneyBee says:

    @ Simplicity- What 50 red flags are you referring to? Why not go all the way to an SD/Pot? Wouldn’t that be the reciprocal of the SD as well. Would it be fair to you to say he wont come all the way to you? No, because you (NOT YOU, GENERAL) would then say he can’t afford to come to me then he can’t afford what I am asking? Why should he offer gas before hand? It’s a meet and greet. In a traditional relationship, which is THE SAME DIFF TITLE, your POT bf invites you to the movies, but you guys meet there instead. He pays for EVERYTHING, but you don’t have any gas or barely enough to get you home. Would you also ask him for gas money as well? A lot of women like to take, but to take on a first offer seems a little off to me. Maybe its my opinion, but I’ve heard this a lot from a lot of successful SB’s because they don’t want to seem needy so quickly. It can give the wrong impression pending on how its perceived….*PICNIC* Awww! 8)…

  442. HoneyBee says:

    Re Charity : Rich people DO NOT give money to charity for fun! It’s a TAX WRITEOFF. SAME with the SB’s all the EXTRA SPLURSING is a TAX WRITEOFF. Wonderful topic of discussion. Let’s relate it to the SD/SB relationship.

    Is it frustrating as well if a SD chooses to spend thousands on a BOOB JOB for his SB rather than choose an SB in college pursuing a career and needs help with tuition?

  443. PhoneGuy says:

    Wow, feisty conversation today.

    @hotsb,
    >There are universal values.
    There may very well be universal values but this is not one of them. Prostitution is far from universally reviled. It is even legal in many places.

    I’m sure BillyAP realizes that taking his pot-SB on a $7K shopping spree before an arrangement is agreed to was a horrible mistake. Hell, I wouldn’t take anyone on a 7K shopping spree just because she had agreed to an arrangement.

    People can argue about what should motivate people and why someone should do something for another person. You can want someone to help you with bills or buy you stuff or give you money because they care about you and appreciate you. But no one can be motivated by love or caring or altruism after knowing someone for a day. Billy is at least honest about what he is looking for and he is obviously more generous than more.

  444. SD4ONE says:

    hotsb
    I understand that you are passionate but, with all due respect, the tone of your posts is very rough. We’re just expressing our opinions and I understand that you are too. However, to Simplicity you said “AND PLEASE I HAVEN’T INSULTED ANYONE; why would you make that up?”

    OK – let’s review.
    To me you said “You are the perfect example of a man who’s not a real sugar daddy and who wants to pay for sex by pretending you’re not doing it. It’s pathetic.” Was that a compliment? I took it as an insult but perhaps I’m way too sensitive. “If your intentions are not good, just keep your money. Don’t give it you really don’t want to.” I guess another compliment?

    To Billyap you said “Just because it is written on wikipédia ,doesn’t mean it’s true. You’re so funny. How old are you again?” Sounded just a LITTLE like an insult to me.

    To VASD you said “And if your feelings/goals are to pay in exchange of sex, It’s wrong!!!! Whether you’re Obama or anyone,i don’t care, it’s wrong.
    There are universal values. You say my feelings goals aren’t wrong for me.
    If you pay for sex, first that’s illegal and second that’s immoral.” Sounds like you really admire VASD’s opinion and, of course, you were not insulting him.

    I have to agree with Blue Eyed Beauty AGAIN…..*yawn* Give it a rest please hotsb.

  445. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Can someone verify hotsb’s age. From her comments and obvious naivete, I suspect she is underage.

  446. SD4ONE says:

    HoneyBee
    Your points on the first date and my comment about the guy paying for everything….”Then what is there left for the woman to do except spread her legs?” I REALLY didn’t mean to imply that!

    I think your post makes a lot of sense and perhaps (perhaps??) some of my old-fashioned thoughts are coming through!!! Thanks for giving me something to think about. You write very well and I find your posts interesting.

  447. hotsb says:

    @honey bee

    Are you telling me that people only give to charity to pay less taxes?
    It something that comes with it but i hope it’s not their motivations.

    Damn what is wrong with you guys?
    As if anything people do can’t come from a good place, everything has to be malicious with you guys,.

    I like to think that people are not like that, i hope they’re not.
    I do give money to charity and i’m not getting anything in return, i just feel good about helping people.

  448. HoneyBee says:

    @HotSB- I totally understand what you are saying. I had spoken with a Pot and he was telling me about other Pot SB’s that he was talking to. He told me how he spent X amount of money on her, gave her things, and they have an amazing connection, but it’s been over a month and she won’t sleep with him. He told me he is thinking about dropping her and it offended me because I felt like he was basically saying he did all that so she would sleep with him.

    My thing is for ANY type of man. I have to agree with HOTSB on this one. Especially MARRIED men. If you are entering an arrangment becuase you are not getting SEX at home then you are entering the WRONG SITE. Why spend so much money TRYING to PAY FOR SEX when you can get it home for FREE whether she is enjoying it or not. And get mad at the SB and stop seeing her because she WON’T have sex with you. What about your wife at home who stopped having sex with you? Does that mean you are going to divorce her and stop paying the bills around the house, her car, shoes, etc? NO!

    When people talk about INTIMACY in their profiles, it’s so OVER-RATED. Intimacy DOES NOT MEAN SEX! Yes, sometimes sex is apart of intimacy. What about cuddling, foreplay, just unimaginable intensity between TWO GENUINE LOVERS, etc. Is that NOT INTIMACY as well?

    As well the GAS situation–BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION. I was simply saying that not every woman is not confident in accepting things from a man at first, because she does not want to give the wrong impression. I NEVER said that my friend is NOT a CONFIDENT WOMAN, because she damn sure is. But it DOES NOT mean she is CONFIDENT in EVERY ASPECT of her life, in which NO ONE is.

    Thank you all for your feedback. I will relay the info and advice. You guys are amazing! 8)

  449. Teeny says:

    Quick fact on prostitution.. It is legal in more countries then it is illegal. There is also an initiative being proposed to the U.N for the legalization of prostitution. I for one see nothing wrong with it and Im a strong supporter for the legalization of prostitution and sex workers rights.

    Sugar babies may not be prostitutes but there is honestly a fine line. If prostitution in your eyes is immoral then having an affair with a married man (with or with out sex, with or without money) should also be immoral to you. No not all SDs are married but many are.

  450. hotsb says:

    @SD4ONE

    I have only one question.
    Just because it’s not a compliment does it mean it’s an insult?

    And that’s funny that you are not picking up what billyad said to me before i aswered him.
    Is there some favoritism?

    And you also didn’t pick up what blue eyed beaty said. Strange…..

    If you want to say these things , you can but say it to everybody.;
    And i’ll be fine with it.
    But don’t come here and tell me this when your friend billyad’s tone was way worse than mine, if you consider mine being bad.

    Be fair and i’ll respect what you have to say. If there’s a double standard, your opinion doen’t mean anything to me.

  451. Red Blooded Woman says:

    @ FELLOW BLOGGERS We humans are extremely complex and multidimensional. I was merely pointing out 1 side of our nature we each try to find convenience wherever possible.
    Here is the 2nd. Half of my 12:23pm post that so many overlooked:

    I’ll steal Dulce’s way of using equations. Care x Generosity /Income= Amount of Assistance
    How much does your Sugar Daddy Care about you.Does he care about you at all or are you just a play thing? How naturally Generous is he? Genetics and life experiences affect how giving a person is willing. (There are studies on this but will not go into that now. I’m on my IPhone ugh) Those are factors You Cannot Change! However feeling care, trust and admiration can change that. It should give him empathy to Want to help you and give you what you truly want or deserve. This is a factor you can control because care, trust and admiration are something you earn. Income. Ok ladies now I’m gonna work some nerves. Careful now! Let’s not be quick to act like spoiled brats. Like Beyonce said don’t ever get to thinking your irreplaceable.Let’s be considerate and realize that these men have worked hard and undergone a lot of stress and sacrifice to get to where they are. Some SDs Still have to work! If your dreaming of Prada and all poor daddy can afford is HM dream on! Or move on to someone who can give it to you.Or take the HM in smiles Dont push the issue or try to make him feel bad it will only work against you I don’t feel entitled to anything rather when I recieve something from a man it’s because his desire to do so.Despite the name Baby we are adults and are solely responsible for our personal well being.Dont put that pressure on someone else it’s too much.

    With that said happy searching!

  452. hotsb says:

    @Teeny
    I agree with you .That’s why i don’t date married men.

  453. SD4ONE says:

    hotsb.
    OK – I’ll be fair. I didn’t really consider Billyad’s comments.

    I’d like to move on now if you’re OK with that. No one should feel bad about participating on this site so, if I made you feel that way, I apologize. Have a great weekend and I hope to read your posts on other issues soon! :-)

  454. hotsb says:

    @honey bee

    when i say intimacy it is having sex.
    It’s the same thing.

  455. SD4ONE says:

    Dear Blog Goddesses
    Is it time to start a new blog? I have an idea for a topic. Should a SD/SB relationship be monogamous or polyamorous? Guess what my opinion is. ;-)

  456. hotsb says:

    @SD4ONE

    You didn’t make me feel bad at all . I’m just glad you’re being honest because a lot of people aren’t and try to twist what i say. So i’ll give you that.

    Have a great week-end and rest because i’ll be back on monday. lol.

  457. SD4ONE says:

    I’ll be ready for round two!! ;-)

  458. hotsb says:

    @SD4ONE

    monogamous.

  459. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4ONE – Lol. I’m just saying. Not in general! Lol.You are so funny. I didn’t mean to imply that either. But is one of those things that we are suppose to meet each other 90% / 90% (because NO ONE gives 100%). If I give 175% what do you have left but a measly easy 5%. Get my drift?

    I like to think I am very old fashion myself for my age, which is why I PREFER OLDER men, generally because we are on the SAME PAGE. Even in a traditional relationship I’d rather date someone who is 42 rather than 22.

    You always give me SOMETHING to think about, so why not return the favor? 8)

  460. Jack says:

    I’m always amazed at how black-and-white some people see the world. In reality, the people who see the world as black-and-white usually haven’t seen the world. For example (and I won’t direct my comments to any specific individuals because it furthers nothing to do so), prostitution is legal in much of the world–and as a practicing lawyer, I can tell you even in the US, prostitution is de facto legal. Does that make the billion-plus people in all of those other countries “wrong” about their view of prostitution?

    As a physician who spent nearly a quarter century in the ER, I can tell you that from a medical perspective–and if one’s goal is to help balance the budget and say, protect our schools–prostitution SHOULD be legal. What are the pluses of legalizing prostitution? HIV transmission will decrease, IV drug use will decrease, kids born with HIV and addicted to crack and other drugs will decrease, pimps (the scum of the earth) will be out of business, the prostitutes will keep a much larger percentage of their earnings–and billions of tax dollars will be collected. The only possible objection to legalizing prostitution is the “moral” one–but “morality” is not an immutable concept but rather one that varies from place to place, from person to person, and from decade to decade.

    Given that this country is NOT a theocracy, we each get to practice our morality and religion as we see it–not as someone else sees it–within the confines of the Golden Rule.

    Before anyone gets excited, I have never been to a prostitute and never will, so I’m not trying to protect my way of life, or anything, in making these comments. But I’ve never been gay either, and yet, if gays want to marry, hey, they should be able to. And I’ve never had an abortion (and don’t think I’ll ever need one given my gender), and yet, if a woman wants to have an abortion (within some medical limits, not “moral” ones imposed by others), she should be able to have it.

    Bringing the comments I have just made to bear on the spirited discussion by various posters above, can we all agree that

    (1) With millions of members on this site and many others that have similar functions, can’t we all agree that hundreds–if not thousands (or millions) of disparate views are represented by those members, which means that

    (2) One size does not fit all, which further means that

    (3) Some guys will be all focused on the sex in exchange of money (and if that is ALL that it is, it may fit the legal definition of prostitution, if anyone cares, but otherwise, it probably does not),

    (4) Some women (often called escorts) will be happy to take care of the above guys assuming a price can be agreed upon,

    (5) most guys and gals on the site will have varying interest levels in money/sugar and sex, none of which will be precisely defined by anyone in this blog or any other,

    (6) some guys and gals will have little or no interest in sex, and some other guys and gals will have no interest in money, but both those groups will be small, probably.

    How about it–does the above fairly summarize what we can all agree on?

    As to what we DISAGREE about, how are we doing on resolving those disagreements above?

    Jack

  461. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4ONE-POLY! I like me some women too..maybe tmi, but it is what it is

  462. HoneyBee says:

    @HotSB-Definitely respect that YOUR definition of INTIMACY is SEX, but mines isn’t and I would like to beg to differ for a few people. But it is what it is.

  463. SD4ONE says:

    Jack – my new hero. I can’t say prostitution is immoral but brushing your teeth side to side instead of up and down – that’s just sick man! There otta be a law!

    HoneyBee. Sorry – what’s tmi? (Remember I DID say I was old-fashioned).

  464. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @SD4One – arrangements are whatever you want them to be. There is no ‘should’.

  465. SD4ONE says:

    And Honeybee – 42 is not old!!!

  466. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4ONE-Now I know you are not that old-fashioned. lol.. TMI-Too Much Information

  467. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4ONE-I said OLDER not ELDER. lol.. Anything over 5yr+ diff is OLDER..lol..I like some grey hair and a maybe a pregnant man from time to time. At least he knows how to treat a lady. 8)

  468. SD4ONE says:

    BEB. You sound very Yoda-like tonight! ;-) You’re right – do or do not – there is no should.

    I guess I was trying to say. If you really liked a SD or SB and that person wanted to be monogamous would that make you happy or would you prefer it if they wanted to be polyamorous?

    Is there a “be?” ;-)

  469. SD4ONE says:

    HoneyBee. You like grey hair. HAIR?!? Your standards are way to high! :-(

  470. Chocolate bunny says:

    I had so much fun with NYDULCE !!! We gotta do it again!!

  471. SD4ONE says:

    too

  472. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – once again, very well said. In Canada, from what I understand, soliciting for the purposes of prostitution is illegal, but everything else is decriminalized. Strange I know.

    Personally I don’t think there’s anything immoral with prostitution and anyone who thinks it is immoral I frankly don’t have time for.

    I get very uncomfortable with the preaching of morals. It has NO place here. Ethics yes, but not morals.

  473. Simplicity says:

    What a day… enjoy your night, hopefully you will all have a sweet one.

  474. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @SD4ONE – My opinion on monogamy is if you want a SB to be monogamous, you’d better be prepared to be very generous if you expect her to stop her search, but ultimately that is up to her. I don’t expect monogamy but it is offered.

  475. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4ONE- I’m a tad bit confused. How do you mix grey hair with high standards?

  476. SD4ONE says:

    BEB – thanks for the comment. That’s what I’ve found to be true.

    Honeybee – that was just a bad joke. I was just suggesting that if you insist that your SD have ANY hair (grey or otherwise) you have high standards. Just an “almost bald guy joke!” :-)

  477. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4ONE–Looks don’t define true intensions of the heart. Although I must admit, that I have to be attracted to some physical aspect of you. Whether its your bald, all grey, all color hair, beautiful eyes, sexy lips, dimples, etc..You get the picture. I can’t be with you in ANY relationship of any-type if I’m ONLY attracted to what’s in your wallet or bank account. So shady and gold-digerrish. Even though you can dig for my gold..lol *Bad Sex Joke*

  478. travelersb says:

    @BEB – I was suspecting the same thing about hotsb… how old is she?… she’ll grow up, it’s ok

  479. travelersb says:

    @ hotsb – yes people give money to charity only for tax deduction. And when it is not for a money reason, it is for a question of power… They get good positions with making ”friends” that way… I know that you are young but don’t be too naive.

  480. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Jack I support your previous post 100%
    AND I think legal prostitution has one more positive function in a society – It helps to save/preserve families !

    it is better if a married guy go to a pro and satisfy his exotic sexual needs and be happy than he would get a divorce or get an affair and destroy his family.

  481. DelicateEbonySB says:

    So, if prostitution becomes legal… does that mean that if someone turns down a sex job, she won’t be able to collect unemployment?? Had to throw it out there…. lol

  482. DollfaceM says:

    I love this, it is very true. Being in the “sugar world” has given me so many opportunities to experience life in ways i never thought i could. It has most definitely changed my life.

  483. travelersb says:

    That blog was in fire ! :D
    thank you @ Jack for sharing all his wisedom

  484. flyr says:

    “” yes people give money to charity only for tax deduction.”"”

    I don’t know the author’s source but from decades of working with folks who are involved with hundreds of charities from name museums and universities to the USMC Scholarship fund to the ACLU there are a huge number of gifts given because somebody believes in the organization’s purpose, wants to say thinks or wants an organization to undertake a program that benefits the public.

    Yes there are substantial scams with respect to tax deductions for gifts but they are the exception.

    sugar related in that many SD contributions include a premium added because they want their SB to succeed in achieving her goals.

  485. travelersb says:

    @ flyr – I apologize, maybe I have talk too fast me too, my post wasn’t based on decades of observations. Maybe more on 5 years, and from my experience of what I’ve seen, Even though the intention seems genious, as soon as I dig a little bit, I see the links… the links of what that person received in exchange of his ”charity” and it ALWAYS have been something about power. But this is just me, I guess you know better since you’ve seen decades of it. I stay on my feeling that there are generaly something more than the firm believe in a school or in a hospital or any organization success that matters to the one who gives money.

    It’s the same thing with SD/SB relationships, yes men want to see their sb achieve her goals, but they still have some personnal interest in it.

  486. A VERY Disappointed Daddy says:

    Brandon,

    I am once again VERY disappointed with the way SeekingArrangement is handling the whole Verification thing. I was under the impression you understood our complaints, but I notice you have gone far and beyond here.

