It’s been pointed out on the blog that it’s better for newbie SB’s to have the first meeting with a pot SD on her home turf because too many things can go wrong when you travel to meet someone for the first time. There are many blog stories about first meetings gone bad where a SB traveled to meet a pot SD and the meeting was planned to last several days. To spend that much time with someone you’re meeting for the first time is usually not a good idea not only because too many things can go wrong, it can also cause expectations and pressure to build and make the situation uncomfortable. What if the person is not as advertised in the profile or the chemistry isn’t there? It’s not uncommon to think everything will go according to plan but only to find out that’s not the case when you get there.
Having said that, if a SB decides to travel to meet a pot SD for the first time, there are some guidelines she can follow to make the process less risky. It doesn’t guarantee a good meeting, but at least she is well prepared if things go wrong. Also, if someone chooses not to follow the guidelines then she should be fully aware of the risks she is taking.
- Make sure round trip airfare is paid for by the SD. Or, ask him to send you the funds (ie by Paypal) for you to book your own ticket.
- Verify that a hotel room is reserved in your name and paid for by the SD. Or, ask him to send you the funds (ie by Paypal) for you to make your own reservation. Do not plan to stay at his place.
- Ask him to cover the cost of transportation from home to the airport (or parking at the airport), and airport to the hotel.
- Have spending money and credit card with you just in case you need to change your return flight or hotel, and for meals and incidentals in case you end up on your own.
- Let someone you trust know your itinerary and periodically check in with her so that she knows where you are and that you’re ok. Check the blog to see if sugars will be in the area you’re visiting. It’s always good to have a local contact for safety and advice.
- Make sure expectations of the meeting are clearly communicated, understood, and agreed to by both parties before the trip.
- Trust your gut instinct and don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Always remind yourself a true SD will respect your safety and your integrity.
- Allow plenty of time for air travel. Flights are frequently delayed due to weather, congestion, maintenance, and other reasons. If you have to be home by certain time, book an earlier flight back to allow room for delays.
- SD Guru
- Midwest SB