    When you first introduced this, you had a badge that said “Unverified” and you agreed to remove it, because it gave the wrong message.

    Now, I notice that unverified profiles now have this gigantic disclaimer that says:

    “This member is not verified, that means that you cannot be 100% sure they are who they say they are. Ask them to verify themselves, if they refuse…there may be something fishy going on. Learn more about Background Verification”

    This is just wrong. You are all but extorting members into using your verification service, and this is not even subtle. You’re basically saying that if someone isn’t verified, then they are evil and cannot be trusted.

    We’ve discussed many valid reasons why most of us don’t want to be verified, from privacy to security to just not wanting to do it. I’m disappointed that you would stoop to this level to try and push us to give you more money.

    I’ve been a member here since the early days, and have given you literally thousands of dollars over the years. If this kind of behavior keeps up, I will not be staying around much longer.

  487. JustAThought SD says:

    I finally took a day to myself, and had just enough energy to read through this huge post before bed. Whew, you guys are at it. Well, here’s my 2 cents.

    1.This is an arrangement site.Whatever 2 consenting adults do/decide without harm to others, feel free to continue. Morals/values are all relative to the perspective of the beholder. The same person that has a problem w/prostitution may not have a problem w/adultery. So ANYONE that says someone shouldn’t be on this site because they think an sb/sd should do this or that is foolish. You can only say what YOU would do in a particular situation. You can’t speak for every sb/sd. Every arrangement/relationship is unique to the individuals involved. And,if she didn’t want the gas money, she’s grown. It was her decision.(Please ladies say yes when you really mean yes.There will be time to confuse us later on.)

    2. I read all the time about how sb’s need to be properly compensated. Yet another problem of perspective and expectation. Sb’s scream devoutly about how no amount of money could make them sleep w/a guy, and how he’s a jerk for thinking his money is “all that.” Yet at the same time, too many of you put your p***y on a pedestal. It’s NOT his treasure, it’s yours. You’re the one trying to hold onto it til YOU’RE ready. His hard earned money is HIS treasure. The best relationships/arrangements communicate, understand, and share their prized possessions at a level where both parties are happy. Why should an SD send you on a 7k shopping spree and not get what he expected? You got what you wanted, and you’re happy.(If that’s not what you wanted then it’s your fault. So much you could have done with that.7k is a year’s rent in many states.) Why would any sd constantly send you money,gifts,dinners,and trips to rescue you from your reality, when you won’t rescue him from his?(Whether it’s companionship or sex.) Find out what he/she wants,you both agree,then follow through,both of you.Or you can both ease into it and not bitch about getting there.

    3.Good SD’s way outnumber decent SB’s.The same sb’s talking smack today are the same ones whining that they’re not getting any mail tomorrow. Use a little bit of tact and diplomacy instead of screaming about red flags,fake SD’s,and getting off the site. These sites aren’t just about YOU, what YOU want, and how YOU think the world should work. Besides, “real man/real sd” insults don’t work on “real men/real sd’s.” Remember life’s unfair…because everyone has their own whiny-assed opinion of fair.

    End of Rant.

  488. JustAThought SD says:

    This thread seems so much hotter than the 5reason sd thread.

  489. Jack says:

    JustAThoughtSD–did you mean to say this

    “Good SD’s way outnumber decent SB’s.”

    or did you mean the opposite?

    My experience has been the opposite.

    Agree with everything else you said.

    Jack

  490. JustAThought SD says:

    *Good SD’s ARE way outnumbered by decent SB’s.* is what I meant.

    Good catch Jack. Next time I’m in H-town, I owe you a drink.

  491. Simplicity says:

    this thread gets most SB’s talking about money which leads to butting heads over different views. But it makes for a very interesting read when you can’t sleep.

  492. Simplicity says:

    Have a nice night guys.

  493. SD Guru says:

    Looks like the blog survived a day of drama without too much damage. I’d like to remind everyone of the “Blog Etiquette”:

    Blog drama and personal attacks are not new, when it happens it’s not the first and it won’t be the last time. Cast of characters can come and go in this blog and there will always be fireworks. It usually starts off with people having differing opinions, then somewhere along the way some people interpreted things one way vs another, then it gets into a heated argument with people taking sides, then it doesn’t take much to spiral into name calling and personal attack, then people’s feeling get hurt, then….. well you get the idea.

    I think we can all agree this is a very active and sometimes entertaining blog. In a group of this size there is certainly a wide range of opinions which is very healthy. We can’t control how people choose to expresses themselves, so the only control we have is how we choose to react and respond to them.

    Here are some suggestions that could make our experience in this blog more constructive and enjoyable:

    1. Think before you hit the “submit” button. Ask yourself, how will my post be perceived by others? As I have said before, our reputation in this blog is our words, and it’s easy for others to see what we’re made of. If you disagree with something, do so with respect and class.

    2. Ignore the flame. In every online forum I have been a part of there are people who take pleasure in spewing off flame bait to get others all worked up. Don’t take the bait! The more you respond the messier it gets.

    3. Have a sense of humor and don’t take yourself too seriously. And by the same token, don’t take the other person too seriously either. Personal attack hurts, but in the grand scheme of things is it a big deal? Do we really have anything to prove to anyone here?

    Discussing differing opinions in a constructive manner is always welcome in the blog; however, personal attacks and name calling are not. We’re here to share our experiences and learn from each other, so let’s focus on doing that!!

  494. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Thank you SD Guru, Just a Thought SD, Jack and flyr for once again steadying the rocked boat.

    If it were only permitted to throw some passengers overboard…. *sigh*

    Ahoy!!! my maties arrrrrrrrrrrr

    PS: feel free to rip my bodice anytime ;-)

  495. flyr says:

    @Just A Thought –

    Thanks you for the gift of the discussion accelerating concept of POP, the exhibition of which can be known as POP Syndrome or simply POPS.

    The male affliction would then be known as MOPS.

    The relationship stability point occurs when POPS = MOPS

    Yes , out of chaos comes progress.

  496. hotsb says:

    @phone guy

    You are missing the point.
    I,myself will tell you that what billyap did was not the smartest thing to do.
    So we both agree on that.

    But he was mad about not getting sex and was saying:
    I spent 7k and she wouldn’t sleep with me.
    It means that his intentions were to sleep with her BECAUSE he spend 7k and not because they both wanted to. So he was trying to pay for sex. And that’s not what this website is about ONCE AGAIN;

    And you are right he is being honest. and i’m glad he is.
    And i am too. That’s why i said that he was basicaly trying to pay for sex by buying her chlothes.
    That’s all i’m saying.

    And you are talking about prostitution, it’s right, some countries are not against it.
    But it doesn’t mean that selling your body for money being wrong is not among universal values.
    It still is.

    Do you understand what i’ve been trying to say this whole time now?

    billyap got mad because i was calling him out about trying to pay for sex.
    I’m glad he’s honest, but i’m going to be honest too and tell it like it is.
    Read his answer and you’ll understand why i wrote what i wrote.

    If you have any other questions feel free to ask.

    Have a nice day.

  497. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Can someone tell me where one can find these ‘universal values’? Are they written down somewhere? Who is the author? Do they apply to the WHOLE universe? Is there an ‘opt out’ clause? What is the complete list of values?

  498. hotsb says:

    @blue eyed beauty

    Do some quick research on philosophy, and i’m sure that you’ll understand human-beings and values better.

    If you don’t see anything wrong with selling yourself , that’s your right and i respect that.

    For instance Im sure we all think here that men’s rights and women rights are among universal values.
    So are you telling me that just because some countries disagree with it, men’s rights and women’s rights are not one of our fondamental values?

    And for someone who’s really bored by everything i write, you’re still reading my comments….. they must be interisting after all…..

  499. hotsb says:

    @ blue eyed beauty

    I think you should know better.
    I don’t think that you need to schooled on RESPECT, INTEGRITY, HUMAN RIGHTS……

  500. hotsb says:

    AND SELF-RESPECT TOO.
    That’s not a list that you need to learn it should be instictive.
    I hope for you it is.

  501. hotsb says:

    instinctive

  502. hotsb says:

    I just want to say something, when i write in capital letter, it doesn’t mean i’m mad.
    I’m just insisting on some of my points.
    That’s it, i’m not mad or angry at all. It’s my way of highlighting something.
    I don’t want anyone thinking i’m screaming at them. That’s not the case.

  503. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Awwwww look…….someone’s been introduced to ‘Philosophy.’ How cute! You can bring a girl to a ‘philosophy’ class….but alas you can’t make her drink.

  504. SD4ONE says:

    I know the responsibilities will be huge but I feel I must step up. I hereby offer to be the holder of all Universal Values. If you are in doubt, run the question by me and I will tell you the answer.

    First Universal Value of The Day (UVD) is……
    The ideal height for a man is 5’6″ or shorter. On this, and all UVD’s, there is no debate. (A height tax will soon be applied to all males on the SA site in recognition of this universal value!)

    This is going to be easier than I thought! :-) (Just a joke folks – trying to lighten things up a bit here) :-)

  505. DelicateEbonySB says:

    We got it… we sell it…. and we still go it! Sweet… :P

  506. travelersb says:

    @hotsb…. Everything that you write follows a certain logic. You respect your own values and you are convinced of them. And that is a nice thing. It’s the expression of an ideal. However, life is not black and write like Jack said. It’s is more like grey. Your posts and your ideal also let us believe that you are really young. I am seriously curious to see how old your are.

  507. travelersb says:

    AFTTER % DAYS OF WAITING, my profile is FINAllly approved!!! That was kind of long…

  508. travelersb says:

    ‘*5 DAYS*

  509. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @SD4ONE – Oh mighty holder of Universal Values….can you tell me if said Universal Values are written on a stone tablet? I’d like to see them sometime. What’s the price of admission? Is there a concession stand on site?

  510. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @travelersb – I think hotsb volunteered previously that she is the tender age of 21, black and from Africa but lives in Paris. Not that this explains anything.

  511. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @travelersb – Oh…and hotsb has never had an arrangement. She has however been on this site since the more tender age of 19. I wouldn’t presume to suppose why she hasn’t been able to nail down an arrangement as yet but it might have to do with all her time in ‘Philosophy’ class.

  512. JustAThought SD says:

    @hotsb
    OK, now I have a thought just for you.
    1. Billyap fulfilled his part of the SD/SB thing by meeting her expectation.(Exceeding,actually.) She should have attempted to exceed his expectation if we’re using the “Treat me like you wanna be treated” golden rule value. I don’t care if it was sex,bdsm,whatever. AS LONG AS THEY AGREED TO IT. Of course,if they never made an agreement of exactly what he wanted,then that’s his bad news.

    2.How are you gonna “call someone out.” LOL That’s hilarious. This site is an alternative to conventional dating. It can be whatever 2 people can agree on. You can say “you wouldn’t do it, or see him,” but it’s foolish to lecture platitudes on a site about sex and money. Women MARRY for money all the time.Are you calling them whores too? Before you answer that, keep this in mind, you’re on this site for guys with money,not a Brokedaddy.You also said that at some point you may get intimate.You expect him to have/spend money like you want it; he expects you to give companionship and intimacy like he wants it. Shifting the timing and waiting 3 months, doesn’t make you any better than anyone else.Your life, you bang him when you want. So does that make you a golddigger,hypocrite,or a prostitute? I don’t know or care, but I’d want my 7k back if i were with you.(Until you felt you were “ready to take our arrangement to the next level.”) You’re not entitled to it by smiling in his face for the better part of 3 days if that’s not what he REALLY wanted.(Especially, since you got what you really wanted.) Maybe your honorable values and integrity would have compelled you to give it back because of such a misunderstanding, but I wouldn’t bet on it. Or maybe, you want to go back to being intimate with guys that make YOU pay for everything.

    3.Every relationship, no matter what type(friends,lovers,co-workers), is an exchange of something between 2 people. Sometimes it’s money, sex, protection, listening, safety, discipline, mentorship, a common pursuit, or host a of other things. EVERY relationship has some type of exchange. I can stand behind your idea of waiting to get intimate, but it won’t be for everyone.

  513. JustAThought SD says:

    @FLYR
    Let us not forget Post Woman Intimacy Passivity Disease, more commonly known as PWIPD or “P-Whipped.” (LOL)

    This is infinitely better than the pre-intimacy form of the disease known as TOPWhipped or Thought Of P-Whipped.

  514. flyr says:

    Let’s try this one more time.

    @hotsb “Everybody on the website and on the blog shouldn’t be having any problem with what i’m saying BECAUSE WHEN I HEAR MEN SAYING THAT THEY WON’T GIVE MONEY UNLESS THE SB SLEEPS WITH THEM, I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS WEBSITE IS ABOUT;
    AND THAT’S PRETTY MUCH MY POINT SINCE THE BEGINNING; ”

    Every day we are faced with the decision of if or where to spend money ( which is usually the product of our labor) new car, food, entertainment, charity, investment, education, lottery, Vegas………

    On the other side of the gender divide women are deciding who they might spend time with and whom they may sleep with plus who they want to sleep with. Some find the ego value of dating the college quarterback, movie star or other to be attractive. Since the beginning of time women have also been attracted to power and things that glitter. Others are attracted to intelligent or powerful people. Young students bearing gifts of pleasure have been a staple of the academic world for thousands of years.

    There are also women who would prefer a relationship that includes some economic assistance rather than a $500 dinners or Louie Viton bags. The assistance may be to put food on the table, pay tuition or pay off debt. From an economic standpoint such arrangements prevent economic waste. And as a side not help support our economy much more than flying somebody to France for a week in the countryside. The key ingredient is that it is a relationship rather than a single purpose, single meeting relationship.

    Yes, I would not take a date to France or even a week on the coast if there were not a mutual agreement that our relationship included sex. If you have been around the typical American college campus you’ll generally find and expectation that sex will follow N number of dates with N somewhere between 0.5 and 5 .

    While there are exceptions, most of the participants here , both male and female, are looking for a relationship that is somewhat conventional but also provides an economic component. Probably 95% expect that sex is involved. The wise SB’s realize that the mentoring may be more valuable. Many of the SB’s note in their profile that they are just tired of dating losers out of the local beer bar. Others want to experience things that are not typically associated with a young man’s lifestyle like an evening without TV or the concept of ladies first.

    If someone finds the values common to the vast majority of the folks here the problem may be that they are simply not in a comfortable place. Unless the folks are doing something truly evil it may be time to either sit quietly and listen or move on.

  515. JustAThought SD says:

    Re: Prostitution
    Don’t legalize it.As men we SHOULD know some restraint sometimes.There’s plenty of good stuff already out there free and paid. If a guy wants it like that and has money, dammit, it’s easy to find. Besides, strippers are doing a decent job of keeping families together. Get worked up, go home, do your wife, legit.(Or if the stipper’s a pro, problem still solved,but I hope you wrap that rascal.)

    Legalized, you’d have even more pimps,cuz “pimps don’t cry.” They do this illegally and don’t give a sht. Once legal, the title would just change to General Manager, and his “A” girl would be the Head Manager.

    I also think you’d have more disease. Men are sometimes easily lulled into a false sense of security.Just because she was tested by state regulators a month ago doesn’t mean she only took off her condom JUST for you this one time.

    Also, if it was legal nationwide, how would you enforce it everywhere all the time? We still have people riding around with no car insurance. Would pros have to carry liability insurance on their groins? As a customer would you ever want to collect on that policy for banging into her?

  516. JustAThought SD says:

    @BEB
    You can bring a girl to philosophy class, but you can’t make her drink a glass that is half full, or is it half empty?

  517. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    So what DID everyone think of the USA Olympic uniforms? :-)

  518. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @JATSD – I prefer to use the term decriminalize in relation to prostitution.

    …and personally I’m a half full kinda gal ;-)

  519. travelersb says:

    I’ve never been really blind on the fact that men are often unfaithful to their wife but that prostitution discussion and the fact that it makes many men who say that pros or strippers help keeping families together makes me wonder if it is possible to have a love marriage and a sane relationship.
    My question is : If your wife keeps herself sexy and attractive, smiles, is there for you, loves you, listens to you, takes care of your ego, gives you sex regularly, stimulates your mind, has a fun personality and you can laugh with her, would you still cheat? or would you cheat less?

  520. travelersb says:

    It’s a very hypotetic question, I don’t know who is married or not here, but I wonder for men in general.

  521. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Personally I think there is something to be said for an ‘open’ marriage….after children of course. And like a ‘mutually beneficial arrangement’, an ‘open’ marriage’s rules are decided by the two people involved. It can be anything they agree to, even polyamory. What’s right for one couple may not work for the next. As long as everything is up front, agreed to, lines of communication open, and needs expressed and met.

  522. DelicateEbonySB says:

    @JustAThought SD: I agree with you, prostitution should not be legalized in America.

    In my humble opinion, the ramifications of legalizing the exchange of sex for money would be detrimental to society as a whole. Families would be destroyed more than ever. Say, a lady loses a job and because prostitution becomes legal, she (who would have never ever thought of selling sex) would start doing it, because it would be a legal way of feeding her family.

    Her neighbors perhaps would start selling sex next door and bringing all kinds of strangers into the neighborhood where kids live and play. Brothels would start popping up in every corner, making ladies have “shifts”, being forced to sleep with hundreds of guys a month to receive their salary. Not mentioning women would revert to being seen as sex objects. Discrimination would escalate, because the lower classes would be the first ones to object themselves to sex work.

    African Americans and Hispanic women would probably become the first legal prostitutes, escalating the racial profiling. Legalizing prostitution would change the workplace environment, workplace laws and women rights. If anyone here still thinks legalizing prostitution would be a good idea…. think again.

  523. JustAThought SD says:

    @travelersb
    It’s in line with the “hallpass” ideology. If you haven’t seen the movie Hallpass, you should watch it. The idea is that as men age they still like to know that “they still got it.” Material things and comfort are in a woman’s nature. Strength,virility, and dominance are in a man’s nature. Here is one situation where women have the have the advantage. If you have an affluent husband or boyfriend, a really nice lodging, great car, and good sex w/your man to boot, you’ll be the envy of most of your girlfriends. As guys we can have all those things,plus power over other men, and still have to THINK we can have any girl we see.(To be the envy of all our buddies.)

    So, a “little” leeway in the right way is great. To me it’s great to know that I CAN have any woman on the planet, but CHOOSE to spend most of my time with the one that does the stuff in your post.

    Also, WOMEN STOP ACCIDENTALLY EMASCULATING YOUR MEN! Every time you use the “a REAL man would” sentence, he will set out to show you what “a man REALLY would” do i.e. find someone that won’t use such euphemisms. Notice, we hardly ever use “a real woman would.” Who would we complain to anyway? Guys don’t listen, and the only woman we could complain to is the one we’re complaining about. :P

  524. travelersb says:

    thank you JustAthoughtSD for your answer, it made me smile and it is an honest answer :)

  525. DelicateEbonySB says:

    Statistics show that in Germany where prostitution is legal, there are around 400,000 full or part time prostitutes. Basically, half million women selling sex. After prostitution was legalized in that country, drug used, violence and the number of brothels increases every year. In America that number would be at least 4 times worse, if that ever happens here.

  526. hotsb says:

    @SD4ONE

    I like when you’re funny!

  527. hotsb says:

    @blue eyed beauty

    I’m just saying that the majority of laws that exist have been influenced by morals. You cant’ deny that.
    And you can’t change how the world works.

    If i ask you : Do you agree with pedophilia?
    Your aswer will be: no i don’t
    And if i tell you: why are you judging them then? You shouldn’t because they think they’re not doing anything wrong.
    Your answer will the same as mine: it’s ILLEGAL AND IMMORAL.
    It would be the exact same thing for a murder.

    So don’t make it seem that i’m some kind of weirdo for saying that.
    All i’m saying is that A lot of what we do are influenced by morals.

    If you think that because i don’t agree with prostitution, because it’s illegal and immoral, that i am judging others, then you are too, because i’m sure you are against murders, pedophilia and other stuff.

    Will you at least admit it?

  528. Chantay says:

    Well holy shyt, what happened in here?! o_O

  529. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    You are so predictable hotsb. lol

    Pedophilia and murder is a far cry from what two consenting adults do in private.

    Do you consider homosexuality immoral too dear?

    I think you need to stop confusing human rights with values and morals. Perhaps they cover that in 3rd or 4th year philosophy courses. Be patient. You will figure it out some day.

  530. SD4ONE says:

    @Blue eyed Beauty’s questions answered:
    1 – can you tell me if said Universal Values are written on a stone tablet?
    No. I use crayons. Stone tools are too damned expensive!

    2 – I’d like to see them sometime.
    They will be revealed to you in time my child. Be patient.

    3 – What’s the price of admission?
    Very, very high. You may want to put this on the list of things your SD should cover.

    4 – Is there a concession stand on site?”
    Yes, and a “you have to be this short to enter sign”

    Keep the questions coming my child! ;-)

  531. travelersb says:

    we are influenced by morals but also by many other things that are not as ”philosophic”. Be a bit more realistic hotsb and take in consideration that what affects our acts in the first place are our needs. It’s a combination of a lot of things that regulates ours acts and the laws.

    Once again you fall into an absolute ideal. Even murders are not always in a black and white area. Pedophily is an other story though because it a desire (need) that hurts someone for the rest of his/her life… it’s taking a child childhood away and it is a victim who is totaly innocent and has no means to defend himself.

    In the case of a woman, she is not an innocent victim if she does prostitution.

  532. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @SD4ONE – thanks for answering my questions Mighty Holder of Universal Values. I know you are very busy what with indoctrinating the innocent with these values….but what kind of Universal Value merchandize to you sell? Nothing too kitschy I hope….

  533. Billyap says:

    @hotsb OK let’s give it a rest. I already know how to weed out the freeloaders and gold diggers from the real SBs as I mentioned earlier. And I am seeing a SB who gives me a great time in and out of the bedroom incl movies, sex, shopping, vacations and I can go on. It’s not all about her and how much $$$$ she can wrangle out of me. I guess that makes me a fake SD since I’m not giving her all the $$$ she wants out of my kindness without expecting anything in return. And I guess all the sugar daddy definitions from Google incl. Wikipedia are media B.S.
    I sincerely hope you’ll find your self-defined SD on this website – a rich guy who will blow his money on you out of his own kind heart and goodness and not expect anything in return. There’s one born every minute. And we can cross out the word ‘arrangement’ on this website.
    One last Q. If some rich guy asked you out for dinner and pays for it but tells you giving $$$ to you is out of the question, would you even want to see him?
    If I wanted strictly sex for my 7k, I wouldn’t see a SB (Don’t forget – she even had the guts to ask me for $4k a few months later). I’ll get more sex from a high class escort anytime. That’s how old and experienced I am.

  534. flyr says:

    Perhaps we could take (send) the discussion of politics and religion to a blog dedicated to that . Those interested in the subject could take the discussion elsewhere.

  535. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    here here flyr!!

  536. SD4ONE says:

    Blue Eyed Beauty
    Why yes, we do sell merchandise on the Universal Value site. Funny you should ask. Right now we have only one product and it is very nice. It’s a UVT – Universal Value Thong. I was trying one on the other day in preparation for the ties launch. Did you know there is a front AND and a back on those things? How embarrassing! ;-)

  537. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @SD4ONE – I trust the thong is not one size fits all?

  538. SD4ONE says:

    It stretches. :-)

    OK, I have to go now. I am meeting a young lady to go shopping, take in Shakespeare, dinner and the fireworks later tonight. We may talk philosophy when we’re done but I won´t mention sex or money. I don’t think I’ll ask her for gas for my car either! :-)

    This has been an interesting couple of days on the blog. Thanks hotsb for getting us going. (Is it just me or does anyone else wonder if hotsb is just pushing our buttons?) ;-)

  539. HoneyBee says:

    RE UNFAITHFUL MARRIAGE- My opinion is that once a marriage dies out if you two don’t want to divorce because it will be too costly or whatever, that you guys should agree to go POLY while still showing face to family and friends. Both parties are happy and satisfied. As for the MAN if you want an SB as your Poly then hopefully you are prepared to pay some of her monthly expenses as well. If not, I would just recommend the typical escort for your sporadic sexual desires.

  540. HoneyBee says:

    @SD40NE- You is absolutely correct. Men do not say “A REAL Woman would…”, but they separately categorize by saying ‘You Women”

  541. HoneyBee says:

    @BillyYap- Answer to Question “One last Q. If some rich guy asked you out for dinner and pays for it but tells you giving $$$ to you is out of the question, would you even want to see him?’
    *Yes, I would. No guy wants you to be interested in him just because he has money. Depending on where we go, if I could afford it, I may even replace his debit/cc with mines. Thus how will ideally give him reason to want to spend money on me, not strictly saying here’s X amount of money do what you want. Instead, we may be going out to lunch and he may surprise me by handing me a bag from something of some wish list website that I created or handing me a check pre-written to my Leasing Office. He’s not directly giving it to me, but it is FOR ME. That too me would be just as swell as giving me X amount of dollars to do what I want*

  542. HoneyBee says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty and SD40NE- I’m so butting in on this conversation! Can I please order one of the UVT in blue, red, and one in hot pink lace? I plan to attend a Future SD’s meeting with that on!

  543. HoneyBee says:

    @SD4One You BETTER NOT ask her for gas money! You’re the SD! You are SUPPOSE to pay for EVERYTHING!! Doesn’t that emasculate you well?! Lol

  544. travelersb says:

    @Billyap, dates with a rich men are not hard to find at all but at this moment what I want is an SD with an allowance, and that is the kind of relationship thatt interest me so no I would not go on a date with a man who is clear that he will never be a sugar daddy. Don’t get me wrong, I am not only interested in money, but a date with a rich man is not hard to find, since a sugardaddy is harder to find. I prefer to invest my time in what will make me get where I want to get. If we were going to dates with every rich men who offers for it, we would be in a date 4-5 times a week. I am not saying that those men are not interesting, just that there are too many of them. I am not a selfish sb who only wants to be spoil, I have a lot to offer in exchange of a good allowance.

  545. Tina says:

    Oh my, all that I have missed! Well, unfortunately it is a little too much for me to catch up on it all, so I will just say hello!

    And a special hello to Goooooroooo, Phone Guy, Midwestie Babe, Nawty, flyr and Jack.

    And where oh where is that naughty little mongrel Spot? Hmmmm?

    I have a few good things possibly bubbling in the background for me, so wish me luck. That’s why I haven’t been on much ;)

    Have a wonderful week my lovelies!

  546. Jack says:

    Hello back atcha, Tina!

    Some SB’s have inquired how SD’s feel about allowances, and since I have spent a fair bit of time thinking about this–and since my views on the topic have changed (in some respects) almost 180 degrees–I am going to post them here. Obviously, I speak for myself and do not pretend to represent the opnions of other SD’s.

    Since I started here a couple of months back, I have done two $5000+ trial arrangements. I ended both arrangements before the trial month was up, for different reasons, which I will not get into here. What I will get into here is how my view has changed substantially regarding high-dollar ($5000+) ladies (although I think these ideas apply to the $3000 to $5000 ladies as well).

    When I started here, I (stupidly—you will see why I say that a bit later in this post) thought that because money was not of great consequence to me, that I would not really worry about the amount of money the pot SB’s were asking for. In the case of both $5000+ trial arrangements, therefore, I had no concern meeting those dollar requests up front. But what these two arrangements taught me (a lesson I should have learned from my previous multi-million-dollar arrangement called my marriage) is that the more money you give someone, the less they appreciate you (I am sure there is an exception—but I am still looking for her!).

    As they say, “No good deed goes unpunished.”

    I believe this negative outcome in my two experiences was facilitated by the fact that I didn’t negotiate either request—because I find that negotiation unpleasant (even though anyone who knows me in business will tell you that nobody gets the better of me in a business negotiation) and because the amount of money was not substantial in my scheme of things.

    So why did I say “stupidly” above? Because dumb-ass me should have learned this lesson from my marriage. When I married my now-ex, she was a single mom making the median income, working full-time. I fell in love with her and married (for the first time, at age 47!). Even before we married, I paid off her $15,000 credit card debt and bought her a 3.5 carat diamond ring (I gave her the option to pick any ring she wanted and she later told me she couldn’t believe she didn’t pick a 5.5 carat flawless diamond that we had looked at). Shortly after we married, I bought her a $50,000 new car. During the marriage, she had an unlimited expense account. I didn’t do these things to buy her love—I believed that was already there—I did it because I loved her and thought she would appreciate these things. Unfortunately, over the first few years of the marriage, the more she spent (and we are talking millions of dollars in those first few years), the less respect I got. The lack of respect got to a point that she disappeared with our girls (from Houston to Calif) one day, and my divorce was on file the next day.

    A similar experience (but with several orders of magnitude fewer dollars) ensued with Trials #1 and #2. As to #1, although the intimacy was great, she never showed her appreciation in any other way. Didn’t offer to do the dishes when I cooked for her, never offered to cook for me or make a picnic lunch for us to have in some romantic setting, didn’t make me or bring me a single gift or token of appreciation, never offered a massage, never planned a single outing for us (even with me paying, planning an outing would have been totally cool, etc). And when I ended the arrangement, she got mad and . . . asked to borrow money . . . and got madder when I said no.

    As to Trial #2, it really wasn’t an arrangement–we were really approaching it as having the potential for a real relationship—but the principle above still applied. I offered to fly her out from Calif to spend a few days at my home in Houston, and she asked for (and I sent her) $5000 because (she argued) she would lose income by being away from her job and she wanted to be able to spend a week or more at my house if we hit it off. We talked a total of 15 hrs by phone in the three weeks before I flew her out—and the connection (by phone) was awesome. She is gorgeous, smart, athletic and more. I was quite surprised that on the day I figured she would get the check, I did not receive a call from her to confirm receipt (and maybe thank me?). I ended up calling her that night, and she still said nothing about the money until I asked about it 10 minutes into the conversation. Once we met, I did not sense respect, appreciation or even thanks. It was as if the money was expected—and more would be expected later. She said some things to me that were very disrespectful and dealbreakers for me. I put the kubosh on that relationship pronto—I felt that I had seen that movie before (actually, I had played a stupid starring role in that movie before).

    So where am I on this now? A few thoughts:

    1) Contrary to other SD’s (and I don’t begrudge them their opinion or criticize them for it), I still have no problem with an allowance—I understand that is a key desire for many of the ladies on this site, and I believe that there are some women in the world that will actually at least act like they appreciate it if give them a $2000 or $3000 monthly allowance. Frankly, I’d rather give an SB $2000 or $3000/month than buy her useless Louis Vuitton bags or Lobotomy shoes (yes, I misspelled that on purpose to highlight my view of spending $800 on a pair of shoes).

    2) I do not write to ANY women who ask for more than $5000/month on their profile because at that level, they are more interested in my money than they are in me—and I’ve been there, done that, ain’t doing it again.

    3) If a woman asking over $5000 writes me, I very nicely write her a response along the lines above, much more condensed, of course.

    4) I’ll never say never, but I highly doubt I will ever START an arrangement again at anything over $3000—and probably not even there. It might well grown later on, but I do not plan to start higher than $2000 to $3000. $3K tax-free equals over $50K in annual pre-tax earnings in the US, which is pretty close to the median, and if a woman thinks that she needs more from an arrangement than the average family lives on in the US, then she is more interested in the money than she is in me, and again, I ain’t doing that. In addition, I prefer women who are kicking ass in the work world, not someone who is dependent on an arrag=ngement as her fulltime “job.”

    5) As I stated in my profile, my goal for being here is to end up in more of a BF/GF relationship than an arrangement (that is my hope, not my expectation, and I am happy to do arrangements along the way until I find the right person for me). If that were to happen (ie, I’d find a lady I would consider my girlfriend), then I would probably (and perhaps stupidly) revert to my previous generous ways that I practiced during my marriage (I have a friend who is worth over $100 million, whose wife has access to more money than my ex and yet, has never been tainted by it, so I know if is possible to find that person). But I would take a few years (rather than a few months) to get to my normal level of generosity, and I would very probably NOT get married along the way so as to avoid the ultimate pie-in-the-face where I am paying a divorce settlement to a woman who already got way more from me than she ever deserved.

    I apologize in advance for this very long (even for me!) post but I hope I have shed some light on this “allowance” mystery (at least from my perspective, for whatever it is worth) for the SB’s here.

    Jack

  547. JustAThought SD says:

    “Your self-defined SD/SB.” That’s what it’s all about.

  548. JustAThought SD says:

    @HoneyBee
    That was MY post, not SD4ONE, that you keep commenting on. LOL :)

  549. JustAThought SD says:

    @Jack
    I would like to get a little info on these 2 trials. I’m curious to know their ages, family income vs. median for that area during her childhood, and general financial attitude of her family during her childhood.(If you know all these things of course, and without giving too much of their info away.)

    Somewhere in my brain, a case study is forming. Just cuz I wanna make one.

  550. SD Guru says:

    @Jack

    Thanks for sharing your experiences and I hope you’ll be able to apply the lessons learned to have better experiences in the future. What you described was very similar to what I learned in my early days as a SD years ago. I guess some lessons are “universal” after all… :)

    Here are some key points from your post along with similar topics I’ve wrote about in my blog:

    “the more money you give someone, the less they appreciate you” -> See “The amount of allowance may not be directly related to the quality of the experience”.

    “$3K tax-free equals over $50K in annual pre-tax earnings in the US, which is pretty close to the median” -> See “Allowance in real dollar terms”.

    “Once we met, I did not sense respect, appreciation or even thanks. It was as if the money was expected—and more would be expected later” -> See “Don’t enter into an arrangement with a large amount of money upfront”.

    Also, you wrote: “As I stated in my profile, my goal for being here is to end up in more of a BF/GF relationship than an arrangement”. I’d suggest that you be very careful of what you wish for because it will blur the boundaries of a NSA relatioship and send you down that slippery slope of emotional attachment. I’ve seen that movie before and it usually doesn’t end well, but perhaps you’re an exception! :mrgreen:

    Lastly, as you recall I’ve been saying that you shouldn’t put such a large bullseye with dollar signs on your back. Now you understand why… ;)

  551. SD4ONE says:

    Jack
    Interesting (and expensive) trials for you. I have only had one arrangement where I paid a significant amount of money and I did notice a similar reaction to your trial #1 AFTER the payment was made.

    Before the payment, we had great times together, we cooked together, hung out, went to shows, had great conversations and enjoyed each others’ company. Pretty soon after paying a major expense for her, I left town on business and, since I’ve been back, her demeanor has cooled. We had a short and unpleasant dinner with some arguments and kind of testy conversation. I wrote this off to her being tired but it seems a little more than that. It seems like a check box was been filled in “I got the payment” and she’s off trying to find another source of funds for the next payment.

    Now, having said all that, isn’t this the same complaint that women have said for years? “Once they sleep with the guy he’s not interested any more.”

  552. SD4ONE says:

    HoneyBee
    Sorry honey, the UVT’s have sold out. Someone named Blue Eyed Beauty took my entire inventory! :-)

  553. Jack says:

    JustAThought,

    Ages 27 and 32. Other info you asked I do not know.

    Guru,

    Thanks for highlighting some of my points, but I do not get your “bullseye” comment (I didn’t before either). Somehow, I think that you are implying that if I didn’t truthfully post in my profile/reveal to the ladies my true income, that this would not have occurred. If that is your implication, I do not agree. My experiences “occurred” because I chose to take the actions that led to them, not because the ladies knew my income. Nobody held me up and caused me to do it, and frankly, I haven’t lost any sleep over it or become bitter about it, or decided to ditch this method of meeting ladies. I do not consider myself a victim for one second. I was not naive enough upfront to disregard the possibility that I would get the outcome I got.

    And I didn’t really write my post as a”warning” to other SD’s but rather, I posted it so that high-dollar-wishing pot SB’s (or SB’s who think that a guy is “cheap” because he won’t cough up the amount of money they think they are due despite the fact that he can clearly afford it) could understand why someone who is wealthy might not want to participate in a high-dollar arrangement–even if he can.

    As to your comment of being careful of what you wish for, the fact that a previous committed relationship did not work out for you (and for me, of course) does not mean I have soured on those, either. Even as to my divorce, I do not feel like a victim. Again, when I married a beautiful woman 13 years my junior, I was aware of the possibility that my money was a component of why she married me. Also, as I was being generous during that marriage, I was also aware that that generosity might beget a negative outcome. But what was the alternative–put my wife on a budget representing 5% of my come? 10%? Really?

    So, maybe I should be soured on a lot of things given my experiences, but I am not. Live and learn–but make sure that your “learning” does not make you jaded or cynical. I believe I am neither. Besides, I consider myself an extremely lucky guy in so many ways and my “awesome” experiences outnumber my “negative” ones by a ratio of at least 100 to 1. So, given those odds, I’m totally OK with taking my lumps as they come and move on with my life.

    And to SD4One,

    Yeah, I’m not that worried about the expense of my trials, for the reasons I noted above, but find the commonality between my experience and yours interesting. And yet, I actually know two women who are married to very wealthy guys and have not been corrupted by the money, so I’ll keep my idealistic hat on a bit longer and believe there are other such women out there. Believing the alternative is not fun and bitterness is not in my nature.

    Jack

  554. babydoll says:

    @jack

    really very umderstandle behaviour from someone who has been treated like a Wrld Bank
    by a lot of women. But its true theres is someoen who woul appreciate you for what expetations you want without asking it but being given to you anyway because they want to but not just because you asked for it…

    i hope you wont be put off permanently and i hope you find her!

  555. Blue Eyed Beautyl says:

    @Jack – Interested to know how you would ‘rate’ these two SBs if the proposed rating system comes about.

  556. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – I’m interested in knowing how you would rate these SBs if the proposed rating system comes about. Also, in hindsight, were there any red flags you perhaps ignored? I am truly sorry you had such a distasteful experience and am happy to know it hasn’t curtailed your search for a quality SB.

  557. DaddyGT says:

    Hi all. Hope you have been well. Been away for a few months. Incredibly busy with the new businesses, and somehow finding time to do some soul searching on late nights with a suitably old whisky.

    A bit hung over from our launch party yesterday, so wandered back to this site. Wow! Looks like I missed quite the humdinger of a, ahem,discussion.

    @Jack
    You rock. Totally echo my sentiments on so many things. I have been out of the sugar bowl for a few years now, but like you, I make (made?) no distinctions between IRL dating, and the sugar bowl. I would be happy to meet the future Mrs GT via this site. Actually, my future dating is probably going to be focused on meeting that special someone I can settle down with and build a family. A man can only hope eh?

    re:Allowance
    Many moons ago, I wrote something similar here about the amount of allowance I am prepared to give a SB. The TL;DR version … “a SB who thinks an allowance equivalent to what some folk make in fulltime office work is chump change, is not one I want to be with My personal limit for an allowance, is about what the receptionist in my office makes. Which, at around the $3k per month post tax mark, is still pretty good money.

    It seems though, that a lot of SBs approach a site like this with the notion that a man should pay as much as he can. Good luck to them, and while someone like that would not be for me, I don’t begrudge them, as long as that attitude works for them.

    re:Dating Horrors
    I think someone should put together a 2 part book of SD horror dating short story. The first part can be those from SBs, and the 2nd from SDs. There are plenty here, if anyone wants to take the time to compile them. Knotch them down to experience, learn, and move on.

    @Blue Eyed Beauty
    I have to agree with you on open marriages and polyamory. I always feel that I am in the minority, and a bit of an oddball when I espouse the virtues of a polyamorous relationship. :-)

    I tell women that I promise fidelity. Monogamy, not so much. But who knows what the future holds, and how life will unfold?

    re:hotsb
    Where do I begin? I think I have to agree with most people here, in thinking that you are still pretty young, and still have a rose tinted (if bigotted) view of the world. Folly of youth? Hope you will find wisdom as you age.

    re:Universal Rules
    Awww, looks like I missed out on the UVT merchanidise. :-) Oh well, the one rule I have found that works for me, is that there are no rules.

    What there is though, is honesty. Even if it just honesty about what makes you happy. Everything else is a distraction.

    The number one reason I think, for relationship failure, is that many of us tend to
    - behave in the way we think the other person wants us to be
    - hope that the other person will change (or that we will change them into what we want them to be).
    Unfortunately though
    * pretending gets tiring after a while
    * people don’t change … at least not in the ways that count

    Be honest about what you want out of a relationship. Be honest about what you are willing to put into a relationship. Make no apologies for either. And don’t stop searching till you find what you are after. There are 7+ billion folk on the planet, and there is definitely more than one Mr, or Ms Right out there.

    Hopefully, you will have as much fun searching as you will when you eventually stumble across each other.

    (I hope this does not double post … reposting without any links. Hopefully that will work)

  558. DaddyGT says:

    Oh dear. I forgot to close the first bold tag. here goes, to avoid breaking the blog

  559. DaddyGT says:

    And if the blog gods and help, please edit my first comment, and close the bold tag right after ‘discussion.’ in the 2nd paragraph.

    Mea culpa

  560. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @DaddyGT – Re: Poly/Open – Can only work if both parties are 100% on board. Problems will still arise and the core relationship must always come first. Perhaps something you would consider after you have your family as I doubt you want any nagging suspicions about paternity. Would it be a two way street for you?

  561. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @DaddyGT – You DID break the blog!!!!

  562. DaddyGT says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty
    were there any red flags you perhaps ignored?

    It is difficult to come up with a definitive list, but after a while you tend to get a feel for this. A few things you will see in the profiles …

    * Those that scream ME! ME! ME!
    * Profiles that say stuff like ‘I expect a financial contribution at our first meeting.’
    * Profiles that say .. “I am a model. I have model looks. I am very hot. Did I mention that I am so hot you should be worshipping at the altar that is me?”++
    * Profiles that say (and I kid you not). “I live in Manhattan/Knightbridge, so what might be generous for other SBs, is just basic for me”
    * Profiles that say … “I am looking for a man who will buy me a car, that I will keep when our relationship ends” I have seen a few of these, and they will often specify a choice, often including Mini, BMW 1-series, entry level Mercedes or Audi, or baby Lexus. At least they only want an entry level one eh?
    * Profiles that say … “I am happy to travel to meet you, but I only fly first or business class.”
    * All her profile pictures show her either in expensive+exotic locations, or in the passenger seat of expensive+exotic locations.
    * She lists her hobbies as ‘spa treatments and shopping’. Often includes the specific brands she considers worthy of her. Current favourite does seem to be the Lobotomy shoes. Eh!
    * Profile has expected allowance as $20k+ per month!! Hahaha

    … and this one is always going to be contentious here, especially given the number of times Brandon et al use it in their marketing blurbs
    * Profiles that say …. “I expect to be treated like a Princess because well, I expect it dammit.”

    ++ The irony is that modelling does not pay well, or pay at all for the vast majority of girls. Explains the number of models, and ‘glamour models’ here.

  563. Miss D says:

    So annoyed, it`s Sunday, thought I had to work this morning but it`s a night shift instead , *crying*, thought I would come in here and see what everyone is saying, and I see there was a storm, so much comments!
    This is directed to all the Sds, I read the last few posts and I was shocked and kind of annoyed. Some sbs are getting 5,000 trails, and sds spending 7,000 on shopping trips and so on. To me that`s crazy!! I can only speak for myself, I feel so bad for these generous sds, but really what type of girls are you making arrangements with, I am guessing the complete wrong ones. I am struggling to pay my tuition and all I want is the chance to do what I always have dreamed of. I understand that money does not grow on trees so someone to even give me 2,000 or 3,000 or even less than that is a complete God send, point blank. So, I get really pissed when girls get selfish!! However, there are good sbs out there, pay attention to their goals, dreams, behaviors, actions, comments,mannerism because there are always signs. Sometimes the good ones are right in front of you guys and they are ignored or just hiding in the loads of profiles I do not know. Anyways end of my rant, enjoy your day everyone.

  564. Miss D says:

    sorry meant *Trials, lol

  565. DaddyGT says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty
    You DID break the blog!!!!
    Once again, my deepest apologies to all. Hopefully the blog gods will fix it when they wake up.

    Perhaps something you would consider after you have your family as I doubt you want any nagging suspicions about paternity.

    Hahaha. That is such an British way of thinking/putting it. In aristocratic circles, the thinking is that once the wife has delivered and heir and a spare, then straying from the marital bed discreetly can be forgiven, and swept under the rug. :-)

    Can only work if both parties are 100% on board.
    I have written about this here before. One of the things I love about polyamorous relationships, is the bruttal honesty required to making things work. And every primary poly couple will have its own rules and boundaries, that are fairly unique to them. I’d rather be open and honest than sneak around.

    The irony is that even in previous posts on being polyamorous here, I was flamed a few times. Interesting that a board where a not insignificant %age of the SDs are married would be so judgemental, and intolerent.

    Would it be a two way street for you?
    The very short answer is ‘YES’

    While in my ‘perverted’ mind, I’d rather she was out playing with another girl, and not another man, I honestly believe that what is good for the goose, is good for the gander.

    I am confident enough in myself to not need exclusive rights to a woman’s body to validate my relationship with her. I don’t really want to know the details though. Only that whatever or whoever else was there, satisfied her, and that she is happy.

    But then again, I’m just weird like that.

  566. Miss D says:

    @Daddy GT, I would like to volunteer for that book of dating horrors, my experience was very juicy. 3 way love triangle ending in lawyers/ police. lol, after being burned when eating out of the sugar bowel, you would think that I would have ran into the hills, but nope love it too much, not much luck on this site but still love it too much to throw in the towel, lol

  567. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Polyamory implies loving more than one person, sex only being one component. Personally, I think I fall into the open relationship category, as I would want to be the only ‘love’.

  568. DaddyGT says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty
    I have to disagree with your definition of polyamory.

    Most poly relationships begin with a primary couple. Secondary individuals then enter the fray. How those individuals interact with members of the primary couple will differ wildly, from ‘the couple sharing a common lover’, to either member having a bit of NSA sex on the side.

    Indeed, some are effectively 3 way marriages. Effectively, anything goes, as long as all the parties are consenting adults, and are happy with the arrangements.

    ‘Love’ being the most undefined and also most abused word in the English lexicon unhelpfully muddies the waters when describing relationships. :-)

    Kudos to you though, for being clear on what you want, what makes you happy, and what you would ideally want in a relationship.

    @Miss D
    I’ll see your love triangle, and raise you my SB from hell who not only hinted at falsely accusing me of rape to threatening to get me mutilated by her brothers in the IRA. Hahaha. Fun times. :-)

  569. SD4ONE says:

    I’m on the mono side of the mono/poly issue. I’m trying to open my mind to the arguments for the poly lifestyle. I’m reading The Ethical Slut and some of the points raised by the authors are similar to what DaddyGT said.

    Blue Eyed Beauty
    If sex is one component of love and you want to be the only ‘love’ will you feel less loved if that one component is offered to others?

    DaddyGT says he wouldn’t – he wouldn’t need exclusive rights to her body. We don’t really have rights to anyone else’s body but I would be uncomfortable if a pretty important component of love (my opinion) were given away to another or others.

    I’m pretty comfortable with two unattached people being intimate. What doesn’t compute in my little brain is how two people who love each other would be comfortable if sex was shared with others.

    This does seem to be one of those issues where no Universal Truth exists (until I write one of course).

  570. travelersb says:

    Hi! Good morning everyone!

  571. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I guess what I envision is I am one of a married couple and that’s how the world sees us. However, I can understand how one would want to have sex with other people. What I wouldn’t want is my partner falling in love with his sex partner and the same goes for me. I have only recently been able to reconcile that men and women can have sex without all those pesky feelings getting in the way and messing things up. Well I always knew some people could do it but just realized that I too can do it. It’s quite liberating actually.

  572. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    So long story short….either couple having a bit of NSA fun on the side is how I fall out on the subject. I just assumed that because love in is the word polyamory, that the relationships would be love relationships.

  573. DaddyGT says:

    @SD4ONE
    I guess the ’4one’ in your moniker says it all.

    One of the things the authors of ‘The Ethical Slut’ do point out, is that ‘love’ (I am not a big fan of that word), is not a finite quantity.

    Does a person who has many kids love each one any less than a person who has just one kid, since his ‘love’ is now divided between several kids? Now replace kids with girlfriend/boyfriend/lover.

    I suspect the jealousy gene is a genetic imperative … If she’s exclusive to you, then her offspring will be yours. No? That said, poly relationships have existed in various guises in many cultures throughout history. And continue to do so today.

    I am not on a recruitment drive here. Just pointing out that poly makes sense for me. And in my relationships, there are a lot more things that are far more important to me (and can be deal breakers), than whether she is exclusive with me.

    I think most of us in the poly world just genetically, and socially wired differently. Socially being the more important of the two. In the same way that some people will never see the sugar bowl as anything more than prostitution (with the associated stigma), plenty too, will never consider a relationship that is open, or has more than two participants as being real.

    I look forward to seeing your Universal Truth on this matter.

    @travelersb
    Good morning to you too.

  574. Miss D says:

    @ DaddyGT, I think you won, your horrible dating experience sounds like it top mine. lol,

  575. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Unless you are all living under one roof and doing everything together, I’d rather just share my family time with my partner and we have NSA on the side. We all have limited time. If my partner was off with a poly on vacation for 2 weeks I don’t think our relationship would survive as I doubt he would have 2 weeks with me also. That’s just how I see it. Perhaps with the right partner I could be persuaded otherwise. Everything is up for negotiation and I won’t knock it until I try it. Personally I’d like to think I’m that interesting and adventurous a person that I would be enough for one man to enjoy life with (barring the occasional NSA dalliance on the side).

  576. travelersb says:

    One of my fantasy is to ”share” a boyfriend with one of my girlfriend. I am not into women very much, sex would be separated, but I’d like to have one boyfriend for two girls.

  577. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I guess I’m coming from the perspective of a mother with two young children and want my home life to be as stable as possible. When I say ‘love’ relationship, perhaps I mean ‘committed’ relationship.

    When I was pregnant with my second child, I couldn’t for the life of me picture that I would love this child as much as my first born. And then it happened. I can also understand loving two men. But for the sake of my family, I choose to have only one man in a committed relationship, one partner who is introduced to my children. I could even understand having two men in my life who were committed to my family and my children. However, what I don’t see is how a man or woman can split their time between families.

    The more I think about it the more possibilities there are and the mind gets jumbled. I guess what I would want is stability in my home life, whatever form it might take and not exposing my children to many partners.

    My current SD considers himself in a monogamous relationship with me but also experiences compersion. I am able to be with whomever I choose as long as I tell him. I’m very comfortable with this and feel that this is one of the best relationships I have ever been in. It’s been very freeing and has only strengthened our relationship. He knows I am looking for one more SD (as he lives a fair distance away and realizes he couldn’t possibly satisfy my desire for more sex) and is happy for me. It’s working out beautifully. Now if I could only find one more SD who feels the same as him….He adores me and I him.

    Blue Eyed Beauty
    Have Toys….Will Travel ;-)

  578. flyr says:

    @miss D “Sometimes the good ones are right in front of you guys and they are ignored or just hiding in the loads of profiles I do not know. ”

    Houston, we have a marketing problem.

    Over the past two months I have conversed privately with perhaps 8 SB who were looking to improve the quality and quantity of the responses to their profile. Among most of those who embraced the upgrade project the results have been pretty good and in some cases spectacular.

    You would not go out the door to meet a pot with smeared lipstick, mismatched shoes and a glob of spinach, rather you would probably go dressed to win. If your profile does not meet the same standards you will seriously reduce the probability of getting the contact in the first place.

    If you have been whining about the process take 4 days off from posting here, make sure your pictures are great and redo your profile.

    Remove your hands from the keyboard

    Step back from the computer

    Take a piece of paper and plan your profile , backwards from the outcome.

    Start with two columns

    a. Who do you want to meet (are you willing to consider older) ,
    means, motive , capability

    b. what does he want (think beyond basic SEX, car ads sell feeling good)
    what adds value

    what do you have to offer that distinguishes you (to your target) from the others, (note that your financial needs are irrelevant – its all about value You are not going to pay more for a car because the mfgr is loosing money) Think about embedding subtle messages that will resonate with someone whom you want to meet.

    (consider what makes you a better investment than another woman, car, trip, investment, etc)

    end with a call to action.

    Make every word count.

    Write the profile in a word processor and run spell and grammar check.

    Read the profile after letting it sit overnight, polish it , let it sit again, final quality control check and then update your profile.

    Lead picture has to be awesome including the background . There needs to be enough contrast that you will jump out from 15 other pics. Your picture should be consistent with your profile. You need to be happy unless you are expecting to find the rare man who wants to be with someone who is unhappy. No, the photos do not need to be semi nude. Your marketing program should cause the pot to pause and imagine what you would look like with the clothing removed, not a photo your gynecologist would appreciate.

    When you talk to a pot ask him what attracted him to your profile.

    Continue to upgrade

  579. travelersb says:

    Re : Allowance
    I understand how men realized that the amount that they give obviously doesn’t make anybody very thankful about it. And I have to admit that it is true. But I would like to point out that us ( sugar babies) are also doing the mistake of providing more ”sugar” (which is not a question of sex only, it also implies being there for you, caring, being interested and getting involved in the relationship) than it is necessar in the hope that a man would be thankful and would care about us and give us the extra that would really either clear a debt or give us the opportunity to achieve a long term goal. Unfortunatly, that extra sugar is not often recognized. And when we dare talk about it, we look like the mean ones.

    My thoughts are that if there is not a real interest which is not based on money or sex, it is impossible to make a genious relationship work and to make that nobody gets burned. That goes in real life relationships and in sugar relationships.

  580. Stewart says:

    @DaddyGT

    I heartily agree with you when you said… “The number one reason I think, for relationship failure, is that many of us tend to

    - behave in the way we think the other person wants us to be
    - hope that the other person will change (or that we will change them into what we want them to be).

    Unfortunately though
    * pretending gets tiring after a while
    * people don’t change … at least not in the ways that count”

    In my humble opinion, you have distilled down to the very essence, the main reasons why relationships fail. I would only add that not only does pretending get tiring, but it also denies a person the ability to be the true person they are.

    You speak as a person of great wisdom. I think all can learn from those words.

  581. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Jack.

    You are 54 y old , your flavor of the month (June ) girl was 27 y old, drop dead gorgeous who got used to date multi millionaires – now you complain (brag! ) how generous you were with her and she was not appreciative or sincere or into you. ?? did you expect any difference approach from her? Should anyone expect any different in this situation than a young beautiful high end excort girl approach ?

    You are a mature and smart guy….may be … look at the facts?

    And many people were fighting VA gent here and his P4P approach !! calling him not a real SD coz of that (even though his SB got dozens of $)
    And he pointed many times performance !!! :) quality correlation with P4P approach. :)

    if a guy wants to be liked not for his money but for himself – do not put more than $ 1.000.000 annual income (you attract gold diggers!) , meet a girl, make her like YOU ! not your annual income.

    And Jack – you want to find a sincere girl who cares about you…. and you do not rule out girl who are younger than 25 y old (coz one of them might be athletic, drop dead gorgeous and ! mature)? yes, and that 25 y old is going to love you for you and not for your life style, your position, your steady income.

    I think you make it difficult for yourself.

    The only thing is happening here – the mean, arrogant gold diggers got prized and REWARDED with thousands of dollars, so they continue to think it is the way to roll.

  582. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    Dozen thousands (it was in VA gent case).

  583. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Jack – Please don’t think all SBs would only be interested in your allowance. In my case, if that was all I was interested in, I would of taken up the pot SD on his offer of a new white mercedes. However, after much communication, I decided he was emotionally very unstable and a former SB was still circling and causing him many problems. I finally told him he could get in touch when things died down and he got himself centred as he would be no good to me otherwise. There are genuine caring SBs on this site. Be patient, don’t ignore red flags, and cut them loose at the first sign of trouble. Frankly, if a guy has to apologize for ANYTHING in the first couple of weeks of getting to know each other, I’m outta there!! He’s supposed to be on his BEST behaviour.

  584. Miss D says:

    @flyr, thank you for the tips. I have no problem getting individuals to my profile, I have converse with many on this site, just no arrangement I ‘m looking for. I have been told time again, no one is going to give any girl in Canada thousands of dollars per month after the government has already taken a lot bah bah. So, if you have any tips on how to get them to a first meeting with an openness for an allowance attitude in mind, I will shine the rest of the way. However, I can do all I want to my profile but many men also have their preferences and that is something that I was born with so yeah..
    I also agree with I love west girl, I had an good arrangement that started out as a per meeting thing that I met on another site. No two arrangements are the same, so I don’t understand the comment of not being a real SD. It would have to be a certain someone that I do that kind of arrangement with, someone that I have an sincere connection with right away. For me, I liked him and the money was a bonus. The per meeting gave us the time to get to know each other even more without large sums of money being thrown into the air. He was big on dinner, gifts, vacations, and I was not at the time so we came up with this. I would still get dinners, outings, and still get cash to pay my bills. I did not get close to 5,000/month or 7,000/month but I got what I needed at the time to help out my family. Shortly, before the arrangement ended it started to shift to allowance when he trusted that I would not run with his money, lol, and no I did not run with the money it ended because of external circumstances that we both could not control. I just believe anyone offering such large amounts of money at first is attracting certain woman, money should be a bonus, not the thing that builds the relationship at least to me it is not.

  585. Miss D says:

    @ flyr I don’t know if you would be able to look at my profile, and let me know. Maybe, I could get more emails from certain sds I’m looking for if my profile read a different way. Maybe, I’m seeing one thing and may need another eye. However, I prefer not to post my profile publicly on here.

  586. SD4ONE? says:

    Today’s Universal Value of The Day (UVD) is……
    It is possible to have a Mono SD/SB relationship that is rewarding and contains trust, love and all things wonderful.

    The truths that have been revealed on this blog have led to clause B of this UVD. It is also possible to have a Poly SD/SB relationship if clear communication is maintained and great care is taken to not hurt anyone. I have spoken so it is so. Carry on. ;-)

    I want to thank DaddyGT, Blue Eyed Beauty and others for their thoughts. BEB – thanks for your invented words. What does compersion mean? “My current SD considers himself in a monogamous relationship with me but also experiences compersion.” (I know so little – it’s amazing that I can handle the UVD’s)

    To reflect the opening of mine eyes, I will be known as SD4ONE? from this point forward. This signifies that I may consider the poly approach in my future. :-)

  587. DaddyGT says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty
    He knows I am looking for one more SD [...] and is happy for me
    What I like about what you are saying, is that you seem to have put some thought into it, and figured out what your boundaries are. That is far better than most folk, including those in traditional relationships.

    @travelersb
    One of my fantasy is to ”share” a boyfriend with one of my girlfriend.
    You live once. And what is a life that never indulges in fantasy? Most men, if they are honest, would relish the thought of two girlfriends that are OK with the setup. That said, multiple girlfriends is sometimes not all it is made out to be. :-)

    At the risk of sounding like a curse, may you both find what you are looking for. And you do get bonus points if it involves sugar.

    @flyr
    Great advice you are dishing out on ‘marketing’. The rules in the sugar bowl are a bit different, and many profiles I have seen seem to suggest that the pot SBs figure that just turning up is enough. I am sure the same is true for pot SDs ….

    @travelersb
    And when we dare talk about it, we look like the mean ones.
    This is always a sensitive one on this blog. I have personal limits on what I will put into a sugar relationship (see my earlier post). That said, there is almost no limit to the amount I will put into a relationship where I care for someone.

    Getting to that level of trust, and commitment though, takes time. Possibly longer than most sugar relationships last. This is just the unfortunate truth.

    The main problem with ‘I am giving more XYZ. I expect more $$$’, is that it reduces the relationship to a very black and white quid pro quo, or trade. This I find, is not very helpful, particularly in discussions on this internet forum.

    @Steward
    Awww. Thanks. *blushing*. That said, I don’t think I am a person of wisdom. I have just been around the block a few times, and I am usually pretty open to sharing my opinions, solicited or not :-)

    Miss D
    money should be a bonus, not the thing that builds the relationship

    I agree. But the unfortunate truth is that money is what brings us to the sugar bowl. And discussions where both money and sex are involved are always going to be touchy. Even here on this blog, sex+money is a touchy subject. One that quickly degenerates into the sort of spat @hotsb had above, or is skirted around gingerly. Hell, the euphemistic ‘intimacy’ and ‘sugar’ are used instead. :-)

    Ultimately, it comes down to this (at least for me) ….
    Know what you want to get out of the site. Know the limits of what you are prepared to do, to get what you want. Really think about it. Sleep on it. Think about it some more. Be sure that you are comfortable with your choices, desires, and limits. Think on it a bit more. Make sure that *you* are still happy. Then boldly go forth, and get whatever it is you are after.

    There is no right or wrong answer. If you are happy, confident and unapologetic about your choices though, judgemental and insensitive comments are less likely to affect you.

    It’s still a lot of fun to poke holes in people’s prejudices, pre-conceptions, and general stupidity though. :-)

  588. Danielle says:

    Hello to all.

    I have a question and would appreciate advise from anyone who has any.

    I met a really nice guy on here about a week ago who lives a couple towns over.
    We exchanged e-mails on here and seem to have a whole lot in common which
    is terrific for me because more than anything, “clicking” with a Pot SD’s is a MUST!
    So far I really like him. He has amazing eyes and a great personality.
    Well, he told me he may or may not renew his membership with SA and gave me
    his e-mail address.
    Now, I don’t know what to make of this really. Did he really like me? If so, why is he letting his membership expire? Is this a red flag that an SD is not genuine? Maybe he is having second thoughts about arrangements in general or am I just over thinking all of this.
    Thanks,
    Danielle

  589. HoneyBee says:

    @Jack- I feel so bad (seriously) knowing that you had horrible experiences. I can’t imagine anyone accepting that much amount of money and being so distrustful and deceitful. I’m more than sure that is/was about a 2 month salary for them. You are bold to send them that amount of money BEFORE even meeting with them.

    – My opinion is to have sent for them via flight and then perhaps give them SOME not all money to cover the expenses they may have lost coming to visit, but it wasn’t you responsibility off back and I know damn well it wasn’t $5,000.00 worth of bills. Some GIRLS lose the value of a $. WOMEN will appreciate it, but again it’s just my opinion and a lot of people (females in particular) think I’m weird for NOT being money hungry and trying to get a man for every dollar I can. The only difference is some MEN value skin color, blah blah, etc. over intellectual, personality connection. So for the minority as me, we just have to wait on someone to appreciate this Brown Shade of Sugar. Lol. Definitely not going to brew up a dead conversation regarding race decisions. Don’t want to boil the pot again.

  590. travelersb says:

    whohoo! wow ! I am getting so many answers since I remade my profile ( with the help of Jack). I get answers from very interesting potentiels and I even got that compliment : ”your profile is the best I have read here” from a guy!

  591. HoneyBee says:

    @JustAThoughtSD- Sorry! My eyes get tired or paying attention after class. Lol Please forgive me?! xoxoxo

  592. flyr says:

    @Danielle “Well, he told me he may or may not renew his membership with SA and gave me
    his e-mail address.
    Now, I don’t know what to make of this really. Did he really like me? If so, why is he letting his membership expire? Is this a red flag that an SD is not genuine? Maybe he is having second thoughts about arrangements in general or am I just over thinking all of this.”

    Yes, Danielle, you are overthinking this.

    He may be sending you a message the he thinks you are the ONE.. Or it may be a doomed prospect but you’ll never know unless you pursue it with an expectation that it will work.

    @DaddyGT …..”The rules in the sugar bowl are a bit different, and many profiles I have seen seem to suggest that the pot SBs figure that just turning up is enough.”

    I would agree but substitute “all too common attitude” for “rule”

    One of the great value adds for Apple is that they control the experience from start to finish and no detail is too small to be important. As a result that get not only premium prices but also widespread interest. .

  593. flyr says:

    @miss D ask blog gods to send address

  594. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @travelersb – Congrats!!! Jack is great with words and conveying ideas. Just goes to show profiles are really really important. Hope you find what your a looking for :-)

  595. HoneyBee says:

    @MissD- For you are NOT ALONE at these 5k trials and 7k shopping sprees. I personally and HONESTLY would turn it down unless it was something towards my future. Like a check for the remaining of my lease, but even still will not be expecting such a splurge MONTHLY. I’d still want some money here and there since you’ve taken care of such a big thing anyway but hey maybe I’m weird. 2nd the motions of the ignored part. I’m not hiding because I’m very visible. Lol.

  596. travelersb says:

    Thank you BEB

  597. PhoneGuy says:

    @Danielle,

    There is no way to know if it means anything or is good or bad. As flyr said, don’t overthink this. Would you rather he have an active profile if he turns out to be your SD?

  598. PhoneGuy says:

    And hey Tina, hope things are going well for you.

  599. HoneyBee says:

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl— “The only thing is happening here – the mean, arrogant gold diggers got prized and REWARDED with thousands of dollars, so they continue to think it is the way to roll.’
    -That is so true and then once the SD’s get burned by these girls because they want the “typical, I’m old , she’s young and hot and will simply adore mmmmmmmm…….MY MONEY…” lol and are upset at the fact that she responded differently after getting her reward. Rather than find some girls that ACTUALLY need the HELP and will APPRECIATE SO MUCH more than YOU’RE money. Again, just my two cents

  600. DelicateEbonySB says:

    Just so annoying when a guy sends you an email as if he was the sausage king of Chicago, thinking that you must bow down at his every wish. Stand in my line, my friend….stand in line….

  601. JustAThought SD says:

    @Honeybee
    You are forgiven of course. Big smile and wink. :)

  602. travelersb says:

    @ DelicateEbony – LOL

  603. JustAThought SD says:

    Re: Relationships and arrangements

    In almost all relationships, one side will always feel they have,are,and will do more for the other party. As humans we usually overvalue our efforts as they are seen from our perspective and what WE went through. Neither side TRULY understands.(Even if they went through the exact same thing, both will see it a little differently.) All you can do is be honest,communicate,and give of yourself without regret or expectation. Hopefully, you’ve chosen well enough that your partner will do the same.

    Re: Polyamory/Monogamy
    With what I’ve just said about relationships, it’s hard to keep a man that would die for you, work for you,and live for you, if you’re potentially giving what you both see as one of your great treasures to anyone else ( or even worse giving birth to the kids of someone you just met that would not live,die,or work for you.) Whether it’s your time, your mind, your body, or your heart. However, arrangements are between the parties involved. Be honest with yourself, each other and hope they can do the same. And, remember, invariably, someone will ALWAYS do something (hopefully small and insignificant, hopefully unintentionally) that goes over a boundary in your perspective.

  604. Tina says:

    @Phone Guy: thanks! They’re starting to look up! The blog is getting so popular that I’m not able to keep up with the little that I’m able to get on. You’re more than welcome to my e-mail address if you would like it. I’m better at checking that :)

    @ Jack: I am sorry to hear that you’ve had such, er, “interesting” experiences in the sugar bowl, but am glad that you’ve kept such a positive outlook on finding the right person. I actually took quite a break from dating for a while after a long term relationship dissolved, since my own outlook on relationships wasn’t exactly positive. I needed time to look at what I wanted, and reset my views on relationships in general. There’s more to it, but that is it in a nutshell. I know many women who would be happy to cook you dinner for a week, AND clean up the dishes afterward, for the gifts that you have offered and given to others. A lot of it goes to how the person views money in their life; my sister is completely satisfied having someone else pay her bills without gratitude, while I fight against help (sometimes even when I need it) and try to be as independent as possible. So, it’s not always about how the person was raised, but how they view the world.

    @Daddy GT: glad to see you back! I’m happy to hear that you’re doing well with your business ventures, and will have to comment on your relationship analysis. I think that one of the most important things in a relationship, regardless of its “type” (sugar, IRL, polyamorous, etc.) is that you enter it knowing yourself. Not knowing who you are, then expecting someone else to fit into your life, is disastrous. Entering into a relationship confident on who you are – what you want, where you’re going, what makes you happy, what is most important to you – makes it possible for you to communicate what is going to make you happy to the other person, and it makes it possible for them to be able to make you happy. Communication and honesty are, of course, right up there ;)

  605. DelicateEbonySB says:

    When I read some profiles stating “I don’t date outside my race”… I just laugh. If a man had to chose between trailer park trash Lindsey Lohan or sexy classy Hale Berry… which one do you think they would pick? tsk tsk tsk….

  606. Jack says:

    Guys, thanks for all the sympathy and advice, but I think the reason for my post has gone unnoticed, so I will say it again:

    I posted my experiences NOT because I was hurt, felt cheated, or anything else, but RATHER, so that pot SB’s can understand why a wealthy guy might not wish to pony up more than $3000/month–at most–at the beginning of an arrangement. That was the ONLY reason for my post.

    There were extenuating circumstances involved in both Trial 1 and Trial 2 that I did not post about because (a) my post was already running into “War and Peace” length, (b) the extenuating circumstances did not need to be discussed because knowing them would not change the reason for my post (nor its reasoning), and (c) they involved some issues that were too personal to be posted here.

    Jack

  607. Tina says:

    @Jack: the reason for my post was unnoticed as well; it was not intended as sympathy or advice, but as a compliment. Although I did read the reason for your post, I just declined to comment and chose take another angle on it. Your comments on the blog do usually have a positive spin, especially when you review and offer to review someone’s profile. You’ve kept a positive tone to most of your general comments, and that was what I wanted to highlight. I didn’t feel the urge to expound on your main points, especially since I agree with your view on the allowance range, hence mine is open/negotiable. The “value” of my companionship will vary person to person, and I don’t want to eliminate (or attract) someone based on a number I feel is fair.

  608. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    EbonySB.
    I have seen a few TV interviews with Halle Berry there she complained that AA girls never accept her In their cycle (during her school years ) coz she was “TOO white ” for them. :(

  609. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    HoneyBee.
    Exactly. A Nice, honest, open girl is going to be so caring and so attentive with her $ 1.000.000 annual SD and get less than 3.000 a month. And BS gold diggers are going to get $ 15.000 a month.
    Well… this is how it is, it is life.

  610. DelicateEbonySB says:

    WestCoast: I think Hale Berry’s problem is not being “too white”, but being too pretty… :P

    Regarding the $15,000 dollars a month (!!!!!!!!) that apparently genius Victoria Secret SBs get from certain wealthy SDs…I think that SDs like that have no right complaining. If they are willing to spend that much on girl, it is what it is.

    Good for her that got that much. What was he supposed to expect in return from a damn smart girl who walks away with that much a month? Nothing but her million dollar smile. She knows she deserves every penny and such a SD, should be thankful he is in the presence of such a talented sugar. Anyone who can convince anyone to give away that much money, has my respect. You go girl, whoever you are. I’ll buy your book.

  611. Sweet Ebony Sunshine says:

    @ EbonySB I agree, I think anyone who says “I don’t date outside my race” is either lying or missing out. Variety is the spice of life. Do you think any man can live on a diet of just white rice (not a euphemism for white or asian women)? with all the different types of races and mixed races out there why limit yourself to just one?
    @ ILoveWestCoastGirl
    I don’t want to start a long topic about race but..In the case of Halle Berry, I think she may feel that she relates to another race over her own due to her not being/feeling accepted by her own race as a child growing up. Kids are kids, they don’t know more than what they see and what there parents teach them, parents whom themselves have been subject to the same cycle growing up.
    @By the way all, Love this blog, learining some great things on here, I am a new SB and do appreciate the very opinionated SD/SB’s on here!!!

  612. SB*Brittany says:

    It is so hard to even find a arrangement. I am not looking to get rich or spend money like water. I would just like to not live pay check to pay check. And take the worry off of bills and being able to do more with out worring if I can put gas to go to work. I tired of being treated like sex has to be a given. I want to be friends go out and have fun. And if the moment happens it happens. Idk I’m I wrong?

  613. PreferNot2 Say says:

    Ok ladies honest opinion…. Would you deal with a man you might be bisexual and damn near completely crazy for a 20K allowance? he gave half up front on friday and I just have to make it until next friday and i am not even staying with him i get to sleep in my own bed at my house and NO SEX!! BUT, No bullshit, he just got me a 9 carat engagement ring and we have only been in our arrangement for 3 days and he wants to do unmentionable things to my panties and watch me with another guy. I’m so not the money hungry type but I really want to capitalize on this… Does that make me a bad person…. maybe, but F**K a few months will pay for me to finish med school. Please tell me i am not the only one who would do this.

  614. Simplicity says:

    SB*Brittany– the SDs wanting arrangements are out there try redoing your profile it made a huge difference for me.

  615. SB*Brittany says:

    Any suggestions?

  616. Simplicity says:

    copy your profile # and i will look at it

  617. SB*Brittany says:

    991377

  618. Simplicity says:

    Your profile is very similar to what mine used to look like, you need to put more about what you have to offer and what kind of arrangement you are looking for if you want an allowance put it in there make it less about what you want and more about the pot SD and what you could offer him here is some of what i put into mine…

    Are you looking for that well balanced girl that you thought only existed in your dreams?? Well guess what you have found me!

    I am the most compassionate, affectionate, and sensual person you will ever meet. I can relieve any causes of stress in hours, my 37 in long legs have proven to be very therapeutic and there is not a single desire, dream, or fantasy I will not try to make happen for the right person, so if you think you can be that person, and you can handle what I have to offer you know what to do.

    I am looking for an ongoing arrangement with an intelligent man who likes to maintain balance in his life and has no problem mentoring a younger intellectual. Ideal activities would be dinners, day trips, or weekend adventures with a fun loving person that can really tune in to my sensual side.

    P.S. I love men with salt and pepper hair, It is a MAJOR turn on!”

    You really need to let you confidence show and take a few pics outside dark features, like your eyes do not show as well in darker photos, also put your #4 pic as your first one, your eyes look hot there; use it to your advantage make them feel like you are looking deep into their body.

    Good luck on your search

  619. SB*Brittany says:

    Thank you

  620. travelersb says:

    @Simplicity – that is a very nice profile!

  621. SD Guru says:

    @DaddyGT

    Welcome back, it’s great to have our resident polyamory expert back in action! As you can see we’re still hashing over the same old topics as before. I hope you’ll stick around this time! :)

    Oh, in case anyone is interested in his gf from hell story, here it is! And you can see my response here. :mrgreen:

    @Jack
    I think that you are implying that if I didn’t truthfully post in my profile/reveal to the ladies my true income, that this would not have occurred.

    No, what I’m saying is that if you constantly flaunt your wealth, whether intentional or not, then you’re more likely to attract the gold digger types who are more interested in your money. As I wrote in my blog, some SD’s purposely understate their income/wealth because they don’t want pot SB’s to have unrealistic expectations. I’m not saying you should do the same, I’m just pointing out the possible consequences of your approach.

    As to your comment of being careful of what you wish for…

    I’m just pointing out that mixing emotional attachment with sugar is usually a recipe for disaster. However, I know there are exceptions and there are cases of happily ever after in the sugar world. But it’s not for the faint of heart, so if you’ve got the fortitude for it then go for it!

    So, maybe I should be soured on a lot of things given my experiences, but I am not. Live and learn–but make sure that your “learning” does not make you jaded or cynical.

    Learning from your experiences (and from others’) should not make you jaded or cynical. It should make you wiser and enable you to make better decisions so that you’ll have more enjoyable experiences in the future. I’m sure you’re fully capable of doing that!

  622. Dee says:

    Wow whats the trick..or not the trick but what are you SB doing that im not cause ive been on this site for 3 month and the only type of SD that hits me up doesnt have an intelligent thought in his head or atleast hes not sharring it with me. Ive only had one real sb sd relationship and omg it was great but I was too younge to really enjoy it now that im 23 and im ready see whqts out there travel go to events get to know a new and higher social group than im use to. I really dont think its me but id like someone opinion. My profile is pretty clean cut I tell them current situation im unemployed looking to go back to school and I needthe financial help to get where I want to go without wasting another 5 years of my life saving just to b able to go to school for a year. Im sweet beautiful fun to be with I get told all the time why when I look for a SD do I get duds. Let me know what im doing wrong if anything thank you !!

    No, omg do you guys really have great sex that sounds fantastic !! Ive always wanted to get into a heated debate and then go dothe do haha just thinking about it give me goose bumps. Has anyone ever wanted you as a SB to be a beard like for a SD thats gay cause I got a request like that but im more the descrete type. Im wondering if I should tho especially with my past couple arrangements seriously wow anyway wish me luck !!

    Wish everyone great animalistic hot passionate sex !! XxxxxxxxX

  623. Miss D says:

    Good morning everyone, eww to shift work, hence why I’m up so early lol @ honeybee I’m feeling you, I’m not even going to say anything about a certain subject that is dead, lol.
    @ flyr or anyone else how do i contact the blog gods, not familiar with this process to get email contact?

  624. Tina says:

    @ Miss D: just shout their name and they will answer ;) Ok, seriously, just post “blog gods, pleas share my e-mail with XYZ person” and they will send the information along. Just be patient, as they have real lives and it is a very manual process. Also, the other person must be open to sharing e-mail as well, and must approve the request in a similar fashion to making one. :)

  625. Tina says:

    Oh, and good Monday morning everyone! Typically I would be at work at this time, but I’m on vacation this week and doing some volunteer work! It’s going to be a FANTASTIC week, I hope everyone else feels the same! :D

  626. DelicateEbonySB says:

    @PreferNot2 Say: “got me a 9 carat engagement ring and we have only been in our arrangement for 3 days”

    20K and a ring in 3 days????? Girlfriend…. where the heck did you find this gem???? I must be doing something wrong… maybe I need to get barbie blonde hair extensions or something….sheeshhh…

  627. PreferNot 2Say says:

    I met him on here and i am not a blonde or thin… or anything like a barbie for that matter. He has literally fallen in love with me in 3 days.

  628. DelicateEbonySB says:

    SDs who post pics of them with super models on their profile just crack me up…. because 99% of us, normal SBs, don’t look like that. If we did…. we would be on the cover of magazines. Some guys have been watching porn too long. Unrealistic expectations people…. just get off your pedestal made of testosterone and get down to reality. Once you reach reality… you will find your sugar. We are here, waiting…

  629. travelersb says:

    @PreferNot2Say – be very careful!!! That happened to me also …. well he didn’t offered that much. But he was completly in love. It never last when it is going so fast!! So I would say enjoy while it is there and the interest is there. You have an opportunity to experiment new weirds things also :) But Be aware that in 3 days, he clearly doesn’t know you enough! Just be mature and when you feel that you are unhappy in the arrangement, leave it and avoid drama!!!

  630. DelicateEbonySB says:

    Wow…. maybe guys haven’t been watching too much porn then…. they have been watching way too many Disney prince charming movies!! LOL

  631. Jackiedoll says:

    I don’t understand this anymore. How are you not supposed to involve your heart?

  632. PreferNot 2Say says:

    I will just enjoy it while it lasts, aside from his umm shall we call them fetishes???? he is a very charming,intelligent, and attractive man. he is also one of the few men I have met on here capable of providing such an interesting lifestyle I just wish I could get him to slow down, after that he would be perfect.

    Thanks for the advice travelersb

  633. Frank says:

    To add my 2 cents worth. I think it is the expectation that upon meeting, and finding each other attractive that intimacy will happen. I would expect that a sb who does not plan to be intimate with her pot sd should put that in her profile. Indeed I have seen that statement or similar in a profile and act accordingly.

  634. travelersb says:

    @Frank – BUT WHY THE FIRST NIGHT OR THE FIRST DATE???? that really annoys me. Hey we cannot sleep with every first date!! Do you realize men that you don’t like a girl who has sleep with too many men but you expect her to sleep at the first or second date? Seriously, to meet your expectations we would have to simply NOT date and settle for the first who was there.
    And he you answer me that you don’t care if a girl has sleep with a lot of men before, I would say that me at least I care, so it is more a question of self-respect

  635. travelersb says:

    *if* sorry, typo

  636. flyr says:

    @sb brittany 991377

    skimming through a bunch of profiles your profile does not stand out for a number of reasons

    photos are ok but repetitive and OK is not good enough.

    the profile shows little effort and very little thought regarding the SD you are looking for or how this relationship would benefit him.

    The SB seeks to occupy a slice of the man’s relation universe.. It’s best if you paint a picture that alludes to what you will bring to the relationship.. It covers a big area from housebreaking lost nerds to mentee for older, established SD. Where do you want to be.

    you are not selling yourself, you are selling an experience.

    read all of yesterday’s and today’s profile comments and suggestions . Then block copy the last 30 hours of discussion to word and do a search for “profile” Read the posts regarding building good profiles. There’s a lot of wisdom there

    I believe simplicity posted part of her profile here.

  637. flyr says:

    BLOG GODDESS please send my contact to Miss D

  638. Miss D says:

    Blog gods or Goddess can you send flyr’s contact to me , please and thank you

  639. ContentSB says:

    Ooooh @DaddyGT is back! I always love reading your posts…you never fail to give me something new to think about…and just when I think I have it all figured out, something else is brought up that starts the thinking process all over again :)

    @PreferNot2Say — Is that story for real?? Goodness! I think you should proceed with extreme caution. I know that much money is incredibly appealing, but his impulsiveness is cause to worry. Extreme impulsiveness can be correlated with low thresholds of patience. He may become upset if you question him or show hesitance in regards to one of his quickly hatched plans. Just be careful and don’t let money cloud your judgment.

  640. shaun says:

    Hi there everyone, hope you all are doing well! I was wondering if the guys have anything against South Africans? Am I to far or what? Don’t want this to be about the money not at all would like to me a nice guy that I can relate to but yet want stability and security as I suppose everyone wants. Can anyone give me some advice please?
    Have a great evening and all the best of luck in your search.

  641. PreferNot 2Say says:

    I am trying to maintain a clear head, but even if the money is not there he is an amazing man. He is going a light speed and i’m not quite sure why, but we just finished a afternoon together and he is exactly what I have been looking for.. he has manners and is very educated. We can talk about anything and see eye to eye. I am just wondering what kind of trauma he has been through to make him like this… and how I can help him overcome these issues

  642. ContentSB says:

    @PreferNot2Say — Just to play the devil’s advocate…

    What would you do if an Average Joe took an immediate and STRONG interest in you? After three days he gave you a small, but pretty, engagement ring. If you would act differently than you’re acting now with this SD, you should rethink it. If you’re 100% sure you would be giving Average Joe a chance, and not accusing him of being a bit unstable, then proceed :)

  643. flyr says:

    prefernottosay

    the other comments regarding very impulsive person (unreasonably impulsive)should raise a very high level of caution

    wants to watch you have sex – with his boyfriend (very bad idea) or a man of your choosing.?

    What does he think your acceptance of the the engagement ring represents in the way of a commitment?

  644. PreferNot 2Say says:

    I told him I would prefer the ring as a pendant for my necklace until we get to know each other a lot better so he bought me a necklace and tat is what the ring is now on, and he has backed down from the wanting to watch but his initial interest was with a man of my choice. However, he does still like the idea of knowing that someone else is taking care of me sexually he just wants to take care of me financially and emotionally…

  645. gtt_envy says:

    @PreferNot 2Say, I have more than a hard time believing that one!!

  646. SDinLA says:

    @Tina

    http://i32.fastpic.ru/big/2011/1211/5a/f7a2bbc2269d79bca967fcad1352185a.gif

    @ContentSB, flyr, gtt_envy You guys have been around long enough to know not to engage the trolls/attention whores! It’s probably just the latest incarnation of the one whose blog name is the same as an Avenue in Manhattan synonymous with advertising firms.

  647. bella says:

    prefer not to say…perfect just find a hot young boy the type you would date in real life and not sugar…then let him watch (the 20k sd)lol

    few here will honestly open up and say they would do it,but trust me they are wishing to be in your shoes right now….go for it but be safe ;-)

  648. NOT SDinLA, no really, it isn't me says:

    Gentlemen, I need your advice… honest opinions please. What would you do in my situation?

    So I met this coed last week. She was drop-dead gorgeous, we’re talking better than Victoria’s Secret super-model looks, and to top it off she is already getting her PhD in astrophysics at Cal Tech even though she is 19. We had an amazing conversation over dinner, and then SHE PICKED UP THE CHECK. Refused to let me pay. I think it was when we were discussing Kierkegaard over coffee that I realized she was the perfect SB for me, so right there on the spot I offered her a 50k allowance and whatever else her heart desired. She laughed off my offer, put her hand against my cheek and said, “Dearest SDinLA, you are so generous. But I have a confession to make. My father is one of the wealthiest men in the world, and I am his only daughter so he already spoils me rotten. No man could hope to compete. But you’re the first man I’ve gone out with who has not been after me for my money, so I’ll tell you what. I am going to offer YOU a $100,000 per month allowance to let me be your Sugar Momma. And it’s your lucky day because I am not only a nymphomaniac, but I was trained by the finest geishas in Japan and ablest devotees of the Kama Sutra in India in ways to please a man.”

    And get THIS…. she’s into group sex…. but only with other women. She wants to have orgies with me and 8 other girls! And her step-mother owns a modeling agency, so she has lots of bisexual model friends who are also into open relationships and group sex!

    She wanted to take me home and defile me that night, but I managed to stall. I told her I insisted on getting tested first, and besides, I am just not the kind of man who sleeps with someone on a first date. She was going to call her personal physician at 1am on a Friday night to have him come out and test us, but I didn’t want to make the poor doctor do that. I guess I am just that allsome.

    So instead she said she’d get a few of her model friends to come over and I could just watch. Of course I want to take advantage of this situation, but I felt that not being able to take part would end up just being frustrating so I asked her to please respect my “No sex for three dates” rule.

    On our second date, she had Harry Winston stay open late just so we could go in and look at friendship rings. She also wanted me to get a diamond studded dog collar ($3 million dollars and hundreds of ginormous diamonds!) for our kinky bedroom play, but I told her that I thought we were moving too fast and that I only wore dog collars after I got to know someone better. I said I preferred to have a genital cuff instead for the time being since I could hide it under my pants, so she relented and I am wearing a diamond studded genital cuff right now.

    Tomorrow is our third date, and she is expecting sex. She’s already invited half a dozen supermodels to come over. Here’s my dilemma:

    I’ve always been the provider and SD in my relationships. I don’t know how I feel about being someone’s bitch. Even if she is wealthier than me. And getting a PhD from Cal Tech at 19. And drop dead gorgeous. And into orgies with her model friends.

    But if I can only get over my issues, she’s PERFECT. What would you do guys? I need your advice.

    K thank bai

    Darn this genital cuff chafes LOL LOL LOL LOL

  649. HoneyBee says:

    @DelicateEbonySB—LOL! Why of course he would choose Halle Berry! Oooh! What about Kim Kardashian or Beyonce?!

    Do you want a woman (Kim) who has been ran through by many wealthy men(Reggie Bush, Kanye West, etc) on earth or do you want a co-dependent (Beyonce) woman who can appreciate her man(Jay-Z) and not let the extra income go to her head while still making her own money

  650. HoneyBee says:

    @ILoveWestCoastGirl- And it sucks! Lol.. Down right sucks! Isn’t there a quote somewhere that says “ You get what you pay for?” I’d be happy with my 3k or less. You don’t have to BUY ME or MY COMPANIONSHIP but my CONTINUING EDUCATOIN would be remarkable purchase. Lol.

    **My foolish behavior*

  651. HoneyBee says:

    @Jack—I, myself, speaking for myself was not SYMPATHIZING but more EMPATHIZING with your experience, so I don’t want you to take my post about “ being upset because…etc” wrong.

  652. HoneyBee says:

    @DelicateEbonySB- Her book its going to be called “ Beauty Doesn’t Require Brains” Lols! I will write a counterpart. Haven’t figured out the title yet but I definitely will interview Tamera Mowry-Housely and Milo (Basketball Wives) and hell Neomia Campbell too.

  653. HoneyBee says:

    @SweetEbonySB- Chipotle has brown rice with their food now and I find it absolutely delicious and has been told its HEALTHIER just as well as WHEAT bread..Lol..

  654. HoneyBee says:

    @SBBrittany- you will have to be really screen your Great Value Sugar from your Imperial Sugar. It’s not an easy process and happens over ttttttiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmeeeeee…Keep trying honey.

  655. HoneyBee says:

    @Simplicity—That was great! Can you be my marketing manager too?! 8) I just don’t want to publicize my profile # for EVERYONE’S opinion.

  656. HoneyBee says:

    @MissD- I swear we be thinking alike without saying it outloud! Lol!

  657. HoneyBee says:

    @Travelers- Girl if I had $5 for every time you gave the real on here. I would be halfway reaching my monthly savings goal. Lol. I had one guy ask me if we can skip the first date and go straight to the second date and I asked well what is the 2nd date and he replies “ I thought maybe we can hang in a hotel room and get to know each other”.

    **In My Mind Response** “ What the ^$%^(%$**$*$*$*$. He got me %$#()(&^$#.”

    **Woosah Response** “ My sincere apologies sweetheart, there surely have been some misunderstanding in what you are looking for and what I am looking for. I would like to suggest that you carefully read my profile again and if you have a clearer understanding and different approach I look forward to chatting with you soon. If not good luck on your search hon!”

    –Why do men expect sex on the 1st or 2nd date? Wouldn’t that shun you off if the girl slept with you on the first date? How many more people has she slept with on the 1st or 2nd date? I have self-respect and if I bed you trying to IMRESS you or KEEP you I have some serious self esteem issues going on. I love me, so what does that tell you?

  658. HoneyBee says:

    @PreferNot2Say—Extremely unusual, money that appealing under those circumstances would be SERIOUSLY questionable in reference to what his TRUE intentions are. As I have watched everyone respond to your ORIGINAL question, you counter every response. If the arrangement is what you say it is then you don’t need our opinion? Not judging or anything of that nature. Just wanted to point something out. Hope you don’t take offense. Congratulations toots!

  659. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    HoneyBee.

    I think it is OK (ok, I think it is normal :) in SUGAR dating to sleep on second date. I do not see anything wrong with it. usually a girl communicate with a pot for weeks ! by phone, e mails, texts, google. before the first meeting.

    Then you meet him – he is successful, neat, well groomed , sexy (and older , mature ). You are younger and sexy . Why wait till 4-5th date?

    and I do bed my guys in order to “impress him and keep him”. may be I am going everything wrong.?

    SDs – on which date it is OK to do sex in Sugar dating ?

    (I am not doing any sugar dating right now (tired of screening , e mailing, it is like a second job ) , just curious).

  660. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Sleeping with someone on the first date and self respect are not mutually exclusive.

  661. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    …and frankly if anyone asked me how many men I have slept with I would laugh in their face. Anyone who would ask that is too immature to even consider getting involved with. We are at the adult table now….stop acting like it’s high school.

  662. HoneyBee says:

    @I LoveWestCoastGirl – Yes! The 2nd date..maybe..If chemistry is steaming from the first meeting. Ok maybe I should have emphasize on the time period they have been communicating. If you guys have been communicating for weeks (2+)* MY OPINION ONLY* and after the FIRST meet there is CHEMISTRY and ATTRACION- You better be lucky I don’t take you on this table right here right now. LOL *Again my foolish behavior*

    Lol. That’s not what I’m saying. To IMPRESS and KEEP him by just merely having sex with him is a self esteem issue TO ME. But having sex AFTER I’ve already IMPRESSED him to KEEP him is what I am saying. Just not being desperate in other words

    SB Sex approach- I prefer the 3rd+ date. I’M (JUST ME) is saying.

    RE Sugaring-It’s just a big a** headache. Now I see what managers for new hires go through. lol

  663. HoneyBee says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty- Didn’t say they were. Some people can have detachable sex or one night stands and be fine with while some others can’t or won’t entertain it.

    -People usually don’t ask you directly how many people have you slept with. It’s not a common ‘ First Date” topic/question. It was a poll like question. Nothing to read tooooooo deep into or get personal about.

  664. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @HoneyBee – What you said was ‘Why do men expect sex on the 1st or 2nd date? Wouldn’t that shun you off if the girl slept with you on the first date? How many more people has she slept with on the 1st or 2nd date?’

    You are judging those who do sleep with a date on the first date and implying to SDs that they should consider these girls unhealthy. Such an old fashioned way to look at the world.

    Last time I checked there weren’t any awards for virtue on this site or anywhere else.

  665. Simplicity says:

    @HoneyBee–I can help you no problem.

    @Blog gods–can you give honeybee my contact info please?

  666. Jack says:

    Tina and HoneyBee, thanks for the empathy!

    DaddyGT–thanks for the kind compliments on my posts! I find yours of great interest as well.

    Regarding the what-date-to-have-sex question, my opinion is that only one person can answer that question and that is YOU. As to whether you sleep with someone on the first date has something to do with lack of self-esteem–I am completely in agreement with Blue Eyed Blonde (as I often am) that one has no bearing on the other.

    There are certainly women who sleep around due to low-self-esteem issues, but there are plenty of others who are comfortable being intimate with a man on (God forbid!) the first date who have wonderful self-esteem. In my experience, the women in the latter category share the following characteristics:

    1) They LIKE sex. They view themselves as an EQUAL participant in the sexual activity. They do NOT view themselves as the GIVER of their sexual apparatus while the man is the taker.

    2) They do not engage in sex for SECONDARY reasons (ie, so he will like me, so he will pay me, so I can “catch” him, etc). They engage in sex because they expect to be happier (from their own perspective, not based on somebody else’s actions) after it than they were before–despite lack of secondary gain.

    3) The high-self-esteem women who are OK with sex on the first date are usually SELECTIVE. The fact that they are OK with it doesn’t mean they will have sex on the first date with any Tom, Dick and Harry. They usually have high self-esteem because they have their sh*t together, so they will be selective. Because they have high self-esteem, the guy will have to make love to their mind before he makes love to their body, ie, HE will have to show that he has HIS sh*t together, too.

    I have had great relationships grow out of an initial relationship that featured early sex, and I have had other relationships that went nowhere after early sex. I do not subscribe to the theory that most men prefer to “love ‘em and leave ‘em.” In my opinion, when that happens, it is often because other aspects of the woman may have turned the guy off, not because she engaged in sex “too early.”

    Having said the above, I return to my initial point: There is no rule about this. Do what feels right, but when you engage in sex, do it for the right reasons (pleasure, it feels right) rather than for the wrong ones (he’ll like me more if I do, he’ll leave if I don’t, etc). Those are all low-self-esteem reasons for bedding a guy.

    Jack

  667. HoneyBee says:

    @Blue Eyed Beauty- Again. They were simply questions that I wanted the male side of the question or even the female perspective on. I was NOT judging anyone, otherwise a personal statement would have followed each question and it didn’t.

    Your taking it literal or maybe even personal. I don’t know, but either way it goes, I will say what I mean rather than underwrite it and hope you get what I am trying to say.

    I’m not sitting in a courtroom nor is anyone praying to me, so it’s appreciative when you don’t “assume” my action then simply ask.
    Thanks 8)

  668. Tina says:

    Regarding when to have sex (wow, this topic likes to poke it’s little head up now and again, doesn’t it? Pun not intended ;) ) I agree with Jack – it depends on your comfort level with your partner. In IRL relationships, I don’t date much, but when I finally do date someone I’ve already taken time to get to know them and realize if I’m attracted to them or not. I’ve had sex on the first date and don’t feel guilty or dirty about it at all; we were mutually attracted adults that acted accordingly. End of story.

  669. DelicateEbonySB says:

    @HoneyBee: Her book its going to be called “ Beauty Doesn’t Require Brains” Lols!

    I’d like read the chapter where the allowance talk takes place. The negotiation, the amount, the back and forth transactional dollar figures talk. The part where she asks 15 grand and he says OK, darling.

    LOL

  670. I LoveWestCoastGirl says:

    HoneyBee.
    In like you with your FOOLISH behavior. :)

    It was your funny expression to “impress guy and to keep him”:)

    I used it coz my guys are usually impressed in bed. So I use the bed to impress them , I have multiple spontaneous orgasms during intercourse (something I do not have a control over) and a guy gets really impressed and proud of himself (I guess). of course I enjoy it myself as well.

    The hard part is to find a guy you can respect and trust and who will be respectful as well. then you find the guy – it is really fun and pleasure.

  671. HoneyBee says:

    @Jack- Thanks a bunch for elaborating. That was ALL I was asking and you broke it down swell. I love your explanation on 2 and 3.

    -Just as I stated earlier to my post to IloveWestCoastGirl..if you had been chatting for some time and feel that warm liquid steaming in your panties (Lols *Foolish Behavior) then you better hope I don’t remove this table cloth and tell the seated guests to look the other way or feel free to watch! 8). NOTHING against sleeping together on the first night at all!!

  672. HoneyBee says:

    @Tina- Thank you as well. Your comment shows that even though IRL and SD/SB (really dislike these terms), are described to be almost identical, the same rules do not apply

  673. HoneyBee says:

    .@DelicateEbonySB- Lolz “I’d like read the chapter where the allowance talk takes place. The negotiation, the amount, the back and forth transactional dollar figures talk. The part where she asks 15 grand and he says OK, darling”

    -That is going to be the SHORTEST chapter. It will go something like:

    **SD Name) I need some money for a deposit on a 2k12 car, new condo with furnishing, some Chanel, Coach and Juicy Couture!”
    *SD “ That’s quite a lot Beauty. We can work on some of that as we go along in our arrangement honey.”
    ** Beauty “Are you kidding me right now? You see what I look like, right?”
    *SD” Well, yes I have Beauty, but it is best we take things a little slow. Wouldn’t you agree?”
    **Beauty” Hell no, You know I have the body of a goddess and the face of a Barbie doll.’
    *SD” How much will all that cost, honey?”
    **Beauty” 20k, but I’ll settle on 15k and skip the Coach, isn’t really my style anyway.”
    *SD” OK, darling”

    -LMMFAO. Omg I would be a funny writer with *My Foolish Behavior*

  674. HoneyBee says:

    @IloveWestCoastGirl- 8) Thanks! I am really silly. I mean no harm unless you bite me really hard. Lol. Somehow I knew that funny expression was going to rub some people the wrong way. But it doesn’t hurt to try.

    -Any who. Well yes the bedroom is where the real action occurs and you have all the opportune to whip out SOME of your best to assure him he chose the right one. So work it honey! So jealous, I have to find somebody to make me multi-orgasmic. Somebody is not doing their bedroom duties and should be taking notes from your guys! Lol.

    REQUOTE” The hard part is to find a guy you can respect and trust and who will be respectful as well.” EXACTLY

  675. Sweet Ebony Sunshine says:

    What do SDs think about winking? SBs can answer to….

  676. Troy Bennett says:

    naughty molly this article isnt fair to 1/2 of this site ive been on this site since 08 and ive never had a single person reply to any of my messages ive sent out over 3000 messages and not a single reply. this article makes it seem easy it is bc u have guys that just want sex and if ur 5’2 70lbs and blonde ur going to get money. what if u look like me 5’9 178lbs brown hair green eyes and have goals in my life. where does that put me?

  677. SD4ONE? says:

    @ Sweet Ebony Sunshine
    Truth – I was out with a lady I met on SA. I was saying that I think winking if tacky as hell, can’t they take the time to write a few lines, etc. etc. etc.

    Says she “Don’t you remember that our relationship started with a wink from me?”

    Says slightly embarrassed I “I have trouble remembering what I ate for breakfast. What was your name again?”

    The wink I received in the above example was about a week after I joined the site. Since then I don’t think I’ve replied to a single wink. I prefer email with some details, info about the person, etc.

  678. SD4ONE? says:

    @honeybee, Blue Eyed Beauty, Jack
    Do many guys EXPECT sex on the first date? I would guess not. However, we men seem to be wired to at least try for it – expecting to be rebuffed.

    If we try and succeed – surely it’s not that the woman is sleeping with Tom, Dick, Harry and Harry’s brother Earl. Surely it’s because we are just that desirable that she can’t say no. (I guess I should speak for myself here) ;-)

    My personal experience is that getting a no the first or second date is part of the game and adds to the intrigue. (Yes, I said game – ignoring all those profiles that said “no games.” I actually like this game!)

    I don’t really expect sex on the “nth date.” It will occur if and when the chemistry seems right. It it ain’t right after several dates it may never be.

  679. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    I make no apologies for either my beauty or obvious brains. And we can stop the blonde bashing too. So cliche and lazy.

  680. Nawty Molly says:

    Morning Sugars! :D

    When is there going to be a new topic? It’s been a while!!

    I started writing a post about when it is the right time to have sex, but, it turned into more of an erotic novel than a post..lol. :D

  681. Miss D says:

    Good morning everyone, @ honeybee I see you, lol. Anyways, I have a question, sorry for the subject change. I started communicating with one of my old sds a few days ago. Things ended so weird and suddenly two months prior due to some crazy drama that we both had no control over. Hence, why I joined SA. Staying away from each other at the time seemed to be the best solution. Now we are talking again, however when we had our original arrangement we were both new to sugar dating and our arrangement was so general and blurred. After joining this site, I have learned so much in the last two months, and have communicated with some pot sds. I now know what I want. So, we are meeting for dinner to catch up, and I can tell his excited to restart where we left off. However, that previous arrangement that was offered to me no longer interests me. Any tips on how to renegotiate an arrangement that previously existed. I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I need significantly more in terms of money and time. I care for him, and like spending time with him, but things have changed in my life.
    A side note, I have been his only sb, so his still learning.

  682. Frank says:

    SA is sorta like speed dating. We all (at least most of us know) the expectations, a physical relationship with financial benefits flowing from to the person in need is the desired and expected result.

    I think this shortens the normal dating process so comparisons to conventional dating are not really applicable. I have been with several sugar babies, and I find that the older sb’s (30′s to 40′s) are more receptive to sleeping on first date, often tacitly requesting it. The younger sb’s are usually more comfortable in having to work up to that over a series of dates, more like conventional dating.

  683. Nawty Molly says:

    Someone posted about why guys want to talk off SA so soon. I’m sorry, I can’t remember the name and I’m too lazy to go back and find the post.

    I like taking the “talk” off SA right away. First of all, if the guy doesn’t have any pics, I want to see them and get to know the guy a little and it’s hard to do that on SA, especially if you’re in public.

    I know I’m late to the party with that one! :D

  684. Nawty Molly says:

    Miss D ~ This happened to me a while ago. We didn’t talk for almost six months due to some drama that I was never told about and he ended it in a mean way so I was hesitant to see him again, but, I was interested in what he had to say so I met him for lunch.

    Anyway….have you had arrangements since then? If so, you should tell him about them. I KNOW for a fact he will ask or you will so you should be open and honest. Tell him which arrangement really suited you and just tell him that you would like to find another arrangement like that. Really, what do you have to loose? Just be honest, open to suggestions, and tell it like it is! No reason to pussy foot around about it..right? That’s my suggestion, but, I’m sure others will have some. Take care and good luck! :)

  685. DelicateEbonySB says:

    @HoneyBee: “20k, but I’ll settle on 15k and skip the Coach, isn’t really my style anyway.”

    I’m peeing on my pants right now…. LOL LOL LOL

  686. DelicateEbonySB says:

    I can’t even convince a guy to give me 2K a month…. It can’t be my profile since I am going on lots of dates… it must be the strategy. I know I’m pretty, I’m skinny and classy looking. Heck, I even have a bachelor’s degree, a job and Vuitton bag.

  687. DelicateEbonySB says:

    I was approached by a “sugar couple: shopping with mommy, playing with daddy and being our baby”. Have any of you had any experience with that??

  688. flyr says:

    When’s the right time……….

    In addition to Jack’s sage comments, a major determinant is how much real information has been exchanged by email and phone calls prior to the initial meeting. Are the wants , needs and corners of the envelope of expectations identified and understood by both. More importantly is there a genuine attraction that extends beyond economics and sex. Is there a comfort with the person. Is there intellectual compatibility and comfort with the character of the pot?

    I think mature SB’s are generally more capable of harvesting and digesting this information in initial contacts (beginning with the profile) , prior to the first meeting.

  689. PreferNot 2Say says:

    @ honeybee my last line in my original post was “Please tell me i am not the only one who would do this.” I did not ask for input about the arrangement in any way.

    @Bella–TY that’s all I needed to know

  690. Simplicity says:

    DelicateEbonySB– that sounds like it could be interesting if you decide to give it a try i would love to know how it turns out for you.

  691. DelicateEbonySB says:

    @Simplicity: well…. the thing is I’m not into girls… I really don’t like p*ssy, I like c*ck. LOL LOL. I’m pretty sure the wife wants something more than a shopping buddy out of this ….. I have to think about it.

  692. Miss D says:

    @ NM, I have not found an arrangement yet since the ending of that one, a lot of pot sds but no arrangement. I’m actually eagerly searching. I’m hoping with tips from flyr on my profile I may be able to draw out a certain type of person just waiting for the blog gods to approve. However, in the meantime I will see what he says, and hold my ground. Thanks for taking the time to answer my question, any other suggestions anyone?

  693. Simplicity says:

    Oh ok lol well good luck

  694. Midwest SB says:

    Miss D – It is up to the administrators of SA to approve profiles. The “blog gods” only oversee the blog. It sounds like they are a little slower than usual. We can only hope that means there will soon be a new pool of pot SDs!

  695. Midwest SB says:

    Hi Tina!!!!!!!!!

  696. flyr says:

    @MidWest

    Welcome back, We missed you .
    Please send simplicity my contact info……… thanks

  697. HoneyBee says:

    @PreferNot2Say- Yes that was one of the several questions you asked in your post. However, I was not the ONLY person to make a ‘comment’ in reference to ‘your arrangement’, as you may want to go and read some of the post in reference to someone saying they find it hard to believe that arrangement exist. So let’s not point fingers. I answered like every one else but in my own way of saying “proceed with caution”. And when you ask “ Please don’t tell me I’m the only person that would do this’ was more of a statement then a question” Is basically, asking personal opinions. If you did not want EVERYONE’S opinion then maybe next time you’ll be more specific in the response you were expecting to get. Also, I was one of the few that actually congratulated on such an arrangement. Thanks! 8)

  698. Simplicity says:

    Honeybee — did you get my information for me to help you with your profile?

  699. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @NOT SDinLA, no really, it isn’t me – So determined to maintain self-respect even under the worst conditions. Admirable. :-)

  700. Danielle says:

    Hello all,

    I’m trying to figure out how to set up the first “meeting” without sounding desperate or needy.
    I get lots of winks, but no real prospects. I say no REAL prospects because no Pots. have
    initiated any talk of a meeting yet.
    I don’t want to flat out say,”hey, would you like to meet?”
    Does anyone else have this problem?
    Thanks

  701. Simplicity says:

    Danielle– show some initiative don’t be afraid to ask them, some guys can be shy, and by not asking you are missing out.

  702. PhoneGuy says:

    @NOT SDinLA, no really, it isn’t me –
    I’d kick her to the curb. She sounds high maintenance. ;-)

  703. LASB says:

    Hi all!
    Danielle – I think it’s ok to say somehting along the lines of “You seem really cool, and in fact like someone I would want to meet in person. What do you think?”

    So I’m here to say that the urban blog myth that platonic SDs are out there is not just a myth. I just turned one down. I learned that there’s a reason a guy needs to pay a woman an obscene amount of money to hang out with him, and it ain’t always pretty. I walked away because I can’t be around people who are mean to people (even if it’s not me they’re being mean to,) or are constantly complaining about nothing. I can’t fake my intolerance for that sort of thing. The tragic thing was, the guy was convinced that it was his looks that were scaring all the women away, but he wasn’t bad looking until his personality came out.

    On the other hand, sometimes the reason for wanting a platonic SB is not something a regular Jane (like me) would think about until it actually happens. This was the case with platonic pot #2. Technically he is at SD status since the sugar is flowing, though I feel I hardly know him. I learned with him that the reason doesn’t have to be ugly. It could be that the SD is so high profile that he no longer trusts anyone around him. He seems to have a bunch of secrets to divulge, and maybe feels safer doing that with a stranger. Sugar is sort of an unconventional strategy to overcome that, but so far it’s been a cool arrangement. As much as I would love to brag to my friends, “Holy crap, you won’t believe how interesting this person is that I’ve been hanging out with,” a deal is a deal and my lips are zipped.

    Really though, I wasn’t looking for a platonic SD and would probably be happier with a 20k extreme sexual deviant thrill-seeking type (reference to above blog post), provided his deviance wasn’t illegal and that it meshed well with mine. :) I want something hot and sexy and drenched in sugar. Hey, a woman a dream, can she?

  704. HoneyBee says:

    @Simplicity. no 8(

  705. DelicateEbonySB says:

    Hey Danielle, I’ve been the one initiating meetings lately, but usually not before we get to talk on the phone and exchange a few texts. A lot of stuff can be said in texts messages, lemme tell ya….

    Most of the time I weed out the ones whom I know won’t be a good fit, through the stuff they say on texts. Something like: “how much do you want to get paid”. That was a mood killer and I replied with a “good luck”. He was like: “good luck to you too b*tch”. So, yeah…. texting is a good way to figure certain psychotic behaviors.

  706. Simplicity says:

    Blog Gods— can you please send Honeybee my info please. Thank you

  707. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    Re: meeting – Just remember we are in high vacation season so maybe SDs aren’t bringing it up as they don’t have the time to meet until vacation season is over. Some of these men are able to take months off and what with family commitments, they may not be able to meet right now. In my case two pots can’t meet until September.

  708. Danielle says:

    Thanks for all the good advice everyone.
    I think I will do some more e-mailing and texting the ones who seemed
    interested and initiate a meeting.
    Too true about it being vacation time. I had forgotten about that.
    Thanks again!!

  709. lola says:

    I’ve read the coments and it often comes about the allowance, I was working as a part time masseuse last year, beleive me, the more rich and the less tips. Men will give you tips when their thing went up during the massage, very weathy women didn’t give me and medium rich (if you can say it in english) could give me 2.5, 5, 10.

    Men can spend money on us if they think we are priceless

  710. lola says:

    About sleeping with a man, I will if I like him. I think it’s like when you meet a guy you are attacted to but it’s online. I have been seing a man lately and he told me he wants to do it but control himself.

  711. Miss D says:

    Hey Danielle, I would say yes initiate contact, however I have learned in past situations that some sds are all talk and no action. They will seem all interested, and excited to meet you one minute and the next minute disappear for good. My advice is you can initiate but do not push, if they really want to make an effort to meet you or arrange something one email or text should be enough. If you have to keep bringing it up, or plans just keep getting cancelled that’s a sign to move on.

  712. PrettyRedd says:

    1st off, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey guys! lol I’m pretty new to this site, but I’m getting turned off fairly quickly. And SDs FEEL FREE TO RESPOND AS WELL: Why do 95% of the emails I send out go read, ignored, or unread but they logged on post-message. It’s rude & I’m getting annoyed with it! I think I’m a pretty attractive woman. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I may change on my profile? Profile number 1086480

  713. Danielle says:

    Hello all,

    Well, I didn’t initiate a meeting like I was going to because he ( the one I liked) initiated a meeting with me first!
    Woo-hoo!
    He chose to meet at a bar/restaurant which is cool, but it is attached to a motel.?!?
    Hmmmm! This is our first meeting, so I hope it’s just a coincidence that it’s connected to a motel and he’s not expecting me to get a room with him on our first meeting.
    I don’t roll like that.

  714. JustAThought SD says:

    Re: When to have sex

    Do it when you both want. I don’t care if you have high or low esteem at the time. If you think you’re ready or want to wait, go with that. If you want to do it to impress him, or keep him go for it. As long as both parties are in agreement, I think sex and/or abstinence are both great.

  715. SD4ONE1 says:

    I disagree. Do it one date after you want to Danielle. I think the intrigue and anticipation is exciting for a guy if the lady holds back a little bit when it’s clear that you both are interested in sex. One of my favourite relationships started with with a fantastic first night of conversation and cuddling. When I suggested the next step she said “I don’t want to go too far on the first date.” A couple of dates later she stayed over and it was really nice – maybe better if we just went for it the first night.

    I know that’s a game but games like that are fun and I have NEVER felt badly if I was told to wait just one or two more nights.

  716. SD Guru says:

    Time for some guru-ism…

    What’s better than one great SB? Well, two of course…

    Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket = Don’t put all of your sugar in one SB’s basket

    All SD’s lie = All men are liars. I thought all women knew that already.
    :mrgreen:

  717. flyr says:

    Honest Sugar

    I’m with Jack on this. Life is a lot more productive without the constant stream of lies that seem to be too common from the whitehouse to the courthouse and down to personal lives. In business

    I gravitate to those who I trust for their intellect and integrity. Am far more comfortable with a verbal agreement with someone I trust than a 400 page contract with a slimeball.

    I’m convinced that sugar works the same way. It’s foolish to promise a long term relationship to someone whom you barely know, but it can be perfectly honest to share that a long term relationship is a goal. We all understand that there may be intervening factors.

    For the SD thinking about what motivates the SB provides the information to tailor the sugar to the need. Where the sugar is the difference between sleeping well and a foreclosure notice then I think that once established a commitment not to suddenly cutoff the sugar without advance notice adds to the value received. If the sugar is going to buy shoes and bags than a cessation is a non event.

    One of the challenges to the SB is to try to understand the motivation of the pot SD. Is he looking for a high quality sustained relationship or is he on a hunting trip? Either may be acceptable but it helps to know.

    The SB also needs to be sensitive to her actions, has sugar become an entitlement to be “earned” with a minimum effort, or is she participating to keep the relationship at a high level. Is she keeping herself indispensable

    In an ideal world we would be honest with eachother about our external sex lives if that is an area of inquiry. I’m also a fan of spending a little time working on maintenance of a good relationship.

    One of my favorite LA stories concerns Herb – the well known Hollywood talent agent walking through the Polo Lounge with a famous producer. Herb is selling his client’s services or at least trying to.

    Interrupting Herb the director puts his hand on Herb’s shoulder , looks in his eye and says “Herb I know you are lying”. Without missing a beat Herb continues , “Perhaps, but hear me out”.

  718. flyr says:

    @pretty Red “. It’s rude & I’m getting annoyed with it! ”

    It may be the times but it is also most certainly your profile. Here’s the outline.

    Pictures – No guy’s hands cutoff , be smiling every picture should be exceptional , especially the lead

    Effort – Profile does not show a lot of effort

    Differentiation Nothing tells the SD what benefits accrue to him, why are you special

    Focus- No clue of the man you are looking for Nothing to generate resonance

    Target – what’s important to you.

    Gratitude – be thankful for the responses you get .

    Age – Many will put a cutoff well above 21

    Etiquette – I don’t think there is an obligation to respond to unsolicited mail, especially with a brief profile and not a great match.

    Excitement – this is not the used car section

    Scroll back through the prior topic which included dozens of comments on profiles.

  719. Jack says:

    PrettyRed,

    I agree with Flyr and would also add that, as I have posted before, I no longer respond to profiles (or emails from women with profiles) asking for $3000 to $5000, or more. Any woman who thinks she needs $50K to $80K pre-tax in order to date me is far more interested in my money than she is in me. Given that, I am not interested in her.

    Once I have an SB, I wouldn’t be worried spending those amounts and more, but I’m NOT going to start a relationship at even $3000, much less above that.

    Even if I were inclined to respond to someone in the $3K-and-up range, I wouldn’t respond to yours, PrettyRed, for the reasons Flyr gave, and for other reasons. Since you might take offense to my other reasons, I won’t post them here unless you specifically ask me to.

    Jack

  720. Treasured says:

    Jack, have you been corrupted? :D
    High price tag didn’t stop you in the beginning :)

  721. Jack says:

    Treasured,

    I posted extensively on my transformation from high-dollar-doesn’t-bother-me to my current position, above. I don’t want to repeat the extensive post, but after two $5000+ trial arrangements were completely unsatisfactory (entitled behavior, lack of appreciation, etc), I concluded that starting at the high dollars is a bad strategy, for the reasons I stated above.

    I am not the least opposed to getting to and beyond $5000, but ONLY once I have gotten to know the SB and feel that the money will be a bonus to the woman rather than a requirement to hang with me.

    Live and learn, my Treasured.

    Jack

  722. Treasured says:

    Sorry, I have missed most of the posts for the last 2 months.
    And, really sorry you have had a negative experience. Kiss
    I did warn you about the peculiarities of a Sugardating… Unfortunately, even being nice and trusting at the first place vanishes with time.

    Oh well, C’est la Vie.

  723. Jack says:

    Thanks for the kiss, Treasured!

    Yes, you did warn me, but there were extenuating circumstances in both cases that made the situations a bit more interesting, shall we say?

    And the final conclusion is exactly as you put it, “C’est la vie.”

    Much better than “C’est la mort.” LOL.

    Jack

  724. travelersb says:

    You speak good french guys! congrats ;)

  725. Danielle says:

    I’ve seen posts on here and other sites online where SD’s say they are disappointed in a potential SB because she didn’t look like her photos when they finally met in person.
    Well, girls do tend to change things up a bit from time to time.
    I change my hair style and color often and right now I’m working out more to tone up.
    Last month I was curvier with black hair and this month I’m a little more toned and I plan
    on going golden brown with blonde highlights.
    I keep my photos current so guys can see what I look like now, but I don’t want to change so much that a potential is turned off.
    I know looks are important with these arrangements, but to all the SD’s out there
    What’s wrong with changing things up a bit?

  726. SugarNJ says:

    The number one reason for me is the financial security. The only thing that worries me is my age. My 30th is on the 25th, I’m starting to wonder if I’m too old…

  727. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @sugarNJ – 30 is far from ‘too old’….I would up your age limit of SDs though….I’m in my 30′s and tend to limit my searches to 60 and up.

  728. SD4ONE says:

    BEB – 60 and up?? You’ll be missing some gems in their 50′s!! :-)

  729. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @SD4ONE – No doubt!!! But I find those gems in their 50′s are looking for younger than me I’m afraid :-(

  730. Midwest SB says:

    Ladies – Two of my SDs were in their 50s, so don’t eliminate or worry that they are looking for the 20-somethings. Cast a wider net :-)

    Happy Sunday!!!!

  731. travelersb says:

    The 40 to 55 men who write in their profile that they look for a 30 to 40 y o woman inspire me trust and interest. I feel like they are truly looking for a real connection and complicity, something that they are realistic enough to not expect from a 20 y o girl. Unfortunatly for me, I can’t contact them since I am 24 y o. Of course, this is just a generality again. This site is full of exceptions to the norms, both in men and women.

  732. Jack says:

    I’m 56, and have met women from age 19 to 42, and believe that generalities are useless. I look at the individual. The 19-year-oldI recently had lunch with was far more intelligent and mature than many women double her age. And the 42-year-old was a joy when we went out to lunch and on a second date when I met her and her 3-year-old son while I had my girls with me. And I had a 32-year-old come visit me a few days last month (didn’t work out) and a lady in her mid-20′s coming to visit in the near future who seems much more mature than older woman.

    And as for me, when I married my now-ex when I was 47, she remarked (more than once) how “young-acting” I seemed for 47, and how I was able to run circles around her previous boyfriends who were 10 to 20 years than I was.

    Bottom line–do NOT restrict yourself from meeting people based on your perception as to what their age means or implies. Evaluate people as individuals. As TravelerSB wisely says (and she is only 24, apparently!) “This site is full of exceptions to the norms, both in men and women.”

    She is right.

    So, BEB, don’t limit yourself to 60 and over. And based on your posts and your profile, I think many 50-year-olds would be lucky to have you!

    Jack

  733. Blue Eyed Beauty says:

    @Thank you Jack…I shall take the great advice of everyone and start winking at 50 year olds. Here I come boys ;-)

  734. SD4ONE says:

    Jack, wise words as usual. An often repeated theme is “age is just a number” but I disagree a bit with you my “on-line friend.”

    I have to suspect that the 19 year-old you met is the extreme exception to the rule. Most 19 year-olds are, like, ya know, 19 years old!! I’m almost your age Jack and really doubt that I’d have much to say to them or even pretend to know the bands that someone 19 loves and wants to talk about.

    The youngest women I’ve met on the site were 29 and we had nothing in common. My first relationship was with a 31 year-old though and, to your point Jack, she is intelligent, mature and we have much more to talk about than a 23 year gap would suggest.

    Interesting twist for you though. I am just ending a short relationship with a 43 year-old woman and her other man is a guy in his 20′s! It goes both ways.

    What seems to work (for me – maybe not for you) is to restrict the age range from 30′s to 50′s. I’d miss an opportunity to meet Travellersb but, with the volume of women on the site, restricting the number is really necessary.

    Still your advice to BEB is right – the 50′s ain’t bad Blue!

  735. travelersb says:

    It’s ok SD4ONE, I don’t take it personal that you don’t want to meet me.

    As a 24 y o woman, I also dream of meeting a guy under 30 y o who would have a lot of life experiences, would be great in bed, would not be too superficial ( we all need to be a minimum superficial to live and succeed in this world), who would be caring, not selfish, who would be wise and mature, in good shape, with a perfect smile, tall, a good attitute, open minded, adventurous and welling to share his time, his knowledge and his money…….

    but when I come on this site, I unconsciously ignore all guys under 35 years old who claim to worth more than 5 millions. Either I don’t believe them, either I know in advance that they would be jerks. I don’t really hope for the exception, the one who will priorise a sincere exchange rather than a sexy pic or a hot dirty talking.

    That is only for my personnal point of view. I think that the qualities that I value more are more common with older men.

    Everybody is looking for something different and value differents aspects of a relationship. If an older gentleman likes to be a mentor and value a lot physical appearance, then maybe a big age gap is no matter of problem in the kind of relationship he looks for.

  736. Jack says:

    SD4One, yes, indeed, the 19-year-old was the extreme exception. I would estimate that in the 3 months I have been on SA, I have had around 50 ladies under age 25 write to me. It was not hard to screen those down to just 3 that I was interested in meeting. I would say it takes no more than a minute to review the email they wrote (usually not much of an email, anyway) and if needed, look at their profile, to determine there wouldnot be much commonality there. So figure the whole group of 50 took maybe an hour to screen.

    How much time have you and I spent blogging here? I would say more than an hour.

    So I feel that it’s worth my time to screen everyone–regardless of age–to find that diamond I am looking for. After all, I am looking for that “extreme exception” anyway!

  737. isabellebeauvais says:

    @Jack
    Im so sorry to hear about the two awful experiences, I think some of the behaviours of some SB on this site(including the escorts) are horrendous!

    However, I have to disagree on your comment that the more you give the less respect you recieve, far from it I think you were misforunate to meet with women that are self-entitled.I as a student(struggling to make ends meet) and also being the daughter of a businessman, I know that most generous SD didnt pick up their wealth from the street but through dedicated hardwork I would certainly feel grateful for the financial support and im sure there are other SB on here that would agree with me.

    Im quite glad that you havent turn jadded because of those experiences and you continue to look for a quality sugar baby(or should i say sugar lady).

    @billyap I still a bit shocked at you would spend 7k on someone you hardly knew/met less than 72hrs.I dont want to offend but that is (dare i say it) stupity to me, perhaps after a couple of weeks meeting then yes.I think you’ve probably learnt a costly lesson from that, personally i think that there was no communication about mutual needs including discussing sex and intimacy when, where and how.

    @travelersb can i ask what country you live in (just curious no reason really).

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